Hey, plants and plantettes,
[chuckles]
Oh, what is that?
Well, hello!
How long have you been hiding out down there?
Sorry green gang,
your full root massage is gonna have to wait.
[thunder]
My students are sure gonna dig
all the archaeological stuff I dug up on you!
[chuckles]
Ah!
Pardon my nap.
And you are?
I am Lucia.
I have been summoned.
Am I being replaced?
How long have I been out?
I think I better go and see the nurse.
I heard we have a sub in for Mr. G!
What prank do we pull first?
Alien fire drill or sub in a bucket?
What?
Oh.
Hottest sub EVER!
* She's the girl next door.
* She's the girl next door
* Just for me
* What you get is what you see
* She's the girl next door.
* She's the girl next door
[*]
Yan ta uicual, tuxiulli panum uu.
Mackta tu-
What is she saying?
Shh.
Trying to concentrate.
You understand her?
She's talking?
I didn't notice.
[knocking]
Duvokali uxmaka.
Hey.
What's going on in there?
Who's the fashion-fail in the muumuu?
I know, right?
Ms Lucia is subbing for Mr. G.
She's so nice.
Right.
Anyway, do you still have any of those
little wooden-stake darts?
You mean pencils? Yeah, why?
Some vampire jerk stood her up.
She wants to make a point, but I-
All warriors must get to work.
The hour of judgment approaches.
Okay.
Uh, so where are the girl warriors?
Banished.
Maidens have no use
but to serve their queen when the hour is at hand.
Ah!
What did Ms. Lucia mean by "hour of judgment"?
She's talking about a test!
Yes.
You will all be tested.
Test me first.
Is the question, "Are you pretty?"
Answer: Uh-huhhhh.
Now, who will help me?
We must make an altar
on which to heap offerings to the light.
I don't think we can do that.
Last time I tried putting a hot tub in the science lab-
Your altar shall be most awesome.
This is the weirdest homework ever.
What part of "sacred list of offerings
to please the heavens" don't you understand?
Uh, all of it.
I don't even know what half of this is,
let alone where to find it.
Never question the orders of a babe.
All right?
Now if you don't mind,
all I need to be teacher's pet is...
bloodstone?
You girls have any bloodstone?
It sounds vampirey!
All outta bloodstone.
But I can make you bleed with a rock.
-have to find frog hearts.
Yeah.
Am I nuts or did we just get blown off by nerds?
Something messed up is going on.
Excuse me- who are you?
Who authorized you to make a desk fort?
Mind your tone when addressing Lucia.
I have come to return the world to endless light.
Oh, I see, so you are crazy.
Cuckoo.
Your deck is less than full.
As you command, my queen.
Uh, why's she still here?
Don't tell me she's subbing for our class too.
She's not even all that hot.
Okay, fine, she's a goddess.
But I can still hate her.
Lucia is a queen; she is not a goddess.
I told you maidens, go.
So you want us to skip class?
We have- Done and done.
Principal Hicks?
Are you sure you're cool with this?
Excellent.
Okay.
Cow lips, pigeon feet ...
snake liver?
Where'm I gonna find that?
Yes!
Old hotdogs!
They're crammed full of weird animal bits!
Ms. Lucia's going to love me!
I claim these for my queen.
Get your hands off my hotdogs, you weenie!
[phone rings]
My queen. Stop it!
My queen. My queen.
Hello? Ethan, forget the stupid scavenger hunt.
Your weird sub is getting weirder.
Sarah, it's no big deal.
She's just-- Hot?
I know, but you need to wake up!
Principal Hicks hates being sat on.
Don't worry, I'll look into it, okay?
Okay, bye.
Guys, stop!
It's all fun and games
till someone gets a hotdog in the eye-
What are you talking about? Ow! My eye!
Ugh! See?
Praise the Sun King.
Praise the Sun King!
Ms. L! Hey! I did it!
Wildflowers, animal parts, and frog hearts-bam!
You can't beat any of my frog hearts
This is really messed up.
The offerings are pleasing.
Next, the altar must be made to shine like the Sun.
Uno problemo.
Benny, where are you going?
Relax, dude. I seek gold for my queen!
You have no offering, scrawny one?
Then you must bring me extra gold.
Most teachers are happy with getting an apple.
No gold for me.
It is for him.
My love.
Something wrong, little funny face?
Uh, I think I have some gold stars
on my algebra test.
They're extra shiny. I'll go get them.
Do as your queen commands.
Praise the Sun King.
Jane, is Ethan here?
Yeah, but he's acting kinda insane.
Even for him.
Let's go see.
Silver, rubies, diamonds: worthless junk!
Lucia demands gold!
What's a Lucia?
Gold for my queen!
I think Ethan and the guys at school
are under some sort of spell.
It's up to the girls to save the day.
All right! Count me in!
I got your gold.
Thousands of years' worth
of grandma's antique jewellery.
And I have filled my pockets
with gold coins for my queen!
Oh man.
The chocolate part melted.
Close enough, young warriors.
Put them in the fire.
Gooooooooooooold!
Where did you get that?
Pried loose from the bosom of mother Earth!
I dug it up.
The Sun King will be most pleased.
You kiss HIM? No fair! He's immortal!
How can we compete!
Silence!
Now melt the gold and pour it over the altar.
Get to work!
Now hang on a jiffy!
I'm feeling ship-shape
so if you don't mind, I'd like my class back.
And, ooh, my crystal skull.
