1
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:42,961
Ah!
2
00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:27,964
I don't get
why you won't just come to dinner.
3
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,674
You're gonna have to see her eventually.
4
00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:32,927
Actually, no. I won't.
I never get when people say that.
5
00:01:33,011 --> 00:01:35,054
We live in a huge sprawling metropolis
6
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:38,308
where it's very, very easy to avoid
the person you don't want to see.
7
00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,935
- Forever.
- Yeah, but that's so sad.
8
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:43,855
Why? Because we once shared
true and stunning intimacies
9
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,940
and now we're nothing more than strangers?
10
00:01:46,024 --> 00:01:48,067
- Exactly.
- That's not sad, Hannah.
11
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,820
That's called life, okay? Everything dies.
12
00:01:50,904 --> 00:01:52,697
I don't want to hear about this again.
13
00:01:52,781 --> 00:01:55,366
What's sad to me is the fact
that you're still working here,
14
00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:57,202
muddying the waters
of my new establishment.
15
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,704
- That's sad.
- You begged me.
16
00:01:59,788 --> 00:02:01,456
You said I was your Squeaky Fromme.
17
00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:03,416
I never used those words.
18
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,001
- Mmm. Hi.
- Hi.
19
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:06,169
What are you doing here?
20
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,796
I dropped my keys down a subway grate.
21
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:10,715
- Oh, hey, Ray.
- New apartment is working out great.
22
00:02:10,799 --> 00:02:12,550
Oh, great, great. Great, good. Yeah.
23
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,469
Did you meet my neighbor Nancy?
She's a fuck...
24
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,682
- You okay?
- She's a pistol.
25
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:21,768
Hey, can I get the keys out of your pocket?
26
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,728
- I left the oven on.
- What's going on?
27
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,897
Adam?
28
00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,399
Adam.
29
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:31,402
- Who is that?
- I don't know.
30
00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:34,197
- Who is that?
- I don't know anybody here.
31
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,282
Well, you're not looking at them,
so how can you know them?
32
00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:39,369
Fucking going. Come over here.
Get over here.
33
00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:41,246
Okay, well, she's coming over.
34
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,790
You big, tall, dumb slice of dog shit.
35
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,126
Hey, hey. Hey, Natalia.
36
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:51,464
Look at her. Look at this angel.
Look what you did to her.
37
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:54,425
She looks good to me. Very pretty.
38
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,177
- She's changed.
- I don't want to do this, okay?
39
00:02:56,261 --> 00:02:57,720
I don't want to do this. Let's just go.
40
00:02:57,804 --> 00:03:01,599
Oh, no, no. We cannot go, no.
No, this man jilted you.
41
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:05,979
You, a saint. He said he loved you
and then he just never called you again.
42
00:03:06,062 --> 00:03:11,526
Yes, I know. I know.
And I am very sorry about that.
43
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:18,867
I just didn't understand
44
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:21,661
for, like, a few weeks, you know,
that it had really happened.
45
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:25,123
I know. I know. And I'm sorry.
46
00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:29,210
I just kind of thought that
you'd come back with an explanation.
47
00:03:29,294 --> 00:03:30,628
I don't even know why I wanted one.
48
00:03:30,712 --> 00:03:32,005
Our whole thing was so fucked anyway.
49
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:34,257
- I just...
I, um...
50
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:38,636
I have, uh, trouble with confrontation.
51
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:43,057
Okay, well, maybe she has trouble
being fucked like a piece of meat
52
00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,560
and being told that she's all you need.
53
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,812
All right, guess what? She's pregnant.
54
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:51,941
Okay? She's pregnant with your child.
55
00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:55,570
What you put in her, it made a baby in her
56
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,405
and now she's pregnant.
57
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,908
How does it feel to abandon your son?
58
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:02,452
- What?
- Yeah.
59
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:05,246
Feel it. It's yours.
60
00:04:05,705 --> 00:04:08,291
It's fucking yours.
61
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:10,585
- That's right.
- No, I'm not.
62
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:11,961
- That's right.
- Okay, I am not pregnant.
63
00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,255
- But you could be.
- Fucking shit.
