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{\an8}[Kody Brown] Previously
on Sister Wives ...
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Hey! You have a new house.
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One thing I will say
about Christine,
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no matter what she thinks
she's gonna always try
to make you feel better
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about whatever's going on.
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[Christine] Oh, this is great.
It's big.
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[Kody] Janelle has
a tiny little house.
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Why am I gonna sit here
and suffer with you
with your choices.
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-[applause]
-[Kody] Dearly beloved,
let me introduce to you,
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-Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell.
-[cheering]
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-Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell.
-[cheering]
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[Kody] I am the high priest
of my own family,
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but I'm also a failed priest.
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I got a wife leaving me.
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I don't know what to do
about my house.
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Selling it now, you know,
would make it so you could...
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We could pay off Coyote Pass,
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and then Janelle could
actually build on it.
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So, if I did sell,
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the family needs
the money right now
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for the property.
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If I'm going to sell my house,
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I'm not going to put
that money into Coyote Pass.
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{\an8}[rain pouring]
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[thunder rumbling]
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[Kody] Christine's
been hassling me for months
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to get all my stuff
out of her garage.
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I'm busy. I've got work to do.
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{\an8}And now she's put
this big thing on my plate.
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{\an8}I don't know what to do.
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[Christine] If I had not boxed
Kody's stuff up
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out of my bedroom
and moved it to the garage,
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out of my bedroom
and moved it to the garage,
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he would have
never gotten to it.
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[Kody] I don't actually have
a space of my own.
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I don't have
a place to put this.
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I don't have a corner.
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I don't have anything.
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Kody had to duplicate
everything that he had
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'cause he had all of his stuff
spread into four houses
when we were in Vegas.
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It's just a polygamy thing
I guess.
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I found myself looking
in four closets
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I found myself looking
in four closets
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for a shirt sometimes.
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[Christine] Well, he doesn't
have stuff at Meri's house.
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He hasn't for years.
He hasn't stayed
there for years.
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He can't have stuff
at Janelle's house
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'cause she lives
in a little tiny trailer.
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So, he has quadruple
what he needs
at Robyn's house.
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[Christine]
I'm working on this.
This is stuff that goes.
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So, what I'm doing
right now is...
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-Thank you for...
-So, you don't want
none of this stuff?
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-Your...
-That's not mine.
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Yeah. Well, you don't want
the shop vac.
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-I bought a shop vac
for each house.
-I would love that shop vac.
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[Kody] I have
an emotional attachment
to this house. Yes, I do.
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[Kody] I have
an emotional attachment
to this house. Yes, I do.
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Listen, I have
an emotional attachment
to Christine!
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My goal is to get rid
of as much stuff as possible
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and move with less stuff.
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That's why I want you
to take that table so bad.
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-Okay.
-I don't wanna move
a lot of stuff.
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I assume that what we're doing
is we're splitting
all of our assets,
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the house, the land,
the everything we've got
50-50,
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which is funny
'cause she's already sold off
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some of the stuff
that was ours.
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-So, my name's on the property
and I also have this house.
-Yeah.
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So, to split 50-50,
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how about if we just cut it
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how about if we just cut it
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and I keep everything
from the house
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and the family keeps
everything from the property.
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I don't need anything
from the property.
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-You're ready
to sell this place.
-Yes.
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Right now my name is
the only name on this house.
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A lot of polygamist women
don't have assets
in their name.
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Like, if we only had
the property
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and I didn't have this house,
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I would have nothing
in my name.
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In plural marriage there's
a tendency for the wives
to own the assets
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because if Dad goes to jail
for a cohabitation,
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they're gonna take
all the property.
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they're gonna take
all the property.
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Christine's walking away
with her money
from this house.
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In this deal she'll be able
to buy another house.
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Janelle can't do anything
on Coyote Pass
until we pay it off.
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If you split everything 50-50,
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that means I get 50%
of everything that he has,
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all of his property.
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That means his
and Robyn's house, too.
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If he wants to go
down that route
and split it that way,
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that doesn't make any sense.
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Let's just make
it clean and easy.
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I get the house.
[clicks tongue]
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I get the house.
[clicks tongue]
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You can have the property.
[clicks tongue]
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And it's just...
It's easier.
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Christine and I are
only sharing our,
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mine and Christine's,
shared assets 50-50.
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She doesn't have any access
to the rest of the wives,
their assets,
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or even my assets
that are shared
with the rest of the wives.
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Now, are you talking
to a realtor?
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Yes. She says
this is gonna sell so fast.
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-Really?
-There's only two other places
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in this whole valley right now
that are available.
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-Maybe it's just time
to do that.
-Is it?
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Um...
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Okay. All right.
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-[Christine] It works, right?
-That sounds like a good deal.
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-[Christine] Don't you think
it's... Ohh!
-That'll work nice and clean.
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-Here's the thing...
-Kody, wait. Can I just tell
you how thrilled I am
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that you've agreed because
I have been praying so hard
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about this one thing
right here.
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It has been keeping
me up at night
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because I just...
To me it made so much sense.
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[Kody] I agreed to it.
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We're done.
We're moving forward.
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It's not the most
fair scenario.
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The problem is
Coyote Pass isn't paid off.
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The problem is
Coyote Pass isn't paid off.
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So, she's walking away
with the money
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we would have paid off
Coyote Pass with.
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She's got that.
She's given us her lot,
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but we still have
to pay off Coyote Pass.
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{\an8}I think it's fair
that Christine is taking
her equity.
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{\an8}We gave family money
to Christine.
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{\an8}We gave family money
to Robyn to buy her house.
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About the same amount
to both of them.
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And honestly, the equity stake
that Christine has
in our property,
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the Coyote Pass property,
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is about equal to what
the equity is in her home.
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is about equal to what
the equity is in her home.
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This is easy. This is
a really clean transaction.
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Okay. So... [sighs]
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All right. What are you doing
with all the bedroom stuff?
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I just need a new bedroom set.
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[Kody] I'm sitting here just
in this weird place of...
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It's not really truly denial.
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It's that I...
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That everything that was
special, the house,
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the kids, the furniture,
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everything is just, like,
this is not mine.
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It's just a shock to me.
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It's just a shock to me.
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The whole experience,
the memories.
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Every bit of this.
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Now that she wants
to put the house
on the market that's...
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I guess I just better
get used to this
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because this
is the way that it is.
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-[Kody] Okay.
-[Christine] Okay, thanks.
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-All right. See ya.
-Okay. See ya.
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[Christine]
I've just involved Kody
in the decision
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and asked his opinion,
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but in the end, what I choose
to do with this house
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is just up to me.
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is just up to me.
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My name's the only name
on this house.
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Our family, the whole family,
helped Christine buy
the property, her house.
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Okay. And she came into buying
Coyote Pass with us
as an agreement.
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Coyote Pass isn't paid off,
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but she's walking away
with the equity
from her house.
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That equity technically
would be partly the family's.
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It's just one of those
convoluted things that,
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you know, when we're mixing
our assets and stuff like that
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and then we break up,
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it's a struggle to actually
separate everything.
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But it's not cut and dried.
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But it's not cut and dried.
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Our marriage didn't work.
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I'm moving on and I'm moving.
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[Janelle] I have been
in the RV full-time
for a month.
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The trailer was
a rude awakening.
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The trailer was
a rude awakening.
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Taking care
of your basic necessities is
a lot more work
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than when I live
in town somewhere,
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but I love being out here.
I love it.
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I wake up in the morning.
