1 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:27,485 What the fuck? 2 00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:29,820 Marnie, what the fuck? When did you get here? 3 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,782 Like 1:00 a.m. You were just asleep for, like, 13 hours. 4 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,450 How did you get in? 5 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:37,203 You think your country windows are secure downstairs? Think again. 6 00:00:37,411 --> 00:00:38,746 What are you doing here? 7 00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:42,041 - I would like to help you raise your baby. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 8 00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:46,879 You're about to go through an incredibly intense, emotional, 9 00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:50,216 tough but miraculous transition, 10 00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:53,177 and I would like to be here to help and support you. 11 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:56,347 Well, this is just like Adam's pitch, and that didn't work out so great, so... 12 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:58,474 No, no, no, but see it's not, because I can admit 13 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:01,352 that I don't have, like, a lot of other things going on. 14 00:01:01,435 --> 00:01:03,396 I'm currently living in my mom's home gym, 15 00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:06,899 and my band broke up, but the thing is I still have a lot to give. 16 00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:10,945 A lot. So, why not give it to you and this little angel? 17 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,656 I don't know, Marnie. This is just... 18 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,283 You think you have a lot of friends, right? 19 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,160 - Yeah. - Who's here? 20 00:01:18,327 --> 00:01:20,580 - Depends on the day. - Elijah's not here. 21 00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,332 Jessa sure as hell isn't here. 22 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:27,169 Adam isn't here. Shoshanna literally despises all of us. 23 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,005 Who's here? 24 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:30,840 I'm here. 25 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,134 I win. 26 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:37,013 I'm your best friend. I'm the best at being your friend. 27 00:01:37,054 --> 00:01:39,307 I love you the most. 28 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,518 Okay. 29 00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:43,894 Yeah? 30 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,523 Yeah, okay. 31 00:01:48,941 --> 00:01:50,026 Fuck, yeah! 32 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,538 Are you sure this isn't too cold for him? 33 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,206 It's okay, Grovie. It's okay. 34 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,708 No, he's just fine. 35 00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:08,127 Okay, and you disinfect the scale between babies, right? 36 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:11,255 Okay, 13 pounds. That's a nice size. He's a nice size. 37 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,049 You're a nice size. 38 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,760 Okay, but he was closer to 10 when he was born, 39 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,136 so I'm just a little confused. 40 00:02:17,219 --> 00:02:20,139 Babies will often lose 10% of their birth weight in the first few weeks. 41 00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:22,892 It's nothing to be concerned about, as long as he's feeding normally. 42 00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:25,645 Oh, no, he's eating. He's eating all the time. 43 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,980 - Breast milk or formula? - It's okay. 44 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:30,149 Is there a chance we could talk to Dr. Monoghan? 45 00:02:30,232 --> 00:02:31,525 She's on vacation right now 46 00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:34,236 looking at a waterfall with her family, and I'm not calling her. 47 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,947 It's just like she knows our whole story and she's met Grover and... 48 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,075 Would you want to be disturbed on your family vacation? 49 00:02:39,116 --> 00:02:42,745 Well, it just depends on priorities, like, I write through my whole vacation. 50 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,246 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 51 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,208 He breastfed for six weeks, then he just, like, stopped. 52 00:02:47,249 --> 00:02:48,793 Well, are you pumping? 53 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:51,337 Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm pumping so much, I'm like a soft-serve machine. 54 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,172 He just, he will only take it from the bottle. 55 00:02:53,255 --> 00:02:54,382 Well, so long as he's getting it. 56 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,760 But is there like an issue with bonding? Like, isn't it important? Shh. 57 00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,971 All right, listen. Breastfeeding is mysterious. 58 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,598 Sometimes it's a piece of cake, 59 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,976 and sometimes there's something, the chemistry, the fit, it's just off. 60 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,609 Um, well, I guess that's it. 61 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,153 Um, if you have any lollipops... 