[narrator] Previously on Sister Wives...
About eight weeks ago, Meri told me
that she was gonna basically request a divorce.
It's called a release in our church.
The damage was done so badly
that we are not going to reconcile,
no matter what.
[Meri] I've been living in limbo
for nearly a decade,
and I'm moving forward with this.
I had my boys. They were safe.
They were healthy.
And it was just this over joyous experience
of everything's fine.
[Robyn] I was handed Archer first,
and at the same time
Christine was holding Ace, and so it was kind of like...
[cries]
[Christine] It was awkward.
It's gonna be awkward for a while,
and I don't know what the future looks like.
[Kody] Our family, this shattered,
this mess has gotten so hostile.
Total civil war.
I'm having a hard time feeling like...
[sighs] Losing respect for you a little bit.
Hey, listen, you don't want to be this guy.
I know you're hurting,
but you don't want to be this guy.
[theme music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
We're headed to see Tony and Mykelti
and the new bambinos.
[laughs] And I'm so excited.
When newborn babies come,
they're so fun to hold and cuddle
and of course, everybody wants to see twins
'cause it's like it's cool. They're twin babies.
It's like extra special.
So it's Dad and Robyn's turn to come up
and get some newborn twin snuggles in.
-Hello! -What's up?
-Come on in. -Hi.
-It's little sweetie! -[Mykelti] Hey, Dad.
So Robyn was here for the birth.
She got to hold the babies after they were born.
She got to help Mykelti for a little bit.
I stayed home to watch Solomon and Ariella,
to take care of them, get them to school.
But now I get to meet the twins,
and I'm excited about that.
-Okay. Let's see. -Who's who, Dad?
Hold on. I think this is Archer.
You would be correct.
-Nice. I know my little buddies. -[Tony] Nice.
Oh, so tiny.
The twins are not identical.
They're fraternal twins.
And they figured that out really quickly.
And so, yeah, you can totally tell who's who.
One's a little chubbier, one has red hair,
one's a little thinner, has lighter hair,
different personalities, different... [laughs]
Different everything.
-She wants a hug. -I want a hug.
Can I have a hug?
Oh, I love you.
-Do you wanna hug Grandpa? -Hey, chicklet, can I have a hug?
[Tony] Yeah.
-[Kody] Hi, do I get a hug? -You wanna go to Kody?
What about knuckles?
Wanna go to Grandpa?
[Mykelti] I'm definitely happy to see my dad.
I don't see him very often.
Just because we live so far apart.
I'm very proud
to be a mom to these twin boys.
So I'm very proud to show them off to my dad.
So Mykelti has actually been kind of in this
neutral position I guess. You know, polarized family.
But Mykelti and Tony are still hanging out with us.
I really like Tony.
I get along with Mykelti well
and I see something very special in her.
I think that Mykelti kind of sees that there are
two sides to this.
I just think she knows more of the truth.
I think she sees more of the truth.
[Kody] I got an idea.
-I should clear this with you. -Oh.
We should buy a big house in Flagstaff
and they can move there, and then we'll help them with the babies.
It would be so fun for me to have a home
that Tony and Mykelti could come in, visit
because it's hard to come to the house that we've got.
All the rooms are filled. We have to move a kid
to another room.
Kids come and sleep with mom and dad
so that Tony and Mykelti can have a room
and then they're piled in all to one room
with three little babies, you know.
And there's a house that Rob and I were looking at
and I thought that would be fun to buy,
and we have some kids or, you know, in-laws
move in with us, you know.
-[fake coughs] -[Robyn laughs]
-Really? -You guys can buy a big house...
-You guys would love it. -...and we would visit you.
No. You have to have your own life.
Hurry. Open it, pal.
[Kody] Well, I always wanted this big family experience.
I had this wonderful experience with my own family.
So, yes, I have the big dream of a big house
with lots of rooms and lots of space,
a guest house and I hope that the place is big enough
that everybody could come back
at the same time if they wanted.
[Robyn] When Kody is not doing his anger stuff,
and he's more vulnerable,
yeah, I can tell he misses it.
He misses the family experience.
[Mykelti] And postpartum, I don't have any depression.
I'm doing great. I'm eating my placenta.
So it's lovely.
Yes, that helps like crazy with that.
I highly recommend it to every woman.
Just eat your placenta.
The placenta is all of the nutrients.
