1
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,146
It's gonna rain.

2
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,397
Oh, it's totally not gonna rain.

3
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,066
It's, like, never been about to rain less
in the history of the universe.

4
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,988
Now, that looks great
and it's ready for some bridesmaid-y action.

5
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,158
By the way, living in Japan
has made me so effing good

6
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,743
at folding, steaming, pressing, et cetera.

7
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,162
My friend Satako says that I'm, like,
a complete natural

8
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,621
and could totally compete
with the best of them.

9
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,166
They have this reality TV show there
called <i>Fold Fold Press,</i>

10
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,585
which is kind of about being human.

11
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,253
It seems like it's gonna rain, right?

12
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:47,048
God damn it,
what is my mom doing out there?

13
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,592
You don't understand something here.
I just want to show you.

14
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:54,138
It's gotta be candle, flower,
candle, flower, candle, flower.

15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,515
Sorry I slept so late.
Is there anything I can do to help?

16
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,559
Um, yeah, just keep the vibe,
like, super calm in here.

17
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,853
That'd be great. And then
when the hair and makeup artist arrives,

18
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,104
you can start maneuvering
the appointments.

19
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,773
Got it. On it.

20
00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,442
What do you mean by
"maneuvering the appointments"?

21
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,152
Well, she can't do all of us at once, right?

22
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,613
She's not an octopus,
so I figure we need an order

23
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,615
and you can create the order.

24
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:15,576
Cool. I'm gonna do it.

25
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,244
Thank you so much.
I figure each bridesmaid

26
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,497
should take no longer than, like, 35 minutes,

27
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,791
and that leaves me three and a half hours,
which is perfect.

28
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,168
Great.

29
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,212
- Hi.
- Hey.

30
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,505
Oh, wow.

31
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,965
You look so whimsical/beautiful.

32
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,967
Thank you, I just bathed in the stream

33
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:34,553
and then I ran through the field to dry myself.

34
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,348
Marnie, what's wrong?

35
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,101
I'm worried it's gonna rain.
I had the option for a tent,

36
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,602
but of course I didn't take it.

37
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,646
Okay, so you made a mistake.

38
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,481
We all make mistakes. It's okay.

39
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,982
Yeah,
everybody hates tents anyways.

40
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:49,652
Like, what, is this a circus?
I don't want no big top.

41
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:54,156
But you know that rain on your wedding day
means wonderful things for your fertility.

42
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,826
So I hope that it does rain.

43
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,536
I'm gonna go set out your dress.

44
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,247
If anyone needs anything,
I'll be upstairs in the boudoir.

45
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:11,715
I love tents.

46
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,721
This is the day.

47
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,891
This is my wedding day.

48
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,982
- Hi.
- Hey.

49
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,817
- How's it going?
- Good, how you doing?

50
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,735
- Good. Good to see you.
- You, too.

51
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,446
- Hey, gals.
- Ooh!

52
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,074
Fran, you look so handsome.
That is beautiful suiting.

53
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,367
Well done, sir.

54
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,619
- Hey, Fran.
- Marnie, hey.

55
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,581
Uh, I just wanted to say
how grateful I am to be invited.

56
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,125
Oh, well, everyone who asked
for a plus-one got one.

57
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,751
Shosh didn't ask for one, though.

58
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,713
Oh, yeah. I take my bridesmaids duties,
like, super seriously.

59
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,006
Also, I'm in a long-distance relationship,

60
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,550
so, like, why rock the boat
by seeing each other, you know what I mean?

61
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,595
Well, Fran was just sitting in his car,
so I said he could come hang with us.

62
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,847
Um, but I can go if this is not a good time.

63
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,057
Well, you are here, like, super early. So...

64
00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:03,893
No, it's a great time.
We're doing literally nothing.

65
00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:05,186
Sweet.

66
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,522
- How was your drive?
- Yeah, super easy.

67
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,899
It's so pretty on the way up here.

68
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,567
- Shosh.
- Yeah?

69
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:12,693
Come here.

70
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,362
Was there a mom
or was it just like a flock of little lambs?

71
00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:16,864
No, orphans.

72
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,200
This is so inappropriate.

73
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,035
My attire? Oh, I'm sorry.

74
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,703
I thought we were, like,
doing a PJ thing all day.

