1
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:03,500
(male commentator on TV)
'And this looks like
it's gonna be'
2
00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:05,133
'about a 38-yard field goal.'
3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,400
'And Dallas better be..'
4
00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:09,733
What are you doing?
I was watching the game.
5
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,367
"Off Duty Cop" marathon.
6
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:14,133
I knew it.
You're a cop!
7
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:18,133
I'm an off-duty cop.
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,867
[jazz music]
9
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:22,900
Oh, brother.
10
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:27,433
Aah! Hot coffee!
11
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,967
You know what's great
with hot coffee?
12
00:00:30,033 --> 00:00:31,600
Coffee cake?
13
00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:34,300
No.
14
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,900
Coffee kick.
15
00:00:38,733 --> 00:00:40,600
Turn it back.
16
00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:42,600
Unless you want a coffee kick.
17
00:00:44,733 --> 00:00:46,033
You asked for it.
18
00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:47,933
'Hah!'
19
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,667
[glass shatters]
20
00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:52,600
I gotta get a stunt man.
21
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:57,100
[theme music]
22
00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:17,700
(male commentator on TV)
'The field goal is up,
and it's good!'
23
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:20,200
Yes! We're going
to the playoffs!
24
00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:22,833
[machine drilling]
25
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:24,967
[jackhammer whirring]
26
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:27,300
[saw buzzing]
27
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:30,300
[hammer pounding]
28
00:01:31,733 --> 00:01:35,233
[pounding continues]
29
00:01:36,933 --> 00:01:38,133
What is this?
30
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:39,500
Goal post.
31
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,167
Well, I get to kick
a field goal at half-time
32
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:44,067
at this weekend's playoff game.
33
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:47,067
If I make it,
I get a million dollars.
34
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:50,267
Forget the million dollars,
you get to go to the game?
35
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,600
I don't care about football!
36
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:55,633
All's I cares about
is making that field goal.
37
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,933
Now step aside
38
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,367
'cause I got to get
to practicin'.
39
00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:07,400
Uh, you do realize that if you
actually make a field goal
40
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:09,467
it'll go right through
my window.
41
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,900
Well, then you better get
the window repairman on the line
42
00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:19,300
'cause I'm about to
bust some glass.
43
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:26,233
You want me to go ahead
and get that window
repairman
44
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,533
on the line?
45
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:32,267
[instrumental music]
46
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,900
I have some exciting news.
47
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:36,067
- You finally got a girlfriend.
- Ah, no, I...
48
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:38,133
Okay, hot plates,
hot plates coming in.
49
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,533
Fettuccine Alfredo
50
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,067
a personal pan pizza
51
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,867
and the meatball sub.
52
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,933
Hey, Speedy, Porky finally
got a girlfriend.
53
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,933
Ooh! Good for you, Pinky.
54
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,633
I thought you're gonna be one
of those always-lives-alone guys
55
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,267
'who just gets more
and more desperate'
56
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:55,300
'until he alienates
the few friends that he has'
57
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,600
'and then he's just alone.'
58
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,633
So what a relief for you.
59
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,467
Now when can we meet
this new girlfriend?
60
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:03,533
Ugh. I don't have
a girlfriend.
61
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,133
Well, stay in the game, Pinky.
62
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,467
But maybe you should think
about growing a beard.
63
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:10,733
You got so much... face.
64
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,833
That was your exciting news
65
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,633
that you don't have
a girlfriend?
66
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,267
No.
I got us playoff tickets.
67
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,533
What?
How did you get tickets?
68
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,467
They've been sold out for weeks!
69
00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:25,333
My uncle works
in the league office.
70
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,333
Porky, I can't believe
we're going to the playoffs!
71
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,633
I'm picking up the tickets
this afternoon.
72
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:34,867
You know, I've never said
this before, but thangu.
73
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,500
You mean, "thank you".
74
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:38,800
Is that how it's pronounced?
75
00:03:38,867 --> 00:03:42,133
Well, then, thank you.
