[Janelle] Previously on "Sister Wives."
So I am in New Orleans.
Property's closed, like it's free.
I'm like, "It's good." Everything's good.
[woman] Another beautiful night.
Here's to Janelle getting a new man.
[Janelle] They are really pushing the dating thing.
They can push. It doesn't mean I have to act.
You don't have any handsome farmers around us, do you?
-[all laugh] -I wouldn't tell you.
[woman #2] Oh, no.
Maybe you could explain to me, what it is...
-[Meri laughs] -...that you've committed us to.
So it's not gonna be like a speed dating thing.
-What's it called? -I don't know.
It's like Vegas girls or something like that.
-You're nervous. -Well, because dating is weird.
Dating is weird.
I really have no idea what we've gotten into.
We're just gonna have fun. And if I meet somebody, cool.
[Kody] After the sell at Coyote Pass,
I was disappointed.
I've been saying embarrassed, but the real factor is
is that I felt shame.
I'm in North Carolina right now.
I'm traveling here to meet with Janelle.
It's an effort to just say, "Have a great" --
I don't even know how to say it.
I don't even know what to say, really.
I was hurt, and I was angry, and I was betrayed,
and I wanted to...
I had a feeling of "Let's get even."
I'm on the right path.
I'm looking forward to laying it all out bare
with what I've done.
[main theme playing]
[upbeat music playing]
[Amber] Do we have to do that?
[Meri] What have we gotten ourselves into?
[Amber] Do we have to?
So Amber and I came to Vegas.
We came for this speed dating type event.
-[woman] Hello, ladies. -Hello.
Hi.
Are you guys ready to find love?
-Yes, actually. -[Amber] Sure.
So this is kind of like a speed dating type event
at a golf location and kind of like a bar area.
Hopefully there's about an equal amount of
girls and guys. I haven't seen that yet.
But maybe, maybe it'll happen.
-OK, -[man] So you're gonna scan
the QR code. -OK.
[man] It'll have you fill out a questionnaire.
So around 8:45 or so, we'll break you
into some smaller groups.
And then it'll do another countdown.
And you're gonna get the match
that it thinks is your best match based on the answers
that you put into there. -That's a really long time from now.
[man] Uh, yes --
So we're supposed to mingle
with random people -Yes, so...
-For over an hour?
That's what the liquid courage is for.
OK, got it.
We're going to go far in here.
I'm nervous. We both are.
Not quite sure what to expect. We're just doing it.
Here we go. Here we go.
[Amber] Now we have to answer these questions.
"Flirting is a form of cheating."
Yes.
"Strongly disagree. Strongly agree."
I agree.
Yeah, I definitely think that if you're flirting
with somebody and you're in a relationship,
I mean, you shouldn't be doing that.
I think flirting in a plural relationship is, like,
you need to be careful with it and you need to actually
nurture all of your relationships
if you're wanting to flirt with somebody
in front of somebody else.
If one wife is not secure and you're out there flirting
with the other wife in front of her, that's just rude.
You know, Kody was naturally warm and was naturally um...
demonstrative.
You know, that was just...
What it was, you know, was plural marriage,
was what we were living.
And I never thought it was a good idea to hide it anyway,
but that was something they had established
before I even came along.
Um, I mean, Kody always had little things that he would do
to flirt with us all.
It was normal.
It didn't bother me, yeah.
He'd do a little wink or something, you know,
and I guess sort of like a little flirt with us
in front of each other.
And it didn't really ever bother me.
I mean, that's part of plural marriage.
Everything pretty much was like, when you were
with everybody, you were classy, you know, you didn't really
do stuff like that.
That's like -- that'd be like a polygamous family killer,
I would think, you know, to be all like that.
OK, next question's gonna be your favorite.
-"I prefer kinky sex." -[Meri] Wait, wait.
-I, what? -Yep.
Mm.
-What'd you put? -What'd you put?
-[Meri] One. -[Amber laughs]
I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't know,
but there's that. OK.
When you know, you would change your answer.
I'm just saying.
I feel bad 'cause I know that these days with dating,
it's very complicated. It's not what it used to be.
You know, the smartphone has just totally annihilated
that whole thought process.
I feel bad for people that are having to go
through this process now.
"You're in. Keep an eye on your text.
"When your host runs the algorithm,
you'll get your match from this number."
Yay.
This is weird. All right.
Where are we going?
