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Previously on Sister Wives...
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A couple of days ago,
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I asked Kody
if he can meet me at
Salsa Brava.
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I really, really would like
to have an amiable divorce.
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I was laid up with COVID.
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I was out of my mind,
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- but when I talking about
getting anxiety, Christine,
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
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- and depression.
- I know.
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And I'm sorry to even laugh
a little bit,
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but Gwendolyn was like...
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You're mean that way.
It's okay.
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I'm...
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I just never
wanna see her again.
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So you're okay with Christmas?
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Kody's angry and it's just...
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It's not a good time.
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Oh, really?
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They're not gonna do Christmas together.
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Janelle is gonna do Christmas
with her kids.
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The whole thing, frankly,
makes me nauseous.
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I have somebody in my life
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who is fundamentally
loyal to me,
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who sees me
as the head of the family.
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I'm saying to you
that you and I get that,
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if you're loyal to me.
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I'm just angry
and I'm thinking,
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"What the hell
am I doing here?"
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My brother, Michael,
and my dear friend, Nathan,
and I like to do man trips.
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We've gone out
to Brian's place
in Oklahoma.
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My brother, Michael's,
in his mid-30s.
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He's a generation
younger than me.
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I wasn't raised in polygamy.
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My mom and dad
taught me about polygamy
when I was young,
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but they didn't become
a polygamist
until I was an adult.
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I have five sisters,
and then there were five boys,
including me.
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Nathan's been a dear friend
of mine for years.
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He is a fundamentalist Mormon,
and he's been married
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and divorced
in plural marriage.
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So he's actually
had that experience
like mine,
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where he's got a wife
that he loves at home,
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and another wife that he loves
who's leaving him.
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Brian's not a polygamist.
He's mainstream.
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Brian was the consummate
bachelor, until a year ago.
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All I'm thinking about
is the fact
that she's leaving me,
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and I am bitter
and I am yelling about it.
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I've been whining
to these three gentlemen
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about my divorce
with Christine
for a while.
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This is like a...
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men's group,
a therapy session for me.
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So, okay. So, like, you know,
grief if you have
the stages of grief.
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And I'm assuming
that with divorce,
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it's the same type of a thing,
'cause you kept, kind of,
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being, like, you know,
"I can't really believe
this is happening."
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It was definitely disbelief.
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Yeah. She was,
my boxes all out
into the garage,
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and I was so shocked.
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You come home
and your stuff's
all packed up.
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It's like, "What's going on?"
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Oh,
I'm still at the angry state.
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It, it's over now.
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Christine's left.
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But I'm still feeling
a lot of anger about,
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sort of,
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fall out, sort of, a...
civil war with the family.
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The very beginning,
the first reaction
was relief.
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I went from that, to,
I went to angry.
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Because when I started
doing this,
literally going online,
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and trying to research
if you're getting a divorce.
How do you,
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sort of,
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how do you manage
keeping things amiable
with kids and stuff like that?
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And what it is,
is just, there,
there's a really big,
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like, walk away
from women movement,
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and it's about angry man
who have been left.
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And I think
that might have been
a touch of poison,
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'cause I got angry.
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So I'm going around
to Robyn and to Janelle.
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And they feel like
I'm the woman here.
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Like, Robyn actually said,
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"This is affecting
our relationship
in a terrible way."
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I mean, like,
I've witnessed Kody's...
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process...
through this divorce.
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And he's all over the place.
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I mean, one minute he's angry,
another minute he's...
very upset and sad.
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And then another minute,
he's, like,
in his peaceful place,
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where he's like,
"Maybe this was meant to be,"
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and then he goes back
to the angry thing again, so.
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You're, like, sitting there,
talking to him,
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and he's just goes down
this, kind of, crazy wild ride
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and all of a sudden,
you're on the Kody Coaster.
Ah!
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It's scary.
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The thing I, kind of,
wanna express to you
is when you encountered anger.
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The root of anger
is in two things.
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It's either in fear,
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or it's in self-delusion
or self-deception.
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You have to look
in the mirror,
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and see the good,
the bad and the ugly.
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And... and own everything completely.
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I'm still in self-deception,
I can tell.
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So there,
there was this moment
when I...
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When Christine told me
she didn't want us...
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Want me staying
at her place anymore,
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where I was ambivalent.
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The reason I was ambivalent,
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I think, was literally
because I thought
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she was playing a game.
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So her being gone, relief.
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The fallout with the
whole family is grief.
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The sadness
that kids struggle with,
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I mean, I think
the biggest fantasy
any child has,
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is that mom and dad
love each other
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all their lives long.
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I don't know, it's just...
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The whole breakup,
the divorce is,
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"Oh, now I've got
this check mark
of shame."
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Who wants to roll the dice
and marriage will be 50-50.
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Maybe this is gonna work out,
maybe it isn't.
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COVID has changed
a lot of things
in our society.
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We were just talking
about this today.
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We have another friend
that just got divorced.
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Being together during COVID,
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they couldn't take each other.
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I always, uh,
encourage Kody
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to have his guy time.
I think it's important.
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Everybody needs that.
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You know,
women need women time,
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and men need men time.
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When we lived in Utah,
he did it fairly regularly.
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We used to call it,
"Testosterone Tuesday."
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Polygamy, um, literally,
it could be a gift,
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where it dilutes personality.
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But if I'm married
to this woman,
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she's really cantankerous.
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I don't enjoy her,
but I can't leave.
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It'd be nice
to have another wife,
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'cause then I can get away
from her for a little bit.
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Or, it 'd be nice
if I'm the one
who's cantankerous
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She's thinking,
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"It's be nice
if you had another wife,
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so I can get
a break from you."
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He hit it on the nose.
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And then if you dilute it more
and more and more,
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- I mean...
- We might go both ways.
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Go both ways.
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That kind of comment
just makes me wanna vomit.
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Maybe you should look
at the whole big picture then,
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in a situation like that,
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and figure out
how you can work together
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and be together,
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instead of using somebody else
as an escape.
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Are you kidding me?
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How will it be for you
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if Christine enters
into another relationship?
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I might feel funny
when that happens.
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I might get jealous
when that happens.
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I mean, I feel betrayed.
No doubt.
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But I'm also, like, going,
"Well, have a good life."
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I mean, what can I do?
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I'm not gonna be bothered
when another guy
is in her life.
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I don't think.
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Like, what would you have done different,
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to save the marriage?
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There was one time in my life
when I realized
the biggest mistake I made,
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was Christine was, kind of,
in this...
disconnect situation,
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where she was telling me
how much she hated polygamy.
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And my mistake was,
when she was saying,
"I hate polygamy,"
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I was going, "What the hell?
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You wouldn't have a family.
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You wouldn't have me,
you wouldn't have
our children."
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Instead of saying,
"I know it's hard, baby.
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I'm sorry.
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I love you
and I wish it didn't hurt."
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No.
It wasn't just
hating polygamy,
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it was realizing that...
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after I gave so much,
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and I did anything he wanted.
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And anything
he wanted me to do,
I did.
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And, but when I needed help,
he said, "No."
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They're not just my kids
and my responsibility.
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They're our children.
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He's an amazing
super dad helping Robyn.
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He immediately
started helping Robyn
with everything,
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as soon as she came
in the family.
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Back in the house
in Lehi, Utah,
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I was working 60 hours a week.
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Christine was asking
for things
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that plural marriage
didn't really afford.
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Women, generally,
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and those are
certainly not things
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that Robyn ever got.
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Parenting is never easy
in plural marriage.
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Kody's gone,
three-fourths of the time.
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And that's why
I had child care help,
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'cause I can't ask Kody
for that, kind of, help.
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He's got too much
on his plate.
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If Christine called tomorrow
and said,
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"I wanna sit down
and talk about this."
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Would you be there?
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I'd have to go, "Okay."
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Oh, anger down,
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but I feel like
I've been humbled enough
by this experience to say,
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"Uh, yeah, Christine."
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Uh, 'cause I did
some things wrong.
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I wanna acknowledge it.
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Say, "I'm sorry."
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And...
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You know, uh,
essentially set you free.
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Now, you know,
looking into
your other marriages,
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you will know what not to do.
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A hundred percent.
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This is the biggest lesson
I've gotten
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from the experience
in the divorce,
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is that anger is a sword
that stabs indiscriminately.
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My anger was affecting
everybody else.
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Yeah.
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Like, the kids were like,
"Mom,
what have I done to dad?"
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And my wives were going,
"What have I done to you?"
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You know, like, and I'm there.
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Boys...
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what an experience.
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My anger has affected
my relationship with Robyn.
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Um, it's affected
my relationship with Janelle
very much.
