1 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,859 Excuse... Excuse... Excuse... Are you serious? 2 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:29,613 You couldn't wait like one second for me to exit this moving walkway? 3 00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:31,866 This country is bullshit. 4 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,117 Okay, nobody has any manners, 5 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,618 and do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why? 6 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:37,580 'Cause you're all so self-involved and self-serving 7 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:42,293 and your behavior here today, sir, was a perfect embodiment of that truth, okay? 8 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:44,962 Why am I here? 9 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,967 Why am I here? 10 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,053 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES) 11 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,555 (SCREAMS) 12 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:14,241 Okay, I do not love that the toilet's in the shower. 13 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,827 FRAN: Small price to pay for freedom, buddy. 14 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:23,000 I've been eating Bugles my whole life and I still don't even know if I like them. 15 00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,418 It's just, like, something to do. 16 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,173 Ah, I love this. We are on the road. 17 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,634 We can do whatever we want for the whole summer. 18 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,178 And it's just us. 19 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,013 It is just us. 20 00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:38,599 For the next three months. 21 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,477 We don't have to deal with the kids or the administration. 22 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,022 Elijah or your needy friends. 23 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,109 It's just us. 24 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,260 Be right back, babe. 25 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,272 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 26 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,108 (MOBILE PHONE CHIMES) 27 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,286 (MOBILE PHONE VIBRATING) 28 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,664 Hello? 29 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:44,874 What the hell's going on? 30 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,668 I don't want to go on the trip. I think you should just go without me. 31 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,379 Hannah, what the hell? I'm coming in. 32 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,882 Listen, I really didn't want to go on the trip, 33 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,258 but I didn't want to be a wet blanket, 34 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,926 and then you rented the house car, okay? 35 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,636 And just please don't come in here. 36 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,930 - Hannah, it's me. - Nope. 37 00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:04,143 - Are you serious? - I really don't want you to come in here. 38 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,853 Hannah, open the door. 39 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,480 Hey. 40 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:09,940 Why are you running from me? 41 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,150 Hannah. 42 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,485 - (URINATING) - What the... 43 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,613 I am not a monster. 44 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,780 Define monster! 45 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,991 Just tell me what is going on. 46 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:23,037 I don't want to be in this relationship anymore and I don't know how to get out! 47 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,164 FRAN: (GROANING) Shit! 48 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,167 Will you just stop so I can talk to you, please? 49 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,293 No! 50 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,461 - I feel like I'm hunting you. - Leave me alone! 51 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,296 I feel like this is The Most Dangerous Game. 52 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:33,714 - Please! - Come on. 53 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,675 - Just stop. Ahh! - Shit. 54 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,385 Are you all right? 55 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,179 Could you please just stop? 56 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,347 Stay away, okay? 57 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,225 Just stop running and talk to me like an adult. 58 00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,560 Please, I don't want to talk, okay? 59 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,229 I don't want to do this. 60 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,855 I don't belong with you. 61 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,649 I'm sorry. Please go. 62 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,152 Fuck! 63 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,405 This is ridiculous. 64 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,494 Fine! We are breaking up, I guess. That's it. 65 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,581 So, let me drive you back to the city. Let's go. 66 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,584 I'll be fine here, okay? I can't get back in the house car. 67 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,586 I am offering to take you back. 68 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,672 That's just me being a nice person, all right? 69 00:04:14,797 --> 00:04:16,465 God, you're so fucking selfish. 70 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,425 Please, just go, Fran. 71 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,593 You know what? 72 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,930 My brother thought you were so fuckin' rude, and he was right. 73 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,975 He fucking handwrote a letter saying how rude you were. 74 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,393 That's how much he meant it. 75 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:31,522 I can't believe I wasted an entire year hanging out with your rude ass. 76 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:32,982 Seriously. 