Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man here,
and I've been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff recently.
CONNORS: Almost there.
This kinda heavy? No problemo.
Proportionate strength of a spider blah, blah, blah...
But the real heavy is what's going on with S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy.
Fury is still missing.
Rhino turned horn and betrayed us.
And Doc Ock sidelined Agent Venom.
Some leader I turned out to be.
I should win LVP, Least Valuable Player.
Be careful.
Don't wanna damage the power supply to my anti-Hydra weapon.
Anti-Hydra weapon?
Okay. A, nice.
And two, might wanna rethink the name.
Kinda obvious.
Whatever you say, Spider... Man.
Touche.
(MACHINE POWERING UP)
A-ha! Science success.
It took some work,
but this is the most powerful weapon
we have in our battle against Hydra.
Whoa! And you're keeping it here?
You realize that everyone and their mother's infiltrated the Triskelion at least once?
Sometimes twice.
SPIDER-MAN: What's this?
The weapon key. It can't function without it.
Put this somewhere no one would ever look,
even me.
Got the perfect place, maybe.
Guess I got to think this through. (BEEPING)
Huh? Ben?
Tell me you're on your way, punk.
Duh, I'm totally on my way to, uh, to where again?
Aunt May's birthday party.
You picked up the cake, right?
Sure did.
Sure didn't!
Sorry, Dr. Connors, gotta run, urgent situation.
Okay, Mission Cake, complete success.
Now let's get this party started.
(EXPLOSION) (ALARM RINGING)
Unless there's an emergency.
Hey, Shriek!
I'm not sure that's an authorized withdrawal.
How about I withdraw the breath from your body?
(GRUNTS)
Attack me all you want, just do not touch this cake.
Not the cake. Not the cake. Not the cake!
(GRUNTING)
Stop, you're putting innocent cake at risk.
That's funny, I thought you said cake.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(SONIC BLAST)
(SHOUTING)
(IN SLOW MOTION) Cake!
Just a little bump, cake's still good. (SHOUTS)
You did say cake! (SPIDER-MAN SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING) Enjoy your party, Spider-Man,
I'm outta... Whoa!
(GASPS)
No matter how fast you run,
I'll always be able to "ketchup".
See what I did there?
Not sure I'll be topping that joke.
One quick change later,
and I'm just your friendly neighborhood nephew.
(AUNT MAY GROWLING)
I got it, Goblin! J. Jonah?
Oh, Ben!
Hey!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Welcome to my Aunt May's.
Aka, the unofficial clubhouse for the Web Warriors.
Amadeus Cho, but you might know him as the Iron Spider.
Miles Morales calls himself the Kid Arachnid.
Ben Riley, named after my uncle, is Scarlet Spider.
And right now Flash Thompson is just Flash Thompson,
but when he is not injured, he's Agent Venom.
Oh, Peter, punctual as always.
Oh, Aunt May, you're gonna ruin my rep.
Oh, so you can face monsters and madmen as Spider-Man,
but not kisses?
Even on my birthday?
Hmm.
Oh, Peter, you're gonna ruin my rep.
(ALL LAUGHING)
So, now where were we?
(SOFTLY) You brought the cake, right?
Brought it? I fought crime with it.
We had a team-up together.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What? But... But if that's here...
Okay, I'll get this to the NYPD as soon as possible.
Think they'll give the cake back,
or will it be impounded as evidence?
Doesn't matter.
'Cause based on the fact that I actually know you,
I expected this. So...
Backup cake?
Backup cake.
Dude! Thanks for being someone I can always count on.
You're just lucky you have a cool aunt.
You really surrounded yourself with a good bunch.
And we wouldn't be here without you.
Happy birthday, Aunt May.
Thanks for always being there, no matter what.
And for making me feel at home,
even though I am not even from this dimension.
For taking me in when I got injured.
For helping me always look on the bright side,
even if it's illogical.
For giving me my name.
Oh! (SIGHS)
(SIGHS) I don't even know what to say.
Thank you truly, boys.
Oh, and Connors at S.H.I.E.L.D. got you a gift too.
Uh... Here.
It's wonderful. What is it?
Art. Very modern, very thought-provoking.
That's got to be the ugliest...
It's art. Art's not ugly.
I believe it is scientifically impossible for an object to be any uglier.
Look how we are already talking about it.
Thought-provoking indeed, I love it.
(CHUCKLES)
It would take May to find a way to love something that repulsive.
(WATCHES BEEPING)
Distress call, from the Triskelion.
Uh... Aunt May?
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go be heroes, my party can wait.
Let's go, guys!
Better let the rest of us handle this one, buddy.
Oh, man.
But you have to do the most important job.
Keep an eye on Aunt May.
