1 00:00:01,275 --> 00:00:03,275 [narrator] Previously on Sister Wives... 2 00:00:03,275 --> 00:00:06,793 So, I haven't said anything to Robyn yet about what my plans are. 3 00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:09,000 I'm planning on moving my clothing business 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,827 from Flagstaff up here to the B and B. 5 00:00:11,827 --> 00:00:15,827 I need to let Robyn know, 'cause I feel like she's the only one 6 00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:16,896 who's really going to care. 7 00:00:16,896 --> 00:00:18,724 This is done, like you've made your decision. 8 00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:21,758 It causes me a lot of anxiety, but yes. 9 00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:25,068 [Janelle] I have an appointment to meet with Kody. 10 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:29,413 I have not seen him since he blew up and walked out of my apartment 11 00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:30,586 right before Christmas. 12 00:00:33,482 --> 00:00:36,103 I don't know, it's weird because Kody was like 13 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:39,758 -so attentive to Christine. -To... to Christine. 14 00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:42,793 I tried very hard to be kind with her. 15 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,379 If Robyn approached me and wanted to be friends, 16 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,000 I would have not been friends still. 17 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,689 Because I couldn't trust her. 18 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:49,793 Thank you. 19 00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:50,793 -Hi. -Hi. 20 00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:52,310 Give me a hug. 21 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,689 About six weeks ago before Christmas, Janelle and I 22 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:56,172 had a major blow up fight. 23 00:00:56,172 --> 00:00:58,689 Didn't go really good last time we talked. [laughs] 24 00:00:58,689 --> 00:01:00,586 No. 25 00:01:00,586 --> 00:01:02,482 That's an understatement. 26 00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:05,172 I mean, I miss you, honey, I miss you. 27 00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:06,379 And I just don't know how to fix this 28 00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:07,965 or figure this out. 29 00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:13,586 I miss him. But I'm not being treated the way I deserve to be treated here. 30 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,310 [Janelle] Christine and I decided on one of our trips into town 31 00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,793 to meet up and go to lunch. 32 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:49,723 I just haven't said anything to Christine to this point 33 00:01:49,723 --> 00:01:51,275 about the fight, about the lunch 34 00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:54,413 we had six weeks later where I told him I didn't want him to come back. 35 00:01:54,413 --> 00:01:58,000 Um, you know, it just was all still very fresh and very raw 36 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,206 and it didn't really know what it meant. 37 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,896 But now everything is settled. 38 00:02:00,896 --> 00:02:04,344 I feel really comfortable communicating to Christine everything that's happened 39 00:02:10,793 --> 00:02:12,689 It's been a bit, and last time we talked, 40 00:02:12,689 --> 00:02:15,793 I mean, the conversations just kept getting heavier and heavier and heavier, 41 00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,862 so who knows what's going to happen today? 42 00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:34,172 [sighs] 43 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:36,586 So, I have asked Robyn to come over, 44 00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:40,586 so that we can chat, so I can share a little tidbit of information 45 00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:42,655 about my current life status. 46 00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:52,758 I'm feeling slightly nervous because she probably won't be happy with it. 47 00:02:58,413 --> 00:03:01,206 [Robyn] I do not know what she wants to talk to me about. 48 00:03:01,206 --> 00:03:04,379 She just said there's some stuff going on and we just need to sit down 49 00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,241 and visit, and I was like, "Okay." 50 00:03:13,689 --> 00:03:16,379 You know, I've heard more through the grapevine 51 00:03:16,379 --> 00:03:18,310 a little bit through her kids 52 00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:22,379 that things between her and Kody aren't great. 53 00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:24,482 -We'll have you two right here, today. -Awesome. 54 00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:25,482 Thank you. 55 00:03:25,482 --> 00:03:29,103 According to her kids, it's worse than ever. 56 00:03:29,103 --> 00:03:30,827 So last time I was here was with Kody. 57 00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:32,172 -Yeah. -Yeah, same. 58 00:03:32,172 --> 00:03:33,310 [laughs] 59 00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:35,103 Oh, how did it go, how was the talk with Kody? 60 00:03:35,103 --> 00:03:36,241 We actually... 61 00:03:36,379 --> 00:03:37,930 um... 62 00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,586 Not productive, productive but not productive. 63 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:41,586 You know how it is. 64 00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:44,103 -You always run in circles with him. -I know. 65 00:03:44,103 --> 00:03:45,862 -So... -Always. 66 00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:50,275 -[Meri] Hey! -[Robyn] Sorry, Stop being... 67 00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:53,103 -Hi. -How are you? 68 00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:56,413 -Good, how are you? -Yeah. 69 00:03:56,413 --> 00:04:00,275 I am a little nervous. But that's only because there's so much going on 70 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:01,724 right now. So much heavy stuff 71 00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:04,620 everywhere else that it's like, I don't know if I can take anymore. 72 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,482 Robyn has said to me so many times, 73 00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:09,448 "Don't leave me. Don't leave me." 74 00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:15,655 I think that it's gonna look to her like I'm throwing in the towel. 75 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,481 [sighs] 76 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:24,172 -So... -So... 77 00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:28,068 -[sighs] Thank you for coming over. -Oh, yeah. 78 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,620 Meri doesn't have good news for me. I can already tell 79 00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:32,586 from the way that she's talking to me. 80 00:04:32,586 --> 00:04:37,517 The reason why I have called you over is to give you an update on my life. 81 00:04:37,517 --> 00:04:39,758 -Okay. -It's just been a long time... 82 00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,344 since we've chatted or anything. 83 00:04:43,689 --> 00:04:45,137 Um... 84 00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,724 I've been thinking about it for a long time, 85 00:04:48,724 --> 00:04:52,793 and trying to figure out like what to do, especially like in the last year. 86 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:57,172 -[Robyn] Okay. -Since Mom passed, like how to run the B and B. 87 00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,482 -Yeah. -And what to do with it. 88 00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:00,965 And... 89 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:07,482 it's been a lot of work, going back and forth. 90 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:10,413 -I bet. -Trying to keep that up. 91 00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:14,206 But whenever I'm up there, I can't do the clothing business. 92 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:18,551 So, I've been trying to figure out like how to make it all work together. 93 00:05:19,482 --> 00:05:23,965 And I am going to be moving out of this house. 94 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,034 And moving the business up there. 