77 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,611 You know what? Have a great summer, okay? 78 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,572 Fuck you. 79 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,870 (CAR ENGINE STARTING) 80 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,626 FRAN: Fuck you! 81 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:56,922 Okay. 82 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,924 (SIGHS) 83 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,931 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) 84 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:08,976 Hey, what's up? 85 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,521 I'm by the side of the road in some random part of upstate New York. 86 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,232 - That's what's up. - Wait, what? Where's Fran? 87 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,609 We broke up. Can you get a Zipcar and come get me? 88 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:20,112 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I want to hear all about it later, 89 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:21,530 but right now we're recording 90 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,992 and our tour manager needs to get an entire demo set to our gig. 91 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,287 Marnie, what does any of that even mean? Please just come get me. 92 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,665 I'm sorry, I can't. I wish I could help. Why don't you just call an Uber? 93 00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,710 No, I got kicked off the app for having too low a rating. You know that. 94 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,547 Well, I would ask Desi if one of his loser fake artiste friends with a car 95 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,215 wants to do it for a little bit of extra cash, 96 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:43,302 but he isn't talking to me right now because he's a child. 97 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:48,057 (SINGING) Poison berries on my bush... 98 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,978 The only time he looks at me when we're together is when we're singing. 99 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,731 Why don't you ask Ray? Didn't he just get, like, a truck or something? 100 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,943 The last thing I need is a lecture from Ray about my, like, lifestyle choices, okay? 101 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,154 Just, good luck with your hit album. 102 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:03,655 Okay, I love you, I'm... 103 00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,204 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) 104 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:16,919 You've reached Jessa. 105 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,838 If this is an emergency, you should hang up and dial 9-1-1. 106 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,423 I really don't listen to my messages. 107 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,635 Go fuck yourself. 108 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,098 LAIRD: Let's see who's coming to see us. 109 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:30,974 Let's see who's coming to see us. 110 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,394 Hey, Tall Adam. What are you doing here? 111 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,604 I've been calling Caroline a bunch and she hasn't called me back. 112 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,856 Just want to make sure everything's okay. 113 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:40,192 That is very cool of you, man. Very cool of you. 114 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,986 But we're all good here. We're all good here, right? 115 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,073 Just plucking away, keeping little Sample alive. 116 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,034 You sticking with the nickname Sample, huh? 117 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,912 Uh, yeah. I mean, she is sample-sized, right? 118 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,498 Sometimes I call her Samps. Pete Sampras. 119 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,666 Where's Caroline? 120 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,043 That would be the question of the day, my man. 121 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,878 That is the question of the day. 122 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,506 She went out three days ago to get some pepitas, 123 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,591 and I guess she's still looking for them. 124 00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:06,593 What? 125 00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:08,804 Pepitas, those toasted pumpkin seeds? 126 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,972 - Kind of a Mexican... - No, no, no, no, no. 127 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,306 She's been gone three days? 128 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:15,060 Yeah, yeah. I've been, uh, you know, starting to wonder if I should get worried, 129 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,186 but I think she's fine. 130 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,689 Yes, Laird, you should be worried. 131 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,732 Where the fuck could she have gone? 132 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,192 Hard to say, right? 133 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,529 Oh, here comes Uncle Adam. He's coming to say hi. 134 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,116 RAY: (SINGING ALONG) Meet you all the way 135 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,619 Rosanna 136 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,621 Meet you all the way 137 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,920 What the fuck? 138 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,719 RAY: Took me an hour and a half to get up here. 139 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,513 Put a lot of unnecessary miles on this baby. 140 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,098 HANNAH: Thank you so much, Ray. 141 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:56,560 RAY: Well, what am I gonna do, let you rot out here like a piece of fruit? 142 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,188 Plus, I know how much you hate being outdoors. 143 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,357 Ray, you're the truest and most loving friend I've ever had. 144 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:04,776 Okay, that's sad. 145 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,738 Do you think I made a mistake breaking up with Fran? 146 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,867 Listen, Hannah, if you have the impulse to run away in your pajamas, 147 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,077 that's a pretty strong indicator that it's not working out. 148 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,039 You gotta respect your instincts, you know? Trust your gut. 149 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,252 You know? 150 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,637 What... What are you doing? 151 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,389 I'm just trying to give you something to say thank you 152 00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,183 for how kind you've been to me. 153 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185 Hannah, you really don't have to, uh... 154 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,811 It's okay. Just relax, okay? 155 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,063 Yeah, but you don't have to... 156 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,565 - (PERFORMING FELLATIO) - Oh, Jesus. 157 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,151 Okay, um. 158 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,071 Uh, I don't think this is good for our friendship. 