76
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,133
There's no two people
I'd rather go with.
77
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,233
[chomping]
78
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:52,733
[dramatic music]
79
00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:58,367
[rapid heartbeat]
80
00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:06,800
My friendship with Porky
is over.
81
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,567
- What?
- He ate my French fries!
82
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,700
What French fries?
83
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:13,033
The ones that came
with my sandwich!
84
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,133
He probably thought
they were for the table.
85
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,667
They were not for the table.
86
00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:17,700
They were my fries.
87
00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:19,200
They came with my sandwich.
88
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,567
You want fries? Order fries.
89
00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:24,567
But you do not take
someone else's fries.
90
00:04:24,633 --> 00:04:26,900
That is a garbage move!
91
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,233
Porky is a piece of garbage.
92
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,567
Don't you think you're being
a little dramatic?
93
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:35,067
I am not being dramatic!
94
00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:38,900
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to walk myself home.
95
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:42,567
That's right, walk home through
this unsavory neighborhood
96
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:46,733
where I'll surely be sat upon
by ruffians and miscreants
97
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,233
street hustlers
and road monkeys.
98
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,533
None of whom, by the by
99
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,667
come close to being
the kind of garbage
100
00:04:55,733 --> 00:04:58,433
that is Porky Pig.
101
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,133
Now good day, sir.
102
00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:08,800
[siren wailing]
103
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,067
Bugs?
104
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:13,200
[instrumental music]
105
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:17,700
[horn honking]
106
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,067
Hey, I fixed your window.
107
00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:32,100
'That'll be a $170.'
108
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:35,200
Bill me.
I'm about to be a millionaire.
109
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,567
Hyah!
110
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,367
[tires screech]
111
00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:53,133
Uh-oh.
112
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,900
[upbeat music]
113
00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:00,633
[dog snarls]
114
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,133
[Sam screaming]
115
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,600
(Sam)
'Down, boy! Down!
Whoa! Nice doggy, ow!'
116
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,433
[screaming]
117
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,167
'Down, boy! Down!'
118
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,367
[door opens]
119
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,500
Don't you know
when someone's being dramatic?
120
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:23,333
[telephone rings]
121
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,000
- It's Porky.
- Hide your French fries.
122
00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:26,967
Hey, Pork.
123
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,500
I just picked up the tickets.
124
00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:31,033
'Our seats are even
better than I thought.'
125
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,133
Oh, that's great.
126
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,833
Daffy, Porky got the tickets.
127
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:39,000
Tell that piece of garbage that
he can keep his garbage tickets.
128
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:41,033
- What did he say?
- He didn't say anything.
129
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,333
- It was nothing.
- It was not nothing!
130
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,200
'I definitely said something.'
131
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:46,867
What's wrong with Daffy?
132
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:48,700
I guess you ate
some of his fries.
133
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:50,200
What?
134
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:52,767
Daffy's mad at you because
you ate some of his fries.
135
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:54,200
I thought they were
for the table.
136
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:55,933
He thought they were
for the table.
137
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,200
They were not for the table!
138
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:00,967
Relax, he just got us
playoff tickets.
139
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:03,867
- Let me talk to him.
- He wants to talk to you.
140
00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,200
I'm not talking to him.
141
00:07:05,267 --> 00:07:06,733
I'm not talking to you!
142
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:07,967
You ate my fries!
143
00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:10,200
I thought they were
for the table!
144
00:07:10,267 --> 00:07:12,200
Did you pay for those fries?
145
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:15,167
Because if you didn't,
then you don't get any fries!
146
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:17,700
Uh, I did pay for the fries.
147
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:19,067
I bought everybody lunch.
148
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:22,667
Oh! So you think that
if you pay for a meal
149
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,833
then you get to eat
everyone's food.
150
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:27,567
Well, remind me to never pay
for anyone's meal.
151
00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:30,033
You never pay for anyone's meal.
152
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,567
That's because I have class.
