1
00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:16,459
Hello! My name is Donta,
not to be mistaken with Don Tacos.
2
00:00:16,459 --> 00:00:18,127
It's Don!
3
00:00:18,127 --> 00:00:19,962
One, two, Sheila E.
4
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,568
It's so nice and quiet here.
5
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:26,803
Like Den-en-chofu.
6
00:00:28,371 --> 00:00:29,839
Well then...
7
00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:35,144
Here in the rakugo group,
we have an odd pupil named Kotora.
8
00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:36,112
Let me be your pupil!
9
00:00:36,112 --> 00:00:38,448
He's actually a yakuza,
10
00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:42,151
but he decided to work
as an apprentice under Master Donbei.
11
00:00:42,985 --> 00:00:45,521
What the hell do you know about my life?
12
00:00:45,521 --> 00:00:48,491
He's a man
with a bit of a complicated past...
13
00:00:49,058 --> 00:00:50,660
But men are quite simple.
14
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,729
When they see a hot woman,
they turn into animals!
15
00:00:53,729 --> 00:00:56,732
Their brains shrink
down to the size of a T-Rex's.
16
00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:00,403
If they see a hole,
they just want to stick it in!
17
00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:03,539
Oh? Have we met before?
18
00:01:04,807 --> 00:01:09,245
Ryuji and Toraji finally buried
the hatchet, but not for long!
19
00:01:09,245 --> 00:01:11,781
And that's
where we ended the story before.
20
00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:16,119
It seems I have some time left over.
21
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,820
Well, here's a short story!
22
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:21,090
"Mother, how are babies born?"
23
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:24,660
"You see, a stork brings them over."
24
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,729
"Then how are storks born?"
25
00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:30,967
"Former Giants player Kono brings them."
26
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:33,469
Don, don, don! A sacrifice bunt!
27
00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:35,071
Huh?
28
00:01:42,378 --> 00:01:43,212
Tiger and Drag--
29
00:01:51,287 --> 00:01:52,321
{\an8}MANJU KOWAI EPISODE
30
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,591
{\an8}He's so cute, I could just eat him up!
31
00:01:55,591 --> 00:01:57,360
{\an8}You'd be so delicious!
32
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,763
Hey! I'm scared because
you look like you'd really eat him!
33
00:02:00,763 --> 00:02:02,698
Have you decided on a name yet?
34
00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:08,037
We have Donta, Donkichi, Dontsuku,
Donburi. What was your name again?
35
00:02:08,037 --> 00:02:08,938
It's Udon, sir!
36
00:02:09,572 --> 00:02:10,506
How silly!
37
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,542
Well, you can be Ten-don!
38
00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,644
He's already planning
to make him a rakugoka!
39
00:02:14,644 --> 00:02:17,747
You'll be the 3rd generation
to take over the family business.
40
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,549
Right, Donta?
41
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:21,050
Donta?
42
00:02:25,922 --> 00:02:28,824
Ryu-chan, Father wants
to know what we'll name him.
43
00:02:28,824 --> 00:02:29,725
Oh!
44
00:02:30,426 --> 00:02:33,229
You better hurry,
or they'll name him Ten-don.
45
00:02:33,996 --> 00:02:34,830
That's fine.
46
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,767
No, it's not! Hold on a second!
47
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,402
Master! You can't!
48
00:02:43,239 --> 00:02:44,640
{\an8}POLL FOR WOMEN
49
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:45,942
{\an8}CELEBRITY YOU WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH
50
00:02:45,942 --> 00:02:47,276
{\an8}#1 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
51
00:02:47,276 --> 00:02:49,078
He took Degawa's spot.
52
00:02:49,078 --> 00:02:52,782
Master! We didn't decide
if Taro will become a storyteller yet!
53
00:02:52,782 --> 00:02:55,751
Taro? That's such an ordinary name.
54
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:58,421
We thought too hard,
so it ended up being normal.
55
00:02:58,421 --> 00:03:00,690
At one point,
we thought of naming him Mozart!
56
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:04,360
Sayuri-chan,
there has been so much good news.
57
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,997
A new grandchild,
Donkichi being promoted to headliner...
58
00:03:07,997 --> 00:03:08,798
What?
59
00:03:08,798 --> 00:03:11,767
Last night, we received
a call from the association.
60
00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:13,536
They're going to promote Donkichi.
61
00:03:14,036 --> 00:03:14,870
I see.
62
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:19,141
- That was unexpected...
- I'm sorry.
63
00:03:19,141 --> 00:03:22,178
Not at all!
Become a headliner or anything you wish!
64
00:03:22,178 --> 00:03:24,413
When will it be announced?
I'll open for you.
65
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,348
Dear...
66
00:03:26,115 --> 00:03:29,986
With a chubby Woody Allen headlining,
we wouldn't be able to fill the theater!
67
00:03:29,986 --> 00:03:32,288
I, the prince of rakugo,
will liven things up!
68
00:03:32,288 --> 00:03:36,425
Did you hear?
Donta's doing rakugo. Amazing.
69
00:03:38,127 --> 00:03:38,995
Yo!
70
00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:41,864
I heard you've got a new boyfriend.
71
00:03:41,864 --> 00:03:44,533
To tell you the truth,
I'm the one spreading it.
72
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:48,037
How nice! I should dress up
and find myself a girl, too!
73
00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:48,938
Hey!
74
00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:51,307
Whoa! I thought they were mannequins!
75
00:03:52,074 --> 00:03:53,709
Why the hell are you mad?
