1
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,851
Boo!
2
00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:19,020
Oh, my God, Caroline.
3
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:21,523
Oh. Don't worry.
I'm not here to suck your young blood.
4
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,691
Okay.
5
00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:25,402
Just getting our mail, my little fawn. Hi.
6
00:00:25,485 --> 00:00:27,862
Hi, where are your shoes?
7
00:00:27,946 --> 00:00:30,240
Why do I need my shoes?
I'm just in my hallway.
8
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:34,119
Hey, baby, if there's a note from the library,
will you just leave it in there?
9
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,955
I don't want to see it.
It's gonna stress my brain out.
10
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,707
Okay, got it, marble cheek.
11
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:41,960
Hey, um, do you know where the iced tea is?
I was looking and I couldn't find it.
12
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,254
All I saw was the kombucha mother. Is it...
13
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:45,463
Sweetie, it's in the iced tea pitcher
14
00:00:45,547 --> 00:00:49,092
that we got at the garage sale upstate
on the iced tea shelf.
15
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,803
- In the fridge?
- In the fridge.
16
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,556
Okay. I'll see you later.
17
00:00:54,639 --> 00:00:57,976
- I'll be in in a minute.
- All right. Bye, Hannah.
18
00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:03,022
- So, you're...
- Yeah, with Laird.
19
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,274
- Wow.
- God, it turns out
20
00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:07,485
he is just an extremely
integrated human being, Hannah.
21
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:08,778
- I never would've known.
- Yeah.
22
00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:11,698
We've been up at his brother's compound
in upstate New York
23
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:14,784
just getting as healthy as we everly can
24
00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:18,580
because we are actually...
25
00:01:20,165 --> 00:01:21,916
- Having a baby?
- Yeah.
26
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,211
- Oh, God, I feel amazing, Hannah.
- Can I? Um...
27
00:01:25,295 --> 00:01:26,588
- Please, yeah.
- Wow.
28
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,381
You know,
we're not gonna find out, of course.
29
00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,759
We want it to be a surprise,
but I know, you know?
30
00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:35,972
I can feel the labia forming. This is a woman.
31
00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:41,478
It definitely feels as though
there is a vagina coming together.
32
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:44,022
Um...
33
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,106
How is Adam?
34
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:46,608
Oh. Adam's, um, amazing.
35
00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:50,945
He got a part in a Broadway play,
so he's doing, like, the best ever.
36
00:01:51,029 --> 00:01:52,113
That is so good to hear.
37
00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:55,617
You know, I really hope
this brings him closer to his truth.
38
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,787
You know, hopefully,
and that he doesn't shuck you off
39
00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:00,789
like a piece of summer corn in the process...
40
00:02:00,872 --> 00:02:02,916
- Yeah.
- ...as he'll do.
41
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:05,835
Okay, off to take my folic acid.
42
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,004
And then some!
43
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,641
Garbage.
44
00:02:20,892 --> 00:02:22,519
Bullshit.
45
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:24,229
That guy's dead.
46
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:33,404
Fuck!
47
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,688
If you're here to tell me
what a bad person I am,
48
00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:09,232
I don't wanna hear it. Seriously, I know.
49
00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:11,693
And, no, I have not told
Shoshanna yet, but I will,
50
00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:13,194
and I fucking know I have to do it.
51
00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:18,575
And I know that I need to have more respect
for the emotional property of other women,
52
00:03:18,658 --> 00:03:22,704
and I know that I use sex for validation
'cause it's what I do,
53
00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,664
- but just...
- I got into Iowa.
54
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,624
What?
55
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:31,379
I got into Iowa Writers' Workshop,
which is graduate school.
56
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,256
Hannah!
57
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:36,926
Oh, my God! Are you... Oh, my God.
58
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,012
This is the most... I'm sorry I got you so wet.
59
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,306
- Don't worry!
- Holy shit.
60
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:44,434
Hannah, that's, like,
the best MFA program in the world.
