1 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,678 (CAN'T NOBODY LOVE YOU PLAYING) 2 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,976 No. You didn't. 3 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,312 That all just looks... 4 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:05,815 Holy shit. 5 00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,021 Elijah? 6 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,608 - Elijah! - (GROANS) 7 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,324 Come on. 8 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,201 I ate the fuckers. Sue me. 9 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:02,997 That's so fucked up. Elijah, this is my cereal, okay? 10 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:07,293 You can't just waltz into town and eat another person's cereal. 11 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,629 (VOICE BREAKING) If what you want is cereal, 12 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:14,717 go to the store and get some cereal and put your name on it. 13 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,475 (DOOR SLAMS) 14 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,435 So unstable. 15 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,567 (BOTH MOANING) 16 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,619 Oh, my God! 17 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,998 (MOANING CONTINUES) 18 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,548 SCOTT: So we called it Madame Tinsley's 19 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,466 because we wanted something a bit ostentatious 20 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,635 to separate it from other instant soups 21 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,971 that are marketed as a cheap meal fix because our soup is made 22 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:04,809 with the finest dehydrated products available and I have an ex-girlfriend named Tinsley. 23 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,353 - So... - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 24 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,732 - Oh. Uh, so, yeah... No, if you, uh... - (CLEARS THROAT) 25 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,818 I didn't know you were done. If you want me to market this, 26 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,445 then I'm just gonna tell you right now that, um... 27 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,865 I just... I hate the name. So... 28 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,118 Well, that is not a good start. 29 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,996 You know that there are lots of people 30 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,499 who are applying for this job who have actually had jobs before. 31 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:29,917 Uh, yeah, like me. 32 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,627 Are you talking about these four... 33 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,462 - I mean, those four were absolutely... - Activities? 34 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,298 ...actual jobs. 35 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,674 - Jobs, Scott. - Camp counselor? 36 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,384 But, um, I mean, I would call that a job. 37 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,554 I don't know if you've ever been a camp counselor, but it is no easy feat. 38 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,639 Teenagers do it, for the most part, right? 39 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,641 - Uh, yeah. - I'm talking about, like, an adult job. 40 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,059 - So what is your... - I mean, I don't know, Scott. 41 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,686 Is this, like, what you wanted to do? 42 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,980 - (SCOFFS) Excuse me? - Was this your dream? 43 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,398 Like, fancy Cup O' Noodles? 44 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,442 Yes, this was my dream. Owning my own company. 45 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,319 And I started it with my two best friends, Jeremy and Simon. 46 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,237 - That's great. Oh. - This is exactly what I wanted to do. So... 47 00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,363 You and Jeremy and Simon were like, 48 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,908 "I wanna make, uh, old rice that smells like badussy?" 49 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,368 What's "badussy"? 50 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,078 Um, it's "butt, dick, and pussy." 51 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,580 Do you have some kind of problem with me? 52 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,248 - No. - What's going on? I don't understand. 53 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,750 - I don't have a problem with you, Scott. - No? 54 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,252 - No. Why would I have a problem with you? - I don't know. 55 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:16,589 I am so happy for you, and Jeremy, and Simon. 56 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,090 - Thank you. - Scott, "Harvard Alum Makes Good." 57 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,343 That is such an exciting story. 58 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,762 Do you mind if I write about it for Holy Shit Magazine? 59 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,097 Okay, all right, all right, all right. 60 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:32,146 Look, clearly you do not want this job, and, um, obviously I'm not gonna give it to you. 61 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:36,442 But, maybe you would still like to go for a drink sometime? 62 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,152 Yeah, absolutely. 63 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:42,698 MR. GOLD: ...allocations going to the drive-up book drop project, 64 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,328 but get nothing in terms of lighting. 65 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,791 I reviewed a public record... 66 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,794 Uh, hi. Raymond Ploshansky. I have an appointment. 67 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,879 ...pays public library district. 68 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,673 You're fourth on the docket. 69 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,299 That's a cute model, honey. 70 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,884 Oh, thank you. 71 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,552 Where are we now on the docket? 72 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:07,431 Oh, we just started. Look, you can take a seat. 73 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,641 Okay. Thank you. 74 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:13,980 ...petty cash account and $113 in cash on hand. 75 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,732 TED: Okay, all right, look, Mr. Harding, can you just pull up the minutes 76 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,609 so we can confirm these dollar amounts, please? 77 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:23,155 I'm just asking you to buy a few more lamps 78 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,325 so that I could see the books I'm reading! Hmm. 79 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,327 Okay, all right, I hear you, Mr. Gold, 80 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:31,914 but would you just allow us a moment to confirm the facts, please? 