[narrator] Previously onSister Wives...
I do think I want to stay separated.
[Kody] We've been separated two or three times in the past.
I always felt like that was because she couldn't manage
the relationship with her sister wives.
Maybe I was wrong.
[Robyn] Kody's gonna do what Kody's gonna do.
Even with Janelle, like...
Why aren't you reaching out there?
He's gonna be very, very angry.
I don't know how you do it.
[Meri] 'Cause he's not who you married, he's not who I married.
No, he hasn't been.
[Meri] It's really sad
seeing him go downhill.
Okay, so you haven't been heartbroken.
You don't cry, you haven't been... Oh, my gosh.
It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
So, you're leaving Kody? You're done?
-Well... -Does he know you're done?
I think he just likes to string people along.
He's exhausting.
[Meri] I'm going to be moving my clothing business up to Utah.
I've been travelling back and forth between Parowan and Flagstaff
like a lot over the past year and it's just getting to be too much.
I already told Robyn
and I did ask her if she would mind coming over when I told Kody
because for some reason he seems to be able to hear what she says
when he doesn't really hear what I say.
-Hey. -[Robyn] Hey.
I always want to try to be supportive
of, you know, Kody's relationship with any of his wives.
I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like I don't know what I can do,
but I want to try to help.
I just realized my hair's kind of crazy, I better grab my glasses to hold it.
[laughs] Okay.
I never know what Meri's calling me over for.
"Hey, I need to talk to you. Can you come talk to me?" Okay.
You know, I just leave it at that.
[knocking on door]
[Meri] Come in.
-Hey, Meri. -[Meri] Hi.
How's it going?
Good, how are you? Come on in.
Honestly, I don't think that Kody's really even gonna care.
Actually, if it would be like... kind of
a slap in the face of realization... for him,
that would be really cool.
But I don't really have a whole lot of hope for that either.
So is it all right if I sit here where your book is?
-Yes. -I don't want to sit in the middle.
Just wanted to sit in here.
Oof.
-What's up? -Not much.
-What's up with you? -[Kody] Really?
I don't know where to start.
Meri and I don't a marriage really, kind of.
Robyn is very sensitive to what other people see.
So Robyn like keeps her distance from me a lot when I'm around Meri.
Or when I'm around any wives.
This is something that we've discussed as a family for years.
Do we show affection in front of the other wives?
'Cause other polygamists are able to
and we just have never been able to.
[Meri] I know that when I've been in a good place with him
then it doesn't bother me
when he's showing affection to somebody else.
Because I know that he cares about me.
But then when you don't have a really good relationship with him,
and you're feeling a little bit more insecure,
it's gonna be hard to see him being all PDA with somebody else.
This is the type of discussion that we've all had through the years,
and that's kind of, I guess, where we came up
with the conclusion that it's probably best to be a little bit more careful
and a little bit more reserved in front of...
the other women.
So it's interesting that Kody is seeming to kind of have an issue
with it now that we're not supposed to show any affection
around each other, you know.
Things going okay?
Oh, yeah. Everything's going good. Is everything going good?
I think everything's going good.
[sighs]
[Robyn] Things are not good.
I'm not okay with what's going on with the family.
I'm really, really struggling with it.
[Kody] It's really awkward because the only wife I have a relationship with right now
is Robyn.
But we've never been allowed to essentially be in love with each other,
or find solace in each other.
'Cause this kind of quasi-plural marriage mess that's been going on.
And now everybody else is leaving, everybody else is gone.
We're having these struggles with everybody else.
But we still don't feel like we can expose
our... place of solace. Our love for each other in any way.
This is not a safe place for us.
Okay, well, thanks for coming over. I told Robyn this the other day.
I just thought I'd let you know. [laughs]
That I, um...
am going to downsize.
[sighs]
And get a smaller place and move my clothing business out to the B and B.
So I'll just be spending more time up there.
Cool. That's good, right?
Or is it just because you have to?
We talked about this before and she was like, "Kody's just not gonna care,
and he's gonna be all good with it and stuff."
And I'm like, "Please say the right thing."
Please.
Please give her something to hang on to.
