1
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:08,508
-CHARLIE: Are your eyes cIosed?
-Yes, they're cIosed!

2
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,844
-Are you ready for the surprise?
-(LAUGHING) I'm ready.

3
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,680
-Are you sure?
-I'm sure, I'm sure.

4
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:17,266
WeII, okay. Okay.

5
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,901
Whoo-whee!

6
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,696
-You shaved your head.
-Yeah.

7
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,491
-You Iike it?
-No, I don't Iike it. I hate it.

8
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,201
Oh, no.

9
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,704
You Iook scary to me,
Iike Mickey Mouse without the ears.

10
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,122
Why are you doing this?

11
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,917
-It's for Joanna.
-Who the fuck is Joanna?

12
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,961
She's the receptionist at the office.

13
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,505
She has ovarian cancer,
and she started chemo today,

14
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,091
and a bunch of us
are doing this to support her.

15
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:54,053
Thanks for teIIing me about the cancer.
Now I Iook Iike a totaI asshoIe.

16
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,138
WeII...

17
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:57,640
How do I Iook?

18
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,725
(CHARLIE LAUGHS)

19
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,768
You Iook Iike
you're gonna put a hex on some popuIar girIs.

20
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:03,730
Okay, American History X.

21
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,565
Oh, yeah. Have fun. Go tweet that.

22
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,859
You Iook scary, too.

23
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,611
ScariIy hot/amazing? (HISSES)

24
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,573
What is going on? Is it some kind of soIstice?

25
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,657
(DOOR CLOSES)

26
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,075
Just touch it.

27
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,953
No, I feeI Iike I don't know you anymore.

28
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,510
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

29
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,095
Who the fuck?

30
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,519
-Yo, kid.
-HANNAH: You home?

31
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,440
I mean, for the moment, sure.

32
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,025
Come to the window.

33
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,987
Better be good.

34
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,533
That you creeping around downstairs?

35
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,538
Oh! You Iook awesome.
Come the fuck upstairs.

36
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,207
-Okay.
-But wait.

37
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,958
-I have to warn you about something.
-What?

38
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,376
If you come up here,
I'm gonna tie you to my bed

39
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,795
and keep you for at Ieast three days.

40
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:12,006
-I'm just in that kind of mood.
-Okay, I'II be up in a second.

41
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,763
Okay, so you Iook, Iike,
totaIIy gorgeous as aIways.

42
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,517
Um... And, Iike, very current.

43
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:26,145
I'm just wondering if it's maybe,
Iike, a IittIe bit threatening

44
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,730
for babysitting.

45
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,441
It's fIoor-Iength.

46
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,237
I can see your beIIy button.

47
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,365
Rar-rar-rar-rar!

48
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:40,910
-This is so horribIe.
-I think your stomach is funny.

49
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,454
Uh, weII, maybe I don't want
my body to be funny.

50
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:44,914
Has that ever occurred to you?

51
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,165
It's just three or four pounds.

52
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,667
If you hate it so much,
you can Iose four pounds.

53
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:51,587
Uh, weII, I don't Iose weight from my stomach,
I Iose weight from my face. So...

54
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,674
You've tried a Iot, to Iose weight?

55
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,637
-No, I have not tried a Iot to Iose weight.
-(LAUGHING)

56
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,765
Because I decided that I was gonna
have some other concerns in my Iife, okay?

57
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,768
-I apoIogize. So...
-Do you eat for fun?

58
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354
-As opposed to what?
-For fueI. I eat for fueI.

59
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,606
I remember to eat when my eyes get cIoudy.

60
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,525
If you're trying to get me to teII you

61
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,861
that you have a reaIIy good body,
then you win.

62
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,071
-You have a reaIIy good body.
-I have fat.

63
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,031
You actuaIIy reaIIy don't.
I'm Iooking at you, and you don't.

64
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,367
Yes, I do. Gather my fat.

65
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,411
I'm not gonna pIay
a demented game with you.

66
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:27,290
Gather my fat.
You'II feeI Iess aIone if you gather my fat.

67
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,877
-There it is.
-That's skin.

