1 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,057 Are you sure I can't get you anything else? 2 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,267 Oh, yeah, no. I'm actually waiting for someone. 3 00:00:16,935 --> 00:00:18,978 I'm actually waiting, um, for Patti LuPone. 4 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,398 I have... I'm going to conduct an interview with her, so... 5 00:00:21,481 --> 00:00:23,191 If you could just let her know that I'm sitting right here, 6 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,110 that would be amazing. 7 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,903 I don't know what she looks like. 8 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,738 Patti LuPone? Like... 9 00:00:28,822 --> 00:00:31,241 Don't cry for me... 10 00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:32,325 That's not... 11 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:35,995 Okay. 12 00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,458 Hi, mister. I'm waiting for Patti. 13 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,711 I'm at my callback. 14 00:00:42,794 --> 00:00:44,796 Oh, my God. Major Barbara. Are you excited? 15 00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,214 I don't know. It's a small part. 16 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:49,217 No, there's no small parts, there's only small actors, 17 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,593 and you're a very tall actor. 18 00:00:50,677 --> 00:00:52,804 Everyone here looks like how I'd look with a nose job. 19 00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,597 But they don't want someone with a nose job. 20 00:00:54,681 --> 00:00:56,349 They want someone with a spirit. 21 00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:57,892 Whatever. I'm not here to make friends. 22 00:00:57,976 --> 00:01:01,646 Look, they don't love it when you're on the phone. 23 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,859 Oh... Oh, okay. 24 00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:08,153 - I've gotta go. - Okay, I love you. 25 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,654 - I love you, too. - Bye. 26 00:01:09,738 --> 00:01:11,406 I'll call you after the interview. Bye. 27 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:14,200 I'm sorry. I'm just... I know this casting director. 28 00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,453 She's kinda, like, proper. 29 00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,580 No, no, no, no, it's cool. Thank you. 30 00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:20,039 Yeah, sure. 31 00:01:22,292 --> 00:01:24,252 - Desi. - Adam. 32 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,379 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 33 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,095 What part are you reading? 34 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:36,931 Bill. 35 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,433 Oh, okay. 36 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,393 - You? - Uh, Bronterre. 37 00:01:40,477 --> 00:01:41,478 Oh. 38 00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,189 - Nice. Very nice. - Yeah. 39 00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:20,975 Hi, Rocco. Do you need me to sign? 40 00:02:21,059 --> 00:02:22,519 Nope, have a great day. 41 00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:25,271 - Please don't go, Rocco. - I have to go. 42 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:27,649 I want to hear about your weekend, Rocco. 43 00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:29,400 What did you have for dinner? 44 00:02:29,484 --> 00:02:32,445 Who's your ex-wife? Rocco, I'm so bored! 45 00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:33,905 You bastard. 46 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,004 So... 47 00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:54,843 Um, something's actually come up for Patti in her schedule, 48 00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:57,595 so she's not gonna... 49 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,223 We're gonna reschedule. 50 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:09,858 Adam? 51 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:12,360 Can we see you for one more second? 52 00:03:12,944 --> 00:03:14,279 Yeah. 53 00:03:15,989 --> 00:03:17,907 I said get two chickens. 54 00:03:17,991 --> 00:03:20,285 Oops. They're back. Okay, bye. 55 00:03:21,411 --> 00:03:22,996 Come on in. 56 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,379 Do you guys want me to give it a different read? 57 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,465 Congratulations. You got it. 58 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,470 Okay. Uh... 59 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:43,266 Does he know? 60 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:46,728 - He does. - Okay. 61 00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,230 Okay, cool. 62 00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:51,733 Uh, thank you very much. 63 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,220 - Hey. - Hey. 64 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,559 - I got it. - Yeah, me, too. 65 00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:28,144 Yeah, I know. 66 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,440 Where are you headed? 67 00:04:32,607 --> 00:04:33,608 Um... 68 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:35,652 Greenpoint. 69 00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:37,362 You want a ride? 70 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,990 No, I was thinking of walking, actually. 71 00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:43,159 That's a long way. 72 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,869 Yeah, that's far. I'll take a ride. 73 00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:06,182 No, Sam, you gotta hit the keyboard harder throughout this entire song. 74 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:09,143 You just can't diddle around the keyboard. 75 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,562 That's why you're having trouble with your girlfriend. 76 00:05:11,646 --> 00:05:13,648 - I don't know what girl likes to be... - Miss LuPone? 77 00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:16,693 - Yes? - Hi, I'm Hannah Horvath. 78 00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:19,696 I'm here from Condé Nast to do your Strenova interview. 