62 00:03:21,575 --> 00:03:23,119 - Hey. - Hi. 63 00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:25,830 - How did it go? - He was fine. It was good. 64 00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:27,456 I mean, they say he's basically the perfect weight, so... 65 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,792 You are? That's so great. 66 00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,545 That's like the greatest compliment a person can get. 67 00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:35,965 Hi, baby. What'd he say about breastfeeding? 68 00:03:36,173 --> 00:03:38,300 I mean, I don't trust that, like, temp doctor. 69 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:41,554 Yeah. Everyone here looks pretty fuckin' formula-fed to me. 70 00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:43,472 Aunt Marnie's here. 71 00:03:44,181 --> 00:03:45,766 Aunt Marnie's here. 72 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,187 He just made it sound like some babies never get the hang of it. 73 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,856 But you told him you've been pumping, right? 74 00:03:51,939 --> 00:03:55,151 Yes, I told him I've been pumping, and I said I don't know how much longer I can do it. 75 00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:58,529 I was like my nipples hurt. They feel like iguana skin. 76 00:03:58,612 --> 00:04:02,241 But what am I gonna do when I start my job next month, like, tote a breast pump around? 77 00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:03,993 What if there's a student I wanna fuck? 78 00:04:04,076 --> 00:04:05,578 Promise me you're not gonna give up, okay? 79 00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:07,705 There's a reason they call breast milk liquid gold. 80 00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:08,914 Well, if you really felt like that, 81 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,499 I think you would agree to taste mine, so... 82 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,585 Hannah, you have to stop asking me to do that. 83 00:04:12,668 --> 00:04:15,129 It's nice. It's like hemp milk or something. 84 00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:18,758 Babies that are breastfed are less likely to get sick when they're little, 85 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,844 and also, they show higher cognitive function at an earlier age, 86 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:25,222 and I just saw a study that says that they snag higher paying jobs. 87 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,849 What about that doesn't sound great? 88 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:30,644 Well, I was never breastfed and I'm a dream and a ray of sunshine, so... 89 00:04:30,686 --> 00:04:33,773 That's exactly my point. I was breastfed for two years. 90 00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:36,358 Great, it seems like it worked out super great for you. 91 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,526 It did. 92 00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:49,205 You've got a fast car 93 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,749 I want a ticket to anywhere 94 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,793 Maybe we make a deal 95 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,587 Maybe together we can get somewhere 96 00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,172 Anyplace is better 97 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,548 Marnie? Can you stop? 98 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,217 Starting from zero got nothing to lose 99 00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:03,135 Maybe we'll make something 100 00:05:03,552 --> 00:05:06,013 Me, myself I got nothing to prove 101 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:09,183 I'd love it if you'd stop singing and so would Grover. He doesn't like it. 102 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,228 I feel like you're both kidding, so I'm gonna keep going. 103 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:18,734 You've got a fast car I've got a plan to get us out of here 104 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:19,902 Marnie? 105 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,403 I've been working at a convenience store 106 00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:24,281 I'm asking you to stop and I'm asking in a nice way. 107 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:27,034 Won't have to drive too far Just cross the border 108 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:30,037 Turn it off, okay? Turn it off! 109 00:05:36,001 --> 00:05:37,253 Sorry. 110 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,268 Hey, little man. 111 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,903 Listen, I'm really sorry about before. 112 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:05,823 - I really don't want to talk about it. - Yeah, but we should talk about it. 113 00:06:05,906 --> 00:06:09,660 You yelled at me for loving music. There's honestly nothing to talk about. 114 00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:14,623 I love that you love music. 115 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,044 Come on, Grover. 116 00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:20,754 Come on. 117 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:22,756 It's good. 118 00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:25,968 There's a businessman who'd pay a lot of money to do this. 119 00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,511 No, look, it's right here. 120 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,805 You don't have to cry 'cause it's right here. 121 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,392 No. You think you're the first man who rejected this? 122 00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:36,186 Well, think again. You're not being very original. 123 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,856 You know what? You're being kind of a fuck-head. 124 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,400 You're being kind of a little bit of an asshole. 