1
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:10,469
Don't you get it, Hannah? I am not a person
who yells, okay?

2
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:11,887
I am not a person who freaks out.

3
00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:14,265
I'm a chill fucking person,

4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,059
and you made me go fucking insane!

5
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,853
I'm really sorry.

6
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,521
You're fuckin' sorry?

7
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,898
I've never acted like this before
in a relationship! All right?

8
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,275
Not once.

9
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,818
I'm a good fuckin' boyfriend!

10
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,195
And you... You just shit all over that.

11
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,823
You shit all over it, and you
somehow make me the fuckin' bad guy?

12
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,200
Fran, stop, okay?

13
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:34,535
You're a dick.

14
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,496
A secret dick, to be sure. But you are a dick.

15
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:40,666
You're very judgmental.
You're very moralistic.

16
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:43,335
You definitely would've
sent witches to trial in <i>The Crucible.</i>

17
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:46,797
And that might work
for some, like, administrative assistant

18
00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,382
that you meet in a sports bar,

19
00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:49,800
but it doesn't work for me.

20
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,344
Our relationship didn't work out.

21
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,554
It sucks.

22
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:54,847
At this point, it really doesn't matter

23
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,891
who the asshole was
or who the asshole wasn't,

24
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,018
so why can't you just take your stuff and go?

25
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,145
You wouldn't know real love

26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,938
if it bit your fuckin' tit off.

27
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,148
I'm sure you're right.

28
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,691
You said to me, point-blank,

29
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,860
that you had never
been in a healthy relationship before.

30
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,528
So, how would you even know
if this was healthy?

31
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,655
- I wouldn't know.
- Maybe, for all you know,

32
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,949
you just said goodbye
to the best thing that ever happened to you.

33
00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:15,076
Probably, I did.

34
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,703
You're gonna regret this so fuckin' hard.

35
00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:19,955
Fran, I don't know why
you can't just give this up.

36
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791
You don't even like me.

37
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:25,002
It does not matter if I don't like you, okay?

38
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:26,504
I love you.

39
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,216
I would be happy to pay for an Uber

40
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,802
to transport you and your things
back to your home.

41
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:13,175
Fuck.

42
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,595
So, what, you had a sex dream about Ray?

43
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:19,431
You've had actual sex with Ray,
which is way worse.

44
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:22,643
And I've had sex dreams
about everybody I've known, including you.

45
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,936
You raped me.

46
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:27,398
No, it wasn't a sex dream, it was a love dream.

47
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,983
We weren't even having sex in it.

48
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,610
I mean, I still came,
but it was from something else.

49
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,070
Oh, Marnie, I don't wanna hear about this.

50
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,363
And you can't come.

51
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,282
I was brushing his hair.

52
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,325
Well, that's a fool's errand if I ever heard one.

53
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,620
He had this long, gorgeous hair...

54
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,581
It was like Khaleesi from <i>Game of Thrones,</i>

55
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,708
except it was raven black,

56
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:49,336
and I was just brushing it slowly and tenderly,

57
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,672
and I was getting him ready for school.

58
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,092
So, he was, like, your daughter?

59
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,011
Yeah, in a sense.

60
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,971
God, I just can't get it out of my mind.

61
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,682
It's like the best thing
that's happened to me in months.

62
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,268
That's the most depressing thing I've heard
in my entire life.

63
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,021
And you know what? I wish it was real.

64
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,524
What is wrong with me?

65
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:13,444
Well, your sandals, for starters.

66
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,124
- Shosh?
- Ray.

67
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,043
Shosh, is that really you?

68
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,171
Oh, my God. Oh, Shosh.

69
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:35,090
Mmm. Shosh, look at you.

70
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,425
I can't believe it's you.

71
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:39,511
You're a full-grown woman now.

72
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,138
Are you guys closed?

73
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,641
No, but I'm about to shut it down for the day.

74
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,476
I've got a community board meeting
in a little while,

75
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,187
and then there's a Dennis Kucinich
live web stream I wanna hop onto.

76
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563
What the fuck happened in here?

77
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,316
Yeah, that.

78
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,525
Across the street over there.