159 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,616 Ray, I just need you to relax and "enjoi" the journey. 160 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:56,495 Right, maybe we can just talk about this for a second. 161 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,206 I don't want to talk because I've got a dick in my mouth. 162 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,793 I just need you to relax and try to be present in the moment. 163 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,294 Okay, I'm trying to relax. 164 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,965 And you just tell me what you like and just let me do it to you. 165 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,092 Is this... Is this okay? 166 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,094 Don't touch the top of my head. I really don't like that. 167 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,470 That's very triggering for me. 168 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,430 Just try mixing it up down there. 169 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,015 - Okay. - Different energy. 170 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,393 Okay, that's... 171 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,029 (SCREAMS) 172 00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:33,824 Fuck! 173 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,034 What the fuck happened? 174 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,204 (CREAKING) 175 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,164 (BOTH SCREAMING) 176 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,837 LAIRD: All right, here's the last few websites she was on. 177 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,839 Rihanna's Oprah interview. 178 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,425 Now, do you say "Riahna" or do you say "Rianna"? 179 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,011 (STAMMERING) "Riahna." 180 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,220 "Riahna"? That's what I say. 181 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,347 A lot of people say "Rianna." I think they're wrong. 182 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,600 Joey Pepperoni menu. 183 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,352 Wesley Snipes' Wikipedia page. 184 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,605 There's not, like, a place that you guys leave little, uh, 185 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,856 little notes for each other? 186 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,275 What, like the fridge? 187 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,610 Yeah, like the fridge. 188 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,780 Hey, man, you ever see, uh, Passenger 57? 189 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,533 Isn't that awesome? It was funny, man. 190 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:20,037 "Always bet on black," man. That's cool. That's a cool dude, man. 191 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,705 You ever see Demolition Man? 192 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,458 I had a haircut like that once. It was pretty sweet. 193 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,460 Hey, man! Hey! 194 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,754 Just be cool with my fridge, dude! 195 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,215 There's a note under your fridge. 196 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:37,971 Oh, yeah, that's, uh, where my Wailers tickets ended up. 197 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,600 "Dearest Mouse." I'm Mouse. 198 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,436 "It is with a heavy heart 199 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:48,065 "and tortured soul 200 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,484 "that I write these words. 201 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,154 "Since the birth of Sample, 202 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:58,325 "which was and still remains my greatest achievement, 203 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:02,496 "I've been racked with inexplicable guilt and shame. 204 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,458 "My mind has been infected by horrendous thoughts, 205 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,919 "a desire 206 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:16,009 "to hurt little Sample 207 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,431 "and in my darkest moments, myself. 208 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,355 (SIGHS) 209 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,776 "The best thing for everyone is for me to leave. 210 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:38,156 "This is the most anguishing thing I will ever be forced to do. 211 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:43,954 "Be as kind to our daughter as I was cruel to you 212 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,164 "and she will have a wonderful life. 213 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,792 "Love, Caroline." 214 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,171 (SIGHS) 215 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,801 Oh, man. 216 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,973 Would you watch Sample for a bit? 217 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,308 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure, yeah. 218 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,318 (DOOR CLOSES) 219 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,826 Fuck, Ray. Ahh. 220 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,036 (HANNAH GROANS) 221 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,847 Fuck, Ray. 222 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,849 What happened? 223 00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,726 - Oh, my God. - Are you okay? 224 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,853 I think I'm okay. 225 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,855 I don't think I have any broken bones or anything. 226 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,190 What the fuck was that? 227 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,859 Well, you were driving and then suddenly you just swerved... 228 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,402 No, what the fuck were you doing? 229 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,362 That? I was trying to blow you. 230 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,447 Why? 231 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:04,993 Why? 'Cause I was trying to give you what you want 'cause I'm not a selfish person. 232 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412 This is a brand-new coffee truck. 233 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,832 Brand-new. Do you have any idea how much a brand-new coffee truck costs? 234 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:12,751 $600? 235 00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:19,007 You are callow, you are insufferable, and you have really fucked me this time! 236 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,175 Thank you very much. 237 00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,052 Are you mad 'cause you couldn't get hard? 238 00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:24,721 $50,000. 239 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,057 That's how much a brand-new coffee truck costs. 