125 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,612 I don't know what to say to you. 126 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,409 Bless you. 127 00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,420 And that is a swaddle. 128 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,131 Yeah. Yeah. Really good. 129 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:07,051 - Baby. Yeah. - Um, no. 130 00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,970 Actually here, you can do it like this. 131 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,392 Here. Come on. 132 00:07:15,851 --> 00:07:17,603 My favorite boy. 133 00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:19,229 Hello. 134 00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:22,107 Hi. 135 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,443 Oh, my little baby burrito. 136 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,446 Oh. 137 00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:29,907 That's another way to do it. 138 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:31,867 Yeah. 139 00:07:36,872 --> 00:07:40,125 Are you making an envelope with your nipple, Hannah? 140 00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:42,044 Are you making an envelope with your nipple? 141 00:07:42,127 --> 00:07:44,171 Do you even have a nipple, 'cause I've known you a long time 142 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,798 and I actually don't think I've seen it. 143 00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:47,967 How the fuck do you make an envelope with your nipple anyway? 144 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,761 It's pronounced "envelope." Just, like, don't be so pretentious. 145 00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:54,890 So, apparently you just fold it down from the base of the areola, 146 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,560 and then rather than pushing his face onto the breast, 147 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,481 just squeeze a little bit of milk out onto the tip of the nipple, 148 00:08:02,564 --> 00:08:06,110 brush his lips across the nipple so that he decides to take it. 149 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:10,656 Okay, I need this to stop because A, it's fucking revolting, 150 00:08:10,739 --> 00:08:12,658 and B, every time you say "nipple," a fairy dies. 151 00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:15,285 Hannah, do not get stressed, especially when you're holding Grover. 152 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,453 He can sense it. 153 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:21,333 Cortisol and a million other super powerful hormones just flow through your body. 154 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:25,754 Somehow, you've just gotta stay centered, clear your head, stay present. 155 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,464 This is a sacred time. 156 00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,759 So, now it's my fault? Like, my stress is repelling him? 157 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,219 Listen, he's hungry. 158 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,638 Let's just give him a bottle and then he'll, like, torture animals 159 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,141 and keep a room like in the movie Room. I don't care. 160 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:42,271 I think your sense of humor could be a very powerful tool during this journey. 161 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,691 Don't worry, Hannah. 162 00:08:45,774 --> 00:08:47,651 He's gonna latch. 163 00:08:48,318 --> 00:08:51,447 He did it for a whole month. He just forgot what was good for him. 164 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,867 - Didn't you, Grovito? - You know what? 165 00:08:54,950 --> 00:08:58,704 Your, like, desire to be part of this is actually starting to feel really perverse. 166 00:08:58,787 --> 00:09:01,957 I feel, like, very objectified and I just would like some privacy. 167 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:06,128 Oh, it says if you need assistance, you might ask someone to help press 168 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,589 by placing her fingers or thumbs on top of yours. 169 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:10,466 - Do you want me to come help? - Nope. 170 00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,469 Nope. Nope, I don't. 171 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:23,604 Hello, information? I need to talk to Mr. Boat. 172 00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:29,651 John Stamos has not aged a single day. It's insane. 173 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,695 And, like, why is this man a bachelor? 174 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,947 Hello? 175 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,492 How rude. 176 00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:40,954 The question is, like, could the Olsen twins 177 00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,748 have become fashion moguls without Full House, 178 00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,666 or, like, is it what catapulted them? 179 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,672 So, I've been thinking, and I might want to go out tomorrow night. 180 00:09:51,298 --> 00:09:53,634 There's a wine bar in Tivoli, I looked it up, 181 00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:57,262 and there's gonna be, like, a live jazz trio playing. 182 00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,015 - A live jazz trio? - Yeah, live. 183 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,559 Marnie, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. 184 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:05,938 The only thing grosser than a jazz trio would be like a jazz quadrangle. 