75
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,206
- I mean, I have another outfit...
- No, no, no, no, no. Shh.

76
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:26,332
Fran.

77
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:27,917
- Oh, my baby got out!
- No.

78
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,543
He has an actual penis.

79
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,921
He's a man and he's here.

80
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:33,881
You have to go tell him to leave,

81
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,216
and then you have to tell Hannah

82
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,677
that she's been so inappropriate
and unsupportive for me all day.

83
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,262
Wouldn't you rather do that?

84
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,723
That just seems like something that
you would really enjoy doing.

85
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,892
- Shosh.
- Okay, on it.

86
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,727
- ...breakfast yet.
- What do you mean, you didn't order it?

87
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,853
- Or it didn't show up?
- I mean, it was fine...

88
00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,605
No, no one just mentioned breakfast.

89
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,190
Fran.

90
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:52,524
Um, so...

91
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:56,028
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave,

92
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,614
just 'cause it's women's hour.

93
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,658
Shosh.

94
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,201
No.

95
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,119
Shosh.

96
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,664
Don't go, stay. It's fine.

97
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,123
I mean, if you want him to go.

98
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,711
But as the bride,
I just want you to know that I'm fine.

99
00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,046
Cool if you stay.

100
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,006
Totally fine if Shosh wants you to leave.

101
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,384
Up to you.

102
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,432
- Ugh, weddings.
- Hannah.

103
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,017
I'm sorry, it's just they're stupid.

104
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,728
They're so stupid and you know what?
Ultimately, they're selfish.

105
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:31,397
Not all weddings.

106
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,400
I mean, yeah, if you put too much weight
on the dumb details, sure, but this...

107
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,944
Marnie, like, passive-aggressively
handed me a razor.

108
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,321
I was like, "I already shaved my armpits."

109
00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:42,116
To be fair, you're not great at it.

110
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,660
- It's, like, pretty patchy under there.
- It's hard.

111
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,745
- Consistently patchy.
- No.

112
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,040
Look, just try and be positive, okay?

113
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,917
And it's all gonna be over soon.

114
00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,044
Yeah, but then she's gonna be married.

115
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:57,506
- To someone she barely knows.
- She barely knows him?

116
00:04:57,589 --> 00:05:00,092
No, I barely know him.
You're not even listening to what I'm saying.

117
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,054
- Hey.
- Hey.

118
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,264
- Hey.
- Hey.

119
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,765
What are they...

120
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,518
Oh, yeah,
they're actually not here right now.

121
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,812
- Yeah, they're transcending.
- Got it.

122
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,355
Should be back any minute, though.

123
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,690
Just wait around.

124
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,485
Marnie kicked Fran out of the house
for "female" reasons,

125
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,195
so, um, can you take care of him?

126
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,364
- Yeah, sure. Have a seat.
- Awesome.

127
00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:26,201
Yeah, settle in, son,
and just let the nightmare wash over you.

128
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,453
It's nice in here.

129
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,622
It's very, like, Skull and Bones,
secret gentlemen's society.

130
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,083
Hi.

131
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,044
Hi. Oh, hello.

132
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,047
- Suit looks great. Very...
- Serious.

133
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,548
- I have to, um...
- Thank you.

134
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,593
...get back to the house
or everyone's boobs are going to explode.

135
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,719
Okay.

136
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,188
Hey, man.

137
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,273
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

138
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,276
I'm, uh, just...

139
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,279
Oh. How, um...

140
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,782
Uh, you know, nothing doing, but...

141
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,742
Oh, good, good, good.

142
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,453
Look, uh, if you need me to...

143
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,415
- I can just...
- No, no, no, no. No.

144
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,834
I didn't just... I'm not... I didn't just...

145
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,586
No, I figured with, uh...

146
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,004
Yeah, but it's...

147
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,173
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

148
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:22,925
Why don't you guys
try a few complete sentences?

149
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,803
This conversation sounds like
a fucking E.E. Cummings poem.

150
00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:28,931
Wow. I feel good, man. I feel incredible.

151
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,599
- All right.
- Thank you.

152
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,811
Yeah, I thought meditation was just naps,
but it's like a whole thing.

153
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,437
Well, you know, it is.

154
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,606
It's like naps where you wake up.

155
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,150
And I'm so happy to be able to
share that with both of you.