You got it. No one will get past me.
Still nothing new over coms.
They're just transmitting the automated distress signal, over and over.
Be ready for anything,
this could be a massive attack.
(GRUNTS) Or one madman by himself.
Give it up, Ock!
You're between a web and a hard fist.
If you're smart, which you've told me a zillion times you are,
just turn yourself in.
Wait, are you turning yourself in?
(CHUCKLES) Ever the optimist, of course not.
I'm just here to reacquaint you with some old friends.
Electro, Rhino, Kraven,
Goblin, Hydro-Man,
I assume you can do the math, Spider-Man.
SPIDER-MAN: You did it. You put together a new Sinister Six.
Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not predictable.
Sinister Six or Sinister Sixty,
we can stop 'em.
Just lead the way, Spidey.
Last time I led a teammate into battle with Doc Ock,
they ended up in a wheelchair.
I cannot let that happen again.
What's the plan?
SPIDER-MAN: Retreat. (BEEPS)
Finally! Wait, what? (ALL SCREAMING)
This way.
We ran away! Why?
Just trust me on this, Scarlet.
KID ARACHNID: This is a major attack, what's wrong with all of you?
Wrong with us?
The distress call must have been faked.
He clearly got into our security systems.
And he's taken over our coms.
Who we talking about here?
Doc Ock and his new Sinister Six.
But I've got it under control, Fury left evacuation plans.
Let's move, people.
Didn't you hear? Time to go!
Squirrel Girl, pack up Tippy Toes' acorns.
Don't you get it, punk?
Look at them.
You brought most of them here. You made them into a team.
Now this is their home and they are not ready to abandon it.
Look, I don't have exactly the best track record
when it comes to taking on Ock directly. I...
Forget Fury's evacuation plan,
we need you to lead.
Can you do it?
DR. OCTOPUS: The day has come, my Sinister Six.
All that stands between you and everything you've ever wanted
is Spider-Man and his so-called heroes.
What are you going to do?
SINISTER SIX: Destroy them!
(ALL GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS) Like the insects they are,
they run when faced with the might of our boot.
We shall overrun their lair.
Lair? Who talks like that?
Oh, I know, megalomaniacal supervillains.
This is S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, where heroes are trained.
Come on, team,
let's show 'em what we've learned.
All right, S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy,
let's send Ock's Sinister Six packing.
(GOBLIN ROARS)
IRON SPIDER: Want sharp knives, Kraven?
Try sharp stingers!
(GROWLING)
SQUIRREL GIRL: Hey guys, could use a little help
against electric pants here.
(ELECTRO GRUNTS)
SQUIRREL GIRL: Thanks, Cloak.
(RHINO GROWLING)
KID ARACHNID: Ah! I did not miss this guy!
Miles, we trained for exactly this.
SPIDER-MAN: Look for Goblin's normal attack pattern.
One, two, three, four, five, now!
(ROARING)
Nailed it.
SPIDER-MAN: Not surprised...
Whoa!
I'm the mouse to this guy's cat.
His electrical blast will short out my armor.
Reroute your armor for offensive attacks and defend with the webbing.
It'll dampen the electricity.
On it.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTS)
Hmm?
(ELECTRO GROANS)
SPIDER-MAN: Who said I couldn't do this leadership thing?
(RHINO GRUNTING)
That was you, actually.
SPIDER-MAN: Sometimes I say stupid things.
(GRUNTS)
Rhino, why are we fighting, buddy?
You can't stand Doc Ock.
Must obey Octopus.
Oh, great, he has done a number on your brain, huh?
(GROANS) (GASPS)
(GROANING)
Must squash Spider!
Don't worry, Spidey, I got this one.
(CHATTERING)
(SCREAMING)
(SQUIRRELS CHATTERING)
Oh, no! Keep them away!
I trusted you, Rhino. But you betrayed us.
Were you Ock's spy the whole time you were in the Academy?
Was never a spy. Ock just used me to escape.
You weren't the spy? Then who... Ah!
Ugh. Wipe-out.
You look thirsty. Have a drink on me.
Thanks, but I think I'm pretty well hydrated already.
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING) Yeah. Nice try.
It's like punching a bath.
(ALL GRUNTING)
How can we fight something we can't hit?
We don't. Give him a trip, Cloak.
You can't run from an Elemental.
Why would we run...
...when we can teleport?
Welcome to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
(GROWLS) Gah!
Set all the traps you want, Kraven, we've got you.
Kraven the Hunter does not only set traps,
he is a trap.
You are only small game,
the Spider-Man is the real hunt.
You really need to get over this obsession with me, Kraven.
I already told you, Ock holds the number one villain spot in my heart.
Finally, the real hunt begins.