185 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:08,732 This is empty, by the way. 186 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:17,950 But there's gonna be, like, flight of local cheeses and, 187 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:22,371 and then there's gonna be this, like, awesome Sonoma wine pairing. 188 00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:25,249 I can learn about wine and... 189 00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:30,129 Yeah, but there'd be, like, no way I could come with you. 190 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,173 No, yeah, just I would go. 191 00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:38,470 So, I would just, like, stay here with Grover all night by myself? 192 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,850 Never mind. I'll just go another time. 193 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,894 Well, is it like a weekly thing? Like, if it happens, like, next week... 194 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,271 I don't know, Hannah. 195 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:52,526 If you really want cheese, we can buy cheese and, like, put on jazz. 196 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,154 I just, we don't have to go to a place. 197 00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:13,297 He hates me. I don't know what to say. 198 00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:14,756 I don't know what I did to him, 199 00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:19,219 'cause I grew him in my body for nine months, but he hates me. 200 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:22,306 The guy at the ShopRite is more interested in my boobs than he is, 201 00:11:22,389 --> 00:11:24,391 so why don't you just swaddle him, give him a bottle. 202 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:27,144 There's nothing I can even do for him anymore. I don't know what to say. 203 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,770 He hates me. I can't do anything. 204 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,940 Okay. Okay. Okay. Come here. Come here. 205 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,358 I'm sorry. 206 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,289 Hey. 207 00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:49,666 It's almost 11:00 a.m. 208 00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:58,217 Are you awake now, Hannah? 209 00:11:59,426 --> 00:12:01,136 Oh, good morning. 210 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:06,141 Grover's been awake for almost three hours. 211 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,479 Oh. 212 00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,606 Sweetie, you're leaking. 213 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,984 Little man, little man. 214 00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,362 - You called my mom? - Yeah, I did. 215 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,822 You called my mother and you told her to come here? 216 00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:23,158 Yeah, Hannah. You're having a really hard time 217 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,744 and I just thought it would be helpful for you to have her. 218 00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:28,247 Well, it's not helpful. Remember last time all she did was 219 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,416 complain about how unfair the judging process on The Voice is? 220 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,002 She's not helpful. She makes things harder for me. 221 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,838 Okay, well, then I didn't call her here for you. 222 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,633 I called her here for me. I wanted some help. 223 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,177 This is above my pay grade. I'm doing my best. 224 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,555 I'm reading all the books, but honestly, it's too much. 225 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,683 And you're not even acting that mature. 226 00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:49,393 You begged to come here. 227 00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:52,020 You wanted to be here with me and help me, 228 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,398 and now it's not matching up to what you imagined, 229 00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:56,984 which was, like, that it would be a Laura Ashley catalog 230 00:12:57,025 --> 00:13:00,445 or like a fun, zany sitcom starring Brittany Snow 231 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,865 and the rest of the cast of Pitch Perfect just carrying a cute little baby. 232 00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:06,034 Okay? I'm sorry we didn't make any jam. 233 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,621 I'm sorry you didn't meet, like, a hot woodworker, but this is reality. 234 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:13,125 It's happening now, and you suck at it, okay? 235 00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,210 You're doing a bad job, 236 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:19,256 and the reason you are is 'cause you're the immature one, so check that out! 237 00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:21,258 All right, Ghostbuster. 238 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:25,846 What? 239 00:13:29,641 --> 00:13:32,060 I don't know when my vagina and my butthole are gonna start to feel like 240 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,314 two separate entities again, but I'm really looking forward to that. 241 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,233 Honey, this'll all be over soon. It'll be like a blip. 242 00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:41,570 Things'll get so much harder, you won't even remember this part. 243 00:13:41,611 --> 00:13:42,988 God, I hope you're right. 244 00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:45,824 Listen Hannah, when I had you, I couldn't breastfeed. 