1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,000 [narrator] Previously on Sister Wives... 2 00:00:03,033 --> 00:00:06,100 [Robyn] You better talk about Christmas, I guess. 3 00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,733 [Kody] I don't know what there is to talk about. 4 00:00:07,767 --> 00:00:08,933 [Robyn] Well... 5 00:00:10,233 --> 00:00:12,400 Is Janelle not coming over on Christmas? 6 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,700 No. 7 00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,667 It's weird, I don't know what's going on. 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,833 No, you make this excuse forever. 9 00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:20,667 -But I-- -Shut your [bleep] mouth 10 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:21,867 and let me talk to you for a minute. 11 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,500 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 12 00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:24,833 You know what, let me tell you what. 13 00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:26,000 [both] No. 14 00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:27,633 -You stay and talk. -[Koby] I'm done listening to you. 15 00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:29,100 -Okay, so we're done? -[Kody] Goodbye. 16 00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:29,867 [bleep] you. 17 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,333 [Robyn] I thought you were talking to her about this and stuff. 18 00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:40,933 [Kody] Oh, no, we didn't talk. 19 00:00:40,967 --> 00:00:43,800 So, no, we're not doing Christmas together. 20 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:44,967 [sighs] 21 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,567 [Janelle] He doesn't want the responsibility 22 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,700 of being the husband who says, 23 00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:50,933 "I don't want to be married to you anymore." 24 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,300 I don't know if I have to get a lawyer, 25 00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:53,133 I don't know. 26 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,967 [Kody] Janelle and I got in a fight ten days ago. 27 00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:32,333 And I just triggered over and over and over. 28 00:01:32,366 --> 00:01:33,967 Just trigger, trigger, trigger. 29 00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:36,467 I might not have been right, but I was angry as hell. 30 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,567 I haven't talked to her since. 31 00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:40,633 I don't know when I'm gonna talk to her. 32 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,167 [Janelle] I know what he said to me. 33 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,433 I know what he yelled at me in the car the other day. 34 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:49,333 "Choose me or, you know, choose your loyalties 35 00:01:49,366 --> 00:01:51,233 or you won't have a husband." 36 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:55,866 I feel like he's just looking for ways to get rid of me. 37 00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:58,933 I don't know if this is fixable. 38 00:01:58,967 --> 00:02:01,167 He acts like I've done him wrong. 39 00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:03,933 I think he's, um, 40 00:02:04,633 --> 00:02:07,067 played favorites for a long time. 41 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,767 And Robyn lives the way he wants to run his family. 42 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,067 So I guess he's just gonna ride off. 43 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,966 All of his kids, all his other kids. 44 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:26,133 I think he didn't want to be a plural husband anymore. 45 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,200 [Koby] Janelle and I spent months 46 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,667 building up to the big fight we just had. 47 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,800 It's just one betrayal after another 48 00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:38,133 in my mind. 49 00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,600 I'm not looking for mea culpas here. 50 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:41,767 I'm not looking for an apology. 51 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,933 I just wanna be able to have a civil discussion. 52 00:02:43,966 --> 00:02:46,167 And then, she's getting so frustrated 53 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,100 when I'm talking to her, 54 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:49,067 that she's telling me to shut the f up. 55 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,400 And that triggered me. 56 00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:52,966 So she's talks about me being mean. 57 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,600 I see her as the one that's mean here. 58 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,100 I'm pretty depressed about it. 59 00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,067 Never in a million years did I think 60 00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:04,833 I would get in this position. 61 00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:06,900 Choose him, choose my children. 62 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:08,467 I don't know who says that, 63 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,067 and now he acts like... 64 00:03:10,067 --> 00:03:11,400 Now he's flipped it and said it's-- 65 00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:13,100 it's all my fault? 66 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,300 I don't recognize this man. 67 00:03:15,333 --> 00:03:17,667 I don't. I don't know who this guy is. 68 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,667 Maybe this is who he always was, 69 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:22,700 I don't know. [crying] 70 00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:26,333 But I don't recognize this very mean person. 71 00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:28,733 [sniffles] 72 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,100 I'm stuck. 73 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:32,733 I'm stuck. 74 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,067 Financially, I have nothing. 75 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,900 Christine had the house, I have nothing. 76 00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:41,067 Um, my name is on property with everybody else. 77 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,067 Probably nobody will cooperate now 78 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:43,933 and play ball. 79 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,433 I have nothing. 80 00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:50,067 I can't believe I'm 50, and... 81 00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:53,533 I can't even do my own thing. 82 00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:58,067 'Cause I-- I'm so tied up with them, financially. 83 00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,200 And I can't do anything. 84 00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:01,867 I'm stuck. 85 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,233 I can't believe I got myself into this position. 86 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:06,067 How dumb is that? I know better. 87 00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:07,300 [sniffles] 88 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,700 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 89 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:30,967 -[thuds] -[woman] Whoo! 90 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,767 [woman 2] Okay, that's enough. 91 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,300 Everything this year is just so weird. 92 00:04:36,332 --> 00:04:38,332 You know, I feel like really just... 93 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:40,933 stuck in the middle. 94 00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:42,067 This is Christmas eve, 95 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:46,067 and it's not as Christmassy as I should be. 96 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:54,200 [indistinct conversation] 97 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:57,267 [all exclaiming] 98 00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,567 [indistinct conversation] 99 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,867 I'm super excited to not do Christmas when everybody's here. 100 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:02,767 Are you kidding? 101 00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:05,133 I'm so excited. 102 00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:10,900 [chuckles] I'm so ready for a chill, easy, quiet, 103 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:13,433 not a lot of presence, 104 00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:16,832 just hanging out, having great food, 105 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:18,332 and playing games. 106 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,267 Okay, how are those noodles, Gabe? 107 00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,533 [Gabriel] Um, just about done. 108 00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:29,332 -About two or three minutes out. -Okay. 109 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,600 [Janelle] It's Christmas eve, 110 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:37,633 and we are actually cooking our meal for tonight. 