81 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:37,378 MARNIE: Oh, my God, Desi, Close Up has almost like 100 downloads already. 82 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,462 This is crazy. 83 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,257 I mean, this has to mean something to Marcos at the label. Don't you think? 84 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,591 DESI: Hmm. 85 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,343 I think it has to. This is... 86 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,512 I don't think they really care about 100 random people, baby. 87 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,056 - Well, they're not random. These are our fans. - Hmm. 88 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,224 This is so exciting. 89 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,810 I feel like indie music blogs are where everything's happening. 90 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,147 Pleandra Mariner got started on this exact site. 91 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,316 - Yummers. We already did it. - (BOTH LAUGH) 92 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,735 DESI: Mmm. 93 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,112 - (DESI GRUNTS) - What? 94 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,866 DESI: Mmm. 95 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,787 - Mmm. You know what? - Mmm. 96 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,789 We should open our showcase with this song. 97 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,250 Mmm. We only get two songs for the showcase. 98 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:19,545 Yes, we get an opener and a closer, and this should be our opener. 99 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:24,091 Yeah, I mean, this is a great fucking song. 100 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:25,509 Thank you. 101 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,553 But this is not one of our top two. 102 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,138 What do you like better? 103 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,557 Rattlesnake Cowgirl, Heart for Sale, 104 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,769 Whoa, Wow, Wonderful. Song for Marcus Garvey, 105 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:37,063 Oaxaca Blues, Kokopelli Shelly. 106 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,440 - I mean, that's top six right there. - Hmm. 107 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,485 Yeah, I know. I just feel like it's our chance to show some range. 108 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,612 - Okay, see, what I think about the showcase... - Yeah. 109 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,322 - ...we put our best foot forward. - Agreed. 110 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:50,493 And if half of our set is a syrupy love song, that's a total mislead, babe, you know? 111 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,995 - But we sing love songs. - Not really. 112 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,416 We sing, like, modern American folk with an indie edge. 113 00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:01,003 I tell people that we're like She & Him, but with actual romance. 114 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,339 But we're nothing like She & Him. 115 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,008 - We're not? - Whoa. 116 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,094 You're blowing my mind right now. 117 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,179 - Marnie, we are nothing like... - I hope we're like She & Him. 118 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,807 - My God. - We are noth... Are you kidding me right now? 119 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:16,769 You're freaking me out. We are nothing like She & Him, okay? 120 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,687 We are nothing like that band. 121 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,358 (CHUCKLING) How can we have completely different takes 122 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,610 on the same band that we are both in? That is bizarre to me. 123 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,695 I'm starting to wonder if maybe you don't like Close Up 124 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,114 because I wrote it instead of you. 125 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,740 - No, I like the song. - Could that be it? Are you sure? 126 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:31,867 - I loved this song. - Okay. 127 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,452 What do you mean loved this song? 128 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:37,206 And then you told me that you're writing She & Him songs and now, like, my whole... 129 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,958 I gotta do a heavy rethink here. 130 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,128 How about we talk about the partnership that I thought we were in... 131 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,379 - We are in a partnership. - ...whereas recently... 132 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,507 No, recently it's just been me writing while you tinker with your motorcycle. 133 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,592 I am... That's my mode of transportation, Marnie. 134 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,095 - That is my mode of transportation. - That doesn't change anything. 135 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,763 That's how I get... (SCOFFS) 136 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:56,225 That's weak, dude. (CHUCKLES) That's my mode of transportation. 137 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,311 If she's feeling sick, then I got nowhere to go. 138 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,314 I do write. I fucking write all the time. 139 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,899 I'm writing when I'm doing anything. 140 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,568 - When we're making love, I'm writing. - (SIGHS) 141 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,987 I am so glad that we combined our books. 142 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,321 You know, I was a little nervous about it, 143 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,324 but these children's encyclopedias are amazing. 144 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,743 They still say that Columbus discovered America, 145 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,789 and I think in one of these illustrations, he's wearing makeup. 146 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,000 Do you want to go for a run in a sec? 147 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,669 Hmm. No, thank you. 148 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,505 Come on, there's a street fair I want to disrupt. 149 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,675 Hmm, I don't really feel up to it. 150 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,051 Beginnings of a cold? 151 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,138 Gotta sweat that out. 152 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,932 Come on. 153 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,185 I like to watch you bounce. 154 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,731 I like to watch your boobs bounce. I like to watch your ponytail bounce. 155 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,066 - I like to watch your body bounce. - (CHUCKLES) 156 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,612 No, I can't go for a run 'cause I had an abortion yesterday. 