[Kody Brown] Previously on Sister Wives ...
Hey! You have a new house.
One thing I will say about Christine,
no matter what she thinks she's gonna always try to make you feel better
about whatever's going on.
[Christine] Oh, this is great. It's big.
[Kody] Janelle has a tiny little house.
Why am I gonna sit here and suffer with you with your choices.
-[applause] -[Kody] Dearly beloved, let me introduce to you,
-Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell. -[cheering]
[Kody] I am the high priest of my own family,
but I'm also a failed priest.
I got a wife leaving me.
I don't know what to do about my house.
Selling it now, you know, would make it so you could...
We could pay off Coyote Pass,
and then Janelle could actually build on it.
So, if I did sell,
the family needs the money right now
for the property.
If I'm going to sell my house,
I'm not going to put that money into Coyote Pass.
[rain pouring]
[thunder rumbling]
[Kody] Christine's been hassling me for months
to get all my stuff out of her garage.
I'm busy. I've got work to do.
And now she's put this big thing on my plate.
I don't know what to do.
[Christine] If I had not boxed Kody's stuff up
out of my bedroom and moved it to the garage,
he would have never gotten to it.
[Kody] I don't actually have a space of my own.
I don't have a place to put this.
I don't have a corner.
I don't have anything.
Kody had to duplicate everything that he had
'cause he had all of his stuff spread into four houses when we were in Vegas.
It's just a polygamy thing I guess.
I found myself looking in four closets
for a shirt sometimes.
[Christine] Well, he doesn't have stuff at Meri's house.
He hasn't for years. He hasn't stayed there for years.
He can't have stuff at Janelle's house
'cause she lives in a little tiny trailer.
So, he has quadruple what he needs at Robyn's house.
[Christine] I'm working on this. This is stuff that goes.
So, what I'm doing right now is...
-Thank you for... -So, you don't want none of this stuff?
-Your... -That's not mine.
Yeah. Well, you don't want the shop vac.
-I bought a shop vac for each house. -I would love that shop vac.
[Kody] I have an emotional attachment to this house. Yes, I do.
Listen, I have an emotional attachment to Christine!
My goal is to get rid of as much stuff as possible
and move with less stuff.
That's why I want you to take that table so bad.
-Okay. -I don't wanna move a lot of stuff.
I assume that what we're doing is we're splitting all of our assets,
the house, the land, the everything we've got 50-50,
which is funny 'cause she's already sold off
some of the stuff that was ours.
-So, my name's on the property and I also have this house. -Yeah.
So, to split 50-50,
how about if we just cut it
and I keep everything from the house
and the family keeps everything from the property.
I don't need anything from the property.
-You're ready to sell this place. -Yes.
Right now my name is the only name on this house.
A lot of polygamist women don't have assets in their name.
Like, if we only had the property
and I didn't have this house,
I would have nothing in my name.
In plural marriage there's a tendency for the wives to own the assets
because if Dad goes to jail for a cohabitation,
they're gonna take all the property.
Christine's walking away with her money from this house.
In this deal she'll be able to buy another house.
Janelle can't do anything on Coyote Pass until we pay it off.
If you split everything 50-50,
that means I get 50% of everything that he has,
all of his property.
That means his and Robyn's house, too.
If he wants to go down that route and split it that way,
that doesn't make any sense.
Let's just make it clean and easy.
I get the house. [clicks tongue]
You can have the property. [clicks tongue]
And it's just... It's easier.
Christine and I are only sharing our,
mine and Christine's, shared assets 50-50.
She doesn't have any access to the rest of the wives, their assets,
or even my assets that are shared with the rest of the wives.
Now, are you talking to a realtor?
Yes. She says this is gonna sell so fast.
-Really? -There's only two other places
in this whole valley right now that are available.
-Maybe it's just time to do that. -Is it?
Um...
Okay. All right.
-[Christine] It works, right? -That sounds like a good deal.
-[Christine] Don't you think it's... Ohh! -That'll work nice and clean.
-Here's the thing... -Kody, wait. Can I just tell you how thrilled I am
that you've agreed because I have been praying so hard
about this one thing right here.
It has been keeping me up at night
because I just... To me it made so much sense.