111 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,233 I haven't spoken to Kody since the day he walked out the door. 112 00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:42,067 No text, no conversation, 113 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,500 and he hasn't been in contact with Savanah either. 114 00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:46,233 I haven't said anything to them about the argument. 115 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:48,733 Why? I mean, why? 116 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:50,832 [Gabriel] This is gonna be a great lasagna. 117 00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:53,733 [Janelle] Well, I sort of had to improvise some of it, but... 118 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:56,667 We take our marriage covenants very seriously. 119 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,832 I'm sort of stuck here. 120 00:05:57,867 --> 00:05:58,832 I don't want it back, 121 00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:00,333 but I don't feel like I can walk away. 122 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:02,700 Because my faith doesn't really allow for me 123 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:05,167 to just say, "I'm done." 124 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,467 I boxed up his stuff, he's not come to pick it up, 125 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,067 so I just put it in storage. 126 00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:09,967 He can come get it, 127 00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,633 and if he doesn't want it after a while, 128 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:12,967 I might just give it away. 129 00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:14,067 [Gabriel] And this will be the top layer, 130 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,533 which needs to be cooked the least. 131 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:18,067 -'cause the top layer will get cooked the most. -You know, I don't know. 132 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,967 You're making a lot of assumptions about cooking, 133 00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:21,500 that I just don't know. 134 00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:25,300 The last two years have been really hard. 135 00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:27,767 We were one big family, 136 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,233 and now, we're kind of separate. 137 00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:33,533 I am glad to maintain a-- 138 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:37,233 a pretty happy with-- relationship with a lot of my family. 139 00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:39,367 I can't help to feel that, uh, 140 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:44,067 we've kept the door open when, um, some haven't. 141 00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,867 [Gabriel] Well, I mean, your focus is cheese. 142 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,067 -Which is important. -Gabe, noodles. 143 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,300 [Gabriel] Warm noodles which are right there. 144 00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:53,167 -[Janelle] Perfect. -[Gabriel] Heck, yeah. 145 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,300 [Janelle] Now, some more tomato. 146 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,332 [Garrison] We've reached out and tried to be open, 147 00:06:57,367 --> 00:07:00,533 and it's been neglected and overlooked 148 00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:03,933 for offenses that were believed to have happened, 149 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,933 but they never did. 150 00:07:10,467 --> 00:07:13,533 [Kody] The idea that they wanted to connect with Robyn and her kids, 151 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,767 with Robyn and I rejected them is-- is not true. 152 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,167 I have reached out, only to get rejection. 153 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,733 They're not being fair. 154 00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,067 -[indistinct chatter] -[Kody] Ooh, I want some of that. 155 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:24,967 [Kody] Let's warm it. 156 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:26,100 Hey, let's-- 157 00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:27,467 Let's warm that, okay? 158 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,067 The spaghetti sauce. 159 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:31,367 -[woman 3] Warm it? -[Kody] Yeah, great. 160 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,900 [Meri indistinct] ravioli is what I always do on Christmas eve. 161 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:36,500 It's almost like a lasagna dish, 162 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:38,200 but not with lasagna noodles. 163 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:40,100 It has butterfly noodles. 164 00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:43,167 I don't care that the package says "bowtie noodles". 165 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,067 They're butterfly noodles. 166 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:52,067 [Robyn] I started collecting the-- the Dickens' Christmas village, 167 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:55,167 because Kody really likes A Christmas Carol 168 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,800 written by Charles Dickens. 169 00:07:56,832 --> 00:08:00,300 [Kody] The whole Dickens story's very-- very special for me. 170 00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:02,667 Ebenezer Scrooge got the lucky shot 171 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,900 of seeing what the-- 172 00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,467 what he looked like five years in the future. 173 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:09,067 And maybe, I need to look five years in my future. 174 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:16,067 [indistinct conversation] 175 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:18,567 [woman 4] Hi, baby. Hi. 176 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,667 -[baby cooing] -I know [indistinct] 177 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:24,332 Truely knows that she's gonna see Kody in a couple of days. 178 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:27,733 She doesn't really clock what she's missing. 179 00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:29,667 She's been around enough divorced kids 180 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,533 to know she'll get presents everywhere. 181 00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:34,067 -[woman 4] Merry Christmas. -[woman 5] Merry Christmas! 182 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,799 [all exclaiming] 183 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,967 God bless us, everyone! 184 00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:41,933 For Christmas day tomorrow, 185 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:43,600 we're gonna go to Mykelti's house. 186 00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:45,267 We're just gonna-- hang out there, 187 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,633 and we're just gonna hang out. 188 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,067 [Kody] Hey, she wants you to stop. 189 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,900 How about everybody get off their phones, though? 190 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,800 I mean, it's Christmas eve, 191 00:08:58,833 --> 00:08:59,900 -You have a-- -[woman 6] Can you say, 192 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,600 [woman 6] "Merry Christmas eve", or something? 193 00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:03,267 Merry Christmas, everybody. 194 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:06,067 My tradition has always been on Christmas eve, 195 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,500 to give the kids their Christmas jammies. 196 00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:09,967 This year, we changed it up, 197 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:11,400 and they're getting blankets. 198 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:14,467 [kid exclaims] 199 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:18,433 [Kody] It's probably very awkward for Meri. 200 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,233 This is mine and Robyn's house. 201 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:24,233 [kid exclaims] 202 00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:26,467 [Kody] Robyn and I always have to tone down 203 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,433 our romantic tension completely. 204 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,667 I know that it's different for Meri and Kody. 205 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,967 Out of respect for her and out of love for her, 206 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:36,933 I'm careful. 207 00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:41,067 [Meri] Kody doesn't hide things well, 208 00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:43,700 and I'm well aware. 209 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,900 It's kind of like, being the other woman. 