157 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,325 I can't go for a run and I can't take a bath 158 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,952 or use a tampon or have intercourse for, like, a week. 159 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,038 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 160 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,793 Are you, uh... 161 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,047 - What? - Yeah. 162 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:11,383 Just a couple of things I can't do 'cause I had an abortion yesterday. 163 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,471 - Was it mine? - Yeah, of course it was yours. 164 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,688 I didn't want to talk about it beforehand. I just wanted to do it. 165 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,108 But I haven't shared with boyfriends in the past. 166 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,818 I'm trying to be more open with you. 167 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,489 So you're trying to be open with me? How many abortions have you had? 168 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,409 I'm not gonna share that with you because that is private. 169 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,787 I'm not gonna ask you how many girls you've gotten pregnant. 170 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,830 None. It's not private. 171 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,667 I've gotten no girls pregnant except for you now. 172 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,681 I think you're behaving very magnanimously this time. 173 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,308 I really do. And I think it's very difficult 174 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:06,063 considering Mimi-Rose is a very fascinating, very interesting, slim, 175 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,648 kind of like a little pinched nose there. 176 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,734 How do you know that she's slim with a little pinched nose? 177 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,986 I never said that. 178 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,529 Did you, like, Google her or something? 179 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,948 No, no, no. 180 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,908 You just created a very vivid image. 181 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:22,746 I see her as a very attractive, wondrous kind of very angular, slim person. 182 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:27,418 And I think you're being very stable about this whole thing and very mature. 183 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:32,131 Thank you. I guess the upside to having everything go wrong in your life 184 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:35,551 is that you cease to have any expectations of anything or anybody. So... 185 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,804 And that's an unbelievably mature thing for a person your age to say. 186 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,222 It's just great. 187 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:44,518 I guess the thing that's bothering me the most is that I have no idea what's coming next. 188 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,978 - Hmm. - I've never felt that way before. 189 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,022 Like, I don't even know what I want to have happen. 190 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,483 Well, when you were writing as a career option, how was that? 191 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,735 Was it fulfilling? 192 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,154 Fulfilling? I don't know. 193 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,574 Remarkably never thought about that. I mean... 194 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:05,205 I guess I liked the fact that writing has the ability to effect change. 195 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,044 You know? The writers who I love really helped me to form my world view, 196 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,670 so, I don't know, 197 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:14,506 I guess I wanted to help other people the way those writers have helped me. 198 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,344 You're a helper. You're just, you know, you like helping people, I think. 199 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,679 With lowa, getting in, really what I liked 200 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,181 was just that my friends seemed really impressed 201 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,515 and my mom seemed really happy. 202 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,185 Well, you made your mom happy. That made you feel good. 203 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:30,272 So sometimes making your mom happy is helping your mom. 204 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,275 So maybe I do really like helping people. 205 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,737 Wow. I mean, who... Who are you? 206 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,697 Who is this person that I'm seeing sitting there 207 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:43,202 saying these beautiful, stable things over there? 208 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,288 I just... This is like a wow moment for me. 209 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,291 Wow. 210 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,376 Who fucking went with you? 211 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,835 My friend Sue-Ellen Garth. 212 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,295 ADAM: I don't even know her. 213 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,672 MIMI-ROSE: You'll meet her. She's a somnambulist. 214 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:59,093 (STAMMERS) Who did it? Who aborted you? 215 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:03,097 A doctor named Guneta did the procedure. She delivered my cousin's baby. 216 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,226 - Was it a boy or a girl? - My cousin's baby's a girl. 217 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,186 No! Ours! 218 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,483 It was a ball of cells. It was smaller than a seed pearl. 219 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,235 It didn't have a penis or a vagina. 220 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,738 Isn't this a decision that people typically make together? 221 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,408 - So you wanted a baby? - Maybe. 222 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,742 That's kind of absurd. 223 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,494 We've been together for less than seven weeks. 224 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,121 I don't think that we're ready for a child. 225 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,998 Crazier things have happened. People do crazy things. 226 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,292 My parents got married after a fucking week. 227 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:37,423 Okay, so we should have the baby and put it in your toolbox as a cradle 228 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,384 and feed it sardines and tell it that you don't know my middle name? 229 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,345 - It's Rose! - No, my first name is Mimi-Rose. 230 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,513 My middle name is Eleanor. 