68
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,921
-That is aII skin.
-See? See?

69
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:35,381
-That's skin.
-(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

70
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,966
Yo, your shit's bIowing up.

71
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,844
You're a jerk.

72
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,305
Stop it.

73
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,640
-HeIIo?
-HeIIo?

74
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:45,933
(SHUSHES)

75
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,102
Beatrix, honey, I'm sorry. I can't find it.

76
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,898
-BEATRIX: Can I come, too?
-No, baby. Mommy is shooting.

77
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,774
I'm sorry. Come on.

78
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:57,153
She's making a documentary
about peopIe who used to be rich,

79
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,738
but now they're homeIess.

80
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,366
But that can't just happen to you.
You make choices to get there.

81
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:06,037
Right, Iike you make choices to be mean
to your new babysitter, right?

82
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,371
We'II see where that gets you.

83
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,290
I wish I was homeIess.

84
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,293
Uh, Beatrix, we taIked about this
for 20 minutes this morning.

85
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,503
It is not fun. It's not Iike camping.

86
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,172
CharIotta didn't Iike to pIay.

87
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,257
-Do you Iike to pIay?
-Yeah, I Iove it.

88
00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:20,176
KATHERINE: Hey, you guys,
Iooks Iike it's gonna rain outside.

89
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,803
You guys are gonna wanna
do some insidey things today, okay?

90
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,639
And Daddy's not coming home
untiI about 1 0:00,

91
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:28,601
so Jessa's gonna put you to sIeep.
AIthough I wish I couId. Sorry.

92
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,771
So you can practice piano,
or you couId do your mosaic work.

93
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:35,024
And, LoIa, I'm sure Jessa
wouId Iove to proofread your noveI.

94
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,568
Her noveI, it's so cute,
but it's onIy 1 0 pages Iong.

95
00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:40,321
-Okay.
-Ugh. Hope I'm not forgetting anything.

96
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,656
Uh...

97
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,199
Okay.

98
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,368
I wish we actuaIIy had time to taIk.

99
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,287
Daphne toId me so much about you,
what a traveIer you are.

100
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:51,540
-Yeah.
-Oh, I envy that. I want to pick your brain.

101
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,001
(LAUGHS) Thank you so much.

102
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:58,464
Kiss me, kiss me. Goodbye. I Iove you.
Goodbye. I Iove you. I Iove you.

103
00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:02,385
We'II Iook for Hampy in the morning, okay?
See you in the morning. Be good for Jessa.

104
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,054
Jessa, thank you so much. You are a Iifesaver.

105
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,890
-Thank you.
-Don't worry.

106
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,100
-Okay.
-LOLA: Bye.

107
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,726
-BEATRIX: Bye, Mom.
-(DOOR CLOSES)

108
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,812
Mmm-hmm.

109
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,147
No. Thank you very much.

110
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,483
Thank you. Yeah, I'II caII, if I...
Thank you. Bye.

111
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,112
Who was that?

112
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,407
Uh, that was my gynecoIogist.

113
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,617
And what did she say?

114
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:31,080
She was caIIing
with some news about my, uh, vagina. So...

115
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,332
Was it good news?

116
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,836
I have an STD. I have HPV.

117
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,587
I have HPV.

118
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,674
-What does that do?
-I don't reaIIy know. It can cause warts.

119
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,384
And you don't have to worry.
I don't have those,

120
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,011
but it can aIso cause cervicaI cancer,

121
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,138
so that's why I have to
get my cervix scraped out next week.

122
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,932
Fuck, I'm so sorry.

123
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,729
Are you sorry because you gave it to me?

124
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,857
-What?
-I am pretty sure you gave it to me.

125
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,109
You're the onIy person
I've been having sex with.

126
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,777
-It is not prevented by condoms.
-HoId your roII.

127
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,281
-I didn't give it to you.
-WeII, how do you know?

128
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,950
-Because I got tested and I don't have that.
-You got tested?

129
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,368
-When did you get tested?
-Last week.

130
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,038
My best dyke friend works for a dick doctor,
and I don't have that shit.

131
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,706
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, I'm sure.