153
00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:35,867
But none of this matters
because I am not talking to you!
154
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,100
[telephone beeping]
155
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:41,067
How do you hang this up?
Tell him goodbye.
156
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,733
No, I'm not talking to him.
157
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,600
Tell him I didn't say goodbye.
158
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,733
Porky, don't listen to Daffy.
159
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,600
All that matters
is you got the tickets
160
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,100
and we're all going to the game.
161
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:53,200
'So what if you ate
a few of his fries?'
162
00:07:53,267 --> 00:07:56,233
His fries?
You're on Daffy's side?
163
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,600
No, I'm not on anybody's side.
164
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:01,767
You know what?
Forget about the tickets.
165
00:08:01,833 --> 00:08:03,533
No one's going to the game!
166
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,767
[glass shatters]
167
00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:20,767
[grunting]
168
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:21,967
[dog growling]
169
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:25,200
(Sam)
'Aw, not again! Aah!'
170
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:31,633
What are you doing?
171
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:33,067
What does it look like
I'm doing?
172
00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:35,800
I'm putting the garbage
in the garbage can.
173
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,633
Those are pictures of me.
174
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,467
Well, you only had
two photos of Porky
175
00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,567
but by then it was too late.
176
00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:44,800
I was on a roll.
177
00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:47,133
Daffy, you've gotta
apologize to Porky.
178
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,600
Why? Because he's done so much
for me over the years?
179
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:53,233
Because he's shown himself
to be a generous person
180
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,167
of tremendous character
and integrity
181
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,300
and it's petty of me
to hold a grudge
182
00:08:58,367 --> 00:09:02,000
over a tiny, harmless
misunderstanding?
183
00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:04,100
No, because I wanna
go to the game.
184
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:05,967
Well, you can forget
about the game
185
00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:07,933
because I'm not apologizing.
186
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,167
He thought they were
for the table!
187
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:15,300
Oh! So now you're taking
his side?
188
00:09:15,367 --> 00:09:18,167
I'm not taking his side.
I'm not taking your side.
189
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,533
There are no sides.
It's French fries!
190
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,433
This isn't about French fries!
This is about morals!
191
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:25,767
You don't have morals!
192
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:29,533
Well, then I guess
it's about French fries!
193
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,867
[slams door]
194
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,467
That's my room.
195
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:34,767
[glass shatters]
196
00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:37,133
Your room, your problem.
197
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,700
Wow. Thank you.
198
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,367
Don't thank me.
Thank Daffy.
199
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:47,867
- It's from him.
- Really?
200
00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:50,133
He feels terrible about
what happened.
201
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,233
But how come he didn't
bring it over?
202
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,867
He was too ashamed.
He couldn't face you.
203
00:09:54,933 --> 00:09:56,233
But he wrote you a card.
204
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,033
Here, read it.
205
00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:01,033
"Dear Porky, I'm so sorry."
206
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,067
"You were right, I was wrong."
207
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,633
"The French fries were
for the table."
208
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,533
"Dear Daffy, I'm so sorry."
209
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,000
"You were right.
I was wrong."
210
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,900
"They were your French
fries."
211
00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:14,867
"I hope we can put
this all behind us."
212
00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:17,400
"Go to the game,
and be friends again
213
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,400
at the game."
214
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,900
"In friendship, Daffy Duck."
215
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:23,067
"In friendship, Porky Pig."
216
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:24,400
So what do you say?
217
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:28,100
Can we let bygones be bygones
and all go to the game?
218
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,567
Of course we can.
219
00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:32,433
I mean, just look at this
incredible gift basket.
220
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,500
I guess we can.
221
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:34,567
But you've got to admit
222
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,133
that's a lame gift basket.
223
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,233
Twenty two, 23, 24.
224
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,100
There's only 25 people
in front of us.
225
00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:45,733
We're almost inside!
226
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,367
Playoffs!
227
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:50,733
Daffy, I'm really glad
we settled things.
228
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,700
Well, it took a big man
to admit they were wrong.
