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[narrator] Previously
on Sister Wives...
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About eight weeks ago,
Meri told me
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that she was gonna
basically request a divorce.
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It's called a release
in our church.
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The damage was done
so badly
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that we are not
going to reconcile,
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no matter what.
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[Meri] I've been
living in limbo
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for nearly a decade,
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and I'm moving forward
with this.
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I had my boys.
They were safe.
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They were healthy.
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And it was just this
over joyous experience
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of everything's fine.
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[Robyn] I was
handed Archer first,
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and at the same time
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Christine was holding Ace,
and so it was kind of like...
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[cries]
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[Christine] It was awkward.
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It's gonna be
awkward for a while,
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and I don't know
what the future looks like.
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[Kody] Our family,
this shattered,
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this mess has
gotten so hostile.
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Total civil war.
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I'm having a hard time
feeling like...
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[sighs] Losing respect
for you a little bit.
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Hey, listen, you don't
want to be this guy.
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I know you're hurting,
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but you don't want
to be this guy.
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[theme music playing]
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[upbeat music playing]
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We're headed to see
Tony and Mykelti
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and the new bambinos.
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[laughs] And I'm so excited.
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When newborn babies come,
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they're so fun
to hold and cuddle
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and of course, everybody
wants to see twins
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'cause it's like it's cool.
They're twin babies.
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It's like extra special.
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So it's Dad and Robyn's turn
to come up
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and get some newborn
twin snuggles in.
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-Hello!
-What's up?
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-Come on in.
-Hi.
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-It's little sweetie!
-[Mykelti] Hey, Dad.
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So Robyn was here
for the birth.
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She got to hold the babies
after they were born.
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She got to help
Mykelti for a little bit.
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I stayed home to watch
Solomon and Ariella,
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to take care of them,
get them to school.
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But now I get
to meet the twins,
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and I'm excited about that.
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-Okay. Let's see.
-Who's who, Dad?
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Hold on.
I think this is Archer.
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You would be correct.
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-Nice. I know
my little buddies.
-[Tony] Nice.
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Oh, so tiny.
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The twins are not identical.
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They're fraternal twins.
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And they figured
that out really quickly.
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And so, yeah, you can
totally tell who's who.
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One's a little chubbier,
one has red hair,
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one's a little thinner,
has lighter hair,
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different personalities,
different... [laughs]
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Different everything.
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-She wants a hug.
-I want a hug.
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Can I have a hug?
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Oh, I love you.
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-Do you wanna hug Grandpa?
-Hey, chicklet,
can I have a hug?
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[Tony] Yeah.
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-[Kody] Hi, do I get a hug?
-You wanna go to Kody?
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What about knuckles?
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Wanna go to Grandpa?
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[Mykelti] I'm definitely happy
to see my dad.
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I don't see him very often.
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Just because
we live so far apart.
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I'm very proud
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to be a mom
to these twin boys.
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So I'm very proud
to show them off to my dad.
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So Mykelti has actually
been kind of in this
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neutral position I guess.
You know, polarized family.
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But Mykelti and Tony
are still hanging out with us.
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I really like Tony.
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I get along with Mykelti well
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and I see something
very special in her.
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I think that Mykelti
kind of sees that there are
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two sides to this.
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I just think she knows
more of the truth.
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I think she sees
more of the truth.
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[Kody] I got an idea.
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-I should clear this with you.
-Oh.
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We should buy
a big house in Flagstaff
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and they can move there,
and then we'll help them
with the babies.
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It would be so fun
for me to have a home
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that Tony and Mykelti
could come in, visit
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because it's hard to come
to the house that we've got.
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All the rooms are filled.
We have to move a kid
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to another room.
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Kids come and sleep
with mom and dad
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so that Tony and Mykelti
can have a room
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and then they're
piled in all to one room
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with three
little babies, you know.
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And there's a house
that Rob and I were looking at
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and I thought that
would be fun to buy,
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and we have some kids
or, you know, in-laws
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move in with us, you know.
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-[fake coughs]
-[Robyn laughs]
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-Really?
-You guys can
buy a big house...
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-You guys would love it.
-...and we would visit you.
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No. You have
to have your own life.
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Hurry. Open it, pal.
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[Kody] Well, I always wanted
this big family experience.
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I had this wonderful
experience with my own family.
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So, yes, I have the big dream
of a big house
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with lots of rooms
and lots of space,
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a guest house and I hope
that the place is big enough
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that everybody
could come back
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at the same time
if they wanted.
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[Robyn] When Kody
is not doing his anger stuff,
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and he's more vulnerable,
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yeah, I can tell
he misses it.
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He misses the family
experience.
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[Mykelti] And postpartum,
I don't have any depression.
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I'm doing great.
I'm eating my placenta.
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So it's lovely.
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Yes, that helps
like crazy with that.
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I highly recommend it
to every woman.
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Just eat your placenta.
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The placenta
is all of the nutrients.
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It's all of the really
good stuff
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that helps feed the baby
when you're pregnant
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and the placenta
is actually...
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encapsulated.
It's very good for you.
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It was incredible.
I think it really helped
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through my postpartum
with Avalon.
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It really helped
through my recovery.
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So I was like, I'm gonna
do it again with my boys
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and so far
it's helped a lot.
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Did you do it last time?
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Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
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-Wow. So--
-I actually ate
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my placenta raw though
after Avalon.
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-I straight up had...
-That was because
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-she was bleeding.
-Took a bite out of it.
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-Really?
-Yeah.
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It doesn't have a taste.
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It's not like carne asada.
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-There's no taste.
-But it looks like
carne asada.
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[laughs]
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But I did.
I ate a chunk of it raw.
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And then they turned another
chunk of it into a smoothie.
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-[retches]
-I have a picture.
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I actually have a picture
on my phone of my placenta,
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and you can see the bite mark
that I took out of it.
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It's big too.
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-It's huge.
-It's freaking big
flank steak.
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Mmm. No, the whole
placenta thing. No.
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I have heard people say
that it's like super healthy.
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I'm disgusted by it.
It's really gross.
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No, no. In no way,
shape or form.
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My first instinct was,
that is disgusting.
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That's disgusting.
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But it's what
all mammals do.
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I wish so badly
I would have known
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about eating your placenta,
encapsulated placenta.
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I wish so bad. I would have
done it in a heartbeat.
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Okay, well,
I'm gonna shock y'all.
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I was the first one
to do it,
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and it was something
my midwife suggested to me,
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and I just thought I'd try it.
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So, you know, I had
postpartum depression
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with one of my children.