Um, sorry, I'm distracted by your ring.
That's a different ring.
[laughs] Is that not something I should say?
-[Kody] Just a ring. -It's a cool ring, right?
-It's a cool ring. -Wow, that sounded awkward.
[Kody] There's so much nuance going on here.
Distracted by a ring?
[stammers] I... What is going on?
It's weird that he's being so awkward about it.
Like if he doesn't want me to see the ring, don't wear it to my house.
-I didn't mean to step in the middle of something there. -[Kody] I don't...
No, no, please.
[Meri] I did notice that it was replacing the carter ring
that we all used to wear together.
I mean, I have no idea what this ring is or where it came from,
if he got, if Robyn got it for him, if they got it together,
I literally have no idea and frankly I don't care.
Garrison bought a house in Flagstaff.
So we're gonna go look at it. I'm super excited.
-Okay, here it is. -Okay.
There's a discussion about Gwen and Gabe
both moving in with Garrison as roommates.
Is this a good idea? We don't know.
-Hey, guys. -Hi.
-This is a robbery. -Okay.
I'm very reticent about Gwendlyn moving in with Gabe and Garrison.
Politically, they're very, very, very different.
And then Gwendlyn has a dog.
Gabe has a dog.
There's a cat. Cathy's Garrison's cat.
I just think it sounds very problematic.
I kind of want to show them what rooms you're thinking too.
-[Garrison] Yes. -Do we have to call rooms?
You... Well, it's gonna be based off of me.
It's 'cause one of the rooms has two closets and has a lot of closest space,
but it's a little bit smaller.
And then one of the rooms has like middle closest space, but it's a lot bigger, um...
I might need to compensate for a lack of closet space...
-[Garrison] Okay. -...considering I came out.
[laughs]
Gwendlyn came out of the closet as bisexual,
oh, my gosh, over a year ago.
That went over my head until they started laughing.
[Christine] You're funny. You're funny.
It took us all a second to get though, right?
We're sitting there and it took a second to process it.
Gwendlyn has come out.
-So... -So you guys need to look at the bathroom,
'cause you're gonna be sharing a bathroom.
Listen, I have accidentally used men's restrooms.
They're disgusting.
Walked in the wrong door and I used the bathroom.
And I go up to wash my hands
and I'm like, "Oh, that's a weird scene."
[Garrison] Yeah, it's small so we incorporate shower caddies.
Or, um, there's a closet that can hold your stuff.
So Gabe and Garrison are my biological children.
And Gwen is Christine's biological child.
They all lived together in one house back when we lived in Utah,
but after we moved to Las Vegas, we all had separate homes.
But they still function in every respect as brother and sister.
-They high ceilings make a huge different. -Oh, my gosh.
I can fit.
So at this point,
uh, our family... Uh, to use an analogy, kind of feels like...
We've all abandoned ship in different life boats.
Every individual mom is doing a great job
of at keeping their unit together.
I think it's really nice that my mom and her kids
and Christine and her kids can actually maintain
a really functional relationship.
It gives me a lot of hope that we can still have
this warm place for each other.
There other thing is I'll be sending you guys leases,
and, um, if you guys... For my... Just for the first set of leases,
we'd have you guys be co-signers.
That's just to cover me and if we all get in a fight or something,
we're still, you guys are still legally bound to pay rent or something.
[Christine and Janelle laugh]
-So... -When. It's when they fight.
When. Mmm.
You know what, Gwen? I'm gonna leave my caddie in the shower!
Oh, Gabe!
[Gwen] I'm gonna stop cleaning up my dog's poops.
-[all exclaim] -Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
The thing is they are siblings. They are.
And sometimes siblings can move in with each other,
and sometimes they can't.
And could it hurt them permanently? Possibly.
I mean, come on. I don't know what would happen.
I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
because, sorry, I still have hope, okay?
Conversations like this
basically tell me, "Go ahead, Meri, and just live your life
on your own like you've been doing because nothing else is gonna change."
I'm not pressuring you kind of to move.
I mean, it's all on the table at this point.
If things are as bad as I think they are,
why not move on?