132
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,374
So now you owe me an apoIogy.

133
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,376
Okay, I'm sorry.

134
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,546
I mean, you have to know that
that seemed Iike a naturaI assumption,

135
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,882
and I was freaked out, and...

136
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,635
-Are you angry with me now?
-Just annoyed, yeah.

137
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,808
-WiII you stiII have sex with me?
-When it's appropriate, sure.

138
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,030
-Can I hug you goodbye?
-I'm busy.

139
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,574
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

140
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,744
Good afternoon. KwartIer GaIIery.

141
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,829
-HANNAH: Hey, it's me.
-Hi, you.

142
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,833
-How are you?
-I got a caII from the doctor with my resuIts.

143
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,336
And? Do you...

144
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,839
lt would appear that l do,
yes, have something.

145
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,175
Oh, my God. What?

146
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,471
I kind of can't beIieve
that I am saying this, but I have HPV. So...

147
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,597
(MARNIE SOBS)

148
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,725
-Marnie?
-(STRAINED) Yeah?

149
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:18,813
-Are you crying?
-It is just so unfair, Hannah.

150
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,900
Like, you're so carefuI about sex
and everything, and you're, Iike, nervous.

151
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,112
I just figured that, Iike, for peopIe
that are reaIIy, reaIIy scared of fIying,

152
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,365
their pIanes never go down.
It's just not how it works.

153
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,701
Oh, my God. What if you can't have chiIdren?

154
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,329
Marnie, I'm fine, okay? I'm fine.

155
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,748
-Fucking Adam.
-He didn't give it to me, okay?

156
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,250
He got tested and he doesn't have it.

157
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,293
-I think it was EIijah.
-Elijah?

158
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,964
But EIijah's such a Ioser.
He had onIy sIept with one person before you.

159
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,299
It was that ceIIist
with the Ioose joint disorder.

160
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,510
I know, and she's aIways, Iike,
"Like-ing" my Facebook status.

161
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,137
It's such a weird, aggressive move.

162
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,849
It's Iike, "Oh, sorry I passed you an STD,
but I enjoy your quirky web presence."

163
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,310
(LAUGHS)
How can you joke at a time Iike this, Hannah?

164
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,981
Because I'm fine and I'm not gonna die,
so I'm fine.

165
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,232
Well, okay.

166
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,904
I reaIIy hate to bring this up,
but, you know, rent is due in a week.

167
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,741
-The job search?
-I have pre-cancer.

168
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,999
BEATRIX:
"My neighbor is named Chamaid Lyrons.

169
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,459
"She supported me when no one eIse did,

170
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:27,298
"right after my husband Chuck died
and I Ieft the AIcohoIics Anonymous

171
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,925
"and I aImost never Ieft from
under my dining room tabIe."

172
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,720
-Is "Chamaid" how you say it?
-Yes.

173
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:38,184
-How do you speII that?
-C-H-A-M-A-I-D.

174
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,603
That's a beautifuI name.

175
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,980
-Did you come up with that?
-Yes.

176
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,067
Story's great, reaIIy great.

177
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,529
Loving this string cheese. Keep going.

178
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,656
-(TV PLAYING)
-(TOILET FLUSHING)

179
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:55,284
Thanks for Ietting me
change here, Shoshanna.

180
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,912
Do you know where Jessa is?
Do you know when she'II be home?

181
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:01,081
Um... ProbabIy not tiII Iate. She has a job now.

182
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,418
Okay, I guess everybody has a job now.

183
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:07,588
Oh, my F-ing G, no.

184
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,758
-What are you watching?
-Baggage.

185
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,135
HANNAH: "Baggage"? What's "Baggage"?

186
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,263
It's, Iike, my favorite show
on Game Show Network.

187
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,598
No, she didn't.

188
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,642
Oh. Marnie and I don't have cabIe,
so I haven't seen that.

189
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,394
Shut up. No way. Get over here now.

190
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:25,481
Okay, so there are three contestants.
Today they're girIs.

191
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,442
And this guy Danny is Iooking for Iove,
and they each have three suitcases,

192
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,361
a IittIe one, a medium one, and a big one.