It's scary.
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It's super scary.
It's no fun.
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Oh. He smells delicious.
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He smells...
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Sweet.
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-[Mykelti] They always
smell like breast milk to me.
-Sweet baby smell.
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[laughs]
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Well, breast milk
has a lot of sugar.
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That is not true.
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I heard a funny story
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that you guys would
pass around kids
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and breastfeed them
in a big circle.
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We never did that.
It was just a joke.
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-We never did that.
-Are you sure?
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-Never. That is not...
-I don't believe you.
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...a cultural. We did not.
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-That was joking.
-I strongly disagree, too.
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I definitely heard
from other people
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that it was a common thing
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in growing up
in your guys' church.
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That you guys would
just pass around kids
for breastfeeding.
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-No.
-Which mother's nipples
hold out the longest?
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No, it was a joke.
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That's disgusting.
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I just like teasing
my mom.
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If I love somebody,
it means I'll tease them.
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It's just
my love language.
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But I would
not be surprised...
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-Yeah?
-...if that happened.
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-I'm just saying.
-I would not be surprised
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if that happened
in any culture.
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-Especially hers.
-My gosh.
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I'm just saying.
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[Christine] I've only ever
breastfed my kids.
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Ever, I promise.
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I've only ever breastfed
my kids, too.
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[chuckles]
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That's because you
didn't like polygamy.
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I actually breastfed
one of our kids
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that was not
my own child.
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You know, and that was
something that was kind of
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medically necessary
at the time,
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but it wasn't something
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that we did
on a regular basis,
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just for fun,
just for kicks and giggles.
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Yeah, I've never breastfed
another baby. No.
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I never had enough milk.
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I would have been
hard pressed to do that.
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[laughs] So...
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Yeah, it's true.
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It's true.
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Women...
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would breastfeed
each other's babies.
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And, you know,
in our culture,
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I've seen it plenty
of times. Absolutely.
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It's not like,
"Oh, let's turn..."
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you know, it's not
like musical babies.
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It's not like that.
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It's more of like
necessity and help
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and, you know,
community of women,
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you know, being
supportive to each other
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about their children
and stuff so...
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Cutest little ears.
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Look at those
cute little ears.
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[Robyn chuckles]
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-He's got the cutest ears.
-Oh, look at him.
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Look at your daddy.
He's crying.
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[Robyn chuckles]
He's getting...
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It's just fun to see 'em.
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It's fun to have the babies.
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While Christine
and I have been breaking up,
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me and Mykelti
have been healing.
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It's special to have
this time with them.
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I must actually be
done having babies
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because I'm excited
about these ones really big.
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-You know, 18 kids later.
-Oh, such sweet little boys.
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[Christine] Mykelti's
relationship with Kody
248
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:48,734
is she's not afraid to ask
what she needs to ask for.
249
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,767
I'm really glad Robyn has
a close bond with all of them.
250
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:54,834
Avalon, Ace and Archer.
251
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,634
And then Kody needs to have
a close bond with them, too.
252
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,333
All the kids just need
to take an example
253
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,767
out of Mykelti's book.
254
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,767
She's not afraid to ask
for what she needs.
255
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,100
It's amazing.
256
00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:10,233
COVID caused a lot of problems
for a lot of people.
257
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:14,567
But those relationships
had the fortitude to survive.
258
00:10:14,567 --> 00:10:17,467
Those relationships survived.
259
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:21,000
And he's like, "You're not
loyal, just like your mother."
260
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,433
And I was like, "Okay."
261
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,000
It's so interesting
because Kody throws around,
262
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,133
he's like, "You're not loyal,
You don't respect me."
263
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,300
And I'm like I'm thinking
that's a two-way street buddy.
264
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,700
[upbeat music playing]
265
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,667
It's terrible handwriting.
Sorry.
266
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:45,433
So I've been on a date
a couple of times with David.
267
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,100
I met him online
and on our first date,
268
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,967
we hit it off
really, really well.
269
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,166
You have to see.
We look adorable together.
270
00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:54,333
I'm just gonna show you.
This is our second date.
271
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:01,000
I told him everything.
272
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,000
Polygamy background.
I told him everything.
273
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,367
And anyway,
he goes, "Oh, okay."
274
00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:07,767
He goes, "I know
about polygamy.
275
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,934
My sisters live polygamy."
276
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:10,734
And I'm like...
277
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,734
"Do you wanna
live polygamy?"
278
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,734
And he's like, "No, gosh, no.
I'm not interested in that."
279
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,634
And I'm like, phew!
280
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,767
I was so nervous.
281
00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,734
I didn't sleep at all
the night before I told him.
282
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,266
But he was great
with it. Oh!
283
00:11:25,266 --> 00:11:26,667
So I don't have
to explain polygamy,
284
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,166
which is great because
sometimes you explain polygamy
285
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:31,100
and guys think
you have loose morals.
286
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,266
And then they think
that you're gonna be
287
00:11:32,266 --> 00:11:33,867
interested in their
open marriages.
288
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:37,433
It's like, "No, no, no.
That's not a situation."
289
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,266
It's super fun.
It's a fun conversation.
290
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,467
God. He's just solid
291
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:43,867
and he's real,
real, genuine.
292
00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:45,567
And I gotta just be me.
293
00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,900
And he really liked me for me.
I could tell.
294
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,467
When I met Kody
and married Kody,
295
00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:53,367
we had a very different
relationship.
296
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:54,634
He was already married
297
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,667
and I wanted to be
respectful of that.
298
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:59,233
So we'd talk
on the phone
299
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,567
and we were good friends
before we got married.
300
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:03,000
But it's not like this
301
00:12:03,867 --> 00:12:07,433
giggly, fun, um,
302
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,100
like it's really solid.
303
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:12,500
Like he's a really,
really good guy.
304
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,634
He hasn't made
any like physical gestures
305
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:18,100
of being attracted
to me, right.
306
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,367
He didn't hold my hand
on the second date
307
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,734
and we didn't kiss
on the second date,
308
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,166
but this is only
a second date. I get that.
309
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:24,834
But still. So anyway,
310
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,934
before things
progress anymore,
311
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,467
I need to have a conversation
with him about, you know,
312
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:32,367
is he attracted to me and
and everything like that.
313
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,367
So it's like,
314
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,467
yeah, I really like him a lot.
315
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:37,767
Just saying.
[squeals in excitement]
316
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,000
[chuckles]
317
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,767
-[Gabriel] Hi, Mamma.
-Oh, hi, honey.