[Kody] I agreed to it.
We're done. We're moving forward.
It's not the most fair scenario.
The problem is Coyote Pass isn't paid off.
So, she's walking away with the money
we would have paid off Coyote Pass with.
She's got that. She's given us her lot,
but we still have to pay off Coyote Pass.
I think it's fair that Christine is taking her equity.
We gave family money to Christine.
We gave family money to Robyn to buy her house.
About the same amount to both of them.
And honestly, the equity stake that Christine has in our property,
the Coyote Pass property,
is about equal to what the equity is in her home.
This is easy. This is a really clean transaction.
Okay. So... [sighs]
All right. What are you doing with all the bedroom stuff?
I just need a new bedroom set.
[Kody] I'm sitting here just in this weird place of...
It's not really truly denial.
It's that I...
That everything that was special, the house,
the kids, the furniture,
everything is just, like, this is not mine.
It's just a shock to me.
The whole experience, the memories.
Every bit of this.
Now that she wants to put the house on the market that's...
I guess I just better get used to this
because this is the way that it is.
-[Kody] Okay. -[Christine] Okay, thanks.
-All right. See ya. -Okay. See ya.
[Christine] I've just involved Kody in the decision
and asked his opinion,
but in the end, what I choose to do with this house
is just up to me.
My name's the only name on this house.
Our family, the whole family, helped Christine buy the property, her house.
Okay. And she came into buying Coyote Pass with us as an agreement.
Coyote Pass isn't paid off,
but she's walking away with the equity from her house.
That equity technically would be partly the family's.
It's just one of those convoluted things that,
you know, when we're mixing our assets and stuff like that
and then we break up,
it's a struggle to actually separate everything.
But it's not cut and dried.
Our marriage didn't work.
I'm moving on and I'm moving.
[Janelle] I have been in the RV full-time for a month.
The trailer was a rude awakening.
Taking care of your basic necessities is a lot more work
than when I live in town somewhere,
but I love being out here. I love it.
I wake up in the morning. There's the mountain.
Like, I love being out here.
[Kody] Living in a trailer is an absolute inconvenience.
I think it might be fun for Janelle.
It's, like, every day she's dealing with one new problem.
Hi.
So, I got...
This is the hose for the water and it's a whatever...
-potable water-safe. -Okay.
We're trying to figure out an easier way
to get the water from the jug to the tank.
See, I can't...
-I can't get... -Okay. Well, that's fine. I'm just trying to get water in
to replenish what we've used.
I have to haul eight of these
in order to fill my water tank.
And the water tank lasts us about a day and half if we're conservative.
Can you take my garbage to the road today?
'Cause I... It's gonna rain and I don't wanna
-walk it all the way up there. -Oh, shoot. My truck's all full.
Oh. All right. Well, I'll just walk it up there.
-I... [sighs] -It's fine. I'll just walk it up.
She really loves the idea of being here.
'Cause it's been nice to sit out here on a cool night.
The view is just gorgeous.
I think that she's doing really well
because she's handling it well,
but I think it's been overwhelming.
Because it's been a challenge there's just no chance
I'm gonna sit here and say, "I told you so."
Or gloat. I'm not gonna gloat in any of that.
It's more like it's sad.
[Janelle] This adjustment is huge and it's harder for me
because Savanah is struggling.
I wanna keep that for, like, our clothes
and our food and stuff that we need.
[Janelle] I'm not sure this is sustainable
unless I can really bring this to some sort of even keel
because she's miserable.
She's still on board.
She wants to get the house built,
so she's here.
Like, but I know that it's been rough on her.
There's so much investment here in this family.
Hang on with me, okay?
I am.
I would never do anything to this family to hurt it.
I wish that people could see that.
[Robyn] Christine talked to us a little while ago
about, you know, her decision to for sure leave Kody.
I have decided to leave.
I'm gonna leave Kody.
[Janelle] Even though I knew intellectually it was coming,
it was still hard.
[Meri] Why are you doing this?
You know, how are you breaking up our family?
[Christine] You always hear how kids feel when their parents get divorced,
but you don't very often hear how a sister wife feels.
The kids can't control their parents getting divorced,
and sister wives really can't control
when a sister wife leaves either. Not really.