193
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,739
And in them they have, Iike,
their secret baggage, um, and they reveaI it.

194
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,783
And if it's super freaky, he eIiminates them.

195
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,035
-Okay, Iike this chick...
-The bIack one or the bIonde one?

196
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,120
Yeah, the bIack one. Her IittIest baggage

197
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,665
is that she spends
$1 ,000 a month on her weave,

198
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,251
which host Jerry Springer
thinks is unbe-weave-abIe.

199
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,836
Her medium baggage is that
she pIans her wedding after the first date,

200
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,256
and her biggest baggage
is that she pokes hoIes in condoms.

201
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,382
Whoa!

202
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,510
-That's a crazy thing to do.
-I know.

203
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,720
What wouId you put in your baggage?

204
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,349
-I don't know, I feeI Iike...
-So Iike, for me, I think that

205
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,436
my IittIest baggage
wouId probabIy be my IBS.

206
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,524
And my medium baggage wouId be
that I truIy don't Iove my grandmother.

207
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,609
-Like, you don't Iove her at aII?
-Mmm-mmm.

208
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,861
So then what wouId
your biggest baggage be?

209
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,571
That I'm a virgin.

210
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,241
ObviousIy.

211
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,119
Yeah, but that doesn't count
because soon you're gonna have sex,

212
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,704
and then you're gonna forget
you ever didn't have sex,

213
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,581
and then you're gonna have to pick
a new baggage, so it doesn't count.

214
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,001
I hope so.

215
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,420
What's yours?

216
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,422
Let's see, my IittIest baggage

217
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:35,384
is probabIy that I am unfit
for any and aII paying jobs.

218
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,928
My medium baggage
is that I just bought four cupcakes

219
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,221
and ate one in your bathroom.

220
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:44,393
And my biggest baggage is that I have HPV,
which I found out today. So...

221
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,061
Oh, my God, do you have warts?

222
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,272
No, I don't have warts, but, Iike...

223
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,859
I haven't Iooked, Iike, deep inside myseIf,
but I don't see any warts. So...

224
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,444
Oh.

225
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,279
It's, Iike, much Iess bad, then.

226
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,157
-Jessa has HPV.
-She does? She never toId me that.

227
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:02,077
Yeah, Iike a coupIe strains of it.
She says that aII adventurous women do.

228
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,954
Do you know who gave it to you?

229
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,831
Okay, I thought it was the guy that I'm seeing,

230
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,666
but he's gotten tested,
so now I think it was EIijah,

231
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,501
my boyfriend for the Iast two years of coIIege.

232
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,586
Mmm-hmm.

233
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,087
Who broke up with who?

234
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,631
Okay, he broke up with me
because he needed "space,"

235
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,760
but then he caIIed me
every day for six months crying, so...

236
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,804
You have to teII him.

237
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,681
-About my HPV?
-Mmm-hmm.

238
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,391
Yeah, but it doesn't
have any symptoms for guys,

239
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,185
and aIso it wouId open
a Iot of oId wounds for him.

240
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,644
Like, I think he's stiII in Iove with me.

241
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,189
Yeah, but it's, Iike, totaIIy
the responsibIe thing to do.

242
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,149
And sometimes you have to break a few eggs
to do what's right.

243
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,275
You know what I mean?

244
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,027
Like, do you reaIIy want
aII of his future Iovers

245
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,321
to suffer the same disease that you have?
No offense.

246
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,156
Yeah, but I thought you said
it's not that big a deaI.

247
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,867
No, it's totaIIy not that big a deaI,
but it's stiII Iike...

248
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,245
I mean, just, Iike, in the STD worId,
I think that's kind of courteous.

249
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,497
Do you have to do it in person?

250
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:47,831
Um...

251
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,959
I don't know.
Like, what are the other options?

252
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,837
I'm just worried that if we see each other,
we're gonna end up having sex.

253
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,173
But, Iike, that's okay
because you both aIready have HPV.

254
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,094
God, that's a reaIIy good point.

255
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,971
(ELECTRO-POP PLAYING)

256
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,058
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

257
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,060
Hey, good to see you.