210 00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:48,800 [laughs] 211 00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,833 [Kody] "And she brought forth her firstborn son, 212 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:56,367 and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, 213 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,567 and laid him in a manger; 214 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,033 because there was no room for them in the inn." 215 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,000 We read through the nativity. 216 00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,967 We have an experience together. 217 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,500 You know, tomorrow's gonna be Christmas, 218 00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:09,800 we'll be super focused on who's here and who we love, 219 00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:11,367 and stuff like that. 220 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,100 But I'm coming at this with a deficit. 221 00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:19,033 My bank account of love has-- has-- 222 00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:21,400 has been just-- just-- 223 00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:25,100 My heart has just been ripped to pieces. 224 00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:30,067 And I'm not yet in that place 225 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,400 that I keep praying I can get to, 226 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,233 where I'm just accepting 227 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,733 what has happened and where we're at, 228 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:37,333 and it's put into a box. 229 00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:39,500 Do the best I can 230 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:41,400 to give anything that I still can 231 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,833 to my children that are here with me now. 232 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,467 Me and Robyn are the only ones trying. 233 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:53,133 Like, even trying to hold this family together. 234 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,200 [Janelle] But Savanah, you have other gifts. 235 00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:56,800 I kind of told the kids 236 00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:58,767 their dad and I had had a really bad fight 237 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,467 that we probably weren't coming back from. 238 00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:10,667 This is the first year 239 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:13,767 that I'll be doing Christmas separate from everybody. 240 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,900 I mean, ironically, 241 00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,667 Janelle's doing Christmas separate too, with her kids. 242 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,533 And I have no idea what Kody, Robyn and Meri are doing for Christmas. 243 00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:34,833 It's Christmas day. 244 00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,733 I am on my way over to Robyn's house. 245 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,067 To be honest with you, I feel like... 246 00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:47,300 me and Robyn are the only ones trying. 247 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:50,767 Like, even trying to hold this family together. 248 00:11:51,933 --> 00:11:54,300 I-- I'm just so frustrated [laughs] 249 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:58,067 with so many people right now. 250 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:02,600 For this Christmas, unfortunately, 251 00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:06,533 it's just, um, Meri, my kids, Kody and I. 252 00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,067 We're just gonna make it the best day 253 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,667 that it can possibly be. 254 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,100 I really don't expect that we'll see Kody. 255 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,200 I really don't. 256 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,233 It's been a week and a half, 257 00:12:19,267 --> 00:12:20,467 and he hasn't said a thing, 258 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,867 or called or texted Savanah, so... 259 00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,467 I don't know. I hope so. 260 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,933 'Cause my hell, it's Christmas, 261 00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:29,233 and this is your girl, your daughter who lives in town, 262 00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:30,733 and she's done nothing to you. 263 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,400 Merry Christmas. 264 00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:36,300 The kids are up 265 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,900 and we're ready to start looking over, 266 00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:41,067 they're gonna go through their stockings. 267 00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,600 Everyone's ready? 268 00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:45,367 -[woman 7] Yes. -[Kode] All right, okay. 269 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,467 [Robyn] Kody's got this crazy surprise. 270 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,967 I'm hoping that the kids just lose interest. Yeah. 271 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,300 [laughs] 272 00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:57,333 [all exclaiming] 273 00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:58,867 [Kody] So we got scooters, 274 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,300 and we got helmets for everybody. 275 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,467 Motorized vehicles are not my favorite thing. 276 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,067 I'm not excited. 277 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,167 [Kody] We used to call them mini bikes when I was little. 278 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,900 We got the property out there. 279 00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:10,467 I wanna have some fun on it. 280 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,267 They're not even expensive. 281 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,067 [indistinct conversation] 282 00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:16,900 I think they're dangerous. 283 00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:18,700 [Kody] Kids, so you have to wear goggles and helmets, 284 00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:19,733 probably gloves. 285 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,767 [Robyn] I kind of wonder 286 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,233 if Kody was trying to compensate 287 00:13:24,267 --> 00:13:25,300 with these bikes. 288 00:13:26,933 --> 00:13:28,833 Instead of the kids focusing on the fact 289 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:31,633 that family isn't all together, 290 00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:34,667 he's gone, "Look, look at this pretty cool thing over here." 291 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:37,333 Compensate for what it is we're actually missing here. 292 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,367 [Janelle] It's Christmas day! 293 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,767 My boys are here, Savanah's here, 294 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,133 but we are at a vacation rental. 295 00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:58,633 -Thank you, Mom. [laughs] -[mimics whipping] 296 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,900 It's a gift card. [laughs] 297 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:03,600 [Janelle] It's a gift certificate weekend [indistinct] 298 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,700 -Okay. -Oh, thank you, Mom. 299 00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:08,533 [Janelle] I feel overwhelming relief, 300 00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:11,233 but there is a little bit of a sadness 301 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:16,067 that Kody is not showing up for his kids, not Savanah. 302 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,300 -[Kody] Merry Christmas, -[Savanah speaking indistinctly] 303 00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:19,400 [Kody] everybody open your stockings. 304 00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,100 [Janelle] For the last 30 years, 305 00:14:21,133 --> 00:14:24,733 I've celebrated Christmas as a family. 306 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:27,800 [Kody] Thanks for being here, thanks for being born. 307 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,233 -[Janelle] Yeah. -[Kody] You're awesome, every one of you. 308 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,567 [Janelle] Miss the big Christmas, it was fun. 309 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,400 But this feels good, this feels peaceful. 310 00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:39,267 This feels joyful. 311 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,167 Everybody wanted gift cards this year. 312 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,733 So I'm like, "That's easy." 313 00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,767 But Savanah, you have other gifts. 