76
00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:55,544
I'm not mad.
77
00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:56,746
You are.
78
00:03:56,746 --> 00:03:59,181
I'm mad because you keep
saying I'm mad when I'm not!
79
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:00,383
So you are mad!
80
00:04:00,383 --> 00:04:01,651
I'm not mad!
81
00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:04,854
Calm down, guys!
Both of you seem plenty mad to me.
82
00:04:04,854 --> 00:04:06,022
Come here, Chibi.
83
00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:08,858
What?
84
00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:11,861
You took my Megumi-chan?
85
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:14,263
Oh! You're mad about Megumi?
86
00:04:14,263 --> 00:04:16,365
You just realized that? And I'm not mad!
87
00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:18,034
Nothing's going on between us.
88
00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,201
You haven't done it yet?
89
00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:20,503
We already did it twice.
90
00:04:22,104 --> 00:04:24,740
He never asked how many times!
91
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:25,975
Just a moment.
92
00:04:26,575 --> 00:04:31,147
Hello? Torachi?
I'm at the Tokyo Tower right now for work!
93
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:35,685
Yup! I'm on my break.
Want to have dinner later tonight?
94
00:04:35,685 --> 00:04:38,888
Hey! Quit calling me
over stupid stuff like that!
95
00:04:39,522 --> 00:04:41,724
Huh? What's your problem?
96
00:04:42,224 --> 00:04:44,960
What? Don't act like you're my girlfriend.
97
00:04:46,262 --> 00:04:48,097
All right. I'll see you later.
98
00:04:49,899 --> 00:04:50,733
Where were we?
99
00:04:52,134 --> 00:04:53,402
Forget it.
100
00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:55,338
Are you giving up?
101
00:04:55,938 --> 00:05:00,376
You're letting a guy like
this steal that girl with nice, long legs?
102
00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:02,645
You're way funnier than this guy.
103
00:05:03,913 --> 00:05:05,981
It doesn't matter if I'm funny.
104
00:05:06,482 --> 00:05:10,653
A sense of humor is meaningless to women!
105
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,188
What?
106
00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:13,856
You like her?
107
00:05:14,623 --> 00:05:17,360
So why the hell
did you get involved with her?
108
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,894
Why didn't you all just do her?
109
00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:22,698
A few drinks and dinner
is all you need, right?
110
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,401
- Don't talk and just do.
- Say something!
111
00:05:26,469 --> 00:05:27,570
I can't...
112
00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:30,906
Our brains work differently,
so I don't know what to say.
113
00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:33,342
Did I do something wrong?
114
00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:38,814
Sorry. I won't do it anymore
if you love Megumi--
115
00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:40,950
I told you I don't love her.
116
00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:42,618
When did I ever say that?
117
00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:44,120
It's pretty obvious!
118
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,622
I'd tell you if I really love her!
119
00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:47,923
Just leave me alone!
120
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,060
Hey!
121
00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:54,363
- What're you doing here?
- Why did you come here?
122
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:59,268
Hey! Wait a minute!
It's been a while, right?
123
00:05:59,835 --> 00:06:03,639
It's good for brothers
to chat once in a while.
124
00:06:04,373 --> 00:06:07,443
If you feel uncomfortable,
Kotora and I will help.
125
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:08,077
I'm going.
126
00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:10,079
- What?
- I still have my yakuza duties.
127
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:12,348
See you guys later.
128
00:06:18,888 --> 00:06:19,722
Sit down.
129
00:06:21,857 --> 00:06:22,525
All right.
130
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,594
- Good evening!
- Hey!
131
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:29,165
Hey Ginjiro,
what's Hyuga been up to lately?
132
00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:30,065
What?
133
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,069
He hasn't been in the office
and isn't picking up his phone.
134
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:35,838
You didn't hear?
135
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:36,839
What?
136
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:37,907
He got married.
137
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:44,046
And she's only 18!
Only graduated high school in the Spring.
138
00:06:44,046 --> 00:06:45,681
It's a crime if you ask me!
139
00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:46,682
Jun-kun...
140
00:06:46,682 --> 00:06:50,319
Wasn't he dating your older sister?
141
00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:54,256
He was. Pops was set on
the idea of them getting married.
142
00:06:54,256 --> 00:06:59,094
I know it's weird for me to say it,
but she's not that great, you know?
143
00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:03,399
I don't approve of this, Hyuga!
144
00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:07,636
You hurt my precious Shizuka-chan!
145
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,971
I'm so sorry, sir.
146
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:12,241
If you're sorry, why the hell
would you do something like this?
147
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:17,213
Is this how you repay me?
By making her cry?
148
00:07:17,213 --> 00:07:21,016
She's been bar-hopping
around Roppongi ever since high school...
149
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:25,888
so this doesn't faze her,
but Pops is really pissed.
150
00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,725
He'll probably call tomorrow.
151
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,166
It's your dad...
152
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:40,236
I know it's not exactly
the adult thing to do,
153
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:47,109
but it's our duty as yakuza to go
all the way in a situation like this.
154
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:51,614
If not, how can I live
up to my reputation?
155
00:07:52,414 --> 00:07:57,520
Do you really have to live
up to this reputation of yours?
156
00:07:58,721 --> 00:07:59,755
Of course!
157
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:00,489
I see.
158
00:08:01,123 --> 00:08:01,957
So what should I do?
159
00:08:01,957 --> 00:08:05,561
Make something "happen"
at Hyuga's wedding party.
160
00:08:06,896 --> 00:08:07,730
What?
161
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,764
What?