95 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:36,034 But I will be downsizing here. 96 00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:38,551 Okay. 97 00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:42,000 Where are you going to be moving? 98 00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:48,241 Yeah, I don't... Mmm. I don't think she's liking it. 99 00:05:50,172 --> 00:05:53,172 I guess I'm just kind of double checking going, "This is where you live, 100 00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:55,172 though, this is home. 101 00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:57,482 This is going to stay home, right? 102 00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:02,068 What does that mean when you say you'll be there more? 103 00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:05,620 It will be longer chunks of time. 104 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,379 And I'll come back here... 105 00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:10,758 when I'm needed to be here. 106 00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:14,206 What's going to happen with... 107 00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:18,275 my relationship with Robyn and her kids and even the potential 108 00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:20,758 of any possibility that might... 109 00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:23,551 happen with Kody? 110 00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:28,862 It's just something that... 111 00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:33,862 I have figured out that I need to be doing. 112 00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:43,275 From everything that's happening right now, 113 00:06:43,275 --> 00:06:46,413 in the family with Kody and Janelle specifically right now, 114 00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:48,379 I feel very unsteady. 115 00:06:48,379 --> 00:06:52,344 And in all reality, Kody is even being different. 116 00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:01,931 I don't feel very steady even with him. 117 00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:04,586 But Meri and I always have had 118 00:07:04,586 --> 00:07:06,827 this steadiness between the two of us 119 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,000 and through everything that's been happening, 120 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,793 it's like at least I could go to her and look at her in the eyes 121 00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:15,827 and say, "We're here for each other, right? We're gonna stick this out, right? 122 00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,586 Let's not give up, okay?" 123 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:26,724 [Janelle] I've seen Nancy. 124 00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:28,379 -Oh, okay. -I saw Nancy. 125 00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:30,103 -Okay. -And it was helpful. 126 00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:35,586 Nancy is the family counselor, therapist that we saw in Vegas for a lot of years. 127 00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:38,931 I really needed somebody to talk to about all the things that were 128 00:07:38,931 --> 00:07:40,172 going on in my head. 129 00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:43,206 Really, I think what's happened is... 130 00:07:43,206 --> 00:07:45,758 I'm growing and I need something different. 131 00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:51,379 And that's hard... I'm still reconciling that, little bit. 132 00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:53,758 What do you mean something different? 133 00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:57,241 Like, I don't want to be married anymore. 134 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:00,896 You're done? 135 00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:04,172 Yeah. And I don't know what to do with that. 136 00:08:13,689 --> 00:08:18,172 It's about a five-hour drive between the bed and breakfast 137 00:08:18,172 --> 00:08:20,000 in my house here in Flagstaff. 138 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,896 It's a lot of miles on the car, it's a lot of time 139 00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:26,655 not being able to do work. 140 00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:34,344 My business will be moving up there and just because I need to have them... 141 00:08:35,688 --> 00:08:38,895 I feel like I'll be more efficient and better at both of them, 142 00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:41,068 If I'm not split so much. 143 00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:42,275 Okay. 144 00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:45,793 So, you want to... you want to have your business up there. 145 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,275 I'll be able to manage it better. 146 00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:55,000 So, my plan is to move my online clothing business 147 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,172 up to Parowan, up to the B and B. 148 00:08:57,172 --> 00:09:02,379 And then I will just find another smaller home to move into here in Flagstaff, 149 00:09:02,379 --> 00:09:06,000 I'll just be doing a lot of traveling back and forth between the two states. 150 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,655 -I mean, I'll still come back here. -Yeah. 151 00:09:11,413 --> 00:09:13,068 But this is where you'll live. 152 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:14,793 Yes. 153 00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:18,000 But I'll be visiting there often-er. 154 00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:22,068 -Often-er? -[laughs] Often-er. 155 00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:26,103 We're still gonna be here like this, like, together, right? 156 00:09:26,103 --> 00:09:29,758 Like, where we both believe in the possibility 157 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,379 of getting this family fixed somehow. 158 00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:41,172 I just don't want it to look like what I think it's gonna be perceived as. 159 00:09:41,172 --> 00:09:45,172 it's a little bit scary that I'm making this decision. 160 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:46,931 You're leaving Kody, you're done? 161 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:48,827 -Well... -Does he know you're done? 162 00:09:48,827 --> 00:09:52,965 I think he's just likes to string people along. It's exhausting. 163 00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:01,620 [Kody] So today, we're going out to Coyote Pass. 164 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:04,689 I got these mini bikes for the kids at Christmastime 165 00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,172 and now it's warm enough to go out there. 166 00:10:10,275 --> 00:10:15,896 I think I'll be able to ride the mini bikes when I'm probably in my 20s. 167 00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,896 Me when I'm probably like 19. 168 00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:21,103 -My mom's not gonna let us at all. -Yeah, so... 169 00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,482 Yeah, that's like... 170 00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:24,379 Unless we convince her. 171 00:10:27,517 --> 00:10:29,482 [Kody] Some of my children, I've had to teach how to drive 172 00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:33,310 and sometimes it's like... [grunts] It's just crazy teaching them to drive. 173 00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:37,896 Somebody who's used equipment before, like, if I get Sol and Ariella 174 00:10:37,896 --> 00:10:42,103 on the mini bikes, they'll understand braking and throttling 175 00:10:42,103 --> 00:10:47,000 enough that the transition to a vehicle, a car, 176 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,862 will be so much easier. 177 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,310 They're doing really well. They're having a good time. 178 00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:57,275 It's just that they're gonna be sore later because these mini bikes are just 179 00:10:57,275 --> 00:10:58,862 basically a bucket of bolts. 180 00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:10,896 If I could try to convince my mom and prove her, like, that she can trust me, 181 00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:12,689 and I can hold on really tight. 182 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,034 We can do it and we can hold on. 183 00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:34,206 [Robyn] All I know is that... 184 00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:39,586 uh, Janelle told Kody not to come back to the house after their fight. 