156
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,860
And you, you, oh!

157
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:44,446
- I'm so proud of you, man.
- Oh, thank you, baby.

158
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,865
Yes, you guys, listen. You guys, all of you.

159
00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:49,159
One, two, three, four, five,

160
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:52,454
thank you for being here.
It means so much to me.

161
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,456
- Wolfie, my old, dear friend.
- Mmm-hmm.

162
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:57,084
My bald eagle,
looking out for me from on high.

163
00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:02,464
Adam, man, my comrade in arts,
my comrade in arms.

164
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,508
- Mr. Rabbit.
- Yeah, yeah.

165
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,302
Elijah, the lion.

166
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:12,724
A comic persona
as skilled and radical as Lucille Ball.

167
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,060
I mean that.

168
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,731
Ray, when Marnie told me
that you should be here,

169
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,110
I thought it was a mistake, and, you know,
maybe it still will be a mistake,

170
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,030
but right now I feel like
I'm happy that you're here.

171
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,783
Thank you for being here.

172
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,577
Thanks.

173
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,670
- It's Fran.
- Fran.

174
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,882
- Hey, man.
- I'm Hannah's boyfriend.

175
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,801
- We met at Marnie's birthday.
- No, I know.

176
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,636
We went on a bike ride together,
just you and me.

177
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,555
- You don't...
- Yeah, Fran.

178
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,849
- I love that name.
- Yeah.

179
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,142
I love you, Fran.

180
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,103
I love you, too, man.

181
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,647
This is among one of the greatest days
of my life, you guys.

182
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,525
I'm getting married today.

183
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,444
- Yes.
- Yep.

184
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,529
Does anybody want a beer?

185
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,990
I have got this really good brew
that you can only get upstate.

186
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,116
No, thank you, Fran.

187
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:15,120
Yeah, I'm gonna take MDMA
just before the vows, so I shouldn't mix.

188
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,499
Well, Fran, I'd fucking love one.

189
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:19,708
Coming in hot.

190
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:21,919
So, I've been living in Japan
for, like, seven months now,

191
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,921
and it has seeped into my soul.

192
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,217
Like, I swear, influenced me professionally,
spiritually, the way I bathe,

193
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,260
my choice of pens, everything.

194
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,597
But how do you understand
what the fuck they're saying? I don't get it.

195
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,849
Oh, no, they speak better English
than, like, any of us.

196
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:36,975
- Do they really?
- Mmm-hmm.

197
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,894
- No kidding.
- So, Bay-Bay...

198
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,229
Yeah? No, Bebe, thank you.

199
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,563
Oh, I'm sorry, Bebe.

200
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,858
I'm so happy you're here.
Thank you for joining us.

201
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,235
Aw, thanks. I'm happy to be here.

202
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,153
- This is really fun.
- Oh, good, good, good.

203
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:51,323
I saw on your website you did Sophia Bush's
makeup for her sister's wedding.

204
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,659
I sure did. You know what?
That was such a treat.

205
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,327
She is like a little angel.

206
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,747
She let me bring my 30-year-old
daughter along and we had a ball.

207
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,749
I gotta tell you what,
those Bushes know how to party.

208
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,459
You have a 30-year-old daughter?

209
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,378
- When did you have her?
- Oh, God, I don't know.

210
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,505
Okay, well, let's just talk about the aesthetic
of the wedding.

211
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,924
- Okay.
- We're thinking <i>Laurel Canyon</i> classic.

212
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,133
So, does that mean anything to you?

213
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,177
Like, a Selena Gomez kind of thing?

214
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,138
Nope, let me try that one more time. Uh...

215
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,724
Let's do like a Ralph Lauren and Joni Mitchell.

216
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,727
Uh, artistic, but also with a nod
to my cultural heritage,

217
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:22,729
which is white Christian woman.

218
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,898
My fiancé and I, both musicians.

219
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,400
Okay, so Jesus.

220
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,819
Selena Gomez meets Jesus. I can do it.

221
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,113
Yeah, so, right now

222
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,533
uh, Shosh's hair feels a little bit
Japanese-y to me.

223
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,577
Just getting started.
Don't worry, honey, it's gonna be great.

224
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,245
- Okay, great.
- Just go have yourself a glass of wine.

225
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,871
- Relax.
- Do whatever you wanna do.

