1
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,469
I don't care about hair.
2
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:13,098
It grows, it shrinks. You can't get attached.
3
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,892
Plus, you should feel
very confident 'cause I'm a lot better at this
4
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:19,020
when I'm not in the middle
of an obsessive-compulsive meltdown.
5
00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:22,482
Fuck.
6
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:28,446
What?
7
00:00:29,656 --> 00:00:30,949
Wait...
8
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,118
I can't hear you. Calm down.
9
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:34,661
Breathe from your stomach.
10
00:00:35,704 --> 00:00:36,996
Where are you?
11
00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:38,123
I'm at the end of my rope.
12
00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:39,958
Are you serious?
13
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,209
I need your address...
14
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,212
Okay, okay, okay.
15
00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,005
1616 India Street.
16
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,050
Yes, see you in a bit.
17
00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:52,345
Who did you just give our address to?
18
00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:55,932
My sister.
19
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:58,560
I mean, I guess I should've known
20
00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,979
what was going on
from the beginning, you know?
21
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,982
But he had so many pets
and he was so good to them.
22
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:07,485
How could a man who loves animals
with such a haunting totality
23
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,571
just turn around and brutally rebuff me?
24
00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:11,364
- It doesn't make sense.
- It's shocking.
25
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:13,199
- It is.
- So, I don't fucking get it.
26
00:01:13,283 --> 00:01:15,744
He just dropped you by the side of the road?
27
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,036
Yeah, right to the guardrail.
28
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,789
"Go," he said, "I'm saving you from me."
29
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:23,376
I hitched to the nearest bus station,
and a very sweet, sad-eyed clerk
30
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:25,837
took pity on me and gave me a ticket.
Thank God.
31
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,715
I am so sorry this happened.
32
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:29,924
I really am.
33
00:01:30,008 --> 00:01:32,510
Thank you so much. You're so sweet.
34
00:01:32,969 --> 00:01:36,097
I promise I won't avail myself
of your hospitality for very long.
35
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:39,184
Fuck, no.
You're not availing yourself of it at all.
36
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:40,852
Adam, we have a spare room.
37
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,229
We're happy to have you
stay with us for as long as you need to...
38
00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:45,190
No, she can't. You're not staying.
39
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,483
You can wipe your nose
with some toilet paper,
40
00:01:46,566 --> 00:01:48,318
then you can fucking get lost.
41
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:52,989
I understand your frustration with me, Addie,
I really do.
42
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:56,618
But I have nowhere to get lost to, okay?
43
00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:58,745
I'm unemployed and homeless.
44
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,749
I got fired because apparently nobody
trusts a young, beautiful teacher.
45
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:05,126
They only want old, stinky ones.
46
00:02:05,335 --> 00:02:07,420
Horrible double standard in our culture.
47
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:10,799
Believe me,
this is the last place in the world I want to be.
48
00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:13,134
Obviously it's not
the last place because you're here
49
00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:15,303
even though I told you
you're never welcome to stay with me again
50
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,805
after you tried to euthanize Grandma Helen.
51
00:02:16,888 --> 00:02:19,015
She asked me to! She said she was terminal!
52
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:21,392
I'm sorry that I believed our dying grandma!
53
00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:22,727
There's not a fucking chance!
54
00:02:22,811 --> 00:02:24,771
Not a fucking chance in hell, Liney.
55
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,151
I don't know why
you're being so mean to her, okay?
56
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:32,904
We have this whole extra bedroom
for exactly this purpose.
57
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,448
We have all that fancy soap
I stole from my parents' hotel.
58
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,158
- I don't get why you're doing this.
- You don't know...
59
00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:39,744
I know you're just trying to be nice,
but there is no being nice to this girl.
60
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:41,037
She destroys everything in her wake.
61
00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:42,956
- That's not possible.
- She can't stay.
62
00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:45,667
I know her better than you do.
Trust me, please.
63
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:46,751
I'm not being a dick.
64
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,712
- Okay, I trust you.
- Thank you.
65
00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:51,172
You're welcome.
66
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,592
- No.
- Okay.