There's the mountain.
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Like, I love being out here.
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[Kody] Living in a trailer is
an absolute inconvenience.
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I think it might be
fun for Janelle.
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It's, like, every day
she's dealing
with one new problem.
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It's, like, every day
she's dealing
with one new problem.
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Hi.
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So, I got...
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This is the hose for the water
and it's a whatever...
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-potable water-safe.
-Okay.
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We're trying to figure out
an easier way
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to get the water
from the jug to the tank.
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See, I can't...
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-I can't get...
-Okay. Well, that's fine. I'm
just trying to get water in
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to replenish what we've used.
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I have to haul eight of these
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in order to fill
my water tank.
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And the water tank lasts
us about a day and half
if we're conservative.
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And the water tank lasts
us about a day and half
if we're conservative.
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Can you take my garbage
to the road today?
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'Cause I... It's gonna rain
and I don't wanna
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-walk it all the way up there.
-Oh, shoot.
My truck's all full.
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00:09:39,066 --> 00:09:41,066
Oh. All right. Well,
I'll just walk it up there.
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00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:44,367
-I... [sighs]
-It's fine.
I'll just walk it up.
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She really loves
the idea of being here.
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'Cause it's been nice to sit
out here on a cool night.
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The view is just gorgeous.
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I think that she's doing
really well
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because she's handling
it well,
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but I think
it's been overwhelming.
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00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,000
but I think
it's been overwhelming.
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00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:04,900
Because it's been a challenge
there's just no chance
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00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,667
I'm gonna sit here and say,
"I told you so."
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00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:09,367
Or gloat. I'm not gonna gloat
in any of that.
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00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,100
It's more like it's sad.
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00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:18,500
[Janelle] This adjustment is
huge and it's harder for me
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00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:21,767
because Savanah is struggling.
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00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:24,166
I wanna keep that
for, like, our clothes
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00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,767
and our food
and stuff that we need.
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00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:27,767
[Janelle] I'm not sure
this is sustainable
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00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:30,000
unless I can really bring
this to some sort of even keel
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00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,300
unless I can really bring
this to some sort of even keel
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00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,000
because she's miserable.
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00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,467
She's still on board.
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00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,266
She wants to get
the house built,
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00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:36,467
so she's here.
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00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,266
Like, but I know
that it's been rough on her.
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{\an8}There's so much investment
here in this family.
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00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,900
{\an8}Hang on with me, okay?
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00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,600
{\an8}I am.
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00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:58,200
{\an8}I would never do anything
to this family to hurt it.
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00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,000
{\an8}I wish that people
could see that.
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00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,467
{\an8}I wish that people
could see that.
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00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,300
[Robyn] Christine talked
to us a little while ago
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00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:15,667
{\an8}about, you know, her decision
to for sure leave Kody.
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00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:18,967
I have decided to leave.
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00:11:18,967 --> 00:11:20,333
I'm gonna leave Kody.
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00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:23,667
[Janelle] Even though I knew
intellectually it was coming,
235
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,200
it was still hard.
236
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:30,400
[Meri] Why are you doing this?
237
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:30,893
You know, how are you breaking
up our family?
238
00:11:30,893 --> 00:11:31,000
You know, how are you breaking
up our family?
239
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:37,667
[Christine] You always hear
how kids feel when
their parents get divorced,
240
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:40,800
but you don't very often hear
how a sister wife feels.
241
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,867
{\an8}The kids can't control
their parents
getting divorced,
242
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,867
{\an8}and sister wives
really can't control
243
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:47,600
when a sister wife leaves
either. Not really.
244
00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:06,166
Hi! How's it going?
245
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:07,467
Good. How are you?
246
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,367
Uh, I'm okay.
247
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:12,467
There's this heavy weight
between us
248
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:15,700
because we know
that our family is
249
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,800
just getting messed with
like crazy.
250
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,300
[sighs]
251
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:20,867
How's it going?
252
00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:22,100
Um... [sighs]
253
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:24,767
It's...
254
00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:27,066
-It's weird.
-Mmm-hmm.
255
00:12:27,066 --> 00:12:29,066
-It's weird.
-[Meri] Mmm-hmm.
256
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:32,967
[Robyn] You didn't say
a whole lot.
257
00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:36,467
-Did I read you right
when we were with Christine?
-Oh, yeah.
258
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:39,967
I'm just real frustrated.
259
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:44,367
I didn't trust myself
to say anything
to be honest with you.
260
00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:47,367
It's her relationship
with him.
261
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,166
-[Meri] And so I feel like...
-Yeah, but, like
it affects us though.
262
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,367
It does.
It totally affects us.
263
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:55,000
But, like,
it's more about him.
264
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,266
We have a relationship
with her, too.
265
00:12:58,166 --> 00:12:59,767
Supposedly it
doesn't affect us
266
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:00,893
because we're not a part
of their relationship,
267
00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:01,000
because we're not a part
of their relationship,
268
00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:03,567
but that's bull crap.
269
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,266
It's so crazy
to just sit there
270
00:13:06,266 --> 00:13:10,667
and watch this big bomb
going off in my family.
271
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:14,000
[Janelle] I'm not really sure
we have a family anymore.
272
00:13:14,066 --> 00:13:16,400
{\an8}It just seems like
it's this big change of venue,
273
00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:18,000
{\an8}and I don't know
what it looks like now.
274
00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:19,567
{\an8}We still have a family.
275
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:21,567
{\an8}I mean, it's still our family.
276
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,667
{\an8}Christine's just not in it.
277
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:28,467
[Meri] In our family,
Kody is married
to each of the wives.
278
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,893
The sister wives have
a sister wife relationship,
279
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:31,000
The sister wives have
a sister wife relationship,
280
00:13:32,066 --> 00:13:34,500
but not
a romantic relationship.
281
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:40,467
At first when he said,
you know, "She's
moving my stuff out."
282
00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:41,800
And I was like, "Well..."
283
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:43,567
"And she doesn't want
me in her room."
284
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:44,867
-Yeah.
-And I'm like,
285
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,000
"Then go sleep
in the living room
on the couch."
286
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,467
Why weren't
these two talking it out?
287
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:52,667
Stay on the couch.
Fight for her.
288
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,967
-[Meri] I'm really angry.
-[Robyn] Yeah.
289
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,400
I'm really angry.
290
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:00,767
Obviously you don't care
enough to fight for her.
291
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:00,893
Obviously you didn't care
enough to fight for me.
292
00:14:00,893 --> 00:14:01,000
Obviously you didn't care
enough to fight for me.
293
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,867
And I don't understand that.
294
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,767
I'm feeling betrayed.
295
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,767
I can't imagine
what Kody's feeling.
296
00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:15,100
He's a mess.
297
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:20,467
Kody is now questioning
me left and right
298
00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:23,667
about things that I thought
he knew about me.
299
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:27,567
Like, he's struggling to trust
everybody around him.
300
00:14:32,066 --> 00:14:34,500
Yes, you're going through
a divorce with Christine,
301
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:38,266
but you have marriages
that you have to maintain.
302
00:14:38,266 --> 00:14:40,166
He still has us.
303
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:42,300
And he still has
marriages with us.
304
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:45,367
And he still has to fix them
and figure them out
305
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,000
and get over his anger enough
306
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,567
to actually
interact appropriately
307
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,767
or he's going to ruin
every single one of them.
308
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,100
I'm going through a divorce.
309
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,000
Just give me a little time
to be sad and angry
310
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,567
and go through this process.