79 00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:21,364 Yeah, I canceled that. 80 00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:23,449 Nope, I know you canceled it 81 00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:25,994 just five minutes before we were supposed to do it, 82 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:28,413 but my boss said that we need to have it in today, 83 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,916 so I called your publicist and she mentioned you were here. 84 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,668 How long is it gonna take? 85 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,336 - Five minutes. - Really? 86 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:37,588 I would say 15 minutes maximum. 87 00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:40,383 Five to 15 minutes, and then probably 10 minutes just to wrap up. 88 00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:42,677 - Five minutes. - Great. 89 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,262 I don't know if they explained to you, 90 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,764 but this is gonna run in the magazine just like a normal article. 91 00:05:46,848 --> 00:05:49,058 Normal interview with you, picture, 92 00:05:49,142 --> 00:05:52,186 byline, my name, everything, and then at the bottom, 93 00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,855 it's just gonna say, "Sponsored by Strenova." 94 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,940 Right, and I have to mention Strenova, right? 95 00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:57,525 I have to mention the bone density drug? 96 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,485 - Yeah, I know it's a little unnatural... - Okay, all right. 97 00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:01,362 - But we'll just find a way to work it in. - Okay. 98 00:06:01,446 --> 00:06:03,156 So, I'm gonna start with some background questions. 99 00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:06,200 - Perfect. - How long have you had osteoporosis? 100 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,619 I don't have osteoporosis. 101 00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:12,415 Okay, well, Strenova's a bone density drug. 102 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:14,959 Oh, right. Oh, I can't say that. 103 00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:17,503 Yeah, I think we should just find an amount of time 104 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:18,921 you're comfortable with to say... 105 00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:21,299 - Five years. - Okay, five years. 106 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,051 - Does that make me sound ancient? - Not at all. 107 00:06:23,134 --> 00:06:26,220 I think it honestly sounds like you were an early victim of osteoporosis, 108 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:29,390 and you started treating it soon enough that you're never gonna have a hunchback. 109 00:06:29,474 --> 00:06:31,059 But can you be an early victim of... 110 00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:32,310 I don't know anything about it. 111 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,770 - You can be an early victim of Alzheimer's... - Right. 112 00:06:33,853 --> 00:06:35,688 ...so I don't understand why osteoporosis would be a problem. 113 00:06:35,772 --> 00:06:37,148 You're right. 114 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,275 We're just gonna say that you found it in a routine bone scan 115 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,028 after a hairline fracture in your ankle. 116 00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:43,988 Okay, how did I fracture my ankle? 117 00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,450 What's your favorite form of physical exercise? 118 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,243 Sleeping. 119 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:52,038 Literally no one could relate to that better than me. 120 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,665 I'm the laziest person I've ever met. 121 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,751 Sometimes I just use my chest as a tray, 122 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,628 but the thing is is that I really think 123 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,004 they just wanna get a sense of, like, 124 00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:01,672 all the different ways you take care of yourself, 125 00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:03,216 and Strenova's just one of them. 126 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,928 - Say I walk my dog. - Okay, dog. 127 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,262 And his name? 128 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,100 - Pippin. - Pippin the dog. 129 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,769 - Pippin the dog. - Uh, what is his breed? 130 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,983 Bulldog... French bulldog. 131 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:22,902 - They're cute. They're really cute. - I'll remember that. 132 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:25,238 I don't need to write that down. 133 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,365 I'm sorry, I have to take this call, 134 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,616 - which is very rude. - Okay. 135 00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,243 Hello? 136 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,161 Baby. 137 00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,205 How was it? 138 00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:36,999 No. 139 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,001 No. 140 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,336 Are you serious? 141 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,879 Oh, my God. 142 00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,422 Okay, I'm with Patti LuPone right now. 143 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:47,051 She's only given me seven minutes, so okay, bye. 144 00:07:49,095 --> 00:07:50,513 I'm so sorry. 145 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,223 That was my boyfriend, and he just got cast 146 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,517 in the revival of Major Barbara on Broadway. 