67
00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:09,315
I'm not aware of too many things
68
00:03:09,399 --> 00:03:11,901
I know what I know, if you know what I mean
69
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,153
Mean
70
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,243
- Philosophy...
- Philosophy
71
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,579
...Is the talk on a cereal box
72
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,123
- Religion...
- Religion
73
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,625
...is the smile on a dog
74
00:03:27,709 --> 00:03:28,710
Yeah
75
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,753
I'm not aware of too many things
76
00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:33,590
I know what I know, if you know what I mean
77
00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:35,008
Mean
78
00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:36,676
Do yeah...
79
00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:39,804
Look, I just need you
to take this video down.
80
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,057
I don't have the password,
but it is my face, okay?
81
00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,768
I am in the video. I can give you proof of that.
82
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:46,978
It's me.
83
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:49,898
No, it's my... Yeah, it's my face.
84
00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,858
I am in the video. What more do you want?
85
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,444
Do you want me to send you
proof of identification or something
86
00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:56,112
so you know it's me? I can do that.
87
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,282
I could, like, text you
my driver's license or something.
88
00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:03,703
I'm not gonna ask him for it
because I fucking hate him.
89
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,247
He broke my heart.
He, like, ruined my fucking life.
90
00:04:06,331 --> 00:04:07,916
I'm not gonna get in touch with him.
91
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:11,210
You are a moron! Seriously?
92
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,504
Why can't you understand this?
93
00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:14,964
No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
94
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:17,216
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
95
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,011
I did not mean to offend you.
I'm really, really sorry.
96
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,220
What's your name?
97
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:23,890
Marcel? My name's Marnie.
98
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:26,935
I really apologize for losing my temper at you.
99
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:42,951
Hey, Caroline.
100
00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:47,830
I am so sorry, but I forgot that my friend,
Kerrity is coming to stay here.
101
00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,624
She's an old gymnastics friend,
102
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,751
and I just don't feel
comfortable leaving her in the lurch...
103
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,504
I understand. It's totally okay, Hannah.
I'll be fine.
104
00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:57,131
- Okay, great.
- I'm really not as fragile as he thinks I am.
105
00:04:57,215 --> 00:04:59,342
- Okay, good.
- I'm really a good old girl.
106
00:04:59,425 --> 00:05:01,803
- Good.
- But if you did have some arnica
107
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:04,555
for these bruises
on my thigh, that would be so helpful.
108
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:08,309
Did you run into something,
or is that more of, like, an abuse scenario?
109
00:05:08,393 --> 00:05:10,395
- 'Cause those are really...
- You know, I don't know what to call
110
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,063
a provoked physical attack
by someone you love.
111
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,982
- I really don't.
- He fucking hit you?
112
00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:17,068
- Where is he now?
- It's not that simple.
113
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,779
You know, I have
a much more complex view of these things.
114
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,490
I have recently become just keenly aware
115
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:25,326
of the challenge that I present
to those who surround me, and I was...
116
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,620
Do you want to come to my birthday party?
117
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,665
I mean, I don't know, it might be totally lame,
and I'm not sure...
118
00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,250
My mom and my best friend are organizing.
119
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,418
It could be just ridiculous,
120
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,753
but maybe it'll take
your mind off things and, who knows?
121
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,006
It would be my honor.
122
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:39,382
- Thank you.
- Good.
123
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,092
- Thank you.
- Good.
124
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:46,597
Adam, can I borrow pants, a shirt,
and a dickey for the birthday party, please?
125
00:05:47,432 --> 00:05:50,351
Did I mention the drug test
we require of all new employees?
126
00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,061
I'm kidding. Welcome aboard.
127
00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,521
See you next week.
128
00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:57,859
So, is that the first hire?
129
00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:01,195
Yeah, 'cause you made me take all
the Bad News Bears from the old location,
130
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:02,572
which is bullshit.
131
00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,658
Loyalty will get you everywhere.
132
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:09,370
You know, if you wrote down
all these business lessons,
133
00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:11,956
then you wouldn't have
to spout embarrassing platitudes in public.