61
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:45,935
I know!
62
00:03:46,019 --> 00:03:49,480
- Hannah, holy shit.
- I know.
63
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,232
You're gonna, like, live in Iowa.
64
00:03:51,316 --> 00:03:52,775
Well, I don't know if I'm gonna go.
65
00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:55,862
Hannah, you got into Iowa. You fucking go.
66
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,073
So think about it.
67
00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:00,617
It's all I'm asking.
68
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:04,329
Beadie, it's not gonna happen.
69
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,122
You're selfish, that's what it is.
70
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:09,208
I can tell you've never done
another thing for another person.
71
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,087
Beadie, I am not going
to help you kill yourself.
72
00:04:13,171 --> 00:04:15,924
Really, I cannot keep having this discussion.
73
00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:17,008
- Okay.
- The first day,
74
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,929
I thought it was colorful and cute.
Now it's just getting bizarre.
75
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,513
Please, I beg you to stop.
76
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:26,434
Oh, well, fine. Well, why don't you just go?
77
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:29,604
- Are you firing me?
- I'm not firing you.
78
00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:32,398
But I just had in mind something different.
79
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:38,029
Do you know that I wake up every day
80
00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:41,991
disappointed that I didn't die in the night?
81
00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:43,952
No, I don't blame you.
82
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,956
So, let me get this straight.
83
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:51,793
You hired me because you knew
I could get you drugs.
84
00:04:54,212 --> 00:04:56,923
I hired you because
85
00:04:57,006 --> 00:05:00,301
I thought you were the only person
86
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:03,429
who would see how necessary this was.
87
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:06,933
Listen to me.
88
00:05:09,394 --> 00:05:12,647
I'm tired. My body's gone.
89
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:16,192
And I'm compassionate to that,
but I just, um...
90
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:19,070
I'm in so much pain, Jessa.
91
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,700
I can see that.
92
00:05:24,409 --> 00:05:26,160
I just...
93
00:05:27,704 --> 00:05:29,163
Processing.
94
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:30,790
Just do it.
95
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:32,750
For me.
96
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,045
Fuck.
97
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,387
Hi, I'm Shoshanna Shapiro.
98
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:47,515
"S" as in Sam, "H" as in Hank,
"A" as in Apple, "P" as in Paltrow...
99
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,100
Yeah, I can spell.
100
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,978
So, I ordered your cap and gown
in the traditional violet,
101
00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:53,980
and I also ordered the protective
plastic poncho
102
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,481
just in case of, like, inclement weather.
103
00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:59,986
And I will be carrying my Aunt Ilene's
NYU graduation flag from, like, 1922.
104
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:02,613
Looks like your name has been flagged.
105
00:06:02,989 --> 00:06:06,367
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I just said I'm carrying
my Aunt Ilene's flag.
106
00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:09,787
No, I mean, I can't give you
your graduation materials.
107
00:06:09,871 --> 00:06:11,789
You gotta go see your advisor.
108
00:06:12,457 --> 00:06:14,792
That doesn't make any sense. I...
109
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,463
I'm gonna need some more information.
110
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,715
I'm just a junior. Sorry.
111
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,176
Next?
112
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,972
Excuse me!
113
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,253
Hey, Shosh. Is this a good time?
114
00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:00,505
Yeah.
115
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:02,632
What's up?
116
00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:04,425
Not graduating. That's what's up.
117
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:06,052
What? Why?
118
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,428
Apparently I'm missing three credits
119
00:07:07,512 --> 00:07:09,430
because my fucking cunt
of a glaciology professor
120
00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:12,225
decided to fail the shit out of me, so...
121
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,061
- Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
- Mm-hmm.
122
00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:20,024
Do you think maybe you were
a little distracted this semester?
123
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,361
- Yeah, maybe.
- 'Cause I get that.
124
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,404
My junior year at Oberlin,
125
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,533
when Charlie and I first got together,
we were so lazy.