I don't know.
Let's walk.
I definitely go in with low expectations, and then
if something happens, great, you know?
What about, uh...
the guy there looking at his phone?
[indistinct chatter]
[Amber] Not for me, for you.
-No, I don't think so. -No?
I wanted to wait, you know,
maybe not everybody was there yet.
Maybe other people were gonna show up.
There is this one guy here who's got his eye out
for that girl. -[Amber] Yep.
[Meri] 100%.
I saw him walk in, and he was like, "Yep,
I know who I want."
I mean, there's a decent amount of people.
Definitely the majority are women.
Um, I was kind of hoping that there would be
more men and maybe more men in that I would be, interested in,
but at the same time, like, this is what dating is about.
This is dating.
And I don't know if...
I mean, I haven't dated since I was a teenager,
but I think the dating scene
is just kinda tough for...
I think it's just tough all around.
Are we just being party poopers?
-Maybe. -Are we being too picky?
Maybe.
[Amber] Are we closed off?
I see nobody of interest at all for me or for you.
I don't either. I see nobody.
I feel like I get to be picky.
You know, and I get that, like, I'm not gonna find,
like, the perfect person that checks all the boxes.
I don't think the perfect person exists.
But the perfect person for me exists,
and that's -- that's who I'm looking for.
So I think I get to be picky.
[soft pensive music playing]
I'm here in North Carolina so that I can meet up
with Janelle and basically...
just following through with my plans for apology
to my ex wives.
And I'm willing to accept
that it might happen with rejection,
and I might have to just do my best to stay the course.
I don't wanna fight. I just wanna apologize.
You know, since Kody first called me and said,
"I wanna come meet with you," I thought...
"Why?" I mean, why now?
You know, and I think that was part of the reason I was like,
"Well, I'll go see, I'm curious what you have to say,
but is this gonna be even for real"?
-Hi. -[Janelle] Hi.
-How are you? -Good.
-Are you feeling healthy? -Yeah, I am.
Good, good. Nice to see you.
Thanks for meeting with me. I appreciate it.
[Janelle] Thanks.
I guess, you know, I saw Kody in person when we all met up
at Coyote Pass, and that was so awkward.
We didn't really talk to each other.
It was just awkward.
Robyn was there, and that makes the dynamic really weird.
Kody feels like he has to run interference and protect Robyn
and, like, I don't know, whatever.
I don't know, whatever.
Like, it was so awkward and disjointed
when we all met up at the property.
And this is just he and I.
There's no other outside parties.
There's no politics.
-Have you eaten here before? -I have.
-It's really good. -[Kody] Yeah?
-Awesome. -Yeah.
-So. -[Kody] Well...
-Good choice then. -[Janelle] Yeah.
-It's like people that I know like this place. -Oh, OK, cool.
-And so they recommended it. -OK, cool.
And I'm like, when you said this, I'm like,
"OK, sure." -Yeah.
-[Janelle] Sure. -All right.
The town, it's all quaint.
I wore a jacket because I couldn't see humidity,
assuming that it would be a little bit high. -[Janelle] Yeah.
But it seemed cold 'cause all the weather was pretty cool.
Yeah, we've had an unusual year.
-We have. -Like, it's cool.
Yeah.
♪♪
So that's...
That's great. Uh.
This is so awkward, but even if you have to start out
with the weather,
you gotta start out with some conversation
to break a little bit of ice.
You can't just jump into something, especially
as heavy as an apology.
I don't wanna talk to Kody ever again.
Kody contacted and wants to have a conversation.
I need to know what the motive is, which is so sad to admit.
[Meri] I literally knew Kody for two months at the time
that we got engaged.
There's no way I would ever do that again.
[gentle techno music playing]
This is the weirdest experience.
You know what? Golfing has never been my thing, right?
I mean, I've done mini golf, and I think mini golf is
a lot of fun.
I don't know. I'm not good at golf,
and so I'm not gonna go up with a bunch of people
that I'm not comfortable with and, like,
do something that I look stupid doing, either, so.
Three, two.
I'm not trying to discount my 30 years of marriage,
but I know what I want and I know what I don't want
based on experiences that I've had.
I literally knew Kody for two months at the time
that we got engaged.
We knew each other for six months at the time
that we got married.
You know, like, we came from a religious culture
that promoted that, for sure, and so it was normal for us,
but there's no way I would ever do that again.