It's all of the really good stuff
that helps feed the baby when you're pregnant
and the placenta is actually...
encapsulated. It's very good for you.
It was incredible. I think it really helped
through my postpartum with Avalon.
It really helped through my recovery.
So I was like, I'm gonna do it again with my boys
and so far it's helped a lot.
Did you do it last time?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mmm-hmm.
-Wow. So-- -I actually ate
my placenta raw though after Avalon.
-I straight up had... -That was because
-she was bleeding. -Took a bite out of it.
-Really? -Yeah.
It doesn't have a taste.
It's not like carne asada.
-There's no taste. -But it looks like carne asada.
[laughs]
But I did. I ate a chunk of it raw.
And then they turned another chunk of it into a smoothie.
-[retches] -I have a picture.
I actually have a picture on my phone of my placenta,
and you can see the bite mark that I took out of it.
It's big too.
-It's huge. -It's freaking big flank steak.
Mmm. No, the whole placenta thing. No.
I have heard people say that it's like super healthy.
I'm disgusted by it. It's really gross.
No, no. In no way, shape or form.
My first instinct was, that is disgusting.
That's disgusting.
But it's what all mammals do.
I wish so badly I would have known
about eating your placenta, encapsulated placenta.
I wish so bad. I would have done it in a heartbeat.
Okay, well, I'm gonna shock y'all.
I was the first one to do it,
and it was something my midwife suggested to me,
and I just thought I'd try it.
So, you know, I had postpartum depression
with one of my children. It's scary.
It's super scary. It's no fun.
Oh. He smells delicious.
He smells...
Sweet.
-[Mykelti] They always smell like breast milk to me. -Sweet baby smell.
[laughs]
Well, breast milk has a lot of sugar.
That is not true.
I heard a funny story
that you guys would pass around kids
and breastfeed them in a big circle.
We never did that. It was just a joke.
-We never did that. -Are you sure?
-Never. That is not... -I don't believe you.
...a cultural. We did not.
-That was joking. -I strongly disagree, too.
I definitely heard from other people
that it was a common thing
in growing up in your guys' church.
That you guys would just pass around kids for breastfeeding.
-No. -Which mother's nipples hold out the longest?
No, it was a joke.
That's disgusting.
I just like teasing my mom.
If I love somebody, it means I'll tease them.
It's just my love language.
But I would not be surprised...
-Yeah? -...if that happened.
-I'm just saying. -I would not be surprised
if that happened in any culture.
-Especially hers. -My gosh.
I'm just saying.
[Christine] I've only ever breastfed my kids.
Ever, I promise.
I've only ever breastfed my kids, too.
[chuckles]
That's because you didn't like polygamy.
I actually breastfed one of our kids
that was not my own child.
You know, and that was something that was kind of
medically necessary at the time,
but it wasn't something
that we did on a regular basis,
just for fun, just for kicks and giggles.
Yeah, I've never breastfed another baby. No.
I never had enough milk.
I would have been hard pressed to do that.
[laughs] So...
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
Women...
would breastfeed each other's babies.
And, you know, in our culture,
I've seen it plenty of times. Absolutely.
It's not like, "Oh, let's turn..."
you know, it's not like musical babies.
It's not like that.
It's more of like necessity and help
and, you know, community of women,
you know, being supportive to each other
about their children and stuff so...
Cutest little ears.
Look at those cute little ears.
[Robyn chuckles]
-He's got the cutest ears. -Oh, look at him.
Look at your daddy. He's crying.
[Robyn chuckles] He's getting...
It's just fun to see 'em.
It's fun to have the babies.
While Christine and I have been breaking up,
me and Mykelti have been healing.
It's special to have this time with them.
I must actually be done having babies
because I'm excited about these ones really big.
-You know, 18 kids later. -Oh, such sweet little boys.
[Christine] Mykelti's relationship with Kody
is she's not afraid to ask what she needs to ask for.
I'm really glad Robyn has a close bond with all of them.
Avalon, Ace and Archer.
And then Kody needs to have a close bond with them, too.
All the kids just need to take an example
out of Mykelti's book.
She's not afraid to ask for what she needs.
It's amazing.
COVID caused a lot of problems for a lot of people.
But those relationships had the fortitude to survive.
Those relationships survived.
And he's like, "You're not loyal, just like your mother."