185 00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:45,172 And I begged her not to tell him to come get his stuff, but she did it anyway. 186 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:49,275 It was one of the first times I've ever heard Janelle talking about 187 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,344 what she has with Kody isn't enough. 188 00:11:53,517 --> 00:11:56,103 I just don't think he's capable of more. 189 00:11:56,103 --> 00:11:58,310 -So, you're leaving Kody, you're done? -Well... 190 00:11:58,310 --> 00:11:59,379 Does he know you're done? 191 00:11:59,379 --> 00:12:01,275 I mean, I've told him not to come back 192 00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,344 -to the house, that we're separated. -Okay. 193 00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:11,379 We left it where we'll try to find a counselor, but he hasn't taken 194 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:15,517 any action and neither have I and it's been... a month. 195 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,103 [Christine] Okay. 196 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:20,000 I think he's just likes to string people along. 197 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,275 Sorry, I'm frustrated. He strung Meri along for years and years and years. 198 00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:27,482 And then he tried to string me along and now he's stringing Janelle along. 199 00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:29,172 He's exhausting. 200 00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:31,620 So, you don't really want to. 201 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:35,379 I don't think so, I'm struggling because I still have so much 202 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,586 affection for him. But I just... 203 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:42,000 I... I need something different as far as marriage goes. 204 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,103 Yeah. 205 00:12:43,103 --> 00:12:45,000 -It's okay to grow. It's okay to change. -Yeah. 206 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,689 And sometimes your partner comes along and sometimes they don't. 207 00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:51,068 -Yeah. -And then maybe all the changes with COVID 208 00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:53,931 and then the way he was about my boys and everything 209 00:12:53,931 --> 00:12:57,965 and maybe it was just finally like, I'm ready to do something different. 210 00:12:59,103 --> 00:13:00,896 I don't know. 211 00:13:02,275 --> 00:13:06,689 I can't think of any reason that I would want him to come back at this point. 212 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:10,620 I just don't know because I'm... 213 00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:15,586 I'm just waiting on God to tell me if... if what I'm doing is okay. 214 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,034 I haven't had any kind of inspiration to that regard yet. 215 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,689 I'm not sure what exactly is going on with Janelle and Kody. 216 00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:32,310 Kody's not actually talking to me about it. 217 00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,758 I think it's because he doesn't like what I have to say. 218 00:13:34,758 --> 00:13:36,482 Because I'm like... 219 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,206 figure this out, talk. 220 00:13:38,206 --> 00:13:39,275 Work this out. 221 00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,172 [Meri] It's easier for me to be at the B and B 222 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:50,413 and that scares me that I'm going to where it's easy. 223 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,103 I think that's what Kody's done for many years, 224 00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:55,482 is just gone to where it's easy. 225 00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,517 Now, look our relationship, you know what I mean? 226 00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:00,862 Like what's it going to lead to? 227 00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:05,896 So... 228 00:14:05,896 --> 00:14:08,862 So, does this mean anything else? This just means exactly what you're telling me? 229 00:14:08,862 --> 00:14:10,793 -It means exactly what I'm telling you. -Okay, cool. 230 00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:12,034 All right, good to know. 231 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:18,379 I'm not 100% convinced that Robyn believes what my point is 232 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,241 with moving my business up there. 233 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,068 I'm trying to remain calm. 234 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,103 What's going on? 235 00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:33,206 I just don't like change and it's scary. And it's just another with... 236 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,862 everything else that's going on in the family, 237 00:14:35,862 --> 00:14:36,965 it just feels like... 238 00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:41,689 yet another thing. [cries] 239 00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:45,275 But I also know that you're the only one who cares about it, too. 240 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,275 I do. 241 00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:52,275 I mean, as long as you're really truly gonna still be here-- 242 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:55,758 I'm gonna have a house. I'm gonna have an address. 243 00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,172 I'm gonna be here. 244 00:14:57,172 --> 00:15:00,068 -I'm gonna sleep there. -Okay. Okay. All right. 245 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:03,206 I just will also be up there. 246 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:07,379 She's very well aware of where mine and Kody's relationship stands. 247 00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:09,448 So she's like, "Mmm, are we sure?" 248 00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:11,551 I just... 249 00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:16,068 I just want you around. 250 00:15:17,758 --> 00:15:20,448 -So, always have. -I know. 251 00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:27,448 Is she gonna just keep putting more pieces there of herself there that will... 252 00:15:29,379 --> 00:15:31,482 eventually take her there all the way? 253 00:15:31,482 --> 00:15:34,586 It's scary to me because of what it looks like. 254 00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:38,000 And it's scary to me because I know I have 255 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,448 feared what you're gonna think that it is. 256 00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,068 And... 257 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:44,000 I know that... 258 00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:46,482 I know what Kody... 259 00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:49,000 he's just not gonna give a crap. 260 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,517 [Robyn] I know for Meri it's not just sitting around pining for Kody. 261 00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:56,000 It's about also her integrity and it's about her commitments 262 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:01,000 and she's a very devoted and loyal person when it comes to a commitment. 263 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,551 And so, you know, she doesn't take that lightly. 264 00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:11,448 -Are you okay with what you're thinking about? -It stresses me out. 265 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,172 -Like, on a lot of levels. -Because? 266 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:28,586 I just don't want it to look like what I think it's gonna be perceived as. 267 00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:30,310 Is that me you're worried about? 268 00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:33,689 -You or Kody. -What are you afraid he's gonna think? 269 00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:37,379 I think he'll be like, "Well, see? Told you so. 270 00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:38,551 She's the one that's leaving." 