I have you now.
Die, peter parker.
Die!
Hand me the die!
You really take board games seriously,
Huh, mr. Osborn?
I know what you're thinking,
"what am I doing hanging out
With norman osborn, aka the goblin?"
Answer: I'm on a secret mission for nick fury.
[fury] norman osborn has supposedly been cured
Of his goblin problem.
But I want you to make sure that it's going to stick.
[roars]
No. I lost all my fin fang foom bucks.
I'm out.
Aw, come on, dad.
You two better practice, because next time,
I'm taking you down.
I've got a few things to take care of at the lab.
I'll see you boys later.
Uh ,you know what, harry?
I just remembered I'm supposed
To meet my aunt may at her
Yoga macramé cooking class.
So, bye.
[sigh]
Okay, norman.
What are you really up to?
Iron man?
[spider-man] is that iron man?
[beeps]
Iron osborn? That's complicated.
Looks like someone's been raiding the avengers' closet.
Shouldn't you be somewhere
Doing spider-things?
Well, depends, looks like I may need to be doing them here.
What'cha doing, norman?
Call me iron patriot,
And I'm doing something I should have done
A long time ago!
[coughs] this isn't good.
This is bad, right?
Osborn plus iron man plus captain america
Equals iron patriot?
[monkey squawks]
How can this get any stranger?
A hundred foom bucks says the cure didn't take
And norm's back to his old tricks.
Only this time he's biting off iron man
And captain america.
[spider-man] and he's hooking up with the frightful four.
Technically making it the frightful five.
So, how do we do this exactly?
Do I need to tell you to surrender,
Or is it just obvious?
Surrender? We were summoned.
Who are you? What's going on here?
It's a set up.
[yells]
Apparently, not obvious.
[grunts]
[groans]
He-- norman-- good?
Thundra failed the first part of the exam.
Any chance you gentlemen can do better?
Just try it, you iron cockroach.
[yells]
[grunts]
Sorry, hate to break up this l.A.R.P. Session,
But until I can figure out what's going on here,
Consider this party pooped.
Spider-man? We've been betrayed!
We're not stuck with him.
What's going on osborn?
I'm hearing words like
"betrayed" and "set up".
[cries out]
[grunts]
Not now!
Norman, do you even know how to fight these guys?
Klaw is sound.
Wizard is a technology buff.
Trapster spits glue,
And thundra is right behind you.
That's not a power.
[strains]
[grunts]
I don't know who you are,
But you're about to get a sound beating.
The name is patriot. Iron patriot.
I tried to pick a memorable name, bright colors.
Maybe these will these will make an impression.
[strains]
Time out!
Whoa!
Never mind.
[computer whirs]
[octobot] identify.
Unknown combatant.
The name is patriot. Iron patriot.
[octobot] combatant identified.
Norman osborn.
Whoa!
Who's going to pay for all this damage?
I don't make money doing this!
I'm-- I'm gonna be sick.
[strains]
You know what makes me sick?
Inferior product design.
Your technology is laughable, wizard.
[grunts]
Ever heard of a distraction?
[grunts]
Tick, tick.
[grunts]
Ow!
[cries out]
That'll teach you to mess with me.
Spider-man.
I-- I need your help.
[strains]
Osborn! Are you okay?
Trapster shorted my generator.
Power draining.
Get my back-up generator now or no oxygen.
If your batteries die you can't breathe?
Talk about a design flaw.
I can get you out of this.
No time. I'll fend them off. I need that generator.
But, you're not a super-hero.
I am now.
Looking for me?
[strains]
[cries out]
Whoa, hold on.
What about the whole no oxygen drama?
Wait. You used me as bait!
No, it was a strategy.
I just didn't want to waste time explaining it to you.
And that's how
We'll beat the frightful four.
Norman!
I said call me iron patriot.
There's a new hero in town.
[strains]
Not if you don't get down, now!
[both grunt]
[groans]
I hope you don't mind, spider-man?
I took care of these fools.
Do you have a pen or something? I'd like to leave a note.
Uh, time out. I'm a little confused here.
Not so long ago you were one of those fools, osborn.
Just cause you're rocking some sweet armor
And acting all hero doesn't get you a secret identity.
You think my armor is sweet?
Not exactly the adjective I'd use, but thank you.
And, it's no act. This is the future.
I am the iron patriot now.
A hero.
Allow me to retort. You used me as bait.
That's not heroic.