126
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,618
Like, all we did was eat frozen waffles
and lie in bed
127
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,120
and watch old episodes of Blossom,
128
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:35,123
and I just did not go to my
Intro to Hinduism class.
129
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:38,042
I couldn't motivate, couldn't do it, didn't do it.
130
00:07:38,126 --> 00:07:40,002
And then when they announced the final,
131
00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:44,382
I was probably too scared to fail that,
so I didn't go to that either.
132
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:48,469
Thank you.
133
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,932
It is really helpful to know
that you were a fuck-up, too.
134
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,225
Okay.
135
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:57,228
And I hate to change the subject,
136
00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,481
and we can come back to this,
we should come back to this. Um...
137
00:08:00,565 --> 00:08:03,359
But there's just something
I feel like you should know.
138
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:04,652
Um...
139
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:06,195
And it's probably not a big deal,
140
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:10,992
and you're probably gonna be, like, insulted
that I even implied that you would care, but...
141
00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,411
I slept with Ray.
142
00:08:13,786 --> 00:08:14,787
Um...
143
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,624
More than once,
sometimes multiple times a night.
144
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,001
Um...
145
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:23,838
But it came from, like,
a deep place of insecurity.
146
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,591
I'm not proud, at all,
147
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:29,302
and I just wanted you to know that.
148
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,428
Um...
149
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,930
But I was hoping we could just, uh...
150
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:35,600
You know, you've been
going through a lot of stuff,
151
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,727
so I was hoping we could just,
like, talk that through,
152
00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:39,395
go to the theater... Oh, my God!
153
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:42,106
I hate you!
154
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:02,793
Hello?
155
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,129
Hannah?
156
00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:06,714
Hi, Mommy, hi, Daddy.
157
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,090
Hey, how are you, doll?
158
00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:09,967
Good, I'm good.
I have some big news.
159
00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:12,345
Is it about the growth on your tongue?
160
00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:14,639
No, it's that I'm, um...
161
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:17,058
I got into graduate school.
162
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:19,644
- What?
- Holy wow!
163
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,604
I didn't even know you were applying!
164
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,898
Yeah, Iowa Writers' Workshop.
165
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,734
Oh, honey, that is amazing.
166
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,903
It's exciting. I'm doing a little jig here.
167
00:09:29,487 --> 00:09:32,156
I don't know if I'm gonna actually go.
168
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,283
I don't know if it's really a good time
for me to, like...
169
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:38,246
To, what, change the course
of your entire professional life?
170
00:09:38,329 --> 00:09:40,081
Well, honey, it is a big choice.
171
00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:42,375
Yeah, Mom, it's a really big choice.
It's not that simple.
172
00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:44,835
It's like this is where I live, you know?
173
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:46,587
I'd have to find new friends.
174
00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:48,589
I'd have to find a new place to buy yogurt.
175
00:09:48,673 --> 00:09:50,967
Plus, I don't really know if writing
is something that can be taught,
176
00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,885
although I have to say,
the last four years of my life
177
00:09:52,969 --> 00:09:55,471
have been a total wash, we can all admit that.
178
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:58,474
Well, I'm glad you're being honest
with yourself.
179
00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:01,352
Wait, hold the phone. Are you kidding me?
180
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:05,106
When opportunities like this arise,
you figure it out.
181
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,567
You say yes and you figure it out.
182
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,778
- That's how this works.
- Your mother is right.
183
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,656
Big chances are never small stakes, honey.
184
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,741
Oh, my God.
185
00:10:15,825 --> 00:10:18,286
You guys sound like
you're really proud of me.
186
00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,371
- Just go ahead.
- Just go ahead.
187
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,540
We'll figure it out.
188
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,208
We'll figure it out.
189
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:25,793
Whoo!
190
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,877
Whoo!
191
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,386
Enter, governor!
192
00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:40,433
So, you're really stickin' with the accent?
193
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,144
- Hey.
- I have to.