I think the more time Meri spends at the B and B,
for her, it's sort of like her safe and happy place.
I'm like, "Okay, cool, you're moving your business to the B and B."
Okay, sounds like a natural course of action.
So, um, so that's a good thing, right?
I mean, like, you were having a hard time getting help.
Is that why?
Um, no, it's really more just about
that I'm... In the past year since Mom passed,
I am spending a lot of time on the road,
and I'm not able to focus on one or the other
as much as I need to so I need to put them in the same place.
I wonder if I'm supposed to be reading between the lines here.
I can't tell if she's saying, "Hey, I'm gonna move my business to the B and B,"
so I go, "No, no, Meri, please don't. Stay here."
'Cause I don't see her that often.
But I'm not trying to act like we're getting back
into this marriage full-fledged.
I'm not trying to do that.
I think I see the writing on the wall.
I'm literally waiting for her to catch up.
Are you gonna leave the clothes on the racks when you move?
-Probably not. -[Kody] Probably not? Okay.
They won't move very well on the racks.
I just know that you've done that before.
-You used to haul them in the trailer on the racks. -[Meri] Mmm-mmm.
The racks wouldn't roll when I wanted to.
-I thought that was a great idea. -Well, I remember having them
in there in that trailer, but it was just a couple of racks.
And I remember someone coming up to me at one of your sells,
and I was closing the door and she said,
and I grabbed them, I had them in my hand,
she finally goes, "Ah, I'm just gonna buy them."
-It's funny. I don't remember that at all. -It was at Odd Works.
in the Las Vegas.
See? This is why I wonder if there's still something there.
He's talking about something that happened five, six, seven years ago.
I don't know. You just don't remember that stuff
if they're not somebody important in your life.
It freaked me out though. So I was...
I was stressed out about it 'cause I was worried.
-Oh. -We'll just have to make sure that we're...
-Scheduling. -Yep.
He's scowling at you.
Schedule... What are you...
In order for us to see each other.
Yeah.
Robyn and Meri are still talking about
this relationship that the three of us have
like we're a family.
And what I'm gathering from what Robyn is saying
is like, "Well, you gotta be around because this is your wife."
And I'm like...
And I just don't need that kind of pressure from you.
[Robyn] You know, there's a lot that's been going down with our family.
And it's been very frustrating to watch.
Uh, it's all of them doing it.
It's Kody with Christine, and Kody with Janelle,
and I have no say and I have no influence whatsoever.
And[sighs] , it's like Meri's here and she's still trying to hang on.
And I just feel like there's so little left.
And I'm like... trying to show her that there's still some hope.
And Kody is not helping me with that.
It's very frustrating.
And some days it feels like a dealbreaker.
[Christine] I'm just telling you guys, I told your mom.
I live in a townhouse.
And my neighbor was... once to get out of his contract early,
so he talked to me, he's like, "You have a big family, Christine,
do you have anybody that might want to move in?"
And I talked to your mom totally about moving in next to me.
Just saying it would be fun.
But she said no.
-She was so-- -[Christine] No. She rejected me, hardcore.
It was like a slam no!
-I don't know if it was that. -[Christine] I'm just saying, I would love it.
If things are as bad as I think they are
between Kody and Janelle,
why start planting your roots?
Why not move on?
I'm not pressuring you kind of to move.
-[Janelle] Kind of? -Sort of. Sort of.
No, I know. I mean, it's all on the table at this point.
Okay, because I would really love to be next to Maddie and the babies.
Oh, yes.
So maybe we have a bunch of houses all over the country
-that we just buy together. -[Christine] You know what?
-Why don't we think about that? -[Janelle] Well, seriously.
Property is a lot cheaper in North Carolina than Flagstaff or Utah
to be completely honest.
And so I don't know, we just...
talk about a lot of things but to just get back together again.
I loved our Christmas.
I loved when we got together at the rental.
So for me, is that kind of what you're...
I could host it. I could host Christmas.
Isn't that what you're thinking is that kind of a thing
where we can just all hang out together.
If we want to just make it easy, so we're not trying to figure out rentals
and where everybody's gonna be,
if this is an option, we're gonna do Christmas,
can we do Christmas here? Yes.