314 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,367 I kind of told the kids 315 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,333 their dad and I had had a really bad fight 316 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,133 that we probably weren't coming back from. 317 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,600 My kids weren't surprised. 318 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:54,067 They've observed our relationship for several years 319 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,967 and thought maybe [clicks tongue] 320 00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,633 it was time for me to get something, 321 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,067 do something different. 322 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,333 Find something better. 323 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,533 -Thank you, Mom. -Thanks, Mom. 324 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:04,400 -Thanks, Mom. -Merry Christmas, Mom. 325 00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:06,600 [Janelle] Sorry, didn't mean to tape it so long. 326 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,600 I thought, uh, the Christmas we did 327 00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,933 with just Mom and, uh, Mom's kids 328 00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:12,467 was very quiet. 329 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,133 But it was honestly, in my opinion, kind of pleasant. 330 00:15:15,167 --> 00:15:16,867 It was good. 331 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,600 [Gabriel] I went into it thinking that it would be 332 00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:21,100 a little bit like, hard to swallow 333 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,200 that nobody was there, 334 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,967 but I actually found myself enjoying it a lot. 335 00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:32,400 I have not heard from anybody here in Flagstaff, 336 00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:33,600 as far as family goes. 337 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,433 [Kody] Janelle had already decided that she was to-- 338 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:41,767 gonna do Christmas separate. 339 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,067 You know, after the fight, there was nothing. 340 00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,833 And that-- I just didn't see the point. 341 00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:49,500 Janelle was, uh, just as absent as I was. 342 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,100 Wow, what a twirly dress. 343 00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:55,533 That's just beautiful. Thank you. 344 00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,933 I'm kind of compartmentalized. 345 00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:01,733 Janelle is out of mind and out of sight for me right now. 346 00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,300 Yes, this is a struggle. 347 00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:06,933 My loyal wife and her children, 348 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:08,733 we. 349 00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:11,400 We want something special. 350 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,467 So I am blocking everything else out for today. 351 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,900 Okay, Paeden, do we have, uh, 352 00:16:16,933 --> 00:16:20,700 what's it called, uh, uh, celery? Uh, ground celery? 353 00:16:20,733 --> 00:16:22,400 For breakfast, we're having crepes, okay? 354 00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:23,933 It looks like tortillas, they're not. 355 00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:25,067 They're crepes, okay? 356 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,300 It's more French, less Mexican. 357 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,433 [Solomon] Everyone in my family likes crepes, 358 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,967 but except for me. 359 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,367 Because I don't like the-- 360 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,433 the texture, I don't like strawberries, 361 00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,667 I don't like the breading. 362 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:42,400 Crepes are one of my loveliest desserts. 363 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,400 I love 'em, 364 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:46,867 'cause of the cream, and the powdered sugar, 365 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,067 and the texture, and... 366 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:51,700 All the stuff about crepes is basically what I love. 367 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,100 You just need to count your lucky stars 368 00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,467 that you're not seeing what Kody's putting in his crepe. 369 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,233 [clicks tongue] It's nasty. 370 00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:02,433 Oh. That's divine. 371 00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:03,800 Most of everybody has two crepes. 372 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:07,467 One is their mille crepe, and one is a dessert crepe. 373 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,567 So, I'll usually have two crepes. 374 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:10,867 They're a little mixture of both. 375 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:18,267 What my dad puts on his crepes in-- 376 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:21,099 is a lot of gross stuff, and sweet stuff. 377 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:23,267 It's just disgusting. 378 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,067 He's a heathy person, but a disgusting person, too. 379 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,967 Must be Robyn's influence on him. 380 00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,700 I have no idea. [laughs] 381 00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:36,767 [Robyn] Uh, he like, puts mozzarella cheese 382 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,933 and he puts berries, 383 00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,200 and some sort of weird aioli. 384 00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,333 It's a burrito that's French. 385 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,267 Not tasty looking. 386 00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:56,333 It's a cornucopia of fun food. 387 00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:01,400 A sort of sacred loneliness 388 00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,567 the women have had in principle. 389 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,267 There's this term of "sacred loneliness" 390 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,833 because their husband's not around as much. 391 00:18:08,867 --> 00:18:10,833 I've never heard this term "sacred loneliness". 392 00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:12,433 I think it's stupid. 393 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,333 Like, you're supposed to honor the fact that you're lonely? 394 00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,067 [laughs] 395 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,400 We've managed to get our family 396 00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:31,867 through the holidays. 397 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,833 And that experience was very isolating. 398 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,400 I'm in this bad place with Janelle, 399 00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:41,167 and Christine's gone. 400 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,200 Don't even know what to do with Meri. 401 00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,567 And even with Robyn, 402 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,567 kind of feeling like I've been pretty much grouch for two years. 403 00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,133 My friend Nathan and I are just going for a drive. 404 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,067 We don't really have a destination. 405 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,833 It's mostly about just wanting to talk to him freely 406 00:18:58,867 --> 00:19:01,733 about his own advice and experience 407 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,500 in being a polygamist going through a divorce. 408 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:05,600 Come in. 409 00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:06,733 -[Ethan] Hey, man. -How's it going? 410 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,233 -[Ethan groans] -[Kody chuckles] 411 00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:10,867 -Going great. -How was your drive? 412 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,667 It was good. It was really good. 413 00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:16,067 My wife and Meri are sisters. 414 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,667 And-- and that's how 415 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:19,400 Kody and I became brother in laws. 416 00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:20,967 It's when I married my wife. 417 00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:25,467 [Kody] Do you know the weirdest thing that I'm experiencing? 418 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,533 [Nathan] What's that? 419 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,133 I don't know how to explain this, man. 420 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,833 I'm going through a divorce, 421 00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:31,900 and I'm still... 