271 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,172 [scoffs] 272 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,586 [Robyn] I don't know what this future holds for her. 273 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,862 I just am grateful she's hanging on and I want her to continue to, 274 00:16:47,862 --> 00:16:49,689 but I feel selfish 275 00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:51,793 [cries] that this... 276 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:55,068 whole experience of being here and waiting... 277 00:16:58,793 --> 00:17:02,448 to see something can happen between her and Kody has got to be hard. 278 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:07,448 I just want her to be happy. 279 00:17:12,103 --> 00:17:16,310 [Meri] Part of me is just like, I care so much and I really, really 280 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:18,862 just want this to work out. 281 00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:22,896 I just really feel like that he is going to... 282 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:26,068 sometime realize that, you know, this is 283 00:17:26,068 --> 00:17:28,689 something that he committed to as well. 284 00:17:28,689 --> 00:17:31,482 And then we can work on moving forward. 285 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:34,655 I want him to work on this relationship with me. 286 00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:39,862 And also, like I don't care anymore, 287 00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:41,551 but I do care. 288 00:17:42,379 --> 00:17:43,862 I know what I really want. 289 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:55,965 If Kody changed, would you ever want a full marriage with him again? 290 00:17:57,758 --> 00:18:00,344 I'm mourning the loss of my family. 291 00:18:01,172 --> 00:18:04,689 Robyn hasn't reached out a lot. 292 00:18:15,034 --> 00:18:16,551 [Kody] Janelle and I met for lunch 293 00:18:16,551 --> 00:18:19,758 about six weeks after we had our fight at her apartment. 294 00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:21,103 I felt pretty contrived. 295 00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:26,172 I felt bad that we'd ever had it, but I hadn't talked to her... 296 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,655 in that six weeks. 297 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,689 I'm asking, let's get... let's work this out. 298 00:18:31,689 --> 00:18:36,379 Let's get this back together and she's going, "No, I just... I need more time. 299 00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,758 I'm enjoying myself too much without you." 300 00:18:41,379 --> 00:18:44,689 Our faith speaks against divorce, you know. 301 00:18:44,689 --> 00:18:46,000 I know. But does God tell you? 302 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,758 [Janelle] I don't know, I mean I feel fine with my decision. 303 00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,068 It's okay to grow, it's okay to change. 304 00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:53,034 -Yeah. -And sometimes your partner 305 00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:54,793 comes along and sometimes they don't. 306 00:18:54,793 --> 00:19:00,172 I have this fundamental conflict because we believe that marriages are a covenant 307 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,172 that goes beyond death even. 308 00:19:05,172 --> 00:19:09,344 There's really been no outright abuse, there's been no neglect, 309 00:19:09,344 --> 00:19:12,379 like there's been nothing that I can point my finger to 310 00:19:12,379 --> 00:19:14,379 and say, "I deserve a divorce." 311 00:19:14,379 --> 00:19:16,241 But I don't want to be married anymore. 312 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,344 I call Janelle regularly. Don't you want to try and get this worked out 313 00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:27,103 and stuff like that is what I'm asking. 314 00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:29,448 And she's like, "No, I don't think we can reconcile." 315 00:19:29,448 --> 00:19:32,689 She's not interested in a relationship with Robyn. 316 00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:35,068 She's not interested in a relationship with Meri, 317 00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:36,620 certainly not with Meri, I guess. 318 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:40,000 And how does that work for me? 319 00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:52,689 So, stuff with the kids and anything like that, we'll just... 320 00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:54,275 [Meri] Just let me know ahead of time. 321 00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,862 We'll talk about it and figure it out. Okay. 322 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:59,482 But you have to communicate with me, you have to call me once in a while. 323 00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:01,448 You have to text me. 324 00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:05,758 The last two years during this pandemic... 325 00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,862 basically on my own. 326 00:20:10,172 --> 00:20:13,862 Robyn hasn't reached out a lot. 327 00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:19,000 If she wants me there for something she's gonna have to let me know 328 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,586 there's something, in particular that I need to come home for. 329 00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,551 I've just gone inside myself. 330 00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:28,137 Why? 331 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,793 It's everything that's going on with the family. 332 00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,689 This stuff with the family, 333 00:20:35,689 --> 00:20:37,068 this stuff that's going on, 334 00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:38,655 is consuming me. 335 00:20:42,793 --> 00:20:45,241 I'm so worried about Kody and Janelle. 336 00:20:48,689 --> 00:20:51,586 And I don't know how to let it go. 337 00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:54,758 [Kody] It seems like Janelle has this admission in her soul 338 00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:57,793 where it's, like, "This doesn't work. 339 00:20:57,793 --> 00:21:01,448 And kids are almost raised. I guess I'm done." 340 00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:02,758 And I'm sitting here, going... 341 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,379 "Well... 342 00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:08,275 That's not the way I see it." 343 00:21:08,275 --> 00:21:10,241 But I don't know what I have to offer her. 344 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,344 Meri and I are getting along 345 00:21:12,344 --> 00:21:14,275 and we've waited long enough to, 346 00:21:14,275 --> 00:21:16,172 through this whole process, to get along. 347 00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:19,241 But Meri would like to reconcile 348 00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:21,275 and I'm just glad we're getting along. 349 00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:23,241 And reconciling, as far as our marriage, 350 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,551 I just don't know if that works for me. 351 00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,379 That's really big news. I mean, 352 00:21:32,379 --> 00:21:33,758 when we came for Christmas, 353 00:21:33,758 --> 00:21:36,379 I knew that I didn't know how final things were. 354 00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:38,241 Well, I don't know if I really knew either. 355 00:21:38,241 --> 00:21:39,000 Okay. 356 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,448 But in the last month or so... 357 00:21:40,448 --> 00:21:42,793 -I'm really realizing-- -It's final. 358 00:21:42,793 --> 00:21:44,103 See, it's hard for me to say it's final. 359 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,551 Oh, okay. So, you're not there yet. 360 00:21:45,551 --> 00:21:46,758 Well, no. I mean, I am-- 361 00:21:46,758 --> 00:21:48,689 -Separated, if that's comfortable. -Yeah, for sure. 362 00:21:48,689 --> 00:21:49,793 -Oh. -For sure. 363 00:21:49,793 --> 00:21:52,379 Okay. Well, that's great. That's great. 364 00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:53,586 Well, that's... 365 00:21:53,586 --> 00:21:54,586 [whispers] It's a lot. 366 00:21:54,586 --> 00:21:56,482 [chuckles] 367 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,965 [Christine] I don't think she's done yet. 368 00:21:57,965 --> 00:21:59,896 She still has affection for him. 369 00:21:59,896 --> 00:22:02,310 And she's just separated, very separated. 