A couple days after Christmas, Mykelti, Truely and I went down to Flagstaff,
and we hung out with Janelle and some of her kids
at a house that we rented.
And it was so fun, we tried to do as many traditions as possible.
We had a really great time seeing everybody.
Kody didn't go over to the rental at all
for Christmas. He didn't go over.
He didn't call them on Christmas day.
You guys think from now on it might just be separate things
Thanksgivings and Christmas and not doing it all together?
Christine, wherever you're having Thanksgiving, I want to have Thanksgiving.
I'm not going to get together with everybody for Christmas.
I'll hang out with Janelle and her kids.
But I... I have no plan on... I'm not gonna. No. Mmm-mmm.
Really, truly the holidays are permanently altered at this point.
I do not foresee that Kody and I will probably ever spend a holiday again.
I admit there's a lot of things we could do, but,
yeah, I think we could always plan on doing...
-Doing together. -...some variation of together.
We and Garrison are at odds with my Dad because
when we expressed our discontent with how things were going with COVID,
I was met with, like, just a wall.
Like, and there was no line of dialogue.
Um, I think that that is what really drove the wedge
between... between us.
I would love to celebrate things with you. I loved Christmas.
-[Garrison] Yeah. -So coming back for Christmas,
I think it'd be kind of like that.
Where it would just be like... I'll do... We'll just figure out the holidays.
-[Janelle] It's gonna look different every year. -I want to do that forever.
-Yeah, definitely. -I think it'll look different every year,
-but we'll always do some sort of together. -[Christine] Yeah.
It feels very permanent that things are going to be separate.
My kids...
My kids are more used to Kody not being in their life.
He just wasn't around as much.
But he has been around Janelle's kids.
I have worried about my boy's mental health.
Gabriel feels everything very, very deeply,
but he's also the kid who doesn't say anything.
And Garrison...
Just seems...
Angrier. Sadder.
Like he's not as happy-go-lucky as he used to be.
[Christine] For them, this is just a lot more devastating
than it has been for my kids.
I don't have a problem saying it.
But I think Kody's gonna have a problem hearing it.
-This does not mean I'm leaving the family or you. -Mmm.
Okay, good on you, Meri.
It actually has no effect on me.
I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
because, sorry, I still have hope.
In my head, I'm really wondering why she lives in Flagstaff.
So, are you going to actually... [laughs]
-What? -Address the concern that you have?
What concern?
[sighs]
No, I'm not going to... Why would I address that concern?
Well, no, you wanted to make it, something specifically clear, so...
[sighs] Fine.
I didn't want Robyn to think, or you to think, but, like, really, it's...
-Let's-- -No, just don't.
-Just... -What?
Why are you so weird?
-I'm the weird one? -[laughs]
I'm trying to get Meri to tell Kody that
her moving her business up there
does not mean she's not still committed.
And he needs to know it.
-Just tell him what you want-- -I'm not the one who's finalized anything.
[sighs]
I don't have a problem saying it, but...
I think Kody's gonna have a problem hearing it.
Just [exhales]... Just...
-This does not mean I'm leaving the family or you. -Mmm.
So, it really is purely just
a business thing.
Okay, good on you, Meri.
It actually has no affect on me.
So Lizzie's is all about sort of this
-sort of fun heritage thing -[Meri] Mmm-hmm.
[Kody] You know, family heritage.
And if you're living there and running the business from there,
is there a need to have Lizzie's continue,
or is that more of just like something that's special?
I'm just trying to understand.
I'm gonna say this,
and you're gonna download it to your hard drive.
This house is sentimental,
and it doesn't matter what it is.
-I understand. -It's... Do you?
-[chuckles] You keep talking business-like. -I'm... No, no, no, no.
Keeping the house was the important thing.
Having the house was the important thing.
Having the house for the family is the important thing.
I've always known that.
And I didn't agree with her buying it
because it was just sentimental.
But I'm glad she did it
because it gave her a great experience
with her mother's last years.
So I'm not complaining about her B and B.
I'm just questioning what she's doing.