318
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:55,033
-How are you?
-Do you want some help?
319
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,133
I'm almost done.
320
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,333
Do you want
some breakfast?
321
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,667
Yeah, but I'll make it.
You're good.
322
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:02,467
Gabriel, he's my deep thinker.
323
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,266
He's always been
my deep thinker.
324
00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:07,834
He's been going to Northern
Arizona University.
325
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,033
And I know he's been
speaking with a counselor.
326
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,166
They're really great
at the university
327
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,100
about making those
resources available.
328
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,734
Do you want hard
or soft yolk?
329
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:18,533
I like soft.
330
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:19,900
-You like soft? Me too.
-Yeah.
331
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,000
Your dad always
had this like...
332
00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:25,100
like this system,
333
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,767
like he didn't want them
flipped over.
334
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:29,533
He wanted
to put the lid on or...
335
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,834
Yeah, and he always wants
336
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,667
a lemon
and a cup of hot water
337
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:36,100
-at a restaurant.
-Yeah, he's got his routines.
338
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,667
-[Gabriel] He's
pretty peculiar.
-Yeah.
339
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:43,367
Kody has not really had
much contact with my children
340
00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:46,467
since everything
really went down with COVID.
341
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:49,367
I think everybody's been
just trying to be safe,
342
00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:51,567
and I don't know
why Dad is...
343
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:53,767
Maybe it's a form
of midlife crisis.
344
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,333
See, I don't know.
345
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,300
-I think it's real.
-Oh, I think it's real.
346
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,934
I just don't think
that it's serious enough
347
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,000
for him to not see us
for the next six months.
348
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,934
[Janelle] After
the COVID scare was over
349
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,800
and we all went back
to our normal lives,
350
00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,367
we still couldn't
reconcile as a family
351
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:13,567
because Kody felt like,
352
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:16,467
um, the boys needed
to give an apology to him
353
00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:18,767
and to Robyn,
especially to Robyn.
354
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,433
And after...
355
00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,000
It sort of morphed
into this,
356
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,367
"Well, they just need
to come and talk to me."
357
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:27,533
I mean, Kody's
whole mantra was,
"I've been...
358
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,567
My kids have been
not loyal to me
359
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:32,367
and the most
precious person
360
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,767
in this family who's
given her heart and soul
361
00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,734
has been disrespected,"
362
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,166
or some
bull [bleep] like that.
363
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:39,834
And I'm like,
"Whatever, Kody."
364
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,266
Yeah, whatever.
365
00:14:41,266 --> 00:14:43,266
[Gabriel] He hit me up.
It was, like, strange
366
00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:45,233
because he was like,
"Hey, I miss you."
367
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,033
And then he kept,
like, phrasing it like
368
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,734
I owed him an apology.
369
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:51,900
And he's like...
370
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,367
Eventually I was just like,
"Hey, unless you're like
371
00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:57,634
actually ready to have
a relationship and fix things,
372
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,467
then we're not
gonna talk anymore."
373
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,033
He came back a couple
of days later and texted me.
374
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,667
He was like, "Hey, I've been,
like thinking about what
you've been saying.
375
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,233
I forgive you.
Please forgive me."
376
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,233
I was like,
"Forgive me for what?
377
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:14,133
Like what's going on here?"
378
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:16,934
-So I don't--
-I wonder if there would
379
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,767
ever be any, I don't know.
380
00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:20,867
Because I told him you guys
should get a counselor
381
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:23,467
or something.
I mean, like, I don't know.
382
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:27,000
-What do you think?
-I think Dad... I don't know.
383
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,967
I told Dad that
if he doesn't change
384
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,634
and he can't take
accountability,
385
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,467
then I just won't
ever see him again
386
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,200
and I'm perfectly okay
with that.
387
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Yeah, it's been
a long time.
388
00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:39,934
In the very beginning,
389
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,433
Gabriel took it very hard
390
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,567
because Kody was someone
who would take Gabriel
391
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,567
with him on business trips.
392
00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:49,400
And like they had
a really good relationship.
393
00:15:50,066 --> 00:15:51,634
Kody was an amazing father.
394
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,533
He was a totally
engaged father,
395
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,667
and that continued
396
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,867
through their, you know,
397
00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:59,066
high school years
and everything.
398
00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,266
And then all of a sudden
it was just like,
399
00:16:01,266 --> 00:16:04,066
"Well, you're not obedient.
400
00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:05,367
You're not loyal.
401
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:06,667
You're disrespectful.
402
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,467
So I'm done with you."
403
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,233
Yeah. I don't know.
404
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,000
I don't know
what it would take.
405
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,634
At this point,
everybody is so busy
406
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:15,100
and they're starting
to spread out across
the country and...
407
00:16:16,066 --> 00:16:20,567
I think it would take Dad
really setting things straight
408
00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:23,567
and I think that that
would take an act
of God, so...
409
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,867
I don't really know
what Kody wants.
410
00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:28,133
The last I knew,
he really just thinks
411
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,233
the kids should let him
be their patriarch.
412
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,967
And how that would go,
I think, is that
413
00:16:32,967 --> 00:16:35,433
they would have
to conform to the way that
414
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,333
Kody and Robyn
see the world.
415
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:38,934
That's how I perceive it.
416
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,033
And I think that's how
my kids perceive it, too.
417
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,200
And they just don't want
any part of that.
418
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:47,166
Janelle is just dead wrong
about me and patriarchy.
419
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:48,567
I've never been patriarchal.
420
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:50,467
I've never
behaved patriarchal.
421
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:53,533
I actually was just angry once
when Christine was leaving
422
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,166
and I said, "Hey, we're going
to do this patriarchy thing."
423
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,100
But I've never
been patriarchal.
424
00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,567
He's really set
in the whole
425
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:04,600
like I was just trying to do
what was good for the family.
426
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:06,967
Like he's kind of
stuck there.
427
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:10,433
I don't buy that
at all honestly like...
428
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:15,100
I mean, this isn't like
a popular opinion
in our family,
429
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,367
but I think that
he was doing right
430
00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:24,000
for the family members
that he chose to be with,
431
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,634
not for the family.
432
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,934
I think a lot of the kids
433
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,834
feel like there
was some definite...
434
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,567
-Favoritism.
-Considering one
person's perspective,
435
00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:37,300
-way more than the others.
-I think so.
436
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:39,567
I love my wives.
I love my children.
437
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:42,033
I just wanted
to keep everybody safe.
438
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:42,900
When I got COVID,
439
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,734
I did become
a little bit hostile.