194
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:46,731
Not gonna work without a bit of practice.
195
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,817
The security guard tried to stop me,
but Desi let me in.
196
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,194
I'm sorry to barge in or whatever.
197
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:54,488
Um, I know you need your space,
198
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:58,576
but I wanted to tell you
that, um, I'm so proud of you.
199
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,496
I'm so proud of you.
200
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:07,335
You've taught me so much
about perseverance,
201
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,755
and commitment, and creativity.
202
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,509
Well, I love you.
203
00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:17,261
I love you, too.
204
00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:20,890
I love you.
205
00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:26,020
And before I go, which I will do in a second,
206
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:30,524
I wanted to tell you
that I got into grad school,
207
00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:34,195
in Iowa, at the Iowa Writers' Workshop,
208
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:37,573
and I didn't expect it, but the thing is,
209
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,910
it's like watching you thrive creatively
210
00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:42,703
over these past few weeks,
211
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,122
it's made me want to thrive.
212
00:11:45,206 --> 00:11:47,375
It's made me want to find a hole in the world
213
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:51,045
in the shape of me and just fill it up.
214
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:54,173
- And I know that sounds crazy...
- It doesn't sound crazy.
215
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,555
And I have to decide soon. And, um...
216
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,516
And I think I'm gonna tell them yes.
217
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,060
And then figure it out.
218
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,938
'Cause that's what people do.
219
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:12,191
We can figure it out, and then
we can be one of those artist couples...
220
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,902
Who are doing different
things in different rooms
221
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:18,239
and they call to each other
and say, "Look at what I'm doing."
222
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,658
- Okay?
- Okay.
223
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,536
Don't just break one leg, break all your legs.
224
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,583
Bye, sir.
225
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,043
Later.
226
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,552
I haven't been to a Broadway show
227
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,388
since my parents drove me in
to see a matinee of Falsettos,
228
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:45,307
at which point they told me
my grandparents were getting divorced.
229
00:12:45,391 --> 00:12:48,185
We should try to get you a blazer
before the show starts.
230
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:49,270
What's wrong with this?
231
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:52,231
I'm just so excited for Adam.
Look at all these people!
232
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,441
What's gotten into you?
233
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,901
You were in such a deep groove,
begrudging the success of others.
234
00:12:56,986 --> 00:12:58,946
- Hi. Hi.
- Hey.
235
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,906
I'll be right back.
236
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,867
Bye, Shosh. Good talk.
237
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,661
We're gonna have a chat.
238
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,247
At intermission,
you're gonna buy me some M&M's
239
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,875
and we're gonna have a fucking chat.
240
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:16,964
Oh, um...
241
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:20,134
I'm not quite ready to put my shirt on, Stacy.
Thank you, love.
242
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,927
No, no, no, it's me, it's Marnie.
243
00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,221
- They're not letting me in.
- Don't worry, I got her.
244
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:25,764
No, no, Oscar, it's okay. She's a friend.
245
00:13:28,726 --> 00:13:29,810
Hey.
246
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:31,312
- Hello.
- Hi.
247
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,647
- Happy opening night.
- Oh, thank you.
248
00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:36,817
It's so exciting. Wow.
249
00:13:36,901 --> 00:13:39,820
I've always wanted to know what it's like
in a Broadway dressing room.
250
00:13:39,904 --> 00:13:42,198
- Yeah.
- How cool is this?
251
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,908
Lot of ghosts, you know?
252
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,828
I'm sorry, I'm kind of, like,
half in the play, half here.
253
00:13:47,912 --> 00:13:50,498
No, no, no, totally. I will get out of your hair.
254
00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:55,044
I just wanted to give you
a little opening night present.
255
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,129
- What?
- It's nothing.
256
00:13:57,213 --> 00:13:58,672
Really, it's nothing.
257
00:13:58,756 --> 00:14:00,674
You'll see.
258
00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:01,842
Thank you.