134
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,499
Think about that.
135
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:16,794
The fact is, Ray,
I won't be spouting platitudes much longer.
136
00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,172
I know, you're sick.
137
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:20,965
The thing is, if you don't
tell me what you're sick with,
138
00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:22,341
then I can't help you.
139
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,052
And furthermore, I can't care.
140
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,637
That is heartwarming, Ray.
141
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,140
Ray, I love you.
142
00:06:29,474 --> 00:06:30,600
Like a son.
143
00:06:31,309 --> 00:06:33,561
I love you like a bastard son.
144
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,855
I love you, too, Hermie.
145
00:06:36,314 --> 00:06:37,982
I do, and I have to admit...
146
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,319
I'm kinda scared, you know?
147
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,946
Life can be terrifying, even if you're not sick.
148
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:46,616
No, no, I'm scared of being a boss.
149
00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:49,202
Like, a real, legitimate boss, you know?
150
00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:51,412
Of making decisions for the entire team.
151
00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:53,915
Of having boundaries
and respecting those boundaries.
152
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:56,167
Of being the type
of man that can handle all this shit.
153
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,919
It's simple, Ray.
154
00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,588
Don't hit anyone, don't shtup anyone,
155
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,883
clean so that rats don't get tempted,
and you got yourself a business.
156
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,010
Don't shtup anybody?
157
00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,429
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay.
158
00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:10,640
All right.
If it's really that simple, I can do that.
159
00:07:11,224 --> 00:07:13,893
I can do that for you, but I'm telling you,
you're gonna outlive us all.
160
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,771
You'll see, you're gonna be
like Ingmar fucking Bergman.
161
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,606
He said he was gonna die every day.
162
00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:21,859
He lived to his late 80s on his
own private Swedish island.
163
00:07:22,527 --> 00:07:23,861
Think about it, Hermie.
164
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,206
- Ray!
- Yay!
165
00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:37,625
Holla!
166
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,627
Happy birthday!
167
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,130
- Surprise!
- It's not a surprise party.
168
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:44,006
- Oh.
- I'm still so excited.
169
00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:45,216
I have no idea why he said that.
170
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,342
I specifically told him not to.
171
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,468
I forgot.
172
00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,971
This is so amazing
that you guys are doing this for me.
173
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:52,390
We're just paying. Marnie's done so much.
174
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,975
I can't believe you're turning 25.
175
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,144
- Where does the time go?
- I don't know.
176
00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:58,271
- You look so wonderful.
- Thank you.
177
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:01,691
Doesn't she? I keep telling her she could
look like this every day if she wanted.
178
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:04,110
You really look great, sweetie.
179
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,821
Oh, this is Adam's sister, Caroline.
180
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,824
- Oh, hi.
- Just so healthy and clean,
181
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,785
- and just, you know, wow.
- Mom, I get it.
182
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,162
Hey. Mmm.
183
00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:15,955
Oh, hi.
184
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,123
Oh, golly.
185
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,416
Okay, okay, okay. That's enough.
186
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,377
And you remember
Adam from my period of mental illness.
187
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,379
Hey, so fucking good to see you, Mr. Horvath.
188
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,464
- You're fucking right.
- Mrs. Horvath.
189
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,341
- How are you?
- Just a family affair, huh?
190
00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:29,844
It's great you could make it, Caroline.
191
00:08:30,303 --> 00:08:32,430
Anyway, so you guys should all go get drinks.
192
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,016
We're paying for all of
the liquor until 10:00 p.m.
193
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,517
We are paying.
194
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:40,146
And if you do want to get a drink,
just use the passcode, which is "banana."
195
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,939
Banana.
196
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,400
Banana, banana.
197
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,652
Yep, it is, and if you say it too loudly,
198
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,487
everyone else will hear it
and then they'll get free drinks,
199
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,739
so just keep it to yourself, yeah.
200
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:51,282
I'm gonna show you around.
201
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:53,826
Hannah...
202
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:54,994
I'll be right back.
203
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,205
So, Caroline, how old are you?
204
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,958
I love your hat.