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I think Janelle's
on the defensive now.
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And I can't figure out why
and I, if I reflect
for a little bit,
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it's like,
"Oh, I've been really angry."
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I'm challenged
with my relationship
with Janelle right now, but...
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I think, you know,
once we get some things
worked out, we'll be fine.
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And the boys were asking
if you've thought,
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that you've thought
that you would come over
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- and I said,
it wasn't optimistic.
- No.
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No, I'm not coming over.
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It's, like, I have a house.
I have a place
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where we would have Christmas.
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Kody hasn't called them,
they haven't called him.
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So I can see
that this is not
gonna resolve itself.
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Janelle,
I saw you right there,
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mark my rules.
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Well, and I've seen you
call me all kinds of names.
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I'm tired
of being gaslit by you.
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You are gaslighting me.
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So listen,
you really need to stop
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throwing me
under the bus, okay?
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Okay. You know what,
then you stop throwing me.
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00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,344
You act like this is my fault.
244
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,862
Before Thanksgiving,
we had a conversation
245
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:20,000
in Robyn's backyard,
246
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,379
where it became
apparent to me,
at least, that it was...
247
00:10:23,379 --> 00:10:25,482
I was gonna need to do
a separate holiday
248
00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:26,931
with my kids.
249
00:10:26,931 --> 00:10:28,931
Kody's been out of town
for a week or so,
250
00:10:28,931 --> 00:10:30,482
so he's gonna come over.
251
00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:32,758
And I just really need
to make sure he understands
252
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,862
that I'm doing something
separate for Christmas.
253
00:10:34,862 --> 00:10:37,000
I, kind of, need
to finalize those plans
with him.
254
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,379
Hey.
255
00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:41,862
It's winter out there.
256
00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:43,482
Janelle and I
have really been struggling.
257
00:10:43,482 --> 00:10:45,896
At the same time,
I'm, sort of,
being in this place,
258
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,482
where I, kind of,
feel like I'm begging
259
00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:48,551
for something deeper.
260
00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:50,758
Oh, brr.
261
00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:54,896
Drinking my water hot
these days,
262
00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:58,172
because there's no
decent way to stay warm.
263
00:11:01,482 --> 00:11:02,758
What you doing?
264
00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:06,379
Work.
265
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:07,758
- Little bit. Work,
little bit.
- What?
266
00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,000
Oh.
267
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,862
You know, it's like,
I see the writing on the wall.
268
00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:16,517
This whole thing
happened with Christine
and, uh...
269
00:11:16,517 --> 00:11:18,862
I don't wanna be in that place
with Janelle.
270
00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:23,241
It feels like
Janelle's been completely
insensitive to that.
271
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,827
You guys have a very tiny
Christmas tree.
272
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,000
Yeah. I'm gonna actually
take it with me to the BnB.
273
00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:36,965
So...
274
00:11:36,965 --> 00:11:38,517
I'm treading
really lightly here,
275
00:11:38,517 --> 00:11:40,620
'cause I can't get a read
on Kody.
276
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:43,103
We've never had a discussion
about the separate holiday.
277
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,482
The last discussion
we really had about it,
278
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:48,827
was... on Robyn's porch.
279
00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,000
What are you doing
for Christmas?
280
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:52,586
I'm here.
281
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,862
- Are ya?
- Yeah.
282
00:11:53,862 --> 00:11:55,275
What about your kids?
Who of your kids are coming?
283
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:57,241
- Where are you going
for Christmas?
- Here. I'm here,
284
00:11:57,689 --> 00:11:58,758
but my kids...
285
00:11:59,275 --> 00:12:00,758
they're renting an Airbnb.
286
00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,000
I don't think they're
287
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,931
- welcome...
- I never said
my kids weren't welcomed.
288
00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:08,551
- If they apologize,
and they're, kind of, like...
- No. No.
289
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000
I completely reverse that.
290
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,172
I said, "Oh,
we've gotta do this,
291
00:12:11,172 --> 00:12:12,586
be able
to have a conversation,
292
00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:15,482
so we're not sitting here
in our house
like a bunch of alcoholics,
293
00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:17,482
that had a fight last night
and forgot it happened."
294
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:21,000
So they're getting, kind of,
a rental home
here in Flagstaff.
295
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,827
Yeah,
'cause everybody's coming
this year.
296
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,275
Everybody is?
297
00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:26,482
Yeah. Not Maddie and Kayla,
but everybody else is.
298
00:12:26,482 --> 00:12:28,241
- Everybody is coming?
- Yep.
299
00:12:29,689 --> 00:12:32,000
- So...
- And I'm just finding
this out?
300
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,758
Kody, you're the one
who said they can't come,
301
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:35,758
- until they apologize.
- I didn't say that.
302
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:37,172
- You said...
Last time we talked,
- I didn't... No. No. No.
303
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:38,482
you said they can't come
until they apologize.
304
00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:41,275
Listen, you and I
need to communicate some more,
'cause I...
305
00:12:41,275 --> 00:12:43,586
That's what you said.
You've said that to me
multiple times.
306
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:45,172
"They need to apologize."
307
00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:48,172
But there's been
no movement...
on either side.
308
00:12:48,172 --> 00:12:50,482
Kody hasn't called them,
they haven't called him.
309
00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:52,827
So I can see that this
is not gonna resolve itself.
310
00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:55,620
- So you're taking that
to the BnB?
- Yeah.
311
00:12:55,620 --> 00:12:57,586
I bought a small one
for the apartment.
312
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:58,862
How big is the BnB?
313
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,344
It's...
like a, just a house.
314
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:02,068
So...
315
00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:05,000
Hunter gets here Monday.
316
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,413
And then he's just gonna stay
at the apartment.
317
00:13:06,413 --> 00:13:07,896
- Here?
- Mmm-hmm.
318
00:13:07,896 --> 00:13:08,862
- He's gonna stay here?
- He can sleep
at one of your mattress,
319
00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:09,965
or something.
320
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,689
This whole house thing
that they're doing,
321
00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:16,103
I don't know,
as much as it's probably
my fault,
322
00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:18,344
it's like a knife
right through my heart.
323
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,862
This Christmas tree,
324
00:13:20,862 --> 00:13:23,862
it's like
the complete degradation
of our family unit.
325
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:25,896
I'm trying to hide this.
I don't...
326
00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:28,413
I don't,
I'm just overwhelmed by it.
327
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,758
And I feel the adrenaline
rushing in to me.
328
00:13:30,758 --> 00:13:33,448
It's just absolutely
heart-breaking to me.
329
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:40,172
So Hunter's coming Monday,
and he's just staying here.
330
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,172
When are you getting the...
331
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:43,482
- The...
- Starts on the...
332
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:45,000
Are you getting the BnB?
333
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,689
- Um...
- The short-term rental?
334
00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:49,000
Yeah.
Christine and I
are sharing it,
335
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,000
'cause Christine's coming
after Christmas.
336
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,275
Mmm-hmm.
337
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:55,551
'Cause she said
Ysabel truly wanna see you.
338
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:57,241
Yeah.
339
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:58,172
But...
340
00:13:59,103 --> 00:14:00,482
And the boys were asking,
341
00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:02,103
if you thought,
that you've thought
that you would come over,
342
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:03,896
- and I said
it wasn't optimistic.
- No.
343
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,413
No. I'm not coming over.
344
00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:08,275
It's, I have a house,
so I have a place
where we would have Christmas.
345
00:14:08,275 --> 00:14:09,758
But you put stipulations
on it.
346
00:14:09,758 --> 00:14:11,034
No, No, Janelle.
347
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,931
- You put stipulations
on it, Kody.
- All I wanna do,
348
00:14:12,931 --> 00:14:14,758
is talk to them.
349
00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:15,862
- We're not...
- You told me...
350
00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:18,275
No. No.
You can write down
all you want...
351
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,655
Okay. You know what,
352
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:21,931
you keep flipping it on me.
I corrected that completely.
353
00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,275
No you didn't, well, too late.
354
00:14:24,275 --> 00:14:26,172
- I had already told them.
- How is that too late?
355
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:29,000
I already told them
that unless they apologized,
356
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,172
that they weren't
gonna be able to come
357
00:14:30,172 --> 00:14:31,758
- to Christmas.
- Oh,
you didn't correct it?
358
00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:35,517
So what kind of conversation
could happen without my boys
issuing an apology
359
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:39,172
to make it "safe" for them
to get together
to have a conversation
360
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:41,862
They're gonna,
the mechanics are the same.
361
00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:44,275
- See, you always...
- You're not representing
very well for me.
362
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:45,931
Stop representing for me.
You put this back...