64
00:04:14,339 --> 00:04:16,424
You completely could be
impregnated by this donkey
65
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:18,760
and he'd never know
'cause he fucking disappeared.
66
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:21,596
- You are a donkey.
- Okay, I think, Hannah, it's time for us to go.
67
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:22,764
Hannah?
68
00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:25,266
This is Hannah?
69
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,310
- This... This is Hannah?
- Did you leave in a rush?
70
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,772
It's really nice to meet you, Hannah.
71
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,065
Hi.
72
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:34,400
Wow. So you know
what you have on your hands here, right?
73
00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:37,195
You know?
You know that you have an off-the-wagon,
74
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,990
Neanderthal, sex addict, sociopath
who's gonna fuck you like he's never met you
75
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,451
- and like he doesn't love his own mother?
- His own mother.
76
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,287
And then you're gonna turn around and cry,
'cause that's what you do.
77
00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:47,872
Does he like to eat you out from behind?
78
00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,207
Does he bite your neck?
79
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,334
Does he sound like a dying dog
when he's fucking you
80
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,835
and he shoots his cum all over the place
81
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:54,295
- like it's goddamn confetti?
- Uh, we're in public.
82
00:04:54,379 --> 00:04:56,506
- Fucking in my hair.
- Babe, you're better than this.
83
00:04:56,589 --> 00:04:58,424
I had to get
a goddamn blowout after I left.
84
00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:00,093
You know what? You're right.
Let's just get out of here.
85
00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:01,219
You know what? I hope you two...
86
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,638
You should just enjoy your urine-soaked life
87
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,015
fucking like the two feral animals
that you both are.
88
00:05:06,099 --> 00:05:08,351
You're gonna end up with a baby
that you don't know how to care for.
89
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,978
- You're gonna fucking kill your kid.
- It's gonna die.
90
00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:12,689
- You're gonna give it spoiled formula.
- Dead. Gross.
91
00:05:12,772 --> 00:05:14,649
You're not gonna get any milk
out of those tits.
92
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:17,485
I just hope that you two
enjoy the fucking life that you've chosen.
93
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:20,071
And we, we're not paying the check. Thanks.
94
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:23,533
And we're not paying the check. Thanks.
95
00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:25,243
It's on the house.
96
00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:28,913
I really like that blonde one.
97
00:05:28,997 --> 00:05:30,373
So feisty.
98
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,750
Feisty shiksa.
99
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,346
You don't understand how hard it is
100
00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:46,597
to get to this place.
101
00:05:46,681 --> 00:05:48,266
I didn't get here overnight.
102
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:51,227
I did a lot of self-work. I did charity work.
103
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,147
I worked on my body. I worked on myself.
104
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,940
You have to work hard to move on.
105
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,776
I am, okay? How do you not think I'm trying?
106
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,572
I've changed my whole life.
I'm doing everything differently.
107
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,782
Why are you being like this?
Why are you yelling at me?
108
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:08,828
Because I am fucking sick
of talking about him.
109
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:12,457
He is just the first of 20 guys
who is gonna fuck you over.
110
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,168
That's just what guys do.
Why focus on this one?
111
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:19,881
It's not like he was Liam Hemsworth
or Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum
112
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,133
or, I don't know, Jan-Michael Vincent.
113
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,386
I thought I was gonna spend my life with him.
114
00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,597
You of all people
should know what that's like.
115
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,766
It's hard and it's scary.
116
00:06:29,849 --> 00:06:32,977
We don't get scared. That's not our style.
117
00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:36,105
I gave you my middle name, Marie,
118
00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:38,900
because it has a legacy of strength
and independence.
119
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,193
Yeah, you know what else it has?
120
00:06:40,276 --> 00:06:43,196
Only one letter differentiates it
from my first name.
121
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:44,489
- Which is really weird.
- Oh!
122
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:48,743
Mom, I go into the city to work every day
at a job where I am respected.
123
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:53,456
I have friends. I'm getting a new apartment.
I've already fixed everything.
124
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,708
Oh!
125
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,431
Yo.
126
00:07:10,515 --> 00:07:11,599
Marn, where were you? I have a meeting.
127
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,184
I know. I'm sorry. It was my fucking mom.