79
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,529
We've been outpaced,
outshined, outmaneuvered, out-everything

80
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:01,784
by those neo-hippie gender-neutral monsters.

81
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,827
It's very bleak, Shosh. It's very bleak.

82
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,829
Hermie says that if business
doesn't pick up in here,

83
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,665
he's gonna turn this place
into a billiards store.

84
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,084
- Not bar, store.
- Okay, you have to fight this, Ray.

85
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,253
You have to have a wartime attitude.

86
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,797
Maybe ask for some help,
something I know you're fucking terrible at.

87
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,090
But ask for it anyways.

88
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,383
Who's gonna help me, Shosh?

89
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,677
Who? My last remaining employee's Elijah.

90
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,804
Hermie's consuming
heroic amounts of painkillers.

91
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,890
My coffee truck is a complete bust
for reasons I can't even get into,

92
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,558
although they involve Hannah

93
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:29,103
trying to suckle the head of my penis
at 50 miles an hour.

94
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,229
Okay, I'm gonna help you.

95
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,647
Seriously, what do you think
I was doing in Japan?

96
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:35,192
I mean, other than learning origami
and eating candy that tastes like other candy.

97
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,318
I do marketing, Ray.

98
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:37,987
It is my area of expertise.

99
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,530
I went to mother-effing college for it.

100
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,490
So, you know, at least
let me have a crack at that.

101
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,784
We do make a pretty good team.

102
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:44,910
The best.

103
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,289
Wait, Hannah?

104
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,041
- Yeah...
- Don't tell me.

105
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:55,629
Can I help you with anything?

106
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,340
I don't fuckin' know.

107
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:01,427
Um. I guess I'm looking for items that say,

108
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,222
"I really am the one for you,

109
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:09,143
"despite your misgivings about monogamy
and your penthouse full of whores."

110
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:14,148
I have been in a very open relationship

111
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,817
with a very well-known
television personality.

112
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,821
- Okay.
- And I am really hoping to

113
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:21,947
close it.

114
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,782
Say no more.

115
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,835
This is really speaking to me for that.

116
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,963
- Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.

117
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,423
- Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.

118
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,258
All right.

119
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,844
Why aren't you working
in a more high-end retail establishment?

120
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,846
Now, why aren't you shopping in one?

121
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,599
Oh! Touché.

122
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,434
- Uh?
- D'Emilia.

123
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,602
D'Emilia.

124
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,145
Hmm.

125
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,272
Well, let's <i>Pretty Woman</i> this shit, D'Emilia.

126
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,440
You got it.

127
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,629
Wow. Good thing
school's not in session,

128
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,340
or that outfit would definitely not fly.

129
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:24,468
Oh. You know, I'm kind of
trying to spend less time

130
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,303
in places where my outfit doesn't fly.

131
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,806
You know, my proverbial outfit.

132
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,725
Um. I'm not sure I follow.

133
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,185
Principal Toby,

134
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,523
this has been
a really, really amazing opportunity for me.

135
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,484
You've taken a lot of chances on me,
and I'm sure you've taken a lot of flak,

136
00:06:40,526 --> 00:06:42,152
which is why I'm gonna seem
like a real wench

137
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,405
when I say that I don't think
I'll be coming back next year.

138
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,533
Oh, gosh. I... Why?

139
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,827
Did you get... Did you get another job?

140
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,037
Is it those bastards
from Fort Greene Montessori?

141
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,039
No. What it is, is that I've been trying

142
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,166
to stay more open
to signals from the universe,

143
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,502
and I don't know if I can
be open to those signals

144
00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:01,004
if I'm tuned in to another song.

145
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,840
This job being the song.

146
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:06,009
Okay, Hannah. I wish you all the best.

147
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,887
I really do. You know, you've been so, um...

148
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,347
Eye-opening to me.

149
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,766
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

150
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,853
I mean, with all your setbacks
and your issues, you...

151
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,689
You live your life with such joie de vivre.

152
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,191
You're right, I do.
I do have a lot of joie de vivre.

153
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,734
You do. You really do.

154
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,279
And it's unusual to see that in a teacher.

155
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,739
I mean, it's unusual to see it in anybody.

156
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,867
I really hope you find what you're looking for.