[woman] All right, everybody.
It's the moment that you've all been waiting for.
In a few seconds,
you are about to get a text message to your phone.
You will get your match!
-[all] Whoo! -Whoo!
You know, I think it's gonna be interesting to see
if they even match me with somebody, um...
just based on this questionnaire,
that maybe they will, maybe they won't, I don't know.
But it doesn't feel like
a speed dating event at all.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, I think the structure of the speed dating event
that I went to up in Salt Lake was so much better.
Tell me about yourself. How long have you been single?
-Single, two years. -[Ron] Two years.
-I have a dog. -Nice.
I have a child.
I'm really glad that I met Ron at the other event.
Um...he and I have a really cool connection.
But this is just the world that I'm living in right now.
You know, the dating scene is weird.
You know, it's like, sometimes it's gonna be fun,
sometimes I'm gonna be interested in a guy
and he's not gonna be interested in me, sometimes vice versa.
You know what I mean? Like, it's just...
It just is what it is.
I didn't end up getting matched with anybody,
and I'm OK with that
because I didn't see anybody
that I wanted to be matched with,
so it was a win.
[Amber] OK.
I think we're out.
No, I'm not disappointed.
I think this is just the process.
I think this is the game that I'm in right now.
But I'm up for the adventure 'cause I do want to find
my person, you know?
You know, they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
And I'm definitely leaving this experience here,
and we'll just have to find a better version next time.
[Meri continues laughing]
[gentle music playing]
[David] We live where there's a pickleball court.
Christine's like, "Let's go play."
She thinks she can beat me. It's on!
Hey, cheater! Behind the line.
-You have to serve from here? -[David] Uh-huh.
So pickleball is like this rage.
It's this rage. It's easier than tennis.
And it's not bad. It's OK.
I've really honestly never played it before.
I've tried so many different sports, and I'm terrible at
all of them. All sports.
You have sunglasses, you cheater!
How is wearing sunglasses cheating, knowing the elements?
That's not cheating. That's preparing for battle.
[competitive music playing]
[Christine] Out.
-So that was one point for you. -[David] One to me.
You know why you're not good at this game?
-[Christine] Why? -'Cause you can't cheat.
Oh, my God. You know what, else [bleep].
I love to trash talk.
Four.
Do you have a hole in that paddle?
Check it.
[Christine] Do you have a hole in your mouth?
It gets in their head. Then they can't win.
So if I'm cheating that way, hey, that's part of the game.
No, I swear. David, God!
I hate sports.
David can aim.
-[David groans] -I smashed it in the left.
You're getting it now.
-[David] Go get it. -You get it.
He can aim where he hits the ball.
And he is hitting it out there on purpose because he likes
to just get me worn out. That's his tactic.
Who's the cheater now?
Oh, that was out.
-[David] No, that was in. -Damn it to hell!
David, can you go that way? Can you aim that way?
Hey, I just know how to angle the ball right through
that door opening there to let her go chase them.
Let's do the pump chest. Ready?
-That hurts. -[David groans]
David won.
No one is surprised.
He's never played pickleball either, so I thought that
it would be less of a big, huge gap between the winner
and the loser.
Good job, babe. That was awesome.
[Christine giggles]
So Kody reached out to me and wants to have,
like, a conversation, like olive branch,
benevolence was in there.
I was completely shocked when Kody reached out.
It came out of absolutely nowhere.
Janelle told me that Kody reached out to her.
I'm like, "Well, you know, how are you feeling about that"?
And she's like, "Well, I just know, I don't know why."
You know, I don't know what the agenda is,
But apparently there's like an olive branch or something.
And I'm like, "I don't know." But she didn't know.
It just came out of nowhere for her as well.
I feel like I had so much anxiety today, just so much
anxiety today. -Why?
I don't wanna have...
I just feel so hypocritical, but I don't wanna talk
to Kody ever again. I just don't want to.
David, I don't want to.
But why? Why?
Because it was brain damage for so many years.
When Kody first reached out, I was like, "No.
No, I'm not gonna go. That's ridiculous."
I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.
Why would I put myself in that situation?
No.
Like, the last conversation that we had together.
Last several conversations we've had haven't been great.
Man, just the knife in the kidneys
over all these years.
Like, every single time, they just turn around
and bite me in the butt. Why?
Why?
You gotta realize that people do change.
Even though we don't ever think they will, they will.