245 00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:49,244 No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get you to latch on, 246 00:13:49,369 --> 00:13:54,082 and my nipples both inverted, and it hurt like fire in my tits. 247 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,375 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 248 00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:58,003 Obviously, your father was no help at all. 249 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,381 He's scared enough of breasts as is. 250 00:14:02,674 --> 00:14:07,804 And all these women in my campus mothering circle were so judgmental, 251 00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:09,598 and it was the 80s, you know? 252 00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:14,227 All these cunts in linen pants who were so pleased not to be using formula. 253 00:14:14,269 --> 00:14:16,271 You know, I was raised on formula. 254 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,273 Nice, post-war formula. 255 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,109 What's the fucking problem? You turned out fine. 256 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:23,070 Yeah, but don't you get it? I don't want him to turn out fine. 257 00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:25,447 I want him to turn out better than fine. He's so beautiful. 258 00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:28,241 - He's so much more beautiful than me. - He really is. 259 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,745 But honey, he'll be fine whether you use formula or milk or, you know... 260 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,413 Mom, don't you get it? 261 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,666 I'm mentally ill, I'm overweight, 262 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,836 I isolate people, I'm a quitter. 263 00:14:40,253 --> 00:14:42,631 So, what if that's the kind of man that I raise? 264 00:14:42,672 --> 00:14:44,758 What if that's the only kind of man I can raise? 265 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,302 That's not gonna happen. 266 00:14:47,969 --> 00:14:52,265 And I'm still fucking bleeding from my vagina. 267 00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:55,143 No one understands. 268 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,813 You think no one understands you? 269 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:01,650 Yeah, I do, because I made a very intense choice 270 00:15:01,983 --> 00:15:04,778 to take this on all by myself, okay? 271 00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:08,115 I decided to be brave and just go it alone. 272 00:15:08,156 --> 00:15:10,784 Mom, I buckle my bra every day, okay? 273 00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:14,079 But just do it for a second. 274 00:15:14,871 --> 00:15:16,665 You know, and now it's like I can't even do 275 00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:20,001 the most natural human process on Earth of feeding my child? 276 00:15:20,627 --> 00:15:22,963 And Marnie acted like she was here to help me, 277 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:24,423 and now all she does... That's fine. 278 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:28,176 And now all she does is judge me and bully me, you know, 279 00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,638 but she wouldn't if she knew what it was like to be rejected by your own child 280 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,349 like you've been rejected by every other fucking man in your life, 281 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,060 'cause let's face it, Grover fucking hates me. 282 00:15:37,185 --> 00:15:40,272 You really upset Marnie, you know? She called me weeping. 283 00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:42,524 I got on a plane at 5:00 a.m. 284 00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,359 - I upset Marnie? - Yeah. 285 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,696 Well, maybe she should have thought a little more before she came out here to help, 286 00:15:47,737 --> 00:15:50,866 considering that things might get pretty fucking intense, 'cause you know what, Mom? 287 00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,452 I tend to get pretty fuckin' intense. 288 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,203 Yeah, well maybe she thought 289 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:58,039 - you'd act like a fucking grown up. - What? 290 00:15:58,081 --> 00:16:00,041 You want to act like this whole thing was an accident, 291 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:04,045 like it happened to you, that's fine, Hannah, but that's not honest. 292 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,756 You made a choice to have this child, and guess what? 293 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,385 It's the first one you can't take back. You can't get your tuition refunded. 294 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,847 You can't break the lease. You can't delete his phone number. 295 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:17,058 Your son is not a temp job. He's not Adam. 296 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,686 This is it, honey, and this is forever. 297 00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,313 Stop following me! 298 00:16:21,396 --> 00:16:23,732 And why are you judging me and putting words in my mouth? 299 00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:24,900 Why are you judging me? 300 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:27,068 Because you just said your baby hates you, 301 00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:29,779 and that is the most moronic thing I have ever heard. 302 00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:32,115 He doesn't hate you. He doesn't hate anybody. 