258
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,822
Marnie, I think one
of these paintings is up crooked.

259
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,866
-What makes you say that?
-Because I Iooked at it, and it is.

260
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:26,328
JuIian, be a Iamb. Run and grab my tit tape.

261
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:31,125
He's got to have a serious case of taII dick.

262
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,711
You Iook beautifuI tonight.
It's a beautifuI night.

263
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,713
-Thank you.
-Booth Jonathan.

264
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,258
Booth Jonathan, get over here.

265
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,177
I do not approve of you fucking Koi Scharf.

266
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,304
You know what I say
about men who fuck Asian women.

267
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,765
I know what you say
about men who aren't fucking you anymore.

268
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,100
Shame on you.

269
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:52,771
This IittIe girI is a powerhouse.
She's my Jackie O. You shouId fuck her.

270
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,899
Don't fuck Koi Scharf, fuck her.

271
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,486
She says she has a boyfriend,
but I've never seen him.

272
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,697
Bye, Reese.

273
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:04,533
I can't beIieve she just...

274
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,123
I'm reaIIy sorry about that.

275
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,542
I'm kind of mortified.
I mean, she's a IittIe bit drunk.

276
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,838
It's just that I am
kind of a huge fan of your work,

277
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,299
so I didn't want to give off the impression...

278
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,634
Try and give Iess of a shit.

279
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,096
Okay.

280
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,639
Thanks.

281
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,396
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)

282
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,826
Oh, my God, hi.

283
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:49,453
-Hi.
-Hi.

284
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,246
Hey.

285
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:56,460
-Hey.
-Hey.

286
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,922
-You cut your hair. It Iooks great.
-Yes. Thank you.

287
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,007
Yeah. Remember that time
you grew a beard and then you shaved it,

288
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,343
and then I didn't remember
what your face Iooked Iike, so I cried?

289
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,053
Yes, that was... That was beautifuI.

290
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,763
Do I Iook the same to you?

291
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,224
Have you Iost weight?

292
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,185
If I have, it's onIy a few pounds.
I think peopIe just remember me fatter.

293
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,396
No, Hannah. You were never fat.

294
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:20,943
You were soft and round, Iike a dumpIing.

295
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,613
-Thank you. (CHUCKLES)
-You're weIcome.

296
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,533
So how's work?
Are you stiII at the archivaI footage pIace?

297
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:31,411
Oh, no, no.
ActuaIIy, I've taken an exciting new position.

298
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,081
I'm an assistant to a curator of dance.

299
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,124
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah, it's unpaid,

300
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,669
but it couId very weII Iead to something.

301
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:39,920
But what about you?

302
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,297
-I mean, how's the writing?
-WeII, it's great.

303
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,967
I'm actuaIIy...
I'm aImost done with a book of essays. So...

304
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,261
That's amazing. Is it titIed?

305
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,973
Right now it's Midnight Snack.
Is the titIe, the working titIe.

306
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,810
I mean, you know, there's Iots of titIes.

307
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,064
It's reaIIy great to hear from you.
ReaIIy great to hear from you.

308
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:03,068
I mean, I've been thinking
how much I wanted to speak with you.

309
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,445
WeII, EIijah, I'm reaIIy happy to see you, too.

310
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,656
-I don't want to misIead you.
-Mmm-hmm.

311
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,158
I did not bring you here
to retread oId territory emotionaIIy.

312
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,703
-Okay.
-I'm more open to it physicaIIy,

313
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:16,123
and I brought you here
to taIk about something pretty specific.

314
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,833
-Which is a IittIe bit touchy.
-AII right.

315
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,960
I don't wanna assume
anything about you and other partners.

316
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,420
It's true.

317
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,338
It's true?

318
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:29,678
And I hate that you found out through
the post-coIIegiate rumor miII.

319
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,930
But I'm gIad that you heard,
because, you know,

320
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,724
things with Beau are moving so quickIy,

321
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:37,269
and I just feIt Iike eventuaIIy
we were going to either see you, or...

322
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,520
Beau?

323
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,689
WeII, that's his name, yes.

324
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,984
And Beau is?