226
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,040
I'm totally easy, easy-going girl.

227
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,667
- You know me, right?
- Okay.

228
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,502
Just make sure you run everything by me
before it's final.

229
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:49,256
I just wanna make sure I sign off on it
before it's set in its spray, okay?

230
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,174
Thank you so much for being here, goodbye.

231
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,260
Oh, my God, it is so much fun.

232
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,852
Oh, fuck you.

233
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,228
It's horrendous.

234
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,771
It's nice.

235
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,231
I think when it comes down, I'm gonna...

236
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,900
- Brush it.
- Oh, oh, oh. It's not done?

237
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,738
You look good.

238
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,364
Thank you. I found this.

239
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,576
Thanks. Oh.

240
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,958
- Honestly, I feel really bad for Marnie.
- Why?

241
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,711
Her mother's a fucking lunatic.

242
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,089
Hannah is just being Hannah.

243
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,800
Shoshanna since she got back from Japan
is somehow

244
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,719
even more like a cartoon.

245
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,058
I'm just trying to be a source of support.

246
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,393
- Thanks.
- That's good.

247
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:45,103
- Yeah.
- That's good, be of service.

248
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,898
Mmm-hmm. And how is it over there?

249
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,568
You guys just, like, doing circle jerks
and pounding beers?

250
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,903
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

251
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,905
And what about Fran? Is it weird?

252
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,742
Who's Fran?

253
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,452
What do you mean, who's Fran? Fran.

254
00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:04,081
Oh, yeah...
Yeah, he's... He's nice.

255
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,124
What do you mean he's nice?

256
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,460
He's nice. He's polite. He's funny or whatever.

257
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,755
You don't wanna take him out back
and show him what you're made of?

258
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,173
- No.
- Buy him a ticket to the gun show?

259
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:16,093
Yes. No.

260
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:18,011
You're a liar.

261
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,598
No, no, no. I'm, uh... I'm evolved.

262
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,267
- That's good.
- I don't care.

263
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,853
- I'm happy for her.
- Cool.

264
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:29,022
Great. I don't care either.

265
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,945
Well...

266
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,202
I...

267
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,454
I can't.

268
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,804
Okay, see ya.

269
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,481
Shit.

270
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,739
So, Fran...

271
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,408
- Fran.
- Hmm.

272
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,910
You seem like a nice guy,

273
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:28,373
but I have to ask,
what are your, um, intentions with Hannah?

274
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,086
Uh, well, right now,
I guess we're just trying to figure out...

275
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,337
Well, here's the thing to know, Fran,

276
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:38,425
is that while she's painfully narcissistic,
shockingly tone-deaf,

277
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,845
and just generally one of the most
insufferable people you'll ever meet,

278
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,346
she means something to me.

279
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,599
She's like a younger sister to me, Fran.

280
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:49,686
So, what I want to know from you
is are you serious about this?

281
00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:53,940
Or are you just in it for a quick,
you know, push-push-in-the-bush?

282
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,275
What?

283
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,943
Are you trying to get to know this woman?

284
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,905
Are you trying to really connect
to this other individual in this world?

285
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,032
Or are you just experimenting

286
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,201
with more and more complex sexual positions

287
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,077
until her knees blow out
and her pussy turns to rubber?

288
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,537
Oh, my God.

289
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,539
I mean, do you ask her
how she feels about things?

290
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,625
What she's thinking about?

291
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,710
What are her opinions about, you know,

292
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,213
transgender politics, the afterlife?

293
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,382
Because young men today,
they don't ask those type of questions.

294
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,636
All they ask is what they can get
from a given situation.

295
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,055
They demand faithfulness

296
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:30,727
and then they suck the spirit out of women
who are so fucking spirited.

297
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,571
Ray?

298
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,243
The love of my life is getting married today.

299
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,996
Today, the love of my life

300
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,582
is getting married,

301
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,919
and I don't have the guts to pull a <i>Graduate.</i>

302
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,589
I don't have it in me.

303
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,176
Because I know

304
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,178
I'm not the person that she wants.

305
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,765
I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't fucking do it!

306
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,101
- Desi, come on.
- I'm too fucking scared.

307
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,646
- I'm not fucking ready.
- Take this rage and turn it into bravery.