128
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,061
- Okay, I'm sorry. I love you.
- I love you, too.
129
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,771
- I'm sorry.
- Fine.
130
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:41,337
Hi, I'm Kelvyn and, uh, I'm an addict.
131
00:07:41,838 --> 00:07:45,883
I'm having some issues with change.
132
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:49,887
You know, the first three years
that I lived in New York,
133
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:53,808
it was magic. It was just pure magic.
134
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,478
I mean, it was like my block
was like a Fellini movie.
135
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:01,149
But one that you would
actually want to watch.
136
00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:03,484
Just the characters that you would see.
137
00:08:03,568 --> 00:08:07,530
I just miss the way that I would just
go to the fucking corner
138
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:10,575
to see what Brenda, the guy with the flattop,
was doing, you know?
139
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,870
And Brenda's not there anymore.
140
00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:16,706
That whole world
isn't there anymore.
141
00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:19,959
They're all gone.
142
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:24,547
Hey, hey. It's not your fault.
143
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:27,216
Yes, it is. It's my fault.
144
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,010
Mindy. Mindy.
145
00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:33,431
Let's touch with our hearts, not our hands.
146
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:39,312
What does Kelvyn's share
bring up for you, Jessa?
147
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,522
Mmm?
148
00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:43,608
Nothing?
149
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:47,737
No, just how awkward it is watching everyone
try and get it up for each other.
150
00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:53,034
This guy's crying because
a FroYo opened up on his block.
151
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:58,706
He's trying to think of the saddest thing
he can think of and it's not that sad.
152
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:00,791
She's a bitch.
153
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:03,461
Mindy, try and stay in your experience.
154
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,796
She's a bitch. That's my experience.
155
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:08,466
That's good.
156
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,594
How long, Jessa, have you been using?
157
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,805
What do you want, Jock?
Do you want me to cry?
158
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:16,390
Is that what you want?
159
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:20,311
About how my dad
has been in rehab 12 times?
160
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,063
About how I don't even have his number?
161
00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:25,733
Or my mother, how she can't even
go to the bathroom on her own?
162
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:29,528
Or how alone I feel and without a life vest?
163
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,739
Is that what you guys want?
Because I can do it.
164
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:36,535
I'm really good at it,
but it's really exhausting and boring.
165
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:42,333
And, by the way, I figured my shit out already
when I was five years old, okay?
166
00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:47,296
Heroin is really fun.
But it can also kill you, okay?
167
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,548
- And Melvin over here...
- Kelvyn.
168
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:53,177
Kelvyn over here is a dark horse of society.
169
00:09:53,261 --> 00:09:55,596
- Not in a good way, my friend.
- Oh, fuck you.
170
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,348
He's not a dark horse.
171
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:02,561
Okay, let's talk about
Mindy "Methface" over here.
172
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:06,315
Mindy enjoys wearing scrunchies.
No one has addressed that.
173
00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:09,944
Scrunchies? I've never worn
a fucking scrunchie in my whole life.
174
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:11,654
You want to wear them, though.
175
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,781
How come no one has talked about this guy
176
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,491
and that he insists on being
called "Phred" with a "P-H"?
177
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:18,202
Jock, are you just gonna let her do this?
She's ruining everything.
178
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:19,787
She's running the group now.
179
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:21,122
She's in charge.
180
00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,748
She's not running the group.
181
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:24,792
I'm sorry. Shh.
182
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,088
Oh, Jessa. Jessa.
183
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:32,174
I don't know what else to say.
You're already on male ban.
184
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:35,803
Yeah, I know. This sign makes it pretty clear.
185
00:10:37,388 --> 00:10:38,556
Jessa,
186
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,101
how do you think you're progressing here?
187
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:43,978
You know, I think...
188
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,771
I think I'm doing really good.
189
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:48,649
I haven't done drugs.
Um, I've made some friends,
190
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:51,068
some really ugly friends,
and I don't even mind.
191
00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:56,991
You know, I'm only here because
it's what my grandmother would pay for.
192
00:10:57,325 --> 00:11:01,329
I do 60 days, and then she gets me
a plane ticket and rent
193
00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,539
and, um, actually, these boots that I want.