And I was like, "Okay."
It's so interesting because Kody throws around,
he's like, "You're not loyal, You don't respect me."
And I'm like I'm thinking that's a two-way street buddy.
[upbeat music playing]
It's terrible handwriting. Sorry.
So I've been on a date a couple of times with David.
I met him online and on our first date,
we hit it off really, really well.
You have to see. We look adorable together.
I'm just gonna show you. This is our second date.
I told him everything.
Polygamy background. I told him everything.
And anyway, he goes, "Oh, okay."
He goes, "I know about polygamy.
My sisters live polygamy."
And I'm like...
"Do you wanna live polygamy?"
And he's like, "No, gosh, no. I'm not interested in that."
And I'm like, phew!
I was so nervous.
I didn't sleep at all the night before I told him.
But he was great with it. Oh!
So I don't have to explain polygamy,
which is great because sometimes you explain polygamy
and guys think you have loose morals.
And then they think that you're gonna be
interested in their open marriages.
It's like, "No, no, no. That's not a situation."
It's super fun. It's a fun conversation.
God. He's just solid
and he's real, real, genuine.
And I gotta just be me.
And he really liked me for me. I could tell.
When I met Kody and married Kody,
we had a very different relationship.
He was already married
and I wanted to be respectful of that.
So we'd talk on the phone
and we were good friends before we got married.
But it's not like this
giggly, fun, um,
like it's really solid.
Like he's a really, really good guy.
He hasn't made any like physical gestures
of being attracted to me, right.
He didn't hold my hand on the second date
and we didn't kiss on the second date,
but this is only a second date. I get that.
But still. So anyway,
before things progress anymore,
I need to have a conversation with him about, you know,
is he attracted to me and and everything like that.
So it's like,
yeah, I really like him a lot.
Just saying. [squeals in excitement]
[chuckles]
-[Gabriel] Hi, Mamma. -Oh, hi, honey.
-How are you? -Do you want some help?
I'm almost done.
Do you want some breakfast?
Yeah, but I'll make it. You're good.
Gabriel, he's my deep thinker.
He's always been my deep thinker.
He's been going to Northern Arizona University.
And I know he's been speaking with a counselor.
They're really great at the university
about making those resources available.
Do you want hard or soft yolk?
I like soft.
-You like soft? Me too. -Yeah.
Your dad always had this like...
like this system,
like he didn't want them flipped over.
He wanted to put the lid on or...
Yeah, and he always wants
a lemon and a cup of hot water
-at a restaurant. -Yeah, he's got his routines.
-[Gabriel] He's pretty peculiar. -Yeah.
Kody has not really had much contact with my children
since everything really went down with COVID.
I think everybody's been just trying to be safe,
and I don't know why Dad is...
Maybe it's a form of midlife crisis.
See, I don't know.
-I think it's real. -Oh, I think it's real.
I just don't think that it's serious enough
for him to not see us for the next six months.
[Janelle] After the COVID scare was over
and we all went back to our normal lives,
we still couldn't reconcile as a family
because Kody felt like,
um, the boys needed to give an apology to him
and to Robyn, especially to Robyn.
And after...
It sort of morphed into this,
"Well, they just need to come and talk to me."
I mean, Kody's whole mantra was, "I've been...
My kids have been not loyal to me
and the most precious person
in this family who's given her heart and soul
has been disrespected,"
or some bull [bleep] like that.
And I'm like, "Whatever, Kody."
Yeah, whatever.
[Gabriel] He hit me up. It was, like, strange
because he was like, "Hey, I miss you."
And then he kept, like, phrasing it like
I owed him an apology.
And he's like...
Eventually I was just like, "Hey, unless you're like
actually ready to have a relationship and fix things,
then we're not gonna talk anymore."
He came back a couple of days later and texted me.
He was like, "Hey, I've been, like thinking about what you've been saying.
I forgive you. Please forgive me."
I was like, "Forgive me for what?
Like what's going on here?"
-So I don't-- -I wonder if there would
ever be any, I don't know.
Because I told him you guys should get a counselor
or something. I mean, like, I don't know.
-What do you think? -I think Dad... I don't know.
I told Dad that if he doesn't change
and he can't take accountability,
then I just won't ever see him again
and I'm perfectly okay with that.
Yeah, it's been a long time.