308
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,606
Don't try to follow me.

309
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:19,109
Hey, hey, you've bailed seven times.
Don't make it eight!

310
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,527
Desi!

311
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,320
What was that?

312
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,700
Just a little bit of cold feet.

313
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:30,161
You know, he's always quick
on the engagement trigger,

314
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,664
but I thought that eight
was the magic number.

315
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:36,877
And I thought that he was actually into Marnie
since they were going through with this.

316
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,505
But now is now.

317
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,383
All right, I'll be back.

318
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,470
Hey, be gentle on him, brother.

319
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,973
He's got a really complicated thing
with his mom.

320
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,142
Okay, here we go.

321
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:55,687
Ow.

322
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,482
Okay, I'm sorry,
but that flower crown is corny as hell.

323
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,526
Mom, no one asked you.

324
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,154
You have a beautiful forehead.
Please do not cover it.

325
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,697
And why do you want to look like

326
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,490
the Statue of Liberty
in all your wedding pictures?

327
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,034
No, Mom, it's super modern.

328
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:11,077
Bill de Blasio's daughter
wears one all the time.

329
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:14,414
Ah, Bebe,
that pin literally went through my skull.

330
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,665
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

331
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:16,875
- Marnie...
- Yes, Mom.

332
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,335
- Keep it classic, please.
- Okay, okay.

333
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,753
I wore shoulder pads to my wedding

334
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,672
and I regret it every time
I look at those photos.

335
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,842
More than you regret marrying the sex addict
who's also in those photos?

336
00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,386
Uh, yeah, 'cause that was fun for a while.

337
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,555
Well, you know,
I was on the Vans Warped Tour this summer

338
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,599
and I saw Vanessa Hudgens in the pit

339
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,893
and she had one of these crowns on
and you look just like her.

340
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,269
Well, that's just great and weird.

341
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:39,856
Just when we ask for second opinions,
we'll come to you right away, okay?

342
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,274
- We're good.
- Okay.

343
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,401
And this is my daughter, and this is my day.

344
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:47,030
Okay, I'm gonna start on someone else
while you two work this thing out, all right?

345
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,198
- Okay.
- Good idea.

346
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,449
- Okay, good.
- Okay, yeah, that's good.

347
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,868
- She's crazy.
- I'm gonna kill you.

348
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,787
- Hey, sugar.
- Hi.

349
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,372
All right,
what are you thinking for your look?

350
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,042
Um, I don't know, just maybe, like, wet a comb
and just neaten my hair up.

351
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,045
I don't know. My hair's pretty short,
so you can't really do anything with it.

352
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,880
But we have, like, all the hair accessories.

353
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,924
I'd rather just feel like myself.

354
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,259
Okay, well, it's not really about you,
but whatever.

355
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,719
Yeah, I mean, it's not like
you don't have options.

356
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,222
I pulled together a bunch
of the different looks from the mood board.

357
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,640
They're all in the iPad.

358
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,726
You can flip through them one more time.
There's floral crowns, obviously.

359
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,145
There's braid headband. Um...

360
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,815
We have extensions.
We can give you a weave.

361
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,984
You forage for stuff outside
and put it in your fucking hair.

362
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,986
I don't care. You just have to wear something.

363
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,404
You know, I'd rather not.

364
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655
Oh, well, we'd rather you did.

365
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,282
Mom, let me handle this.
Hannah, you have to.

366
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,953
This is part of a very specific vision
that I had for this wedding.

367
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,497
A vision from an Edward Sharpe video,
and it is mine.

368
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,790
Ow! Ow, ow.

369
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:39,916
I'm sorry, you just burned me.

370
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,918
- All right, sit still.
- No! No.

371
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,587
- Jesus.
- I can't do this!

372
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,590
Marnie, why do you
even bother with that girl?

373
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,177
Honestly, you look like a Starbucks cup.

374
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:52,929
Out.

375
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,530
It's so awful in there, Fran.

376
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,781
It's like I can't even describe it.

377
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,034
It's like a rom-com
that even I wouldn't want to watch.

378
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:17,120
Can you please pull on my sleeve,
whatever the fuck this is?

379
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,663
What are you doing here? It's like a noose.

380
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,832
It's like a really bad rom-com

381
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,543
that's, like, too obvious and not funny.