194
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:06,125
They're called UGGs. They're from Australia.
195
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,669
That's terrific.
196
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:12,089
All right, get your foot off my desk and go.
197
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,302
This stuff is amazing.
198
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:19,388
It's fantastic. You're really cranking on this.
199
00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:21,140
I'm so glad you're happy with it.
200
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,809
And I'm also, it goes without saying,
so glad you're not suing me.
201
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:27,355
Why didn't you tell me
you were suffering from mental illness?
202
00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:29,065
That's something we can work with.
203
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,067
I guess I was embarrassed
to tell you the truth.
204
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,234
- You were embarrassed?
- Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
205
00:11:32,318 --> 00:11:34,528
You were embarrassed?
You write about jerking
206
00:11:34,612 --> 00:11:37,573
a kidney stone out of
some Puerto Rican Jew's dick
207
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,450
and you're embarrassed?
208
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,577
Okay, I see an inconsistency.
209
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:44,455
- Seriously, this stuff is amazing.
- Thank you.
210
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:48,417
And I think we should
launch the first chapter on Nerve.com.
211
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:51,754
Honestly, any dot-com you want to put it on
is gonna be great by me.
212
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,839
- But I am gonna work you on this.
- Yes.
213
00:11:53,923 --> 00:11:55,424
- I'm gonna work you all night.
- Yes.
214
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,343
Are you ready for that?
Are you healthy enough?
215
00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,096
- Fully. 100%.
- You're not shitting me, right?
216
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:02,556
I could not be more ready.
And this isn't like the manic thing I say
217
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,975
right before I chop my ear off
and send it to you in the mail
218
00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:07,353
and blame you for my death.
219
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:10,147
Did you just bite the cup?
220
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:12,274
It's famous. It's a trademark. Try it.
221
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:16,570
That's what this place is famous for.
222
00:12:16,654 --> 00:12:18,280
I've been drinking from a cup this whole time
223
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:20,408
and I didn't know it was
made of pure chocolate?
224
00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:23,327
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
225
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:24,662
Oh, my God.
226
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,915
So my editor says my writing
is better than it's ever been,
227
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,917
which is really exciting and amazing
228
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,670
because it makes me feel like
everything that's been so terrible
229
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:36,340
and painful in the last few months
was leading me to this point, you know?
230
00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:40,594
And it's amazing to realize that
my only limitation is my own mind.
231
00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:44,932
Like, I hold the keys
to the prison that is my mind.
232
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:49,979
What would you say
are the main stressors you're experiencing?
233
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:52,523
Um, boring stuff like money.
234
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,525
- Money?
- Money's a tough one
235
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,819
because I still don't make enough
and neither does Adam.
236
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,155
He can only contribute
a very small portion to the rent.
237
00:12:59,238 --> 00:13:00,865
You know, whatever
he gets from his grandma
238
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:03,033
and selling things he makes
out of papier-mâché.
239
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,411
And what does he make
out of the papier-mâché?
240
00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:08,914
Is that important for you to know?
241
00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:12,001
It could be. It could be very important.
242
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,045
Well, I thought the session
was more about me.
243
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,923
Did he ever make a house? Dogs?
244
00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,216
Well, if you don't want to talk about it,
245
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:21,469
- perfectly fine.
- Okay.
246
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,805
Would you say that Adam's lack
of financial success
247
00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:27,099
makes you unhappy?
248
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,018
No, because he's like...
249
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:32,563
He's not a traditional person,
so he can't just be slotted into any job.
250
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,316
You know, you haven't met him,
but it's just like that's not...
251
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:38,527
That's not how he works.
Plus, he takes care of me.
252
00:13:38,611 --> 00:13:40,529
In what sense?
253
00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:41,655
Um, let's see.
254
00:13:41,739 --> 00:13:43,324
He makes sure I take my medicine.
255
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,326
- Good.
- He makes sure I eat protein.
256
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:48,704
- That's very good.
- He does this very kind of calming chant.
257
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,207
That's great. I used to chant.
258
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:58,255
My chanting, actually, has gotten me through
an awful lot of things.