147 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:58,229 Wow, wow. His first Broadway role. 148 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,815 What? 149 00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:03,317 Well, good luck, 'cause I'll tell you what. 150 00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:06,612 He's going to need you to support him 151 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:08,531 and forgive him, 152 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:11,200 'cause he's gonna be an asshole. 153 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,416 Hey, bitch, you're taking all the mochi. 154 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,501 Oh, my God. Soo Jin. 155 00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:21,669 - Hi. - Hi. 156 00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:23,337 Hey. 157 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,673 It's been a really long time. 158 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,216 I know, we're grannies. 159 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,260 It's gross. 160 00:08:29,594 --> 00:08:31,179 Well, you look gorgeous. 161 00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,763 You, too, as always, Iades. 162 00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,265 Are you still with Booth, or... 163 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:35,683 Oh, no, no. I mean, he wasn't, like... 164 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,018 Yeah, he's a wiener in a half shell. 165 00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:40,188 I'm so glad I quit. The money was shit anyways. 166 00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:42,106 How about you? I mean, what are you up to now? 167 00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:45,568 Well, I finally said, "Fuck it," and, as of next week, 168 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:50,156 I, like, seriously DGAF, don't give a fuck! 169 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,742 I'm opening my own gallery. 170 00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:53,951 Are you serious? 171 00:08:54,035 --> 00:08:55,703 It's been such a fucking whirlwind. 172 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,788 Literally don't have time to breathe, 173 00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,373 and I'm dirt-poor now. 174 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,626 - It's so sad. - Well, you went shopping. 175 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,461 Oh, no, this is just a tax write-off. 176 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,380 All my money has been going to the space and the publicity, 177 00:09:06,464 --> 00:09:08,132 and my parents are ready to murder me, 178 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:11,969 but it's just so freeing to be your own boss, you know? 179 00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,471 I have my own architect. 180 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,473 I'm like, "Where did my youth go?" 181 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,308 I'm sure. 182 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,060 Hey, do you have someone helping you? 183 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:21,103 Because opening an art gallery's, like, really hard. 184 00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:22,605 It's a lot harder than anyone thinks, 185 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,315 and I feel like I see galleries opening and closing 186 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,608 every single day in Bushwick. 187 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,736 Oh, no, mine's in NoHo. Hey, you know what? 188 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,113 You should totally stop by sometime. 189 00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:32,865 I'm really excited for our first show. 190 00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:34,909 It's gonna be super fresh, funky-funny. 191 00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:38,162 Sounds... Yeah, maybe I will. 192 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,289 Bye. 193 00:09:40,915 --> 00:09:42,833 - I'm really proud of you. - Thank you. 194 00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:44,585 Really proud. I just wanted you to know that. 195 00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:46,170 Thanks. 196 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,717 He's not gonna even know you exist. 197 00:09:51,801 --> 00:09:53,594 Not until the show's open, not until he's... 198 00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:56,013 If it runs, you know, it runs for, like, maybe three or four months, 199 00:09:56,097 --> 00:09:57,807 then he's gonna come back down to earth, maybe. 200 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,058 But is he mature? 201 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,393 I'd say in some ways, 202 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,936 he's the most mature person I've ever met, 203 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:05,064 and in other ways, he has not yet been born. 204 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,024 What are you involved with him for? 205 00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:09,151 Does he even understand Shaw? 206 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,028 I... I understand Shaw. 207 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:12,196 - You do? - Yeah. 208 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,573 I did a Shaw once. I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. 209 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,700 Because I'll tell you what. 210 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:18,119 You get inside of a production, 211 00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,288 you get inside of a play with a group of actors, 212 00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:22,456 and they have to be intimate, they have to know each other, 213 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:26,210 because they've had relationships, you know, in the play for maybe years, 214 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,921 so there has to be an intimacy that's created overnight, 215 00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,172 and then things happen. 216 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:33,634 Your boyfriend, if he is sexual in any way, 217 00:10:33,718 --> 00:10:35,970 is gonna start fucking everybody in the building. 