Where's the proof of the last time that I heard him talking
about me, who was mean?
I need to know what the motive is, which is so sad to admit.
But before I agree to have a conversation with Kody, why?
I think the meanest thing that I did
was I said, "I didn't love you."
That wasn't true.
We used to be lovers.
And we used to really like being around each other.
[soft music playing]
I wanted to fly out here and meet with you.
Basically, I just wanted to come and say
that I apologize.
Wow. All right.
[Kody] Yeah. Um.
Oh, I have a list.
-OK. -[Kody] I'd just love to apologize for...
the first thing is I wanna kinda go backwards.
I wanna apologize for...
just being so angry and so bitter
over the family breakup.
And just nobody deserved to have me be that angry.
Wow, thanks.
Yeah, I kept thinking, "I don't know who this guy is."
I used to always tell everybody, I'm like, "This is not
the guy that I was married to forever."
Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, so...
[Kody] Yeah, I...
You weren't the only one saying that.
The person I would see speaking all these things
publicly, I'm like, "I don't know who that guy is."
I still don't recognize him.
It's like, again, like, somebody I've seen
that I used to know a long time ago.
Lots of pieces that I recognize,
lots of common things that we can remember together,
but I don't recognize him.
He lives a completely different life, it feels like now.
So do I.
I didn't -- I never saw this coming
in a million years, right?
Like, when the family fell apart, I was really --
I mourned more the loss of the ideal of what
we were trying to do, right? -I understand that.
Like, I just, we had that ideal,
like, when we all got together,
and we were gonna raise the kids, and thank goodness
the kids are all still pretty much they're siblings,
really, you know?
And that was one of the biggest things that we did accomplish.
We had this idea, this whole ideal, right,
of how it was gonna be.
Like, I think when I finally left Kody, I thought
about the family so much more than our relationship
for many, many, many years.
I think he and I especially really held that ideal
of the family, like this family unit thing that would work out.
And I think maybe I lost track of our relationship and
it might have been detrimental, really.
I probably should have been focused a little bit more
on our relationship and not so much the family.
Well, aren't you glad that I was angry?
-Let me tell you why, OK? -Well.
It's a compliment to you.
If I'd have been apathetic,
it would've meant you weren't important.
Yeah.
And my anger and my bitterness
and my, "I didn't ever love her,"
that was all from attachment.
Yeah.
We used to be lovers.
And we used to really like, I think we liked,
being around each other.
And I'm in a space now with this apology
where I'm not looking back at my past
and going, "I wanna burn that to the ground."
Instead, I'm looking back at my past like,
"That was really cool.
We were part of something special."
I think the meanest thing that I did
was I said, "I didn't love you."
That wasn't true.
That was a lie from the perspective of pain.
I knew. I knew it.
I knew that you loved me. I did.
Like, I know that we had a great relationship.
And I didn't understand.
Like, I was like, "OK, whatever."
But I knew it. I knew.
-Thanks for making that easy. -[both laugh softly]
I knew.
And I -- it was fine. Like, I knew.
'Cause I knew how it was for all those years.
-You know what I mean? -Yeah.
But I knew that we... I knew that you loved me.
-[Kody] Yeah. -So...
Yeah, just because I've not had any kind of real emotional
connection with him like this for a long time,
I'm like, "where is this going"? I don't know.
Do you know what I mean?
At one point, I thought, "Wow, you're really bringing it on heavy..."
I'm like, "If you're gonna ask for some
sort of reconciliation," I kept thinking,
I -- it wouldn't have made any sense,
but he was just being so intense and so like
trying to connect with me emotionally.
And I'm like, I just didn't know why.
Like I didn't -- I just couldn't think of any reason why.
-Return to the family? -[director] To the family.
Uh...
I mean, like, what really?
I would be very surprised.
I don't wanna even answer this because I'm just like --
-[director] OK. -It -- yeah.
♪♪
So making me sad right now.
No, because you like just opened this little portal
of hope and I'm just like... I didn't even think of that,
and now I'm just like, "What if"?
And I'm going down that road. I can't -- I can't.
Just, I gotta move away from that 'cause
I'll just, I'll fall apart and I can't be on this set.
OK, OK, I just...
Hope is dangerous sometimes.
[gentle music playing]
This is the new office, and I like it.
Amber and I have something we need to discuss with Jenn.