157
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,285
Thank you, Principal Toby.

158
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,744
And for the record,

159
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,955
I think you're a lot funkier
than people give you credit for.

160
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:41,545
And, by the way,
I'm really sorry I showed you my pussy.

161
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,880
I was in a bad relationship,

162
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,133
and I was blasting a lot of energy
in the wrong direction.

163
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,886
Forget about it. Water under the bridge.

164
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,596
Thank you, sir.

165
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,401
Hannah!

166
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,904
Hannah. Hannah Horvath.

167
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,655
Tally, hey.

168
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:11,742
Oh, my God.

169
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,161
This is so crazy.

170
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,164
I was literally just thinking about you.

171
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,499
Um, why?

172
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,626
I am writing a novel

173
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,253
about the tyranny
of political correctness at Oberlin,

174
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,255
so, of course, I'm including
the sophomore year incident

175
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,091
where you called our RA a Jewish Hitler
and then <i>Heil'd</i> him.

176
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,677
Yeah, well, you know,
that's sort of my story to tell.

177
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,639
You do remember it. Yeah. How are you?

178
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:37,184
- Um. I'm okay.
- It's a work in progress,

179
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,478
- as it is for everybody, I would say.
- Oh.

180
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:40,604
People big and small.

181
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,856
Mmm-hmm. I do know that, girl.

182
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:45,317
I just got back
from a writing retreat at MacDowell,

183
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,611
so you're, like, the sixth person I've seen
since I left my cabin.

184
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,696
So, I'm just like... I feel so crazy!

185
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:52,699
Like, I just want to, like,
murder someone in the face!

186
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,535
Where are you headed?
Do you wanna hang out?

187
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:55,702
Um.

188
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:58,622
I'm not really headed
anywhere in particular at the moment.

189
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,790
Okay.

190
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,458
Well, that's perfect

191
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,627
'cause I'm literally free until 3:00 a.m.

192
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,713
And I guess I'm free till I have to go home
to Michigan for Thanksgiving.

193
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,799
- So, let's do it.
- Let's catch up.

194
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,509
- Yeah.
- Okay.

195
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,553
Wow. This is crazy.

196
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,304
You look exactly the same.

197
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,890
- Thanks, your bike looks really expensive.
- Yeah.

198
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,811
Well, thank you for agreeing to meet like this.

199
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,145
It's very big of you,

200
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,816
especially considering Tandice.

201
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,652
Thank you for saying that.

202
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,738
That means a lot to me,
praise coming from you.

203
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:32,906
Okay, don't go overboard.

204
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:36,702
I just think that if we're going to
keep the ball rolling post <i>Grey's...</i>

205
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,830
- Mmm-hmm.
- We have to put the past behind us.

206
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,582
I agree.

207
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,875
- This is a big moment for both of us.
- I know.

208
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,086
I just need you to please promise me

209
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,589
that the not-talking-to-me bullshit is over.

210
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,049
- Okay, well, it's tricky, Marn.
- No.

211
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,343
When the aggression train
is headed straight towards me...

212
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,511
- We're collaborators.
- So... Okay.

213
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,514
- I understand we're collaborating.
- It's childish. It doesn't make sense.

214
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:58,682
So, don't judge the way
that my process works.

215
00:09:58,724 --> 00:09:59,766
- Baby.
- Well, I'm not...

216
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,935
- Oh. Hi.
- Hi.

217
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,438
- It's time to go.
- Okay, my <i>e ku'u.</i>

218
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,273
Um, actually,
there's a couple more bullet points

219
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,608
- we're supposed to go over...
- Des...

220
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,359
- We said eight minutes.
- Yeah.

221
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,777
Any more than that would be...

222
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,779
- Re-immersion. Right.
- Mmm-hmm.

223
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,865
We're done talking.

224
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,743
Yes.

225
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,953
- I got you that tea.
- Oh, thank you.

226
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,247
How does that make you feel?

227
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,917
You know, grateful and excited.

228
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:27,210
Thirsty.

229
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:34,051
Okay, Marn, I will catch you at rehearsal.

230
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,972
- I got you the hemp oil...
- I love that stuff.

231
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,224
Hey, what are you drinking?