218 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:38,097 And, don't forget, he's gonna have fans. 219 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,473 I don't think he's gonna have fans. 220 00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:41,309 Honestly, he... Can I call you Patti? 221 00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:43,686 He is so funny-looking. 222 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:46,605 There's a lot of weirdos out there, honey. 223 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:50,568 You know, the Elephant Man got laid a lot. 224 00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,949 Blue Crush was such an important movie for women. 225 00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:57,992 Oh, so important. 226 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,827 And for surfers in general, you know? 227 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,662 "So, I'm gonna surf a pipe, dude." 228 00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:03,831 Hannah, do you have that Patti LuPone copy I asked for? 229 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,792 Oh! Um, yes, I'm just transcribing it right now, actually. 230 00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,336 Um, well, not right this minute. 231 00:11:08,419 --> 00:11:12,006 Uh, I will have it for you in 50 to 20 minutes. 232 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:15,092 Great, listen. Um, also, we have something going on with the Gramercy Park Hotel. 233 00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:17,011 "16 reasons we'd love to stay at the Gramercy." 234 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,679 I think you'd be great for it. 235 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,348 Oh, amazing. Definitely. 236 00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:21,682 Thank you so much. 237 00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:23,225 The only thing is, um, they need it by tomorrow, 238 00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:24,393 so can you check in tonight? 239 00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:25,728 Yes. Uh, one question. 240 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,313 Is it against protocol to bring my boyfriend? 241 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,981 'Cause we were planning a little celebration tonight 242 00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:30,649 'cause he actually got cast in a Broadway show. 243 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:33,277 Broadway, huh? Hmm. Well, have fun. 244 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,491 What the fuck is "have fun" supposed to mean? 245 00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,242 I think it just means you should have fun. 246 00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:41,327 That's it. 247 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,828 Or did she mean, like, "Have fun now 248 00:11:42,912 --> 00:11:45,206 "because Broadway is the most seductive of mistresses"? 249 00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:47,083 What? No. Why would it mean that? 250 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:50,711 I'm sorry. Patti LuPone just really fucked with my head. 251 00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:52,004 I feel crazy. 252 00:11:52,088 --> 00:11:53,881 - Checks, ladies. - Thank you. 253 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,633 Thank you. 254 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,472 Oh, my God. 255 00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:03,516 Okay, I think they forgot to take taxes out. 256 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,768 - This does not make sense. - This your first paycheck? 257 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:07,937 No, this is the right amount. 258 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,940 This is how much money I make a week? 259 00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:13,526 - Yeah. - This is a lot more than my rent! 260 00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:14,860 This is insane. I'm just gonna, like, 261 00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:17,905 walk into a store in the Meatpacking District and just be like, "Make it rain." 262 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,501 Sweet Emma, everybody. 263 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,547 Come get your baby shoes. 264 00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:32,146 Fucking no. 265 00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:35,149 My will-o'-wisp. 266 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:38,444 What the fuck are you doing here? 267 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:39,612 Darling, don't be vulgar. 268 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:41,113 You know I hate it when you're vulgar. 269 00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:42,781 Don't need to be vulgar to make your point. 270 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,700 What a charming situation you have. 271 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,744 Oh, my God. 272 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,997 Beautiful little Dust Bowl orphan. I love it. 273 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,833 - How on earth did you find me? - I came looking for you. 274 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,002 I walked all the way to the address that you gave me. 275 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,254 I even threw little stones at your window 276 00:13:57,338 --> 00:13:59,798 until some teensy-tiny little moppet opened up, 277 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,843 looked out and said, "Are you there to rape me?" 278 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:06,138 Oh, Shoshanna. Fucking Shoshanna. 279 00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:08,724 Are you angry with me because it's taken me so long to find you? 280 00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,267 Are you insane? 281 00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:12,728 Can you not see how well I'm doing? 282 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,397 I have a job, I eat lunch every day, 283 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:18,025 and I make transactions and I get paid. 284 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,569 Look at you, Jessamyn. You're trying so hard. 285 00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:22,071 Don't you see that it's just pretend? 