259
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,801
Okay, what was your chant?
260
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,095
It's very private.
261
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:07,890
Okay.
262
00:14:08,474 --> 00:14:10,518
Yeah, so, it's been hard.
263
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:15,856
But I'm starting to recognize
that while I am a victim of circumstances,
264
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:19,985
I have a sickness
that someone else gave to me.
265
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,072
And when I remember that,
266
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,700
I don't want to huff lighter fluid anymore.
267
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:28,327
Oh.
268
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,246
Mmm-hmm.
269
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,332
Thank you so much, Laura.
270
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:37,044
I can't tell you how brave
you're being by sharing that.
271
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,212
Thank you.
272
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:47,388
I feel like you are using
being molested as an excuse.
273
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,765
Excuse me?
274
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:53,102
I'm really sorry that your uncle fucked you,
275
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:57,356
but at the end of the day, you know,
we've all been through a lot.
276
00:14:57,439 --> 00:15:00,609
We can't go around
blaming other people for our shit behavior.
277
00:15:00,693 --> 00:15:03,195
I just feel like you're being a bit whiny.
278
00:15:03,988 --> 00:15:06,657
I don't really
feel safe around her.
279
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,618
So aggressive. You're so aggressive.
280
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,912
Jessa,
281
00:15:11,996 --> 00:15:15,749
is there a way you can phrase this idea
that relates to your own struggle a bit more?
282
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,961
Yeah, you haven't once
told us anything about how...
283
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,505
What your feelings are about any of this.
284
00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:23,257
You know? It's not fair.
285
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:28,095
You're exploiting the generosity
that we've had with you showing our feelings
286
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:32,766
when you haven't once said
how you feel about how you have feelings.
287
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:36,270
Yeah, I dare you to tell us how you feel.
288
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:40,024
Okay, I feel like Laura might be gay.
289
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:41,942
What the fuck?
290
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:44,028
Hear me out, Laura, okay?
291
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:48,699
You hated having sex with your boyfriend,
even though he played hockey.
292
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,951
I never said that. I never said that.
293
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:54,371
And your vest.
294
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,876
Fuck you, hairstyle.
295
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:01,629
Jock, this isn't okay.
296
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,130
Yeah, it's not okay.
297
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,798
- Laura!
- She's not gonna come back.
298
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:07,968
You see what you've done?
That's what we call "provocation."
299
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,678
Everything's ruined.
300
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,221
- Laura!
- It's supposed to be a safe place.
301
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:12,473
Get me a napkin.
302
00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,266
- No.
- Don't give it to her.
303
00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:19,188
Do you think that 16 tacos
is enough for four people
304
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,106
if I also get a big bucket of ice cream?
305
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:22,983
Maybe I'll get two buckets of ice cream,
306
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,818
'cause Marnie's actually
someone who eats more ice cream...
307
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,197
I don't want to do this.
308
00:16:28,656 --> 00:16:30,157
Do what? Have dinner?
309
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,493
Have your friends over. I don't want to.
310
00:16:33,077 --> 00:16:34,620
Okay, well, you agreed to it last week.
311
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,914
Yeah, because I didn't think
it would actually happen.
312
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,332
You always bail on them.
313
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,335
I don't always bail on them.
They always bail on me.
314
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,670
Well, someone bails on someone.
315
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:46,048
Listen, if you want to see them, go see them.
But why do I have to be a part of it?
316
00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:48,884
Because you're my partner in life and love
317
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,011
and I want you to be a part
of everything I do on this earth.
318
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,431
But wouldn't you rather go to the taco
and ice cream shop with your friends
319
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,141
and come back and find me in a good mood
320
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,352
rather than invade our place
and get me all pissed?
321
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,521
No. No, I wouldn't.
322
00:17:00,604 --> 00:17:02,106
I don't make you hang out with
any of my friends.
323
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:03,941
You don't have any friends.
324
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,693
That's just fucking rude.
325
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:07,569
So is telling me you hate my friends
326
00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:09,530
like an hour before they're supposed
to walk through our door.
327
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:12,449
I don't hate your friends. I'm just
not interested in anything they have to say.
328
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:14,702
I'm not interested in
anything they have to say.