363
00:14:45,931 --> 00:14:47,482
Well, then you
call them, Kody,
364
00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:49,482
- 'cause you always
put it back on me.
- I...
365
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:50,862
That phone goes both ways.
366
00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:52,275
You put it back on me.
- And I've been available
367
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:53,068
to talk to them.
368
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,482
You know,
it still surprises me
369
00:14:54,482 --> 00:14:56,689
that Kody feels
like it's my responsibility
370
00:14:56,689 --> 00:15:00,103
to facilitate
this relationship
between he and my children.
371
00:15:00,103 --> 00:15:02,172
He's a parent as much as I am.
372
00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:03,379
You are always,
373
00:15:03,379 --> 00:15:05,931
all this stuff,
you're always flipping it
back on me.
374
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,413
- It's because
it belongs on you, Janelle.
- No, it does not.
375
00:15:08,413 --> 00:15:09,655
Why does it belong on me?
376
00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:12,517
Why does it belong on me?
377
00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:14,689
Because you didn't support
my stand
378
00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:17,172
when it came to, actually,
doing the COVID stuff.
379
00:15:17,172 --> 00:15:19,586
Kody,
I was protecting my children,
and you have said,
380
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,275
"Choose your loyalties,
or you're not
gonna have a husband."
381
00:15:22,275 --> 00:15:25,000
So I'm supposed to choose
between you and our children?
382
00:15:25,931 --> 00:15:27,275
- That's what
you basically said.
- You know what,
383
00:15:27,275 --> 00:15:29,758
all you have to do
is support what I'm doing.
384
00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:33,000
Do you understand
that parents are supposed
to make a united front?
385
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,586
I'm now being accused
of everything
he just accused Christina,
386
00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:38,620
and a lot of what
he accused Meri of.
387
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:42,689
- Janelle, you knew rules.
- You keep acting
like this is my fault.
388
00:15:42,689 --> 00:15:43,931
- You did not give us...
- And you...
389
00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:46,172
- any rules.
- undermine them
390
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:48,758
Everyday we talked
about what that were.
391
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:50,758
No.
You didn't give us the list,
until November.
392
00:15:50,758 --> 00:15:53,103
The list was nothing.
We were already talking
about it,
393
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:55,103
and everybody
was denying it, anyway.
394
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:58,000
Listen.
I'm tired of being gaslit
by you.
395
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,413
You are gaslighting me.
396
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:03,103
This, like, all this,
"I feel so pressured"
397
00:16:03,103 --> 00:16:04,862
This is you saying,
I don't wanna do it,
398
00:16:04,862 --> 00:16:06,931
but I'm gonna make it
your fault.
399
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,931
So listen,
you really need to stop
throwing me under the bus.
400
00:16:09,931 --> 00:16:11,482
Okay?
401
00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:14,586
Okay. You know what,
then you stop throwing me.
You act like this is my fault.
402
00:16:14,586 --> 00:16:18,379
You have somehow set me up,
it's like the Teflon Queen.
Isn't that what you said?
403
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:21,172
Uh, yes,
because you won't take responsibility...
404
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,275
Kody, I did nothing,
... for your own actions.
405
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,586
I sat at home.
406
00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:26,000
I did what I was supposed
to do.
407
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,275
- But it wasn't ever
good enough for you.
- Janelle,
408
00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:29,758
- This is all I need.
- You wanted me
to kick the boys out.
409
00:16:30,758 --> 00:16:32,275
This is all I need,
410
00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:35,379
is to not sit here and pretend
that at Christmas time,
nothing's wrong.
411
00:16:35,379 --> 00:16:36,758
You act like
this is not your fault.
412
00:16:36,758 --> 00:16:38,172
Do you want
this relationship...
413
00:16:38,172 --> 00:16:39,586
- ...between you and I to work?
- I don't know. Do you,
414
00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:41,655
because when you say
choose your loyalties,
415
00:16:42,379 --> 00:16:44,000
choose between me
and your children...
416
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,482
Now you are literally gaslighting.
417
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:48,275
- I was only
asking everybody
- I am not.
418
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,827
- I...
- to obey the rules
of our home.
419
00:16:51,482 --> 00:16:53,241
I agree to the CDC rules.
420
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,000
You had more,
421
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,896
and it was never
good enough, Kody.
422
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,655
I wasn't gonna
turn my boys out
in the middle of a pandemic.
423
00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:05,275
They chose to have
their social lives,
424
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:09,000
You keep circumventing
the culpability here,
425
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,482
and you keep wanting
to put it on me.
426
00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:13,241
- And you are wrong.
- No.
427
00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:14,931
- Listen.
- Dead wrong.
428
00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:16,793
This goes beyond you saying,
429
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:20,000
"Whoa,
we are an alcoholic family
and we're shoving everything."
430
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,758
Kody, it goes beyond that.
431
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:24,413
COVID, you got COVID
and now all of a sudden,
there's this new rule
432
00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:25,931
that the family
can't get together.
433
00:17:26,758 --> 00:17:27,758
What new rule?
434
00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:29,862
That the boys have to...
and say they're sorry.
435
00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:31,931
Janelle,
I corrected that
and you know it.
436
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:33,586
- So stop using that one.
- No, because...
437
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,172
You're hanging your hat
on that one,
438
00:17:35,172 --> 00:17:36,586
- and you're wrong.
- Because you yelled at me
439
00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:38,758
for many, many times
you yelled at me.
440
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,931
Two times
we had a conversation.
441
00:17:39,931 --> 00:17:42,620
I'm not allowed to be angry
over this entire experience?
442
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:45,586
- And I'm not allowed to...
- The lack of loyalty,
the lack of trust,
443
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,275
the lies, the,
the gaslighting,
444
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,275
- You're gaslighting me, Kody.
- I am not.
445
00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:51,586
Yes, you are.
446
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:54,275
So what I doing,
I'm trying to make you
actually be responsible
447
00:17:54,275 --> 00:17:56,000
in a relationship.
448
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,689
What have I done?
I'm not flipping the script.
449
00:17:57,689 --> 00:17:59,689
What have I done?
450
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:02,758
I'm not talking
about the rules that I made
for Christmas time,
451
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,310
because that was necessary,
452
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:07,517
because nobody was really
being honest about
what they were doing anyway.
453
00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:10,482
But you and Robyn
are the paragons
of honesty and perfection?
454
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:14,379
You know what,
I just thought
it was hypocritical
455
00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:16,862
to make one family
do everything that I wanted,
456
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,379
and not have
everybody else do it.
457
00:18:18,379 --> 00:18:20,482
I asked for the rules,
clear back in March.
458
00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:21,793
- Asked for them.
- Janelle, listen.
459
00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:24,172
Asked for them
and you were like,
"Everybody do what they want."
460
00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:26,172
I said, "Here's the rules"
all the time.
461
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,620
Gabriel knew the rules
all the time.
462
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:29,275
That's why I'm saying
he's gaslighting,
463
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:33,000
'cause we talked about it
every single day
we were having a conversation.
464
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,827
Kody, I think this is deeper
than that.
465
00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:37,689
This is way deeper than that.
466
00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:40,172
The kids are very frustrated
for a lot of reasons.
467
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:41,586
You're acting like
it's just they're...
468
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:44,172
That they disrespected you
for COVID.
469
00:18:44,172 --> 00:18:46,689
- That this whole
"You need to apologize"
- They were lying.
470
00:18:46,689 --> 00:18:48,620
- You need to apologize
to Robyn.
- I...
471
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,620
I corrected that
pretty strongly.
472
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,379
You need to apologize
to the family,
473
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:55,379
- to Robyn.
- For blaming Robyn for,
for what was going on?
474
00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:57,172
They literally blamed Robyn,
475
00:18:57,172 --> 00:18:58,482
and they sit there
and they admitted
they blamed her.
476
00:18:58,482 --> 00:19:01,379
But, and when you were gone
for four, five months, Kody,
477
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:04,103
- they started to get angry.
- Janelle, I wasn't gone
for four or five months,
478
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:07,586
and you know that as well.
And that's an exaggeration,
and a lie.
479
00:19:21,379 --> 00:19:24,000
Do you understand
that you lied?
480
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,482
That's the reason
I call you the Teflon Queen.
481
00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:26,965
I do not lie.
482
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:28,965
'Cause you're lying
about what has happened
and what's been going on.
483
00:19:28,965 --> 00:19:30,551
It's wild to me
that you think I lied,
484
00:19:30,551 --> 00:19:32,172
because I think
you're manipulating.
485
00:19:34,379 --> 00:19:35,482
Well...
486
00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:36,965
tell me how I'm manipulating.