311
00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:59,467
I'll get over it I think.
312
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:06,467
It just makes me think
was it just all a lie
all those years?
313
00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:09,467
She's always said how much
she wanted the sister wives.
314
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:10,867
When I married Kody,
315
00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:14,667
it wasn't just because
I loved him.
316
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:19,367
I felt like that I had
a confirmation from God
317
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:23,100
that I was supposed
to be married to Kody.
318
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,900
And I still feel like that.
319
00:15:27,066 --> 00:15:29,600
[Robyn] She had to be
open to the idea of
320
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,893
that Kody can love
other women.
321
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:31,000
that Kody can love
other women.
322
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,567
That's not an easy
thought process.
323
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,800
Why'd she come in the family
if she's gonna do this after.
324
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:40,700
And she didn't even talk
to me about it.
325
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:44,667
I agreed to be a sister wife,
326
00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:47,066
but I agreed to be
an equal wife.
327
00:15:47,066 --> 00:15:48,867
-[child exclaiming]
-Oh!
328
00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:52,166
[Meri] I felt like
that Christine was
more than a sister wife.
329
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:55,066
I felt like that she was
a friend for a lot of years.
330
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,266
[Christine cooing]
331
00:15:57,266 --> 00:16:00,893
[Meri] We believe that this is
the family structure
332
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:01,000
[Meri] We believe that this is
the family structure
333
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,000
that is for us.
334
00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:06,266
And then now just
all of a sudden
335
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,000
everybody's just
changing their mind
336
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:09,867
because it was hard.
337
00:16:09,867 --> 00:16:11,400
She was an equal.
338
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,467
She just wanted to be
more than equal.
339
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:16,066
She wanted to be loved
without giving love.
340
00:16:16,867 --> 00:16:19,266
I'm taking it really personal.
341
00:16:19,266 --> 00:16:23,100
I'm not gonna cry about it
'cause I'm pissed off.
342
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:27,166
There's so much investment
here in this family.
343
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:30,367
You don't just let that go.
344
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:30,893
Regardless of the work
that you've done,
345
00:16:30,893 --> 00:16:31,000
Regardless of the work
that you've done,
346
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,266
the sacrifices you've made,
347
00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:38,400
why would you say,
"Well, you have to stay
even though you're unhappy."
348
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:44,266
I just don't want to admit
or even accept the idea
349
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:48,767
that it's whatever we had
as a family is gone.
350
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,000
They don't have a choice.
351
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,166
This is a big change.
352
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:56,200
The family as we know it
no longer exists.
353
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,100
When she was talking,
it was like released.
354
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,893
Like, she had released
the relationship.
355
00:17:00,893 --> 00:17:01,000
Like, she had released
the relationship.
356
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,166
-I could see it.
I could feel it on her.
-Really?
357
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:07,467
Oh, yeah. I recognize it.
358
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,567
-[Meri] You've been there.
-Yeah.
359
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,800
It's just so familiar.
360
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,567
And I've seen Kody give up
on me and him.
361
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,000
I didn't give up on Meri.
362
00:17:26,066 --> 00:17:30,066
It just turned out
the relationship was
essentially unstable.
363
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:30,893
I just didn't feel like
it was tenable.
364
00:17:30,893 --> 00:17:31,000
I just didn't feel like
it was tenable.
365
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:34,000
It's not a functional
relationship.
366
00:17:34,066 --> 00:17:37,367
We can get along,
but we can't be together.
367
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:40,767
People have asked me.
People are always asking me.
368
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,900
Like, "Why do you stay?
You don't have
a relationship with him."
369
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,667
And I...
370
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,467
think on it and I pray on it
and I meditate on it
371
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:58,300
and I always come
to a peace with it.
372
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,893
I'm just grateful
that you're sticking it out.
373
00:18:00,893 --> 00:18:01,000
I'm just grateful
that you're sticking it out.
374
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,367
She belongs with us.
375
00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:10,400
Hang on with me, okay?
376
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:12,567
I am.
377
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,500
We have to rebuild.
378
00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:17,567
We have to rebuild.
379
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,667
Right?
380
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,667
Yeah, I know. We do.
381
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,667
Just hang on with me, okay?
382
00:18:30,066 --> 00:18:30,893
I really wanted
to live plural marriage
383
00:18:30,893 --> 00:18:31,000
I really wanted
to live plural marriage
384
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:38,000
and give that big picture
of the whole family
to my kids.
385
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,000
Ari's five years old.
386
00:18:42,066 --> 00:18:44,100
They're not even gonna get
to experience it.
387
00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:51,000
I want that for my kids,
but I also...
388
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:04,467
But I want it for me, too.
389
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,467
I had other choices. [sobs]
390
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:12,667
This is what I wanted.
391
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:13,867
I just...
392
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:18,166
have to watch as they destroy
what I've wanted.
393
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,600
I just can't let it go.
394
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,266
{\an8}Truth be told, Meri,
395
00:19:33,266 --> 00:19:36,767
{\an8}she was talking
about leaving Kody
before we moved to Flagstaff.
396
00:19:36,767 --> 00:19:39,100
{\an8}I've always wanted
her to be happy.
397
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,967
{\an8}I've always wanted
her to be happy.
398
00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:44,166
{\an8}[Meri] I will never say
399
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:47,500
{\an8}that the problem
within our family is
400
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:49,000
{\an8}plural marriage.
401
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,266
{\an8}[Robyn] I would
never do anything
402
00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:59,166
to this family to hurt it.
403
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:04,967
That's who I am.
That's what I feel.
404
00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:08,667
I just wish that people
could see that.
405
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:14,567
What I love about
what you're doing is
406
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:17,767
that you're not just making
it about what's going on
between you and him.
407
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:19,221
You're making it
about everybody else, too.
408
00:20:19,221 --> 00:20:20,000
You're making it
about everybody else, too.
409
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:25,567
As much as I would
be devastated,
410
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,800
I wouldn't blame Meri
if she got tired of hanging on
411
00:20:30,867 --> 00:20:32,667
and she decided to give up.
412
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,166
It's not just Kody
that she's leaving.
413
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:39,200
-No.
-No.
414
00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:41,100
I mean, we've only got
a few kids married
415
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,300
and we've got
a few grandbabies.
416
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,967
I mean, what happens
in the future I don't know.
417
00:20:45,967 --> 00:20:48,266
You know, when I came
in the family, I saw this,
418
00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:49,221
like, big group family
team experience.
419
00:20:49,221 --> 00:20:50,000
like, big group family
team experience.
420
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:57,200
I wanted to play a role,
an important role, in that.
421
00:20:57,266 --> 00:21:00,500
I was a single mom.
I had three kids, 10 on down.
422
00:21:01,266 --> 00:21:03,166
My divorce had
really shook me.
423
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,266
I kind of said to myself,
you know,
424
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,100
I don't really care
so much about
425
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,100
the romantic part
of a relationship.
426
00:21:12,166 --> 00:21:13,300
I cared about whether or not
427
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:14,967
he was a good husband,
a good man.
428
00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:17,867
I cared about what I was going
to give to my children.
429
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,221
Like, that was
my ultimate and biggest
most important thing.
430
00:21:19,221 --> 00:21:20,000
Like, that was
my ultimate and biggest
most important thing.
431
00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,667
[Meri] Kody used to say
to me all the time,
432
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,667
"Why do you have
these emotions?"
433
00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:29,400
"When you know that it's right
that they're in the family,
434
00:21:29,467 --> 00:21:30,600
why do you feel like this?"