259
00:14:01,926 --> 00:14:03,844
It's, um... Well, you'll see.
260
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:09,350
It, uh, belonged to James Taylor. It's his pick.
261
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,897
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- I just... I know that he's a hero of yours,
262
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,192
both in his music and also in the honest way
that he lives his life.
263
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,612
- So break a leg.
- Thank you. Thank you.
264
00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:57,064
Um...
265
00:14:57,815 --> 00:14:59,316
Okay.
266
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,235
I'm gonna, um...
267
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,945
I'm gonna go.
268
00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:06,198
Uh...
269
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,324
Break a leg. I'll see you after.
270
00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:10,077
- Thank you. I will see you after.
- Okay.
271
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,455
What are you so cheerful about?
272
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,916
'Cause it does not look like
it went that well with Shoshanna.
273
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,335
No, no, it's fine. We worked it out.
It'll be fine.
274
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,670
Um...
275
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,172
Desi kissed me.
276
00:15:24,008 --> 00:15:26,927
- Are you fucking serious?
- I'm dead serious.
277
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:28,929
Marnie, that's another person
with a girlfriend.
278
00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:30,848
- He kissed me...
- Ladies and gentlemen,
279
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,641
- welcome to the Belasco Theater.
- Guys. Shh.
280
00:15:32,725 --> 00:15:35,060
Please remember that the use of photography
281
00:15:35,144 --> 00:15:38,314
and any recording device
is strictly prohibited.
282
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:41,483
And please silence all cell phones.
Thank you.
283
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,820
- You guys, silence your phones.
- It's been silent.
284
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,780
- Ray, don't take pictures.
- Okay.
285
00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:51,785
What's the matter?
286
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:53,621
Why are they talking like that?
287
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,998
- It's not Shakespeare.
- They're British.
288
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:59,001
- Presently, Stephen.
- But it's called Major Barbara.
289
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,920
So?
290
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,882
Shoshanna, ask questions at intermission.
291
00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,010
Adam wasn't even in the first act.
292
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,472
He's, like, a major part
of the second act, though.
293
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:14,808
I have to say, I'm really gonna be sad
living in the city without you.
294
00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:18,812
You're not gonna be without me all the time.
I'm gonna be back and forth. I'll be bicoastal.
295
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,689
Iowa's not a coast.
296
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,109
It's a figure of speech. I'm gonna pee.
297
00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:28,447
The show is not gonna get good notices.
298
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,990
Desi kissed the shit out of me.
299
00:16:30,074 --> 00:16:32,451
What? He's so cute.
300
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,661
Oh, my God, I know.
301
00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:36,163
- I was not expecting it...
- Oh, Marnie.
302
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:39,958
...and it was the best.
Elijah, it was so satisfying.
303
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,002
I have to say, I don't see that
ending well for you, though.
304
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:44,254
- What do you mean?
- I'm really intuitive about these things.
305
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,715
I've predicted two of my friends' divorces,
306
00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:49,968
one pregnancy,
and a couple of natural disasters.
307
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,137
Are these the ones you wanted?
308
00:16:52,805 --> 00:16:54,181
Yeah?
309
00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,480
Intermission's kind of short, so if you...
310
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,607
You know, if there's something
you wanted to...
311
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,862
Okay, I'll go first. I'm sorry.
312
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:13,951
But if memory serves,
you're the one who jettisoned me a while ago.
313
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,911
And you weren't very discreet
314
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:17,830
about keeping your assignations
out of my face,
315
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,915
so I can't be that sorry at the end of the day.
316
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:23,001
Right? I mean I really can't.
317
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,712
I want you back.
318
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,632
- What?
- I want you back.
319
00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:31,552
I decided that... I want you back. I...
320
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,429
I miss you.
321
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,347
I made a mistake.
322
00:17:35,431 --> 00:17:38,600
And this whole entire year of freedom
was just fucking stupid
323
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:41,478
and I want to be with you again.