487
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:39,172
Oh, no. No. No.
Tell the whole world.
488
00:19:39,586 --> 00:19:41,103
Tell the world,
489
00:19:41,103 --> 00:19:43,000
and then go hang out
with your buddy, Christine.
490
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,344
Tell the world...
491
00:19:45,344 --> 00:19:47,655
how I've lied,
how I've manipulated,
492
00:19:47,655 --> 00:19:48,931
how I've done you wrong.
493
00:19:49,758 --> 00:19:51,758
Oh, and,
and she loves to sit
494
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,344
right here, right here.
495
00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:55,172
You know, [bleep] talk me,
496
00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:57,103
without ever having
that conversation with me
497
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:58,172
to my face.
498
00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:01,000
Yeah. I mean,
this is one thing
499
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,724
about being public
and our lives being recorded,
500
00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:05,689
is we hear things
501
00:20:05,689 --> 00:20:07,655
that we don't say
to each other's faces.
502
00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,965
I made all the efforts
to love them.
503
00:20:10,965 --> 00:20:13,103
I made the efforts
to join them together.
504
00:20:13,103 --> 00:20:15,103
I made the efforts
to make everything work.
505
00:20:15,103 --> 00:20:16,275
I made the effort.
506
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:20,103
I was atlas
carrying this... family
on my shoulders.
507
00:20:20,103 --> 00:20:22,413
And the minute
that I shrugged it off,
508
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:28,655
Kody, I think you're trying
to do this all to justify...
509
00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:30,068
- Christine is gone...
- What am I justifying?
510
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:32,172
- ...You're pushing me
out the door.
- What am I justifying?
511
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:34,275
You're now pushing me
out the door.
512
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,344
No, I'm not.
513
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:37,758
- Looks like it.
- Didn't I show up here?
514
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,551
Choose between
my children and me.
515
00:20:39,551 --> 00:20:41,586
Kody, it's been a week.
You were gone a week.
516
00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:43,103
And you don't call,
you don't come,
517
00:20:43,103 --> 00:20:44,551
I don't ever know
when you're gonna come.
518
00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:46,482
It's like you're just doing
this really weird--
519
00:20:46,482 --> 00:20:48,862
Are you really doing
a relationship with me?
520
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:51,448
I need you to stop blaming me
for everything
521
00:20:51,448 --> 00:20:53,896
and start being culpable
for what you have done.
522
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:57,482
The boys lied
and I couldn't get them
to obey the rules.
523
00:20:57,482 --> 00:20:59,689
The boys didn't like
the COVID protocols.
524
00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:02,000
They're young,
they didn't think they were
gonna be affected by it.
525
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
"Sure, Dad. Whatever."
526
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,758
And they
continued to socialize,
527
00:21:04,758 --> 00:21:07,758
and continued
to be around their friends,
they continued to date.
528
00:21:07,758 --> 00:21:09,896
They brought COVID home
from that.
529
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:11,344
The whole time saying,
530
00:21:11,344 --> 00:21:13,758
"Dad, we're being careful.
We're doing everything
you're telling us to."
531
00:21:13,758 --> 00:21:15,000
But they weren't.
532
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,000
And they're blaming me
for the choices that they had.
533
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,551
They were not culpable.
534
00:21:19,551 --> 00:21:22,275
That is not gaslighting.
That is...
535
00:21:22,275 --> 00:21:24,482
- That is accountability.
- You made this about
536
00:21:24,482 --> 00:21:27,655
all these other problems
that we have
that we can't sweep under...
537
00:21:27,655 --> 00:21:29,689
- I did not. I did not.
- ...This became...
Yes, you did.
538
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,275
- You said we're an--
- I did not. I did not.
539
00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:34,448
- Wow.
- Stop talking like
I'm just an idiot here.
540
00:21:34,448 --> 00:21:36,379
- Well, then stop talking to me
like I am.
- Janelle,
541
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:39,000
I've seen what you've done
this entire time.
542
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,482
Number one, you undermined
the basic rules I had.
543
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:45,551
You made fun of me
to the boys.
544
00:21:45,551 --> 00:21:48,172
See, if you ever
had my back...
545
00:21:49,862 --> 00:21:52,068
Have you ever been
a team with me?
546
00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:54,448
Have we ever co-parented?
547
00:21:54,448 --> 00:21:57,482
Your co-parent
was Christine. Why?
548
00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:59,068
Because Kody,
you were never available.
549
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,068
- Never been available.
- That is such a lie.
550
00:22:01,068 --> 00:22:02,655
- That is such an excuse.
- Favoritism...
Okay...
551
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,275
That's every excuse
every polygamous woman
552
00:22:05,275 --> 00:22:07,965
that finds
a problem with it, makes.
553
00:22:07,965 --> 00:22:09,896
- And it's bull
- Wild to me,
554
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:12,068
because Robyn's so perfect?
555
00:22:12,068 --> 00:22:14,103
When did I say
that she was perfect?
556
00:22:14,103 --> 00:22:16,965
You're jealous.
You're bringing her
into something
557
00:22:16,965 --> 00:22:19,000
that isn't hers to be owned.
558
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,379
You made this about
way bigger than COVID.
559
00:22:21,379 --> 00:22:23,896
- You made this about... No.
- No, the boys
made this about Robyn.
560
00:22:23,896 --> 00:22:26,068
That's the only reason
she got brought in.
561
00:22:27,586 --> 00:22:30,172
I don't think you've ever
admitted your culpability
562
00:22:30,172 --> 00:22:32,379
- in the problems
in this family.
- This is wild to me
563
00:22:32,379 --> 00:22:34,103
that you're blaming me
for this.
564
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,448
- You're the one--
- I'm not blaming you
for everything...
565
00:22:35,448 --> 00:22:38,103
- You are the one--
- ...but all I needed was, uh,
566
00:22:38,103 --> 00:22:39,655
- your back.
- You are the one...
567
00:22:39,655 --> 00:22:42,344
- You backing me up.
- ...who said the boys
cannot come
568
00:22:42,344 --> 00:22:44,068
until they apologize.
569
00:22:44,068 --> 00:22:45,344
And I corrected that.
570
00:22:45,344 --> 00:22:47,379
- And you're not listening...
Stop!
- And you said to me--
571
00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:49,275
- Stop that. I corrected that.
- No, you listen to me.
572
00:22:49,275 --> 00:22:51,172
- You listen to me.
- I even apologized
573
00:22:51,172 --> 00:22:52,758
- for that.
- No, you did not.
574
00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:53,965
Yes, I did.
575
00:22:53,965 --> 00:22:55,344
- No, you did not.
- Yes...
576
00:22:55,344 --> 00:22:57,758
Four weeks ago,
I apologized for that...
577
00:22:57,758 --> 00:22:59,862
- No, you said--
- ...I said, we need
to get together
578
00:22:59,862 --> 00:23:02,000
and all it is
is about talking with them.
579
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,758
- No--
- It's not about
them apologizing.
580
00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:07,413
No, you said, "Oh.
Well, that's after I'd already
made my plans."
581
00:23:08,586 --> 00:23:11,000
And you're like,
"Oh, well, I guess that was
a conversation
582
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,827
I had with you
a couple times.
583
00:23:14,586 --> 00:23:16,862
So, I can see
where you thought that."
584
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,689
I feel like...
I feel like I'm being gaslit.
585
00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:21,379
I mean, totally,
you say something--
586
00:23:21,379 --> 00:23:23,103
You're using that
because I used the term.
587
00:23:23,103 --> 00:23:24,482
- Now you're just
excusing yourself.
- Oh, I came into this
588
00:23:24,482 --> 00:23:26,862
conversation expecting
to use that term.
589
00:23:26,862 --> 00:23:29,931
'Cause I feel like
you're constantly
gaslighting me.
590
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,103
Janelle...
591
00:23:32,103 --> 00:23:33,586
Okay.
592
00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:35,551
There's a problem
in the family.
593
00:23:35,551 --> 00:23:38,689
A problem
that needs to be solved
and everything's too hot now.
594
00:23:38,689 --> 00:23:41,344
And everybody thinks
that I'm the bad guy.
595
00:23:41,793 --> 00:23:43,827
And so, um...
596
00:23:45,965 --> 00:23:47,793
I don't expect to see
anybody at Christmas.
597
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:49,655
I don't expect to see you.
598
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,551
Um...
599
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000
You have cheated me out
of my contact with my family,
600
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,482
- because--
- It is not my fault.
601
00:23:59,482 --> 00:24:01,068
You asked them.
602
00:24:01,068 --> 00:24:03,068
You asked them, Kody.
603
00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:05,379
I have not done anything.