In the very beginning,
Gabriel took it very hard
because Kody was someone who would take Gabriel
with him on business trips.
And like they had a really good relationship.
Kody was an amazing father.
He was a totally engaged father,
and that continued
through their, you know,
high school years and everything.
And then all of a sudden it was just like,
"Well, you're not obedient.
You're not loyal.
You're disrespectful.
So I'm done with you."
Yeah. I don't know.
I don't know what it would take.
At this point, everybody is so busy
and they're starting to spread out across the country and...
I think it would take Dad really setting things straight
and I think that that would take an act of God, so...
I don't really know what Kody wants.
The last I knew, he really just thinks
the kids should let him be their patriarch.
And how that would go, I think, is that
they would have to conform to the way that
Kody and Robyn see the world.
That's how I perceive it.
And I think that's how my kids perceive it, too.
And they just don't want any part of that.
Janelle is just dead wrong about me and patriarchy.
I've never been patriarchal.
I've never behaved patriarchal.
I actually was just angry once when Christine was leaving
and I said, "Hey, we're going to do this patriarchy thing."
But I've never been patriarchal.
He's really set in the whole
like I was just trying to do what was good for the family.
Like he's kind of stuck there.
I don't buy that at all honestly like...
I mean, this isn't like a popular opinion in our family,
but I think that he was doing right
for the family members that he chose to be with,
not for the family.
I think a lot of the kids
feel like there was some definite...
-Favoritism. -Considering one person's perspective,
-way more than the others. -I think so.
I love my wives. I love my children.
I just wanted to keep everybody safe.
When I got COVID,
I did become a little bit hostile.
It was like a sort of a bias from my experience.
I mean, I saw the Grim Reaper.
It was scary.
-And, I mean, I think that he can say what he wants... -These look really good.
...but, you know, if it's brown and it stinks,
it's probably [bleep].
My children have really begun to express
that they feel like COVID just presented an opportunity
for their dad to do
what he's been wanting to do for a long time,
which was live and make a life with his favorite wife.
I mean, let's not mince words.
And their dad had been expressing things to them
just off the cuff about,
you know, he wished that he would have waited
and just married Robyn.
I never once told any of my children
that I wished that I would have waited and just married Robyn.
That's a misunderstanding
that has become a gossip in the family.
It's like the telephone game
or that game where you just repeat gossip
and by the time it gets back to you,
it's completely distorted.
It's really untrue.
I don't know what dad says that to their kids,
but my kids have many stories like that.
So they automatically now are thinking that
this was just an opportunity
for him to kind of maneuver into that position.
I texted Kody, and I said, "Hey, I went ahead
and started the process
with the official termination
through the church.
And he never responded.
[Kody] I had moved on a long time ago,
but I was afraid of what she would do
if I ripped off that Band-Aid.
Okay, so, this is an update
on what's going on with me and Kody.
It's been an interesting year.
Literally, it's been an interesting year.
You want something that we can't have together.
And we can always have something else.
But not that.
[Meri] I really, really felt like that
he was just doing everything that he could
to have me be the one to leave.
So that he could say,
"My hands are clean, she's the one who left."
So after that I decided I was gonna move forward
with the official termination through the church
where we had gotten married.
I texted Kody and I said,
"Hey, I went ahead
and started the process.
Um, in two weeks,
if you wanna, you know, give any input,
have anything to do with it or whatever."
And he never responded to my text.
I did take a trip up to Utah earlier this week,
and I met with the leaders of our church,
and I was granted a, what is called in our church, a release.
Um, which is basically the equivalent of a divorce. Um...
It was a very, very hard conversation.
Hard in meaning heartbreaking
because this is not what I wanted to do.
This is not what I intended when I married Kody.
Back in 2014, Kody and I
did do a legal divorce.
And for me, that whole process
was purely for the fact
that he could then marry Robyn legally
and then adopt her three older kids.
But our spiritual marriage,
our spiritual sealing, was still intact.
When we marry, it is for eternity. Like, that's the intention.
So once I had that terminated or released,
that means it's done.
Like, there's no... there's no bound
that keeps us together for eternity.
So Kody and I are no longer married in any way, shape or form.
[sighs]
So there's that.
So Robyn and I were driving home and I got a phone call
from the church leader
who said, "We've given Meri a release."
And he said a few other things that I don't wanna
necessarily disclose, that sort of upset me.