435
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:33,300
-I'm like,
"Because I'm human."
-[Robyn] Yeah.
436
00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:36,166
[Meri] Jealousy I think is
a fact of life.
437
00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:40,266
The something
that I've learned
in more recent years is
438
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:42,667
that jealousy is
not a bad thing.
439
00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:47,166
It's just an emotion
and you just work
through the emotions.
440
00:21:47,166 --> 00:21:49,221
-[Meri] I'm learning
and growing.
-I'm always trying to give him
441
00:21:49,221 --> 00:21:49,567
-[Meri] I'm learning
and growing.
-I'm always trying to give him
442
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:50,000
the other perspective.
443
00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:53,066
It's, like, if someone else
was in my life
444
00:21:53,066 --> 00:21:54,700
that you were having
to share me with,
445
00:21:54,767 --> 00:21:56,467
you would be, like, a nutcase.
446
00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:59,000
-[chuckling] Yeah.
He doesn't like that.
-[Robyn] Yeah.
447
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,700
{\an8}If I were to be giving
attention to another guy,
448
00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:08,000
how would it make you feel?
449
00:22:08,066 --> 00:22:13,100
The vulgarity of the idea
of you with two husbands
450
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:17,166
or another lover sickens me.
451
00:22:17,166 --> 00:22:19,221
I've had this conversation
with Kody a lot of times.
452
00:22:19,221 --> 00:22:19,567
I've had this conversation
with Kody a lot of times.
453
00:22:19,567 --> 00:22:20,000
How would you feel
if the tables were turned?
454
00:22:21,567 --> 00:22:22,867
And he's like,
" I don't wanna..."
455
00:22:22,867 --> 00:22:25,066
I'm like, "I'm sorry,
but you need to think
about this."
456
00:22:25,066 --> 00:22:29,600
{\an8}I think that, yes,
if I didn't manage it right,
457
00:22:29,667 --> 00:22:33,367
{\an8}I could be a nutcase
if the roles were reversed
in plural marriage
458
00:22:33,367 --> 00:22:35,467
{\an8}and I had a brother husband.
459
00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:38,266
But I think she's
missing something.
460
00:22:38,266 --> 00:22:40,867
The way guys bond,
we'd be playing video games,
461
00:22:40,867 --> 00:22:42,266
high-fiving each other
462
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:45,767
and she would wish
that we were actually getting
some work done.
463
00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:48,000
"Oh, yeah. If it was
a bunch of brother husbands,
464
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,221
we'd be sitting
around on the couch
playing video games."
465
00:22:49,221 --> 00:22:50,000
we'd be sitting
around on the couch
playing video games."
466
00:22:50,467 --> 00:22:51,867
I don't believe him
467
00:22:51,867 --> 00:22:54,567
because whenever it comes to,
468
00:22:54,567 --> 00:22:57,600
like, guys
in his wives' lives,
469
00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:00,600
like my ex, he gets funny.
470
00:23:00,667 --> 00:23:04,000
I just... I think
it's gonna mess,
like, confuse and...
471
00:23:04,867 --> 00:23:06,500
confuse the kids like crazy.
472
00:23:06,567 --> 00:23:09,100
-It's gonna mess
with the kids.
-[Robyn] Yeah.
473
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,400
I mean, I asked her,
you know, that day
474
00:23:11,467 --> 00:23:13,166
and she's like,
"Oh, they're all for it."
475
00:23:15,266 --> 00:23:17,700
And I don't know
what that means.
476
00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:19,221
That means they're hearing
one side of the story.
477
00:23:19,221 --> 00:23:19,700
That means they're hearing
one side of the story.
478
00:23:19,767 --> 00:23:20,000
Yeah. I know that.
479
00:23:23,066 --> 00:23:25,367
Nobody has asked
me my side of the story.
480
00:23:25,367 --> 00:23:27,867
The only people that have
gotten my side of the story...
481
00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:29,266
Robyn and Meri.
482
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:32,166
And maybe Janelle.
483
00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:34,767
{\an8}To be honest, I don't know
484
00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:37,300
{\an8}out of the kids who knows
and who doesn't know
that I'm leaving Kody.
485
00:23:37,367 --> 00:23:39,800
I know who knows
out of my kids.
486
00:23:39,867 --> 00:23:43,867
But if they're so concerned
about why am I leaving
487
00:23:43,867 --> 00:23:46,100
and what about being
a sister wife,
488
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:48,800
why wouldn't they talk
to me personally?
489
00:23:48,867 --> 00:23:49,221
The only one who reached out
to me was Janelle.
490
00:23:49,221 --> 00:23:50,000
The only one who reached out
to me was Janelle.
491
00:23:52,567 --> 00:23:56,000
Do you think this was coming
before Flagstaff?
492
00:24:00,066 --> 00:24:01,567
Truth be told, Meri...
493
00:24:04,367 --> 00:24:06,000
She was talking
about leaving Kody
494
00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:07,467
before we moved to Flagstaff.
495
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,767
[sighs]
496
00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:15,700
I've always wanted
her to be happy.
497
00:24:15,767 --> 00:24:18,266
I've always wanted
her to be happy.
498
00:24:20,767 --> 00:24:23,667
She just hasn't seemed happy
for a really long time.
499
00:24:24,867 --> 00:24:26,100
Yeah.
500
00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:34,066
We worked as a family,
though dysfunctional,
for years
501
00:24:34,066 --> 00:24:35,767
long before Robyn was here,
502
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,567
struggling through
these relationships,
503
00:24:37,567 --> 00:24:40,100
but we were making it work
for the sake of the kids.
504
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,667
And that was my whole goal was
so that we could have
505
00:24:42,667 --> 00:24:45,700
these children have
a really quality experience
506
00:24:45,767 --> 00:24:47,867
with one another and with us.
507
00:24:49,867 --> 00:24:50,000
I refuse to let whatever's
left just go to pieces.
508
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,300
I mean, hell, if she wanted
to, like...
509
00:24:58,667 --> 00:25:00,867
stay here and build
on the property and date,
510
00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:03,300
I would have
no problem with that.
511
00:25:03,367 --> 00:25:06,100
I would 100% be
okay with that.
512
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:08,166
Why would I date
anybody in Flagstaff?
513
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:10,166
No, I'm not going
to stay here.
514
00:25:10,166 --> 00:25:13,166
It's weird that she would be
living on Coyote Pass.
515
00:25:13,166 --> 00:25:15,867
In reality I think she's
running off to Utah
516
00:25:15,867 --> 00:25:18,600
literally to be
around her family,
find a new husband.
517
00:25:18,667 --> 00:25:19,221
If she were just
to stick around,
we could...
518
00:25:19,221 --> 00:25:20,000
If she were just
to stick around,
we could...
519
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,900
[sighs] We could maybe work
something new out, you know?
520
00:25:26,967 --> 00:25:29,467
I am not in that place
right now.
521
00:25:29,467 --> 00:25:30,967
[Robyn] Well... [chuckles]
522
00:25:30,967 --> 00:25:34,266
-[Meri chuckling] Sorry.
-I had to get to that place
because of you.
523
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:36,467
[Meri] I've been
in the same situation
524
00:25:36,467 --> 00:25:38,600
with Kody in the past.
525
00:25:39,367 --> 00:25:41,300
I was in a bad situation
526
00:25:41,367 --> 00:25:45,667
with this online personality
527
00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:47,567
'cause it wasn't a person.