422 00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:34,567 got a wife that I'm in love with. 423 00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:36,500 When Kody became public, 424 00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:39,267 uh, he wanted to show the world 425 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:43,267 that plural families, uh, could be loving, functional. 426 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:44,533 It's a strange thing now 427 00:19:44,567 --> 00:19:47,867 that the world gets to watch what, uh, 428 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:50,067 happens when... 429 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,967 when they break down, and, uh... 430 00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:56,233 you know, hope that when people see that, 431 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:58,267 they have compassion. 432 00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:02,400 I know that Janelle and Robyn are looking at me 433 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:03,533 and-- and they're like, 434 00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,833 looking at me like they don't know me. 435 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:07,133 There's no getting around that. 436 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:08,700 You know that, um, 437 00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:12,467 when Beth left me, uh, 438 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,433 I was still married to Rebecca. 439 00:20:14,467 --> 00:20:15,933 I've lived plural marriage before, 440 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:18,100 I've had, um, two wives. 441 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,600 My second wife, uh, 442 00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,433 decided it wasn't for her anymore and she left. 443 00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:24,267 And so, so-- 444 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,200 That's-That's my history and my background on that. 445 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:32,967 He had a-- an experience that started out very positive and ended very negative. 446 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,667 It took me several years, many years, 447 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,600 to get to a sort of equilibrium. 448 00:20:39,633 --> 00:20:44,367 But, even now that I'm-- I feel like that I'm somewhat more imbalanced. 449 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,067 It's a new equal-- I'm not the same person. 450 00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,833 Until a person's been divorced, 451 00:20:49,867 --> 00:20:52,567 you don't know how... 452 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,867 fundamentally it changes you, it alters you. 453 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:59,400 It's a weird place to be, where you had this big family, 454 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:01,333 and it's a big thing. 455 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,933 And now we've got this small thing going on. 456 00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:12,133 It's not unimportant, and it is beautiful. 457 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:16,100 But it's not big like this other was, and can I adjust? 458 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:25,200 But I don't want to sit and identify as a monogamous. 459 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:27,933 If you are what you do, then what are you when you don't? 460 00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:32,233 Can I be a monogamous? 461 00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:35,500 Can I manage this? I mean, this-- this is smaller. 462 00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:38,167 It's like, you've gone to a place-- 463 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,600 Through-- because of the divorce, 464 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,767 -you've gone to a place you hadn't been before. -Yup. 465 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,767 Stupid things go through my mind, like "I wish I would've done that" 466 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,300 "I wish we wouldn't have ever gotten married", 467 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:48,800 "I wish I could go back in time." 468 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,967 Yeah, no, every guy who's-- 469 00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,500 Not every-- 470 00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:56,300 I'm guessing that most men who go through divorce, 471 00:21:56,333 --> 00:22:00,533 go through a breakup-- even I-- certainly feel the same way. 472 00:22:00,567 --> 00:22:03,067 Part of this, and I'm gonna be real, problem with you, 473 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:07,100 your other wives, they lost a sister wife too. 474 00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:10,300 I was all bitter and resentful, I agree, 475 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:13,467 that spilled out all over Rebecca 476 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:17,333 and I forgot that she lost a childhood best friend 477 00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:19,367 as well as a sister wife. 478 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,900 It's not just the husband that's being left. 479 00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:25,700 Robyn's feeling the ultimate rejection. 480 00:22:25,733 --> 00:22:28,200 I'm dealing with some depression, and some mourning 481 00:22:28,233 --> 00:22:29,433 and loss and grieving, 482 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:32,833 and it's a very difficult, heartbreaking situation. 483 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:39,067 You know how society's been for, you know, eons of time, 484 00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:41,233 that any strong man... 485 00:22:41,267 --> 00:22:43,967 would have more than one woman, 486 00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:45,967 whether they were married or not, whatever, 487 00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:48,100 and, you know, there's just something about us, 488 00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:50,633 in plural marriage for men, 489 00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:56,167 they really struggle to acknowledge that-that difficulty 490 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,067 that a woman has... 491 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,333 in plural marriage. 492 00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:01,667 We-We dismiss it. 493 00:23:02,467 --> 00:23:05,500 I think, um, that can happen. 494 00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:11,067 [sighs] It's-It's crazy, this sort of sacred loneliness, 495 00:23:11,067 --> 00:23:13,133 that woman have had in the principle. 496 00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:15,933 There's this term of "sacred loneliness", 497 00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:17,733 because the husband's not around as much. 498 00:23:18,567 --> 00:23:22,233 [laughs] Sacred loneliness? 499 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,433 I've never heard this term, sacred loneliness. 500 00:23:24,467 --> 00:23:25,900 I think it's stupid. 501 00:23:25,933 --> 00:23:29,067 Like, you're supposed to honor the fact that you're lonely? 502 00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:31,733 Yeah, it is that you sacrifice 503 00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:35,300 some of your emotional needs 504 00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:36,800 because you wanna live plural marriage. 505 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:38,467 [laughs] 506 00:23:39,867 --> 00:23:45,800 I hear Kody talk about how hard plural marriage is on the women, 507 00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:47,967 and it's like, oh, now you figure that out? [scoffs] 508 00:23:48,533 --> 00:23:49,933 You know what I mean? 509 00:23:49,967 --> 00:23:51,733 I've always thought it was... 510 00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:54,700 I've always thought it was so dumb. Sorry. 511 00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:58,700 Yeah, plural marriage can be lonely. 512 00:23:58,733 --> 00:24:02,400 In my head, it's an opportunity for you to... 513 00:24:02,433 --> 00:24:05,133 get a relationship with God. 514 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:09,667 For me, the principle in-in plural marriage, 515 00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:12,233 it is about a woman's right to choose 516 00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:16,200 who her husband gets to be and who gets to be the father of her children. 517 00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:17,433 And if they happen to me married, 518 00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:20,067 yeah, so what? 519 00:24:20,767 --> 00:24:22,900 She still gets to choose. 520 00:24:22,933 --> 00:24:25,333 On the flipside of that coin, though, 521 00:24:25,367 --> 00:24:29,200 -they have the freedom to-- Yeah. -[Kody] To leave as well. 522 00:24:29,233 --> 00:24:33,500 What is overlooked is that it can be difficult for the guy, too. 523 00:24:33,533 --> 00:24:36,267 I mean, it is-- it's a real work. 524 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,267 Each wife wanted me to be a 100% there. 525 00:24:40,067 --> 00:24:41,367 It was exhausting. 