303 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:35,452 He's a goddamn baby, and you are all he has. 304 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:39,456 I don't understand why you're yelling at me when I'm in emotional pain. 305 00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:41,583 Yeah, well, you know who else is in emotional pain? 306 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,710 - Who? - Fucking everyone! 307 00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,837 For their whole lives! 308 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:49,382 Nobody said this was gonna be easy. Nobody guaranteed this would be fun. 309 00:16:49,424 --> 00:16:53,929 You didn't sign a contract in the womb saying you were headed for Six Flags. 310 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,597 What are you making? 311 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:59,142 Bisquick, obviously, 'cause you have to add like 2,000 calories a day to your diet 312 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,144 if you're breastfeeding to do it successfully. 313 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,604 Hannah... 314 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,567 I don't understand, Mom. You didn't say it was gonna be this hard. 315 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,237 Have I made this look easy to you? No. 316 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:13,114 Have the last few years looked easy to you? 317 00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:16,243 Maybe they would have if you'd chosen a husband 318 00:17:16,284 --> 00:17:19,079 who wasn't gay and who actually loved you, 319 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,831 and then I would know what, like, a normal functional family looked like 320 00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:25,544 and I wouldn't be up here with Marnie acting like that was normal. You know? 321 00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:29,923 And this house would be a home and not just a fucking bunch of rooms. 322 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,466 So, thank you. 323 00:17:32,008 --> 00:17:35,011 No, thank you, Hannah. Thank you so much for that. 324 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:37,889 - Thanks, baby girl. - Ow! 325 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,145 Oh, man. 326 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,491 Hey, are you okay? 327 00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,286 I'm not a hooker! 328 00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:01,663 No one said you were. 329 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,958 Sorry for trying to help! 330 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,044 God-fucking-damn it. Men are disgusting. 331 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,172 - Am I English? - No. Just me. 332 00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:12,674 - No. - You're a pilot. 333 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,759 All right. I'm a pilot. Yeah. 334 00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:19,848 We're just approaching cruising altitude. 335 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,182 Yeah. 336 00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:24,811 Is everything okay back there, Shelly? 337 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:29,691 Yes, of... Except there's been a slight disturbance in the cabin. 338 00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:35,864 Yes, I noticed that someone was ringing the assistance button. 339 00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:38,825 Yes, 11 C has a problem with his, 340 00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:41,036 his dick. 341 00:18:41,202 --> 00:18:42,203 Oh. 342 00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:44,539 Should I go help him with his dick? 343 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,458 - He's in 11 C. - Yes. 344 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:51,046 I think you should probably go back there and make sure he's all right. 345 00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,799 Yes. Do you think I should use the oxygen mask on his dick? 346 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,552 Yeah, I think, I think you should, 347 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:02,432 and I think you should put it on him first before helping others around him out. 348 00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:05,935 - Marnie, I think we're out of breast milk. - Yes, I've already told him that... 349 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,729 Shelly? 350 00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:08,980 Excuse me. 351 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,901 Shelly? This is your captain speaking. 352 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,819 I'll be right there. 353 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:15,945 Okay. 354 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,662 Damn it. 355 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,333 Oh, I used the last bag of breast milk earlier, 356 00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,585 so, we'll just have to wait till Hannah gets back. 357 00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,087 Ugh. 358 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,673 I have no idea when she'll be back. 359 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,591 Yeah. 360 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,886 Motherhood seems to have had such an effect on her. 361 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:43,139 Yeah. I don't even know why we have that here. 362 00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:46,810 Sorry, I walked in on you beating off. 363 00:19:47,143 --> 00:19:48,853 No, you didn't. 364 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,441 Masturbating. Did I not catch you touching yourself? 365 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,736 No, you did not catch me touching myself. 366 00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,949 Okay, Marnie. Sure, but, you know, I live alone. 