Hi! How's it going?
Good. How are you?
Uh, I'm okay.
There's this heavy weight between us
because we know that our family is
just getting messed with like crazy.
[sighs]
How's it going?
Um... [sighs]
It's...
-It's weird. -Mmm-hmm.
-It's weird. -[Meri] Mmm-hmm.
[Robyn] You didn't say a whole lot.
-Did I read you right when we were with Christine? -Oh, yeah.
I'm just real frustrated.
I didn't trust myself to say anything to be honest with you.
It's her relationship with him.
-[Meri] And so I feel like... -Yeah, but, like it affects us though.
It does. It totally affects us.
But, like, it's more about him.
We have a relationship with her, too.
Supposedly it doesn't affect us
because we're not a part of their relationship,
but that's bull crap.
It's so crazy to just sit there
and watch this big bomb going off in my family.
[Janelle] I'm not really sure we have a family anymore.
It just seems like it's this big change of venue,
and I don't know what it looks like now.
We still have a family.
I mean, it's still our family.
Christine's just not in it.
[Meri] In our family, Kody is married to each of the wives.
The sister wives have a sister wife relationship,
but not a romantic relationship.
At first when he said, you know, "She's moving my stuff out."
And I was like, "Well..."
"And she doesn't want me in her room."
-Yeah. -And I'm like,
"Then go sleep in the living room on the couch."
Why weren't these two talking it out?
Stay on the couch. Fight for her.
-[Meri] I'm really angry. -[Robyn] Yeah.
I'm really angry.
Obviously you don't care enough to fight for her.
Obviously you didn't care enough to fight for me.
And I don't understand that.
I'm feeling betrayed.
I can't imagine what Kody's feeling.
He's a mess.
Kody is now questioning me left and right
about things that I thought he knew about me.
Like, he's struggling to trust everybody around him.
Yes, you're going through a divorce with Christine,
but you have marriages that you have to maintain.
He still has us.
And he still has marriages with us.
And he still has to fix them and figure them out
and get over his anger enough
to actually interact appropriately
or he's going to ruin every single one of them.
I'm going through a divorce.
Just give me a little time to be sad and angry
and go through this process.
I'll get over it I think.
It just makes me think was it just all a lie all those years?
She's always said how much she wanted the sister wives.
When I married Kody,
it wasn't just because I loved him.
I felt like that I had a confirmation from God
that I was supposed to be married to Kody.
And I still feel like that.
[Robyn] She had to be open to the idea of
that Kody can love other women.
That's not an easy thought process.
Why'd she come in the family if she's gonna do this after.
And she didn't even talk to me about it.
I agreed to be a sister wife,
but I agreed to be an equal wife.
-[child exclaiming] -Oh!
[Meri] I felt like that Christine was more than a sister wife.
I felt like that she was a friend for a lot of years.
[Christine cooing]
[Meri] We believe that this is the family structure
that is for us.
And then now just all of a sudden
everybody's just changing their mind
because it was hard.
She was an equal.
She just wanted to be more than equal.
She wanted to be loved without giving love.
I'm taking it really personal.
I'm not gonna cry about it 'cause I'm pissed off.
There's so much investment here in this family.
You don't just let that go.
Regardless of the work that you've done,
the sacrifices you've made,
why would you say, "Well, you have to stay even though you're unhappy."
I just don't want to admit or even accept the idea
that it's whatever we had as a family is gone.
They don't have a choice.
This is a big change.
The family as we know it no longer exists.
When she was talking, it was like released.
Like, she had released the relationship.
-I could see it. I could feel it on her. -Really?
Oh, yeah. I recognize it.
-[Meri] You've been there. -Yeah.
It's just so familiar.
And I've seen Kody give up on me and him.
I didn't give up on Meri.
It just turned out the relationship was essentially unstable.
I just didn't feel like it was tenable.
It's not a functional relationship.
We can get along, but we can't be together.
People have asked me. People are always asking me.
Like, "Why do you stay? You don't have a relationship with him."
And I...
think on it and I pray on it and I meditate on it
and I always come to a peace with it.
I'm just grateful that you're sticking it out.
She belongs with us.