604
00:24:05,379 --> 00:24:07,172
You ask them
who they blame.
605
00:24:07,172 --> 00:24:09,000
Well, they blame me,
because you do.
606
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,448
I do not.
607
00:24:11,655 --> 00:24:13,758
- I...
- Janelle, I saw you
right there,
608
00:24:13,758 --> 00:24:15,000
mock my rules.
609
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,862
Well, and I've seen you
tell me...
610
00:24:16,862 --> 00:24:18,482
call me all kinds of names.
611
00:24:18,482 --> 00:24:20,482
What? That you're lazy
about the rules?
612
00:24:20,482 --> 00:24:22,758
That you
won't accept accountability?
613
00:24:22,758 --> 00:24:24,275
Kody, in the very beginning
614
00:24:24,275 --> 00:24:26,586
- I kept-- Listen to me.
- No, no. No, you make
the same excuse forever.
615
00:24:26,586 --> 00:24:28,379
- But I've--
- Shut your [bleep] mouth
616
00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:31,172
- and let me talk to you
for a minute.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
617
00:24:31,172 --> 00:24:33,758
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
- You won't...
You keep cutting me off.
618
00:24:33,758 --> 00:24:35,655
You keep cutting me off.
619
00:24:35,655 --> 00:24:38,379
There is no interest
in understanding
each other here.
620
00:24:38,379 --> 00:24:40,862
There is no interest
in understanding.
621
00:24:40,862 --> 00:24:42,758
There is only a bitterness
622
00:24:42,758 --> 00:24:44,758
that has no place.
623
00:24:47,482 --> 00:24:50,344
I don't expect you
to back me up anymore.
624
00:24:50,344 --> 00:24:53,379
I'm not gonna look for it.
I'm not gonna ask for it.
625
00:24:53,379 --> 00:24:56,655
I don't expect you
to try and help us
626
00:24:56,655 --> 00:24:58,655
co-parent the kids.
627
00:24:58,655 --> 00:25:00,758
- That's too late.
We're never going to do that.
- This is not--
628
00:25:00,758 --> 00:25:03,482
- So what partnership
do we have?
- This is not
629
00:25:03,482 --> 00:25:04,862
only me, Kody.
630
00:25:04,862 --> 00:25:06,724
Don't you dare
point your finger at me.
631
00:25:07,379 --> 00:25:08,965
I've been here...
632
00:25:09,862 --> 00:25:11,965
daylong, in and out,
633
00:25:11,965 --> 00:25:14,172
for all these years
without your support
634
00:25:14,172 --> 00:25:17,344
while you were deciding
what you were doing
without consulting me.
635
00:25:17,344 --> 00:25:18,758
You know what?
Let me tell you what.
636
00:25:18,758 --> 00:25:21,448
- No, I'm done
listening to you.
- No, you stay and talk.
637
00:25:21,448 --> 00:25:23,896
- You stay and talk.
- Uh, no.
638
00:25:23,896 --> 00:25:25,172
I'm not going to,
639
00:25:25,172 --> 00:25:27,862
- because you're not listening.
- You're not listening to me.
640
00:25:27,862 --> 00:25:29,103
And I'm not going to.
641
00:25:29,103 --> 00:25:30,448
- Okay,
so we're done?
- Goodbye.
642
00:25:30,448 --> 00:25:31,827
you.
643
00:25:34,862 --> 00:25:36,758
Shut it off.
644
00:25:38,655 --> 00:25:40,172
I'm cutting cameras.
645
00:25:51,655 --> 00:25:53,620
So, Kody just left.
646
00:25:57,896 --> 00:26:01,655
I got into this conversation
wanting to keep it logical,
647
00:26:01,655 --> 00:26:04,172
and I figured we would
take this step-by-step.
648
00:26:04,172 --> 00:26:07,551
But really, truly,
I don't think he...
649
00:26:07,551 --> 00:26:09,551
He's looking for an excuse.
650
00:26:10,689 --> 00:26:12,655
We were throwing accusations
at each other
651
00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:13,862
about what's going on,
652
00:26:13,862 --> 00:26:15,482
and it was shocking.
653
00:26:15,482 --> 00:26:17,655
Like, it was shocking.
I was...
654
00:26:17,655 --> 00:26:19,482
I was really upset
when he left
655
00:26:19,482 --> 00:26:22,000
'cause it feels like
there is a finality to it,
656
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,517
and now I'm worried about
what happens to me.
657
00:26:26,448 --> 00:26:29,655
Moving forward,
do I live here? Do I build?
658
00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:34,172
It feels like Kody and I are
no longer gonna be a couple.
659
00:26:34,172 --> 00:26:36,379
It really does.
It was that dramatic.
660
00:26:36,379 --> 00:26:39,000
There had been
so much build up and then,
661
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,379
not so much the words,
662
00:26:40,379 --> 00:26:41,896
yes, the words
were very harsh,
663
00:26:41,896 --> 00:26:44,482
but just the feeling was like,
"We're done."
664
00:26:44,482 --> 00:26:46,068
You keep cutting me off.
665
00:26:46,068 --> 00:26:49,068
There is no interest
in understanding
each other here.
666
00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,896
There is only a bitterness
667
00:26:50,896 --> 00:26:52,862
that has no place.
668
00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:56,448
It took me about a half hour
to kinda overcome the shock
of the conversation.
669
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,172
And I called him and I said,
"Come get your stuff."
670
00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:01,965
So in my mind
he is out-of-bounds.
671
00:27:04,758 --> 00:27:07,862
My faith,
my religious beliefs,
my spiritual beliefs
672
00:27:07,862 --> 00:27:12,827
don't really allow
for you to just walk away
'cause things are hard.
673
00:27:14,241 --> 00:27:16,724
I don't really wanna see him.
674
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,551
I know that he does feel
the responsibility.
675
00:27:21,551 --> 00:27:24,241
He feels like
he can't leave a wife
676
00:27:24,241 --> 00:27:27,103
'cause it's bad on his... him,
677
00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:29,103
if he leaves a wife
high and dry.
678
00:27:29,103 --> 00:27:31,551
Like, says,
I'm no longer married to you.
679
00:27:32,172 --> 00:27:34,482
And so,
his pattern seems to be
680
00:27:34,482 --> 00:27:38,103
that he just sort of
ignores that person,
ignores that person.
681
00:27:38,103 --> 00:27:40,793
It feels like
he wants you to say it's over
682
00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:42,482
'cause he doesn't want
the responsibility
683
00:27:42,482 --> 00:27:47,000
of being the husband who says
I don't want to married
to you anymore.
684
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,655
- No, I'm done
listening to you.
- No, you stay and talk.
685
00:27:49,655 --> 00:27:52,275
- You stay and talk.
- Uh, no.
686
00:27:52,275 --> 00:27:53,655
I'm not going to,
687
00:27:53,655 --> 00:27:56,241
- because you're not listening.
- You're not listening to me.
688
00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:57,551
And I'm not going to.
689
00:27:57,551 --> 00:27:58,793
- Okay,
so we're done?
- Goodbye.
690
00:27:58,793 --> 00:28:01,000
[bleep] you.
691
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,000
So, after I kinda got over
the shock after Kody left,
692
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,448
I thought,
693
00:28:05,448 --> 00:28:06,862
Oh, my heck.
694
00:28:06,862 --> 00:28:09,862
Like, I have nothing, financially.
695
00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:12,172
I am tied up in this property.
696
00:28:12,172 --> 00:28:15,068
Everything, as far as
my estate goes...
697
00:28:16,758 --> 00:28:19,275
Any kind of savings,
money, anything,
698
00:28:19,275 --> 00:28:20,896
is tied up in this property.
699
00:28:20,896 --> 00:28:22,275
I am a smart woman
700
00:28:22,275 --> 00:28:24,103
and I have done
this very dumb thing.
701
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:26,344
I trusted
in this family structure
702
00:28:26,344 --> 00:28:28,482
but now I'm really stuck.
703
00:28:28,482 --> 00:28:31,275
And I feel like,
oh, my hell, I'm 50,
704
00:28:31,275 --> 00:28:33,862
and I have nothing.
705
00:28:33,862 --> 00:28:36,241
We moved to Flagstaff
and we bought this property.
706
00:28:36,241 --> 00:28:38,103
We had a vision
we would all build on it.
707
00:28:38,103 --> 00:28:40,689
And the way we were able
to buy it
708
00:28:40,689 --> 00:28:42,896
is we paid a...
mostly cash for it.
709
00:28:42,896 --> 00:28:45,068
But then, we had to take
a private mortgage
710
00:28:45,068 --> 00:28:47,862
on a portion of it
that we just didn't have
the cash for.