370 00:22:03,586 --> 00:22:05,172 I think Christine has felt like 371 00:22:05,172 --> 00:22:07,586 I was getting the raw end of this deal 372 00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:08,827 for a long time. 373 00:22:09,344 --> 00:22:10,551 And she took action, 374 00:22:10,551 --> 00:22:12,172 and now she feels like maybe 375 00:22:12,172 --> 00:22:14,103 I... I deserve something better. 376 00:22:15,482 --> 00:22:17,586 We're just gonna travel during holidays. 377 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,689 -Yup, that's what I think too. -Yes. 378 00:22:18,689 --> 00:22:20,448 So, like, this time it was perfect to have, 379 00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:22,344 like, Thanks... like, Christmas... 380 00:22:22,344 --> 00:22:24,172 Okay, so... She's... 381 00:22:24,172 --> 00:22:25,241 She's gone. 382 00:22:25,241 --> 00:22:26,482 -Serious. So, really... -Yeah. 383 00:22:26,482 --> 00:22:28,655 If Kody changed, 384 00:22:28,655 --> 00:22:31,793 would you ever want a full marriage with him again? 385 00:22:31,793 --> 00:22:33,965 Yes, but I think it's unrealistic. 386 00:22:33,965 --> 00:22:35,896 I think it's how he has always been. 387 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,103 I think he's vastly different than he used to be. 388 00:22:38,103 --> 00:22:40,379 -Okay, I keep thinking like he's different. -Vastly different. 389 00:22:40,379 --> 00:22:42,241 He's not the same person. 390 00:22:42,241 --> 00:22:44,689 -I don't-- He used to be-- -I couldn't be in love with who he is now. 391 00:22:44,689 --> 00:22:46,000 He used to be more... 392 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,172 Courageous? 393 00:22:47,172 --> 00:22:49,379 -It's so strange. -I don't know who he is. 394 00:22:49,379 --> 00:22:50,275 When I realized that-- 395 00:22:50,275 --> 00:22:51,551 Maybe that's what's changed 396 00:22:51,551 --> 00:22:53,689 'cause all of a sudden, it just doesn't work for me anymore. 397 00:22:53,689 --> 00:22:56,448 Like, I'm so not attracted to anybody like that. 398 00:22:56,448 --> 00:22:58,344 You know, Kody used to be so dynamic 399 00:22:58,344 --> 00:22:59,758 and so bold. 400 00:23:03,551 --> 00:23:06,000 [Christine] And everyone always wanted to be around him 401 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,241 'cause he was just always down for having a great time, 402 00:23:08,241 --> 00:23:09,482 but he didn't let other people control him. 403 00:23:09,482 --> 00:23:10,758 He was his own person. 404 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,551 [Janelle] He wants a wife who's all partnering with him 405 00:23:16,551 --> 00:23:18,344 and not independent and... 406 00:23:18,344 --> 00:23:20,896 And I'm, like, that will never be me. 407 00:23:20,896 --> 00:23:22,689 He is really advocating patriarchy, 408 00:23:22,689 --> 00:23:24,448 and I'm not that person. 409 00:23:27,275 --> 00:23:29,482 [Meri] This is not the happy-go-lucky, 410 00:23:29,482 --> 00:23:33,034 everything-is-positive- and-well-in-the-world 411 00:23:33,034 --> 00:23:35,310 Kody Brown that I used to know. 412 00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:39,620 He's been a very, very, very angry... 413 00:23:40,103 --> 00:23:41,551 I don't know how you do it. 414 00:23:43,586 --> 00:23:45,068 'Cause he's not who you married, 415 00:23:45,068 --> 00:23:46,551 he's not who I married. 416 00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,241 No, he hasn't been. 417 00:23:48,241 --> 00:23:49,655 No, he hasn't been. 418 00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:54,172 I don't think that I'm the only one that changed here. 419 00:23:54,172 --> 00:23:57,034 I think Christine went, "This is not the life I want. I'm out." 420 00:23:57,034 --> 00:24:00,344 And Janelle's just going, "Hey, why...This doesn't work for us." 421 00:24:00,896 --> 00:24:02,344 We've all changed. 422 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:04,620 I'm sad for him. 423 00:24:05,586 --> 00:24:06,448 You're sad for him? 424 00:24:06,448 --> 00:24:08,137 Yeah, I'm very sad for him. 425 00:24:08,551 --> 00:24:09,344 Yeah. 426 00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:13,068 [Meri] It's really sad 427 00:24:13,068 --> 00:24:15,448 seeing him go downhill. 428 00:24:15,448 --> 00:24:17,000 Why is he so angry? 429 00:24:18,172 --> 00:24:19,034 Be... 430 00:24:19,034 --> 00:24:21,655 Robyn, I've heard him say he's glad. 431 00:24:22,379 --> 00:24:26,172 Sorry, I don't buy that he is lamenting, 432 00:24:27,793 --> 00:24:30,137 "Where has his family gone?" 433 00:24:30,137 --> 00:24:31,241 Because if he was, 434 00:24:31,241 --> 00:24:33,586 he would work more at it. 435 00:24:33,586 --> 00:24:35,655 When he gets really honest with himself, 436 00:24:36,137 --> 00:24:37,413 this has messed him up. 437 00:24:39,068 --> 00:24:41,586 So why doesn't he wanna do anything about it? 438 00:24:41,586 --> 00:24:42,689 What do you mean? 439 00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:44,241 -What's he supposed to do about it? -Like with me. 440 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,103 [sighs] 441 00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:47,758 [chuckles] 442 00:24:47,758 --> 00:24:51,000 That is the billion-dollar question. [chuckles] 443 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,793 I can sit there and ask those questions. 444 00:24:52,793 --> 00:24:54,793 I can say, "Why don't you figure this out? 445 00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,137 Why can't you work this out?" 446 00:24:57,586 --> 00:24:59,034 But... 447 00:24:59,034 --> 00:25:01,172 Kody's gonna do what Kody's gonna do. 448 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,517 Even with Janelle, like... 449 00:25:05,344 --> 00:25:06,896 Why isn't this... 450 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:09,655 Why aren't you reaching out there? 451 00:25:15,965 --> 00:25:18,379 I don't understand why Janelle's not reaching out to him either. 452 00:25:18,379 --> 00:25:21,517 I don't understand why people aren't trying. 453 00:25:26,172 --> 00:25:28,482 So, it's a new chapter for me. 454 00:25:28,482 --> 00:25:31,896 Janelle keeps telling me she doesn't enjoy our time together. 455 00:25:31,896 --> 00:25:33,172 She doesn't want a divorce, 456 00:25:33,172 --> 00:25:34,517 but she doesn't want me around. 457 00:25:35,068 --> 00:25:37,103 What Christine has done has 458 00:25:37,103 --> 00:25:38,137 messed him up. 459 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,896 I don't believe Christine said 460 00:25:41,896 --> 00:25:44,103 that every bit of our lives was hell. 461 00:25:55,896 --> 00:25:58,896 [Kody] Janelle keeps telling me she doesn't enjoy our time together. 462 00:25:58,896 --> 00:26:00,275 She doesn't want a divorce, 463 00:26:00,275 --> 00:26:02,000 but she doesn't want me around. 464 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,551 But I want the marriage to thrive for the sake of... 465 00:26:06,896 --> 00:26:08,551 our children, 466 00:26:08,551 --> 00:26:10,000 and for our honor. 467 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,241 I mean, divorce is embarrassing. 468 00:26:11,241 --> 00:26:13,379 I don't know why we're still in this culture of... 469 00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:15,448 of, like, "Divorce is shameful." 470 00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:17,172 But I don't wanna break up. 471 00:26:21,689 --> 00:26:23,689 One of the things Kody was really mad at me about, 472 00:26:23,689 --> 00:26:26,896 he said that I wasn't a good sister wife. 473 00:26:26,896 --> 00:26:29,034 I think he's only talking about one person. 474 00:26:29,034 --> 00:26:30,655 I'm sorry, but that's the reality. 475 00:26:30,655 --> 00:26:33,689 The thing is, I'm not not close with Robyn. 476 00:26:33,689 --> 00:26:35,655 I'm not, I'm not close with her. 477 00:26:35,655 --> 00:26:37,137 I'm not close with her. But-- 478 00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:38,551 That's the hardest thing to overcome 479 00:26:38,551 --> 00:26:41,793 is this whole idea that somehow she's been a victim. 480 00:26:41,793 --> 00:26:43,827 And I don't know if it would ever be overcome-able. 481 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,931 I don't consider myself a victim. 482 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:49,689 And I actually 483 00:26:49,689 --> 00:26:53,275 won't allow myself to indulge in that thought process 484 00:26:53,275 --> 00:26:55,172 'cause I don't like that. 485 00:26:55,172 --> 00:26:57,689 Um, it's like... 486 00:26:57,689 --> 00:27:01,586 pick yourself up, make it happen, be strong, 487 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:03,034 deal with your problems. 