231 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:49,017 I don't understand how you could do something like that without talking to me first. 232 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,604 It's... That's evil. 233 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,067 You're right, you don't understand. 234 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,240 (DOOR CLOSES) 235 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,874 I had just gone as far as I could go in lowa, you know? 236 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,333 - Yeah. - I was practically running that JCPenney. 237 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,128 I was dating a guy who was the front-runner in the mayoral race. 238 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:21,508 I had just put a bid in on 16 acres, but I thought, I don't know, I just feel empty. 239 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,344 So I might as well come back here and be with you losers. 240 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,638 - Ugh. - I've decided I'm not getting a job. 241 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,308 I'm gonna marry Scott the soup mogul, 242 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,935 and I'm just gonna be Mrs. Madame Tinsley for the rest of my life. 243 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:35,272 I'm gonna forgo all of my dreams and ambitions for his, 244 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,482 and I'm just gonna become my mother. 245 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,859 No, no, no, you do not wanna end up with someone so selfish. 246 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,444 I'm telling you, Shosh, seriously, 247 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,656 you end up feeling more alone than you felt when you were actually just entirely alone. 248 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,075 Marnie, you fought so hard for this relationship, 249 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,911 - but it's making you unhappy already? - I know. 250 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,204 I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. 251 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,206 I think I'm incapable of true companionship. 252 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,208 - Plus, he's a total asshole as it turns out. - Oh, my God! 253 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,169 This table is like the island of misfit animals. 254 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,337 I'm falling asleep right now. 255 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:02,508 I could be at a brunch with a guy who runs a microbrewery, so let's pep it up. 256 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,801 Well, listen, I have big news, 257 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:07,513 which is that I've decided to get a job that actually helps people. 258 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,056 Ew, like a not-for-profit job? 259 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,642 Hannah, you're the most selfish person we know. 260 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,101 I mean, you won't even share a Kit Kat. 261 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,521 Yeah, it's true. You're so selfish that when we lived together, 262 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,523 you put the fire extinguisher in your own bedroom 263 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,857 so you could have access to it first. 264 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:22,027 Well, that's all gonna be turned on its head 'cause you know what? 265 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,362 I wanna change the world. 266 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,656 - ELIJAH: Change the world? - Like, all of it? 267 00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:28,450 - That's a big job. - Why is this so flummoxing to all of you, 268 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,202 me wanting to make a positive change? 269 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,830 Because I'm very skeptical of anyone who wants to help others. 270 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,916 I mean, there's always some sort of hidden agenda. 271 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,086 100%. Mother Teresa loved being famous. 272 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,965 Well, what's a job that I could have that helps people that doesn't disgust you? 273 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,134 ELIJAH: Based on this look, I would say... 274 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,844 Bus and truck with Thoroughly Modern Millie... 275 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,888 - MARNIE: Yes. - Ice Capades... 276 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,307 - Clock maker. - Uh, clog model? 277 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,309 - Schoolmarm. - Okay. 278 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:57,062 - Tennille in a Captain & Tennille cover band. - Yeah. 279 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,314 - Girl who gets killed in a Lifetime movie. - Wait. 280 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,899 Mayim Bialik's stunt double. 281 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,192 Elijah. 282 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:07,406 Your horrid, horrid personality may have actually led to something good, 283 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,284 which is that I could be a teacher. 284 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:14,413 Well, you know what they say, those who can't do, teach. 285 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,583 Yes, and I can't do, so I'm gonna teach. 286 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:24,089 All three vacant properties are owned by a Mr. Anat Heifetz, 287 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,676 who has yet to incur any monetary fines 288 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:34,308 associated with buildings standing longer than 30 days without registering with the city. 289 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,769 I'm sorry. Excuse me, but I gotta run out of here early tonight. 290 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,481 Can a motion to adjourn and we'll pick up where we leave off next week. 291 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,817 - WOMAN: Second. - With that second, I adjourn this session. 292 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,986 We'll continue next week starting with... 293 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,904 KIPPY AND TED: Kippy Cohen. 294 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,781 TED: Good? Done. 295 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,074 Objection! 296 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,784 I'm sorry? 297 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,078 - I object. - What? 298 00:15:55,788 --> 00:16:00,792 I've been sitting patiently, quietly in this chair all day. 299 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,336 All day. You wanna know why? 300 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,879 'Cause I'm on today's docket. 301 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,548 Today's docket should happen today. 302 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,884 Next week is for next week's docket. 303 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,303 Well, thank you for contributing your opinion, 304 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,805 but sometimes we don't get through it all, okay? 305 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,475 Like, today we started with some issues from last week. 306 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,518 Okay, well, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's very fair. 307 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,562 And I don't think they do either. 