382
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,546
I hate this dress.
The straps are longer than the dress.

383
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,964
Yeah.

384
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174
I mean, I guess you're right.

385
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,342
At least soon she'll be all married
and happy, and...

386
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,804
Oh, Hannah, I just learned something
kind of intense in there.

387
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,514
Oh, yeah,
Ray was circumcised when he was 20,

388
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,058
so his dick does this thing
where it, like, bleeds...

389
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,518
No, no, I know. No, I know about that.

390
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:45,398
No, um, it's Desi.
This is his eighth engagement.

391
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,735
- What?
- Yeah.

392
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,821
I mean, you know, never a wedding, but...

393
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,491
He's freaking out.

394
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,160
- And that ring, the ring for Marnie?
- Yeah?

395
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,328
That was for his ex-girlfriend.

396
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,705
- Clementine?
- Yeah.

397
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,499
I knew she had a fruit name.

398
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,375
Oh, my God,
I have to go tell Marnie right now.

399
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,170
No, Hannah, you can't.
No, no, no, I just told you in confidence.

400
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,047
I trusted you.

401
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,091
I have to tell her. There's no way she knows.

402
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,510
- She must know.
- There's no way she knows.

403
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,845
She must've picked up on something,
anything.

404
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,264
You'd be surprised how much she can miss.

405
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,562
Oh, fuck.

406
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,278
Now I don't have to tell her anything
'cause she's gonna kill herself.

407
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,573
Hannah.

408
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,378
Desi!

409
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,214
Desi!

410
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,051
What the fuck are you doing?

411
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:59,264
You're right! I don't deserve her!

412
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:00,765
Get out of the pond!

413
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,934
I'm garbage.

414
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,479
I'm a garbage person!

415
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:09,774
Okay, let's wrap up the one-man show
and get you up to dry land, okay?

416
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,318
Oh, what do you care? You still love her.

417
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:16,114
Yeah, but I still don't want you to die
of a rare pond disease.

418
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,077
Oh, what am I doing?

419
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,453
Fuck!

420
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:25,498
What am I doing, Ray?
I don't know how to be a husband.

421
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,958
No.

422
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,085
No, you don't.

423
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,922
But you know what
being a husband is about, Desi?

424
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,132
It's about love.

425
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,178
And love is about sacrifice and destiny,

426
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,973
and making a sacrifice for the one you love

427
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,934
that allows them to find their destiny.

428
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,978
You know?

429
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,022
Yes.

430
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,940
- Yeah.
- Destiny.

431
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:52,984
- Yes.
- Yeah.

432
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,277
- Destiny.
- Yeah.

433
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,780
You sacrificed Marnie
so she could find her destiny.

434
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,158
And I am that destiny.

435
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:04,454
And I'm not gonna let a couple of fucking
little botched marriage attempts

436
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,332
on my part get in the way of her happiness!

437
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,459
Well, that's not exactly what I'm saying.

438
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,793
- What I'm saying...
- Thank you, Ray.

439
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,171
- Thank you.
- Okay.

440
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,465
But what I'm saying is you should allow her...

441
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,008
Let's ditch this pisshole!

442
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,803
I got a fucking woman to marry.

443
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,805
Okay, but... Desi?

444
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,809
Hold on one second, though.

445
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,064
I think I just need to powder you
and we're good.

446
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,233
Uh, I think it's a little heavy.

447
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,361
No, no, no, no, no, honey,
this is the exact right look for this dress.

448
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,281
You see, your dress is light,
so we gotta weigh it down on the face.

449
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,740
- Even the lips?
- Yes.

450
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,785
- Okay. Are you sure?
- I've been doing this for 25 years.

451
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:27,745
- Hey.
- Hey.

452
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,205
Oh, my God.

453
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:30,748
What the fuck is your fucking problem?

454
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,375
I don't have a problem.

455
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,919
I just think that the makeup is a little bit, um,

456
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,255
shellacked.

457
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,882
It looks like you went to Hershey,
Pennsylvania, and just went, like...

458
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,718
It's just a lot.

459
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,261
Well, have you ever even
worn makeup before?

460
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:45,763
Yes, I wear mascara every Saturday.

461
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,599
Yeah, the dress is light,
so we have to weigh it down with makeup.

462
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,768
You guys think that
maybe this is, like, a little bit heavy?