528
00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:49,221
And it got
really, really ugly.
529
00:25:49,221 --> 00:25:50,000
And it got
really, really ugly.
530
00:25:50,367 --> 00:25:52,600
And scary.
531
00:25:52,667 --> 00:25:55,867
Because I knew
what I needed from Kody
532
00:25:55,867 --> 00:25:57,300
and I wasn't getting it.
533
00:25:57,367 --> 00:25:59,200
He was, like,
very, very, very distant
534
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:02,166
with me and our relationship.
535
00:26:02,166 --> 00:26:05,867
I asked him to just not stay
there for a little bit.
536
00:26:05,867 --> 00:26:11,367
I said, "Could we just get
through some of this stuff?
Could we just take a break?"
537
00:26:11,367 --> 00:26:16,667
He has interpreted that
as I kicked him out,
538
00:26:16,667 --> 00:26:19,000
and he's never come back.
539
00:26:22,467 --> 00:26:25,500
I understand what it is
to try to find happiness
540
00:26:25,567 --> 00:26:29,100
and you're just so unhappy
it just doesn't work.
541
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:34,000
You know, I can't blame
her for wanting that.
542
00:26:34,066 --> 00:26:36,500
And I want her to be happy.
I really, really do.
543
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,300
Meri, Janelle and I are
all wives of a man going
through a divorce.
544
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:46,100
I've never struggled with Kody
in my marriage
545
00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:48,700
as bad as I am right now.
546
00:26:54,266 --> 00:26:55,600
I'm at a loss.
547
00:27:06,066 --> 00:27:10,567
I will never say
that the problem
548
00:27:10,567 --> 00:27:14,567
within our family is
plural marriage.
549
00:27:14,567 --> 00:27:19,221
I believe that each
and every one of us has
the capacity for greatness
550
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:19,567
I believe that each
and every one of us has
the capacity for greatness
551
00:27:19,567 --> 00:27:20,000
and has the capacity
to work through this stuff.
552
00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:31,266
{\an8}So, how's marriage?
553
00:27:31,266 --> 00:27:32,467
{\an8}Marriage is good.
554
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:34,467
{\an8}Still surviving it.
555
00:27:34,467 --> 00:27:35,567
{\an8}[Kody laughs]
556
00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:38,367
{\an8}Because we live in a society
that is telling us
557
00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:42,166
{\an8}that half of us make
the wrong choice
with our divorce rate,
558
00:27:42,166 --> 00:27:45,467
{\an8}we have to assume,
you know, it's half chance.
559
00:27:51,867 --> 00:27:53,700
[Kody] Hey, hey.
It's Brian and Kody,
560
00:27:53,767 --> 00:27:56,500
{\an8}-checking in post-wedding.
-Yes.
561
00:27:56,567 --> 00:27:59,500
{\an8}Brian and I have been friends
for 25 years.
562
00:27:59,567 --> 00:28:02,300
{\an8}We've been business partners
for maybe seven years.
563
00:28:02,367 --> 00:28:05,000
We're just returning now
from a show in Reno, Nevada,
564
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,367
a sportsmen show,
where we had some business.
565
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:09,667
Recently Brian got married
for the first time,
566
00:28:09,667 --> 00:28:11,967
and I officiated the wedding.
567
00:28:11,967 --> 00:28:14,367
Dearly beloved,
let me introduce to you
568
00:28:14,367 --> 00:28:15,764
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell.
569
00:28:15,764 --> 00:28:16,000
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell.
570
00:28:17,266 --> 00:28:19,367
[cheering]
571
00:28:19,367 --> 00:28:21,467
Brian, how's marriage?
572
00:28:21,467 --> 00:28:22,667
Marriage is good.
573
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:24,700
Still surviving it.
574
00:28:24,767 --> 00:28:27,667
-[Kody laughs] Surviving.
-And so far Judith has decided
575
00:28:27,667 --> 00:28:29,266
that she's still happy
and hasn't left me.
576
00:28:29,266 --> 00:28:31,467
-[laughs]
-[Brian] So, that's good.
577
00:28:31,467 --> 00:28:33,667
I've had to share with Brian
578
00:28:33,667 --> 00:28:38,800
basically sort of
the inner demon
I was dealing with
579
00:28:38,867 --> 00:28:40,800
when I came to marry
him and Judith.
580
00:28:40,867 --> 00:28:44,266
Before the wedding I'm like,
"Brian, hey, brother.
581
00:28:44,266 --> 00:28:45,764
Listen, I just have
to ask you.
582
00:28:45,764 --> 00:28:46,000
Listen, I just have
to ask you.
583
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:47,667
Are you sure
you're doing this?
584
00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:49,400
Are you sure doing
the right thing?"
585
00:28:49,467 --> 00:28:53,700
And it was because
of my negative position
586
00:28:53,767 --> 00:28:56,800
in this marriage breaking up
with Christine and I.
587
00:28:56,867 --> 00:28:59,367
I'm in my worst place
588
00:28:59,367 --> 00:29:03,500
when it comes to marriage
and my view of relationships.
589
00:29:03,567 --> 00:29:06,500
I admit that it's
a dark place.
590
00:29:06,567 --> 00:29:09,667
I admit that it wasn't
a fair place for me to be
591
00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:11,867
because not all relationships
are like this.
592
00:29:11,867 --> 00:29:15,764
But I was carrying that burden
to Oklahoma with me.
593
00:29:15,764 --> 00:29:16,000
But I was carrying that burden
to Oklahoma with me.
594
00:29:16,567 --> 00:29:19,367
It was kind of
a little unnerving
595
00:29:19,367 --> 00:29:21,400
right at the last second
for him to say,
596
00:29:21,467 --> 00:29:22,767
"Are you sure
you wanna do this?"
597
00:29:22,767 --> 00:29:25,567
We're here. Everyone's here.
We're doing this.
598
00:29:25,567 --> 00:29:27,266
Well, I called Robyn
599
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:29,767
and I'm telling her
how I'm feeling of course
600
00:29:29,767 --> 00:29:33,500
and Robyn's like,
"You better just shut up.
601
00:29:33,567 --> 00:29:37,000
If you wanna be
in Brian's and Judith's life,
602
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,867
don't you go in there going,
603
00:29:38,867 --> 00:29:41,800
'Are you sure
you wanna do this?'"
[laughing]
604
00:29:41,867 --> 00:29:43,767
So, I only asked once, right?
605
00:29:43,767 --> 00:29:45,066
I think it was just once.
606
00:29:45,066 --> 00:29:45,764
I was glad I guess
that he felt comfortable
enough to ask me,
607
00:29:45,764 --> 00:29:46,000
I was glad I guess
that he felt comfortable
enough to ask me,
608
00:29:49,667 --> 00:29:52,500
you know, if I was doing
what I wanted to do
609
00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:54,667
and that he cared
enough to ask.
610
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,767
We were good to go and we did.
611
00:29:56,767 --> 00:29:58,567
You know, everything went
as planned.
612
00:29:58,567 --> 00:30:00,467
Marriage is
the biggest investment
613
00:30:00,467 --> 00:30:03,567
that a human can make
I believe.
614
00:30:03,567 --> 00:30:06,100
Because we live in a society
that is telling us
615
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:10,367
that half of us make
the wrong choice
with our divorce rate,
616
00:30:10,367 --> 00:30:15,100
then we have to assume
that, you know,
it's half chance.
617
00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:15,764
Happily married?
618
00:30:15,764 --> 00:30:16,000
Happily married?