162
00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:09,965
That's a bit petty...
163
00:08:09,965 --> 00:08:12,368
Why don't we just threaten his wife?
164
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:13,602
Idiot!
165
00:08:13,602 --> 00:08:16,705
I would never
do something like that to Hyuga!
166
00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:20,843
Come on! We'll just teach him a lesson.
167
00:08:20,843 --> 00:08:24,113
Then, Shizuka-chan
will feel better! Right?
168
00:08:24,113 --> 00:08:25,714
I'll feel a lot better!
169
00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:28,284
Tora,
170
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,019
I'm counting on you.
171
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,891
Donkichi's going to be a headliner.
172
00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:41,463
I see...
173
00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:43,866
Is that why you're all depressed?
174
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:47,336
Don't be stupid! He's turning
40 this year. It's about time.
175
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:51,340
Donkichi was a station
master till he was 30, right?
176
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,476
Promotion to headliner
in ten years is commendable.
177
00:08:54,476 --> 00:08:55,678
Don...
178
00:08:55,678 --> 00:08:57,680
Don't get down over every little thing!
179
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,783
There's more to rakugo
than going on stage.
180
00:09:00,783 --> 00:09:04,186
Yeah. You can continue doing
rakugo, no matter how old you get.
181
00:09:04,853 --> 00:09:06,021
You should keep making your TV--
182
00:09:06,021 --> 00:09:09,224
That's what made me the number one man
you wouldn't sleep with.
183
00:09:09,224 --> 00:09:11,026
I have to try harder.
184
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:12,761
I'm a father of two.
185
00:09:14,330 --> 00:09:16,532
I'll try harder. I can do it!
186
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,469
And what about you?
187
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,172
You're in no position
to sit there and drink.
188
00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:24,006
Me?
189
00:09:24,006 --> 00:09:24,807
Yes, you!
190
00:09:24,807 --> 00:09:27,476
Because of your stupid store,
Dad's in debt.
191
00:09:27,476 --> 00:09:29,778
And that's why no women
want to sleep with me.
192
00:09:30,412 --> 00:09:34,516
Make women want me!
Make women with long legs want me!
193
00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:36,585
Wiggle wiggle.
194
00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:37,720
That's more like you now...
195
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,555
Don! Don! Wiggle wiggle!
196
00:09:39,555 --> 00:09:42,157
Wiggle, wiggle, pitter-patter.
197
00:09:47,062 --> 00:09:47,896
Don-chan, you know...
198
00:09:47,896 --> 00:09:50,065
- What?
- You know...
199
00:09:50,065 --> 00:09:50,966
Oh, right!
200
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,069
Pull yourself together, dear!
201
00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:57,306
Right, right...
202
00:09:57,306 --> 00:10:03,012
Donkichi over here
has finally become a headliner.
203
00:10:03,012 --> 00:10:05,714
Yay! That's great!
204
00:10:05,714 --> 00:10:07,583
Shut up. You're too loud.
205
00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:08,651
Okay?
206
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:13,122
He'll be the first ever
headliner at Hayashiyate.
207
00:10:13,122 --> 00:10:17,860
We'll announce this to the public soon,
so we need to put together a program.
208
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:20,062
Is Tora-chan going to perform?
209
00:10:20,062 --> 00:10:22,431
Nope. Only those above the 2nd rank.
210
00:10:22,431 --> 00:10:23,265
Who are you?
211
00:10:23,265 --> 00:10:24,333
I am Megumi!
212
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,768
She's Megumi!
213
00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:26,669
So who are you?
214
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:28,270
I'll just kick her out. Leave.
215
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,973
What are you doing? Why can't she stay?
216
00:10:30,973 --> 00:10:32,241
How long are your legs?
217
00:10:32,741 --> 00:10:34,176
Are they longer than 80 cm?
218
00:10:34,810 --> 00:10:35,811
They are, right?
219
00:10:37,646 --> 00:10:38,847
Never mind that
220
00:10:40,115 --> 00:10:42,151
Never mind that, Tora-chan.
221
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:46,221
You have to memorize a new story.
222
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:49,625
I still have that debt to pay back.
223
00:10:50,292 --> 00:10:54,496
3.8 million yen left.
I know! We should try "Manju Kowai."
224
00:10:54,496 --> 00:10:57,199
I don't like scary stories!
225
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:02,538
Is this story really that scary?
226
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:05,774
It's an opening act story,
227
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:09,611
but with the right skills,
it'll cause a roar of laughter.
228
00:11:10,112 --> 00:11:13,315
I'll be telling it today,
so why don't you come by and watch?
229
00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:14,783
Come and watch.
230
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:16,485
A roar of laughter?
231
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,895
You can still catch Donta's story.
232
00:11:30,132 --> 00:11:32,101
Torapyon, this ningyo-yaki is really good!
233
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:33,535
Hey, shut up for a second.
234
00:11:34,536 --> 00:11:37,239
Thank you all for coming.
I'm very honored to be here.
235
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:41,577
- People from Edo are rather impatient.
- Oh, he's telling "Manju Kowai" today!
236
00:11:42,111 --> 00:11:46,849
"It's so nice to soak in the bath!"
237
00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:50,986
"Oh? You're in the bath already?
238
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:54,723
But sir, isn't the water a bit cold?"
239
00:11:54,723 --> 00:11:58,360
"What do you mean?
I think the temperature's perfect!"
240
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,230
"Is that so, sir?
241
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,999
We haven't heated the baths yet."
242
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,902
The joke hasn't even started yet.