711
00:28:47,862 --> 00:28:50,896
If we do not pay it off
we're in jeopardy
of losing the land
712
00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:52,551
just like any other mortgage.
713
00:28:52,551 --> 00:28:55,103
And Kody just
sticks his head in the sand.
714
00:28:55,103 --> 00:28:57,172
Well, look, he's sitting
on property with Robyn.
715
00:28:57,172 --> 00:28:58,758
It's four acres and a house.
716
00:28:58,758 --> 00:29:00,172
Like, no, he doesn't care.
717
00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:01,862
So, sure,
Robyn and I have a home.
718
00:29:01,862 --> 00:29:03,172
We have to house our children.
719
00:29:03,172 --> 00:29:04,862
I tried to help Janelle
buy a house.
720
00:29:04,862 --> 00:29:06,379
I tried to talk her
into buying a house.
721
00:29:06,379 --> 00:29:07,586
We had the means to do that.
722
00:29:07,586 --> 00:29:09,379
She has ownership
in Coyote Pass,
723
00:29:09,379 --> 00:29:10,655
and she had
the same opportunities
724
00:29:10,655 --> 00:29:11,793
everybody else did.
725
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:13,896
But she's got just as
many assets as the rest of us.
726
00:29:13,896 --> 00:29:15,655
I don't know
what's next.
727
00:29:15,655 --> 00:29:19,172
And now, I'm sort of in shock
and I'm trying to figure out
what the heck I'm gonna do.
728
00:29:19,172 --> 00:29:22,172
I mean, there's a few people
I could talk to about this,
729
00:29:22,172 --> 00:29:24,000
like Madi and Christine.
730
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,965
I don't even know
what I think yet.
731
00:29:30,379 --> 00:29:32,068
This Christmas
is just a
732
00:29:32,068 --> 00:29:35,344
big indication of how split-up
our family really, really is.
733
00:29:35,344 --> 00:29:37,068
This is the first Christmas
734
00:29:37,551 --> 00:29:40,000
in, gosh, 27 years,
735
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,862
that we're
going to be separated.
736
00:29:41,862 --> 00:29:44,000
Janelle is not doing Christmas
with everybody.
737
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
She's gonna be doing Christmas
with her kids.
738
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,482
In Flagstaff, still.
But in a rental house.
739
00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:51,655
I'm super grateful
couple days after Christmas
we're gonna go to Flagstaff.
740
00:29:51,655 --> 00:29:55,758
I need to be
around them so badly.
I miss them like crazy.
741
00:29:55,758 --> 00:29:57,379
- Yeah.
- How's it going?
742
00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:59,068
Garrison, hi, love.
743
00:29:59,068 --> 00:30:00,862
How do I turn this?
744
00:30:00,862 --> 00:30:02,655
Garrison,
Janelle's biological son,
745
00:30:02,655 --> 00:30:04,000
but really my son, you know.
746
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,586
He told me
that he's gonna have dinner
747
00:30:06,586 --> 00:30:07,758
at his girlfriend's house.
748
00:30:07,758 --> 00:30:10,551
So, he's like,
"Can you please
help me make rolls?"
749
00:30:10,551 --> 00:30:12,551
Do you want
to follow the instructions
750
00:30:12,551 --> 00:30:14,241
and then just ask me questions
751
00:30:14,241 --> 00:30:16,758
or do you want to have me
tell you what to do?
752
00:30:16,758 --> 00:30:18,689
It's better if you tell me
what to do.
753
00:30:18,689 --> 00:30:20,689
I have been
making these rolls forever.
754
00:30:20,689 --> 00:30:22,482
It's a crazy honor.
I'm so excited.
755
00:30:22,482 --> 00:30:25,862
Well, I used to do 'em by hand
and grandma Janelle
still does them by hand.
756
00:30:25,862 --> 00:30:29,000
This is grandma Janelle's
recipe so you're just gonna do
like grandma Janelle.
757
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,689
My mom's and, uh,
Christine's kids have always
been very, very close.
758
00:30:32,689 --> 00:30:35,655
Christine would stay at home
and kinda do all the cooking
and stuff
759
00:30:35,655 --> 00:30:37,000
and then, uh,
my mom would al...
760
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,172
was always,
almost always working.
761
00:30:39,172 --> 00:30:42,379
Christine and my mom's kids
have all kinda had...
still had a bond.
762
00:30:42,379 --> 00:30:44,172
And despite
everything that's going on,
763
00:30:44,172 --> 00:30:48,000
we all still, you know,
cherish that relationship
that we have, so...
764
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,103
Okay. So put one cup of butter
and then two cups of milk.
765
00:30:51,103 --> 00:30:53,103
So, one cup of butter
into that pot
766
00:30:53,103 --> 00:30:55,448
- and start melting the butter.
- Okay.
767
00:30:55,448 --> 00:30:58,379
Janelle has always been super,
super generous with her kids.
768
00:30:58,379 --> 00:31:02,000
I have been involved
in all of the big things
769
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,551
in Janelle's kids' life.
770
00:31:03,551 --> 00:31:06,448
And, so, when I left,
and I left Flagstaff
771
00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,275
I was leaving them all behind.
772
00:31:08,275 --> 00:31:10,068
Okay, Garrison,
that's plenty. Stop.
773
00:31:10,068 --> 00:31:11,793
- It's not a circle, yet, so...
- [Christine] Huh?
774
00:31:11,793 --> 00:31:14,275
- It's not a circle.
- No, you don't need anymore. Stop.
775
00:31:14,275 --> 00:31:16,344
- Okay.
- You'll overwork the dough.
776
00:31:16,344 --> 00:31:18,896
Yeah, I mean,
Garrison calling,
needing my help
777
00:31:18,896 --> 00:31:20,068
was just confirmation,
778
00:31:20,068 --> 00:31:22,482
even though
I've left their dad,
779
00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:25,172
um, I'm still gonna be
in their lives.
780
00:31:25,172 --> 00:31:27,551
And that's
what I was hoping for.
781
00:31:27,551 --> 00:31:29,482
- How's that?
- There you go, Garrison.
You're set.
782
00:31:29,482 --> 00:31:31,551
It does not look
as good as yours, but...
783
00:31:31,551 --> 00:31:33,275
They look wonderful.
784
00:31:33,275 --> 00:31:34,758
Janelle and I
are getting together
785
00:31:34,758 --> 00:31:36,482
for a couple of days
after Christmas.
786
00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:38,758
So, all of the traditions
that we would...
787
00:31:38,758 --> 00:31:41,655
we would usually do
for those couple of days
around Christmas,
788
00:31:41,655 --> 00:31:42,793
we're gonna do them.
789
00:31:42,793 --> 00:31:44,862
We're gonna do them all
in those couple of days.
790
00:31:44,862 --> 00:31:47,793
So excited.
We're gonna hang on
to that tradition.
791
00:31:47,793 --> 00:31:50,448
It's super important to have
those couple of days together.
792
00:31:53,172 --> 00:31:55,241
We yelled at each other.
793
00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:56,758
- You guys
yelled at each other?
- Yeah, we...
794
00:31:56,758 --> 00:31:59,068
We threw rocks at glasshouses.
795
00:32:00,068 --> 00:32:02,758
It's tense and awkward
and weird.
796
00:32:13,275 --> 00:32:14,793
So, I just left
Janelle's house
797
00:32:14,793 --> 00:32:16,551
and we just had a big blow up.
798
00:32:21,793 --> 00:32:23,793
- How's it going, Meri?
- Good. How are you?
799
00:32:23,793 --> 00:32:25,655
Mmm. All right.
800
00:32:25,655 --> 00:32:27,379
I think we've only had
a fight like this, maybe,
801
00:32:27,379 --> 00:32:28,793
five times in our lives.
802
00:32:28,793 --> 00:32:30,586
Pretty intense.
803
00:32:30,586 --> 00:32:31,793
But I'm headed over to Meri's
804
00:32:31,793 --> 00:32:34,965
'cause I already had plans
to go to talk to her.
805
00:32:36,551 --> 00:32:38,724
Wow,
you guys seem like...
806
00:32:42,275 --> 00:32:44,275
I'm okay.
807
00:32:44,275 --> 00:32:47,827
It's a weird place
to be coming to that meeting
from this.
808
00:32:48,689 --> 00:32:51,172
- You better talk about--
- Holiday seasons.
809
00:32:51,172 --> 00:32:53,551
Christmas, I guess.
810
00:32:53,551 --> 00:32:55,620
I don't know
what there is to talk about.
811
00:32:56,448 --> 00:32:57,793
What's Janelle doing?