240 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:28,183 50K. 241 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:32,062 And I can get hard whenever the fuck I want to get hard. 242 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,022 Okay, great, so you just didn't want to get hard. 243 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,191 Like most men, you had no desire to get hard. 244 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,027 Okay, let's call Marnie Michaels, 'cause clearly you don't believe me. 245 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,111 Put her on speakerphone. 246 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,030 I don't want to call Marnie and ask if you can get hard. 247 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,615 - Shoshanna Shapiro? - I don't want to talk to anyone... 248 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,408 - Emily Goldstein. - I don't want to talk... 249 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,743 Susan Farber. Ask anybody. 250 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,620 I believe it. You can get so hard. 251 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,788 There we go. 252 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:52,749 Fuck! 253 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:56,127 (SINGING) You're my little pumpkin pop 254 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:59,464 Pumpkin pop, pumpkin pop 255 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,884 Hanging at the chocolate shop 256 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,930 Waiting for the moon to drop 257 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,308 Okay, we're good. 258 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,435 Okay, I couldn't get formula. I went to two places. 259 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,312 They didn't have it, so I just got whole milk. 260 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,481 No, no. She can't drink that shit. 261 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,526 It's a baby. She's not gonna know the difference, Adam. 262 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,945 It doesn't matter if she knows the difference. She can't digest it. 263 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,949 I know that. I was kidding. 264 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,617 I'm going out to get formula now. 265 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,619 I just came back to see if you needed anything else. 266 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,787 No, just food. 267 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,164 Just food for the baby would be great. 268 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,668 Oh, my God. It is so hot. 269 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,712 Have you been out today? 270 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:43,466 I'm going. I'm going. I need a second. I just got in. 271 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,635 - It's so hot outside. - Here, could you take her for a second? 272 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:46,720 I've had to pee for the past hour 273 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:47,846 and I don't want to do it in front of her. 274 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,014 She'll think my dick's a monster. 275 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,473 - I've never held a baby. - (SAMPLE CRYING) 276 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:51,892 I've never held a baby. 277 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,643 Shh. 278 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:58,565 Adam, how about I hold your penis while you hold the baby? 279 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,654 SCOTT:... going to Croatia unless you have a sick boat the entire time. 280 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,323 You can cruise around the islands. 281 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,034 What? Shit. 282 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,535 Shoshanna. 283 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,372 Can you just give us a sec, Jer? 284 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:16,875 Great seeing you, Shosh! 285 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,422 - Hi. - Hey, Scott. Um... 286 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,175 (STAMMERING) What are you doing here? 287 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,679 Remember, this is my little place that I... I told you about this place. 288 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,557 What, um... Why aren't you in Japan? 289 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,019 Um, I learned that it's very hard to emigrate, 290 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:38,063 which is why you rarely hear the word "emigrant." 291 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,940 Oh. 292 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,192 And were you gonna call me, or... 293 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,403 I don't know. 294 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,533 Okay, so, um, what's going on with you? 295 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,410 Uh, what are you doing for work? 296 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,704 Um, I don't know, Scott. I kind of just got back 297 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,915 and all these questions are, like, seriously stressing me out, 298 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,875 and I'm currently reading about how to get on welfare, 299 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,210 so I don't really have time for this. 300 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:01,878 You're going on welfare? 301 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,380 I don't know. I'm thinking about it, okay? 302 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,716 There aren't exactly, like, a wealth of options for an NYU graduate 303 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,594 with experience in many aspects of brand management. 304 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:15,058 You can't just take government resources that are for actually needy families 305 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,268 just because you didn't like your job in Japan. 306 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,105 Okay, so now I don't deserve food stamps because I'm Jewish. 307 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,732 You know what? (STAMMERING) 308 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,569 I'm glad I saw you. This is making me really happy that we broke up. 309 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,321 - Oh. Good. - Yeah, thank you for doing that. 310 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,447 Yeah. 311 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,741 You complained the entire time we were together 312 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:34,119 about all of your unemployed, entitled friends, 313 00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,913 and you're actually the worst of all of them. 314 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:40,291 How dare you, Scott? You just preyed upon my deepest fear. 315 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,836 I told you that in confidence during pillow talk. 316 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:46,423 Look, you're figuring out how to go on welfare over omakase sushi. 