329
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:17,079
That's not the point of friendship.
330
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,664
And earlier, Natalia was saying that...
331
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:21,125
Are you really gonna bring up
what Natalia said?
332
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:27,214
I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
It's just we need some shared experiences.
333
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,882
Well, I'm not gonna
change into a different person
334
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,676
just 'cause you want me to.
335
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,638
You have to.
It's called "being in a relationship."
336
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:37,766
So you say.
337
00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:43,063
Are you allowed to smoke in here?
338
00:17:43,147 --> 00:17:44,231
I am.
339
00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,818
How do you get them to leave you alone?
340
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,403
I have a very respectable accent.
341
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,779
Yeah, but so do I.
342
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:52,698
You have the accent of a little girl
343
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:56,243
who grew up somewhere
between Heathrow and JFK.
344
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,704
My daughter's is similar.
345
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,080
How old is she?
346
00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:02,875
About your age, I guess.
347
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,502
Haven't seen her for a while.
348
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,838
Her mother hates me
and she takes after her mother.
349
00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:14,803
Do you know that today in group
some dumb bitch threw coffee in my face?
350
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,556
All because I told her that she's a lesbian.
351
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:19,767
I did her that favor.
352
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:23,812
I just got to it quickly rather than this bullshit
of everyone tiptoeing around it
353
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,731
and just told her she's a raging fucking dyke.
354
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,775
Dyke or no dyke,
355
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:29,276
people have to come to things
in their own time.
356
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,237
Now, you have to learn
when honesty is righteous
357
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,240
and when honesty is
nothing more than a party trick.
358
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,412
You're a real shit
for not knowing how old your daughter is.
359
00:18:40,496 --> 00:18:44,374
Right, filtered through the kaleidoscope
of your own daddy issues.
360
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,878
- I do not have daddy issues.
- Please, we all have them.
361
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,881
Now, periodically, if you can,
362
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:56,136
take time to reflect on the daddy issues
that your daddy had with his daddy,
363
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,639
and his daddy with his daddy,
and his daddy before him
364
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:02,226
and every daddy that's been
going on daddying before that daddy.
365
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,353
I know you know this. You're quite wise.
366
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:07,105
You know nothing about me.
367
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,274
Wisdom comes from experience.
368
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:12,903
And I suspect you've had many,
many experiences.
369
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,447
Too many, probably,
for someone of your age.
370
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,574
I've had fun.
371
00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:20,244
But it wasn't always fun, was it?
372
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:24,498
No.
373
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,091
Yodels.
374
00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:37,135
Yodels.
375
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,556
What do you want?
376
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,391
To apologize.
377
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,017
To me?
378
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,102
Yes, you.
379
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,646
I don't want you to be mad at me.
380
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,691
I would hate if you hated me.
381
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,111
Okay, whatever.
382
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,405
And I'm sorry for your uncle fucking you.
383
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,283
And, uh, I'm also sorry
384
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,869
that you've been through a lot
and I understand.
385
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,288
I said, whatever.
386
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:10,252
I guess I don't need this in here.
387
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:14,673
I had a weird uncle. He was gay,
388
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,718
but he also said a lot of awful things to me.
389
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:22,097
I was the first person he told
that he had AIDS and I was five.
390
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:24,516
Did you know what AIDS was?
391
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:28,562
Yes, and I don't know how.
392
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,273
But the point is,
is that I also feel like a victim.
393
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,150
Often.
394
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,197
I am a lesbian.
395
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,782
I think.
396
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:45,037
But I still don't like when people
tell my business out in public.
397
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:48,081
And I don't like to freakin' play sports.
398
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:52,753
People always think "lesbians like sports."
And it's like, what?
399
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:56,465
I'm like, worried if I tell anybody,
they're gonna ask me to do sports.
400
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,592
It's just... Ugh!
401
00:20:59,176 --> 00:21:00,469
Do you know how cool this is?
402
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:04,723
It's like I bet the minute that you accept this,
403
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,642
you won't ever want to do drugs again.
404
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,644
They were a placeholder for pussy.
405
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:14,733
Have you ever kissed a girl?