They did say that it was on the grounds of abandonment,
and I know he doesn't like that word.
Because he doesn't feel like he abandoned me.
Um, I feel like he did.
Robyn felt that if I waited on God,
that things could change
for mine and Meri's relationship.
And that was advice that I took
and I waited, and as time went on,
I realized that it was never really going to work.
And I'm sorry to Meri for that.
I wish I would have figured it out sooner.
I'm gonna be going around
and pulling down all pictures of Kody and me.
They don't need to be there anymore.
We're not a couple anymore.
And also we have spent 33 years together.
This is like, literally, the majority of my life.
I was 19 when we got married, right?
Like, it is my whole adult life.
[Robyn] Kody's been emotional
about this with Meri.
He shed tears about the fact
that he and Meri are splitting.
And he said, "I just wish it didn't have to be this way."
Oh, I'm absolutely relieved that it's done.
It's sad. It's heartbreaking,
but I am relieved that it's done.
I had moved on a long time ago,
but let's just be honest here.
I was afraid of what she would do
if I ripped off that Band-Aid.
It's 'cause Meri was never loyal to me, ever.
That's what I've been worried about
is just kind of reputation.
'Cause when you get divorced, your reputation is trashed.
[Meri] It's really just sad that Kody
is talking about our marriage
the way that he's talking about it.
It feels like the narrative has changed with him.
But the things that he's saying
about me to other people,
and that people are believing, are not true.
I'm just starting fresh and new and single and me
and, you know, I have a lot of plans and ideas...
And I've got a lot of things ahead of me that I'm super excited about.
And also I'm dealing with this pain right now.
So it's this weird conflict in my head, but...
No, I have not told anybody in the family
that I went through this divorce process
besides my own kid, you know? And obviously Kody knows,
and so whoever he's told. I'm sure he's told Robyn,
but I just don't see it necessary.
You know, Janelle and Christine
are already separated from Kody
and moving on and doing their own thing.
And it would just be weird for me to just pick up a phone
and tell somebody,
who I don't really talk to anyway,
that I just separated.
[Janelle] So Kody called me to talk about something
and he's like, "Oh, by the way, Meri got her
spiritual release from me." And I'm like, "Okay, good.
Good for her. I didn't know you could do that."
I didn't know we were eligible
'cause we're no longer part of the community,
but I'm like, "Good. All right, cool."
I don't even know who to ask.
I don't even know anybody
at the church over there anymore.
And I... I just don't feel inclined to
because I'm just not... I don't know.
Just is not an issue for me.
I'm not even part of that church.
And I don't respect any of the leaders of that church.
And I don't think they have any say over my life.
But Meri did, and I am really glad that she did.
I'm glad that she got the release.
I think that's really, really cool.
Good for her.
I've no intention of becoming the bitter ex-wife.
Um, I just don't want that for me.
It doesn't serve me, so...
I'm letting go of all of that.
It's sad because there were so many times
when Meri and Kody and I would be together hanging out
and I would just feel the destiny in it.
Do you want me to leave so you guys can kiss hi?
[laughs]
No, we can... Here, she's not looking.
-Okay. -Oh, jeez.
[Robyn] And I just really hope that she continues to
want to be friends with him, want to be friends with me
and that we can still have some of those
experiences together and...
And I just hope Meri is okay.
[Meri] I'm glad it's done,
and now I can start the new year fresh.
And also, it's heartbreaking.
[Meri] Fireworks.
-Yeah, fireworks. -[Meri laughing]
[Meri] I'll never regret the years
because I know that I am who I am today
because of what I have learned,
what I have gone through, you know?
And I'm happy with who I am.
And I'm also looking forward to what's to come.
Who knows what's gonna be in my future, you know?
There's a lot of anger towards Robyn.
If she actually believes that
we were mistreating her or her children in any way
when she was constantly getting favorited by Dad,
then there's no chance of me having a relationship
with Robyn ever again.
So, yeah, I don't know.
I mean, like, your dad will, um, he does see Savannah.
It's not frequently.
But every couple of months or,
you know, he'll call and they'll go out.
But, you know, I don't know.
The rest of the kids don't really have much
of any kind of connection with him.
I've talked to Savannah about it,
and she's like, "Look, I just have
come to realize that this is who he is.
He's gonna be kind of that dad
who shows up and we have a lot of fun
and then he's gone."