317 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,632 Maybe you should cut down on your 318 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,634 large-sake-in-the-middle-of-the-day budget first. 319 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,137 - That's a small. - That is not a small, that's a large. 320 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,848 I know... I know what a large sake is. I drink a lot of sake. 321 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,516 That's why you have a sake gut. 322 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,769 You know what? Have a great life. 323 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,604 I hope everything works out for you. 324 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:04,149 - Good luck, Shosh. - Oh, no, no, no. Don't you "good luck" me. 325 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,484 That is, like, the meanest thing that you could ever say to anybody. 326 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,028 And by the way, you're wrong about this place. 327 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,113 The fish is exactly suited to the price. 328 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,657 Well, and thank God you can afford it with your food stamps. 329 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,660 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 330 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,456 I am forever sorry for the shame I have brought upon your establishment. 331 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,295 (RAY SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE) 332 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,632 Bye-bye. Okay. 333 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,470 All right, so my guy won't be able to be here for another four or five hours. 334 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,346 So, call someone else. 335 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,016 Why, so some stranger could come here and rip me off? 336 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:41,853 No, thanks. Dmitri's a good guy. He's on his way. He's gonna do the job right. 337 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,856 Well, what are we gonna do? 338 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,151 We can't just sit here for four or five hours, Ray. 339 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,655 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) 340 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,326 Jessa, can you turn that shit off? 341 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:57,994 Yep. Shit. 342 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,586 Hi, Hannah. How's it going? 343 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,923 Well, it's not good. Why are you whispering? 344 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,009 Um, because I'm holding a baby. 345 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,178 Whose baby are you holding? 346 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,556 It's Caroline's baby. 347 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,685 Are you, uh, with Adam? 348 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:24,938 Mmm-hmm. 349 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,148 I'm helping him with the baby. 350 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,860 Because you're fucking him. 351 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:33,530 Yeah. 352 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,703 She knows. She fully knows. 353 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,747 I can't really think about this right now. 354 00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:45,291 No, I know. Let's never talk about this, ever. 355 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,626 Ever. I mean... 356 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:48,962 It's not like we did anything wrong. 357 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,339 You know, it's... This is how you meet people. 358 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,715 You meet people you know. 359 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,801 It's not like you guys were married. 360 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,428 If I did something immoral, I would feel bad. 361 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,890 But I don't because we didn't do anything wrong. 362 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,351 I mean, do you feel bad? 363 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,436 Jessa, my sister is missing. 364 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,773 She abandoned her child and appears to be suicidal. 365 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,191 I can't really think about Hannah right now. 366 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,154 I know. That's why it's so infuriating that she makes it all about her. 367 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,700 MAN: Hey, you guys all right? 368 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,536 Yeah, we're okay. Help's on the way. Thank you. 369 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,163 Actually, um... 370 00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:25,623 Are you by any chance going into the city? 371 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,792 - Yeah, I am. - Would you mind giving me a ride? 372 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,170 I mean, I'm going to Greenpoint, but any part of Brooklyn will work. 373 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,506 - Thank God. - Hey, Hannah! 374 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,049 Hannah, what are you doing? 375 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,678 This isn't 1974. You can't just hop into a car with a groovy stranger. 376 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,430 I need to get home, Ray. 377 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,099 Hannah, I forbid you from leaving in this vehicle. 378 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,894 Dude, she's an adult woman, man. Let her do what she wants. 379 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,897 Hey, hey! I got your plates! 380 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,899 You put a hand on her, 381 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,776 I will hunt you down like Liam fucking Neeson! 382 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,361 You hear me? 383 00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:00,700 (SINGING) So you can find me in Oaxaca 384 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:05,747 Where I go to pay my dues 385 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:11,085 Yeah, you'll find me in a dark bar 386 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,297 Where no gringos are 387 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:18,218 Yeah, you'll find me in a bar, Oaxaca 388 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,432 Hey, you guys... You guys, let's take five. 389 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,809 Actually, I'd rather not take five. 390 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,145 Hey, let's take five. Take five. 391 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,940 Yes, you made it. 392 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,775 Of course. I'm a woman of my word. 393 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:34,943 Amazing. 