Hang on with me, okay?
I am.
We have to rebuild.
Right?
Yeah, I know. We do.
Just hang on with me, okay?
I really wanted to live plural marriage
and give that big picture of the whole family to my kids.
Ari's five years old.
They're not even gonna get to experience it.
I want that for my kids, but I also...
But I want it for me, too.
I had other choices. [sobs]
This is what I wanted.
I just...
have to watch as they destroy what I've wanted.
I just can't let it go.
Truth be told, Meri,
she was talking about leaving Kody before we moved to Flagstaff.
I've always wanted her to be happy.
[Meri] I will never say
that the problem within our family is
plural marriage.
[Robyn] I would never do anything
to this family to hurt it.
That's who I am. That's what I feel.
I just wish that people could see that.
What I love about what you're doing is
that you're not just making it about what's going on between you and him.
You're making it about everybody else, too.
As much as I would be devastated,
I wouldn't blame Meri if she got tired of hanging on
and she decided to give up.
It's not just Kody that she's leaving.
-No. -No.
I mean, we've only got a few kids married
and we've got a few grandbabies.
I mean, what happens in the future I don't know.
You know, when I came in the family, I saw this,
like, big group family team experience.
I wanted to play a role, an important role, in that.
I was a single mom. I had three kids, 10 on down.
My divorce had really shook me.
I kind of said to myself, you know,
I don't really care so much about
the romantic part of a relationship.
I cared about whether or not
he was a good husband, a good man.
I cared about what I was going to give to my children.
Like, that was my ultimate and biggest most important thing.
[Meri] Kody used to say to me all the time,
"Why do you have these emotions?"
"When you know that it's right that they're in the family,
why do you feel like this?"
-I'm like, "Because I'm human." -[Robyn] Yeah.
[Meri] Jealousy I think is a fact of life.
The something that I've learned in more recent years is
that jealousy is not a bad thing.
It's just an emotion and you just work through the emotions.
-[Meri] I'm learning and growing. -I'm always trying to give him
the other perspective.
It's, like, if someone else was in my life
that you were having to share me with,
you would be, like, a nutcase.
-[chuckling] Yeah. He doesn't like that. -[Robyn] Yeah.
If I were to be giving attention to another guy,
how would it make you feel?
The vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands
or another lover sickens me.
I've had this conversation with Kody a lot of times.
How would you feel if the tables were turned?
And he's like, " I don't wanna..."
I'm like, "I'm sorry, but you need to think about this."
I think that, yes, if I didn't manage it right,
I could be a nutcase if the roles were reversed in plural marriage
and I had a brother husband.
But I think she's missing something.
The way guys bond, we'd be playing video games,
high-fiving each other
and she would wish that we were actually getting some work done.
"Oh, yeah. If it was a bunch of brother husbands,
we'd be sitting around on the couch playing video games."
I don't believe him
because whenever it comes to,
like, guys in his wives' lives,
like my ex, he gets funny.
I just... I think it's gonna mess, like, confuse and...
confuse the kids like crazy.
-It's gonna mess with the kids. -[Robyn] Yeah.
I mean, I asked her, you know, that day
and she's like, "Oh, they're all for it."
And I don't know what that means.
That means they're hearing one side of the story.
Yeah. I know that.
Nobody has asked me my side of the story.
The only people that have gotten my side of the story...
Robyn and Meri.
And maybe Janelle.
To be honest, I don't know
out of the kids who knows and who doesn't know that I'm leaving Kody.
I know who knows out of my kids.
But if they're so concerned about why am I leaving
and what about being a sister wife,
why wouldn't they talk to me personally?
The only one who reached out to me was Janelle.
Do you think this was coming before Flagstaff?
Truth be told, Meri...
She was talking about leaving Kody
before we moved to Flagstaff.
[sighs]
I've always wanted her to be happy.
She just hasn't seemed happy for a really long time.
Yeah.
We worked as a family, though dysfunctional, for years
long before Robyn was here,
struggling through these relationships,
but we were making it work for the sake of the kids.
And that was my whole goal was so that we could have
these children have a really quality experience
with one another and with us.
I refuse to let whatever's left just go to pieces.