What are you doing, Meri?
In my head, I'm really wondering why she lives in Flagstaff.
I think what it is that he is not getting...
It's just you can't say it to him.
[chuckles] I can say it to him.
Um, and hasn't since day one,
is that I didn't buy this house for me to live in.
And I didn't buy it for me to move out,
and to leave the family, and to leave you, and move up there.
That's not why I bought it.
That never was my intention.
-And you... -I'm not saying that's what you're saying.
I know. But you've always kind of, like,
it has felt to me that that's kind of what you've implied.
I don't think that's what's going on.
[Robyn] So... But why would she have a house,
like, just sitting there empty
if she's not gonna try and rent it as a business?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
-Okay, what are you saying? -I'm not saying you don't live in the house.
-So you're misunderstanding me. -[Meri and Robyn] Okay.
I'm saying move into the house. Use it more.
-You know? -She doesn't want to move into it.
That's the point.
[Kody] You're just being forced to move into it.
[Robyn] She's not moving into it.
You're running your business out of it.
Yes, but she's not moving into it.
I'm still getting a house here in Flagstaff.
I'm gonna get a smaller house.
And I'm going to be living here.
Oh, and sometimes people have two homes.
[gasps] Oh, guess what?
So do polygamous men.
They have multiple homes.
And they live in both of them.
Usually.
I'm living in one room while I stay there.
It's still a business.
I understand.
I... Maybe I don't understand.
I mean, I am super confused.
She's taking up a room that's supposed to be there to be let out.
She's not "moving into it,"
but her business is gonna be there, both businesses.
And the only reason she has space in Flagstaff
is for a remote relationship with me and Robyn.
Kody's not sure why I would use one of the rooms that we would rent out.
Why does he care?
[chuckles] I mean, he hasn't cared what room I sleep in
for the last, you know, decade.
So I don't know why he'd care now, but,
does he not remember
[chuckles] that there was a space that my mom stayed in.
And she's clearly not using it anymore.
So maybe I just use that same space.
Listen, to be honest with you,
I'm, like, gonna break it all down,
like, what do I wanna do with it?
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't want to live there.
I don't want it to be my house.
-I've said since the second we were kicked out of Utah. -[Robyn] Yeah.
I don't want...
-...to live back in Utah. -Mmm-hmm.
I don't want you to think that I'm walking away
because, sorry, I still have hope, okay?
At this point with the house, with the business,
I have no idea what to do with it.
And it causes me more anxiety than you have any idea.
[sighs]
I was really just kind of hoping that he would care
a little bit more.
There wasn't really anything specific
that I wanted him to say or do.
I just wanted him to have an air of caring.
And that just was not there.
-[exhales] -She doesn't want it to be, like, her...
She doesn't wanna move there.
Mmm.
It just never was my intention.
It's not what I wanted.
But, like, conversations like this,
basically just tell me...
..."Go ahead, Meri, and just live your life
on your own like you've been doing
because nothing else is gonna change."
[Kody] What I'm seeing here...
...is... is Robyn being an advocate
of me, and Meri, and a reconciliation in our marriage.
And they're making me feel very uncomfortable.
I've got one wife that I've got a great relationship with.
And I'm afraid if I abandon these women,
that she'll lose respect for me.
I want a build a barndominium out there.
And you could live in that loft.
It's just insulting.
[Kody] I think the writing is on the wall.
It's been obvious to me.
It's not really fair to either of us.
But as long as she wants to live in this denial,
I guess I can live in it with her.
So, I'm in Flagstaff for Janelle's birthday.
But Maddy told me the other day that Janelle told her
that she's going to go out for her birthday with Kody.
You know, before Kody and I had our big fight,
we had reached a point where we were very...
We weren't connected.
And I was very frustrated with him
that he wasn't making an effort to see Savanah.
But on a very superficial level,
Kody and I can go and hang out,
and we can have, like, a great time
if I just compartmentalize and put away all the other stuff.
So when he called I'm like, "Yeah, hey."
It's better than staying at home and watching TV.
[Christine] I think they're at an interesting place.
A real interesting place in the relationship.