205
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:02,877
You're so great to do this,
206
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,713
especially considering everything
you're dealing with, with Charlie and...
207
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,797
Are you joking?
208
00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,342
This is, like, the nicest
distraction for me to have.
209
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,761
It's so good for me to,
like, throw myself into this.
210
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:13,346
And I'll have a bunch of party pictures
211
00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:15,973
that I can post to Instagram
'cause I know he checks it.
212
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,309
- He definitely checks it.
- He fucking checks it.
213
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,270
- Happy birthday, boo!
- Hi, how are you, Tako?
214
00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:23,231
Happy birthday. This is Prietta.
215
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:25,691
- Hey, good to meet you.
- This is my love. Where's Adam?
216
00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:27,860
He's stuck with my parents.
Please go rescue him.
217
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,445
- I'll be back.
- Sorry.
218
00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,030
I just have something to show you.
219
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,990
Awesome. Laird!
220
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,283
Hannah, hi.
221
00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:37,245
On the occasion of your birthday, I present...
222
00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:39,538
You know what? You can just go ahead
and leave that in the back room
223
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,374
- with the rest of the presents.
- I am so sorry. Bye, Laird.
224
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:44,752
- Tinu! Hi!
- Oh, hey! Happy birthday.
225
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,504
- No.
- I'll find you in a second.
226
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,089
Just really quick.
227
00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:51,926
- Boo!
- Oh, my God!
228
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,011
- Happy birthday!
- Hello, darling.
229
00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:57,890
- Hi.
- You look amaze, birthday girl.
230
00:09:57,974 --> 00:09:59,809
- Thank you.
- I have some drinks for everybody.
231
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:00,977
Thank you.
232
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:02,603
This is great. Cheers.
233
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,647
Twenty fucking five.
234
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,190
- That's how old I am.
- Oh, my God.
235
00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:07,775
I cannot believe it. How does it feel?
236
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,235
- It feels great.
- Yeah?
237
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,653
Being 25 is great.
238
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,530
It's really amazing that all three of you
239
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,699
have accomplished so little
in the four years since college.
240
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,409
I mean, think about it. Four years.
241
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:18,452
Four years is, like, nothing.
242
00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:20,830
Your 21st birthday feels like yesterday to me.
243
00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:22,957
Do you remember,
we sang the duet from Rent?
244
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,959
Oh, my God, we sang Take Me or Leave Me.
245
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,628
- It was atrocious.
- It was so fun.
246
00:10:27,712 --> 00:10:30,047
It was the happiest
we've ever been, remember?
247
00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,550
We should do it again.
There's a stage right there.
248
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,469
Marnie, I cherish you
on an interpersonal level,
249
00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:39,056
I love this party. The last thing I want to do
is sing anything from Rent.
250
00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,559
Okay.
251
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,103
Choke me in the shallow water...
252
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,731
Guys, I really wish you
weren't watching this right now.
253
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,274
Marnie, it's not that bad.
254
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:51,652
I just... Charlie made me do it
and then he, like, put it on YouTube
255
00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,195
and he was like, "Ta-da."
256
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,782
But should've been like,
"Fuck you. Here's the video."
257
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,660
Marnie, you were
definitely complicit in the creation of this.
258
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:01,996
Why don't you just call
him and ask for his password?
259
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:05,124
I don't want to fucking call him,
and I do not want to know his password.
260
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,419
Maybe his password is,
"I shape my pubes into a neat box."
261
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,922
People are so mean in the comment section.
262
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,174
Oh, my God, it's crazy.
263
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:16,886
"Please stab this Disney princess in the face
and shut her the fuck up."
264
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:19,555
Don't... I don't want to read...
I don't read comments.
265
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223
This guy likes your tits.
266
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,549
Hey.
267
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:04,809
You're not dancing.
268
00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:07,770
No, I'm not.
269
00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:10,815
You're not fucking dancing.
270
00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:15,152
I'm not fucking dancing.
271
00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:18,572
Dance with me.
272
00:12:19,657 --> 00:12:21,033
I'm gonna pass.