440
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,934
It was like a sort of a bias
from my experience.
441
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,467
I mean, I saw
the Grim Reaper.
442
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,433
It was scary.
443
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:54,266
-And, I mean, I think that
he can say what he wants...
-These look really good.
444
00:17:54,266 --> 00:17:58,033
...but, you know,
if it's brown and it stinks,
445
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,867
it's probably [bleep].
446
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:02,333
My children have
really begun to express
447
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,867
that they feel like COVID
just presented an opportunity
448
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:06,834
for their dad to do
449
00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:08,433
what he's been wanting
to do for a long time,
450
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:12,233
which was live and make a life
with his favorite wife.
451
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,767
I mean, let's not
mince words.
452
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:16,567
And their dad had been
expressing things to them
453
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:18,333
just off the cuff about,
454
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,767
you know, he wished
that he would have waited
455
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,667
and just married Robyn.
456
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,567
I never once
told any of my children
457
00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:26,133
that I wished that
I would have waited
and just married Robyn.
458
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,867
That's a misunderstanding
459
00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:30,834
that has become
a gossip in the family.
460
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,467
It's like the telephone game
461
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,867
or that game where
you just repeat gossip
462
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:36,767
and by the time
it gets back to you,
463
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,867
it's completely distorted.
464
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,133
It's really untrue.
465
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:44,266
I don't know what dad says
that to their kids,
466
00:18:44,266 --> 00:18:47,166
but my kids have
many stories like that.
467
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:49,467
So they automatically
now are thinking that
468
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,667
this was just
an opportunity
469
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:55,934
for him to kind of maneuver
into that position.
470
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,767
I texted Kody, and I said,
"Hey, I went ahead
471
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,100
and started the process
472
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,367
with the official termination
473
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,867
through the church.
474
00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:13,734
And he never responded.
475
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,567
[Kody] I had moved on
a long time ago,
476
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:19,734
but I was afraid
of what she would do
477
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,600
if I ripped off that Band-Aid.
478
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,333
Okay, so, this is an update
479
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,133
on what's going on
with me and Kody.
480
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,100
It's been
an interesting year.
481
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:43,900
Literally, it's been
an interesting year.
482
00:19:45,266 --> 00:19:49,600
You want something
that we can't have together.
483
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:54,634
And we can always
have something else.
484
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,333
But not that.
485
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,834
[Meri] I really,
really felt like that
486
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,266
he was just doing
everything that he could
487
00:20:03,266 --> 00:20:06,467
to have me
be the one to leave.
488
00:20:06,467 --> 00:20:08,233
So that he could say,
489
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,567
"My hands are clean,
she's the one who left."
490
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:14,567
So after that I decided
I was gonna move forward
491
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:20,233
with the official termination
through the church
492
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:22,433
where we
had gotten married.
493
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,667
I texted Kody and I said,
494
00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,133
"Hey, I went ahead
495
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,667
and started the process.
496
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,367
Um, in two weeks,
497
00:20:29,367 --> 00:20:32,734
if you wanna, you know,
give any input,
498
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,000
have anything to do with it
or whatever."
499
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:40,200
And he never
responded to my text.
500
00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:45,634
I did take a trip up to Utah
earlier this week,
501
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:49,400
and I met with the leaders
of our church,
502
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:55,266
and I was granted
a, what is called
in our church, a release.
503
00:20:55,266 --> 00:21:00,333
Um, which is
basically the equivalent
of a divorce. Um...
504
00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:06,233
It was a very,
very hard conversation.
505
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,767
Hard in meaning
heartbreaking
506
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,734
because this is not
what I wanted to do.
507
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:18,100
This is not what I intended
when I married Kody.
508
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,867
Back in 2014, Kody and I
509
00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:21,567
did do a legal divorce.
510
00:21:21,567 --> 00:21:24,100
And for me,
that whole process
511
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,467
was purely for the fact
512
00:21:26,467 --> 00:21:29,567
that he could
then marry Robyn legally
513
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:32,567
and then adopt
her three older kids.
514
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:34,867
But our spiritual marriage,
515
00:21:34,867 --> 00:21:38,233
our spiritual sealing,
was still intact.
516
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:42,800
When we marry,
it is for eternity.
Like, that's the intention.
517
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:50,266
So once I had that
terminated or released,
518
00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:51,967
that means it's done.
519
00:21:51,967 --> 00:21:56,667
Like, there's no...
there's no bound
520
00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:58,800
that keeps us
together for eternity.
521
00:21:59,867 --> 00:22:04,333
So Kody and I
are no longer married
in any way, shape or form.
522
00:22:05,467 --> 00:22:06,734
[sighs]
523
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,500
So there's that.
524
00:22:12,266 --> 00:22:16,367
So Robyn and I
were driving home
and I got a phone call
525
00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:17,867
from the church leader
526
00:22:17,867 --> 00:22:21,767
who said,
"We've given Meri a release."
527
00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:24,000
And he said a few other things
that I don't wanna
528
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,100
necessarily disclose,
that sort of upset me.
529
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:31,066
They did say that it was on
the grounds of abandonment,
530
00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:33,133
and I know
he doesn't like that word.
531
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,500
Because he doesn't feel
like he abandoned me.
532
00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:39,467
Um, I feel like he did.
533
00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:42,233
Robyn felt
that if I waited on God,
534
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:43,867
that things could change
535
00:22:43,867 --> 00:22:45,433
for mine
and Meri's relationship.
536
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,000
And that was advice
that I took
537
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:51,333
and I waited,
and as time went on,
538
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,400
I realized that
it was never really
going to work.
539
00:22:55,066 --> 00:22:56,834
And I'm sorry
to Meri for that.
540
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:59,000
I wish I would have
figured it out sooner.
541
00:23:00,867 --> 00:23:02,066
I'm gonna be going around
542
00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:04,567
and pulling down
all pictures of Kody and me.
543
00:23:04,567 --> 00:23:06,567
They don't need
to be there anymore.
544
00:23:06,567 --> 00:23:08,934
We're not a couple anymore.
545
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,166
And also we have spent
33 years together.
546
00:23:11,166 --> 00:23:14,000
This is like, literally,
the majority of my life.
547
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,867
I was 19
when we got married, right?
548
00:23:15,867 --> 00:23:18,934
Like, it is
my whole adult life.
549
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:26,233
[Robyn] Kody's been emotional
550
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,166
about this with Meri.
551
00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:31,467
He shed tears
about the fact
552
00:23:31,467 --> 00:23:34,166
that he and Meri
are splitting.