Janelle still loves him, still wants to be with him, as far as I know.
Um, I'm...
I know things are hard.
I don't know if Kody's worked things out with her kids.
And, like, I think that most of her kids
are pretty frustrated with him right now.
At this point, I really don't foresee
Kody and I working our relationship out.
I have to always be open to the possibility
that we will somehow be struck by lightning,
and then it will all be happily ever after.
But I'm also a realist.
And I know that it doesn't look good.
I told Maddie, I'm like, "Look,
your mom just needs to be happy.
Just whatever can make your mom happy,
that's what I'm gonna support her doing.
If she wants to stay, I'm gonna totally
support her staying in Flagstaff.
I'll support her staying with Kody,
or whatever she wants to do,
I'm going to support it, no problem."
You know, I really just hope we have this easy, nice time.
Our last interaction was
the worst fight we've probably had.
-You stay and talk. -Uh, no.
I'm not going to because you're not listening!
-You're not listening to me. -And I'm not going to.
-[Janelle] Okay, so we're done? -Goodbye.
[bleep] you!
I don't want any fighting.
I just wanna be easy, and have fun,
and celebrate the day.
[Kody] Meri doesn't know what she wants.
But she's asking me
and telling me stuff.
I'm just gonna throw out ideas.
And the reason is is 'cause she doesn't know what she wants.
I don't know what she wants.
And I've been guessing for 33 years what she wants.
Guessing.
'Cause she never knows.
Meri, do you have
any ability to, like, do something
crazy with Coyote Pass really fast?
Build a small house. Build a casita like Janelle's talking about.
-Just build something fast. -Kody, we can't do that.
From what I have understood you to say,
we can't do anything until we build,
till we divide the property.
My point isn't to do it right now.
I'm like, let's... let's get it paid for.
And once we've got it paid for,
we divide it and you build on it.
Okay. I don't know if you know where Janelle's at.
She's kind of moved this idea.
We move the trailer off.
She wanted to spend the winter there.
-Now she's got an apartment. -Yeah.
-I mean, so you wouldn't wanna live out there in an RV... -[Janelle] Yeah.
...while they're building your house,
or anything like that, would you by chance?
And I'm not pushing that.
Oh, hell no.
There's no way I'm gonna go live in an RV.
It was very hard living on Coyote Pass.
Even though it was beautiful in the RV, it sucked.
But she had dogs.
It's a different environment.
Uh, three and two dogs versus one.
You know what I'm saying?
"Hey, Meri, why don't you do this, you know,
'cause it'll be easier to live in an RV
with just you all alone,
just one person."
This is why I see hope.
Because Meri is still part of Kody's big picture.
That's why he says thing like,
"Why don't you hurry and build a house on the property?"
'Cause she's still a part of his future.
I have an idea
that might be really functional, I don't know.
Do you guys wanna hear it?
Sure, go for it.
But it wouldn't be...
-I don't know if it's very functional. -My hand.
-[laughing] -No, I want to build a barndominium out there.
I want a place to put my car
that I don't drive, except for in the summer.
I want a place to put my stuff.
Yeah, the barndominium is basically a big giant garage or a barn
that has a loft apartment in it.
You know, so it's like a condominium but it's a barn.
-A metal building that goes up fast. -[Janelle] Mmm-hmm.
-Lickety-split. -And you can do whatever you want on the inside.
-Well, technically. -Can't you?
But I would get a permit for it.
I'd show 'em the design.
I'd get a permit for the loft I'd put in it.
And you could live in that loft.
I mean, it'll have, you know, like, a shower, fridge.
You know, like, normal. Like, it'd be about this big.
So, basically, he just wants to put me out there with all the stuff,
the extra stuff that he doesn't wanna see,
he doesn't wanna deal with, he doesn't have room for.
The cars, the storage, the Meri.
Haven't figured it out. I just had the idea 'cause I'm tired of...
We're just overwhelmed with stuff.
Uh, Janelle moved into the RV, and then Christine left,
and... and there was so much stuff that needed to go to storage.
It's just overwhelming.
You know, I get that he think he's, like...