232
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,066
We're gonna move that over here.
And then just...

233
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,984
- You're gonna cross out the...
- Yeah, exactly.

234
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,110
Hi.

235
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,738
Elijah, hey. What a surprise.

236
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,574
- Uh, can I talk to you for...
- About something?

237
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,618
Well, if it's about
the troop situation in Kandahar,

238
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,828
then Alexia's already beat you to the punch.

239
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,289
Why don't you wait in the wings?
We'll get a drink afterwards.

240
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,791
- Alexia, can you show him where to stand?
- Sure.

241
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,418
Um, no, actually, I... Can we talk now?

242
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,422
- Get that in the teleprompter?
- Yes.

243
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,095
All right, is this another one
of your states of the union?

244
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,429
No, it's not.

245
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,016
I'm not happy with the way we left things.

246
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:27,270
I was angry, and I felt like you were...

247
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,814
Embarrassed.

248
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:31,608
Even though that's not an emotion
you claim to be able to feel.

249
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,486
Well, I'm gonna be embarrassed
if I miss this broadcast.

250
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,612
What is it?

251
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,200
Dill, I know you would
never admit this to yourself,

252
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:45,706
but don't you wanna be with somebody
who sees you for you?

253
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,041
Beyond all of this?

254
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,501
Elijah.

255
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:53,130
I'm the only person
who's gonna be honest with you

256
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,175
about your bad jokes and the fact

257
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,219
that no, you don't look better
with a shaved head.

258
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,346
And if you say your private life is private,

259
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,015
and then you go and see Cher in Las Vegas,

260
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,892
that's not the same thing
as coming out of the closet.

261
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,979
But all those guys you have around, all those

262
00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,315
fucking guys you just have.

263
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,693
They're only gonna tell you
what you wanna hear,

264
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153
and they're gonna cater to you

265
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:19,364
because of your fame
and the stuff that you have.

266
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,368
I don't want your stuff.

267
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,415
You're gonna end up with nothing.

268
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,169
And you deserve everything.

269
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,509
Dill, don't you wanna be with someone

270
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,220
who sees you for you?

271
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,182
Don't you want a...

272
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,852
A boyfriend-someone?

273
00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:51,938
Who's honest?

274
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,524
Wow.

275
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,196
- Hold on, hold on.
- I...

276
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,282
You're not wrong.

277
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,787
I've wanted something serious for a while,

278
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,373
and maybe this is the time.

279
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,375
- That's what I'm saying.
- That's not what I mean.

280
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,711
I'm looking for someone special.

281
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,131
A special someone.

282
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:19,966
For me.

283
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,930
And I'm not that someone.

284
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,767
What can I say, Elijah?

285
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,977
Love is so mysterious.

286
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,439
- What does he look like?
- Elijah, please.

287
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,316
No, I'm... I'm just curious. I'm really curious.

288
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,943
What does this person even look like?

289
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,986
I don't know,
someone closer to my own age...

290
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,488
- Well...
- Tall...

291
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,948
"Tall"? We're, like, the same height.

292
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,991
How much...
How much taller could a person be?

293
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,830
Someone less aimless.

294
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,084
Thank you.

295
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,128
I feel so supported.

296
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,259
God. You've opened up my mind

297
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,678
and my heart.

298
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,307
I'll think of you every time I go to Brooklyn.

299
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,338
Can I help you?

300
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,799
Oh. Yeah. Hey.

301
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,803
I'm writing a poem

302
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,472
out of found words,

303
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,183
so I'm just, like, looking for some words, man.

304
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,476
That's cool.

305
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,061
Do you mind if we give you a few words?

306
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,188
Yeah, for sure. Like, there are no rules.

307
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,565
There are rules.

308
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,066
"Greenery."

309
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,735
Great.

310
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,986
"Silenced."

311
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,154
Beautiful.

312
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,822
- "Champion."
- "Ally."

313
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,699
- "Tunic."
- Loving them.

314
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,492
"Cat."

315
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,662
I don't know if I'm gonna beat that.
That's really powerful.

316
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,498
Yeah, I haven't really, like,
perfected the rhyme scheme yet,

317
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,542
so these are actually perfect.