367 00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:03,159 - I ain't judging. - No, no, no, no, no. 368 00:20:03,284 --> 00:20:07,622 It's just, it's not masturbating if you are video chatting with someone. 369 00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:10,500 Who is he? 370 00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,628 His name is Delvin. 371 00:20:14,462 --> 00:20:15,714 Delvin P. 372 00:20:16,464 --> 00:20:18,967 He's from Weehawken and he's a very nice personal trainer. 373 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:23,805 Hey. 374 00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:26,266 Are you happy here? 375 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,226 With Hannah and Grover? 376 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,188 I mean, yeah, sure. 377 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,900 I don't need to be happy. 378 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:37,235 Why? 379 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,780 It's just not my time. This is important. Hannah's my best friend. 380 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:46,453 Has it ever occurred to you that the best thing for you 381 00:20:46,494 --> 00:20:48,913 and your friendship would be if you were happy, too? 382 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:52,083 But Hannah and Grover can't do this by themselves. They need me. 383 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:56,546 Listen, I spent 30 years supporting my best friend. 384 00:20:56,796 --> 00:20:59,215 You know, we even had a child together, 385 00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:04,387 but mostly we just got angrier and angrier until all that was left was hate. 386 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:09,517 I hate my best friend now, and all because I didn't know how to let him go. 387 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,904 You know, these ingredients aren't even that bad. 388 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,877 You're a fucking monster! 389 00:21:46,554 --> 00:21:47,722 Hey! 390 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:49,974 Are you okay? 391 00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:52,435 Like, clearly no! 392 00:21:52,852 --> 00:21:57,273 Okay, you can talk to me. It's okay. I'm safe. I'm a safe person. 393 00:21:57,565 --> 00:22:00,193 - Do you have a phone, ma'am? - Ma'am? 394 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:03,071 No, I'm sorry. I don't have a cellphone on me right now. 395 00:22:03,112 --> 00:22:06,074 Well, then what makes you a safe person? 396 00:22:06,115 --> 00:22:09,786 I don't know. Look at me. I just am. What, what happened? 397 00:22:10,578 --> 00:22:12,831 I ran away as fast as I could. 398 00:22:13,289 --> 00:22:15,124 It was an emergency incident. 399 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:20,004 Okay, you cannot be out here without any shoes or pants. You just can't. 400 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:24,133 Well, I don't have any shoes or pants, so that's what's up. 401 00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:27,011 Here, take these. Take these. Take these. Come on. 402 00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:28,596 Come on. 403 00:22:30,306 --> 00:22:32,308 Look, put 'em on. 404 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,646 Some jeans. 405 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,107 Here you go. 406 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,025 Thank you. 407 00:22:46,322 --> 00:22:47,615 These are kinda big. 408 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:49,742 Well, yeah, they're big on me, too, obviously. 409 00:22:49,784 --> 00:22:52,495 Just what happened? Can you tell me what happened? 410 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:56,791 I just need a phone so I can call my boyfriend Justin. 411 00:22:58,167 --> 00:23:01,296 Would you like to come to my house and use the phone and call Justin? 412 00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:05,049 Yeah. That would be good. 413 00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:06,801 Thanks. 414 00:23:07,051 --> 00:23:10,805 'Cause like Justin really, really worries when he can't locate me. 415 00:23:11,055 --> 00:23:12,515 Yeah, I'm sure. 416 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:14,601 Come on. 417 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,147 Does your mom know where you are? 418 00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,650 I'm sorry, this must be really hard. 419 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,904 Can you tell me about the incident? Do you feel unsafe? 420 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,072 Yeah. 421 00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:32,452 My mom said I had to finish my history homework before I went to Justin's, 422 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,329 and I was like, "It's not due 'til Friday," 423 00:23:34,370 --> 00:23:36,915 and she was like, "Well, you're gonna finish it up right away," 424 00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:39,792 and I was like, "No," and I ran out. 425 00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:41,669 And then what happened? 426 00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:43,713 And then I was like, "If it's due on Friday, 427 00:23:43,796 --> 00:23:46,633 "I'm not finishing it on Wednesday, and that's final!" 428 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:55,642 So, you ran away because your mom asked you to do your homework? 429 00:23:56,684 --> 00:23:57,936 Yeah. 430 00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:00,563 And Justin's gonna be at an away game tomorrow, 431 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:03,358 so I won't even get to see him. 432 00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:07,570 - Okay, give me back my jeans. - What? 433 00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:11,032 - I said give me back my jeans. - What the hell? 434 00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,242 No, you said you were gonna help me. 435 00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:14,619 Yeah, that's when I thought you were being, 436 00:24:14,702 --> 00:24:16,746 like, fiddled with by your stepdad or something. 