286 00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,949 - No, no. I'm healthy. - No, no, no. 287 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,118 I'm healthy, and the last thing I need is to be hanging out with you. 288 00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:29,787 You can lie to your friends, you can lie to your parents, 289 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,330 you can lie to the mirror, but you can't lie to me 290 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:34,166 because I see who you truly are. 291 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,168 Oh, really? And who's that? 292 00:14:36,252 --> 00:14:38,128 You're a wild thing. You can't be tamed. 293 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,465 I mean, we are not the kind of people that sit around in a store like this 294 00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,385 selling $200 bathing suits to toddlers. 295 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,844 That's not who we are. 296 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,596 - You're high. - No, no, no. 297 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,307 I'm just excited to be in New York and to see you. 298 00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:53,143 I know what you need. Come away with me. I know what you need. 299 00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:55,729 I'm not even attracted to you. 300 00:14:55,813 --> 00:14:56,897 - Oh, even better. - I would... 301 00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:57,982 - No! - Yes! 302 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,442 I was wearing rehab goggles. 303 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:12,079 Holy crap. This is so nice. 304 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,373 It's not that nice. How much do you get in incidentals? 305 00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,542 - What are those? - You need somebody to explain to you 306 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:19,795 your new moneyed lifestyle, and I'm happy to be that person. 307 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,880 Okay, let's order a bunch of stuff that Adam loves, 308 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,882 then make a big-ass sign. 309 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,593 Just calm down. The room's enough. 310 00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:27,428 But he's gonna be on Broadway. 311 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,762 I know. 312 00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:31,181 I have to admit, I never thought he'd be the first. 313 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:33,934 - The first what? - To fulfill his dream. 314 00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,477 Well, that's not true. 315 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:38,314 We've all fulfilled various dreams in various ways. 316 00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:39,940 Also, I'm getting so sick of people 317 00:15:40,024 --> 00:15:42,860 acting like Adam's newfound success in this arena 318 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,278 is gonna come between us. 319 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,488 I didn't say that. Why are you acting weird? 320 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,324 I could not be acting more normal. 321 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,700 Oh, my God. 322 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,286 I cannot believe that you have a room at the Gramercy. 323 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,913 Do you know they have Mario Badescu products in the bathroom here? 324 00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,457 I am totally stealing some of those. 325 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,250 What are we celebrating? 326 00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:00,628 - Adam's gonna be on Broadway. - Oh, my God. 327 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:02,296 Are you afraid he's gonna leave you for Sutton Foster? 328 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,380 Oh. 329 00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,299 What the fuck is with everybody? 330 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,675 No. 331 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,600 I'm in a shitty mood. 332 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:17,436 You know, every morning I wake up feeling really good, 333 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,688 feeling like I'm ready to take on the day. 334 00:16:19,772 --> 00:16:22,816 Like, I don't know, I want to fucking say good morning to strangers. 335 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,276 Shit I usually hate. 336 00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:27,738 And then, without fail, something happens at the yogurt shop 337 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,658 that really just fucks my shit up. Ruins my whole day. 338 00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:34,078 By the way, your Netflix came. Bridget Jones 2? Seriously? 339 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:38,666 Ah. 340 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,626 I can't do this. 341 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,086 What do you mean? 342 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,880 I mean... 343 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,757 I don't want to do this. 344 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:48,967 Um... 345 00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,095 I want a girlfriend, Marnie. 346 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,430 Like, a legitimate girlfriend. 347 00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:56,433 You know, I want to have a relationship that's deep 348 00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:58,894 and sincere and challenging and scary. 349 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,562 Not, you know... 350 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,023 I want it to be real. 351 00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:05,067 I want to meet a girl that I have a lot in common with 352 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,069 and ask her out and learn about her family 353 00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,612 on a park bench in the middle of the night. 