243
00:12:06,902 --> 00:12:13,842
"Come on in! Today we're just gonna sit
around and chat for awhile. Come on in!"
244
00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:17,045
Then let's get some sashimi
here and have a few drinks.
245
00:12:17,045 --> 00:12:20,783
That's what a rich person would say!
All we need is some hot tea.
246
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,384
Hot tea?
247
00:12:22,384 --> 00:12:25,053
What took you so long?
248
00:12:25,053 --> 00:12:26,655
I was scared out of my mind!
249
00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:27,389
What?
250
00:12:27,389 --> 00:12:32,294
I was taking a shortcut when I came
across a big blue-green snake!
251
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:35,798
It was sticking its tongue out
and staring at me!
252
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:41,970
I was so scared, I thought
he was going to swallow me whole!
253
00:12:48,677 --> 00:12:52,447
It's nothing to laugh so loud about.
254
00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:57,186
Everyone is afraid of something.
It could be for no reason.
255
00:12:57,186 --> 00:12:59,955
I just can't stand the sight of a slug!
256
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:05,060
- What about you, Kicchan?
- For me... it would be a frog.
257
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:07,996
I'm afraid of spiders!
258
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,299
I hate being broke.
259
00:13:10,299 --> 00:13:12,067
You're always broke, anyway!
260
00:13:13,268 --> 00:13:14,536
I don't like ants.
261
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:17,005
I hate horses...
262
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,641
Wow, you're all afraid
of the weirdest things.
263
00:13:20,142 --> 00:13:22,911
Hey Matsu, what are you afraid of?
264
00:13:22,911 --> 00:13:24,079
Shut up!
265
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:28,250
It's nothing to get angry about!
Everyone gathered here today...
266
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,586
I can't listen
to this stupidity any longer.
267
00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:33,155
You're afraid of snakes?
268
00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:36,692
Just give it a little squeeze
and make a headband out of it!
269
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:40,996
Afraid of spiders? I could just
throw a few in my natto and eat them!
270
00:13:40,996 --> 00:13:42,631
The webs would make it stickier.
271
00:13:42,631 --> 00:13:47,669
Afraid of ants? I'd just eat them
like sesame seeds on top of rice!
272
00:13:47,669 --> 00:13:50,372
They'd be all over
the place and difficult to eat.
273
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:55,777
Whether it's a horse or spiders,
I'd eat it no matter how many legs it has.
274
00:13:58,347 --> 00:14:04,186
Then Matsu, you'd eat
this table right here, too?
275
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:12,828
"Yeah, I don't see why I couldn't. But I
don't eat things that could hurt me."
276
00:14:14,296 --> 00:14:16,131
I don't get it. Why was that funny?
277
00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:18,567
How the hell would I know?
278
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,402
"So you don't fear anything?"
279
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,870
"Nope!"
280
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:22,871
"Really?"
281
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:29,177
"How many times do you I have tell you?
Oh, I just remembered one thing.
282
00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:31,446
I'm afraid of just one thing!"
283
00:14:31,446 --> 00:14:34,216
"Oh you are? What is it?"
284
00:14:34,216 --> 00:14:35,951
"I'm not telling you!"
285
00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:37,786
"Why not?"
286
00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,521
"No, you'll laugh at me."
287
00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:41,290
"No I won't! Come on!"
288
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,358
"All right, I'll tell you then.
289
00:14:44,126 --> 00:14:47,195
I'm scared of manju..."
290
00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,265
See! You're all laughing!
291
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,734
Manju? That food
with sweet red beans inside?
292
00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:54,503
Stop! Stop!
293
00:14:54,503 --> 00:14:55,637
Don't say that!
294
00:14:57,839 --> 00:14:59,975
Now I have the shivers!
295
00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:02,144
I'm gonna lie down for a bit.
296
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:05,948
I'm so scared of manju!
297
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:11,086
Isn't that weird? He's scared of manju!
298
00:15:11,086 --> 00:15:13,989
Why don't we play a little trick on him?
299
00:15:13,989 --> 00:15:17,893
Yeah! I've always had
a bone to pick with him!
300
00:15:17,893 --> 00:15:22,097
He always teases me
about my appearance! What's the plan?
301
00:15:22,097 --> 00:15:27,769
Buy a whole bunch of manju
and put them all around his pillow!
302
00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:36,111
He gets so scared just talking about it.
303
00:15:36,111 --> 00:15:39,481
Imagine if he actually saw a real manju!
He'd die of shock!
304
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,150
It would be death by manju!
305
00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:45,654
Let's play a little game.
306
00:15:47,356 --> 00:15:50,392
There's one manju here that
contains wasabi horseradish!
307
00:15:50,392 --> 00:15:53,929
Wait a minute! Nobody told me about this!
308
00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:57,432
"Hey Matsu! Wake up, Matsu!"
309
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:03,071
"What is it? I was sleeping so soundly!
310
00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:04,373
What's wrong?
311
00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:08,744
Oh! It's manju! I'm so scared!"
312
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,150
"I'm so scared!"
313
00:16:16,051 --> 00:16:18,253
It's spicy!
314
00:16:18,253 --> 00:16:19,488
Spicy! Spicy!
315
00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:26,428
"Oh no! Look at all these different
kinds of manju! I'm so scared!"
316
00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:27,963
It's so spicy!
317
00:16:27,963 --> 00:16:31,967
"It's chestnut manju! So scary!"
318
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:32,801
Spicy!
319
00:16:32,801 --> 00:16:34,269
"Soba manju.