812
00:32:57,793 --> 00:33:01,482
Janelle and Christine
have rented
a short-term rental.
813
00:33:01,482 --> 00:33:04,379
I thought
Christine wasn't coming
until after Christmas.
814
00:33:04,379 --> 00:33:06,068
- She's not.
- Yeah, she's not
until after Christmas.
815
00:33:06,068 --> 00:33:10,172
I think they're trying
to shut me out because
they're mad at me.
816
00:33:10,172 --> 00:33:12,793
It's... it's weird.
They're being weird right now.
817
00:33:12,793 --> 00:33:14,379
What is going on?
It's like,
818
00:33:14,379 --> 00:33:15,551
"All right, guys.
It's Christmas.
819
00:33:15,551 --> 00:33:18,448
It's supposed to be fun
and happy and joyful."
820
00:33:18,448 --> 00:33:20,172
Is Janelle not coming over
821
00:33:20,172 --> 00:33:22,448
with the kids on Christmas?
822
00:33:22,448 --> 00:33:23,655
No.
823
00:33:23,655 --> 00:33:25,655
- She said she's not?
- Really?
824
00:33:25,655 --> 00:33:28,448
Well, no,
we're not getting together.
825
00:33:28,448 --> 00:33:30,551
I thought
you were talking to her
about this and stuff.
826
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:32,448
Oh, no, we didn't talk.
827
00:33:32,448 --> 00:33:35,000
- Oh, I thought--
- We yelled at each other.
828
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,448
- You guys
yelled at each other?
- Yeah, we...
829
00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:39,241
we threw rocks at glasshouses.
830
00:33:39,241 --> 00:33:41,655
It's scary 'cause like,
what does this mean?
831
00:33:41,655 --> 00:33:44,103
And it sounds like
the issues that we're having
832
00:33:44,103 --> 00:33:46,344
about Christmas
are just getting worse.
833
00:33:47,551 --> 00:33:49,689
You guys were just yelling
at each other?
834
00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:52,172
- Pretty much.
I don't even know...
- About what?
835
00:33:52,172 --> 00:33:54,344
- What I was yelling.
- What were you
yelling about?
836
00:33:54,344 --> 00:33:55,862
That's always dangerous
837
00:33:55,862 --> 00:33:57,448
- when you have no idea
what you're yelling.
- Well, everybody's...
838
00:33:57,448 --> 00:33:59,137
It's about the...
it's the blame game.
839
00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:01,137
It's the big blame game about
840
00:34:01,137 --> 00:34:05,172
who's responsible
for our family splitting up
over COVID.
841
00:34:05,172 --> 00:34:07,655
I... Listen, I don't know...
842
00:34:08,551 --> 00:34:11,413
Like... the boys
aren't talking to me.
843
00:34:12,103 --> 00:34:13,655
Have you tried?
844
00:34:13,655 --> 00:34:17,896
Um, yeah, I've reached out to,
basically, everybody.
845
00:34:17,896 --> 00:34:21,000
They're making up stories
in their mind 'cause
they're not talking to me.
846
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,551
So, everybody's got a story
about how Dad's a bad guy.
847
00:34:24,551 --> 00:34:27,793
But, just, we're just having
two groups of Christmas.
848
00:34:27,793 --> 00:34:30,172
And, listen, I was threatening
to do this last Christmas.
849
00:34:30,172 --> 00:34:33,068
Well, no.
Christine's not gonna be here
for Christmas.
850
00:34:33,793 --> 00:34:35,758
So, that's not two groups.
851
00:34:35,758 --> 00:34:37,482
She's getting together
with Janelle.
852
00:34:37,482 --> 00:34:38,896
- After Christmas.
- Well, after, you said.
853
00:34:38,896 --> 00:34:40,344
- Yeah, well.
- After Christmas.
854
00:34:41,275 --> 00:34:44,793
The fact that
our family is not all together
855
00:34:44,793 --> 00:34:47,448
and all getting along and
doing Christmas together
856
00:34:47,448 --> 00:34:50,137
this year, is really weird.
857
00:34:50,137 --> 00:34:54,551
Maybe it'd just be easier
for me to hole up in my house
858
00:34:54,551 --> 00:34:57,655
and not be around.
I don't know. It's just...
859
00:34:57,655 --> 00:35:00,551
It's tense and awkward
and weird.
860
00:35:00,551 --> 00:35:03,793
What I gathered
from the things Janelle
was throwing at me,
861
00:35:03,793 --> 00:35:06,724
is that everybody's sort of
making up a story...
862
00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,379
about me,
863
00:35:08,379 --> 00:35:10,793
and they're talking
to each other about it
864
00:35:10,793 --> 00:35:13,103
but they're not talking to me
about it.
865
00:35:13,103 --> 00:35:15,275
And now,
they're all mad at me.
866
00:35:15,275 --> 00:35:18,551
She was saying
that she wasn't gonna be
the in-between.
867
00:35:18,551 --> 00:35:21,689
Well, I wish she wouldn't be,
but she's...
868
00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:23,793
she's colluding with them.
869
00:35:23,793 --> 00:35:25,344
Do you think
she's colluding with them?
870
00:35:25,344 --> 00:35:27,344
Absolutely.
871
00:35:27,344 --> 00:35:29,000
Kody feels pretty angry.
872
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,965
And whenever you're angry,
you're not gonna see
873
00:35:32,379 --> 00:35:34,275
any other perspective.
874
00:35:34,275 --> 00:35:35,586
You've got blinders on.
875
00:35:35,586 --> 00:35:38,551
But, playing devil's advocate,
maybe Janelle's not colluding.
876
00:35:38,551 --> 00:35:40,896
I mean,
when you use the word collude,
877
00:35:40,896 --> 00:35:45,896
and when Kody uses it, like,
it means everybody is banding
up against him.
878
00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:49,448
And, maybe she's not
doing that.
879
00:35:49,448 --> 00:35:52,000
Christine and Janelle
are doing everything they can
880
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,482
to make it so I'm not
the head of the family,
which is fine.
881
00:35:54,482 --> 00:35:59,275
Basically, I became the head
of mine and my kids' family
out of necessity.
882
00:35:59,275 --> 00:36:01,655
I was the one
that my kids would listen to
883
00:36:01,655 --> 00:36:03,655
and I was the one
my kids talked to.
884
00:36:03,655 --> 00:36:08,482
And if they needed
to feel love or security or...
885
00:36:08,482 --> 00:36:11,068
acceptance,
they got that from me.
886
00:36:11,068 --> 00:36:14,448
So, it's more like,
well, what are we gonna do
for Christmas?
887
00:36:16,793 --> 00:36:18,655
So, you know,
888
00:36:18,655 --> 00:36:20,103
I guess
we do Christmas Eve here
889
00:36:20,103 --> 00:36:22,172
and then Christmas morning
at Robyn's house?
890
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,448
As long as you guys
are cool with it.
891
00:36:25,448 --> 00:36:30,137
So, Christmas Eve has always
just been kind of
a fun tradition for me.
892
00:36:30,137 --> 00:36:32,275
Hold up your present.
893
00:36:32,275 --> 00:36:33,758
Are you excited?
894
00:36:33,758 --> 00:36:35,379
Yeah!
895
00:36:35,379 --> 00:36:38,551
One, two, three, go.
896
00:36:43,068 --> 00:36:45,000
I always hosted but
897
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,379
I also give all the kids
Christmas jammies.
898
00:36:48,379 --> 00:36:50,482
I used to make them
when they were younger
899
00:36:50,482 --> 00:36:52,620
and there weren't
quite so many children.
900
00:36:57,758 --> 00:37:01,448
You know, for me,
Christmas over the last
few years has changed a lot.
901
00:37:01,448 --> 00:37:05,172
There's less magic.
902
00:37:05,172 --> 00:37:08,000
And I don't know if
it's the state of the family,
903
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,379
the state
of the relationships...
904
00:37:10,379 --> 00:37:12,655
and that makes me sad,
you know.
905
00:37:12,655 --> 00:37:16,413
I need to make my own magic
for Christmas, I think.
906
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:19,241
And then,
do I, like, invite...
907
00:37:20,137 --> 00:37:22,689
Janelle and the kids
that are around,
908
00:37:22,689 --> 00:37:24,655
or do I not?
909
00:37:24,655 --> 00:37:27,379
How do you wanna do it, Meri?
How do you wanna do
Christmas Eve?
910
00:37:27,379 --> 00:37:30,172
I don't know, Kody.
I have no idea.
911
00:37:31,551 --> 00:37:34,448
Like, I feel like
I'm completely stuck
in the middle.
912
00:37:34,448 --> 00:37:35,551
Let's be real.