I can meet him where he's at. It's okay.
But my older boys take really strong responsibility for Savannah.
In fact, Savannah, as a side note, Savannah said that
that's who will walk her down the aisle
when she gets married, will be her brothers.
What do you think about, um...
'Cause he used to always, you know, like,
"I have somebody in my life
who just sacrificed everything
and did everything for this family,
and we've treated her like dirt."
And I'm like, "I don't remember ever treating her badly."
I think that Robyn...
...definitely has a victim complex...
I mean, to put it bluntly.
I don't necessarily blame her for that.
I think that different people,
you know, devise different strategies
to keep themselves afloat. But...
And I feel really bad about the kids 'cause I'm like, you know--
I miss having a relationship with all of them.
But I also... I don't blame them at all
for following on... along party lines, you know?
My kids aren't really... They are very...
There's a lot of anger towards Robyn.
They just feel like Robyn is always
kind of waiting to, like, to say...
When they say something or do something,
she's gonna twist it all around.
That's how they feel about, how they feel about it.
You know what I mean? They're leery of Robyn.
They are.
If she actually believes that
we were mistreating her or her children in any way,
when she was constantly getting favorited by Dad,
and we were always working
on our relationship with her kids...
If she actually believes that, then there's no chance
of me having a relationship with Robyn ever again.
Robyn always strongly supported
my relationships with the whole family.
Robyn herself,
her last two conversations with Janelle were...
was Robyn begging Janelle
to have a relationship with her.
Janelle's a relationship coward.
And I don't know.
I just I don't have a lot of respect for Robyn,
so it's hard for me to rationalize some of her actions.
And maybe, you know, maybe that's
the reason that she's like,
"Oh, you, you've always hated us,"
is because she doesn't have our respect anymore.
Because she does [bleep] like that.
[Janelle] I don't know.
It's really, really a mess.
It just feels like it's such a mess.
I don't know what really happened there,
but they feel like there was a lot of, um, triangulation.
Like, ego stroking, like, manipulation.
I, at this point, I am...
The thing I want most is to just have a relationship with Robyn's children again.
Like, when, I mean, in middle school, Aurora
was my favorite person to hang out with.
And in high school, I would always try to hit Dayton up.
But I'm not hopeful for a relationship with Dad and Robyn.
Um, Gabriel really is sort of...
He's at peace. He's at peace
that his dad is not in his life.
And, you know, that's what I hope for all of my kids,
and I think they're all getting there.
I don't know what his beef is with me.
I think it's because I literally sat him down and had a conversation
-about it with him. -Yeah.
And he just couldn't...
he just couldn't handle the fact
that I was calm and collected
and said, "Hey, you're... you're hurting this family.
No one else."
And he's like... something like,
"You're not loyal, just like your mother."
And I was like, "Okay."
Oh. It's okay. You know, I'm good.
He can say what he wants to say.
This conversation never happened.
COVID caused a lot of problems
for a lot of people, all right?
But those people whose relationships had the fortitude...
to survive, those relationships survived.
It's so interesting 'cause Kody throws around
this like, "You're not loyal, you don't respect me."
And I'm like, "I'm thinking that's a two-way street, buddy."
He was never like that before.
He used to not ever use these words.
It was always about love and charity
and work together as a team and all this and now suddenly
it's about loyalty and respect and disrespect
and not loyal and all these things.
So he's had some sort of a flip.
But how are you doing, Mom?
I'm all right. Everything is really good.
I'm happy. Really, really happy.
-So... -I mean, it's not easy though.
I stuck it out because you guys were still home and all that.
And then when he no longer was a really great father,
it's kind of... I kind of feel like I had the ability
to go do something different. So...
I'm just so frustrated with Kody.
Look, I've seen this happen.
I have several women I've worked with over the years
who... who divorced
and then the father just goes MIA with the kids, you know?
I'm really sorry that Gabriel feels this way.
I have reached out to him multiple times, only to get rejected.
But it wasn't from a lack of trying on my part.
I am glad you did seek out counseling on your own.
And I thought that was really smart. So...
I think a lot of us need it.
I do, too. I actually think we all need it. So...
I mean, you don't just go through your family
-crumbling to bits and not need therapy. Like... -Yeah. Yeah.
Look, I know that probably for long-term emotional health
there needs to be some resolution.