320
00:16:35,570 --> 00:16:38,940
It's soba manju! Soba manju,
the scariest manju in the world."
321
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:40,542
So spicy!
322
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:42,244
"Soba manju."
323
00:16:42,244 --> 00:16:44,246
Ah! Spicy!
324
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:55,724
"Hey. He keeps saying he's scared,
but he keeps on eating them!
325
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,026
I think he tricked us."
326
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:02,297
"Hey Matsu! What is it that you're
really most afraid of in this world?"
327
00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:06,101
"Right now, I'm most afraid
of a nice strong cup of tea."
328
00:17:11,373 --> 00:17:14,042
Thank you very much.
329
00:17:14,042 --> 00:17:15,510
Thank you very much.
330
00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:17,813
Thank you very much.
331
00:17:21,183 --> 00:17:22,417
Good work everyone!
332
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,962
{\an8}MOST HATED CELEBRITY
333
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,899
{\an8}CELEBRITY YOU WOULDN'T WANT AS A
BOYFRIEND: #1 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
334
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,402
{\an8}CELEBRITY YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO
WORK WITH: #2 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
335
00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:42,971
{\an8}CELEBRITY YOU THINK WILL DISAPPEAR
AFTER THIS YEAR: #1 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
336
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,640
{\an8}CELEBRITY YOU WANT TO SEE GONE:
#1 HAYASHIYATE DONTA
337
00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:48,777
THE MOST HATED CELEBRITY RUNS
AWAY WITH THE TOP TITLE!
338
00:17:57,919 --> 00:18:00,088
Hello! This is Yamazaki's cellphone!
339
00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:03,925
He's unable to answer so I, Megumi--
340
00:18:03,925 --> 00:18:05,327
Don't answer my phone!
341
00:18:05,327 --> 00:18:06,528
Hello?
342
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:13,368
Sorry to interrupt your afternoon
drive with your little "sex friend."
343
00:18:13,368 --> 00:18:15,637
What the hell are you talking about?
344
00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:20,609
Do you have any plans for tonight?
345
00:18:20,609 --> 00:18:24,112
All right. I'll meet you
at the fish cake cart at 10 p.m.
346
00:18:24,112 --> 00:18:25,113
Wait, wait!
347
00:18:25,614 --> 00:18:27,582
You better come alone!
348
00:18:27,582 --> 00:18:30,886
Fish cakes! Fish cakes!
Fish cakes at 10 p.m.!
349
00:18:34,356 --> 00:18:35,257
Okay.
350
00:18:36,558 --> 00:18:39,094
I want fish cakes. Okay, Torajiro?
351
00:18:39,094 --> 00:18:41,897
Whatever is fine.
Just decide on one name to call me?
352
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,635
It's been bothering me for a while.
353
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:51,640
After you left, my brother got depressed
and has been bland on TV these days.
354
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,009
Really? He seems the same to me.
355
00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:57,612
He's going to be the opening act
for Donkichi's show soon.
356
00:18:57,612 --> 00:18:58,847
That's not good.
357
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,148
It's not?
358
00:19:00,148 --> 00:19:02,150
He's good when he practices,
359
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:04,986
but falls apart when on stage.
360
00:19:04,986 --> 00:19:06,421
He can't handle pressure.
361
00:19:06,421 --> 00:19:08,590
But they love him on TV.
362
00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:12,761
Those are spur-of-the-moment gags,
he's actually on the verge of a breakdown.
363
00:19:13,261 --> 00:19:16,932
He's really pessimistic.
Things improved since he got married.
364
00:19:16,932 --> 00:19:19,568
- His wife used to be more famous than him.
- Famous?
365
00:19:20,101 --> 00:19:21,102
You didn't know?
366
00:19:21,102 --> 00:19:23,371
- She used to be an enka singer.
- What?
367
00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:24,839
Here.
368
00:19:27,809 --> 00:19:32,814
-"Crying on Asakusa Kokusai Street 2."
- Part two was more popular than the first.
369
00:19:32,814 --> 00:19:36,284
His father's a top comedian,
his brother's a genius rakugoka,
370
00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:38,353
and his wife was a famous singer.
371
00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:41,356
No wonder his stress is building up.
372
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:42,924
Did you finish practicing?
373
00:19:51,299 --> 00:19:53,668
Stop it...
374
00:19:53,668 --> 00:19:56,871
Why not? I had to wait for half a year!
375
00:19:56,871 --> 00:20:01,610
No! It'll wake up Saya,
and I still have to feed Taro.
376
00:20:04,846 --> 00:20:07,849
I get it. You don't want
to sleep with the most hated celebrity.
377
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:10,752
- What?
- I get it.
378
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,090
You don't want to sleep
with a man no one wants to sleep with.
379
00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:20,295
And no one wants to sleep
with a woman who slept with such a man.
380
00:20:20,829 --> 00:20:23,999
In other words, the only man
who would sleep with that woman...
381
00:20:23,999 --> 00:20:26,001
Is the man that no one
wants to sleep with.
382
00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:28,270
What are you talking about?
383
00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:30,005
I don't know...
384
00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:33,108
I really don't know anymore. Damn.
385
00:20:33,842 --> 00:20:36,878
Ryu-chan, you should rest.
386
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,347
You have seven shows right now.
387
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,417
You're in too many programs.
388
00:20:42,417 --> 00:20:44,085
Why don't you reduce them?
389
00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:46,254
Tsuru-chan...
390
00:20:46,254 --> 00:20:48,957
I got a call from my old producer.