619
00:30:16,266 --> 00:30:17,867
-Happily married.
-Awesome.
620
00:30:17,867 --> 00:30:19,200
Kody, happily married?
621
00:30:19,266 --> 00:30:22,667
I am happily married
to a couple women.
622
00:30:22,667 --> 00:30:24,567
-[chuckling]
-Yes. That's good.
623
00:30:24,567 --> 00:30:28,767
I should be more,
but I can't figure
this mess out.
624
00:30:28,767 --> 00:30:30,900
But I shouldn't perpetuate
it on you.
625
00:30:30,967 --> 00:30:32,567
Robyn got me straight.
626
00:30:32,567 --> 00:30:33,900
We got you married.
627
00:30:33,967 --> 00:30:36,800
-You're happily married
and I'm very glad.
-That's true.
628
00:30:36,867 --> 00:30:40,000
I'm pleased
with their disposition
towards each other
629
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,500
and I actually feel
a little embarrassed
630
00:30:42,567 --> 00:30:45,367
about where I was
when I went to that wedding.
631
00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:51,467
[Brian] I think back
on how long I've known Kody
632
00:30:51,467 --> 00:30:54,900
and I remember, you know,
633
00:30:54,967 --> 00:30:57,266
when all of his wives lived
in the same house
634
00:30:57,266 --> 00:30:59,300
and all the kids were sharing
bedrooms together,
635
00:30:59,367 --> 00:31:01,567
you know, and I admired
that family.
636
00:31:01,567 --> 00:31:04,166
I feel for Kody
in this break up
637
00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:06,200
and I feel for Christine,
you know,
638
00:31:06,266 --> 00:31:07,767
because I consider
Christine my friend, too.
639
00:31:07,767 --> 00:31:09,867
I mean, I've known her
as long as I've known Kody.
640
00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,400
And you just wish
you could fix it,
641
00:31:12,467 --> 00:31:15,764
you know, with love
for both of them
to be happy again.
642
00:31:15,764 --> 00:31:16,000
you know, with love
for both of them
to be happy again.
643
00:31:16,567 --> 00:31:19,500
And, you know, for me
I remember when they were,
644
00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:22,066
so it's really hard
to see them in this place.
645
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:35,200
{\an8}So, today I sold my bed.
646
00:31:35,266 --> 00:31:37,100
{\an8}Like, Kody and I have been
talking about how
647
00:31:37,166 --> 00:31:39,767
to separate furniture
and everything and, like,
648
00:31:39,767 --> 00:31:42,367
I told him I was going
to sell the bedroom set
649
00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:45,764
and I just didn't want to take
it with me, you know?
650
00:31:45,764 --> 00:31:46,000
and I just didn't want to take
it with me, you know?
651
00:31:48,767 --> 00:31:49,867
I didn't want
to take it with me.
652
00:31:49,867 --> 00:31:51,900
I just want to start all over
with a bedroom set.
653
00:31:51,967 --> 00:31:54,100
I was really hurt
when Christine told me
654
00:31:54,166 --> 00:31:55,767
she was selling
the bedroom set.
655
00:31:55,767 --> 00:31:57,600
But, yeah, it broke my heart.
656
00:31:57,667 --> 00:32:00,600
It was just one more thing,
this awareness.
657
00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:02,567
I mean, I've still been
in this place.
658
00:32:02,567 --> 00:32:05,700
Last night as I was laying
in bed I just thought,
659
00:32:05,767 --> 00:32:08,367
"You know, this is
the last night I'm gonna be
in this bed.
660
00:32:08,367 --> 00:32:11,400
Gosh, it's nice."
661
00:32:11,467 --> 00:32:12,967
It's a king-sized bed, right?
662
00:32:12,967 --> 00:32:15,764
So, I took up all of the room
in the bed,
663
00:32:15,764 --> 00:32:16,000
So, I took up all of the room
in the bed,
664
00:32:16,767 --> 00:32:19,100
and I just laid
there for a while
665
00:32:19,166 --> 00:32:22,200
and I just reflected
666
00:32:22,266 --> 00:32:28,000
and let myself remember
good times in this bed
667
00:32:28,066 --> 00:32:30,367
and hard times in this bed
668
00:32:30,367 --> 00:32:33,600
and giving birth to my babies
in this bed.
669
00:32:36,867 --> 00:32:38,133
It was bittersweet.
670
00:32:38,133 --> 00:32:42,667
It was harder than I thought
it would be last night.
671
00:32:42,667 --> 00:32:45,764
I feel so pathetic
because I am
the divorce denier,
672
00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:46,000
I feel so pathetic
because I am
the divorce denier,
673
00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:51,166
and she's like... She is
just clearing the slate, man.
She is out of here.
674
00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:54,667
There's an emotion
that I'm sensing from her
675
00:32:54,667 --> 00:32:57,166
of this, "Wahoo."
You know, like,
"I'm out of here."
676
00:32:58,166 --> 00:33:01,266
And it's made
me a little crazy.
677
00:33:01,266 --> 00:33:05,300
I don't wanna carry anything
678
00:33:05,367 --> 00:33:11,700
that could bring up
painful memories with Kody
679
00:33:11,767 --> 00:33:13,567
in my next house
680
00:33:13,567 --> 00:33:15,764
because him being in my space
681
00:33:15,764 --> 00:33:16,000
because him being in my space
682
00:33:17,367 --> 00:33:19,867
when we lived
in my bedroom together,
683
00:33:19,867 --> 00:33:21,467
it was toxic.
684
00:33:21,467 --> 00:33:23,467
I'm not taking toxic with me.
685
00:33:23,467 --> 00:33:26,467
It's absolutely weird,
but I'm ready. I'm done.
686
00:33:26,467 --> 00:33:30,166
So, yeah. Crazy day.
687
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:36,600
The best years of my life
I gave to him and...
688
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,266
He shrugged
his shoulders at me.
689
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,467
And it's hard
'cause I'm not young anymore.
690
00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:50,867
[Kody] I gave Christine
the best years
of my life, too.
691
00:33:50,867 --> 00:33:54,567
And it hurts to have her try
and make me own it.
692
00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,767
I mean, starting
a new relationship at 49?
693
00:33:56,767 --> 00:33:58,166
I don't know. I hope.
694
00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,467
I hope that I can
find love again.
695
00:34:00,467 --> 00:34:02,667
I hope that I can be
in a relationship
696
00:34:02,667 --> 00:34:04,767
with someone who loves me,
697
00:34:04,767 --> 00:34:06,467
and wants to be married to me
698
00:34:06,467 --> 00:34:08,266
and is attracted to me.
699
00:34:08,266 --> 00:34:10,500
I don't know. But... [sighs]
700
00:34:10,567 --> 00:34:11,767
What I do know...
701
00:34:13,467 --> 00:34:15,667
is that I would
rather be alone...
702
00:34:16,667 --> 00:34:18,567
and love myself
703
00:34:18,567 --> 00:34:22,166
than to be with someone
who doesn't love me.
704
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,567
{\an8}We're moving and it's
my last day here in Flagstaff.
705
00:34:28,567 --> 00:34:29,867
{\an8}Whoo!
706
00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:31,800
{\an8}The hardest part
of my whole life...
707
00:34:31,867 --> 00:34:33,333
{\an8}-Thank you.
-I love you.
708
00:34:33,333 --> 00:34:36,667
{\an8}...is that my kids don't have
a great relationship
with their dad.