324
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:45,190
Shosh, I know you don't really...
325
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,236
You're jealous 'cause I went swimming
at the country club with Marnie? Is that it?
326
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:53,282
What? No. Because you make me
a more stable human.
327
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:56,076
And you make me want to be
the best version of myself,
328
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,619
and I just want to be your girlfriend again,
329
00:17:57,703 --> 00:18:01,498
and I want to pretend that
I was never not your girlfriend before.
330
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:07,171
I love you. I love you.
331
00:18:08,172 --> 00:18:11,550
Shosh, okay, look,
I'm eternally grateful to you
332
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:14,094
'cause I have a real job now,
with real responsibilities.
333
00:18:14,178 --> 00:18:16,847
I have my first credit card.
I've got a credenza. I've got a cactus plant.
334
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,725
That's because of you. You understand?
335
00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:23,604
You pushed me forward in a lot of ways,
and I'm eternally appreciative of that.
336
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:26,982
Okay? But right now,
we're in different places.
337
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,068
And we have very, very, very different goals.
338
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,781
Please? Please?
339
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,784
It's like, it's not a matter of...
340
00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,368
Please?
341
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,207
We should go upstairs.
342
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,845
Feel better after your meal, sir?
343
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,889
No, call that a meal?
344
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,974
- Good enough for you, perhaps...
- Hannah!
345
00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:02,476
- But what's it to me...
- Hannah?
346
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:03,977
...an intelligent working man?
347
00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:05,979
"Working man"? What are ya?
348
00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:07,981
- A painter.
- Oh, yes, I...
349
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:09,983
Yes, I daresay, I know.
350
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,237
Every loafer who can't do nothing
calls himself a painter.
351
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,657
- Well, I'm a real painter, grainer, finisher...
- He's really good.
352
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,575
Thirty-eight bob a week, if I can get it.
353
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,994
Well, why don't you go and get it?
354
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:24,832
I'll tell you why. First, I'm intelligent.
355
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:25,999
Ha!
356
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,669
It's rotten cold here.
357
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,129
Yes, intelligent beyond the station of life
358
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,591
into which it has pleased
the capitalists to call me.
359
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:39,263
You are both very naughty children.
360
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,181
What do you want, Barbara?
361
00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:44,351
I want a house
and a village to live in with Dolly.
362
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,478
Come and tell me which one to take.
363
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:49,273
6:00 tomorrow morning, my young friend.
364
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:24,057
Oh, my God.
365
00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,268
Let's come every night.
366
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:43,118
Clementine. Oh, my gosh.
367
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:46,204
I, um, thought you were traveling.
368
00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:48,081
I'm back.
369
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:50,042
Desi's gonna be, um...
370
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,711
He's gonna be so excited
that you could be here tonight.
371
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:55,714
You know what? Can you cut the shit, please?
372
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,926
I mean, I know what you're up to.
It's written all over you.
373
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:01,178
I don't blame you. He's fucking sexy.
374
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,597
But if he hasn't realized it yet,
he's going to soon
375
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,683
that you're just, like, a sad, pathetic mess.
376
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,604
Clementine, please believe me.
I was not trying...
377
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,773
Seriously, shut the fuck up.
378
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:14,942
Has anyone ever taught you when to speak?
379
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,028
We're recording an album.
380
00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:21,281
Not anymore, you're not.
381
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,367
Nice dress.
382
00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,917
You're just gonna take... Take these.
383
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:36,338
You got 'em? You got it?
384
00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:38,465
Okay. So now...
385
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,345
More.
386
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,098
It's okay if you choke.
387
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:50,268
It's just a different route to the same thing.
388
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:54,147
I really feel great.
389
00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:57,234
Jessa, don't you take any of these pills
after I'm gone.
390
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,444
No, I won't. I...
391
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:05,158
Somehow they don't look nearly as fun
when they're being used to murder someone.
392
00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,243
Mmm.
393
00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:12,249
I am so moved that you would do this for me.