391
00:20:49,658 --> 00:20:51,860
He asked me
if I wanted to make a comeback.
392
00:20:53,161 --> 00:20:54,796
Of course, I can't do it immediately,
393
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:59,100
but since Mother has agreed
to look after the children...
394
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:00,468
You know?
395
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,038
I'm going to bed.
396
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,340
Hey!
397
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:07,909
Ryu-chan!
398
00:21:10,245 --> 00:21:12,614
Can I move on to the main issue?
399
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,984
Then what was all this talk up till now?
400
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:16,885
An introduction?
401
00:21:16,885 --> 00:21:17,819
Maybe I...
402
00:21:19,387 --> 00:21:21,122
I really like...
403
00:21:22,457 --> 00:21:23,658
I mean,
404
00:21:24,192 --> 00:21:27,729
I told you I'd tell you
when I really liked someone, right?
405
00:21:27,729 --> 00:21:29,497
I've been thinking about it,
406
00:21:30,265 --> 00:21:31,099
and I think...
407
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:33,702
I've really fallen in love.
408
00:21:34,369 --> 00:21:36,538
Why are you telling me all this?
409
00:21:38,073 --> 00:21:38,907
Oh, wait.
410
00:21:38,907 --> 00:21:41,276
Do you like Megumi?
411
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:43,611
You scared me. I thought it was me!
412
00:21:43,611 --> 00:21:46,748
- Are you crazy?
- Then don't tell me. Tell her!
413
00:21:47,816 --> 00:21:50,618
Why is she here? I told you to come alone!
414
00:21:50,618 --> 00:21:53,121
I had no choice!
She wouldn't budge! I'll get her.
415
00:21:53,121 --> 00:21:54,556
No! Don't!
416
00:21:54,556 --> 00:21:55,957
She's waiting in the car
417
00:21:55,957 --> 00:21:58,626
just because you told her so.
I don't stand a chance.
418
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:05,834
"I'll be waiting at the office - Hyuga"
419
00:22:06,568 --> 00:22:08,370
Why's he texting like a chick?
420
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:09,337
I have to go.
421
00:22:09,337 --> 00:22:10,171
What?
422
00:22:10,171 --> 00:22:11,406
Watch my car.
423
00:22:11,406 --> 00:22:12,374
Just watch it.
424
00:22:15,510 --> 00:22:16,678
Nice to meet you!
425
00:22:17,245 --> 00:22:19,114
We've met before!
426
00:22:19,114 --> 00:22:23,385
Sorry. Your face isn't very memorable,
so it didn't leave an impression.
427
00:22:24,953 --> 00:22:27,756
Come over here and say that again.
428
00:22:28,256 --> 00:22:29,791
Don't try to hide it.
429
00:22:29,791 --> 00:22:31,793
What did the boss tell you to do?
430
00:22:33,828 --> 00:22:34,929
Well...
431
00:22:35,764 --> 00:22:37,632
at the wedding party...
432
00:22:37,632 --> 00:22:39,033
Cause an uproar?
433
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:40,568
Not an uproar.
434
00:22:41,836 --> 00:22:43,505
Just a "happening."
435
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:47,375
How petty of him.
436
00:22:48,109 --> 00:22:49,177
So what's the plan?
437
00:22:50,111 --> 00:22:51,079
Plan?
438
00:22:51,946 --> 00:22:54,249
But I can't betray you.
You're the one who took me in.
439
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,986
But if you side with me,
the boss will lose face.
440
00:22:59,354 --> 00:23:00,855
So it's about saving face.
441
00:23:00,855 --> 00:23:02,957
Her parents are very strict people!
442
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:07,128
It took me, a 100% yakuza,
six months to persuade them!
443
00:23:07,629 --> 00:23:10,698
I did it because I wanted
to choose my life partner myself!
444
00:23:10,698 --> 00:23:12,400
Hey, Tora!
445
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,134
Yes, sir!
446
00:23:13,134 --> 00:23:14,502
Look at me!
447
00:23:15,637 --> 00:23:17,238
Don't you have a good plan?
448
00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:19,107
A good plan?
449
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:22,010
I want daikon, a boiled egg,
and a chikuwabu fish cake!
450
00:23:22,010 --> 00:23:25,213
Daikon, boiled egg, and chikuwabu?
451
00:23:25,213 --> 00:23:26,648
What about hanpen fish cake?
452
00:23:26,648 --> 00:23:27,649
That, too!
453
00:23:27,649 --> 00:23:31,152
What do you want,
juicy hanpen or puffy hanpen!
454
00:23:31,152 --> 00:23:33,488
Puffy hanpen!
455
00:23:33,488 --> 00:23:34,722
Just get out of the car!
456
00:23:34,722 --> 00:23:38,092
- But it's cold.
- Aren't you from Aomori?
457
00:23:42,564 --> 00:23:44,165
It's so cold!
458
00:23:44,165 --> 00:23:46,000
She's like a king crab!
459
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,635
- Are you drunk?
- No, I'm not!
460
00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:49,070
Maybe I am!
461
00:23:50,071 --> 00:23:52,807
Why don't you sit down?
462
00:23:54,542 --> 00:23:59,113
She's too tall for me.
I don't think I can win.
463
00:23:59,113 --> 00:24:01,549
{\an8}ODEN
464
00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:05,119
It's so cold!
465
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:10,325
It'll get warmer
after you drink and eat a bit.
466
00:24:10,925 --> 00:24:13,962
Do you think Tora-volta
will get jealous if he sees us?