437 00:24:16,829 --> 00:24:17,872 What? 438 00:24:17,914 --> 00:24:20,541 Do you think your mom wants to tell you to do your homework? 439 00:24:21,125 --> 00:24:25,046 No. But that's her entire job. That's her job in the world. 440 00:24:25,129 --> 00:24:27,632 She has a million, trillion things she'd rather be doing, 441 00:24:27,715 --> 00:24:29,425 things she might want to experience, 442 00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:31,427 life things she hasn't enjoyed yet, 443 00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:33,471 but she stays and tells you to do your homework 444 00:24:33,554 --> 00:24:35,974 'cause it's what's fucking good for you. 445 00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:38,393 What do you think your mom's gonna do when you get home? 446 00:24:38,434 --> 00:24:39,894 I don't know. 447 00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:41,062 Hug me, I guess? 448 00:24:41,145 --> 00:24:44,899 Exactly, 'cause she loves you more than anything else in the world, 449 00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:46,651 and she knows you're the most important thing, 450 00:24:46,734 --> 00:24:50,321 even if it means being emotionally abused by a brat day in and day out. 451 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:55,910 Okay? She'll take care of you forever even if it means endless, endless pain! 452 00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:58,830 So, give me back my jeans! 453 00:24:58,913 --> 00:25:00,623 No. You psycho lady! 454 00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:05,128 Oh, you run, you little harlot! Run as fast as you can, okay? 455 00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:06,963 But life is gonna chase you. 456 00:25:07,046 --> 00:25:09,924 It's gonna chase after you with problems you can't even imagine, 457 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:14,846 and I'd be chasing you too if my vagina wasn't so busted from having a baby. 458 00:25:14,929 --> 00:25:17,598 So, go and just fuck the shit out of Justin! 459 00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:19,267 Fuck him for me! 460 00:25:19,767 --> 00:25:21,894 That's not how I meant that! 461 00:25:39,203 --> 00:25:41,622 - You okay, ma'am? - Yeah, absolutely. 462 00:25:42,457 --> 00:25:44,083 You live near here? 463 00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:46,335 Yeah, just like, a little while that way. 464 00:25:46,919 --> 00:25:49,964 So, uh, what brings you out here without pants and shoes? 465 00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:52,800 Oh, I had a baby pretty recently, so... 466 00:25:53,634 --> 00:25:56,262 Mmm. Sounds about right. 467 00:25:56,679 --> 00:25:59,932 Well, why don't you get in the back of the car and I'll give you a ride home. 468 00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,976 I'm really good. But thank you. 469 00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,237 Just making sure you're getting home okay. 470 00:26:18,826 --> 00:26:20,578 Just take your time. 471 00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:46,562 I guess it's time for me to start figuring out what's next. 472 00:26:47,980 --> 00:26:49,315 Any ideas? 473 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:53,444 A piece of me has always wanted to go to law school. 474 00:26:53,569 --> 00:26:55,863 So boring. 475 00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:58,825 No, I mean it's a start. It's a start. 476 00:27:00,034 --> 00:27:02,870 It's mostly because I just love the idea of all the rules. 477 00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:04,372 I fucking love rules. 478 00:27:05,706 --> 00:27:07,083 Maybe you should be a judge. 479 00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:08,543 Hmm. 480 00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:12,130 I have this friend that's a judge. She is such a gas. 481 00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:15,133 Judge Patricia DeMango. 482 00:27:16,425 --> 00:27:19,345 She goes on five Christian Mingle dates a week. 483 00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:20,471 - No way. - Yeah. 484 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:25,017 Spray tan, big diamond in her upper ear cartilage, 485 00:27:25,393 --> 00:27:27,770 but she is a really good judge. 486 00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:29,856 Mmm. 487 00:27:31,065 --> 00:27:32,233 You get home safe now. 488 00:27:32,275 --> 00:27:34,402 Thank you, Officer Schpoont. 489 00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:40,658 - Hi. - Hi. 490 00:27:41,701 --> 00:27:43,578 What happened to your pants? 491 00:27:44,036 --> 00:27:45,913 You know, kinda what you'd think. 492 00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:54,046 Thanks. 493 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,549 Where's Grover? 494 00:27:57,925 --> 00:28:00,344 He's upstairs asleep in your room. 495 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:06,142 We gave him formula, and he liked it. 496 00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:11,063 Good, thanks. 497 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,405 No, no, guys, I got it. I got it. 498 00:28:53,147 --> 00:28:55,191 Shh. 499 00:29:32,853 --> 00:29:34,063 Good. 500 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:37,692 That's good, Grover. 501 00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:52,748 You got a fast car 502 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,670 I got a ticket to get us out of here 503 00:30:01,340 --> 00:30:02,550 Okay. 504 00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:10,725 I love you. I love you. 505 00:30:16,564 --> 00:30:19,734 Got a bit of money, don't have to go too far 506 00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:27,199 Okay. 507 00:30:34,248 --> 00:30:35,583 It's okay. 508 00:30:45,092 --> 00:30:50,097 Finally felt like I could be someone, be someone