394
00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:17,546
Well, I didn't want to do it.
395
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,214
- You didn't want to...
- No.
396
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:20,340
But you did.
397
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:27,848
I have never...
398
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,143
Never mind.
399
00:22:34,146 --> 00:22:35,939
So, now,
400
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:39,609
I guess we just wait.
401
00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:46,116
The fucking celebrities
that come to these things are nuts.
402
00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:47,701
- Debi Mazar.
- Amazing.
403
00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:51,872
Rosie Perez, Mark Consuelos.
Sadly, no Kelly Ripa,
404
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,207
but there was, like,
a blonde with him that threw me for a second.
405
00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:55,876
- I can't believe...
- Wendy Williams.
406
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:57,544
- No.
- Treat Williams.
407
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:58,879
- From Everwood?
- Yes.
408
00:22:58,962 --> 00:23:00,380
Sam Champion...
409
00:23:00,464 --> 00:23:02,132
I mean, I did so much sense memory work.
410
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:03,633
- You know how hard I work.
- I could tell.
411
00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:06,303
Congratulations, you guys,
on your big achievement.
412
00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:09,639
- Thank you. It's all for him.
- Huh.
413
00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:12,392
- She's so cute in real life.
- Kind of douchy, though.
414
00:23:12,476 --> 00:23:13,894
- Hey!
- Hey!
415
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:16,480
- Congratulations! Awesome job!
- Right, thanks, hey.
416
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:19,149
- Hi, my love. You were amazing.
- So good.
417
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:20,901
No, I wasn't. I was fucking terrible.
418
00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:25,906
Are you kidding me?
Adam, I had full body chills.
419
00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:27,491
Yeah, she's not joking. She had chills.
420
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,618
- See you, guys.
- See you, man.
421
00:23:29,701 --> 00:23:32,662
Why did you tell me that thing about Iowa
right before I went onstage?
422
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:37,501
I fucking blew it.
423
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:41,463
Okay, do you live in, like, a parallel universe?
There's no way that was blowing it.
424
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:43,507
Everybody was talking about
how much they loved it.
425
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:45,717
Well, I don't care what everyone says,
I know if I'm good or not.
426
00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:49,179
This is exactly what I thought would happen.
This is exactly why I didn't want to see you.
427
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,181
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
428
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,059
I'm gonna go ahead,
429
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:57,604
and I will meet you guys
at the party, all right? I, uh...
430
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:03,652
Elijah loved the play.
431
00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:07,948
Oh, good.
432
00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:11,993
I told you that thing about grad school
433
00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:15,580
'cause I felt that it was really good news
for us as a couple.
434
00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:17,207
So now you're leaving me?
435
00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:21,128
Leaving you? Adam, you're the one
who moved out of our apartment.
436
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:25,590
I moved a few blocks away for a few weeks.
437
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:32,597
I know that this is complicated,
but I also know that we can work it out.
438
00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:35,016
Well, I'm sick of trying to work it out.
439
00:24:36,101 --> 00:24:37,769
Can't one thing ever be easy with you?
440
00:24:52,951 --> 00:24:55,620
Congratulations on a beautiful opening night.
441
00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:21,313
Call 9-1-1. I don't want to die.
442
00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:24,649
Call 9-1-1. I don't want to die!
443
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:26,693
- Okay.
- Call 9-1-1!
444
00:25:26,776 --> 00:25:29,404
- She changed her mind.
- Oh, God!
445
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:32,908
Oh, God. Okay.
446
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,041
Oopsie-daisy.
447
00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:04,022
I don't... I don't know what else to tell you.
What do you want me to say?
448
00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:07,442
I want you to not fuckin' walk away from me
when I'm trying to tell you how I feel.
449
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:09,569
In a fucking bar full of your theater friends?
450
00:26:09,653 --> 00:26:11,905
- What am I supposed to do?
- We were not by any of those people.
451
00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:13,865
We were in the corner.