553
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:37,533
And he said,
"I just wish it didn't
have to be this way."
554
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,834
Oh, I'm absolutely relieved
that it's done.
555
00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:43,233
It's sad.
It's heartbreaking,
556
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:45,467
but I am relieved
that it's done.
557
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:48,033
I had moved on
a long time ago,
558
00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:50,433
but let's just
be honest here.
559
00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:54,233
I was afraid
of what she would do
560
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,834
if I ripped off
that Band-Aid.
561
00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:01,033
It's 'cause Meri
was never loyal to me, ever.
562
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:02,367
That's what
I've been worried about
563
00:24:02,367 --> 00:24:03,567
is just kind of reputation.
564
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:07,233
'Cause when you get divorced,
your reputation is trashed.
565
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:12,367
[Meri] It's really
just sad that Kody
566
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:14,066
is talking about our marriage
567
00:24:14,066 --> 00:24:15,867
the way that
he's talking about it.
568
00:24:15,867 --> 00:24:21,266
It feels like the narrative
has changed with him.
569
00:24:21,266 --> 00:24:23,533
But the things
that he's saying
570
00:24:24,166 --> 00:24:25,634
about me to other people,
571
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:28,767
and that people
are believing, are not true.
572
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:33,367
I'm just starting fresh
and new and single and me
573
00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:36,767
and, you know, I have
a lot of plans and ideas...
574
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:42,300
And I've got
a lot of things ahead of me
that I'm super excited about.
575
00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:45,634
And also I'm dealing
with this pain right now.
576
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,700
So it's this weird
conflict in my head, but...
577
00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:52,533
No, I have not told
anybody in the family
578
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,266
that I went through
this divorce process
579
00:24:56,266 --> 00:25:00,100
besides my own kid, you know?
And obviously Kody knows,
580
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,367
and so whoever he's told.
I'm sure he's told Robyn,
581
00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:05,233
but I just
don't see it necessary.
582
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:06,467
You know,
Janelle and Christine
583
00:25:06,467 --> 00:25:08,266
are already
separated from Kody
584
00:25:08,266 --> 00:25:10,166
and moving on
and doing their own thing.
585
00:25:10,166 --> 00:25:14,166
And it would just be weird
for me to just pick up a phone
586
00:25:14,166 --> 00:25:14,967
and tell somebody,
587
00:25:14,967 --> 00:25:17,533
who I don't
really talk to anyway,
588
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:21,567
that I just separated.
589
00:25:21,567 --> 00:25:23,867
[Janelle] So Kody called me
to talk about something
590
00:25:23,867 --> 00:25:25,634
and he's like, "Oh,
by the way, Meri got her
591
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:28,166
spiritual release from me."
And I'm like, "Okay, good.
592
00:25:28,166 --> 00:25:29,567
Good for her. I didn't know
you could do that."
593
00:25:29,567 --> 00:25:30,533
I didn't know
we were eligible
594
00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:32,100
'cause we're no longer
part of the community,
595
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:34,567
but I'm like, "Good.
All right, cool."
596
00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:35,967
I don't even know
who to ask.
597
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,166
I don't even know anybody
598
00:25:37,166 --> 00:25:38,734
at the church
over there anymore.
599
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,100
And I...
I just don't feel
inclined to
600
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:43,634
because I'm just not...
I don't know.
601
00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:45,166
Just is not
an issue for me.
602
00:25:45,166 --> 00:25:46,734
I'm not even
part of that church.
603
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,133
And I don't respect
any of the leaders
of that church.
604
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,066
And I don't think they have
any say over my life.
605
00:25:52,066 --> 00:25:55,000
But Meri did, and I am
really glad that she did.
606
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,433
I'm glad that
she got the release.
607
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:58,133
I think that's
really, really cool.
608
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,767
Good for her.
609
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:04,000
I've no intention of becoming
the bitter ex-wife.
610
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,433
Um, I just don't want
that for me.
611
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,533
It doesn't serve me, so...
612
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,900
I'm letting go
of all of that.
613
00:26:13,567 --> 00:26:16,166
It's sad because
there were so many times
614
00:26:16,166 --> 00:26:22,233
when Meri and Kody and I
would be together hanging out
615
00:26:23,467 --> 00:26:25,834
and I would
just feel the destiny in it.
616
00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:27,767
Do you want me to leave
so you guys can kiss hi?
617
00:26:27,767 --> 00:26:29,567
[laughs]
618
00:26:29,567 --> 00:26:32,100
No, we can...
Here, she's not looking.
619
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:34,266
-Okay.
-Oh, jeez.
620
00:26:34,266 --> 00:26:38,266
[Robyn] And I just really hope
that she continues to
621
00:26:38,266 --> 00:26:40,667
want to be friends with him,
want to be friends with me
622
00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,266
and that we can
still have some of those
623
00:26:42,266 --> 00:26:44,500
experiences together and...
624
00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:48,734
And I just hope
Meri is okay.
625
00:26:51,567 --> 00:26:52,533
[Meri] I'm glad it's done,
626
00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:54,700
and now I can
start the new year fresh.
627
00:26:55,567 --> 00:26:58,934
And also,
it's heartbreaking.
628
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,066
[Meri] Fireworks.
629
00:27:00,066 --> 00:27:02,233
-Yeah, fireworks.
-[Meri laughing]
630
00:27:03,266 --> 00:27:06,734
[Meri] I'll never
regret the years
631
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,266
because I know
that I am who I am today
632
00:27:10,266 --> 00:27:12,266
because of what
I have learned,
633
00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:14,867
what I have
gone through, you know?
634
00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:17,200
And I'm happy
with who I am.
635
00:27:20,467 --> 00:27:24,567
And I'm also looking forward
to what's to come.
636
00:27:24,567 --> 00:27:27,200
Who knows what's gonna be
in my future, you know?
637
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,533
There's a lot
of anger towards Robyn.
638
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,166
If she actually believes that
639
00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:39,166
we were mistreating her
or her children in any way
640
00:27:39,166 --> 00:27:42,667
when she was constantly
getting favorited by Dad,
641
00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:44,867
then there's no chance
of me having a relationship
642
00:27:44,867 --> 00:27:46,400
with Robyn ever again.
643
00:27:58,700 --> 00:27:59,834
So, yeah, I don't know.
644
00:27:59,834 --> 00:28:04,467
I mean, like, your dad will,
um, he does see Savannah.
645
00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:06,033
It's not frequently.
646
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:09,000
But every couple
of months or,
647
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,567
you know, he'll call
and they'll go out.