Oh guys, what would the fire marshal say
about this open flame?
Fire marshal here: Guys, that is a no-no!
And you are more smouldering
than that fire but uh-
Well, as I was saying:
praise the Sun King and call me sacred vessel.
Wooo!
Praise the Sun King!
Masta toocha-
Lucia da.
Masta eecha Lucia na.
Praise the Sun King!
He will soon return to us.
You may cheer.
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
Soon the final ceremony will demand the ultimate sacrifice.
Me! Me!
Eecha Lucia na.
Masta eecha Lucia na.
That Lucia thinks she's so hot,
it makes my blood boil!
Ah, ow!
That's not the only thing that's boiling!
Lucia's heating the whole world up.
The Sun is turning my skin into human fondue!
If I find that Sun King,
I am going to knock his teeth out.
We need a plan and fast.
Think-what would Ethan and Benny do?
No offence, but that's a really stupid idea.
You know saying "no offence" doesn't make it less mean.
No, you admit-
You wish you're chosen!
Whatever.
I'm not leaving without smashing something.
Well, she seems to like that skull.
We will die in defence of the sacred skull.
Especially Rory. Yeah.
Whatevs.
Wait!
They're under a spell!
We need to retreat and come up with a better plan.
Fine. But we'll be back.
Masta eecha Lucia na.
If that's not a spell,
this is the worst glee club ever.
Masta eecha Lucia na.
who are worried about reports from certain scientists
about a visibly swollen solar corona, or Sun,
that may melt the entire planet.
But there's no need to panic.
This just means we're gonna have
a doozy of a sunset tonight at the hour of judgment.
[chuckles] Wowzah.
Sounds like the hour of judgment
is tonight at sundown.
And if we don't act fast,
the Sun's gonna take down our friends with it!
I'm glad you called me.
I figured we needed to come up with a plan
like Ethan and Benny would.
And then give up, call you.
Like Ethan and Benny would.
Lucia is an ancient Maztak name.
Now, the Maztaks were pretty big
on gold and animal hearts too.
Look.
"The Sun King and the Sky Queen created the earth together,
but an argument between the two
brought eternal night to the world."
Too bad they didn't have couples counselling.
the Sun King will return to the earth
in an explosion of light
that will end the mortal world"?
At least I won't have to finish that essay.
Yay!
Lucia had the boys build an altar at school.
She said the hour of judgment was tonight at sundown.
Well, what're you doing yammering with an old lady?
It's girl power or nothing.
We need to get our geek on and come up with a plan fast.
Yay!
She said girl power, not little girl power.
Boo.
The ceremony will soon begin.
Lower.
The light must hit at the perfect angle.
Prepare the chosen one!
This final offering must please the Sun King.
Yup! Chosen one coming through.
I'm number one! I'm number one!
I can't believe the guy who always gets picked last
gets to be the chosen one.
I can't believe I'm jealous of Rory.
Where's our big plan?
I'm trying to find Lucia's weakness
and her power source.
What exactly are you doing to help?
Lucia's only weakness is her taste in robes.
And glass heads.
Right! Her crystal skull!
I bet that's her power source!
Check this out.
The Sun's rays are lighting up the skull!
So what?
So, what happened in the original myth?
Why did the Sun and the Earth split up in the first place?
Uh, long-distance relationships never work out?
Heh. Nice one. Here it is:
they split because the Moon Goddess came between them.
Great.
Gotta give the Moon Goddess a call.
Got her cell number?
Maybe we don't need the actual Moon.
Just something that will channel the Moon's energy.
Well, maybe I'm just a "little girl,"
but I know a big geek who paid six months' allowance
to buy moonstones online.
EW!
Okay, got 'em.
Let's go.
You're welcome!
You two may now anoint the chosen one
with precious oils.
Ick.
I mean, must we, my Queen?
It'd be faster to spray him.
You heard our Queen!
Anoint me!
Eww.
Good anointing.
Wow-pretty.
Yow! That's hurting the chosen one!
You!
You are unpure!
You are cursed!
You are not the chosen one.
Great, we rubbed oil all over him
and he's not even pure!
But I smell like coconut!
You are the final offering.
Yes, my Queen.
Ah, no way!
No fair!
Wait. No!
No, guys, this is wrong.
This is bad.
We have to stop this!
Oh, suck it up, puppy face!
If that's what the Queen wants, then so be it.
It's the end of the world!
based on one old legend.
You're under a spell! I am not the chosen one!
So modest. I was not worthy.
She's gonna destroy all of you!
Nobody likes a sore winner, Ethan.
Come on. Time to dethrone a queen.
Who dares defile the Sun King's sacred temple?
* [rock music]
The weather girls are here with an updated forecast.
Yeah, cloudy with a 100 percent chance
[grunting]
[crash]
Wow, you guys look hot!
It's a shame we're gonna have to destroy you.
Chosen one needs your help!
Ah!
What happened?
Why are my hands so oily?
Why do I look like a basted turkey?
Ew!
Accept this sacrifice my Sun King!
Ah! Purify the Earth in eternal fire!
Here's one final offering!
From the Moon Goddess!
[screams]
[thunderous noise]
Nooooooooooo!
Ah!
What-what happened?
True story.
Hey! You smashed my moon rocks!
I guess the way you stopped Lucia was pretty cool.
I just wish Mr. G thought it was cool.
He gave us a week's detention for smashing his skull.
Sweet!
Not literally!
Oh.
Wow!
Mr. G has never given anyone detention!