406
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:17,694
Basically,
it's the beginning of a somewhat
407
00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:19,738
sexually adventurous time for me.
408
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:24,785
I'm alternating nights of freedom
with nights of academic focus
409
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:28,789
so that at the end of my senior year,
I will have had both experiences
410
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:31,917
while also being super well-prepared
for the professional world.
411
00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:34,836
It sounds like a really good plan.
412
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,298
- It sounds smart and strong and feminist.
Mmm-hmm.
413
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,217
What do you think, baby? Good plan, right?
414
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,844
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I think...
415
00:21:42,928 --> 00:21:44,429
I think, um...
416
00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,099
I think what you think, pretty much.
417
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:48,433
I think it's really smart.
418
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:52,396
If you can avoid love and feelings
and matters of the heart and soul,
419
00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:54,022
- you will be so much better off.
Mmm-hmm.
420
00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:56,024
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
421
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,318
She's going through a breakup.
422
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:00,904
No, no, he's right. It totally is.
423
00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:02,906
I appreciate your candor, Adam.
I always have.
424
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:04,825
You're welcome.
425
00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:07,744
I sort of feel like Charlie's gonna just
materialize in a couple of months
426
00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:09,579
at some random fucking hospital
427
00:22:09,663 --> 00:22:11,415
and he's gonna turn out to be
one of those people
428
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,749
who has a brain tumor that makes him crazy
429
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:15,127
like that dude who had a tumor
that made him a pedophile.
430
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,796
And then once they medically
remove it or whatever,
431
00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:19,256
he's gonna go back to being normal.
432
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:21,008
It's not impossible.
433
00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,552
He could be the subject of
the next Oliver Sacks book.
434
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:25,929
I don't think so. I saw him.
435
00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:28,390
You saw Charlie?
436
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:29,683
Yup.
437
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:30,934
Why didn't you tell me?
438
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:34,271
You know, it just didn't seem...
We're not really friends.
439
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:36,606
- Did you know?
- No.
440
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:40,318
He did not tell me that he ran into Charlie
on Bedford Avenue.
441
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,862
- Did he ask about me?
- Of course not.
442
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:45,198
Yeah, actually. He said, "How's, uh, Marnie?"
443
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:47,325
What did you say?
444
00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,370
I said, "She's good. She's good.
She seems very clean."
445
00:22:50,454 --> 00:22:53,832
He said, you had a new job.
He said, you had a new boyfriend from Spain.
446
00:22:54,875 --> 00:22:56,752
Did he seem like he had a girlfriend?
447
00:22:58,462 --> 00:23:00,338
You all look very gorgeous this evening.
448
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,966
Thank you so much, my love.
Why don't we have some chips?
449
00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:06,678
I didn't buy these chips for my health,
you know what I'm saying?
450
00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:09,973
Marn.
451
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:12,225
I just...
452
00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:15,395
I'm so sick of crying because
this whole situation makes no sense.
453
00:23:15,479 --> 00:23:18,231
I mean, we bought the ingredients
to make grilled pizzas
454
00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:19,733
and we were going to make grilled pizzas.
455
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,985
And the day we were
supposed to do that, he left me.
456
00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:25,238
On what fucking planet
does that make any sense?
457
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:30,077
Cheers to your fucking book, Hannah, really.
458
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,244
Thank you so much. But, Marn,
459
00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:32,746
we're not gonna
talk about my book right now.
460
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:36,750
This isn't the appropriate time to discuss
my incredibly exciting professional endeavor.
461
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,752
No, it is the time. It's totally the time.
462
00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:42,047
We should also talk about
how fucking good this taco is. Huh?
463
00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:44,466
Am I right?
464
00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:48,428
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
465
00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:00,190
This is getting logged.
466
00:24:01,775 --> 00:24:04,152
When I was 22,
this Colombian girl dumped me.
467
00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:08,782
She was both Colombian
and went to the university, Columbia.
468
00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:11,326
And she was beautiful and she was smart
469
00:24:11,409 --> 00:24:14,079
and she was related
to Gabriel García Márquez.
470
00:24:14,371 --> 00:24:17,332
And just as fast as we fell in love,
she disappeared.