And right now, the kids are still processing it a lot.
I would like to see them come to a place of peace.
Maybe not reconciliation, though, 'cause I'm not sure reconciliation is possible.
[Robyn] When I was a young girl,
I wanted to be in a plural family.
That's something that was a really big deal to me.
This isn't what I envisioned my life to be.
[voice shaking] I don't see my future anymore.
For me now, my prayer was just like, save me and Robyn
after this horrible experience of breaking up.
It's 1:00 a.m. on the 24th of December.
And this is the first Christmas since I married Kody
that I won't have any other family around,
except for just me and the kids and Kody.
Um...
When I was a young girl,
I wanted to be in a plural family.
It was something that was a really big deal to me.
And then as I got older, I went through a process
of trying to figure out
if I, you know, still wanted to live this way.
You know, 'cause when you're young,
you kind of do what your parents want you to do.
And you kind of feel like
this is, you know, you grew up a certain way,
so this is how you're gonna live and...
And then as I got older, I...
[all speaking indistinctly]
[Robyn] And when I saw Kody's family,
I was so excited to be a part of it.
I liked how they were one family.
This isn't what I envisioned my life to be.
I always wanted to live plural marriage.
I'm in this place where everything
that's going on is just... it's taking away
all those choices for me.
I'm struggling with my identity
and what does it mean? And... Uh...
[voice shaking] I don't see my future anymore.
[sniffles]
And the hopes and dreams that I had
are just disappearing before my eyes.
[crying]
Robyn's holding on to something,
I've always said this woman has a spine
of concrete and steel,
and she's been holding on
to the dream that I sold her on
with my family for a lot longer.
But I keep trying to go,
"Let's move on.
Let's let this go.
Let's just tell ourselves
and believe it because I believe it now,
it was never meant to be.
It was never meant to work."
We had children together.
We gave life to these children.
These children can have a great life,
just not with a mom and dad that are together.
[Meri] You know, overall, when I look at what our family has been
and looking at what it is now,
it is very sad.
And, you know, when...
when you find out that your husband just really didn't love you,
nor did he, with many of the other wives in the family,
it's like, "Well, you know, I'm sad that it's come to this,
but like, why did it take so long to come to this?
Why did it even start
if this isn't something that
he was interested in, you know?"
And so I need to make sure they all still have a holiday that's special and sweet.
It just hit me so hard that I just...
I just don't get to have the perfect Christmas.
'Cause my family's not here.
[indistinct shouting]
One, two, three, go!
[all exclaiming]
[Christine] What we had, where all of us were together,
those were some pretty fun Christmases.
[Janelle] You know, we all sat down.
They opened their presents one at a time,
and we had certain foods for Christmas,
and it was just really fun.
And it just feels like now that,
especially with the big changes in family dynamic,
it's time to do something a little bit different.
It's time to create some new traditions
and some new things to have fun with,
and some new ways to celebrate,
that have nothing to do with how things used to be
and everything to do with how you want them to be.
[indistinct shouting]
For me now? My prayer was just, like, "Save me and Robyn."
I have this wonderful relationship with her.
The pain of this experience
has caused much trouble in our own relationship.
It's been a real struggle, so I hope and pray
that we just manage it.
That we, we... we save our marriage. That we save us.
We save the special that we started out with,
after this horrible experience of breaking up.
I'm just so heartbroken.
[softly] Oh, my God.
The only thing that keeps my head above the water...
I just had to take a moment
and feel it and... and process.
[sobbing] So I can get up tomorrow,
put on a happy face and make it beautiful
and make it special and... I owe that to my kids.
And I know that Kody's gonna struggle,
and I don't know, I just... [crying]
It's just not what I expected my life to be.
And I... I don't know how to let it go.
[indistinct shouting]
[all] Merry Christmas!
[all cheering]
[narrator reading]
[Meri] There's absolutely no way, shape or form
I would choose to spend Christmas with them.
We're done.
I'm 50.
I know what I want. I know what I had before.
So do you think this is long-term?
Yes.
We have said the magical words to each other.
He did say it first.
I said it right after though.
So I'm excited to where this is going to be going to.
[Kody] You know what really sucks?
It's not divorce that sucks.
It's marrying the wrong person.
What sucks is marrying the wrong person
and not having the decency to tell her
until 32 years later.
I wish I wouldn't have ever married her.