308 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,939 And it's certainly no way to manage your business. 309 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,485 So I would like to procure a motion that we get through today's docket today. 310 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,987 - I second that. - Thank you, Kippy. 311 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,823 Okay, well, a motion has to be seconded by a member of the board. 312 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,911 Are there any board members that wants to second this hothead's motion? 313 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,330 I didn't think so. Good night. 314 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,916 Will you hold that, please? Thank you. Excuse me, Kippy. 315 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,418 You all should be ashamed of yourselves. 316 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,128 Shame on you! 317 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,047 You call this politics? 318 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,548 This is a circus! 319 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,550 Okay, thank you. Can you sit down now, please? 320 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,970 You can't even put a few lights in the library so Mr. Gold can read? 321 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,430 Are you fucking kidding me? 322 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,683 I take umbrage! 323 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:58,892 Hold on, umbrage? 324 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,269 I just wanna write that down, that you take umbrage. 325 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,691 I take umbrage at your sweeping disregard for the taxpayer 326 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,151 and your general managerial ineptitude. 327 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,946 Umbrage! Shame on you people! 328 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,199 - (SIGHS) - He's not wrong. 329 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,953 I can't remember the last time we got something approved here. 330 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,956 Seriously, Stu, you can't remember? You can't remember... So all of a sudden, 331 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,541 - you have a problem with our productivity? - Yeah. 332 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,751 When was the last session you came to not drunk? 333 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:28,380 Says the man who'd probably stop at a bar and cheat on his wife. 334 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,090 TED: You're gonna judge me? How dare you? 335 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,634 Why don't you go visit your convict husband in jail? 336 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,220 Oh, nice, Ted. Professional as always. 337 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,013 And do you wanna tell everyone how much money 338 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,598 you took from funds in petty cash last month? 339 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,017 Screw you, creep. I thought you were my friend. 340 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,394 MAN: Not when it comes to money. 341 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,980 WOMAN: You put that money back! TED: I took a loan of$10. 342 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,231 (ALL ARGUING) 343 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,357 This is outrageous! 344 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,651 (ARGUING CONTINUES) 345 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,997 You know how I always sleep 15 minutes later than you? 346 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,916 I really wake up before you. 347 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,836 But I pretend to be totally asleep because I love it 348 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,215 when you tuck me in and you kiss me. 349 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,511 I'm really coming to depend on that. 350 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,680 Why didn't you talk to me about it? 351 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,891 'Cause I knew what I wanted to do. 352 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:04,893 Why didn't you want me to come with you? 353 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,271 I mean, don't you need me at all? 354 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,857 'Cause it freaks me out. You never tell me what you're working on. 355 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,984 You don't mind if I don't make it to whatever fucking party. 356 00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,528 You don't ask me how you look or whatever. 357 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,154 You just look in the mirror and go. 358 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,825 You're like those jellyfish who only need to fuck once to have generations of kids. 359 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,619 Sometimes I just can't tell what I'm even here for at all. 360 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,747 See, that's what I love about you. You know the weirdest stuff. 361 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:30,335 Your brain does not process information in a normal way at all. 362 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,629 Truly, Adam, I care about you so much. 363 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,464 (CHUCKLES) 364 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,759 I care about my butcher. I need my butcher. 365 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,930 I can't butcher meats. I need my butcher more than you need me. 366 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,598 No, I don't need you. 367 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,936 But I love coming home and knowing you're behind the door. 368 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,064 And I love watching you bend down and pick something up 369 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,608 'cause you use your body in a really strange way. 370 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,152 And wanting you like this, 371 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:59,114 that's better than needing you because it's pure. 372 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:00,907 I feel like you lied to me. 373 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,951 No, I didn't lie to you. 374 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:07,163 I just waited to share information until it was too late for you to chime in. 375 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,373 (SNICKERS) 376 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,794 It's funny, I felt so good about you moving in. 377 00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:16,298 Just this morning, I loved looking at your books 378 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,717 and learning their names like I know mine. 379 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,052 I guess... 380 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,431 I don't know. 381 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,518 Yeah, okay. Yeah, I like that, too. 382 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,195 (GOD KNOWS PLAYING) 383 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,091 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)