I don't have to answer to you, spider-man,
Or your shield masters.
Actually,
I think you do, goblin.
Do not call me that!
You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of, spider-man.
Au contraire, billionaire.
I know exactly what you're capable of.
Fury has trained you well
At adopting his own myopic viewpoint.
But he's afraid that I'll do his job better than he does.
I am not your enemy spider-man, not anymore.
I'm cured.
Didn't you see what I just did?
What we did together?
Power down and let's talk
So you can prove that you're not dangerous.
I don't need to prove anything to you.
Fury and shield aren't convinced
Of your turning a new leaf.
I am trying to do something good here!
See, that's sort of my point, osborn.
None of my other good guy b.F.F's
Shoot explosives at me.
A heat-seeking missile by any other name
Is still a pumpkin bomb, goblin.
[strains]
No! I am not goblin!
If you say so.
Hey, did you hear the one
About my new shock-webbing?
My suit is insulated from attack by electric charge.
Sure, but, as us science-types all know,
Electricity generates heat.
[alarms beep]
[cries out]
True, the bed bug infestation is a problem,
But new york's real bug problem is spider-man.
[grunts]
[crowd gasps]
I don't care what you call yourself,
I'm taking you in.
[metal groans]
[crowd panics]
Get them to safety.
I'll hold it as long as I can.
Folks, show's over!
Exit from your nearest exit.
Like anywhere but here.
[panic walla]
[strains]
So, how you liking new york?
Norman!
[metal screeches] are you for real?
Is this really the new norman osborn?
No,
This is the new iron patriot!
Give it up for the red, white and true, iron patriot!
Just look at him, his costume says it all,
100% hero.
Way better than fashion felon spider-man!
Okay, so let's just say for arguments sake you are cured.
Why run around like this?
Are you trying to reform your image in the press?
Because if it works, let me know how--
[sighs]
In my past life I did
Many dreadful things spider-man.
I was responsible for octavius's hiring of the frightful four,
Watching on as he unleashed them upon new york
And even my son's school.
I remember.
It was mashed potato and gelatin day-da-uh,
I read on squeeter.
You ruined everyone's lunch hour.
Taking out the frightful four
Is just the start of making amends.
I figured they were mad
Because you used them as bait for something.
You won't let that go, will you?
I'm trying my best
And I don't play well with others.
I just-- I want to be a better man.
A better father to my son harry.
I can only remember being caught speechless
Once in my life.
Everyone's gone? You promise.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
You're doing me a big favor. Now, try on the hat.
Aah! [sam screams]
[shudders]
Well, this makes for a big number two.
Wait, that came out wrong.
Wait! Wait for us!
[both pant]
I guess walking won't be that bad.
[thunder crashes]
Ugh. Classic.
[both pant]
You gentlemen could use a ride.
[osborn] so, you live in queens, right, peter? Driver--
No, that's okay,
Tonight I was gonna tutor harry in--
Harry needs a tutor?
Which class?
Uh, in all of them?
I'm sorry I haven't been around to help you with your homework.
I promise to be there for you from now on.
Really? That-- yeah, I'd like that, dad.
Is it just me, or is your dad--
I know. It's like he's a whole new person.
I don't know what happened,
But I guess everyone deserves a second chance, right?
Everyone? Including spider-man?
Let's not go crazy.
Spider-man's a maniac who ruined every part of my entire life.
You said everyone.
[sighs]
I suppose it's not impossible
That spider-man would get a second chance.
But, why do you care?
Why do you care?
I know this is going to sound crazy but,
Everyone should get a second chance.
I really think norman's trying to change.
I don't know what troubles me more,
Osborn flying around manhattan in un-sanctioned war armor,
Or that you couldn't be bothered to bring him in.
The jumbotron, the frightful four,
Using me for bait--
Well, uh, not that part.
They're all signs he's changing for the better,
You get my drift.
The only thing I see drifting
Is you off your mission.
[sighs]
Osborn's dangerous and must be brought in.
Nick, if we crowd him now, who knows what he'll do.
He and harry are at a real good place and--
Just do it.
Still spying on me?
Osborn, we got to talk.
Not now. Someone's been probing my security systems.
If it's who I think it is, I have to stop him.
You want to help?
Hmm.
Former enemies fighting side-by-side.
Wow, I guess we could--
Stay on mission, web-head!
[sighs]
Look, fury wants to--
No insists-- that he speak with you.