273
00:12:21,242 --> 00:12:23,786
Oh, don't be so stoic. Dance with me.
274
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,538
Really, I'm okay. Thank you.
275
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,540
Thank you.
276
00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:30,584
I leave my body during sex.
It's called disassociation.
277
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,795
It's an anxiety symptom.
278
00:12:35,256 --> 00:12:37,425
Listen, I just got out of a relationship, okay?
279
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:39,760
And my ex is here
and I'm not really in the mood to talk...
280
00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,011
What?
281
00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,889
I said I'm not really in the mood to talk to...
282
00:12:43,973 --> 00:12:46,392
I can't hear you. Can you come a little closer?
283
00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:49,937
I said I'm not really in the mood...
284
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,063
Ow!
285
00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,566
What the fuck is wrong with you?
286
00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:56,986
Sorry?
287
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,529
Jesus Christ.
288
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:07,538
Excuse me?
289
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,498
Hello?
290
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,459
- Barkeep!
- Good luck.
291
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,961
This guy apparently hates serving people.
292
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,881
It's like his biggest pet peeve, doing his job.
293
00:13:17,423 --> 00:13:20,134
You can tell he fancies
himself one of these mixologists, right?
294
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:23,262
Dude, they're not going home
with you, okay?
295
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,555
Be reasonable.
296
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:30,853
Zombie flirt.
297
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,482
Oh.
298
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,067
I like your style.
299
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:38,861
- I'm Ray.
- Kobi.
300
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,738
Kobi. Good man, Kobi.
301
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,281
Good man, indeed.
302
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,283
So, what brings you out here tonight, Kobi?
303
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,495
Why does any guy
come to a place where there's dancing?
304
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:48,787
A girl told me to come.
305
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,082
Right. And who is this tantalizing vixen?
Hmm?
306
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:54,043
Shoshanna Shapiro.
307
00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,089
Oh, you know her?
308
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,050
A little bit.
309
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:02,843
Yeah, how'd you guys meet?
310
00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,261
On the street, actually.
311
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,931
- On the street?
- This girl is crazy.
312
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,599
I mean, she was drunk and she just screams,
313
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,935
"Hey, hottie.
You know where I can find some dank weed?"
314
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:15,105
So I'm telling her, and then her
and her friends pull me into a cab with them.
315
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,483
- It was like a Cîroc commercial, I swear.
- Oh.
316
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,109
That's crazy.
317
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:22,446
Oh, dude, she's got some
pretty diverting friends, so maybe...
318
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:24,198
Yeah.
319
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:35,125
- They always do that.
- It's so fucking cool.
320
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,211
Caroline's being okay, right?
321
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,088
Uh...
322
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:42,049
Well, so far,
but I'm telling you, she starts out great,
323
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,385
and then she'll flush
all your fish down the toilet
324
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:46,053
because they need to be free.
325
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,930
She's mean in her heart, Hannah.
326
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,015
She's the opposite of you. She's mean inside.
327
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:51,725
I can be really mean.
328
00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:53,310
She's a selfish fucking disaster.
329
00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:55,729
She doesn't even have
the common courtesy to implode alone.
330
00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:57,523
All must go down with her.
331
00:14:57,982 --> 00:14:59,149
Okay.
332
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:03,320
I really hear you, but she's being fine tonight,
and she's not staying with us.
333
00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:04,989
She's not staying with us.
334
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,783
Adam, I always have terrible birthdays.
335
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,743
It's kind of my thing.
336
00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:12,037
So can we please just try and have fun?
337
00:15:14,999 --> 00:15:16,208
No?
338
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,336
- No, we can't?
- Yes, we can.
339
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,089
- Hey!
- Yes, we can.
340
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,245
Hey.
341
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:55,998
Shosh, hey.
342
00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:57,666
Hi.
343
00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:58,834
How's it going?
344
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,586
Um, good.
345
00:16:00,753 --> 00:16:02,254
You're here for...
346
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,506
Hannah's birthday.
347
00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:05,883
Hannah's birthday, right.
348
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,718
Of course. Me, too.
349
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,553
- Right.
- Well, yeah.