648
00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:12,834
But, you know, I don't know.
649
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,233
The rest of the kids
don't really have much
650
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:17,934
of any kind
of connection with him.
651
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,834
I've talked
to Savannah about it,
652
00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:21,634
and she's like,
"Look, I just have
653
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,567
come to realize
that this is who he is.
654
00:28:23,567 --> 00:28:25,266
He's gonna be
kind of that dad
655
00:28:25,266 --> 00:28:27,367
who shows up
and we have a lot of fun
656
00:28:27,367 --> 00:28:28,300
and then he's gone."
657
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:30,567
I can meet him
where he's at. It's okay.
658
00:28:30,567 --> 00:28:37,233
But my older boys
take really strong
responsibility for Savannah.
659
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,000
In fact, Savannah,
as a side note,
Savannah said that
660
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,367
that's who will
walk her down the aisle
661
00:28:40,367 --> 00:28:42,834
when she gets married,
will be her brothers.
662
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:45,300
What do you
think about, um...
663
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,433
'Cause he used to always,
you know, like,
664
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:48,867
"I have somebody
in my life
665
00:28:48,867 --> 00:28:51,667
who just
sacrificed everything
666
00:28:51,667 --> 00:28:53,667
and did everything
for this family,
667
00:28:53,667 --> 00:28:54,900
and we've
treated her like dirt."
668
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:58,367
And I'm like,
"I don't remember
ever treating her badly."
669
00:28:58,367 --> 00:29:00,066
I think that Robyn...
670
00:29:03,266 --> 00:29:06,133
...definitely
has a victim complex...
671
00:29:07,967 --> 00:29:09,600
I mean, to put it bluntly.
672
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,667
I don't necessarily
blame her for that.
673
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:15,433
I think
that different people,
674
00:29:16,066 --> 00:29:17,967
you know,
devise different strategies
675
00:29:17,967 --> 00:29:20,667
to keep themselves
afloat. But...
676
00:29:20,667 --> 00:29:24,066
And I feel really bad
about the kids 'cause
I'm like, you know--
677
00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:26,433
I miss having a relationship
with all of them.
678
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,767
But I also...
I don't blame them at all
679
00:29:29,767 --> 00:29:32,900
for following on...
along party lines, you know?
680
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,867
My kids aren't really...
They are very...
681
00:29:36,867 --> 00:29:39,133
There's a lot of anger
towards Robyn.
682
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,467
They just feel
like Robyn is always
683
00:29:42,467 --> 00:29:44,834
kind of waiting
to, like, to say...
684
00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:46,667
When they say something
or do something,
685
00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:48,333
she's gonna
twist it all around.
686
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,567
That's how they feel about,
how they feel about it.
687
00:29:50,567 --> 00:29:53,166
You know what I mean?
They're leery of Robyn.
688
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:54,567
They are.
689
00:29:54,567 --> 00:29:58,233
If she actually
believes that
690
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:01,300
we were mistreating her
or her children in any way,
691
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:06,133
when she was constantly
getting favorited by Dad,
692
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,266
and we were always working
693
00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:10,467
on our relationship
with her kids...
694
00:30:10,467 --> 00:30:13,433
If she actually believes that,
then there's no chance
695
00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:15,800
of me having a relationship
with Robyn ever again.
696
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,367
Robyn always
strongly supported
697
00:30:18,367 --> 00:30:20,634
my relationships
with the whole family.
698
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:21,700
Robyn herself,
699
00:30:21,700 --> 00:30:24,967
her last two conversations
with Janelle were...
700
00:30:24,967 --> 00:30:27,767
was Robyn begging Janelle
701
00:30:27,767 --> 00:30:30,166
to have
a relationship with her.
702
00:30:30,166 --> 00:30:32,133
Janelle's
a relationship coward.
703
00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:34,133
And I don't know.
704
00:30:34,133 --> 00:30:36,166
I just I don't have
a lot of respect for Robyn,
705
00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:40,000
so it's hard
for me to rationalize
some of her actions.
706
00:30:41,166 --> 00:30:42,634
And maybe,
you know, maybe that's
707
00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:43,500
the reason that she's like,
708
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,567
"Oh, you,
you've always hated us,"
709
00:30:45,567 --> 00:30:49,133
is because she doesn't
have our respect anymore.
710
00:30:50,467 --> 00:30:53,367
Because she does
[bleep] like that.
711
00:30:53,367 --> 00:30:55,033
[Janelle] I don't know.
712
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:56,433
It's really, really a mess.
713
00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:57,900
It just feels like
it's such a mess.
714
00:30:58,767 --> 00:31:00,667
I don't know
what really happened there,
715
00:31:00,667 --> 00:31:06,333
but they feel like there was
a lot of, um, triangulation.
716
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,100
Like, ego stroking,
like, manipulation.
717
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:12,367
I, at this point, I am...
718
00:31:12,367 --> 00:31:18,667
The thing I want most
is to just have a relationship
with Robyn's children again.
719
00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:20,567
Like, when, I mean,
in middle school, Aurora
720
00:31:20,567 --> 00:31:23,000
was my favorite person
to hang out with.
721
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,333
And in high school, I would
always try to hit Dayton up.
722
00:31:26,767 --> 00:31:30,800
But I'm not hopeful
for a relationship
with Dad and Robyn.
723
00:31:31,367 --> 00:31:33,133
Um, Gabriel really
is sort of...
724
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,266
He's at peace.
He's at peace
725
00:31:34,266 --> 00:31:36,166
that his dad
is not in his life.
726
00:31:36,166 --> 00:31:39,934
And, you know,
that's what I hope
for all of my kids,
727
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,133
and I think
they're all getting there.
728
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,567
I don't know
what his beef is with me.
729
00:31:43,567 --> 00:31:47,367
I think it's because
I literally sat him down
and had a conversation
730
00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:49,033
-about it with him.
-Yeah.
731
00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:50,767
And he just couldn't...
732
00:31:50,767 --> 00:31:52,567
he just couldn't
handle the fact
733
00:31:52,567 --> 00:31:54,934
that I was calm
and collected
734
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,433
and said, "Hey, you're...
you're hurting this family.
735
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:58,533
No one else."
736
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,266
And he's like...
something like,
737
00:32:01,266 --> 00:32:02,767
"You're not loyal,
just like your mother."
738
00:32:02,767 --> 00:32:04,533
And I was like, "Okay."
739
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,934
Oh. It's okay.
You know, I'm good.
740
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,300
He can say
what he wants to say.