526 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,067 And they got a break every other day. 527 00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:46,600 If they all agree that they were gonna do this, 528 00:24:46,633 --> 00:24:49,133 maybe they had more faith in me. 529 00:24:49,167 --> 00:24:52,300 The wife's just tired of hearing about the struggle. 530 00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,800 Until you've sat in the seat and, you know, 531 00:24:54,833 --> 00:24:56,500 been a guy that's had four wives 532 00:24:56,533 --> 00:25:00,767 and tried to meet the emotional, spiritual, physical, uh, 533 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,467 mental needs of four women. 534 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,067 You know, it's like, it's uh... 535 00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:10,233 it-- there's a hubris that comes with judgment. 536 00:25:10,267 --> 00:25:12,467 I courted Meri and I courted Robyn. 537 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:15,833 But Christine and Janelle both asked if they could be in the family. 538 00:25:15,867 --> 00:25:20,233 And with that ask, I had some special requirements that I wanted them to meet 539 00:25:20,267 --> 00:25:21,467 in order to come in the family. 540 00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:27,967 And mainly, that was there'll be other wives, 541 00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:29,467 you've gotta to be committed to me. 542 00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:35,400 It's improper for a man to be out chasing wives. 543 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,600 It's generally a woman approaches the family, 544 00:25:37,633 --> 00:25:39,533 and says that, "Look, I feel like I've had a spiritual revelation 545 00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:40,867 that maybe I belong in your family." 546 00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:46,633 He now keeps saying that Christine and I asked to be in the family, 547 00:25:46,667 --> 00:25:48,267 and Robyn was invited. 548 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:51,100 Somehow, because Christine and I asked, we deserve less, 549 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:53,233 we should be happy with what we got. 550 00:25:53,267 --> 00:25:55,167 It wasn't like we were begging to be in the family. 551 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,767 We simply asked, there was a courtship, and then we all got married. 552 00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:03,500 [Kody] They had their full choice to be in this family. 553 00:26:03,533 --> 00:26:06,233 And after they went through this process with us, 554 00:26:06,267 --> 00:26:08,533 they decided they don't wanna be part of it. 555 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,733 You get in this place where it's like, "Well... 556 00:26:14,767 --> 00:26:17,933 I should just be the devil I think I am now." 557 00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:21,167 You're gonna have to face the darkest parts of yourself. 558 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,500 [Kody] And it's weird, I am. 559 00:26:23,533 --> 00:26:26,867 This is stuff that I should be keeping to myself. 560 00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,067 I don't want Robyn to see this. 561 00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:43,433 I mean, there's, like, I-- I just-- 562 00:26:43,467 --> 00:26:45,500 never foresaw this happening to me, 563 00:26:45,533 --> 00:26:48,567 and I never foresaw my reaction to this happening. 564 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,100 I just-- I was so optimistic about living plural marriage, 565 00:26:54,133 --> 00:26:55,600 [chuckles sarcastically] everybody seemed happy. 566 00:26:56,167 --> 00:26:57,567 And they're not now. 567 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:58,867 Nobody's happy now. 568 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:00,933 It's heartbreaking. 569 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:06,467 It was a dream and now it's gone. 570 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,467 It's such... 571 00:27:09,067 --> 00:27:10,300 such a mess right now. 572 00:27:11,567 --> 00:27:13,800 We can deny it to ourselves, but, uh, 573 00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:15,600 Robyn's in for a ride, 574 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:18,833 and all-- any of the other wives that's staying with them. 575 00:27:22,267 --> 00:27:24,133 [Robyn] We've never had as many problems 576 00:27:24,167 --> 00:27:25,633 as we're having right now in our marriage. 577 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:32,733 He's suspicious of anybody being disloyal to him, 578 00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:35,567 he's directing that at me. 579 00:27:36,633 --> 00:27:38,333 It's like I don't rec-- recognize him, 580 00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,200 I don't really recognize him right now 581 00:27:40,233 --> 00:27:42,067 and I've never seen him like this before. 582 00:27:45,467 --> 00:27:48,667 Instead of throwing out the old, battered sword, 583 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:52,400 it's about re-forging it into something new and shiny. 584 00:27:52,433 --> 00:27:55,667 I wish I would've asked Christine why-- what made her-- 585 00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:58,933 why she believed in the principles, which we talked about a lot. 586 00:27:58,967 --> 00:28:01,067 It'd be interesting to hear from the three of them 587 00:28:01,067 --> 00:28:04,867 what their ideal is about plural marriages now. 588 00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:08,933 Five years ago, I was fighting to keep it together. 589 00:28:08,967 --> 00:28:10,400 "What has happened to me?" 590 00:28:11,067 --> 00:28:12,233 This caused me to go... 591 00:28:14,267 --> 00:28:15,500 Feel relief, 592 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,667 when a woman's saying "I'm leaving." 593 00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:21,400 I've had to really think about plural marriage. 594 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:23,300 I still believe that it can be lived 595 00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:24,867 and that there is a purpose for it. 596 00:28:27,367 --> 00:28:30,933 Despite the fact that Kody and I are having problems, 597 00:28:32,067 --> 00:28:34,433 I do think I could live plural marriage 598 00:28:34,467 --> 00:28:36,633 and I could live plural marriage again. 599 00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:40,367 I don't know if there's really an opportunity for me to live it again. 600 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,067 I mean, it's kind of a strange thing, 601 00:28:43,100 --> 00:28:45,367 you know, go around finding people who're living plural marriage. 602 00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:50,233 [Robyn] In my head, this is still something that can work. 603 00:28:50,267 --> 00:28:52,200 You have to have people who are interested. 604 00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:58,433 There are full-functioning plural families out there. 605 00:28:58,467 --> 00:29:00,700 I think you just gotta always work together, though, 606 00:29:00,733 --> 00:29:02,700 and keep that ideal, 607 00:29:02,733 --> 00:29:04,333 and keep on talking about the ideal 608 00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:07,200 and making sure that the ideal grows with the vision of the family. 609 00:29:10,700 --> 00:29:15,067 [Meri] I don't think that the fact that our family has... 610 00:29:15,833 --> 00:29:17,867 kind of fallen apart like it has 611 00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:19,367 is because of polygamy. 612 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,567 I think it's because of personalities. 613 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,567 I think that he regrets marrying Christine. 614 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,167 I don't know where he is with Janelle. 615 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,600 But, I do believe a 100% that he regrets marrying me. 616 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,667 This whole divorce, I thought I'd handle better, 617 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:39,367 that I thought I would be able to meditate through 618 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,400 and I'm not even meditating now, you know? 619 00:29:41,433 --> 00:29:44,400 -Yeah. -My prayers are weak and-and faithless. 620 00:29:44,433 --> 00:29:47,333 You know, I just-- I'm in this, just, spot, 621 00:29:47,367 --> 00:29:50,067 and wha-- I'm struggling with my own benevolence. 622 00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:52,500 -I just... -[laughs] 623 00:29:52,533 --> 00:29:54,667 I just wanna be a [bleep]. 624 00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,333 -You-- -For a little while, you know? 625 00:29:56,367 --> 00:29:59,400 I wanna grow horns right now so bad. 626 00:29:59,433 --> 00:30:02,900 I wanna say mean things, I wanna be a jackass. 627 00:30:02,933 --> 00:30:04,567 It's just like this... 628 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,467 this urge to just... 629 00:30:07,967 --> 00:30:10,967 You know, be the ass[bleep] she said I was. 630 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,100 You know, like, "Oh, you think I'm ass[bleep], 631 00:30:13,133 --> 00:30:14,933 well, I'll show you an ass[bleep]." 632 00:30:14,967 --> 00:30:18,067 You're gonna have to face the darkest parts of yourself. 633 00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:20,067 And it's weird, I am! 634 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,433 -Yup. -And I don't like who I am! 635 00:30:22,467 --> 00:30:26,267 Yup. You're gonna stare at the-the man in the mirror 636 00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,100 and you're gonna find out how big the horns are. 637 00:30:29,133 --> 00:30:30,767 There were things that I thought-- 638 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,867 that I I never thought I could think. 