488 00:27:03,034 --> 00:27:04,379 You and I, we're-- 489 00:27:04,379 --> 00:27:06,137 You know, we were in the mud together with the kids, 490 00:27:06,137 --> 00:27:08,068 in that we raised the kids, they were the same age. 491 00:27:08,068 --> 00:27:10,172 She always wanted to have a separate childcare 492 00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,586 -for her kids and... -Yeah. 493 00:27:11,586 --> 00:27:12,896 -And that's okay. -Yeah. 494 00:27:12,896 --> 00:27:15,448 It's okay but it just didn't give us the opportunity. 495 00:27:15,448 --> 00:27:16,896 I think I could have done better 496 00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:18,482 as a sister wife, sure. 497 00:27:18,482 --> 00:27:19,965 Sure, absolutely. 498 00:27:19,965 --> 00:27:21,482 But I think I did a lot of things 499 00:27:21,482 --> 00:27:23,793 that were great as a sister wife. 500 00:27:23,793 --> 00:27:26,862 To me, being a sister wife means 501 00:27:26,862 --> 00:27:30,034 someone that is there to help you with your kids. 502 00:27:30,034 --> 00:27:33,172 When she decided to get a nanny, it really was... 503 00:27:33,172 --> 00:27:35,379 a line. It really was a line in the sand. 504 00:27:35,379 --> 00:27:37,586 Kody really gauged everything by the way 505 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:41,000 that Robyn perceived the relationships, 506 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,586 or that Kody perceived how we were with Robyn. 507 00:27:43,586 --> 00:27:46,793 How you treat Robyn is how... 508 00:27:46,793 --> 00:27:48,551 if you're a good sister wife or not. 509 00:27:51,655 --> 00:27:53,689 [Kody] The realization is happening now 510 00:27:53,689 --> 00:27:55,379 that friendship in a marriage 511 00:27:55,379 --> 00:27:58,379 is not enough to carry off the marriage. 512 00:27:58,379 --> 00:27:59,965 You gotta have more than friendship. 513 00:28:01,655 --> 00:28:03,965 [Janelle] Robyn plays this really weird card 514 00:28:03,965 --> 00:28:06,482 where she forgets or she doesn't know why, 515 00:28:06,482 --> 00:28:09,482 and that's a typical MO for her. 516 00:28:09,482 --> 00:28:11,758 I can't even bring anything up with Kody 517 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:13,689 about Robyn because she's perfect, 518 00:28:13,689 --> 00:28:14,793 she's supportive, 519 00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:16,758 she's the only one who's been loyal. 520 00:28:16,758 --> 00:28:19,206 Like, he just shuts it down. There's no communication. 521 00:28:21,172 --> 00:28:23,586 'Cause as Kody likes to say, "Robyn's done nothing wrong. 522 00:28:23,586 --> 00:28:26,137 She's the sweetest person that's ever come into the family, 523 00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:27,482 and she has given everything to us. 524 00:28:27,482 --> 00:28:30,448 So anything that you say to her that's cross is abusive." 525 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,000 Sorry, it's not real world. 526 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,241 My struggles with Janelle, especially recently, 527 00:28:35,241 --> 00:28:38,103 have been specific to my pain, 528 00:28:38,103 --> 00:28:39,034 how I feel with her. 529 00:28:39,034 --> 00:28:42,103 I never really talked about 530 00:28:42,103 --> 00:28:45,172 Janelle's and Robyn's relationship 531 00:28:45,172 --> 00:28:47,758 to anybody else like Christine or Janelle. 532 00:28:51,482 --> 00:28:53,655 [Robyn] I didn't really have big issues 533 00:28:53,655 --> 00:28:55,137 with my sister wives. 534 00:28:55,137 --> 00:28:56,793 I wanted relationships with them 535 00:28:56,793 --> 00:28:59,482 and that was a hard thing for me, but that's it. 536 00:28:59,482 --> 00:29:01,275 There was really not a lot to sit through 537 00:29:01,275 --> 00:29:02,896 and actually process through with Kody. 538 00:29:02,896 --> 00:29:05,275 This whole story about... 539 00:29:05,275 --> 00:29:10,103 that I turned him against them is ridiculous and bogus. 540 00:29:11,172 --> 00:29:13,793 They're just not dealing with their own issues. 541 00:29:13,793 --> 00:29:15,758 They need to stop talking about me. 542 00:29:19,172 --> 00:29:21,000 What Christine has done has... 543 00:29:22,758 --> 00:29:24,689 messed him up. 544 00:29:24,689 --> 00:29:26,275 And I don't... He doesn't want to admit it, 545 00:29:26,275 --> 00:29:28,275 but it's the truth. 546 00:29:28,275 --> 00:29:33,344 Christine totally just destroyed his past. 547 00:29:33,344 --> 00:29:38,172 Like, what he thought was a functional situation, 548 00:29:38,172 --> 00:29:40,344 she basically said it was horrible 549 00:29:40,344 --> 00:29:43,482 every single minute of every single day type of thing. 550 00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,896 Stories upon stories of all of the things 551 00:29:45,896 --> 00:29:48,655 that she was going through and not about... 552 00:29:50,379 --> 00:29:53,103 you and Janelle as much as him. 553 00:29:54,379 --> 00:29:57,551 I'm not gonna be responsible for Kody's losing his religion. 554 00:29:57,551 --> 00:29:58,586 That's ridiculous. 555 00:29:58,586 --> 00:30:00,655 To put me as the scapegoat 556 00:30:00,655 --> 00:30:03,275 for him for losing his faith... 557 00:30:03,275 --> 00:30:05,896 I never had that much power over Kody. 558 00:30:05,896 --> 00:30:09,896 I don't believe that Christine said 559 00:30:09,896 --> 00:30:12,482 that every bit of our lives was hell. 560 00:30:12,482 --> 00:30:14,103 I believe she had frustrations. 561 00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:18,482 And if that's what Kody interpreted it as, 562 00:30:18,482 --> 00:30:20,172 and... 563 00:30:20,172 --> 00:30:22,034 relayed to Robyn 564 00:30:22,034 --> 00:30:24,620 as such, I don't think that's fair. 565 00:30:25,655 --> 00:30:27,551 I wasn't there. I'm getting what... 566 00:30:27,551 --> 00:30:30,344 I'm explaining to you what he said to me. 567 00:30:30,344 --> 00:30:33,068 But it was just basically like the... 568 00:30:33,068 --> 00:30:36,379 all the years, every single... all of it was hell. 569 00:30:36,379 --> 00:30:38,000 It does not surprise me at all 570 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,379 that Christine has complaints about me, 571 00:30:40,379 --> 00:30:41,896 or complaints about Janelle 572 00:30:41,896 --> 00:30:43,689 or complaints about Kody or Robyn. 573 00:30:43,689 --> 00:30:47,034 I get it. I have had complaints about every single one of them. 574 00:30:52,068 --> 00:30:55,000 Like, this is just what happens 575 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,551 in a family, unless you're 100% perfect. 576 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:59,724 And I don't know anybody who is. 577 00:31:03,379 --> 00:31:05,068 [Janelle] I think being a sister wife is tough 578 00:31:05,068 --> 00:31:07,000 and you are kind of mean to each other sometimes. 579 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,862 But there's also really good times. 580 00:31:09,862 --> 00:31:12,172 [Kody] These ladies have no idea the struggles 581 00:31:12,172 --> 00:31:14,586 that Christine and I have gone through. 582 00:31:14,586 --> 00:31:18,000 I just don't think Christine was a good fit in polygamy. 583 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,896 Okay. But I'm not a bad sister wife. 584 00:31:19,896 --> 00:31:21,275 -No. -I mean, I think I'm fine. 585 00:31:21,275 --> 00:31:22,896 No. I think, in fact, we're gonna have more fun now 586 00:31:22,896 --> 00:31:24,172 because, like, we get to be sister wives 587 00:31:24,172 --> 00:31:25,379 without all the other crazy stuff. 588 00:31:25,379 --> 00:31:26,551 Oh, my gosh, I know. 589 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,241 -We'll always be sister wives. Isn't that funny? -Yeah. 590 00:31:28,241 --> 00:31:31,275 I'm just realizing, I didn't really know if I was a sister wife anymore 591 00:31:31,275 --> 00:31:33,586 and it was after our last conversation. 592 00:31:33,586 --> 00:31:35,551 I'm, like, "Oh, I'll always be a sister wife with Janelle." 593 00:31:35,551 --> 00:31:37,034 -[chuckles] -We're always gonna be sister wives. 594 00:31:37,034 --> 00:31:38,448 -Right? -Yeah, yeah. 595 00:31:38,448 --> 00:31:39,241 I think so. 596 00:31:39,241 --> 00:31:40,482 I... No, definitely. 597 00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:42,241 And whoever we remarry will have to just... 598 00:31:42,241 --> 00:31:43,344 It's part of it. 599 00:31:43,344 --> 00:31:44,689 If I marry a plural family, it won't be a big deal. 600 00:31:44,689 --> 00:31:46,310 Right. But I'm, like, a package deal here. 601 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,241 Things are gonna change. 602 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,241 You know, things will change. But... 603 00:31:51,241 --> 00:31:54,689 But I think that, um, the relationship we have 604 00:31:54,689 --> 00:31:58,034 doesn't go away just because she and Kody are no longer married, 605 00:31:58,034 --> 00:32:00,344 or that I and Kody are no longer together. 