I mean, hell, if she wanted to, like...
stay here and build on the property and date,
I would have no problem with that.
I would 100% be okay with that.
Why would I date anybody in Flagstaff?
No, I'm not going to stay here.
It's weird that she would be living on Coyote Pass.
In reality I think she's running off to Utah
literally to be around her family, find a new husband.
If she were just to stick around, we could...
[sighs] We could maybe work something new out, you know?
I am not in that place right now.
[Robyn] Well... [chuckles]
-[Meri chuckling] Sorry. -I had to get to that place because of you.
[Meri] I've been in the same situation
with Kody in the past.
I was in a bad situation
with this online personality
'cause it wasn't a person.
And it got really, really ugly.
And scary.
Because I knew what I needed from Kody
and I wasn't getting it.
He was, like, very, very, very distant
with me and our relationship.
I asked him to just not stay there for a little bit.
I said, "Could we just get through some of this stuff? Could we just take a break?"
He has interpreted that as I kicked him out,
and he's never come back.
I understand what it is to try to find happiness
and you're just so unhappy it just doesn't work.
You know, I can't blame her for wanting that.
And I want her to be happy. I really, really do.
Meri, Janelle and I are all wives of a man going through a divorce.
I've never struggled with Kody in my marriage
as bad as I am right now.
I'm at a loss.
I will never say that the problem
within our family is plural marriage.
I believe that each and every one of us has the capacity for greatness
and has the capacity to work through this stuff.
So, how's marriage?
Marriage is good.
Still surviving it.
[Kody laughs]
Because we live in a society that is telling us
that half of us make the wrong choice with our divorce rate,
we have to assume, you know, it's half chance.
[Kody] Hey, hey. It's Brian and Kody,
-checking in post-wedding. -Yes.
Brian and I have been friends for 25 years.
We've been business partners for maybe seven years.
We're just returning now from a show in Reno, Nevada,
a sportsmen show, where we had some business.
Recently Brian got married for the first time,
and I officiated the wedding.
Dearly beloved, let me introduce to you
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Coalwell.
[cheering]
Brian, how's marriage?
Marriage is good.
Still surviving it.
-[Kody laughs] Surviving. -And so far Judith has decided
that she's still happy and hasn't left me.
-[laughs] -[Brian] So, that's good.
I've had to share with Brian
basically sort of the inner demon I was dealing with
when I came to marry him and Judith.
Before the wedding I'm like, "Brian, hey, brother.
Listen, I just have to ask you.
Are you sure you're doing this?
Are you sure doing the right thing?"
And it was because of my negative position
in this marriage breaking up with Christine and I.
I'm in my worst place
when it comes to marriage and my view of relationships.
I admit that it's a dark place.
I admit that it wasn't a fair place for me to be
because not all relationships are like this.
But I was carrying that burden to Oklahoma with me.
It was kind of a little unnerving
right at the last second for him to say,
"Are you sure you wanna do this?"
We're here. Everyone's here. We're doing this.
Well, I called Robyn
and I'm telling her how I'm feeling of course
and Robyn's like, "You better just shut up.
If you wanna be in Brian's and Judith's life,
don't you go in there going,
'Are you sure you wanna do this?'" [laughing]
So, I only asked once, right?
I think it was just once.
I was glad I guess that he felt comfortable enough to ask me,
you know, if I was doing what I wanted to do
and that he cared enough to ask.
We were good to go and we did.
You know, everything went as planned.
Marriage is the biggest investment
that a human can make I believe.
Because we live in a society that is telling us
that half of us make the wrong choice with our divorce rate,
then we have to assume that, you know, it's half chance.
Happily married?
-Happily married. -Awesome.
Kody, happily married?
I am happily married to a couple women.
-[chuckling] -Yes. That's good.
I should be more, but I can't figure this mess out.
But I shouldn't perpetuate it on you.
Robyn got me straight.
We got you married.
-You're happily married and I'm very glad. -That's true.
I'm pleased with their disposition towards each other
and I actually feel a little embarrassed
about where I was when I went to that wedding.
[Brian] I think back on how long I've known Kody
and I remember, you know,
when all of his wives lived in the same house
and all the kids were sharing bedrooms together,
you know, and I admired that family.