709
00:34:49,867 --> 00:34:52,500
{\an8}[Christine]
Ysabel and Truely and I
are gonna get into a car
710
00:34:52,567 --> 00:34:55,767
{\an8}and drive cross-country
'cause we are moving
Ysabel permanently
711
00:34:56,867 --> 00:34:58,400
to North Carolina.
712
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,867
And she's gonna live
with Maddie and Caleb
and Axel and Evie
713
00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:04,000
and go to school
in North Carolina.
714
00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:09,000
She's really nervous.
This is hard.
715
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,378
She puts on a wicked awesome
brave face
716
00:35:10,378 --> 00:35:11,000
She puts on a wicked awesome
brave face
717
00:35:11,266 --> 00:35:15,166
and pretends to be
more excited
than she actually is.
718
00:35:15,166 --> 00:35:16,266
She's having a hard time.
719
00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:21,266
[Ysabel] It's the moving day
right now,
720
00:35:21,266 --> 00:35:24,166
{\an8}and we're packing
all of my stuff up
into my car,
721
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:25,667
{\an8}and Mom's and Truely's stuff
722
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:28,600
because they're staying
with me in North Carolina
for 10 days
723
00:35:28,667 --> 00:35:31,000
while I just settle in
and we're moving
724
00:35:31,066 --> 00:35:33,967
and it's my last day
here in Flagstaff. Whoo!
725
00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:35,400
I'm excited. I'm nervous.
726
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:38,467
I'm sad to be leaving
Flagstaff and friends and Dad.
727
00:35:38,467 --> 00:35:40,378
I'm really sad
to be leaving Dad.
728
00:35:40,378 --> 00:35:40,600
I'm really sad
to be leaving Dad.
729
00:35:40,667 --> 00:35:41,000
I think I'm more sad
than anything.
730
00:35:42,266 --> 00:35:44,967
[Christine] This is just Izzy
brushing Truely's hair
731
00:35:44,967 --> 00:35:46,900
for the last time
in this house.
732
00:35:46,967 --> 00:35:50,200
[Ysabel] Just today I think
might be just a hard day.
733
00:35:50,266 --> 00:35:51,800
{\an8}I'm gonna miss her of course,
734
00:35:51,867 --> 00:35:54,567
{\an8}but, like, we can chat
over the phone.
735
00:35:54,567 --> 00:35:57,066
It'll still be
okay between us.
736
00:35:57,066 --> 00:35:58,567
{\an8}She's, like,
my favorite sister.
737
00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:01,166
{\an8}I don't know if I'm allowed
to say that, but [sighs]
738
00:36:01,166 --> 00:36:04,867
Like, we're really close
and it's not going
to be the same
739
00:36:04,867 --> 00:36:07,100
having one room empty.
740
00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:09,200
Um, we have
quite a bit of stuff.
741
00:36:09,266 --> 00:36:10,378
[Christine] We do.
I don't know how
we're gonna do this but...
742
00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:11,000
[Christine] We do.
I don't know how
we're gonna do this but...
743
00:36:12,867 --> 00:36:14,266
I'm gonna miss her so much.
744
00:36:14,266 --> 00:36:16,967
I'm so glad we get
one last adventure together.
745
00:36:20,266 --> 00:36:21,400
[Ysabel] I'm moving in
with Maddie and Caleb
746
00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:23,300
and their two babies
Axel and Evie
747
00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:24,767
and I'm really,
really excited.
748
00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:28,100
Maddie and Caleb are really,
really incredible people.
749
00:36:28,166 --> 00:36:30,667
And I think it'll be nice
from going where
750
00:36:30,667 --> 00:36:33,967
my dad and mom didn't have
that great of a relationship
751
00:36:33,967 --> 00:36:37,300
to somebody who has
an incredible relationship.
752
00:36:38,467 --> 00:36:40,367
{\an8}Ysabel's gonna go live
with a couple
753
00:36:40,467 --> 00:36:41,000
{\an8}who is monogamist.
754
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,467
{\an8}Caleb's home all the time.
755
00:36:44,467 --> 00:36:47,166
He's only focused on Maddie
and those babies.
756
00:36:47,166 --> 00:36:50,867
Her parents' relationship
hasn't been good
for many years,
757
00:36:50,867 --> 00:36:52,266
so I think
it could be healing.
758
00:36:52,266 --> 00:36:53,667
I think it could be good.
759
00:36:53,667 --> 00:36:56,967
{\an8}I'm pretty sure
that we weren't exposing
760
00:36:56,967 --> 00:36:59,500
{\an8}our marriage difficulties
to the kids in Las Vegas.
761
00:36:59,567 --> 00:37:00,767
At least I wasn't.
762
00:37:00,767 --> 00:37:02,400
But long before COVID,
763
00:37:02,467 --> 00:37:05,800
I was hearing that she was
talking about leaving me.
764
00:37:05,867 --> 00:37:07,700
I'll help you with everything.
765
00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:10,378
-Dad can help put
things in there, too.
-Yeah, I can help pack.
766
00:37:10,378 --> 00:37:11,000
-Dad can help put
things in there, too.
-Yeah, I can help pack.
767
00:37:11,667 --> 00:37:16,000
{\an8}It's sad to see them go
and also super exciting
768
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:18,767
{\an8}and I'm sure it's going
to be very rewarding.
769
00:37:18,767 --> 00:37:22,200
{\an8}Ysabel's always been
this breath of fresh air
770
00:37:22,266 --> 00:37:24,467
{\an8}whenever she comes
in the house.
771
00:37:24,467 --> 00:37:27,066
She's always been
very sweet to me.
772
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,266
And always been, like...
773
00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:33,600
I don't know, loving and kind
774
00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:37,867
and, you know, it will be sad
to not have her around.
775
00:37:38,967 --> 00:37:40,378
[Kody] All right.
What do you got?
776
00:37:40,378 --> 00:37:41,000
[Kody] All right.
What do you got?
777
00:37:41,266 --> 00:37:44,000
-This is your, like,
nightly luggage, right?
-Yes.
778
00:37:44,066 --> 00:37:47,166
[Christine] I'm excited
to go cross-country.
779
00:37:47,166 --> 00:37:50,100
Ysabel and I have
plenty of space
'cause we're in the front.
780
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:52,367
Truely has no space
'cause she's in the back.
781
00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,600
[Kody] Is that gonna go
onto your lap?
782
00:37:55,667 --> 00:38:00,767
Two weeks away from home
in a tiny cramped car
783
00:38:00,767 --> 00:38:04,166
with no one
but my sister and my mom.
784
00:38:04,166 --> 00:38:06,467
There is no space
for anything.
785
00:38:06,467 --> 00:38:08,166
[Kody] She wants it up by her.
786
00:38:08,166 --> 00:38:10,378
Did I mention
that it's cramped?
787
00:38:10,378 --> 00:38:11,000
Did I mention
that it's cramped?
788
00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:14,867
-[Christine] You have no idea
how important this is to her.
-The pancake mix.
789
00:38:14,867 --> 00:38:16,500
[Christine] Yeah.
And it'll fit right there.
Perfect.
790
00:38:16,567 --> 00:38:18,567
-[Christine] Do we have...
-[Ysabel] That was going
in mine.
791
00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:20,467
I think that if he had
it his way,
792
00:38:20,467 --> 00:38:22,266
he would pack it himself.
793
00:38:24,367 --> 00:38:25,500
Hmm.
794
00:38:25,567 --> 00:38:27,867
But that just didn't happen.