354 00:17:08,696 --> 00:17:11,198 And if things go really well, maybe invite her back to my place 355 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,866 and put on some Roxy Music. 356 00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:14,868 You know? 357 00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,370 So, you're dumping me? 358 00:17:19,123 --> 00:17:20,833 Are you fucking serious? 359 00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:23,502 You can't break up with me, Ray. I don't care about this. 360 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:26,380 I wouldn't be eating pizza in front of you if I actually liked you. 361 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,550 I realize this doesn't make sense biologically... 362 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,635 Was this your plan the whole time, Ray? 363 00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:34,388 To humiliate the girl that you couldn't get in high school? 364 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:38,308 Well, guess what? It's not gonna fucking work because I don't care. 365 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,403 Hello? 366 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,577 Jesus fucking Christ. 367 00:17:57,703 --> 00:18:00,038 - Hello? - Congratulations! 368 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,915 Are you fucking... 369 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,710 - You're a nut. - You're a nut for the stage. 370 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,211 - I love you. - Congratulations. 371 00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,880 That's really sweet. 372 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,965 Hannah, this is, um, Desi. He's playing... 373 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,675 - Bill Walker? - Yes. 374 00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,719 - You just look like such a Bill Walker. - Thanks. 375 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,262 I'm just a crazy Major Barbara fan 376 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,306 and kind of obsessed with Shaw in general. 377 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,807 Oh, smart girl. 378 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,476 Hi. 379 00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:21,977 - Hey. - Hi, sorry, I recognize you 380 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,604 from your part on One Tree Hill. 381 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:25,773 You were Lennon, the disabled gay hockey player. 382 00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,275 Yes, yeah. Super lucky part. 383 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,277 I'm not what you would call a One Tree Hill fan, 384 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,945 but I have seen every episode, 385 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:37,034 and you really just are taking up their game a notch. 386 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:39,661 Thank you. Thanks. 387 00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,955 So, I'm in Idaho, back country, 388 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:43,457 all I have is a saddle blanket, 389 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,667 buck knife, some water I packed in, 390 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:50,214 and I realize that it's my mom's birthday, right? 391 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:53,467 Now, I fucked up loads of stuff in my life, 392 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,344 I'm not gonna forget my mom's birthday. 393 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,971 - You wouldn't do that. - You would never do that. 394 00:18:58,055 --> 00:18:59,973 All of a sudden, I see a structure. 395 00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:01,391 Maybe it's a fire tower 396 00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:03,310 or some kind of ranger station, long forgotten. 397 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,312 I don't understand... 398 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,647 Okay. Okay. 399 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,525 And just as I get through the door, I almost step on... 400 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,654 Congratulations, Adam. Oh, my God, so exciting. 401 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,989 Are you, uh, okay? 402 00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,158 Me? Yeah, so good. 403 00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:19,535 I'm just gonna run to the restroom. 404 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:21,286 - I'll be right back. - Okay. 405 00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,542 Ha! That is a fucking closet. 406 00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:29,753 Okay, I don't know what I'm in trouble for now, but... 407 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:34,758 So there I am on a sort of vision quest... 408 00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:39,805 Marn? 409 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:41,640 Come in. 410 00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,520 Hey, what's going on? 411 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,438 Nothing. 412 00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,108 - Are you sure? - Dead sure. 413 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,902 Okay, what's wrong? 414 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,324 I can't tell you. 415 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:00,802 Are they fucking kidding me? 416 00:21:00,886 --> 00:21:02,971 I hate myself for loving him. 417 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:23,492 So after shows, you can really only go, like, two places. 418 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,328 You can go to the Glass House Tavern or you can go to Bar Centrale. 