467
00:24:13,962 --> 00:24:15,363
So you call him Tora-volta?
468
00:24:15,363 --> 00:24:16,264
I don't.
469
00:24:16,998 --> 00:24:18,399
Let's eat!
470
00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:23,905
Am I...
471
00:24:24,906 --> 00:24:27,208
that unmemorable?
472
00:24:28,443 --> 00:24:29,277
Huh?
473
00:24:29,777 --> 00:24:33,081
I'd rather be hated than be forgotten.
474
00:24:33,081 --> 00:24:36,551
I'm the younger brother of the celebrity
no one wants to sleep with, after all.
475
00:24:40,088 --> 00:24:40,922
Sorry!
476
00:24:41,723 --> 00:24:45,126
Let me tell you, it takes me
a while before I get to the point.
477
00:24:46,227 --> 00:24:48,496
Remember when you dissed
my clothes at Shibuya?
478
00:24:48,496 --> 00:24:52,300
I was so pissed off, I hunted you down.
479
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:56,804
Since I was among all these other guys,
my face wouldn't have made an impression.
480
00:24:57,739 --> 00:25:02,477
But if I had zero feelings for you,
I wouldn't have gone through all that.
481
00:25:04,145 --> 00:25:05,446
Oh! That's right!
482
00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:07,048
Look.
483
00:25:09,684 --> 00:25:10,518
I haven't...
484
00:25:11,653 --> 00:25:12,687
gotten rid of it yet.
485
00:25:13,922 --> 00:25:16,758
Not that I have
the money to get rid of it anyway,
486
00:25:17,425 --> 00:25:21,029
but I just couldn't give you up,
487
00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:25,199
as if I left a story unfinished...
488
00:25:29,671 --> 00:25:32,040
Sorry, you probably wouldn't understand.
489
00:25:35,643 --> 00:25:37,345
Well...
490
00:25:37,979 --> 00:25:39,547
Well...
491
00:25:40,949 --> 00:25:41,783
Ryuji?
492
00:25:43,518 --> 00:25:47,188
Right, Ryuji.
You must be very kind-hearted.
493
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,491
Really?
494
00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:54,195
You know, girls like me who are
495
00:25:54,195 --> 00:25:56,331
from the countryside are...
496
00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:00,935
- Um...
- Ryuji.
497
00:26:02,804 --> 00:26:06,307
We're attracted
to kind men like you, Ryuji.
498
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:12,246
However, we're also
attracted to cold men like Torachi.
499
00:26:13,247 --> 00:26:14,182
Even though...
500
00:26:16,150 --> 00:26:17,819
- Um...
- Ryuji!
501
00:26:18,553 --> 00:26:22,924
Though we should go out
with guys like you, Ryuji.
502
00:26:24,892 --> 00:26:26,294
Well...
503
00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:28,429
It's Ryuji! You're doing that on purpose!
504
00:26:28,429 --> 00:26:31,499
You're really good at criticizing.
505
00:26:31,499 --> 00:26:34,669
That's not really a compliment!
506
00:26:35,436 --> 00:26:37,538
Can I say something mind-blowing?
507
00:26:37,538 --> 00:26:38,473
Huh?
508
00:26:39,107 --> 00:26:44,445
Tora-chan and Ryuji.
You are "Tiger and Dragon"!
509
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:46,648
Yeah.
510
00:26:47,281 --> 00:26:49,050
That's why you get along so well!
511
00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:51,486
See? Aren't I awesome?
512
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:56,124
Yeah, you are.
I know you're awesome, so please shut up!
513
00:26:56,124 --> 00:26:58,459
Shut up and listen to what I have to say!
514
00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,328
Yes, sir.
515
00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:14,642
Did I fall asleep?
516
00:27:14,642 --> 00:27:17,979
- Stay asleep!
- I had a dream that I peed my pants.
517
00:27:19,814 --> 00:27:21,916
Oh no! I did pee!
518
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:25,053
I'm going home now.
I have to go to work early.
519
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,587
I had fun!
520
00:27:29,757 --> 00:27:31,325
I had fun too.
521
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,595
Let's drink together again.
522
00:27:34,595 --> 00:27:35,496
Okay.
523
00:27:40,902 --> 00:27:41,736
Your number...
524
00:27:43,471 --> 00:27:44,639
Get it from Tora-chan!
525
00:27:47,975 --> 00:27:49,377
How can I, you fool?
526
00:27:52,013 --> 00:27:53,548
DONKICHI
527
00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:56,517
Hayashiyate Donkichi
has become a headliner!
528
00:27:57,418 --> 00:28:00,121
- It's his first show!
- Why are you in such low spirits?
529
00:28:00,121 --> 00:28:00,888
Move.
530
00:28:02,824 --> 00:28:06,260
This is an important show!
Where did Donta go?
531
00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:08,896
- Maybe he ran away.
- He looks down on us.
532
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:11,099
He's a TV celebrity, after all.
533
00:28:11,099 --> 00:28:14,402
Why, welcome, everyone.
534
00:28:15,203 --> 00:28:16,804
You know what?
535
00:28:16,804 --> 00:28:21,476
None of my pupils would ever
do something like run away before a show.
536
00:28:21,476 --> 00:28:23,644
No matter how bad they are,
537
00:28:23,644 --> 00:28:29,250
I've taught them to be responsible
and do their very best on stage!
538
00:28:31,152 --> 00:28:33,121
Calm down, master!
539
00:28:33,121 --> 00:28:35,656
Calm down?
This is your first headlining show!
540
00:28:35,656 --> 00:28:38,893
Don't tell me to calm down!