639 00:30:32,900 --> 00:30:35,300 -And I thought 'em. -Dude, yeah. 640 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:39,033 It's a, like, a heavy, thick drive inside of me. 641 00:30:39,067 --> 00:30:41,400 -Yeah. -And it's, wh-- you talk about a gremlin? 642 00:30:41,433 --> 00:30:43,567 I got a gremlin inside of me, Nathan. 643 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,533 I mean, the deepest temptations I've had in my whole life... 644 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,000 was to sit down and stop trying to be good. 645 00:30:52,067 --> 00:30:53,733 And that's happening to me now. 646 00:30:54,767 --> 00:30:56,967 It is just devastating. 647 00:31:00,367 --> 00:31:04,767 And there's this urge that I'm seriously fighting, it's like, deep in me. 648 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,567 It's ugly, it's sinister, 649 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,500 and I-- that's the wolf you wanna starve. 650 00:31:10,533 --> 00:31:12,167 But that urge to do it, 651 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,433 to just be mean as hell... 652 00:31:14,467 --> 00:31:17,800 Just has gotten in me, just-- and it's a fight. 653 00:31:19,067 --> 00:31:21,367 I don't know, I worked so hard to do what was right. 654 00:31:27,633 --> 00:31:32,233 And when you lose that, and you feel like you've failed even to God, 655 00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:34,567 you get in this place where it's like, "Well... 656 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,133 I should just be the devil I think I am now." 657 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,167 This is stuff that I should just be keeping to myself. 658 00:31:44,067 --> 00:31:45,967 I don't want Robyn to see this. 659 00:31:48,233 --> 00:31:51,067 I don't want her to know how dark I've gotten. 660 00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:56,633 I'm now thinking that you probably didn't share with me your darkest thoughts. 661 00:31:56,667 --> 00:32:03,167 Probably not, I don't know that anybody shares their, you know, 662 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,833 the ugly side of themselves 663 00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:06,900 and actually finds themselves. 664 00:32:06,933 --> 00:32:09,067 Just don't-- don't let her open one mirror 665 00:32:09,067 --> 00:32:14,133 and take hope in the fact that you aren't acting out on that. 666 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:17,933 You know, I-I look back at my experience, when-when my wife left me, 667 00:32:17,967 --> 00:32:22,867 and, uh... and I definitely wouldn't have wanted it filmed. [laughs] 668 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:25,433 I don't think I would've looked like, uh-- 669 00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:29,500 I-I wouldn't have come out shiny, I would've been-- I would've been very messy. 670 00:32:29,533 --> 00:32:32,567 It's like, there's a difficulty in... 671 00:32:33,767 --> 00:32:37,300 saving a relationship that seems like 672 00:32:37,333 --> 00:32:40,167 it would be so much easier to let it go. 673 00:32:40,767 --> 00:32:42,467 -It seems like-- -And-- 674 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:47,333 And-And then move on and find something else that is no longer broken. 675 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:50,700 There's an-an urge to just-- 676 00:32:52,133 --> 00:32:53,833 -There's real discourage-- -Break it all. 677 00:32:53,867 --> 00:32:55,300 -Break it all... -There's real discouragement. 678 00:32:55,333 --> 00:32:56,800 -...and start again somewhere else. -Yeah. 679 00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:58,600 We have only two choices. 680 00:32:58,633 --> 00:33:02,700 We can sit there and just say, "Well, it's all crap", and throw our hands up, 681 00:33:02,733 --> 00:33:08,067 or we can fight to win and-and believe in redemption. 682 00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:10,900 I got two of my littlest, my two youngest, 683 00:33:10,933 --> 00:33:12,933 are still loving me back 684 00:33:12,967 --> 00:33:16,567 and I'm thinking, "What a stupid thought to wanna run from this", 685 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,933 when the only thing that loves me still... 686 00:33:20,067 --> 00:33:22,300 -Yeah. -I'll be abandoning, you know. 687 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:24,067 Yup. I get it. 688 00:33:25,567 --> 00:33:27,200 [Kody] I just have this gut thing, 689 00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:30,400 it's like, I'd like to run away, from my life. 690 00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:33,467 You know, just escape, just, um... 691 00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:38,300 Change my name, disappear, be somebody else. 692 00:33:39,733 --> 00:33:43,633 I just-- I hate my life right now. 693 00:33:43,667 --> 00:33:47,267 I've always wanted to live plural marriage from the time that I was a young woman. 694 00:33:50,767 --> 00:33:52,333 This is what I'm invested in, 695 00:33:52,367 --> 00:33:55,233 and so, for him to question it is like... 696 00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:58,767 It feels a little bit like a dealbreaker of our marriage. 697 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:03,067 This is not what our marriage agreement is. 698 00:34:03,067 --> 00:34:06,067 It would absolutely devastate me if he decided to leave me. 699 00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:13,167 I mean, I know he has these thoughts, 700 00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:16,433 and you can't make anybody stick around or stay. 701 00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:18,667 I know he will regret it. 702 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,467 You know, leaving everything behind. 703 00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,632 I just know it's from pain. 704 00:34:23,667 --> 00:34:26,867 It's not because he's a selfish or bad person, he's just in pain. 705 00:34:33,867 --> 00:34:36,067 I think my kids look at me and they're like, 706 00:34:36,100 --> 00:34:37,632 "You're the source of my heartbreak." 707 00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:42,667 -[Kody] Ysabel is setting the table, I guess. -Yeah. 708 00:34:43,933 --> 00:34:45,833 They wanna say something, 709 00:34:45,867 --> 00:34:47,600 and they know what they wanna say. 710 00:34:48,167 --> 00:34:49,467 But they won't say it. 711 00:34:55,766 --> 00:34:58,133 [men exclaiming and laughing] 712 00:34:59,700 --> 00:35:01,533 -[Garrison] You were-- -[Hunter] How was the drive? [chuckles] 713 00:35:01,567 --> 00:35:03,667 Long, oh my gosh. 714 00:35:03,700 --> 00:35:06,300 Janelle and I decided to get a-a little vacation rental 715 00:35:06,333 --> 00:35:07,767 between Christmas and New Years. 716 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,500 And we're in Flagstaff now, celebrating, you know, 717 00:35:10,533 --> 00:35:12,733 second Christmas together, we're super excited. 718 00:35:12,767 --> 00:35:14,900 Hunter came from Baltimore for Christmas, 719 00:35:14,933 --> 00:35:16,067 and he's still here. 720 00:35:16,100 --> 00:35:18,200 -Garrison! -[Garrison exclaims] 721 00:35:18,233 --> 00:35:21,667 [Christine] And then we have Garrison, Gabe and Savanah here for Christmas as well. 722 00:35:21,700 --> 00:35:24,467 We're gonna stay and hang out here for a couple of days, I'm so excited. 723 00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:27,567 [all exclaiming] 724 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,367 [Christine] Just having everybody in the same place again, 725 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,633 it already feels festive. 726 00:35:35,567 --> 00:35:38,500 It's cute, right? It's cute to see the kids together again. 727 00:35:38,533 --> 00:35:40,867 -[Hunter exclaiming] -He's vicious. 728 00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:42,800 -What's your game? -[Hunter laughs] 729 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:46,533 I still think that we have a completely whole relationship 730 00:35:46,567 --> 00:35:48,633 with all of Christine and her kids. 731 00:35:50,567 --> 00:35:52,067 [indistinct laughter] 732 00:35:52,100 --> 00:35:54,333 -[Christine laughs] -Oh, you're gonna rub it on me? 733 00:35:54,367 --> 00:35:56,233 [woman] Oh, my gosh [indistinct] 734 00:35:56,267 --> 00:35:58,567 [Garrison] That was great that they showed up. 735 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,167 It's kind of a party. [chuckles] 736 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,767 It got a little too wild at times, but I am gonna blame Christine for that. 737 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,267 -She-- Yeah. -Blame Hunter for that. [chuckles] 738 00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:09,100 We'll all point fingers, so... 739 00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:12,233 -You're not wearing any-- -Hunter, you can't go inside, that's cheating. 740 00:36:12,267 --> 00:36:13,467 [Hunter] I did nothing. 741 00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:17,200 -[Garrison] So... -Look at my bare feet. 742 00:36:17,233 --> 00:36:20,233 I think my brothers have a tendency to get a little wild, 743 00:36:20,267 --> 00:36:22,733 regardless of who it is, as long as you put two of them together. 744 00:36:22,767 --> 00:36:24,867 You're gonna have a party, for sure, so... 745 00:36:25,667 --> 00:36:26,933 [indistinct shouting] 746 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:30,133 [all laughing] 747 00:36:30,167 --> 00:36:31,267 [Gabriel] I feel like... 748 00:36:32,933 --> 00:36:36,733 dad didn't make enough effort this year. 749 00:36:36,767 --> 00:36:38,067 And maybe Robyn, too. 750 00:36:39,067 --> 00:36:40,900 Uh, I definitely feel... 751 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,933 not really necessarily slighted by them, 752 00:36:44,967 --> 00:36:46,500 but, absolutely neglected. 