350
00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:11,388
- That makes sense.
- Makes sense.
351
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:14,725
How are things?
352
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,560
I'm doing well. Yeah, thanks.
353
00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:18,395
Things are good. Really good, actually.
354
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,606
I moved into Adam's old place
in Prospect Heights...
355
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:22,441
- Oh, wow.
- Which is really nice.
356
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:25,319
It's nice to have running water
and drapes and stuff.
357
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,822
My aunt, Helene, you may remember,
is a decorator for restaurants out in Syosset,
358
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:32,159
so she's really helping me
get the place all slicked out, looking legit.
359
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,161
- Right.
- So that's nice.
360
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,913
And the new Grumpy's opened up.
361
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,874
It's doing really well. Better than we expected.
362
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,834
- That's great.
- Yeah, so...
363
00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:43,629
Hermie wants to name the new place Ray's,
which is pretty cool.
364
00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:46,256
Oh, wow. That's cool 'cause it's your name.
365
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:50,260
Yeah, we got eight new employees,
which I hired directly.
366
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,930
One of my many responsibilities as manager.
367
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,351
And if things go really well,
368
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:01,605
in a few months, we might install a...
369
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:08,112
I'm sorry. I can't...
I just don't... I'm sorry.
370
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,532
I don't...
I don't think I want to be friends with you.
371
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,742
Um, okay.
372
00:17:13,951 --> 00:17:15,119
I just don't...
373
00:17:16,412 --> 00:17:19,081
I don't want to be polite with you,
I don't want to have small talk with you.
374
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,709
I just don't think...
375
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,379
Anyway, enjoy your evening.
376
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,089
Enjoy your life.
377
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:28,924
Cool cigarette.
378
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:40,144
I heard neck tattoos are the new sunglasses.
379
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:41,562
I hope so.
380
00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:43,564
Hey, ho! Let's go!
381
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,525
Oh, my God.
382
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:48,402
Oh, my God.
383
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,237
Oh, my God. It's Ed Norton.
384
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,156
- I love him.
- Hannah.
385
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,450
That is not Ed Norton.
That is my editor, David.
386
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:56,952
I have no idea what he's doing here.
387
00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:58,579
Hannah?
388
00:17:58,662 --> 00:17:59,872
What is he doing here?
389
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:03,083
Well, I told him about it
like, in the context of a story.
390
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,877
I didn't think he'd actually come.
391
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,297
Any of you scruffy trust-funders
seen Hannah?
392
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:12,134
David!
393
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,386
- Honey.
- Hey. Hi.
394
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:17,181
It is I, David Pressler-Goings.
395
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:20,893
I'm sorry.
396
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:21,935
- Hi.
- Hi.
397
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,854
I am so glad you could make it.
398
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,606
Then you should have invited me.
399
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,649
Not that I would've accepted.
400
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:28,901
I just happened to be in the neighborhood
401
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:31,653
because somebody
bitched out on me yet again.
402
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,114
Some little baby fucking bitch.
403
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:36,533
So I thought I would drop by
and see how the kids are partying.
404
00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:38,285
- Hello, my name is Marnie Michaels.
- Hi.
405
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,662
I am prominently featured
in many of Hannah's essays.
406
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:43,540
You certainly are.
I'm so glad I didn't wear that dress.
407
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,417
And this is my boyfriend, Adam.
408
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:48,962
Hey, it's a great and good pleasure
to make your acquaintance.
409
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,255
Adam.
410
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,508
Adam.
411
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,551
Adam, Adam.
412
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:55,803
Adam, come here.
413
00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:58,180
Could you get me a tall glass of still water
414
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:01,141
and an Internet-enabled cell phone
of some kind?
415
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,560
I've got the Internet-enabled phone.
416
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,813
Just dry... Dry mouth.
417
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:07,981
And you will go and get the water.
418
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:12,986
I'm just gonna download Grindr on this,
just temporarily.
419
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,488
- Cool.
- Sure, yeah.
420
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,120
- It's not really my thing.
- Yeah.
421
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,266
Where is she going?
422
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:46,019
Oh, that was so great.