318
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:18,793
- Thank you.
- Um.

319
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:27,677
I dated this guy on and off for a while.
Like, two years.

320
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,638
I mean, it was pretty serious, I guess.

321
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,722
Mmm-hmm.

322
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,683
Um. But, uh, we broke up
because I went to the Iowa Writers' Workshop,

323
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,518
which also didn't work out...

324
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:39,189
Yeah, of course. I mean, did you not just feel
so oppressed while you were there?

325
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:43,193
Or was it that, like, annoying emphasis
on traditional fiction that just kind of, like...

326
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,694
I just didn't wanna write.

327
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,738
Yeah, welcome to the club.

328
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:50,075
No, I mean, like, I don't write anymore.

329
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,744
I don't even write to-do lists, I just don't...

330
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:53,912
Do it.

331
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,247
Really?

332
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:00,001
Just, like, total identity switcheroo.

333
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,045
I think that's very brave.

334
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,005
I think that's very beautiful and brave.

335
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:08,051
You know, then I got back, and he was dating
this girl... Woman. Mimi-Rose...

336
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,344
Howard?

337
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,720
You know her?

338
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,223
Mmm-hmm. She is such garbage,

339
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:16,601
and if she fucks with me
at one more TEDxWomen's event,

340
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:20,063
I'm going to kill her, and then I will rejoice.

341
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,400
Her fucking lectures,
she's just like, "Hi, I've got a lot to say

342
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,528
"about the feminist approach
to fucking being a bitch."

343
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,779
Oh, oh. For sure.

344
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,782
She is like a pure white blinding evil.

345
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,243
And then I dated this teacher
who was, like, you know,

346
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,536
fine, but he was a square.

347
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,788
- I'm not, obviously, a square.
- Mmm-mmm.

348
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,581
Plus, I was just using him
to try to get over Adam,

349
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:41,084
who's probably the only person
I've ever loved, so there's that.

350
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,920
So, why not just go after that?

351
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,588
Oh, I can't.

352
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,298
I couldn't, even if I wanted to.

353
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,592
You remember Jessa, right?

354
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,095
Of course.
She tried to cook meth in South Hall,

355
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,639
and then all the hazmat people came,
and we were all so excited.

356
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:58,268
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fairness to her,
she was cooking the meth to sell.

357
00:16:58,309 --> 00:16:59,769
What she was smoking was crack.

358
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,814
- Well, that's good.
- But anyway, he's with her now.

359
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,567
Really?

360
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,902
And is that normal for you?

361
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,238
I mean, aren't you guys, like, best friends?

362
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,614
Thought so.

363
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,324
Oh, fuck.

364
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,828
That's so intense. I'm so sorry.

365
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,666
Yeah, I mean, from what I remember,
she has really amazing hair.

366
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,752
She has amazing hair,
she's an amazing person.

367
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,421
She's just not a person
I can have in my life right now.

368
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,466
And the worst part is, like,

369
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,177
I miss them both, you know? Like...

370
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:36,347
I love them both so much,
I don't know who to warn about the other one.

371
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,476
And I could do what my instinct is,

372
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:43,480
which is run around
and destroy things and scream

373
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,858
and try to throw myself in front of a van
to make a point, but,

374
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,153
end of the day, that would just be me
fulfilling all of their expectations of me,

375
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:52,363
and I would love
to surprise someone sometime.

376
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,533
Ooh, no. Oh.

377
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,327
Lady, no.

378
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,995
That's so sad.

379
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,623
No, no, no, no, no, no.

380
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,542
No. Oh, God.

381
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,961
That hurt me to hear that.

382
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,133
Oh, girl.

383
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,676
I could've eaten seven more hot dogs.

384
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,969
I was just being calm.

385
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,347
Ugh. I feel like seven hot dogs right now.

386
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,683
Plus, I just can't eat a lot when
someone else is eating a minimal amount.

387
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,393
I feel like we should've both just gone for it.

388
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,896
Did you just see
this asshole not lock his bike?

389
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,066
- No.
- Well, I did,

390
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,860
and I hate it when people
are like, "Oh, it was a sign."

391
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,987
But I think this is a sign.