229
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,533
I couldn't agree more.
230
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,100
Great.
Everyone agrees.
231
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,433
Took a big man, there's no need
to talk about it anymore
232
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:04,900
because we're only 16, 17, 18
people away from the big game!
233
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:06,533
That was a really nice
gift basket.
234
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,767
You know, the thing about gift
baskets is they're so much nicer
235
00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,067
when you don't talk about them.
236
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:12,633
I don't know about really nice.
237
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,500
I mean, once you take off
the ribbons and the bows
238
00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:17,100
and all the straw, it's just
a couple of scented candles
239
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,133
and some weird fruit.
240
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,167
Whatever it is, it's over
241
00:11:20,233 --> 00:11:22,100
it's done, we've moved on
242
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:25,600
and we're nine, ten,
11 people away.
243
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:29,300
So let's just silently
bide our time.
244
00:11:29,367 --> 00:11:31,433
Well, regardless,
it's the thought that counts.
245
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,633
- I agree.
- So, thank you.
246
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:35,467
- For what?
- The gift basket.
247
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:38,300
- What gift basket?
- We're two people away.
248
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:40,400
Let's talk about this
when we get inside.
249
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:41,700
The one you gave me.
250
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,600
You gave me a gift basket.
251
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,000
But why would I give you
a gift basket?
252
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:49,667
- Just give him your ticket.
- For eating my fries.
253
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:50,967
You're holding up the line.
254
00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:52,667
I thought they were
for the table.
255
00:11:52,733 --> 00:11:54,333
They came with my sandwich.
256
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,700
So you didn't get me
a gift basket?
257
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,900
No! You got me a gift
basket.
258
00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:01,167
I didn't give you
any gift basket.
259
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:02,467
I got the gift baskets!
260
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:04,433
I don't care about
the French fries!
261
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,033
I just wanna go to the game!
262
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:10,333
Well, no one's going
to the game!
263
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,133
No!
264
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,567
I wouldn't wanna go to a game
with a piece of garbage, anyway!
265
00:12:17,533 --> 00:12:19,233
Here's my ticket.
266
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,667
Kind of a long story.
267
00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:24,033
'They had a fight.'
268
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,467
French fries.
269
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:37,400
♪ When the snow flurries swirl ♪
270
00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:42,033
♪ And we're all filled
with cheer ♪
271
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:46,167
♪ It's time to celebrate ♪
272
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:50,633
♪ My favorite holiday
of the year ♪
273
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,667
You know which one
I'm talking about
274
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,167
Presidents' Day!
275
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:57,400
♪ It's Presidents' Day ♪
276
00:12:57,467 --> 00:13:00,700
♪ It's time to reflect
on this wonderful man ♪
277
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,600
♪ That we elect ♪
278
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:05,667
♪ Abraham Lincoln
and George Washington ♪
279
00:13:05,733 --> 00:13:08,567
♪ Thomas Jefferson
and Alec Baldwin ♪
280
00:13:08,633 --> 00:13:11,733
♪ Celebrate Oscar De La Hoya ♪
281
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,133
♪ He fought off the British ♪
282
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,033
♪ So they would not annoy ya ♪
283
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,300
♪ Raise the flag ♪
284
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:18,000
♪ The stars and stripes ♪
285
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:21,200
♪ Our 41st President
Wesley Snipes ♪
286
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,033
♪ Charles Nelson Reilly
won the war ♪
287
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,767
♪ With the help of his mighty
Vice President Thor ♪
288
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:30,533
♪ We were in trouble
at the Battle of Manila ♪
289
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:35,567
♪ But lucky for us
we had President Godzilla ♪
290
00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,233
Thanks, President Godzilla
291
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:41,100
♪ My country 'tis of thee ♪
292
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:45,100
♪ Sweet land of Mr. T ♪
293
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:48,900
♪ And Mrs. T ♪
294
00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:52,967
♪ They did so much for us ♪
295
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,900
♪ Like President Spartacus ♪
296
00:13:56,967 --> 00:14:00,967
♪ Who chopped down a forest ♪
297
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:05,833
♪ So we can have
softer toilet paper ♪
298
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,333
Okay, this is really soft.