Thank you guys so much.
423
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,689
Hello, hi, um...
424
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,149
My name is Marnie Michaels,
425
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,611
and as many of you know,
we are here tonight
426
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:57,865
to celebrate Hannah's 25th birthday.
427
00:19:58,407 --> 00:19:59,825
She's right there, the birthday girl.
428
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:02,452
She's wearing her "Birthday Bitch" hat,
like she oughta.
429
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:03,662
- Whoo!
- Um...
430
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:07,291
It means a lot that you're all here,
and we love you a lot,
431
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,042
and most importantly, Hannah loves you a lot,
432
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:12,212
and what better thing to do on this night
433
00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:15,549
than to celebrate the birth
of one of my personal favorite people
434
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,510
on the entire planet, my Hannah?
435
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:42,326
Yeah! Yeah!
436
00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:45,829
Fuck!
437
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:53,837
Excuse me, why did you stop playing
the great song, that I requested,
438
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:55,505
and start playing this piece of shit song?
439
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,424
Because that's what DJs do.
440
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,259
We switch from one song to another.
441
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,345
Who asked you to change songs?
442
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,597
That little dude dancing over there.
443
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,309
- That guy? That silver elf over there?
- Yes.
444
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,852
Poor man's Anderson Cooper?
445
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,521
He told me to call him the Mixmaster General.
446
00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:13,982
That guy?
447
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,860
I love you so much. Happy 25th birthday.
448
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:21,406
And I actually would like
to invite you to the stage
449
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,909
- because I have a little bit of a surprise
450
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,744
for you and for everybody else.
451
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:30,624
So if you could come on up here
and join me that would be great.
452
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,502
- Go, go, go.
- So let's give a warm round of applause
453
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:34,711
for the birthday girl.
454
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:36,004
Yay.
455
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:41,510
You can start the song.
456
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:43,220
Yay.
457
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,392
This is an encore performance.
458
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:54,940
Every single day
I walk down the street
459
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,403
I hear people say, "Baby, so sweet"
460
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,156
Ever since puberty
everybody stares at me
461
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,827
Boys, girls
I can't help it, baby
462
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:10,831
So be kind
and don't lose your mind...
463
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:13,000
When you accept my request,
we enter a contract.
464
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,292
- Why are you still talking?
- Okay?
465
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:15,919
A contract between DJ and listener.
466
00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:19,172
And now, based on your actions,
you have failed to honor that contract.
467
00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:21,049
Well, I guess my life is over, then.
468
00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:22,926
- Be off.
- It's a breach!
469
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:24,886
Breach of contract.
470
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,770
Excuse me?
471
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:36,023
Are you the guy I just messaged?
472
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,983
'Cause you don't look like your picture.
473
00:22:39,651 --> 00:22:43,613
Did you tell the DJ to stop playing my song
and start playing this piece of shit song?
474
00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:45,282
You're welcome.
475
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,159
Okay, let me tell you something.
476
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,869
That's not how it works, okay?
477
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:50,370
- How does it work?
- I'll tell you the way it works.
478
00:22:50,454 --> 00:22:52,039
There's a queue, okay?
479
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:53,498
And this is the way the queue works, okay?
480
00:22:53,582 --> 00:22:54,750
This is the logic of the queue.
481
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,711
My song plays first because I asked first.
482
00:22:57,794 --> 00:23:01,173
Your song plays after that
because you did not ask first.
483
00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,967
Songs should never, ever, ever, ever
484
00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:05,260
end in the middle.
485
00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:08,638
Okay? It's not fair to end things in the middle.
Do you understand?
486
00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:11,391
- Whoa, are you on coke?
- What? No!
487
00:23:11,475 --> 00:23:12,976
Do you have any coke?
488
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:16,063
Do you understand the concept of the queue?
489
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:19,441
Do you? It's the only thing
separating us from the animals!
490
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,319
And now I have grown weary of you!
491
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:26,865
Jesus.
492
00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:30,660
- Hey, dick nose... Did you hear what...
- Fuck.
493
00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,665
Not even close.