394 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,195 - Hi. - Hey. 395 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:38,696 Who are you? 396 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,992 Oh, uh, hey, guys, um, this is Tandace. 397 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,579 We are super lucky. She's gonna help us out with our stage decor on our tour. 398 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,749 TANDACE: Pilar made some arepas. I brought you some. 399 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,918 (DESI SPEAKING SPANISH) 400 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,711 (SNIFFS) 401 00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,259 Wait a minute. Is this for real? 402 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,219 Are you guys, like, pranking me or something? 403 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:04,180 Desi, she cannot do our, like, stage decor. 404 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,765 - See what I mean? - I got this. 405 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,059 - Marnie? - Yeah? 406 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:09,602 Can we go solo a second? 407 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,521 Yeah. 408 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,526 Who are you? 409 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,652 I'm Tandace Moncrief. 410 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,862 Yes, I am familiar with your very fake name. 411 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,865 I just mean, how do you know my whatever the fuck he is to me now? 412 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,660 I guess at this point he's so close to being my ex-husband. 413 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,579 Desi and I have known each other for a long, long time. 414 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,707 That's so interesting 'cause he's never mentioned you 415 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,916 and you also weren't at our wedding. 416 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,669 - No, no, I wasn't. - Hmm. 417 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:38,047 Actually, I was facilitating an anti-violence communication workshop... 418 00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,173 Of course. 419 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:42,885 Making me uniquely qualified to handle this situation. 420 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,388 Desi tells me you got some rage stuff. 421 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,058 "Rage stuff." "Rage stuff"? Really? 422 00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:52,103 "Rage"? No, no, no, no. You have that all fucking wrong. 423 00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,814 I am cool as a fucking cucumber all the time. 424 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,065 - Marnie? - Yeah? 425 00:21:56,399 --> 00:22:01,154 Listen, right now it's easier for Desi to separate the music and his personal life. 426 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,156 Obviously, you're a major part of the music. 427 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:07,035 But for his life, we feel 428 00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:12,665 that it would just be better if you didn't exist for a little while. 429 00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:15,251 Oh, interesting. Okay, so I think I understand now. 430 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,378 When we're singing and playing and making music, 431 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,922 he can talk to me and tell me what I'm doing wrong and pick at me. 432 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:23,176 That's all cool. But the minute we stop, I cease to exist. 433 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,428 I become, essentially, a ghost. 434 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,222 - Exactly. - TANDACE: Exactly. 435 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:32,727 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, well, Tandace, I so accept your apology. 436 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,605 And thank you so much for all of your spiritual guidance. 437 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:38,107 Thank you, and nama-fucking-ste. 438 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,406 Hey, was that your dad back there? 439 00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:47,325 Are you guys in, uh, like, a fight or something? 440 00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,660 Oh, no, no, no. That's just my old boss. 441 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,164 You got a lot of stuff in the car. 442 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,124 Yeah, I'm moving. 443 00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:02,340 Okay, um, I'm actually just receiving a call, if you'll hold on one moment. 444 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:03,591 Excuse me. 445 00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:11,349 Marnie, what's up? Why you calling? 446 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,519 You called me. Um, and I still can't pick you up, Hannah. 447 00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,938 By the way, do you think I have a rage problem? 448 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,524 So, um, I'm hitchhiking, actually. 449 00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,610 I, uh, got in a car that pulled over for me at the side of the road, 450 00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:24,195 so I am in Hector... 451 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,781 I'm sorry, I didn't catch your last name. 452 00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:31,077 - Medina. - Hector Medina's car. 453 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:35,331 He is a Latin male in his mid-30s. 454 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:36,833 Close-cropped hair. 455 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,626 Wait a minute, Hannah, is this a safety call? 456 00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:42,380 - Mmm-hmm. - Oh, my God. Okay, you are not safe. 457 00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,340 Otherwise you would not be making a safety call. 458 00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:47,510 So, what you need to do is get out of the car immediately. 459 00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:48,803 Yep, yep, yep. 460 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:52,098 I'm sorry, but I picked you up for company 461 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:53,599 and it's just kind of rude that you're on the phone. 462 00:23:53,683 --> 00:23:55,143 Sorry, my friend's just... 463 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,687 Marnie, I gotta go. Can't do this now. 464 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,730 Okay, okay, Hannah. Just pretend to hang up 465 00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:01,691 but leave me on the phone so that I can hear you, 466 00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:04,569 and then the first chance you get, tell him you have to pee and then run. 467 00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:05,778 Yes. 468 00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:10,908 You know, I actually have to pee really bad, so wherever you can pull over. 469 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,202 There's nowhere really to stop around here. 470 00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:16,080 Okay, but I've gotta pee, like, now, so whenever you can pull it over, 471 00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:19,041 I will literally pee anywhere. Right here would actually be great. 