753 00:36:51,933 --> 00:36:56,500 [Robyn] Janelle's boys did not want to be around me and my kids 754 00:36:57,067 --> 00:36:58,400 or Kody for Christmas. 755 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,500 And that was very heartbreaking for me. 756 00:37:02,533 --> 00:37:05,500 'Cause if I would've thought for one second they were open, 757 00:37:05,533 --> 00:37:06,967 to anything to do with us, 758 00:37:08,067 --> 00:37:10,067 for Christmas, I would've just pushed, 759 00:37:11,167 --> 00:37:12,767 and tried to make it happen. 760 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,767 They decided on the separate Christmas, 761 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,867 without me, and without Robyn, 762 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,100 and without Meri. 763 00:37:19,067 --> 00:37:22,700 Mykelti, Truely and Ysabel are in town. 764 00:37:24,067 --> 00:37:27,067 Christmas is gone by, but we're gonna have a Christmas, 765 00:37:27,067 --> 00:37:28,267 basically with them. 766 00:37:28,933 --> 00:37:29,933 [indistinct conversation] 767 00:37:33,433 --> 00:37:36,800 [Janelle] There's been no communication from Kody about Savanah. 768 00:37:36,833 --> 00:37:38,800 She's not said, "I wanna go see dad", 769 00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:41,733 and he's not called her and said, "Do you wanna come over?" 770 00:37:41,767 --> 00:37:43,667 I'm kind of thinking he should say-- 771 00:37:43,700 --> 00:37:45,433 call and say "Hey, I wanna see you." 772 00:37:45,467 --> 00:37:49,233 I don't think it's her place to chase him and say, "I wanna see you, dad." 773 00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:50,533 Hey, Avalon. 774 00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:53,300 [indistinct background conversation] 775 00:37:53,333 --> 00:37:56,933 [Kody] Avalon is, uh, like-- fun as a barrel of monkeys. 776 00:37:56,967 --> 00:37:58,400 I wuv Avalon. 777 00:37:58,433 --> 00:38:00,133 [chuckles] That girl has my heart. 778 00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:05,233 [indistinct conversation] 779 00:38:05,267 --> 00:38:09,833 [Robyn] Mykelti has made it clear that she's neutral. 780 00:38:09,867 --> 00:38:12,833 [indistinct conversation] 781 00:38:12,867 --> 00:38:15,900 Mykelti's the bridge, between the family. 782 00:38:15,933 --> 00:38:17,767 She's always gotten along with everybody. 783 00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:21,267 Christine, before she left 784 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,967 Flagstaff and-and Kody, 785 00:38:23,067 --> 00:38:25,133 she-she told me that she didn't wanna have a relationship 786 00:38:25,167 --> 00:38:26,067 with me and my kids. 787 00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:28,467 If she wanted to reach out with my kids 788 00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,133 and my kids wanted that relationship with her, 789 00:38:31,167 --> 00:38:33,833 they... they'd have my blessing. 790 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:39,467 [Kody] Now I can let, uh... 791 00:38:41,533 --> 00:38:44,267 Now we can wake up the rest of the kids, I guess. 792 00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:47,067 We stayed the night, we're gonna have a Christmas morning. 793 00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:48,633 I just figured, well, let's just do Christmas. 794 00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:50,600 We'll open some presents, it'll be fun. 795 00:38:50,633 --> 00:38:52,467 Make it as fun as we can. 796 00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,900 -[Kody] Merry Christmas. -[everyone] Merry Christmas. 797 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:56,567 [Kody] Okay. 798 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,200 [kids chattering and exclaiming] 799 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,600 [Kody] Oh, Ariella, are you putting on makeup? 800 00:39:06,067 --> 00:39:08,667 Who's-Who's makeup kit do you have? 801 00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:11,067 -It's mine. -[Kody] Is that yours? 802 00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:13,533 Who-Who puts all your toys here in the morning? 803 00:39:13,567 --> 00:39:16,067 -On Christmas morning? -[Ariella] Santa! 804 00:39:16,067 --> 00:39:17,467 [Kody] San-- Santa does? 805 00:39:18,467 --> 00:39:19,300 Yeah. 806 00:39:19,333 --> 00:39:21,333 [Kody] And he gave you a makeup kit? 807 00:39:21,367 --> 00:39:23,267 -Yeah! -[Kody] And you're putting it on right now? 808 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:24,867 -Yeah. [chuckles] -[Kody] Can I see you put it on? 809 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,600 He-- look-look at me and bat your eyes. 810 00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:32,233 Oh, wow. Okay, cool. 811 00:39:32,267 --> 00:39:38,233 I didn't want Ysabel and Truely and Mykelti 812 00:39:38,267 --> 00:39:39,833 to be the only ones opening gifts, 813 00:39:39,867 --> 00:39:45,067 and so, I saved some of, um, my own kids', like, gifts. 814 00:39:45,067 --> 00:39:46,833 Wanted it to feel like Christmas. 815 00:39:46,867 --> 00:39:49,267 Ari's personality, is, um, 816 00:39:49,833 --> 00:39:50,800 she's... 817 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,967 kind of annoying, sweet, crazy, 818 00:39:56,067 --> 00:40:00,400 uh, imaginative and uh, I forget the fifth one. 819 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,633 What did you say about me? 820 00:40:04,667 --> 00:40:05,833 I can't think. 821 00:40:05,867 --> 00:40:07,300 [laughs] 822 00:40:07,333 --> 00:40:10,200 You're gonna-- you're so gonna be dead. 823 00:40:11,567 --> 00:40:15,267 Solomon is like a little twerp sometimes. 824 00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:19,500 -He... he sometimes wants to kiss my nose. -I don't-- 825 00:40:19,533 --> 00:40:21,833 And sometimes, he wants... 826 00:40:22,667 --> 00:40:23,767 to boss me around. 827 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:28,200 -Um, he is, uh, a little annoying. -[mouthing] 828 00:40:28,233 --> 00:40:31,267 He's just basically a yucky kid. 829 00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:34,400 And a funny kid and a sweet kid. 830 00:40:34,433 --> 00:40:36,733 -Okay, thank you-- -Give me a kiss. 831 00:40:42,433 --> 00:40:44,033 [Kody] Just, uh... 832 00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:46,033 -You wanna sit with me? -Nuh-uh. 833 00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:47,167 You need the loveseat. 834 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,200 [Robyn] We were opening presents. 835 00:40:50,233 --> 00:40:53,033 Kody started asking me to come over and sit with him. 836 00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:55,367 You-- why are you standing? 837 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,900 [Robyn] I didn't wanna make a big scene. 838 00:40:56,933 --> 00:41:00,100 I don't wanna rub this in Mykelti and Ysabel and Truely's face. 839 00:41:01,367 --> 00:41:02,967 [Kody] I'm not that optimistic right now, 840 00:41:03,067 --> 00:41:04,767 we're coming out of the holidays and it's been the-- 841 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,633 like, the hardest year of my life. 842 00:41:06,667 --> 00:41:10,500 I don't know what our family looks like a year from now. 843 00:41:14,933 --> 00:41:17,500 This whole breakup thing and the whole fight with Janelle, 844 00:41:17,533 --> 00:41:19,333 leaving me in pretty deep sorrow. 845 00:41:20,467 --> 00:41:23,467 I'm struggling to reach out to my kids anymore 846 00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:28,400 because Janelle's household is the source of my pain. 847 00:41:29,067 --> 00:41:30,400 I want a good Christmas. 848 00:41:30,433 --> 00:41:34,333 I am present and standard with Robyn and her kids 849 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:38,067 as best as I can be so that I can enjoy my Christmas. 850 00:41:38,067 --> 00:41:41,967 I know that there's some things I've gotta change. 851 00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:44,767 But I'm not ready. 852 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,733 It's maybe not the best, but it's the place I'm in right at this moment. 853 00:41:48,767 --> 00:41:50,400 And there will be other Christmases. 854 00:41:53,233 --> 00:41:55,667 [narrator] Next time on Sister Wives... 855 00:41:55,700 --> 00:41:57,533 [Robyn] Plural marriage is just hard. 856 00:41:57,567 --> 00:42:01,200 I felt like he wasn't spending enough time at my house. 857 00:42:01,233 --> 00:42:04,533 She knew that Kody was over at her house more than anybody else's. 858 00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:05,900 They couldn't trust her. 859 00:42:05,933 --> 00:42:08,067 I mean, at this point, Kody and I are separate. 860 00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:10,367 I haven't talked to him, I haven't seen him. 861 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,233 I still have my religious beliefs, 862 00:42:12,267 --> 00:42:15,467 so I can't just say, "Okay, well, I'm gonna go find somebody else", 863 00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:17,167 'cause that does not really work for me. 864 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:20,300 We're technically undefined. We're probably still married. 865 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,067 I... am making some changes. 866 00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:27,533 Peace out, signing out, bitches. [chuckles] 867 00:42:27,567 --> 00:42:29,633 [Kody] Too many lines have been crossed. 868 00:42:29,667 --> 00:42:31,400 I don't wanna live like this anymore. 869 00:42:31,433 --> 00:42:34,667 I need a reason why my family got blown to smithereens.