471
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:19,960
And I knew she had just used me.
472
00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:22,504
You know, she was an intellectual
and I was a thug.
473
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,464
And I just stared at the ceiling all day
474
00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:27,300
remembering the first time
we fucked on my couch
475
00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:31,721
in Sunnyside after a rainstorm on a Thursday.
476
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,682
Okay, I'm not a jealous person by nature,
477
00:24:33,765 --> 00:24:35,809
but I really hate this story.
478
00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:38,436
He's telling an incredibly beautiful
and romantic story.
479
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,313
Then one day
after being fucked up for months,
480
00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:42,482
I realized something.
481
00:24:42,566 --> 00:24:44,693
I didn't know her.
482
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,528
She didn't know me.
483
00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:50,157
Just because I tasted her cum and spit
484
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,284
or could tell you her middle name
or knew what record she liked,
485
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:53,660
that doesn't mean anything.
That's not a connection.
486
00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:55,328
Anyone can have that.
487
00:24:55,412 --> 00:24:58,790
Really knowing someone is something else.
488
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:01,376
It's a completely different thing.
489
00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:04,004
And when it happens,
you won't be able to miss it.
490
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,839
You will be aware.
491
00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:08,967
And you won't hurt or be afraid.
492
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:11,178
Okay?
493
00:25:13,013 --> 00:25:14,890
- Okay.
- Okay?
494
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,309
- Okay.
- Okay.
495
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:22,189
So I went down on fat gay Laura.
496
00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:24,316
It was basically charity.
497
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:27,319
You have a pretty skewed
view of the world, Jessa.
498
00:25:28,612 --> 00:25:32,866
Usually the more I get to know a person,
the more sense they make to me, but not you.
499
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:36,786
Do you understand the implications
your behavior has on Laura,
500
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:39,247
- on your family...
- You know, you can't make things
501
00:25:39,331 --> 00:25:42,167
that mean nothing mean something.
502
00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:44,628
Oh, wow.
503
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:46,546
Did you read that off a fortune cookie?
504
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:49,090
Are you a sociopath?
505
00:25:49,174 --> 00:25:51,801
Are you a method actor researching a role?
506
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:54,554
Well, congratulations.
You got yourself kicked out of rehab.
507
00:25:54,638 --> 00:25:56,723
You did what you set out to do.
508
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:00,477
Are we done?
509
00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:32,259
See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
510
00:26:32,342 --> 00:26:34,928
That was fucking great.
511
00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:38,682
No, I mean with my friends.
It was such a successful dinner.
512
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:43,019
And I hate them so much more
when I'm not in the same place as them.
513
00:26:43,103 --> 00:26:45,272
And you were so sweet to Marnie.
514
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:49,025
She really needed it
and I just felt like I know you.
515
00:26:49,109 --> 00:26:53,363
No matter what your crazy ex-girlfriend says,
I really know you.
516
00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:55,365
- Hey.
- Yeah?
517
00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:59,744
I really don't want to see your friends
for, like, three months.
518
00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:00,954
Okay?
519
00:27:01,037 --> 00:27:03,999
I'm sorry, I just... I can't.
520
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,878
Who is that? "Unknown number"? I hate that.
521
00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:11,298
Don't answer.
522
00:27:11,381 --> 00:27:12,382
Hello?
523
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,259
Hi, it's Jessa.
524
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:17,262
Jessa?
525
00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:19,973
Don't scream. Relax, please.
526
00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:23,435
Did you really just say "relax" to me?
Is that really what you just did?
527
00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:26,187
Because, honestly, sometimes
when you abandon someone
528
00:27:26,271 --> 00:27:30,317
and don't tell them where you are for months,
it makes them feel pretty shitty.
529
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,610
So then to call and say, "Oh, please, relax..."
530
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:36,406
I'm in rehab,
in the middle of Shitsville, Nowhere.
531
00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:39,868
That is so great.
532
00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:42,662
Now I need you to come and get me.
533
00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:44,789
What? What'd she say?
534
00:27:44,873 --> 00:27:47,500
I'm gonna place you on hold
for a brief moment.
535
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:55,717
Baby, how old do you have to be
to rent a car?