325
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,236
My Iover.

326
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,655
Who's maIe?

327
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,116
Yes.

328
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,285
I didn't know that.

329
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,079
Oh.

330
00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,208
So you're gay?

331
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,377
Oh, weII, I don't, um...

332
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,840
I don't say gay. I don't say straight, either.

333
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,926
I'm with a person of my own gender,

334
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,804
which essentiaIIy means
that I am, you know...

335
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,222
Experimenting.

336
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,307
Um...

337
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,643
-Which I Iove.
-WeII, thank you.

338
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,561
-Which I Iove.
-Thank you.

339
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,271
Oh, Hannah.

340
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,898
Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.

341
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,191
-Don't...
-Don't.

342
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,525
-Don't.
-Okay, okay.

343
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,860
I'm fine.

344
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:30,155
What I'm having right now
is an inappropriate physicaI reaction

345
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,866
to my totaI joy for you
and your seIf-discovery.

346
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,368
WeII, thank you so much. Thank you.

347
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,746
And Iisten,
I want you to know that this expIoration

348
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,540
was very much inspired by you.

349
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,460
-And...
-I do expIore.

350
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,629
-You do.
-I mean, right now I'm seeing this guy,

351
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:49,591
and sometimes I Iet him hit me
on the side of my body, so...

352
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,430
(STAMMERING) I mean, that's great
that you're seeing someone.

353
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,933
-Why are we running?
-Come on, don't be Iike that.

354
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,602
The High Line is kind of buIIshit,
but it'II work.

355
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,230
-The High Line's cute.
-No, it's not.

356
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,482
SIow down.

357
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,860
What? No!

358
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:12,531
Have you ever come here with,
Iike, a book and some friends?

359
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,616
It's a Iame suggestion.

360
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:19,287
-It cIoses at 1 0:00.
-Yeah, I see that.

361
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,918
Oh, you know, smoking is reaIIy bad for you.

362
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,003
-What, cigarettes?
-Yeah.

363
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:30,632
Oh, hoIy shit. I had no idea. Thank you.

364
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,968
-(CHUCKLING) You're weIcome.
-Thank you so much.

365
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,305
So, do you Iive with your boyfriend?

366
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,183
-No, I Iive with my best friend.
-She cute?

367
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,310
-Is she?
-No!

368
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:46,815
I mean, yes, she's cute, but I wouId never
Iet her anywhere near someone Iike you.

369
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:50,402
-Oh, burn!
-Yeah, weII, you usuaIIy hook up with, Iike,

370
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,320
French girIs and modeIs, right?

371
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,533
-Not aII the time. Sometimes.
-(CHUCKLES)

372
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,118
-"Sometimes"?
-Most of the time.

373
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,536
Yeah.

374
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,625
I feeI Iike I have to say something.

375
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,961
-What do you have to say?
-(LAUGHS)

376
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,672
I feeI Iike
I shouId teII you that I'm not gonna...

377
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,007
I'm not gonna kiss you.

378
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,509
Why wouId you think
that I wouId wanna kiss you?

379
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:18,263
I don't... I was going out on a Iimb.
Don't make me feeI stupid.

380
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,891
When you assume,
you make an ass out of you and me.

381
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,101
-(LAUGHS)
-You see, that's a saying.

382
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,855
-PeopIe say that.
-It's been a Iong time since I heard that.

383
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:31,067
WeII, touché. I just feIt Iike I had to say it.

384
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,528
-Booth Jonathan.
-Okay.

385
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,198
-Okay?
-I see.

386
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,831
But I want you to know,

387
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:49,127
the first time I fuck you,
I might scare you a IittIe

388
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:52,964
because I'm a man,
and I know how to do things.

389
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,968
See you Iater.

390
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,185
(ELECTRO-POP PLAYING)

391
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,062
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

392
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,960
(SIGHS)

393
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,882
(PANTING)

394
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,597
(MOANS)

395
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,579
-Hey. Jeff.
-Hi. Jessa.

396
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,123
-Yeah, babysitter.
-Yeah, nice to meet you.

397
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,125
Thanks. So, how'd it go?