I feel for Kody in this break up
and I feel for Christine, you know,
because I consider Christine my friend, too.
I mean, I've known her as long as I've known Kody.
And you just wish you could fix it,
you know, with love for both of them to be happy again.
And, you know, for me I remember when they were,
so it's really hard to see them in this place.
So, today I sold my bed.
Like, Kody and I have been talking about how
to separate furniture and everything and, like,
I told him I was going to sell the bedroom set
and I just didn't want to take it with me, you know?
I didn't want to take it with me.
I just want to start all over with a bedroom set.
I was really hurt when Christine told me
she was selling the bedroom set.
But, yeah, it broke my heart.
It was just one more thing, this awareness.
I mean, I've still been in this place.
Last night as I was laying in bed I just thought,
"You know, this is the last night I'm gonna be in this bed.
Gosh, it's nice."
It's a king-sized bed, right?
So, I took up all of the room in the bed,
and I just laid there for a while
and I just reflected
and let myself remember good times in this bed
and hard times in this bed
and giving birth to my babies in this bed.
It was bittersweet.
It was harder than I thought it would be last night.
I feel so pathetic because I am the divorce denier,
and she's like... She is just clearing the slate, man. She is out of here.
There's an emotion that I'm sensing from her
of this, "Wahoo." You know, like, "I'm out of here."
And it's made me a little crazy.
I don't wanna carry anything
that could bring up painful memories with Kody
in my next house
because him being in my space
when we lived in my bedroom together,
it was toxic.
I'm not taking toxic with me.
It's absolutely weird, but I'm ready. I'm done.
So, yeah. Crazy day.
The best years of my life I gave to him and...
He shrugged his shoulders at me.
And it's hard 'cause I'm not young anymore.
[Kody] I gave Christine the best years of my life, too.
And it hurts to have her try and make me own it.
I mean, starting a new relationship at 49?
I don't know. I hope.
I hope that I can find love again.
I hope that I can be in a relationship
with someone who loves me,
and wants to be married to me
and is attracted to me.
I don't know. But... [sighs]
What I do know...
is that I would rather be alone...
and love myself
than to be with someone who doesn't love me.
We're moving and it's my last day here in Flagstaff.
Whoo!
The hardest part of my whole life...
-Thank you. -I love you.
...is that my kids don't have a great relationship with their dad.
[Christine] Ysabel and Truely and I are gonna get into a car
and drive cross-country 'cause we are moving Ysabel permanently
to North Carolina.
And she's gonna live with Maddie and Caleb and Axel and Evie
and go to school in North Carolina.
She's really nervous. This is hard.
She puts on a wicked awesome brave face
and pretends to be more excited than she actually is.
She's having a hard time.
[Ysabel] It's the moving day right now,
and we're packing all of my stuff up into my car,
and Mom's and Truely's stuff
because they're staying with me in North Carolina for 10 days
while I just settle in and we're moving
and it's my last day here in Flagstaff. Whoo!
I'm excited. I'm nervous.
I'm sad to be leaving Flagstaff and friends and Dad.
I'm really sad to be leaving Dad.
I think I'm more sad than anything.
[Christine] This is just Izzy brushing Truely's hair
for the last time in this house.
[Ysabel] Just today I think might be just a hard day.
I'm gonna miss her of course,
but, like, we can chat over the phone.
It'll still be okay between us.
She's, like, my favorite sister.
I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, but [sighs]
Like, we're really close and it's not going to be the same
having one room empty.
Um, we have quite a bit of stuff.
[Christine] We do. I don't know how we're gonna do this but...
I'm gonna miss her so much.
I'm so glad we get one last adventure together.
[Ysabel] I'm moving in with Maddie and Caleb
and their two babies Axel and Evie
and I'm really, really excited.
Maddie and Caleb are really, really incredible people.
And I think it'll be nice from going where
my dad and mom didn't have that great of a relationship
to somebody who has an incredible relationship.
Ysabel's gonna go live with a couple
who is monogamist.
Caleb's home all the time.
He's only focused on Maddie and those babies.
Her parents' relationship hasn't been good for many years,
so I think it could be healing.
I think it could be good.