...amazing, and gracious, and brilliant.
It's just insulting.
You know what? It would just make more sense
to just have a house that is just smaller.
And also, I just don't really wanna live long-term indefinitely in a RV.
I don't think that that is something I would want.
[Kody] There... There are no good answers here, I don't think.
Not in the view of where we're at.
And I think part of the confusion is for me and Meri.
Where are me and Meri at?
I think the writing is on the wall.
It's been obvious to me.
When I try to go into that discussion with Meri,
I get so much resistance.
It's not really fair to either of us.
But as long as she wants to live in this...
...denial,
I guess I can live in it with her.
So I think you're making a good move.
I'm not worried about you.
I'm not, like, going, "Oh, you're leaving. No, don't."
'Cause I don't think you are, so don't worry.
[Meri] I went into this conversation
just kind of knowing that he wasn't really gonna...
...give a flying rat's ass.
And so, yeah, he's saying that he's not
concerned about me leaving.
'Cause he's not...
...concerned at all, about anything about me.
-Well... -Well, thanks for letting me know.
Yep.
[Robyn] She can really be in this, like, dark place.
And she'll go like, "Why am I trying?"
I said, "Meri, if you don't wanna try anymore,
then, like, I... I want you to be happy.
And if this is, like, you don't wanna do this anymore,
and you don't see that there's any hope,"
then, like... I start, I went, "I don't wanna be selfish and keep you here."
And she said, "Don't ever say that to me again."
And she's, "I need you
to always tell me there's hope."
[sniffles]
She says, "I need you to always...
...be fighting for our relationship.
Because there's days when I am too weak to continue to fight.
I need someone else to fight."
And I said, "Okay."
[Meri] I wish that he saw some value in me. And he doesn't.
He wants to put me in the loft of his...
...freakin' barndominium."
[chuckles]
You know. [chuckles]
It's been almost six months since Janelle and I had our fight.
Neither of us are making great strides or declarations of
"I want this to work out," or "I found a counsellor."
If... If there is anything here, I don't know.
Like, it's starting over, right? It's redefining.
I kinda feel like a guy on a first date that's like jonesing.
You know, like, "Hey, [chuckles]
are we gonna kiss after this date?"
Today's Janelle's birthday.
And, uh, we are going to go out on a date.
I literally have dinner reservations at the nicest restaurant,
I think, in all of Arizona.
But it's a secret.
I'm not telling Janelle where we're going. We're just going.
[chuckles]
How we got here, I have no idea.
But we're basically...
...trying to start over.
It's been almost six months since Janelle and I had our fight.
Then four months ago, her and I sat down to dinner,
and she just said, "I want a separation."
So we're gonna go out.
See, you know, kind of, like, investigate ourselves.
You know, let's see how we can get along.
Let's see how we're doing.
Here's the thing.
We're obviously in different places, okay?
And we have different points of view in the relationship.
But she's talking about not reconciling it.
I don't know why we can't.
Which means, I'm clueless to what the real problem is.
So it's complicated.
It's a weird place to be when you're getting a divorce
while you're still sleeping with your wife and lover... [chuckling]
in... in a relationship.
And so in this case, with Janelle,
I see potential for us to manage it
and to keep that relationship.
But I do struggle wondering how, you know, we do have to unwind the past
and then figure out what our relationship is now and how to do that.
So we'll see how all this plays out.
But it's date night, and we're gonna see how this goes.
Neither of us are making great strides or declarations of,
"I want this to work out, or "I found a counsellor."
We're just kind of in this place
where there's no connection anymore.
But I still enjoy his company.
So this date, to me,
it's just a fun time to go hang out
and do something for my birthday,
mark the occasion.
We're not gonna discuss deep things.
I just... I just wanna go out easy,
almost like it's a date.
Just a first date, second date, third date, something.
I don't know, you know?
All right.
-So happy birthday. -Thanks.
I think we're gonna have to, like...
-...figure out, um... -What?
-I mean, are you excited about your birthday? -Yes.
You know what? It's so weird 'cause it's awkwardly familiar.