494
00:23:37,918 --> 00:23:39,252
Oh, man.
495
00:23:39,336 --> 00:23:43,006
Whoa, what a heady dust up.
I've never felt more alive.
496
00:23:43,090 --> 00:23:45,342
I work out. Come on, let's hug it out.
497
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,426
- Come on, brother.
- What?
498
00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:49,054
I got 40 more good years. Let's hug it out.
499
00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:50,388
Come on.
500
00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:52,099
I look before I leap
501
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:54,184
Margins and discipline
502
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:56,186
I make lists in my sleep
503
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,647
Baby, what's my sin?
504
00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,732
Quit, I follow through
505
00:24:00,816 --> 00:24:01,775
Fight!
506
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:02,859
I hate mess, but I love you
507
00:24:02,943 --> 00:24:05,695
What to do with my impromptu baby?
508
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:06,947
Just keep going.
509
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,490
Be kind, don't lose...
510
00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:11,368
Fight!
511
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:13,954
Oh, no, no. It's not about your voice.
It's something else going on.
512
00:24:14,037 --> 00:24:15,205
There's a fight.
513
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,791
Take me for what I am...
514
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:18,875
Just stay.
515
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:22,337
Who I was meant to be...
516
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,630
You can stay.
517
00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:27,634
And if you give a damn
518
00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:31,429
Take me baby or leave me
519
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:34,432
What's this from?
520
00:24:38,770 --> 00:24:40,647
Did Caroline leave on her own
or was she kicked out
521
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,150
for, like, trying to steal
a light fixture or something?
522
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:47,070
I don't know, but she was definitely gone
before Ray got punched in the face.
523
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:49,698
That's too bad.
That kind of shit's right in her wheelhouse.
524
00:24:53,410 --> 00:24:54,494
Yes?
525
00:24:54,578 --> 00:24:56,079
I made you something.
526
00:24:56,163 --> 00:24:58,248
Oh, is it drugs?
527
00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,090
It's my tooth.
528
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,343
I love it. No.
529
00:25:10,427 --> 00:25:11,928
Well, it's either mine or Caroline's.
530
00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:13,513
My mom put them all in one box.
531
00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:17,309
But it's definitely my genetic material.
532
00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:19,269
I love it.
533
00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:22,689
I love it so much.
534
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:25,275
I love it.
535
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:26,985
Happy birthday.
536
00:25:27,652 --> 00:25:28,945
Thank you.
537
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:52,802
I love my necklace.
538
00:25:54,846 --> 00:25:56,139
I have to pee.
539
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:58,099
Go wait for me. I'll be right back.
540
00:25:58,475 --> 00:25:59,726
Thank you.
541
00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:07,317
What?
542
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,195
I'm sorry, it's Caroline.
She just really scared me.
543
00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:14,324
No, what did you do?
544
00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:16,993
- Jesus Christ.
- What did you do?
545
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,080
Fuck me.
546
00:26:20,163 --> 00:26:22,165
Stop, stop, stop.
547
00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:24,251
Why are you even bothering?
548
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:26,503
You don't even care if I'm on the street.
549
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:29,089
Why did I even join the teachers' union, huh?
550
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:30,674
- I need a towel or something.
- Mmm-hmm.
551
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,175
Some water.
552
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:35,136
Thank you, Hannah.
553
00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,097
Thank you so much for your compassion.
554
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:38,682
It's okay.
555
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,392
I'm so sorry. I just...
556
00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:42,102
I get mixed up, you know?
557
00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:45,438
I don't mean to be like this.
I never mean to do it.
558
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:47,274
It's awful, you know?
559
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:50,193
It's just awful to be like this.
560
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:52,612
You just need a good night's sleep.
561
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,698
I understand.
562
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:05,333
- Oh, my God.
- I told you.
563
00:27:07,085 --> 00:27:09,045
She got in. I told you.
564
00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:12,215
And she won.
565
00:27:13,925 --> 00:27:15,427
Okay? She won.
566
00:27:18,096 --> 00:27:20,807
- Do you still want to have sex?
- No.
567
00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:28,023
That makes sense.