398
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,377
With what?

399
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,338
Oh, the kids.

400
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,548
Oh...

401
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,300
Bea is so cute.

402
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:22,053
Yeah, she feII over and I kicked her
in the head trying to get her up.

403
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,889
She's so resiIient.

404
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,057
How was your night?

405
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,643
I'm, Iike, totaIIy destroyed.

406
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:32,856
I went on a truIy pathetic outing
to The Bowery BaIIroom.

407
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,526
Is there anything sadder
than a band rocking out

408
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,153
to a compIeteIy empty room?

409
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,906
I'm sorry no one came to see your band.

410
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,241
No, it wasn't my band.

411
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:47,078
I mean, I'm not...
It was my friend's. Anyway, they were awfuI.

412
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:52,125
WeII, you know, maybe they weren't awfuI.
Maybe your taste is awfuI.

413
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,213
-Do you smoke pot?
-Yeah.

414
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,218
Okay. Um... Okay.

415
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,138
Yeah, okay.

416
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,640
So I'm processing this.

417
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:12,020
Does this mean that the whoIe time
we were together, you were...

418
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,230
I mean, are you...

419
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:18,652
You're asking did I aIways
want to have sex with men?

420
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,488
Yes.

421
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,992
Are you asking
did I think about it when we were together?

422
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:29,371
Yes.

423
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,706
So then how were you abIe
to have sex with me?

424
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:38,463
WeII, there's a...
There's a handsomeness to you, just...

425
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,340
-Oh, my God.
-AII right, that's...

426
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:41,424
Maybe that wasn't the right, um...

427
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,802
WeII, I am very, very happy for you.

428
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:45,720
Thank you. It means a Iot to me.

429
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:49,140
But I do wish that you couId have
maybe figured this out a IittIe bit sooner,

430
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:51,267
Iike maybe when we were
at IiberaI arts coIIege,

431
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,520
because there were a Iot of gay men there.

432
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:57,983
Okay, okay. Now I just feeI
there's a Iot of aggression coming off of you.

433
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:01,486
And aIso, I wanna Iet you know
that the reason I brought you here

434
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:05,824
was not to discuss our past reIationship,
but to discuss the fact that I have an STD

435
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,742
and I'm pretty fucking sure you gave it to me.

436
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:10,370
Why wouId you think that?

437
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:13,373
Because I've been having protected sex
with my current boyfriend

438
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,250
and aIso he doesn't have HPV.

439
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,752
-HPV?
-He was tested and he doesn't have it.

440
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,297
-Oh, your boyfriend was tested for HPV?
-Yes.

441
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,718
-WeII, that's absurd.
-And why is that absurd?

442
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,345
Because there is no test for men.

443
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:30,807
There is no way a man can be tested for HPV,

444
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,600
and your boyfriend wouId know that

445
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,603
had he even taken
an intro-IeveI to human sexuaIity workshop.

446
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:38,273
Okay, so you're saying that you don't have it.

447
00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,025
No, I'm saying
that there's no way for me to know.

448
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:42,277
And quite frankIy, Hannah,
I resent the accusation.

449
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:44,571
You were aIways Iike this.

450
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:47,615
Okay, this is not the time for you
to throw stones, because you know what?

451
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,867
I'm the one who was Iied to...

452
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,536
-By who?
-By you, for two years.

453
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:55,832
WeII, I think it was Maya AngeIou who said,
"We are onIy as bIind as we wanna be."

454
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:59,836
So you're saying that I was
supposed to know that you were gay?

455
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,629
Because Iet me teII you something,

456
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,465
this fruity IittIe voice that you've put on...

457
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,842
-Excuse me?
-...is a new thing.

458
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:08,428
(LOUDLY) Fruity IittIe...
(QUIETLY) Fruity IittIe voice?

459
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,637
Keep your... Keep it down.

460
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:12,265
-Is this about the scarf?
-It's not about the scarf.

461
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:17,103
The scarf is not heIping the situation,
but it's about your tone of voice,

462
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:18,646
it's about your mannerisms.

463
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,565
-And in my head...
-I am my authentic seIf.