419 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:28,246 Bar Centrale is really more for, like, 420 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,999 the famous, you know, stars of the show, 421 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:34,044 and then Glass House is more for, like, the chorus kids. 422 00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,339 And also one time I read this interview with Sarah Jessica Parker in Backstage, 423 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:41,301 and she was saying that it's super important to learn the names of all of the crew. 424 00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:45,263 And, if you can, like, a couple of their wives because it means a lot to those people. 425 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,765 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 426 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:49,851 Um, don't you get tired of going to the bar afterwards? 427 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:51,353 Wouldn't you wanna go home and get some... 428 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:52,688 No, that's, like, part of the... 429 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:54,606 I mean, it's where you meet people and stuff. 430 00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:56,608 That's where one time I saw Tyne Daly get super drunk 431 00:21:56,692 --> 00:21:58,110 and fall down a flight of stairs. 432 00:21:58,193 --> 00:21:59,695 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 433 00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,321 - Oh, fuck. - I know, right? It's pretty awesome. 434 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,406 Hannah? 435 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:05,367 You know, your voice is really... 436 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,245 I'm trying to summon the right adjective here. 437 00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,706 - Grating? Is that what... - No, come on. 438 00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:12,082 No. 439 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,751 - I love that song. - Oh, yeah. 440 00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:16,962 - I love Michelle Branch. - Dylan. 441 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,173 Yeah, Dylan, too. 442 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:22,009 I'd love to hear some more of your music. 443 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:25,262 - Do you write? - Um, yeah. Really, do you... 444 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:26,847 Absolutely, yeah. 445 00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:30,392 Okay, I, uh... If I give you my e-mail address, 446 00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:32,269 then you can shoot me an e-mail so I have yours, 447 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:37,357 and then I'll just e-mail you my Dropbox folder of my latest attempts. 448 00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:38,900 See? "Attempts." Don't do that. 449 00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:41,194 Seriously. Don't deprecate yourself. 450 00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,905 Really, you're better than that. 451 00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,198 Okay. 452 00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:46,241 I don't know if Hannah's told you, 453 00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:48,118 but I'm really trying to make a concerted effort 454 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,663 to break out of the contemporary dance world, 455 00:22:51,747 --> 00:22:53,874 and if you could maybe give me an introduction 456 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,876 to the Broadway world, that'd be great. 457 00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,045 I mean, the closest I've gotten is, 458 00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:00,672 you know, a hand job from a guy from Pippin, 459 00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:02,340 - so it's like... Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 460 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,968 Marnface1988@aol.com. 461 00:23:05,052 --> 00:23:06,470 That's me. 462 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,722 All right, I should really hit the trail. 463 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,224 My Clementine's making paella tonight. 464 00:23:11,308 --> 00:23:13,560 - Is that a song? - No, that's like a... 465 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:16,897 Like a Valencian rice seafood dish. 466 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,232 Oh, it just sounded like a folk song. 467 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:21,735 I thought they were folk lyrics or something. 468 00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:25,238 "Gotta hit the trail, my Clementine's making paella tonight." 469 00:23:25,322 --> 00:23:28,241 No, that's, like, one of those big four-hander pans, 470 00:23:28,325 --> 00:23:30,452 so I gotta help take it off. 471 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,245 Okay. 472 00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:34,664 Roll on, John. 473 00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,294 If you ever need any, you know, help, if you have questions 474 00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:41,046 - about figuring out what's what. - You know, I don't. 475 00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,506 I think I'm good. 476 00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,841 I don't really want to be a part of the scene. 477 00:23:46,635 --> 00:23:47,928 The Broadway scene? 478 00:23:48,011 --> 00:23:49,429 Any scene. 479 00:23:49,513 --> 00:23:51,223 Well, don't come crying to me 480 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:54,392 when Kristin Chenoweth passes out 'cause you forgot to feed her. 481 00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,230 - Here's Johnny! - Yeah! 482 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,942 - Hi, I'm Jason. Hi, hi. - Hey. 483 00:24:02,025 --> 00:24:05,904 - Hi, hi. - Shosh, so great to see you! 484 00:24:05,987 --> 00:24:07,197 - Oh, hi. - I know everybody's name 485 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,323 because she told me. 486 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:09,866 Buck. 487 00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:11,368 Uh... 488 00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:12,994 - Obadiah. - Yep. 489 00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:14,246 - Uh, Janet. - Mmm-hmm. 490 00:24:14,329 --> 00:24:17,582 - Raquel, Snoop. - Yep. 491 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:19,876 Hazel. See? Told ya. 492 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,003 - Come on. - Pretty good. 493 00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:27,467 So we maybe shouldn't have taken her out of rehab. 