I'm pretty sure that we weren't exposing
our marriage difficulties to the kids in Las Vegas.
At least I wasn't.
But long before COVID,
I was hearing that she was talking about leaving me.
I'll help you with everything.
-Dad can help put things in there, too. -Yeah, I can help pack.
It's sad to see them go and also super exciting
and I'm sure it's going to be very rewarding.
Ysabel's always been this breath of fresh air
whenever she comes in the house.
She's always been very sweet to me.
And always been, like...
I don't know, loving and kind
and, you know, it will be sad to not have her around.
[Kody] All right. What do you got?
-This is your, like, nightly luggage, right? -Yes.
[Christine] I'm excited to go cross-country.
Ysabel and I have plenty of space 'cause we're in the front.
Truely has no space 'cause she's in the back.
[Kody] Is that gonna go onto your lap?
Two weeks away from home in a tiny cramped car
with no one but my sister and my mom.
There is no space for anything.
[Kody] She wants it up by her.
Did I mention that it's cramped?
-[Christine] You have no idea how important this is to her. -The pancake mix.
[Christine] Yeah. And it'll fit right there. Perfect.
-[Christine] Do we have... -[Ysabel] That was going in mine.
I think that if he had it his way,
he would pack it himself.
Hmm.
But that just didn't happen. We packed it.
[Truely] I'm loading into the car now.
Well, why don't you give me a hug first?
[Ysabel] My dad isn't coming with us.
He has children here in Flagstaff,
so it's not like he can also be away for that long.
Also, like, there's still COVID around unfortunately.
I wouldn't wanna travel with Christine at this point.
It's done and it's over
and she's moving on and I'm finally willing to accept that.
But I'm not gonna take a trip with her.
-Mmm. -Bye, sweetheart. I love you.
-Have a nice trip. It looks like it's gonna be fun. -Thank you.
Ysabel, should I shut the back now?
The hardest part of my whole life...
is that my kids don't have a great relationship with their dad.
He doesn't even know them.
And what about your spare keys?
Did you get one of the keys?
You know what's sad too is they don't know how amazing he is either.
Kody has this awesome side to him
that my kids don't know,
and who I fell in love with.
-[Ysabel] Okay. -All right. You guys have a good trip.
[Christine] Of course he's not that person anymore. Neither am I.
It's sad all around.
-Thank you. -I love you.
-I love you, too, Dad. -We'll see you.
-I'll see you later. -You guys have a good trip.
Listen, I have 18 kids. I'm spread thin.
I work hard to visit with my children,
to connect with them, to do something with them that they like.
It's not always an easy connection.
Well, I am sitting here going...
Reflecting on what could have been done differently.
And what has happened to us?
What's happened to my life? What has happened to my purpose
and the things that I was pursing before?
'Cause I feel so distant from it.
And now Ysabel's moving as far away as she could.
-I love you. -Okay. I love you, too, Dad.
-Have a good trip. -Thank you. Bye.
[Ysabel] It's hard leaving not knowing when I'm gonna see him again.
Oh, my God.
-How you doing, love muffin? -Oh, my God.
I don't know when I'm gonna be back here.
Especially since we haven't really gotten to spend
as much time together as I think we both would have wanted.
Not knowing when I'm gonna see him again, it's really hard.
I'm sad I didn't to say goodbye to, like, Janelle and her kids
and Ari and Saul one last time.
[Christine] Yeah, that's rough.
[Christine] Ysabel moving is the hardest.
She's just moving so far
and I don't know when I'm gonna see her again.
Next month I'm going to be moving to Utah
and I don't know what that looks like.
And so I think half of this is everything is so uncertain
'cause my life is uncertain completely.
[Kody reading]
[Christine] My house is now under contract.
I just hope they don't hate me.
I am moving next week.
Congratulations. You're leaving the family.
Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this.
[Kody] We never made an agreement.
We never went to our church leaders and said,
"Hey, we're divorced."
You know, would they even allow us a divorce?
Usually you have to go ask for a divorce.
You know, technically until Christine is physical with another man,
she's not divorced.
[Christine] Being a mom is my most important thing.
I know without a doubt
I have tried to make this work,
but I couldn't stay married to someone who had favorites and made it known.
God.