741
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,567
This conversation
never happened.
742
00:32:11,567 --> 00:32:13,033
COVID caused
a lot of problems
743
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,300
for a lot of people,
all right?
744
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:18,367
But those people
whose relationships
had the fortitude...
745
00:32:18,367 --> 00:32:23,100
to survive,
those relationships survived.
746
00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:24,467
It's so interesting
'cause Kody throws around
747
00:32:24,467 --> 00:32:26,467
this like, "You're not loyal,
you don't respect me."
748
00:32:26,467 --> 00:32:28,767
And I'm like,
"I'm thinking that's
a two-way street, buddy."
749
00:32:28,767 --> 00:32:30,767
He was never
like that before.
750
00:32:30,767 --> 00:32:33,667
He used to not
ever use these words.
751
00:32:33,667 --> 00:32:36,066
It was always
about love and charity
752
00:32:36,066 --> 00:32:38,667
and work together as a team
and all this and now suddenly
753
00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:41,367
it's about loyalty
and respect and disrespect
754
00:32:41,367 --> 00:32:43,266
and not loyal
and all these things.
755
00:32:43,266 --> 00:32:46,033
So he's had
some sort of a flip.
756
00:32:46,100 --> 00:32:47,000
But how are
you doing, Mom?
757
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,233
I'm all right.
Everything is really good.
758
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,233
I'm happy.
Really, really happy.
759
00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:53,867
-So...
-I mean, it's not
easy though.
760
00:32:53,867 --> 00:32:57,533
I stuck it out
because you guys
were still home and all that.
761
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,567
And then when he no longer
was a really great father,
762
00:33:01,567 --> 00:33:03,433
it's kind of... I kind of
feel like I had the ability
763
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,900
to go
do something different. So...
764
00:33:06,867 --> 00:33:09,634
I'm just
so frustrated with Kody.
765
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:10,800
Look, I've seen
this happen.
766
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,266
I have several women I've
worked with over the years
767
00:33:13,266 --> 00:33:15,634
who... who divorced
768
00:33:15,700 --> 00:33:19,433
and then the father just goes
MIA with the kids, you know?
769
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,867
I'm really sorry
that Gabriel feels this way.
770
00:33:21,867 --> 00:33:27,567
I have reached out
to him multiple times,
only to get rejected.
771
00:33:27,567 --> 00:33:30,700
But it wasn't from a lack
of trying on my part.
772
00:33:32,100 --> 00:33:34,367
I am glad you did seek out
counseling on your own.
773
00:33:34,367 --> 00:33:36,567
And I thought
that was really smart. So...
774
00:33:36,567 --> 00:33:38,233
I think a lot
of us need it.
775
00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:41,166
I do, too. I actually
think we all need it. So...
776
00:33:41,166 --> 00:33:43,667
I mean, you don't just
go through your family
777
00:33:43,667 --> 00:33:48,600
-crumbling to bits
and not need therapy. Like...
-Yeah. Yeah.
778
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,967
Look, I know that probably
for long-term emotional health
779
00:33:57,967 --> 00:34:00,066
there needs to be
some resolution.
780
00:34:00,066 --> 00:34:03,533
And right now, the kids
are still processing it a lot.
781
00:34:04,567 --> 00:34:08,033
I would like to see them
come to a place of peace.
782
00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:12,200
Maybe not reconciliation,
though, 'cause I'm not sure
reconciliation is possible.
783
00:34:16,867 --> 00:34:17,967
[Robyn] When I
was a young girl,
784
00:34:17,967 --> 00:34:20,867
I wanted to be
in a plural family.
785
00:34:20,867 --> 00:34:23,266
That's something
that was a really
big deal to me.
786
00:34:23,266 --> 00:34:26,900
This isn't what I envisioned
my life to be.
787
00:34:27,967 --> 00:34:30,133
[voice shaking]
I don't see my future anymore.
788
00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:36,367
For me now,
my prayer was just like,
save me and Robyn
789
00:34:36,367 --> 00:34:39,700
after this horrible experience
of breaking up.
790
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:56,500
It's 1:00 a.m.
on the 24th of December.
791
00:34:57,667 --> 00:35:02,467
And this
is the first Christmas
since I married Kody
792
00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:07,033
that I won't have
any other family around,
793
00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:09,734
except for just me
and the kids and Kody.
794
00:35:11,266 --> 00:35:12,400
Um...
795
00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:36,634
When I was a young girl,
796
00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:39,667
I wanted to be
in a plural family.
797
00:35:39,667 --> 00:35:41,667
It was something that was
a really big deal to me.
798
00:35:41,667 --> 00:35:44,467
And then as I got older,
I went through a process
799
00:35:44,467 --> 00:35:46,133
of trying to figure out
800
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:49,467
if I, you know,
still wanted to live this way.
801
00:35:49,467 --> 00:35:50,734
You know,
'cause when you're young,
802
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,567
you kind of do what your
parents want you to do.
803
00:35:53,567 --> 00:35:55,567
And you kind of feel like
804
00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:57,767
this is, you know,
you grew up a certain way,
805
00:35:57,767 --> 00:36:00,266
so this is how
you're gonna live and...
806
00:36:00,266 --> 00:36:03,300
And then as I got older, I...
807
00:36:09,266 --> 00:36:13,800
[all speaking indistinctly]
808
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,066
[Robyn] And when I saw
Kody's family,
809
00:36:16,066 --> 00:36:19,934
I was so excited
to be a part of it.
810
00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:26,300
I liked how they were
one family.
811
00:36:28,867 --> 00:36:32,400
This isn't what I envisioned
my life to be.
812
00:36:35,467 --> 00:36:37,600
I always wanted
to live plural marriage.
813
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,567
I'm in this place
where everything
814
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:46,367
that's going on
is just... it's taking away
815
00:36:46,367 --> 00:36:48,100
all those choices for me.
816
00:36:49,266 --> 00:36:51,233
I'm struggling
with my identity
817
00:36:51,300 --> 00:36:56,000
and what does it mean?
And... Uh...
818
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,600
[voice shaking]
I don't see my future anymore.
819
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:03,767
[sniffles]
820
00:37:03,767 --> 00:37:06,634
And the hopes
and dreams that I had
821
00:37:07,667 --> 00:37:11,800
are just disappearing
before my eyes.
822
00:37:13,667 --> 00:37:16,033
[crying]
823
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:17,467
Robyn's holding on
to something,
824
00:37:17,467 --> 00:37:20,333
I've always said
this woman has a spine
825
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,166
of concrete and steel,
826
00:37:22,166 --> 00:37:23,166
and she's been holding on
827
00:37:23,166 --> 00:37:25,100
to the dream
that I sold her on
828
00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:27,467
with my family
for a lot longer.