913
00:37:35,551 --> 00:37:39,379
I am in this place where...
914
00:37:39,379 --> 00:37:41,379
not saying this to be a jerk,
915
00:37:41,379 --> 00:37:44,724
I'm not saying anything,
I'm just saying how I...
916
00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:48,068
- This is just what it is.
- Yeah.
917
00:37:48,068 --> 00:37:50,551
Like, you've got Christine,
who left.
918
00:37:50,551 --> 00:37:53,172
You've got Janelle
that you're at odds with.
919
00:37:53,172 --> 00:37:56,344
I'm like the third wheel
'cause I'm...
920
00:37:56,655 --> 00:37:58,551
just here.
921
00:37:58,551 --> 00:38:00,896
I don't know what to do.
922
00:38:00,896 --> 00:38:03,896
Like, I don't know.
Do I call them and
have them come over
923
00:38:03,896 --> 00:38:06,241
when you guys are all at odds?
924
00:38:06,241 --> 00:38:08,448
- That sounds scary.
- Is that...
925
00:38:08,448 --> 00:38:09,758
If I could have
my Christmas wish,
926
00:38:09,758 --> 00:38:11,482
Kody and the boys
would get this figured out
927
00:38:11,482 --> 00:38:12,896
and we could have
Christmas together.
928
00:38:12,896 --> 00:38:14,655
Do I think it's gonna work
929
00:38:14,655 --> 00:38:17,896
for them to get together on
Christmas Eve without talking?
930
00:38:17,896 --> 00:38:19,551
No, I think
there's gonna be a fight
931
00:38:19,551 --> 00:38:20,896
and that's what I think
is scary.
932
00:38:20,896 --> 00:38:24,896
I feel like I'm sitting here
doing the very best that I can
933
00:38:24,896 --> 00:38:26,448
- to...
- I get it.
934
00:38:26,448 --> 00:38:27,896
...you know, like,
935
00:38:27,896 --> 00:38:29,896
be the family,
be in the family,
936
00:38:29,896 --> 00:38:32,344
be part of the family,
do what the family's,
937
00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:34,655
you know, doing.
938
00:38:34,655 --> 00:38:38,551
Honestly, I feel like
I've been put in a really
awkward position.
939
00:38:38,551 --> 00:38:42,379
I'm not in the Kody and Robyn
married club.
940
00:38:42,379 --> 00:38:45,586
I'm not in the Janelle
and Christine friend club.
941
00:38:45,586 --> 00:38:47,793
If I had my way,
942
00:38:47,793 --> 00:38:50,724
the family would all
get together and be together.
943
00:38:52,137 --> 00:38:55,172
I don't...
I don't know what to do.
944
00:38:55,172 --> 00:38:58,137
If I go over to Robyn
and Kody's for Christmas,
945
00:38:58,137 --> 00:39:01,103
it's, I am going over
to Robyn and Kody's
for Christmas.
946
00:39:01,103 --> 00:39:02,793
If they were
to come over to my house
947
00:39:02,793 --> 00:39:05,000
they'd be coming
to Meri's house.
948
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,827
Not Meri and Kody's house...
949
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,448
They'd be coming
to Meri's house.
950
00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:11,172
You see the difference?
951
00:39:11,172 --> 00:39:12,896
I'm trying
to figure out, like,
952
00:39:12,896 --> 00:39:15,965
could you be
around everybody and...
953
00:39:16,379 --> 00:39:18,482
Like, 'cause...
954
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:23,068
'Cause last year
you were struggling with that.
955
00:39:23,068 --> 00:39:25,551
Like, you were struggling
because of what had
just happened with the boys.
956
00:39:25,551 --> 00:39:29,172
No, I would rather
just be around people
who really wanna be around me.
957
00:39:29,172 --> 00:39:31,448
- It could get ugly
if everybody came.
- It could get ugly.
958
00:39:31,448 --> 00:39:33,793
I don't know.
I can't speak to Janelle now.
959
00:39:33,793 --> 00:39:36,655
I mean, it's just,
we've crossed the line.
960
00:39:36,655 --> 00:39:39,896
- I have no idea when we're--
- You just call her up
or you go over
961
00:39:39,896 --> 00:39:42,103
- and you say let's talk.
- No, I'm not interested
in that.
962
00:39:42,103 --> 00:39:43,793
It's just like...
963
00:39:43,793 --> 00:39:45,758
- I'm just... I'm just--
- ...there has to be a time
964
00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:48,551
when we go long enough
to where we can
look at each other
965
00:39:48,551 --> 00:39:50,551
and actually
have a conversation.
966
00:39:50,551 --> 00:39:53,793
Janelle and I need to sit down
in a space
967
00:39:53,793 --> 00:39:56,517
and talk about what we want
in our lives.
968
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:01,413
'Cause I'm not sure
she wants me in hers.
969
00:40:02,172 --> 00:40:04,241
So, are you
970
00:40:04,241 --> 00:40:06,827
going to invite everybody?
971
00:40:11,379 --> 00:40:12,827
Probably not.
972
00:40:13,689 --> 00:40:15,793
You know,
I'm in this situation,
973
00:40:15,793 --> 00:40:18,241
I feel like,
in the family where...
974
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,344
Not even in the family,
like, just...
975
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,137
people, in general, I think,
976
00:40:25,137 --> 00:40:29,172
feel like... that I am
here picking sides.
977
00:40:29,172 --> 00:40:33,482
If it happens to be
that I do Christmas
with Kody and Robyn
978
00:40:33,482 --> 00:40:36,896
that means that
Kody and Robyn are interested
in having me around.
979
00:40:36,896 --> 00:40:38,448
That's what that means.
980
00:40:38,448 --> 00:40:41,827
That doesn't mean that there's
any sides being chosen.
981
00:40:48,758 --> 00:40:51,862
I just wanna run away
from everybody who's
982
00:40:52,758 --> 00:40:54,862
been so uncool about...
983
00:40:55,896 --> 00:40:59,896
um, what I tried to do
to protect the family.
984
00:40:59,896 --> 00:41:04,172
And they're all like,
"No, you weren't trying
to protect us."
985
00:41:04,172 --> 00:41:07,137
I'm like, well,
I tried to protect everybody
986
00:41:07,137 --> 00:41:09,517
but some people
don't want to do that.
987
00:41:10,896 --> 00:41:12,862
Nobody feels safe.
988
00:41:13,758 --> 00:41:16,172
Nobody feels like the can be
989
00:41:16,172 --> 00:41:18,896
with another person
without being,
990
00:41:18,896 --> 00:41:21,172
uh, just triggered, constantly.
991
00:41:21,172 --> 00:41:24,896
And that's a weird thing to be
because with normal people,
they can [bleep] talk me.
992
00:41:24,896 --> 00:41:28,000
And I'm gonna be like,
"Well, screw you.
I'm getting away from you."
993
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,379
But with your family,
it triggers you.
There's like...
994
00:41:31,379 --> 00:41:35,482
There's this feeling that
we've all been done wrong.
995
00:41:35,482 --> 00:41:38,034
The flames are on the bridge.
996
00:41:38,241 --> 00:41:40,172
And, uh...
997
00:41:40,172 --> 00:41:43,344
I think most of us
are just kinda walking away
from the bridge
998
00:41:44,172 --> 00:41:46,758
wondering if the bridge
is strong enough to...
999
00:41:46,758 --> 00:41:50,344
to hold up or if the...
or if it's gonna burn down.
1000
00:41:52,896 --> 00:41:56,448
Next time on
Sister Wives...
1001
00:41:56,448 --> 00:41:59,793
This is the first year
that I'll be doing
Christmas separate.
1002
00:41:59,793 --> 00:42:02,068
Janelle's doing
Christmas separate, too.
1003
00:42:02,068 --> 00:42:03,413
Merry Christmas.
1004
00:42:06,482 --> 00:42:09,172
I really don't
expect that we'll see Kody.
1005
00:42:09,172 --> 00:42:11,896
It's been a week and a half
and he hasn't said a thing
1006
00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:14,000
or called or texted Savanah.
1007
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,137
We were one big family and now
we're kind of separate.
1008
00:42:18,137 --> 00:42:20,000
- Come in. How's it going?
- Hey, man.
1009
00:42:21,344 --> 00:42:23,551
You get in this place
where it's like, "Well,
1010
00:42:23,551 --> 00:42:26,448
I should just be the devil
I think I am now."
1011
00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:31,655
We can deny it to ourselves,
but, uh,
1012
00:42:31,655 --> 00:42:33,551
Robyn's in for a ride
1013
00:42:33,551 --> 00:42:36,551
and any of the other wives
that stay with him.