299
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,500
And now, let's salute
one of our greatest presidents
300
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,400
President Johnson.
301
00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,267
Oh, no.
No, not that one.
302
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,300
No, no, sorry.
Not him either.
303
00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:17,767
Oh, there he is!
304
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:21,000
♪ So celebrate
our fearless leaders ♪
305
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:24,100
♪ Like Harrison Ford
and his VP Derek Jeter ♪
306
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,567
♪ And let's not forget
President Pacino ♪
307
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,767
♪ Who fought at the Alamo
with Robert De Niro ♪
308
00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:33,500
♪ Celebrate
everyone's dancing ♪
309
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,867
♪ For the first woman President
Scarlett Johansson ♪
310
00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:40,367
♪ It's Presidents' Day
yeah yeah yeah ♪
311
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:44,167
♪ Oh yeah yeah ooh ♪♪
312
00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:45,533
Oh, my gosh, I just sounded
313
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,800
exactly like President
Christina Aguilera.
314
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,867
[sighs]
That is so crazy.
315
00:14:56,867 --> 00:14:58,567
Somebody park this thing.
316
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,200
Excuse me. Pardon me.
317
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,367
Uh, would you mind just
lifting your foot a little bit?
318
00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:05,867
I think you're standing
on a piece of my ticket.
319
00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:09,000
Oh, nope.
Now you're standing on my hand.
320
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,200
Excuse me, coming through.
321
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:13,200
VIP. Million dollar VIP.
322
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,467
Sam?
323
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:19,067
Meh, what's up, neighbor?
324
00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:22,367
Out of my way!
I got a field goal to kick.
325
00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:23,833
Well, good luck.
326
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,000
You're gonna need it.
327
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:28,567
What's that supposed to mean?
328
00:15:28,633 --> 00:15:31,833
Well, if I only had one chance
to win a million dollars
329
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,467
I'd want luck on my side.
330
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,400
And you know, nothing's luckier
than a rabbit's foot.
331
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,167
Ooh!
332
00:15:38,233 --> 00:15:39,700
You'd be willing
to part with it?
333
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:42,767
No, you idiot!
Take me in there with you.
334
00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:44,133
Oh, right.
335
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:54,233
Where do you think
you're a-going?
336
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,100
- Watch the game.
- Unh-uh.
337
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,600
You and them lucky feet
ain't leaving my side
338
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,533
till I kick that ball
through them uprights.
339
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,533
A deal's a deal.
340
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,733
[whistles]
341
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,567
[crowd cheering]
342
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,567
Fine.
343
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,800
But after you kick the ball
344
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,933
I'm kicking you to the curb.
345
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:14,633
Ugh, I should have
just taken his foot.
346
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,433
(male commentator on TV)
'And Dallas better
be careful here'
347
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,767
'because New York's been better
than anyone in the league'
348
00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,533
'at blocking field goals.'
349
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,533
Oh, hey, Pinky. Table for one?
350
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,333
I can get a girlfriend
any time I want.
351
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,900
Whoa, easy.
352
00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:36,267
Why are you so defensive?
353
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,600
Maybe that's why
you don't have a girlfriend.
354
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,067
No, it's that face.
355
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:41,767
Start growing a beard, man.
356
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:43,467
Can I just get a table?
357
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,833
Unfortunately, we don't have
any tables available.
358
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,333
Packed house for the game.
359
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,533
If you want, there's a seat
at the counter.
360
00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:54,667
[indistinct chatter]
361
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:00,300
Great.
362
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:04,167
Without question, I have
the worst seat in the stadium.
363
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:07,300
[panting]
364
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,100
Five minutes till halftime.
365
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,367
You know, you're missing
an incredible game.