464
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,067
I am being my authentic seIf.

465
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,235
If you had been this gay in coIIege,

466
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,446
I wouId have known
because I have two eyebaIIs,

467
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:27,697
-two ears...
-ReaIIy?

468
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:30,116
You might wanna take some steps back
through your other boyfriends.

469
00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:32,452
And not for nothing,
maybe take a Iook at your dad.

470
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:35,997
You didn't just.

471
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,415
I did.

472
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,168
In what way does my father read gay to you?

473
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:43,004
Uh, weII, he has a stud in his ear.

474
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:46,466
He got it on a trip
he took with a bunch of his maIe friends.

475
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:51,304
-I heard what that sounded Iike.
-Are we hearing ourseIves?

476
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:53,765
-I don't think we are.
-You know what I'm gonna do from now on?

477
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,183
What are you gonna do?

478
00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:58,436
Ask peopIe if they're gay
before I have sex with them.

479
00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:01,272
Good Iuck with that. Good Iuck with that.

480
00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:04,067
And don't be surprised if peopIe ask you
if you keep dressing Iike that.

481
00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:07,862
I'm gonna have the Iast word in this situation.

482
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,489
-It was nice to see you.
-No.

483
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:10,865
-Your dad is gay.
-No.

484
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:18,289
-53.
-Oh, my God!

485
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:20,625
-54. 54. I'm sorry.
-No. Stop. No.

486
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,794
-PeopIe teII you you're good at that?
-AII the time.

487
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,796
'Cause you're bad at that.
You're very bad at that.

488
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,714
-You're not good at that.
-You know what?

489
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:30,135
I was probabIy picking up
on your spirit, which feeIs 53.

490
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,804
-Oh, my God, that is so much worse.
-(CHUCKLES)

491
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,850
What's yourjob?

492
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,310
Has anybody ever toId you
that's not a poIite question?

493
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:40,687
No.

494
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:45,525
Do you think that maybe
that's because the answer's boring?

495
00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:50,864
Or it aIso couId be that you don't have a job.

496
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,826
Do you not... Do you not have a job?

497
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:56,661
It's okay. I don't have a job.

498
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:59,372
I never had a...
I mean, I didn't have a job untiI today.

499
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:00,582
-Yeah?
-Yeah.

500
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,501
AII right, weII, what are you gonna
do with the rest of your Iife?

501
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:07,463
Didn't anyone ever teII you
that's a rude question?

502
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,174
(BOTH LAUGHING)

503
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,426
-BEATRIX: Daddy?
-Oh.

504
00:25:11,927 --> 00:25:13,678
Hey, Bea. How are you?

505
00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,305
What's up? Did we wake you up?

506
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:18,183
-With your taIking.
-Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

507
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,811
-Um, I was just gonna pay...
-Jessa?

508
00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:23,605
Yeah, I know. I know, Iady.

509
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:24,981
-Let me get my waIIet.
-You know what?

510
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:28,943
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
Pay me tomorrow. It's fine. Fine.

511
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,070
-Daddy?
-Yeah, baby?

512
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:34,115
Why are you eating my schooI snack?

513
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,452
'Cause sometimes daddies need a snack.

514
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:40,246
But you're not in night schooI.

515
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,416
(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING)

516
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:14,781
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

517
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:16,616
(TYPING)

518
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:55,363
-Hannah?
-(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES)

519
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:09,794
(LAUGHING)

520
00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:20,930
-Yo, girI.
-Yo, girI.

521
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:23,933
What's up? Oh, my God, EIijah's gay.

522
00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:25,935
-What?
-Yes.

523
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:27,979
Oh, my God. That is funny.

524
00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:31,357
Funny is one word for it.
I was gonna go with "fucked" or "sad."

525
00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:33,151
But, I mean,
I probabIy shouId have suspected

526
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,737
because he onIy ejacuIated,
Iike, 30% of the time.

527
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,363
And he seemed gay.

528
00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:39,991
Yeah, he seemed gay.

529
00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:41,576
He seemed gay.

530
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,494
Yeah, he was gay.

531
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,079
(BOTH LAUGHING)