(KRAVEN GRUNTS)
Never been ported into a jail cell?
Then today is your lucky day.
Cloak, is it? Kraven planned a trap for you as well.
(SCREAMS)
(GASPING) What did you do?
An injured animal always wants to run away from its predator.
Now you can't control where you run to.
(CLOAK SCREAMING) (GASPING)
Where were we? We were done.
(GRUNTS) (GROANS)
How is that evacuation plan looking now?
You were right, we needed to fight for our home.
Nah, what we needed was your leadership, punk.
This makes up for the cake, almost.
SPIDER-MAN: Looks like we won!
Wait, where is Ock?
He wouldn't leave the battle unless he's got some other plan up his sleeve.
Yeah, but...
Oh, no! The anti-Hydra weapon!
Come on! That can't be its real name.
And who do we catch with his hand in the cookie jar?
Back up now, Ock.
And we'll only break a tentacle, or four.
(DR. OCTOPUS SNICKERS)
(BOTH GROANING)
Quiet please,
can't you see this is a delicate operation?
Keep at it, this force field can't keep us both out.
It is so you, Ock,
to use the Sinister Six as a distraction
to get your hands on this weapon.
My old friend Connors is a lesser intellect,
but I must admit he has exceeded his abilities with this creation.
Get this, Rhino wasn't the mole,
and Ock knowing about the new weapon proves it.
There's still a spy in S.H.I.E.L.D.,
don't trust anyone.
You're being paranoid. (GRUNTS)
Ah, force fields come, force fields go,
I have other defenses.
(GRUNTS)
Scarlet!
(LAUGHING)
(KID ARACHNID GROANS)
Miles...
Two Spiders down, time for a third.
(GROWLS)
I preferred fighting the force field.
(SHRIEKS)
Spider-Man, it was my destiny to come to this universe,
and destroy you.
You sure about that?
'Cause my fortune cookie said my destiny was not to be destroyed by a goblin.
(ROARS)
Okay, this is exactly what I told Kid Arachnid not to do.
Gotta focus.
One, two, three,
four, five, now!
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(GOBLIN GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
Just you and me, Ock. No more of your goons.
Aw, did you beat Goblin again?
No matter, he only needed to keep you occupied
while I claimed Connors' weapon.
And exactly how long do you think
I'm gonna let you hold on to that?
Long enough, at least if he has anything to say about it.
(HYDRO-MAN LAUGHING)
I'm back!
Spidey to the Academy.
Hydro-Man incoming, like big-time.
Do you read me?
(DR. OCTOPUS LAUGHING)
You realize, of course, that I'm still jamming
the S.H.I.E.L.D. communications grid?
They cannot hear you. (LAUGHS)
(RUMBLING) Huh?
(HYDRO-MAN LAUGHS)
We're in the impact zone.
Grab hold of something.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(GASPS)
SQUIRREL GIRL: Hold on, guys!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
You do know how to make an entrance, Hydro-Man.
Now secure the perimeter. Nobody in, nobody out.
Anything for you, Doc.
DR. OCTOPUS: According to my information,
Fury left you with an evacuation plan.
But you chose not to take it.
No, not when we can still fight.
Not going to give up.
Oh, yes. Thank you for that.
It was exactly what I needed for my plan to fall into place.
I personally had no faith you would be so careless
after what I did to your friend, Venom.
Pleased that I was wrong.
Years and years in search of your singular weakness,
I was starting to feel you did not have one.
Not when you had the heroes of Fury's Academy fighting alongside you.
That's right, my greatest strength isn't my powers.
It's the team that we built here together.
Indeed.
Tell me, do you trust this team of yours?
Of course, I'd trust any of them with my life.
Exactly as I thought.
Let's stop playing with our prey and finish this game.
(SCARLET SPIDER GRUNTS) (SPIDER-MAN GROANS)
Ben?
What? No.
Come on, punk. You're a smart guy.
Can't you figure out when you're being stabbed in the back?
(SPIDER-MAN GRUNTING)
Rhino wasn't the spy!
You were?
(SCOFFS) The genius finally gets it.
DR. OCTOPUS: We were never going to be the new Sinister Six.
No, we were always going to be more.
The Sinister Seven.
(SPIDER-MAN GROANING)
No, I don't believe it.
Ben, we're friends!
I told you when we first met,
I don't have friends.
Saving you from drowning, my sob story,
pretending to join your rag-tag team.
And now for the coup-de-grace.
Scarlet, please divulge to me Spider-Man's greatest secret,
his true identity.
(STRUGGLING)
I know you, Ben. I know you won't do...
(GROANS)
His name is Peter Parker.
Ah... Nice to finally meet you, Peter Parker.
(SOBBING)
(SHOUTS) No!