I know you won't go, so let the fighting commence.
You're right. Let's get this over with.
Excuse me?
I've got a lot of amends to make,
And fury might as well be the next.
Uh.
Speechless for a third time. I guess it can be that easy.
[doc ock] not so fast.
I am the first one you will make amends to, osborn.
And you'll do it with your life.
Well, so much for that easy?
Doc ock has a super spider army, now?
Did you know this?
No. I-- I--
Right, can we forget the whole
"I'm conflicted, and not sure if I can trust you"
Bit for a few minutes while we try not to get killed?
Yes, I think that would be prudent.
[spider-soldier hiss]
[spider-soldier roar]
[strains]
Ahh!
Great work!
You're frustrating them into making mistakes.
Is that part of your technique?
It's easier if I say yes, I.P.
Wait, that didn't come out right either.
What?
[spider-soldier hiss]
[spider-soldier roar]
That looks way too venom-atic to be good.
They're adapting to my attacks!
[grunts]
This is like fighting an army of rubber bands.
I'm running out of power.
Are you asking me to be bait again?
Because, I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider yesterday.
[electricity hisses]
No, I'm serious!
[alarms beep]
[grunts]
[strains]
My lab now!
[grunts]
A palladium power cell.
I have everything I need right here.
Back online.
Now, let's finish octavious before--
My spider-soldiers
Are an amalgam of venom-like drones
Combined with osborn's armor technology.
The best of both worlds.
I knew that. You heard me say venom-atic.
I never get credit.
They're everything you ever dreamed of, norman.
Dreamed of? What's he talking about?
These soldiers are norman osborn's brainchild.
I have simply realized his vision.
Osborn? Explain now!
It's true.
I once dreamt about creating an army
Of weaponized spider-soldiers.
But, it looks like octavius completed the work.
I-- I never dreamed that.
Enough!
I was starting to trust you.
Spider-man understand, ever since my conversion,
I've been trying to find a way to stop octavius!
Why would I possibly believe you?
Because if you don't,
Who will?
Hey dad, I knew you were working late so I got you a--
Dad? What are you wearing?
What is going on? Spider-man!
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
Unless what it looks like is not gonna freak you out.
So you're not attacking my dad with your-- your spider-army?
Um, these guys aren't with me.
Why would I possibly believe you?
I can put two and two together.
Oh, there's a lesson in jumping to conclusions in here somewhere,
Isn't there?
[grunts]
Thanks, guys.
I hate you, spider-man! Leave me and my dad alone.
[doc ock laughs] harry, you've got it all wrong.
Enough of your prattling. Destroy them.
Spider-man, get harry to safety.
I'll take care of the spider-soldiers.
But how? Just do it!
Get away!
Dad!
[spider-soldier snarl]
Harry, hit the lobby button.
[grunts]
[yells]
Say goodbye to your abominations, octavious.
[energy hums]
[brakes shriek]
[both strain]
This is bad!
[grunts]
This is really bad! Harry, listen!
You have to jump out of this car with me,
It's the only way we're going to survive!
My dad. Harry!
I'm not listening to you!
This is your fault! You ruin everything.
Save yourself. It's what you're best at.
Harry I'm not leaving you!
Whether you like it or not you're my best--
[metal shrieks]
Did I do that? Apparently not.
[strains]
[harry screams]
[grunts]
Harry, you're--
Get away!
You tried to kill me and my dad.
No, son.
Spider-man is helping us.
He's always been helping us.
[stutters]
Speechless. Fourth time.
Really? I-- dad.
[fury] all right, osborn.
Explain, and I want the truth.
If you could manage that.
Octavius stole the data on my iron tech.
It looks like he wants a second chance to destroy me.
Sorry if I'm skeptical,
But until you help us bring octavius to justice,
I'm keeping an eye on you.
I understand, fury.
I have a lot to make up for, and I will.
Wow, these second chances are harder than they look.
Thank you.
Wait, so we're all good?
Awesome.
So, now that I've been proven right,
About norman osborn turning over a new leaf,
How are we gonna celebrate?
Well, you did do a good job today.
What did you have in mind?
I can't believe you talked me into this.
Ah, come on, fury, it'll be fun.
Afraid to get beat by a kid?
[roars]
Ha! I win!
Woo-hoo!
Wow! Woo-hoo!
Enjoy it while you can, kid.
[beeps]
Yikes!
Believe it or not, for fury that's an improvement.