606 00:32:06,172 --> 00:32:07,206 I get it. 607 00:32:08,448 --> 00:32:09,862 He's trying to survive. 608 00:32:11,379 --> 00:32:12,448 I get it. 609 00:32:14,275 --> 00:32:15,931 He's trying to survive the pain. 610 00:32:17,655 --> 00:32:20,448 As long as this is just kind of... 611 00:32:21,379 --> 00:32:22,379 what you gotta do 612 00:32:22,379 --> 00:32:25,206 and there's no permanency to it and... 613 00:32:25,655 --> 00:32:27,758 I'm literally just... 614 00:32:32,482 --> 00:32:35,344 doing the next thing that I know how to do. 615 00:32:35,344 --> 00:32:38,241 [Robyn] I just want her and Kody to get it figured out. 616 00:32:38,241 --> 00:32:40,551 And I want us, like, Kody and Janelle 617 00:32:40,551 --> 00:32:41,586 to get it figured out. 618 00:32:41,586 --> 00:32:44,448 And I just wanna build our family back together. 619 00:32:44,448 --> 00:32:47,000 So I'm always worried she's finally gonna say, 620 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,758 "Okay, I can't do this anymore." 621 00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:51,000 And I wouldn't blame her. 622 00:32:54,344 --> 00:32:56,586 [Janelle] I think it would take a really great unifying force 623 00:32:56,586 --> 00:32:58,758 to being about any kind of change 624 00:32:58,758 --> 00:33:01,000 or bringing people to the table even. 625 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,586 I don't know if the will is there, or the desire. 626 00:33:03,586 --> 00:33:05,482 This is something we did together. 627 00:33:05,482 --> 00:33:07,586 The mistakes that we made, we did together. 628 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,379 Stop pointing fingers. 629 00:33:09,379 --> 00:33:11,000 Every single wife in this family 630 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,000 had the opportunity to have a great relationship with me. 631 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,862 If we didn't have a good relationship, 632 00:33:15,862 --> 00:33:18,482 or if weren't working on that great relationship, 633 00:33:18,482 --> 00:33:22,034 it was because the two of us weren't working. 634 00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:25,172 It has nothing to do with what somebody else did. 635 00:33:25,172 --> 00:33:27,689 I feel like Robyn and I are probably the only ones 636 00:33:27,689 --> 00:33:29,586 in the family who are really willing 637 00:33:29,586 --> 00:33:31,896 to have those hard conversations 638 00:33:31,896 --> 00:33:33,896 because we see value in the family, 639 00:33:33,896 --> 00:33:36,965 we see value in healthy relationships. 640 00:33:36,965 --> 00:33:39,586 And the way that you have healthy relationships 641 00:33:39,586 --> 00:33:41,241 is by having conversations 642 00:33:41,241 --> 00:33:43,448 and sometimes, conversations can be hard. 643 00:33:48,448 --> 00:33:50,344 No, I remember every... My... 644 00:33:50,344 --> 00:33:52,482 One of my biggest frustrations was 645 00:33:52,482 --> 00:33:54,689 every family party that I threw, 646 00:33:54,689 --> 00:33:56,137 he would come and be a guest at. 647 00:33:56,137 --> 00:33:57,551 Yet... 648 00:33:57,551 --> 00:33:59,689 he was always helping throw parties at Robyn's 649 00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:01,068 every time he's there. 650 00:34:01,586 --> 00:34:02,586 They were just a couple 651 00:34:02,586 --> 00:34:04,034 and we were just kinda there on the sidelines. 652 00:34:04,034 --> 00:34:05,000 That's how I felt. 653 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,931 That's how it feels like what it's evolved to. 654 00:34:09,896 --> 00:34:11,655 [Christine] Janelle's not going to get snarky with me. 655 00:34:11,655 --> 00:34:13,585 And honestly, 656 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,275 it's not over for Janelle. 657 00:34:15,275 --> 00:34:17,000 It's just not, so of course she doesn't wanna sit here 658 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,344 and get snarky. 659 00:34:18,344 --> 00:34:20,379 Christine is throwing a lot of things out about Kody and Robyn. 660 00:34:20,379 --> 00:34:23,275 And while I'm getting kind of a good laugh 661 00:34:23,275 --> 00:34:24,896 about them, 662 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:28,344 I have to be really careful at this point 663 00:34:28,344 --> 00:34:31,241 to make sure I keep my judgment clear. 664 00:34:31,241 --> 00:34:33,172 Like, I have to be really careful 665 00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:34,965 to stay in this place 666 00:34:34,965 --> 00:34:37,482 where I'm in touch with what I'm thinking. 667 00:34:37,482 --> 00:34:40,344 And to not be influenced one way or the other, 668 00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:42,688 so I can make a clear decision for myself 669 00:34:42,688 --> 00:34:44,655 on what's going on with me. 670 00:34:49,344 --> 00:34:51,172 Okay. So you haven't been heartbroken? 671 00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:52,965 You don't cry, you haven't' been... 672 00:34:53,482 --> 00:34:54,757 Oh, my gosh. 673 00:34:54,757 --> 00:34:57,586 It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 674 00:34:57,586 --> 00:34:59,896 I'm always torn between 675 00:34:59,896 --> 00:35:03,172 looking at her and saying, "Go find your happiness," 676 00:35:03,172 --> 00:35:05,862 and saying, "Please, figure it out with us here." 677 00:35:15,896 --> 00:35:19,000 I think I should probably tell him as well 678 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,586 and I wondered if you would be around when I told him. 679 00:35:22,586 --> 00:35:24,068 Yeah, I'll translate. 680 00:35:24,068 --> 00:35:27,068 'Cause he doesn't... he doesn't get me. 681 00:35:28,482 --> 00:35:30,965 I've been teased that I'm kinda... 682 00:35:30,965 --> 00:35:32,137 I can speak Kody. 683 00:35:35,137 --> 00:35:36,862 I think he is... 684 00:35:36,862 --> 00:35:40,241 trying to figure it out with Janelle and me and... 685 00:35:40,241 --> 00:35:43,551 And in his strange... 686 00:35:44,482 --> 00:35:46,000 way with you. 687 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,275 There's no question, Robyn. 688 00:35:48,275 --> 00:35:49,965 He's done with me. 689 00:35:51,172 --> 00:35:52,275 [sighs] 690 00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:54,034 There's no question. 691 00:35:54,034 --> 00:35:57,000 Meri, he talks about us all out on the property still. 692 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000 He talks about you out there. 693 00:36:01,379 --> 00:36:04,068 I know her goal is to stick it out until... 694 00:36:05,068 --> 00:36:07,172 they decide to figure it out. 695 00:36:07,172 --> 00:36:09,448 Well, I'm trying to give her a little bit of... 696 00:36:10,068 --> 00:36:12,344 rope to hang on to. [chuckles] 697 00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:14,206 I've heard him say things... 698 00:36:15,586 --> 00:36:17,862 that are not very kind about me. 699 00:36:17,862 --> 00:36:20,689 And that have made it very clear to me 700 00:36:20,689 --> 00:36:23,344 where he is in our relationship. 701 00:36:23,344 --> 00:36:26,034 How can he, on one hand, 702 00:36:26,034 --> 00:36:28,172 and be, like, "Yeah, she's part of my family. 703 00:36:28,172 --> 00:36:29,862 And I want her out at the property." 704 00:36:29,862 --> 00:36:31,482 And on the other hand, like, not even, 705 00:36:31,482 --> 00:36:33,068 hardly even talk to me? 706 00:36:33,068 --> 00:36:35,862 So, as long as you and Janelle 707 00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:37,827 are all good with him, 708 00:36:39,379 --> 00:36:41,758 then he's cool with plural marriage? 709 00:36:42,344 --> 00:36:43,551 What do you mean? 710 00:36:46,172 --> 00:36:50,172 I'm... That's the only plural marriage that he has left. 711 00:36:52,137 --> 00:36:54,965 It's not like he has given up on plural marriage. 712 00:36:55,586 --> 00:36:58,000 I don't understand that, please. I-- 713 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,068 I can only do what I can do here. 714 00:37:04,896 --> 00:37:06,896 [Kody] Meri and I went through an entire process here 715 00:37:06,896 --> 00:37:07,896 over the past seven years. 716 00:37:07,896 --> 00:37:09,275 And... 717 00:37:09,275 --> 00:37:12,379 We've gotten back to the place where I feel like we are... 718 00:37:12,379 --> 00:37:15,000 getting along. We get along with each other. 719 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,482 But I don't wanna reconcile the relationship 720 00:37:17,482 --> 00:37:19,655 because I don't think it's a fit for me. 721 00:37:21,896 --> 00:37:23,655 [Christine] Okay. So you haven't been heartbroken? 722 00:37:23,655 --> 00:37:25,896 You don't cry. You haven't been... 723 00:37:25,896 --> 00:37:27,379 -It was a relief. -Oh, my gosh. 724 00:37:27,379 --> 00:37:29,172 And we were... So, after the day we had the fight, 725 00:37:29,172 --> 00:37:31,000 when he left, I was kind of, like, stunned a little bit. 726 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,310 When did you have a fight? 