366
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:18,700
[whistles]
367
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:20,467
[groans]
368
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:22,033
[grunting]
369
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,400
You're not wearing cleats?
370
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:26,833
Hah! These dudes
are my secret weapon.
371
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,500
A pointed toe makes the ball
fly through.
372
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,600
You're gonna slip.
You gotta wear cleats.
373
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:34,700
Ooh, I see what's going on.
374
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,567
You're jealous of me.
375
00:17:36,633 --> 00:17:39,433
You don't want me to win
a million dollars.
376
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,767
I'm not jealous of you.
377
00:17:40,833 --> 00:17:42,633
Well, too bad for you
378
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:46,733
'cause the bootsies
is staying on the tootsies.
379
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:52,400
Come on, rabbit.
Bring your feet.
380
00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:03,600
Finally! I'm gonna see
some action.
381
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:08,033
[crowd cheering]
382
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,700
What's happening?
What's happening?
383
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:14,967
What happened?
384
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:16,567
(male announcer)
'Touchdown.'
385
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:20,533
Whoa!
386
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:24,067
[thud]
387
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,000
Should have worn cleats.
388
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,167
Why, you razzle fra..
389
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,400
Uh, pardon me, doll
390
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:41,600
but may I borrow your nail file?
391
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,400
Oh, I'm sorry.
392
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:53,400
Is this for the table,
or is it just for you?
393
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:54,867
I'm not talking to you.
394
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,233
Well, I'm not talking to you.
395
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,900
Too late.
You just talked to me.
396
00:18:57,967 --> 00:19:00,700
- Real mature, Daffy.
- Daffy.
397
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:03,400
- Stop copying me.
- Stop copying me.
398
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:05,467
- Daffy, stop it!
- Daffy, stop it!
399
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:07,933
- I'm serious!
- I'm serious!
400
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,333
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
401
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,367
(male commentator on TV)
'And it's halftime.'
402
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,133
'Now let's go back down
on the field'
403
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,100
'as one lucky fan will get
a chance to kick a field goal'
404
00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:18,467
'for a million dollars.'
405
00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:23,600
Are you wearing cowboy boots?
406
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:25,400
Cowboy cleats!
407
00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,100
[laughs]
408
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,467
Come on, feet.
Lucky, lucky feet.
409
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:33,167
Alright, just kick the ball
so I can watch the second half.
410
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:51,367
[screaming]
411
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,633
(male commentator on TV)
'Ooh! You hate to see
that happen.'
412
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,933
[Sam screaming]
413
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,533
Ay, he should have worn
more appropriate shoes.
414
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,867
Can I get you anything else?
415
00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:06,333
I never got my side of fries.
416
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,667
What side of fries?
417
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,400
The fries that come
with the meatball sub.
418
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:11,467
Fries don't come
with the meatball sub.
419
00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,633
- They did last time.
- No, they didn't.
420
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,167
I just gave them to you guys
compliments of the house.
421
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:17,900
You know, for the table.
422
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,000
Well, that answers
that question.
423
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:25,733
You gonna eat that?
424
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,900
Is that Senor Bugs?
425
00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:34,033
Aah! It hurts so bad!
426
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,200
'Why me?'
427
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,867
Well, someone's gotta kick it.
428
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:47,600
[intense music]
429
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,000
[whistles]
430
00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:53,433
Hmm, I guess these feet
are lucky after all.
431
00:21:02,133 --> 00:21:05,533
I can't believe you gave
the million dollars to cha-rity.
432
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,733
- You mean "charity."
- Oh.
433
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,100
Is that how it's pronounced?
434
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:12,567
Hey, look over there.
435
00:21:12,633 --> 00:21:15,400
Porky got a girlfriend?
How?
436
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:17,967
[giggles]
437
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,900
I was right about
the beard, huh?
438
00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:32,467
Maybe I should grow one.
439
00:21:37,633 --> 00:21:40,167
[theme music]
440
00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,967
That's all folks!
441
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,767
[glass shatters]