463
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:53,813
You know what?
You all are a bunch of bitches.

464
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:56,065
Do you know that? Sophia Bush, grateful.

465
00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:57,567
You, twats.

466
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,819
Twat, twat, twat. An army full of twats.

467
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:02,405
- Why does Bebe do this to herself?
- Oh, no. Fuck, no, Bebe.

468
00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:05,074
- I look fucking insane!
- You look fucking beautiful!

469
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,910
No, I don't, and it's fucking raining!

470
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,329
But fertility.

471
00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,914
Everyone, shut the fuck up about fertility!

472
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:14,167
"Oh, fertility.
You're gonna get fucking pregnant."

473
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,586
What if I don't want to?
I wear an IUD for a fucking reason.

474
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,588
And it's raining on my fucking wedding day!

475
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,089
Fuck!

476
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:21,799
Fuck! Ah!

477
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:27,597
It's weddings... It's to be expected.

478
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,771
- Go away.
- Marn?

479
00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:36,606
- No! No.
- Marn, please.

480
00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,817
Hannah, I don't feel like getting in
a fucking fight with you right now, seriously.

481
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,110
I'm not gonna get
in a fight with you.

482
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:44,530
I just want to say that you look beautiful.

483
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:45,948
Are you fucking kidding me?

484
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:48,785
You do. You look so beautiful.

485
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,536
My makeup is insane.

486
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:51,954
It's not insane, okay?

487
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,123
If we just take it down a little...

488
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,125
Around the face.

489
00:22:58,336 --> 00:22:59,629
I'm sorry.

490
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:04,967
I'm so sorry.
I have been so fucking awful today.

491
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,220
- Yeah.
- I don't know what to say.

492
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:10,473
I don't have a good excuse
except that I was scared.

493
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,475
What? What the fuck are you scared about?

494
00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:14,143
Marn, you're getting married.

495
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:16,813
That's a big deal.

496
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:18,314
That's everything changing.

497
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,983
And you're marrying Desi,
who I barely even know.

498
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:23,236
That's because
you haven't even tried to know me.

499
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:25,988
I don't know what that even means.

500
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:28,699
Hannah, it has literally been years
since you checked in with me

501
00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:30,743
to see, like, where I'm at.

502
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:33,162
And I'm not dumb.
I know you guys are laughing at me,

503
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:36,749
and wondering what stupid fucking mistake
Marnie's gonna make next.

504
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,876
But I have been there for you,

505
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:42,171
and I have stood by you
while you've made some huge mistakes.

506
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:44,507
So the very least you could do right now

507
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,884
is to pretend that
I might be doing the right thing.

508
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,516
You're totally right.

509
00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:57,895
I have made a lot of really dumb mistakes.

510
00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:01,732
Do you think I'm making a mistake?

511
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,236
I'm not the right person...

512
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:06,446
Do you?

513
00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:10,283
No.

514
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:13,619
No, I am with you every step of the way.

515
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,288
Okay.

516
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:20,960
I'm sorry.

517
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,464
I'm excited.

518
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:27,884
Yeah, good.

519
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,557
Who's the guy with the beard
and the long hair

520
00:24:34,599 --> 00:24:35,766
who showed up in the Porsche?

521
00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:37,059
That guy. That one.

522
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:39,228
Oh. Um, I can't remember his name,

523
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:41,272
but I know that he splits the Porsche
with somebody.

524
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:43,816
What about the guy
with the cane and the eye patch?

525
00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:46,611
Jesus, your faces.

526
00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:48,321
Excuse you?

527
00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:51,741
I love you.

528
00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,076
Oh, my God.

529
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,245
It's okay. You look great.

530
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:57,413
You look really great.

531
00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,415
- But my face.
- Okay.

532
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,503
- I'm gonna handle this.
- I think she looks great.

533
00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:07,465
It's like you take a tiny bit of tissue
and you've got this on lock.

534
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:10,468
- What's that?
- It's...

535
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:12,970
Ah...

536
00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:26,526
They're so nice.

537
00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:37,203
Mother of the bride.

538
00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:38,996
And the girls.

539
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:46,712
It's all happening, gentlemen.

540
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:48,965
Made it to the altar.

541
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:50,967
And I owe it all to you.

542
00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,502
Hannah, you coming?