727 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:33,896 Right before Christmas. 728 00:37:33,896 --> 00:37:35,793 -Oh, okay. -Maybe like 16th December, 729 00:37:35,793 --> 00:37:36,586 somewhere along-- 730 00:37:36,586 --> 00:37:38,000 Were you, like, basically kind of-- 731 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,896 I mean, he was completely yelling at me. 732 00:37:39,896 --> 00:37:41,896 Like, completely. Like, "You're gaslighting me," 733 00:37:41,896 --> 00:37:43,275 -blah, blah, blah. -Oh, my gosh. 734 00:37:43,275 --> 00:37:44,448 It was really crazy. 735 00:37:45,689 --> 00:37:47,517 [Janelle] Don't you dare point your finger at me. 736 00:37:48,379 --> 00:37:49,620 I've been here... 737 00:37:50,965 --> 00:37:52,965 day long, in and out, 738 00:37:52,965 --> 00:37:55,137 for all these years without your support 739 00:37:55,137 --> 00:37:57,275 while you are deciding what you're doing 740 00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:58,275 without consulting me. 741 00:37:58,275 --> 00:37:59,655 You know what, let me tell you what-- 742 00:37:59,655 --> 00:38:00,965 -No. -No, you stay and talk! 743 00:38:00,965 --> 00:38:02,344 I'm done listening to you. 744 00:38:02,344 --> 00:38:03,896 -Okay, so we're done? -Good-bye. 745 00:38:03,896 --> 00:38:05,034 [bleep] you. 746 00:38:10,172 --> 00:38:12,000 Later that day, I was driving around. I thought, 747 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,137 "Wow." There was like a... 748 00:38:13,137 --> 00:38:15,379 It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 749 00:38:15,379 --> 00:38:18,000 I don't think she realizes that 750 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,103 80%, 90% of all separations end in divorce. 751 00:38:22,068 --> 00:38:24,758 And I think it's a mistake, but whatever. 752 00:38:26,103 --> 00:38:27,655 I'm in this really weird place right now 753 00:38:27,655 --> 00:38:28,517 'cause I'm... 754 00:38:28,517 --> 00:38:30,275 I don't want Kody back at my house, 755 00:38:30,275 --> 00:38:31,896 and... 756 00:38:31,896 --> 00:38:34,931 there's really no legal mechanism that says we're divorced. 757 00:38:36,448 --> 00:38:37,965 But I'm not at all interested 758 00:38:37,965 --> 00:38:39,551 in any other kind of relationship. 759 00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:41,758 I'm not interested in dating. 760 00:38:41,758 --> 00:38:44,275 I mean, unless God somehow throws this guy 761 00:38:44,275 --> 00:38:46,448 right in my path and points with big arrows, 762 00:38:46,448 --> 00:38:47,896 "This is it, this is it, this is it," 763 00:38:47,896 --> 00:38:50,000 I'm just not... I'm just not interested. 764 00:38:51,068 --> 00:38:52,896 So, it's a new chapter for me. 765 00:38:52,896 --> 00:38:54,551 It is a new chapter for you. 766 00:38:54,551 --> 00:38:55,862 How are you feeling? 767 00:38:56,586 --> 00:38:58,103 I still don't know, 768 00:38:58,103 --> 00:38:59,689 but it feels optimistic 769 00:38:59,689 --> 00:39:01,586 and it feels like there's lots of options. 770 00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:05,379 This summer's looking a lot more exciting than last summer. [chuckles] 771 00:39:05,379 --> 00:39:07,000 Last summer was hard. 772 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,344 I moved last summer. 773 00:39:08,344 --> 00:39:10,862 I remember when I told you I was leaving, 774 00:39:10,862 --> 00:39:12,344 you did cry. 775 00:39:12,344 --> 00:39:13,896 -I did. -I remember. 776 00:39:13,896 --> 00:39:16,275 -I did cry. -You cried over me leaving, 777 00:39:16,275 --> 00:39:17,896 -not you leaving Kody. -[laughs] 778 00:39:17,896 --> 00:39:19,172 Yeah, no, I did cry. 779 00:39:19,172 --> 00:39:20,172 -That was like-- -You did. 780 00:39:20,172 --> 00:39:21,689 I knew that it was like... That was... 781 00:39:21,689 --> 00:39:23,379 That's rare for me. So... 782 00:39:23,379 --> 00:39:25,655 You cried then, but not with you and Kody. 783 00:39:26,068 --> 00:39:27,000 No. 784 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,551 But we'll always raise the kids together. 785 00:39:28,551 --> 00:39:30,689 -We're always gonna be sister wives. -Yeah, yeah. 786 00:39:30,689 --> 00:39:32,551 Janelle and I have this bond. It's... 787 00:39:34,034 --> 00:39:35,551 It's cemented together. 788 00:39:35,551 --> 00:39:37,586 And nothing's gonna come between Janelle and I. 789 00:39:37,586 --> 00:39:40,034 [talking indistinctly] 790 00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:44,965 [Meri] My relationship within the family right now, 791 00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:46,482 and for quite a while, 792 00:39:46,482 --> 00:39:49,896 has been such that I don't know all the ins and outs 793 00:39:49,896 --> 00:39:52,379 of all the different relationships. 794 00:39:52,379 --> 00:39:54,689 Like, I just keep my distance 795 00:39:54,689 --> 00:39:56,689 and give them the respect and the space 796 00:39:56,689 --> 00:39:58,103 that they need to figure it out. 797 00:40:01,965 --> 00:40:03,241 [sighs] 798 00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:06,241 Well, I just wanted to tell you that. 799 00:40:06,896 --> 00:40:08,344 Okay. 800 00:40:08,344 --> 00:40:10,655 And hope you don't freak out too much, but... 801 00:40:12,379 --> 00:40:14,448 It's only five hours away. 802 00:40:14,448 --> 00:40:17,172 -Right. -And I'm there half of the time anyway. 803 00:40:17,172 --> 00:40:19,655 [Robyn] I'm always torn between 804 00:40:20,379 --> 00:40:22,310 just looking at her and saying, 805 00:40:24,482 --> 00:40:26,241 "Go find your happiness," 806 00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:30,413 and saying, "Please, figure it out with us here." 807 00:40:34,896 --> 00:40:35,965 You all right? 808 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:37,965 Do you get it? 809 00:40:38,965 --> 00:40:39,758 I... 810 00:40:42,275 --> 00:40:43,758 have a really good life. 811 00:40:44,862 --> 00:40:46,689 I have a lot of things going on 812 00:40:46,689 --> 00:40:48,482 and I have a lot of things on my plate. 813 00:40:48,482 --> 00:40:49,586 Yeah. 814 00:40:49,586 --> 00:40:51,551 And I just have to... 815 00:40:52,379 --> 00:40:55,344 keep doing those parts of my life 816 00:40:55,344 --> 00:40:57,000 with the people that want to... 817 00:40:58,482 --> 00:40:59,689 be involved in it. 818 00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:00,862 Mmm-hmm. 819 00:41:03,068 --> 00:41:04,034 So... 820 00:41:05,275 --> 00:41:06,827 That's what I need to do. 821 00:41:11,793 --> 00:41:15,758 I love Kody but I'd never wanted to live monogamy. 822 00:41:15,758 --> 00:41:17,655 And it feels like more and more 823 00:41:17,655 --> 00:41:20,689 that's where it's kind of headed. 824 00:41:20,689 --> 00:41:23,482 And I feel angry. 825 00:41:23,482 --> 00:41:25,275 I'm really angry. 826 00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:27,137 I wanted to live plural marriage. 827 00:41:28,137 --> 00:41:30,137 And, um... 828 00:41:31,379 --> 00:41:33,241 I feel like, uh... 829 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,758 I'm starting to feel a little tricked or something. 830 00:41:36,275 --> 00:41:38,172 Or like, uh, 831 00:41:38,172 --> 00:41:40,137 people are making decisions for my life 832 00:41:40,137 --> 00:41:41,586 that I did not choose. 833 00:41:41,586 --> 00:41:44,862 It's making me very angry and very depressed. 834 00:41:53,275 --> 00:41:55,241 [narrator] Next time on Sister Wives... 835 00:41:55,241 --> 00:41:57,482 I'm not pressuring you, kind of, to move. 836 00:41:57,482 --> 00:41:59,137 I mean, it's all on the table at this point. 837 00:41:59,137 --> 00:42:01,862 If things are as bad as they think they are, 838 00:42:01,862 --> 00:42:03,448 why not move on? 839 00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:07,344 I'm gonna be moving my clothing business up to Utah. 840 00:42:07,344 --> 00:42:09,586 This does not mean I'm leaving 841 00:42:09,586 --> 00:42:10,965 the family or you. 842 00:42:10,965 --> 00:42:12,068 Hmm. 843 00:42:12,068 --> 00:42:13,655 It actually has no effect on me. 844 00:42:13,655 --> 00:42:16,965 I've got one wife that I've got a great relationship with, 845 00:42:16,965 --> 00:42:20,000 and I'm afraid if I abandon these women, 846 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,689 that she'll lose respect for me. 847 00:42:22,689 --> 00:42:24,344 [Janelle] So this is my first birthday 848 00:42:24,344 --> 00:42:26,896 since Kody and I had our big fight about six months ago. 849 00:42:26,896 --> 00:42:29,275 Good, we'll have just a fun, easy evening, right? 850 00:42:29,275 --> 00:42:31,241 I kinda feel like a guy on a first date 851 00:42:31,241 --> 00:42:33,034 that's like jonesing, you know? 852 00:42:33,034 --> 00:42:36,000 Like, "Hey, are we gonna kiss after this date?"