392
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,697
I'm not gonna steal a bike, Tally.

393
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,824
That's what I'm saying.

394
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,409
If you know what I'm saying,
then you know you should do it.

395
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,204
Hop a leg over, get your vagina on that seat,

396
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,872
and ride into the future.

397
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:43,998
You know what? Yes.

398
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,876
People steal things all the time
without consequences.

399
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,586
- It's my time.
- That's right.

400
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,380
- It's my time.
- Inspired by me.

401
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,340
I've never felt more alive!

402
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,591
I have a new bike!

403
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,885
Hey, that's my bike!

404
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,345
- That's my bike!
- Go, go!

405
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,097
- Come back here!
- Keep riding!

406
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,403
- Uh-oh.
- Whoa!

407
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:14,946
Hi.

408
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,541
I wish I wasn't too scared to look at the view.

409
00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:27,792
It's so nice!

410
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,252
Just feel it in your heart.

411
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,213
I can't even believe how fast I'm going!

412
00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,465
Don't look back,
but I look exactly like a poodle

413
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,050
with her head sticking out the window.

414
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,468
Whoo!

415
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,929
Be careful. There's a bump.

416
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,603
- Aw.
- This is me.

417
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,271
Okay, bye.

418
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,940
Well, we should smoke a fatty J, right?

419
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,484
Yeah.

420
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:54,944
You're fun.

421
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,158
Okay, that place

422
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,119
is about to turn into
a Manson Family situation any day now.

423
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,288
I am deeply uncomfortable
with what I have seen.

424
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,664
New York is dead.

425
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,083
This city's no place
for people like us anymore.

426
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,753
Okay, Hermie, I know it feels that way, but, no.

427
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,172
Those hipsters are a very specific subculture,

428
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:17,091
a vocal minority, if you will,
like the Westboro Baptist Church.

429
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,801
But they may all be related for all we know.

430
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:20,970
This is what I propose.

431
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:24,974
Ray's as a destination for the anti-hipster.

432
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,853
You're talking about rebranding?

433
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,313
Oh, a heavy rebranding.

434
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,315
Like when Kentucky Fried Chicken
just became KFC

435
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:35,318
so people would forget that they were,
you know, eating Kentucky food.

436
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:39,697
Gentlemen, it is high time
we start selling coffee to people with jobs.

437
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,991
Yeah.

438
00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:45,370
Good. Beautiful. Good job.

439
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:50,333
Great. Good girl. Good girl.

440
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,043
I've been so fucking jealous of you.

441
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,295
What?

442
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,714
You're... Are you kidding?

443
00:20:56,839 --> 00:21:00,635
You're, like, the bar against which
I've measured everything, you know?

444
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,553
It's like, we graduated
from college four years ago,

445
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,681
and so I calculate, "Oh, it's been four years.

446
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:08,685
"Tally's published two books of essays
and a novel."

447
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:12,021
- And I did a book of poetry as well.
- And you did a book of poetry as well.

448
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:14,148
- Yeah.
- And what have I done?

449
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,900
You know? What have I done with my life

450
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:20,154
besides get not one but two strains of HPV

451
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,532
and gain and lose a total of 33 pounds?

452
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,200
Oh, man.

453
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,997
That's so crazy to be jealous of me.

454
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:32,208
Oh, my God. Cut the shit, seriously.

455
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,045
Fair enough.

456
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,215
Yeah.

457
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:41,926
Yeah, I guess everyone is jealous of me.

458
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,849
Do you know I google myself every day?

459
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:51,019
It's so gross, but I do,

460
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,604
and I just wanna see
if, like, Gawker or whoever they are,

461
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,399
has written some snarky thing
about how much of a hack I am,

462
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,443
or if even there's
just, like, a pretty picture of me

463
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,778
in the <i>Financial Times</i>
roundup of books of the year.

464
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:04,949
I need to see
how other people see me because...

465
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:10,246
It's the only way that I can see myself.

466
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:16,586
I wake up every morning
and I think, "Well, okay,

467
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:18,212
"what would Tally Schifrin do?"

468
00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:22,425
Tally Schifrin is not even me now.

469
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:25,887
She's just, like, this thing that I've created.