829
00:37:27,467 --> 00:37:28,467
But I keep trying to go,
830
00:37:28,467 --> 00:37:30,033
"Let's move on.
831
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:31,467
Let's let this go.
832
00:37:31,467 --> 00:37:33,600
Let's just tell ourselves
833
00:37:34,467 --> 00:37:36,567
and believe it
because I believe it now,
834
00:37:36,567 --> 00:37:39,033
it was never meant to be.
835
00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:40,667
It was never meant to work."
836
00:37:40,667 --> 00:37:41,767
We had children together.
837
00:37:41,767 --> 00:37:43,467
We gave life
to these children.
838
00:37:43,467 --> 00:37:46,166
These children
can have a great life,
839
00:37:46,166 --> 00:37:48,700
just not with a mom and dad
that are together.
840
00:38:05,367 --> 00:38:10,367
[Meri] You know,
overall, when I look at
what our family has been
841
00:38:10,367 --> 00:38:12,166
and looking
at what it is now,
842
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,467
it is very sad.
843
00:38:13,467 --> 00:38:15,367
And, you know, when...
844
00:38:15,367 --> 00:38:21,066
when you find out
that your husband
just really didn't love you,
845
00:38:21,066 --> 00:38:25,100
nor did he, with many of
the other wives in the family,
846
00:38:25,100 --> 00:38:28,467
it's like,
"Well, you know, I'm sad
that it's come to this,
847
00:38:28,467 --> 00:38:31,233
but like, why did it take
so long to come to this?
848
00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:32,367
Why did it even start
849
00:38:32,367 --> 00:38:34,533
if this isn't something that
850
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,233
he was interested in,
you know?"
851
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:51,233
And so I need to make sure
they all still have a holiday
that's special and sweet.
852
00:38:52,867 --> 00:38:55,100
It just hit me so hard
that I just...
853
00:38:57,166 --> 00:39:00,200
I just don't get to have
the perfect Christmas.
854
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:06,400
'Cause my family's
not here.
855
00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:11,066
[indistinct shouting]
856
00:39:11,066 --> 00:39:14,000
One, two, three, go!
857
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,133
[all exclaiming]
858
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:21,533
[Christine] What we had,
where all of us were together,
859
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,900
those were some
pretty fun Christmases.
860
00:39:27,266 --> 00:39:28,266
[Janelle] You know,
we all sat down.
861
00:39:28,266 --> 00:39:30,734
They opened
their presents one at a time,
862
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,033
and we had
certain foods for Christmas,
863
00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:34,333
and it was just really fun.
864
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,333
And it just feels
like now that,
865
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,634
especially
with the big changes
in family dynamic,
866
00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:42,233
it's time to do something
a little bit different.
867
00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:44,667
It's time to create
some new traditions
868
00:39:44,667 --> 00:39:46,533
and some new things
to have fun with,
869
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,533
and some new ways
to celebrate,
870
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,166
that have nothing to do
with how things used to be
871
00:39:52,166 --> 00:39:54,800
and everything to do
with how you want them to be.
872
00:39:55,967 --> 00:40:00,100
[indistinct shouting]
873
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:05,567
For me now?
My prayer was just,
like, "Save me and Robyn."
874
00:40:05,567 --> 00:40:08,667
I have this wonderful
relationship with her.
875
00:40:08,667 --> 00:40:10,166
The pain of this experience
876
00:40:10,166 --> 00:40:13,767
has caused much trouble
in our own relationship.
877
00:40:13,767 --> 00:40:16,967
It's been a real struggle,
so I hope and pray
878
00:40:16,967 --> 00:40:18,567
that we just manage it.
879
00:40:18,567 --> 00:40:21,867
That we, we...
we save our marriage.
That we save us.
880
00:40:21,867 --> 00:40:26,500
We save the special
that we started out with,
881
00:40:27,700 --> 00:40:31,000
after this horrible experience
of breaking up.
882
00:40:32,567 --> 00:40:34,400
I'm just so heartbroken.
883
00:40:36,567 --> 00:40:37,667
[softly] Oh, my God.
884
00:40:37,667 --> 00:40:39,934
The only thing that keeps
my head above the water...
885
00:40:53,367 --> 00:40:55,967
I just had to take a moment
886
00:40:55,967 --> 00:41:01,433
and feel it and...
and process.
887
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:07,133
[sobbing] So I can
get up tomorrow,
888
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,667
put on a happy face
and make it beautiful
889
00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:14,900
and make it special
and... I owe that to my kids.
890
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:19,166
And I know that
Kody's gonna struggle,
891
00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:22,934
and I don't know,
I just... [crying]
892
00:41:25,667 --> 00:41:27,800
It's just not what I expected
my life to be.
893
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,133
And I... I don't know
how to let it go.
894
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:38,266
[indistinct shouting]
895
00:41:38,266 --> 00:41:41,233
[all] Merry Christmas!
896
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:43,100
[all cheering]
897
00:41:45,266 --> 00:41:47,367
[narrator reading]
898
00:41:47,367 --> 00:41:50,166
[Meri] There's absolutely
no way, shape or form
899
00:41:50,166 --> 00:41:52,667
I would choose
to spend Christmas with them.
900
00:41:52,667 --> 00:41:53,900
We're done.
901
00:41:55,867 --> 00:41:56,867
I'm 50.
902
00:41:56,867 --> 00:41:58,867
I know what I want.
I know what I had before.
903
00:41:58,867 --> 00:42:00,467
So do you think
this is long-term?
904
00:42:00,467 --> 00:42:01,433
Yes.
905
00:42:01,433 --> 00:42:03,867
We have said the magical words
to each other.
906
00:42:03,867 --> 00:42:05,233
He did say it first.
907
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:06,867
I said it right after though.
908
00:42:06,867 --> 00:42:09,834
So I'm excited to where
this is going to be going to.
909
00:42:11,867 --> 00:42:13,166
[Kody] You know
what really sucks?
910
00:42:13,166 --> 00:42:14,734
It's not divorce that sucks.
911
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,567
It's marrying
the wrong person.
912
00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:20,133
What sucks
is marrying the wrong person
913
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,367
and not having
the decency to tell her
914
00:42:22,367 --> 00:42:25,066
until 32 years later.
915
00:42:25,066 --> 00:42:27,800
I wish I wouldn't have
ever married her.