Like, it's a little bit awkward 'cause of everything that's happened, but,
this is familiar, we've been together almost 30 years.
So if you wanted to go out for your birthday...
-Mmm-hmm. -...and wanted to go the nicest restaurant
in all of Arizona...
It would be, like Mariposa or something.
It would be Mariposa, wouldn't it?
-[laughs] Did you really... -Yeah.
-...get a reservation at Mariposa? -Yeah, I did.
Honey, thank you.
-Wow! Wow. -Yeah.
It's actually really fun. It's a very nice gesture
that he somehow got a reservation at this place.
-Wow. You did it. -Yeah, I get stuff done. [laughing]
I'm... I've wanted to go there forever
'cause we always would make plans,
-and we always had to cancel them or something. -Oh.
-Yeah. It's, like, it's the hardest... -Yeah.
-...restaurant in all of Arizona to get into. -Oh, thanks.
She... She can't get a reservation there.
And I've got one.
[laughs] And so, I feel like the magic man again. You know what I mean?
Good. We'll have just a fun, easy evening, right?
I think I just want fun and easy.
That's why I wanted to dress nice
'cause I don't like going to that place
-unless I'm in slacks. So... -[chuckles] Yeah, fun, easy evening. I like it.
I kind of feel like a guy on a first date that's like jonesing.
You know, like, "Hey... [chuckles]
...are we gonna kiss after this date?
Let's just be easy.
Like, I thought about when I was, like, growing up,
they always had those... those, like, when you're a teenager,
they always had those question books
that you talk about on your first date.
-Oh. -[both laughing]
You wanna get a first date question book.
-That's fun. -I don't know. I feel like we're sort of...
If... If there is anything here, I don't know.
Like, it's starting over, right? It's redefining.
Sure.
Yeah.
I made all this effort to get to Mariposa and dress nice,
specifically because I was looking for a...
...an edge into reconciliation.
And there's a block. Now I... you know?
There's another block. Uh...
And I'm just bringing me down a notch.
Bringing me down a notch.
Yeah.
I mean, I just don't think there's much path forward for Kody and I.
Uh, we just are different people now.
He thinks differently.
He's very, very wrapped up
with the children at Robyn's house.
Robyn and he think a lot alike.
They wanna live the same kind of life.
And I'm really looking for a relationship where I'm equally considered.
There. I feel, like...
-[chuckles] Feel like that was plenty. -I feel like that kinda...
Yeah, I feel like... I don't wanna...
I don't wanna ruin it so much by having...
...this, like, the pressure of the camera.
You know what I mean? So...
We did turn the cameras off after a little bit
just because they can be somewhat...
...intrusive, and I just wanted to relax and have fun for my birthday.
You know what? I mean, the day was nice.
We... We like to go to Sedona.
We like to look at the art galleries.
The meal was beautiful. The scenery was amazing.
And then we came home. And it was great.
At one point, I slipped my hand into his out of habit.
And I thought, "This feels really weird."
And I... I took my hand back out of his hand.
It just didn't... I... It just didn't feel right anymore.
[Kody] I don't know why we can't reconcile.
So we had a bad fight.
We've had worse.
So we're separated.
We've had other separations.
[Janelle] You know, there just isn't anything there anymore.
There... There just isn't.
Our relationship has been unraveling for years.
[Kody] I've been in love with her before.
So I can be in love with her again.
I just feel like we need to reestablish trust.
I want to feel like I am a person to her,
not an object.
Next time onSister Wives.
We weren't targeting her.
We were all trying to have these options open
so that we could all do this Christmas exchange
because we've been doing it for 20 years.
She was, like, testing us, how we don't respect Tru's mother.
You know what, Robyn, have him.
We're all grown adults
that don't need a father figure anymore.
I would like to say that I didn't care.
-But it still hurts. -[Paedon] Yeah.
Did I hurt them in living plural marriage?
Avalon.
I missed all the struggles we're having as a family.
I love that Mykelti is still warm to us.
-[laughing] -Thank you for coming, everybody.
It's my ex-anniversary. [vocalizes excitedly]
First, I love hanging out with these ladies.
I think Janelle could use as much friendship as possible.