472 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,418 - Here. - At this exact spot. 473 00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:23,671 I don't think I can, uh... 474 00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:26,257 I won't look, okay? I promise. 475 00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:29,844 What, you don't trust me? 476 00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:32,013 You get in my car and you don't trust me? 477 00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:33,431 - I trust you! - Wow. 478 00:24:33,514 --> 00:24:35,516 I trust you. I trust you. 479 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,518 In fact, you and I trust each other 480 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,021 and I am peeing in this bottle because I have to pee, 481 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:42,231 but also to show that you and I do trust each other 482 00:24:42,523 --> 00:24:44,901 and we would never do anything to harm one another. 483 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,028 Okay. 484 00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,532 Okay. 485 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,784 Hannah, are you seriously about to pee right now? 486 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,370 - (SAMPLE CRYING) - (JESSA HUMMING) 487 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,167 - (SAMPLE SPITTING UP) - (GASPS) Oh, gosh. 488 00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:03,961 Oh, my Lord. Oh, Lord. 489 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,714 I think... Adam, I think she just spit up on me. 490 00:25:07,048 --> 00:25:08,883 You need to hold her. Just... Please. 491 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:12,553 Wait, look, did she... Oh, my God, it stinks. 492 00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:14,347 Oh, my God, Adam. 493 00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:16,182 Wait, where are the towels? 494 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:18,976 You have to help me. It's dripping all the way down my back 495 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:21,062 and into my butt. Adam. 496 00:25:23,105 --> 00:25:24,148 Why aren't you helping me? 497 00:25:24,899 --> 00:25:27,818 You're an adult. She's a baby. 498 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:31,280 Why do you need more help than a baby? 499 00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:34,825 (SCOFFS) 500 00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:38,412 So, why are you moving? 501 00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,541 Well, it's... It's kind of a long story. 502 00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:45,753 I was in a pretty fucked-up relationship and I just had to get out. 503 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:47,713 It's complicated. 504 00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:50,591 You know, the relationship just got too intense. 505 00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:53,594 Things became abusive. 506 00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:57,682 Did you hit her? 507 00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,517 No, no, no, no. I couldn't do that. 508 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,727 I wouldn't. That's what was so fucked up. 509 00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:04,188 There was nothing I could do when she would beat the shit out of me. 510 00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:05,982 She hit you? 511 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:07,275 Oh, my God. All the time. 512 00:26:07,358 --> 00:26:09,944 She would fuckin' hit me with lamps, 513 00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:12,071 - kick me in the balls. - Oh, God. 514 00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:13,614 Slap me with magazines. 515 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:17,410 The last straw was when she pointed a fucking gun in my face. 516 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,038 I wrestled that shit out of her hands and I packed my bags. 517 00:26:21,622 --> 00:26:24,500 Now I'm getting as far the fuck away from Nevada as I can. 518 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,169 Yeah, totally. 519 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:30,464 You and I are two peas in a pod, my friend, 'cause I just broke up with my boyfriend 520 00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:33,092 and that's how I ended up like trash by the side of the road. 521 00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:35,011 Oh, shit. No way. 522 00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:36,679 Why'd you break up? 523 00:26:37,179 --> 00:26:39,765 Oh, um, you know, he turned out to be a dick. 524 00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:43,519 I guess what I'm even more upset about than the breakup 525 00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:45,688 is the fact that I just got official confirmation 526 00:26:45,813 --> 00:26:48,816 that my ex-boyfriend and my now ex-best friend are fucking. 527 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,318 Oh, shit. What? 528 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:53,279 Dude, they could've found somebody else, right? 529 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,656 I mean, what's he got, like, a diamond dick? 530 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,992 She have a golden pussy or something? 531 00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,203 They might have those things. 532 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:04,165 But... 533 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,167 Oh, damn. 534 00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:07,877 There it is. 535 00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:10,546 I've never seen the city in real life before. 536 00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:11,881 Well, there it is. 537 00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:13,841 (WHOOPING) 538 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:18,054 Yes, you made it to New York City, baby! 539 00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:19,680 You're really excited! 540 00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:21,724 It's like, it's New York, right? 541 00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:24,018 It feels like anything is possible there. 542 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:25,895 I'm gonna go see Les Mis! 543 00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:27,563 - Yeah! - I'm gonna get my portrait done, 544 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:29,357 but I want to do the profile, you know? 545 00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:31,525 Like, nobody ever does their profile, so I wanna do that. 546 00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:32,735 (HECTOR LAUGHING) 547 00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:35,154 You're gonna like it. It's a good place to live. 548 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,073 There's a lot of different kinds of food, good pizza. 549 00:27:38,199 --> 00:27:39,700 It's a good place to start over. 550 00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:43,537 Yeah.