It's going to be very uncomfortable for Jenn,
but sometimes that's what friends do,
is make friends uncomfortable.
Hi.
-How you doing? -[Jenn] Hi.
I'm great.
-[Meri] Good. -How are you guys?
-Better than you. -Shipper.
-We're peachy. -"Better than you."
So Jenn's husband has been fighting cancer
for a couple of years.
But this year, it's been definitely more
intense because he's gotten into, like, all the radiation
and all the surgeries.
And now he's moving into another treatment that's gonna
help the recovery of his leg.
And, you know, so there's a lot that has been going on.
So we wanted to give you an update, though, of what
we're going to do for the fundraiser.
[Amber] We have a plan.
We are so excited about this, Jenn.
Thank you, guys.
Amber and I have decided that
we are going to do a fundraiser for her,
and that kind of thing makes Jenn very uncomfortable.
Accepting help and being in a place where she needs help,
she doesn't feel like she needs it, but, you know,
this is what we can do.
You know, we can't do anything about the cancer,
but we can help alleviate the financial burden.
So we'll do a bike ride.
We'll just do a loop around town.
-OK. -But we are putting out there
that people can rent bikes
from your shop. -OK.
So that's another way they can support you, is...
-OK. -...they come and rent
bikes and stuff.
Hopefully that will bring people to your shop.
-They can see what you guys offer there too. -Love that.
So that'll be good.
And then we'll do a breakfast out here.
-[Jenn] OK. -On the front lawn.
[soft, hopeful music playing]
As we've been planning this event, you know,
I've been telling people about it.
I texted all my sisters, told them about it.
I also mentioned it to Ron, and he's gonna be coming down
for it, so.
-Hello. -[Meri laughs]
-So, how's it going? -[Meri] Good.
-Yeah? -Good so far.
-Have you done this before? -Never in my life.
I met Ron months ago at the speed dating event.
So ever since then, he and I have just stayed in touch.
We've hung out, we've...
just become friends, and we're just having fun
getting to know each other.
This will actually be the first time that Ron is in Parowan
to see me and in my space,
and I'm kind of excited about it.
It'll be kind of cool.
You OK with this?
You know, like, you are so loved.
I [bleep] hate this for you.
Thank you. Sorry.
[Meri] Your glasses, they're in the way.
She's very uncomfortable with it.
She doesn't love this. You know what?
Maybe the lesson that you're gonna take out of this, Jenn,
is to accept support. You give it all the time.
Now it's your turn to learn how to accept it.
[melancholic music playing]
OK, so I've been a bastard for about three years about
this whole breakup, four years, all right?
There's some mistakes I made in plural marriage specifically.
I don't know that she was expecting...
I didn't tell her I was coming to apologize.
What I offered her was an olive branch, and that was it.
And so, "Well, an olive branch, well, that's a symbol of peace.
Let's see what he's got," you know?
When you and I got married, I remember
this affection that we shared.
Oof, and this really made me question plural marriage
pretty hard.
I wish I would have seen the need for you and I
to protect our special place.
If I would have understood that,
I think it would have been a lot safer for you.
I feel like I put you in harm's way and that it didn't step up
to protect you.
Wow. Thank you.
I, yeah.
When Janelle and I got married, I didn't feel like
we had a lot of room, space with each other.
We didn't know each other that well when we got married.
We weren't good communicators, but we started out
with a tenderness.
We started out with a sweetness.
And for that, and the fact that I didn't protect, like...
We didn't know. We didn't have no idea.
There was no book or anybody advising us.
[Kody] No, there wasn't.
But my mistake in just not being brave enough, man enough,
strong enough, 'cause I know you didn't feel safe in that
space and you were probably
thinking to yourself a lot, "I made a huge mistake
marrying this guy."
There were some things that happened through the years
that I kind of, well, there were things that happened, especially
that first year or two, that I kinda wish he would have...
stood up for me as much as he maybe
um...
By default sort of took the other position, you know.
Meri and I have very different personalities.
We just clash.
Like, I don't -- we would never be friends, right?
I never would. We just are so very different.
So add that to the fact that there was a lot of...
Of jealousy and insecurity and stuff
that we were working through.
And it just was not, it was not good.
I have an experience...
Um.
Where I was going off to the mountain to log
and you were sobbing and you were saying, "Do you love me?
Do you love me? Do you love me?"
I just didn't realize that you weren't feeling safe.