494 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:29,219 Higher education is elitist horseshit 495 00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:30,762 - perpetrated by a bunch of privileged hacks... - Mmm-hmm. 496 00:24:30,846 --> 00:24:33,098 ...who think accumulating degrees amounts to a meaningful life. 497 00:24:33,181 --> 00:24:34,224 I know, I know. 498 00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:35,684 But, like, I am out of there in three weeks. 499 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,936 Like, I am done, I am graduating, I am done with that. 500 00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,062 They say they're teaching you to think, 501 00:24:39,146 --> 00:24:41,022 but really they're teaching you to think like everybody else. 502 00:24:41,106 --> 00:24:43,567 I know! I know! It's like, literally, I swear to God, 503 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,193 sometimes I feel like I am in The Truman Show, 504 00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:47,487 but it's, like, really just a walking American Apparel ad 505 00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:48,613 and I don't even know it. 506 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:49,698 Too late for you, then, poor baby. 507 00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:51,825 - Have you got any cocaine? - No, I don't do cocaine. 508 00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:53,160 But you're clearly on cocaine. 509 00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:54,661 Oh, no, everybody thinks that, 510 00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,663 but I just have really chronic congestion 511 00:24:56,746 --> 00:24:58,081 and, like, a terribly fast mouth. 512 00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:00,709 Is this living or is this living, my flower? 513 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,419 - This is living. - Oh! 514 00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,838 Uh, have you got more coke? 515 00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:06,339 Have you got more money? 516 00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:08,175 No, but I know where to get some. 517 00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:11,261 - Oh, you do? - Yes! I do, I do, I do. 518 00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:22,606 Yes! Can you believe I remembered that? 519 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:25,275 - Okay, okay, okay. - You're a legend. 520 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,905 No. 521 00:25:29,988 --> 00:25:31,990 No. 522 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,078 Oh, my God. 523 00:25:37,162 --> 00:25:39,497 Who keeps their money in a shoebox? 524 00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:41,082 We will. 525 00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:42,876 Oh, my God. 526 00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:55,180 Okay, all right, all right. 527 00:25:58,225 --> 00:26:02,437 Elijah talks a lot about really stupid shit. 528 00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,981 Okay, well, maybe that's what I think 529 00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:08,526 about that weird folk-singing grifter you brought over. 530 00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,529 - Desi? - "Desi"? Yeah. 531 00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:14,908 - What? - Yeah, I found him irksome. 532 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:17,077 You don't have to say that to get revenge on me. 533 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,912 I'm not gonna say something to get revenge on you. 534 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:21,206 This isn't like Count of Monte Cristo. 535 00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:24,751 I'm so proud of you. 536 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,253 I'm so proud of you. 537 00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:30,548 I don't know how to say this without it coming out sounding horrible. 538 00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:33,134 I don't want you 539 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,553 to get so, um... 540 00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,932 Happy doing the play that you... 541 00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:42,185 Uh, don't like our life together anymore. 542 00:26:45,563 --> 00:26:47,565 Are you upset I'm doing the play? 543 00:26:49,234 --> 00:26:50,652 No. 544 00:26:50,944 --> 00:26:52,445 No. 545 00:26:52,529 --> 00:26:54,614 I'm so happy you're doing what makes you happy, 546 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:58,118 because I love you, and you're the only person I've ever loved, 547 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:00,537 and you're the only person I ever wanna love, so... 548 00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:03,623 Well, ditto. 549 00:27:07,585 --> 00:27:08,962 Okay, good. 550 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,339 Then... 551 00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:14,134 Do your lines. 552 00:27:14,217 --> 00:27:15,885 - No. - Do your lines. 553 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,470 No. 554 00:27:18,388 --> 00:27:20,473 - No. - Please? 555 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:23,768 - I don't wanna. - Please, please? 556 00:27:23,852 --> 00:27:27,188 "Not that kind of snob, but a genteel sort." 557 00:27:27,272 --> 00:27:28,857 - Can you do it with the accent, please? - "I'm too..." 558 00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:30,859 "Not that kind of snob, but the genteel sort. 559 00:27:30,942 --> 00:27:33,153 - No. - "I'm too uppish, owing to my intelligence, 560 00:27:33,236 --> 00:27:35,989 "and my father being a Chartist and a reading, a thinking man, 561 00:27:36,072 --> 00:27:37,824 "a stationer, too. 562 00:27:37,907 --> 00:27:41,077 "I am none of your common hewers of wood and drawers of water. 563 00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:43,371 "And don't you forget it." 564 00:27:44,205 --> 00:27:45,832 It's so good. 565 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,460 You're so good at that.