470
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:30,933
She's a monster that I've made
and I have to feed,

471
00:22:32,602 --> 00:22:35,480
and she feeds on praise

472
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:38,024
and controversy.

473
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:44,113
And it's exhausting and boring at once.

474
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:48,785
And...

475
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,372
I'm too smart to be exhausted and bored.

476
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:55,541
And now I have a book of essays due,

477
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,293
and not to be, like, boo-hoo about it,

478
00:22:57,418 --> 00:23:00,046
but it's like, what the fuck
am I gonna write an essay on?

479
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:04,926
All I do is google myself, and smoke weed,

480
00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,720
and, um, masturbate
with an electric toothbrush.

481
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,555
You could afford a vibrator.

482
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,224
I know. I really don't want one,

483
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,309
and that makes me feel mentally ill.

484
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:18,439
Today's, like, the most fun I've had in,

485
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:21,984
like, 17 months.

486
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:25,321
I just thought you woke up in the morning

487
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:28,658
in, like, a ray of sunshine
and, like, birds dressed you...

488
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,911
And you just, like, came in your pants
from all the accolades,

489
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:35,331
and then people handed you awards
on your way to, like, a fancy dinner.

490
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,500
Yeah. Yeah.

491
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,335
Uh.

492
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:42,755
I guess that's how you're supposed to feel,

493
00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:45,842
like, by my calculations, but...

494
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:51,848
Look at you.

495
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,267
You've had all these, like,

496
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:58,187
boyfriends and jobs and moments.

497
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:02,692
And you've lived all this truth.

498
00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:06,195
Well, it didn't feel like very much
while it was happening.

499
00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,531
But it is much.

500
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,992
And you have so much to say.

501
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,370
And look at your little freckles.

502
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:18,708
Look at your little freckles
all over your little face.

503
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,168
And you have little tiny teeth.

504
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:23,045
They're so... Little side teeth.

505
00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:25,631
These teeth? I don't even know if they're real.

506
00:24:25,715 --> 00:24:27,717
- I love them.
- Oh, thank you.

507
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,719
Yeah, I love them so much.

508
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:31,971
It's so nice.

509
00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,561
Should we have sex?

510
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:41,397
Should we?

511
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,194
Like, probably not.

512
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:48,070
- No!
- No. Okay!

513
00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:35,868
- Hey.
- Hi.

514
00:25:36,911 --> 00:25:39,205
You're, uh, at my door.

515
00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:41,457
Yep.

516
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:44,752
Yep, this is where I am.

517
00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:48,130
Cool.

518
00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:54,428
I am having a very strong feeling about you,

519
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:58,307
and it's been making me really uncomfortable.

520
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:00,601
Okay.

521
00:26:02,270 --> 00:26:04,981
I am supposed to be alone right now.

522
00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,108
You know, I'm spending time with myself.

523
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,276
Okay.

524
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:12,154
Like, I'm not supposed to be doing this,
but, um...

525
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,328
I wanna brush your hair.

526
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:21,831
Come again?

527
00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,143
I had a love dream about you.

528
00:26:42,685 --> 00:26:43,811
What the fuck is a love dream?

529
00:26:43,853 --> 00:26:45,146
I love you.

530
00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:48,149
It can't be you.

531
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,193
It just... It can't. It can't be you.

532
00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:59,201
- I think it might be me, Marn.
- Yeah.

533
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:00,494
- I really do.
- Yeah.

534
00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:03,164
I just think the next person I sleep with,

535
00:27:03,205 --> 00:27:05,708
like, I want his ex-wife to be Spanish.

536
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:08,044
Fuck, Willem Dafoe is your answer.

537
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:10,546
Oh, my God. I would seriously...

538
00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:12,840
- Hi.
- Hello.

539
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:14,842
- Hey.
- Yeah.

540
00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:18,304
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

541
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:19,805
I'm so sorry, Hannah.

542
00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:24,018
What?

543
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:27,229
- No, no, no.
- I don't know. I don't know.

544
00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:30,358
Oh, please.

545
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:31,984
I'm in shock.

546
00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:34,028
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

547
00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,162
I don't know.

548
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,262
Oh, my God.