I've thought about that scene in my mind, that scenario where
you were there, and I just felt ashamed because you deserved
to feel safe in that relationship, and I failed that.
So I was pregnant with Logan, and he was on the road.
He was a route sales guy.
And so his time at home was very, like, there was
a lot of... his time at home was limited.
And I think he was trying so hard to, like, be a family that
I think we sort of, again, lost track of who we were
as just a couple.
Yeah, I mean, I was obviously the first plural wife,
so there's a lot that comes with that.
And I think over the years, I just sort of learned
to just keep the peace.
And I lost a lot of my identity, like I did.
I think I had to sort of emotionally close down
to survive in those early years.
And I think we just never got that back.
So there's been some healing for me for him to say
those things about those early years, which were really,
really, really not pretty.
The...
well, I think the experience was much harder
than you thought it was going to be.
Yeah, I think I went in pretty idealistic.
Yeah, and if I, once again, if I would have protected you,
if I would have made you safe in that space, if you would
have felt like I had your back.
Yeah, yeah. Our relationship --
Yeah, we might have not.
[Kody] It would have made a lot of difference.
I have struggled as much as we did in those early years,
you know what I mean?
And I always, and that's an ache in my heart
that I have felt four or five years.
[Janelle] We always had a really good relationship as far as,
like, being able to talk to each other.
I think we still do care for each other.
I mean, like, how can you not?
I spent so many years married to him.
I just think there is always a level of connection when
you spend that much time married.
♪♪
If Kody started to be mean or aggressive towards me
or anything like that, David, oh my God,
he'd become unglued.
[David] He wants to have a relationship.
I just don't think he knows quite how to.
If you don't start having a relationship with your kids
now, down the road, when you need them,
they're not gonna be there.
[gentle music playing]
Do you think Kody wants to meet up to talk crap on you?
No, he said that he wants to extend an olive branch.
I just don't trust that. I just don't trust him.
No, I haven't told Kody whether or not I'm gonna meet up
with him at all. I'm not 100% going yet.
So why? Why would I do that?
I'm not gonna trust anything that comes out of his mouth so.
He's just gonna be mean. He's just mean.
It's years of him being mean and putting me down and making
me feel less than.
You know, I'm nauseous.
I'm already nauseous thinking about it.
My stomach's already upset thinking about it.
But you have done so much in your life in the last,
what, three years? -Mm-hmm.
-Like where you're at now. -Yes, yes.
You're a very independent woman.
-[Christine] Yes. -I've seen it in you.
I watch what you can do.
And things will be better, because it's you and I there.
-OK. -And it will be fine.
I promise you.
David's always been pushing for more communication.
And he's like, "What do you want more than anything"?
I'm like, "Aw, for my kids to have
a better relationship with their dad."
And he goes, "OK, then you have to show them how to have a good
relationship with him."
See, he's right with this too. It just sucks.
You didn't marry him because he was a terrible guy.
No, he was great. He was a great guy.
But times change, and things change.
People change.
And people start going separate ways.
Yeah.
Everybody wants to keep living in the past.
-No. -And the past will never make
you go to the future.
So I need to think about it. This isn't an olive branch.
-This is a peace talk. -[David] That's a peace talk.
This is not an olive branch from him.
Let's just have it be a peace talk.
Let's just move on.
It doesn't matter. Things were said.
-[David] Yeah. -They're just gonna move on,
and what can we do to make this better for our kids?
And for us to be in the same room, too, because if we're
gonna all do family reunions like I wanted and get together
like I wanted, this needs to happen.
But I'm not gonna be in that mosh pit, OK?
Kody could be in that mosh pit.
You don't wanna be in the dancing mosh pit?
No. I'll just tackle people.
-[Christine] OK. -[David laughs]
[Christine] OK.
That sounds good.
I've decided to leave. I'm gonna leave Kody.
When I first was leaving Kody, I remember, like, there was
a couple of conversations where I'd be like, "Look, I'm sure
"that we could all get together at some point,
"you know, and have a family reunion, you know, once a year
or something like that." And everyone kind of looked
at me like I was a fool.
But getting the kids together would be an awesome thing.
I don't need to see the adults.
But the kids need to get together for sure.
If you wanna have a reunion family, and I'm all for it,
I have zero, I'm not jealous, I'm not insecure about them all
having to get together, 'cause my main focus on is
the kids having a good relationship with everybody.