We packed it.
795
00:38:27,867 --> 00:38:30,266
[Truely] I'm loading
into the car now.
796
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:32,166
Well, why don't you give
me a hug first?
797
00:38:32,166 --> 00:38:33,967
[Ysabel] My dad isn't coming
with us.
798
00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:36,867
He has children
here in Flagstaff,
799
00:38:36,867 --> 00:38:40,378
so it's not like he can
also be away for that long.
800
00:38:40,378 --> 00:38:40,600
so it's not like he can
also be away for that long.
801
00:38:40,667 --> 00:38:41,000
Also, like, there's still
COVID around unfortunately.
802
00:38:43,266 --> 00:38:46,000
I wouldn't wanna travel
with Christine at this point.
803
00:38:46,066 --> 00:38:47,867
It's done and it's over
804
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:51,967
and she's moving on
and I'm finally willing
to accept that.
805
00:38:52,867 --> 00:38:54,700
But I'm not gonna take
a trip with her.
806
00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:57,367
-Mmm.
-Bye, sweetheart. I love you.
807
00:38:57,367 --> 00:39:00,367
-Have a nice trip. It looks
like it's gonna be fun.
-Thank you.
808
00:39:00,367 --> 00:39:02,467
Ysabel, should I shut
the back now?
809
00:39:02,467 --> 00:39:05,867
The hardest part
of my whole life...
810
00:39:05,867 --> 00:39:09,567
is that my kids don't have
a great relationship
with their dad.
811
00:39:09,567 --> 00:39:10,378
He doesn't even know them.
812
00:39:10,378 --> 00:39:10,967
He doesn't even know them.
813
00:39:10,967 --> 00:39:11,000
And what about
your spare keys?
814
00:39:12,367 --> 00:39:13,800
Did you get one of the keys?
815
00:39:13,867 --> 00:39:17,000
You know what's sad too is
they don't know
how amazing he is either.
816
00:39:22,300 --> 00:39:25,467
Kody has
this awesome side to him
817
00:39:25,467 --> 00:39:27,600
that my kids don't know,
818
00:39:27,667 --> 00:39:30,266
and who I fell in love with.
819
00:39:30,266 --> 00:39:32,800
-[Ysabel] Okay.
-All right. You guys have
a good trip.
820
00:39:32,867 --> 00:39:35,667
[Christine] Of course
he's not that person anymore.
Neither am I.
821
00:39:35,667 --> 00:39:37,066
It's sad all around.
822
00:39:37,066 --> 00:39:38,100
-Thank you.
-I love you.
823
00:39:38,100 --> 00:39:39,467
-I love you, too, Dad.
-We'll see you.
824
00:39:39,467 --> 00:39:40,378
-I'll see you later.
-You guys have a good trip.
825
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:41,000
-I'll see you later.
-You guys have a good trip.
826
00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:43,900
Listen, I have 18 kids.
I'm spread thin.
827
00:39:43,967 --> 00:39:46,667
I work hard to visit
with my children,
828
00:39:46,667 --> 00:39:48,867
to connect with them,
to do something with them
that they like.
829
00:39:49,867 --> 00:39:51,667
It's not always
an easy connection.
830
00:39:51,667 --> 00:39:53,000
Well, I am sitting
here going...
831
00:39:54,166 --> 00:39:57,100
Reflecting on what could have
been done differently.
832
00:39:57,166 --> 00:39:58,767
And what has happened to us?
833
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,066
What's happened to my life?
What has happened
to my purpose
834
00:40:03,066 --> 00:40:05,200
and the things
that I was pursing before?
835
00:40:05,266 --> 00:40:07,166
'Cause I feel
so distant from it.
836
00:40:09,066 --> 00:40:10,378
And now Ysabel's moving
as far away as she could.
837
00:40:10,378 --> 00:40:11,000
And now Ysabel's moving
as far away as she could.
838
00:40:13,266 --> 00:40:15,000
-I love you.
-Okay. I love you, too, Dad.
839
00:40:15,066 --> 00:40:16,767
-Have a good trip.
-Thank you. Bye.
840
00:40:20,367 --> 00:40:24,100
[Ysabel] It's hard leaving
not knowing when
I'm gonna see him again.
841
00:40:24,100 --> 00:40:25,100
Oh, my God.
842
00:40:26,767 --> 00:40:28,900
-How you doing, love muffin?
-Oh, my God.
843
00:40:28,967 --> 00:40:30,900
I don't know when
I'm gonna be back here.
844
00:40:33,166 --> 00:40:36,500
Especially since we haven't
really gotten to spend
845
00:40:36,567 --> 00:40:40,378
as much time together
as I think we both
would have wanted.
846
00:40:40,378 --> 00:40:40,867
as much time together
as I think we both
would have wanted.
847
00:40:40,867 --> 00:40:41,000
Not knowing when I'm gonna see
him again, it's really hard.
848
00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:10,378
I'm sad I didn't to say
goodbye to, like,
Janelle and her kids
849
00:41:10,378 --> 00:41:11,000
I'm sad I didn't to say
goodbye to, like,
Janelle and her kids
850
00:41:11,767 --> 00:41:14,800
and Ari and Saul
one last time.
851
00:41:14,867 --> 00:41:16,000
[Christine] Yeah,
that's rough.
852
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,667
[Christine] Ysabel moving is
the hardest.
853
00:41:25,467 --> 00:41:26,900
She's just moving so far
854
00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:28,467
and I don't know
when I'm gonna see her again.
855
00:41:28,467 --> 00:41:30,467
Next month I'm going
to be moving to Utah
856
00:41:30,467 --> 00:41:31,767
and I don't know
what that looks like.
857
00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:35,667
And so I think half of this is
everything is so uncertain
858
00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:37,867
'cause my life is
uncertain completely.
859
00:41:45,367 --> 00:41:48,400
{\an8}[Kody reading]
860
00:41:48,467 --> 00:41:49,967
{\an8}[Christine] My house is
now under contract.
861
00:41:49,967 --> 00:41:51,700
I just hope
they don't hate me.
862
00:41:51,767 --> 00:41:54,100
I am moving next week.
863
00:41:55,767 --> 00:41:57,767
Congratulations.
You're leaving the family.
864
00:41:57,767 --> 00:41:59,967
Like, I don't know
what I'm supposed
to say to this.
865
00:41:59,967 --> 00:42:01,700
{\an8}[Kody] We never made
an agreement.
866
00:42:01,767 --> 00:42:03,266
{\an8}We never went
to our church leaders
and said,
867
00:42:03,266 --> 00:42:04,266
{\an8}"Hey, we're divorced."
868
00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,667
{\an8}You know, would they even
allow us a divorce?
869
00:42:05,667 --> 00:42:08,667
{\an8}Usually you have
to go ask for a divorce.
870
00:42:08,667 --> 00:42:10,378
{\an8}You know, technically
until Christine is physical
with another man,
871
00:42:10,378 --> 00:42:11,000
{\an8}You know, technically
until Christine is physical
with another man,
872
00:42:11,567 --> 00:42:13,467
{\an8}she's not divorced.
873
00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:16,166
{\an8}[Christine] Being a mom is
my most important thing.
874
00:42:16,166 --> 00:42:17,667
{\an8}I know without a doubt
875
00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:20,000
{\an8}I have tried
to make this work,
876
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,700
{\an8}but I couldn't stay married
to someone who had favorites
and made it known.
877
00:42:26,266 --> 00:42:27,266
{\an8}God.