If you don't start having a relationship
with your kids now,
down the road when you need them,
they're not gonna be there.
I tell you, don't let people walk all over you.
-[Christine] No, I won't. -[David] So there you go.
[Christine] I won't.
No, it's not gonna be like it was before.
I mean, I wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't put up with it.
And David, oh, my God, he'd become unglued.
If Kody started to be mean or aggressive towards me
or anything like that, no. No, God, David, no,
he wouldn't allow that. But I wouldn't either.
[David] He wants to have a relationship.
I just don't think he knows quite how to.
No, I don't need to talk about anything with Kody.
I would love to see him have
a better relationship with his kids.
If he's extending an olive branch here, we'll really then
have a better relationship with my kids, you know?
Put them first.
-I love you. -[David] Love you too.
[Christine sniffs] Thank you.
[gentle music playing]
[Kody] Do you ever feel like our breakup was
just inevitable?
By the time it happened, I didn't see
that we were ever gonna turn around.
OK.
But, you know, I mean, I was really ready to move on.
So Kody and I, as any relationship does,
has had, like, the ups and downs,
and some of our lows were pretty low,
and we always managed to come back.
-You stay and talk. -[Kody] I'm done listening to you.
-You stay and talk. -Uh, no.
I'm not going to, because you're not listening.
-You're not listening to me. -And I'm not going to.
-OK, so we're done? -Goodbye.
[bleep] you.
The last time, I didn't want to reconcile.
I didn't have any desire. The kids were definitely older.
I didn't need the family's financial support as much.
Like, it just, there wasn't a lot of reasons
to work through it.
I feel like we've needed an olive branch,
the entire family.
And Janelle, you get the high honor of being the person
I felt the safest with to start offering that olive branch.
Oh, we had a good, we had a great.
Like, I -- Like, I --
I'm -- I'm grateful for what we had.
-[Kody] Yeah. -I really am.
-Thank you. -[Janelle] Yeah.
Thank you for being cool about this.
-I'm glad you came. -[Kody] Make it easy.
Like, it was a great relationship.
I still care about him, and I think he still cares
about me, but I don't.
He's not in my life, and I'm not gonna be
in his life, and... there's nothing there now.
I wish he had a better relationship with the children,
because then, you know, then there would be a little
bit more cohesion for the family, but I don't know.
That's not, that's a long ways away, I suspect.
I was thinking, though, um...
Garrison can qualify, I think, for a military headstone,
and I think he would love that,
'cause the military was a big part of his, like,
what he loved, right? -OK, yeah, he'd liked 'em.
So it's a matter of filing paperwork?
[Janelle] Yeah, and I've got half of it done.
I mean, I guess if you wanted to come up and meet me there,
we could do that.
So would it just be you and I going there
to place the headstone? -I'm OK.
It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Yeah, let's do it. We'll both go up there.
[Janelle] OK. I mean, that's fine.
Like, we can just meet there or something.
-You know what I mean? -[Kody] Yeah.
All right.
Um, you know, I didn't know what to expect coming.
I'm grateful for the experience,
and I'm grateful he came.
It's been healing to hear some of those things.
That's a great idea. Thanks for meeting with me.
I really appreciate it.
I think it went very well. Janelle was very gracious.
She was very kind. I felt like she made it easy
to do this apology.
Like, this is a pilgrimage, and I have planned it
for so long, and I've needed this for four years.
Boy, there's a lot of pressure. It's windy.
The door wasn't easy to open. So...
All right. Anyway, thank you.
Thanks for meeting with me. I really appreciate it.
-We'll see you. -[Janelle] All right.
See you later. All right.
Yeah, I've got two more wives to visit with.
I get a little bit nervous thinking that it could go
really, really wrong.
This is my journey.
This is something I am required to do.
My hope is for them to receive it well.
And if they don't, then...
we'll go back to God and say, "What next?
Do I do it again"?
I don't know.
[melancholic music playing]
[Kody] Next time on "Sister Wives,"
Is there any part of you that would ever go back to Kody?
I think at some point I thought, what if he, like,
what if we worked this out?
[Meri] This is the first time that Ron's been down here to Parowan
and meeting all my friends. How is he going to act?
It's weird 'cause we haven't really had a conversation
since I left. Not really.
Kody reached out to me and wanted to chat.
I apologize. Here's the huge one,
for saying I didn't love you.