My nose is bleeding.
541
00:28:41,496 --> 00:28:45,399
Donta's missing. He's the opening act,
but he still hasn't shown up.
542
00:28:45,399 --> 00:28:47,702
Do you have any idea
where he might be hiding?
543
00:28:47,702 --> 00:28:49,637
{\an8}DONTA
544
00:28:51,339 --> 00:28:55,343
Five minutes left! Udon, strike the drum!
545
00:28:55,343 --> 00:28:56,511
Yes, sir.
546
00:28:57,044 --> 00:29:00,748
It's the drum for the first act!
Who'll go on stage?
547
00:29:00,748 --> 00:29:01,649
I will!
548
00:29:01,649 --> 00:29:02,750
No, idiot! Stop!
549
00:29:02,750 --> 00:29:06,454
- Idiot?
- Forgive me. It's my fault.
550
00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:08,723
I've memorized about 80%...
551
00:29:08,723 --> 00:29:10,291
Well, 60% of "Manju Kowai."
552
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:14,162
Wait. 60%? Only 60%? Let's not do this.
553
00:29:14,162 --> 00:29:16,063
- Why not?
- Let's not do this.
554
00:29:16,063 --> 00:29:17,131
I'll go up.
555
00:29:17,131 --> 00:29:21,169
No! If you go first,
who will do the finale?
556
00:29:21,769 --> 00:29:23,304
I'll go.
557
00:29:27,608 --> 00:29:28,776
Tsuruko?
558
00:29:34,582 --> 00:29:35,650
Tsuru-chan?
559
00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:40,154
Goodness, it's Sensouji Tsuruko!
560
00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:42,824
Tsuru-chan!
561
00:29:43,391 --> 00:29:45,126
They love her!
562
00:29:45,126 --> 00:29:46,427
Let's go!
563
00:29:47,595 --> 00:29:51,699
I went to Senso-ji to look for you
564
00:29:53,234 --> 00:29:57,438
Took the aquatic bus to the Sumida River
565
00:29:59,373 --> 00:30:04,178
From Azuma Bridge to Kappa Bridge
566
00:30:04,178 --> 00:30:05,012
KAPPA BRIDGE STREET
567
00:30:05,012 --> 00:30:09,584
From Rokku Nakamise to Hanayashiki...
568
00:30:10,918 --> 00:30:11,919
Donta!
569
00:30:11,919 --> 00:30:12,687
HANAYASHIKI
570
00:30:13,287 --> 00:30:19,160
My dear, my dear, my Donta
571
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:23,097
My dear, my dear, my Donta
572
00:30:23,097 --> 00:30:23,998
Did you find him?
573
00:30:23,998 --> 00:30:27,568
No. I looked all over Asakusa,
but I couldn't find him.
574
00:30:28,302 --> 00:30:30,204
There's only one more
place I can think of.
575
00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:31,806
- Where?
- Right there.
576
00:30:31,806 --> 00:30:38,846
Crying and looking for you,
all over Kokusai-dori
577
00:30:47,655 --> 00:30:48,522
Bro...
578
00:30:54,962 --> 00:30:56,063
What're you going to do?
579
00:30:56,964 --> 00:31:01,035
You nearly ruined
Donkichi's first headline!
580
00:31:01,602 --> 00:31:05,673
You should be expelled
for your ludicrous antics today.
581
00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:07,441
Maybe this career doesn't suit you.
582
00:31:08,242 --> 00:31:10,745
- Maybe you should stick to TV work.
- Wait a minute!
583
00:31:12,546 --> 00:31:17,685
- In his heart, he wants to do rakugo.
- You've left, so stay out of it!
584
00:31:17,685 --> 00:31:20,154
Are you going to kick him out
like you did to me?
585
00:31:20,154 --> 00:31:21,856
Ryuhei is not like you!
586
00:31:21,856 --> 00:31:23,391
He has a wife and two kids.
587
00:31:23,391 --> 00:31:25,826
That's exactly
why you shouldn't expel him!
588
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,763
You can do classic rakugo
when you're older.
589
00:31:29,864 --> 00:31:31,632
You think it's so easy?
590
00:31:31,632 --> 00:31:32,900
You've got to be kidding!
591
00:31:33,601 --> 00:31:37,738
What do you think rakugo is? You think
it's so easy to start when you're old?
592
00:31:37,738 --> 00:31:40,808
I performed classic rakugo
ever since I was young.
593
00:31:40,808 --> 00:31:42,510
Has my life been a waste of time?
594
00:31:43,377 --> 00:31:45,046
Ridiculous!
595
00:31:46,013 --> 00:31:47,782
Don't talk big because you're young!
596
00:31:47,782 --> 00:31:51,819
What you're doing
is just finding an easy way out of things!
597
00:31:51,819 --> 00:31:56,624
Making clothes, starring on TV...
you're just wasting your lives away!
598
00:31:57,224 --> 00:32:00,795
You have no experience, yet you think
you can do it when you are older?
599
00:32:00,795 --> 00:32:02,697
Who said I wanted to do rakugo?
600
00:32:04,365 --> 00:32:07,335
Who wants that crap anyway,
you stupid old man!
601
00:32:08,269 --> 00:32:10,504
Nobody's going
to follow in your footsteps!
602
00:32:11,038 --> 00:32:14,909
As long as you keep being so arrogant,
no one will inherit your rakugo name!
603
00:32:14,909 --> 00:32:19,246
Watch how you talk to your father,
you punk!
604
00:32:19,246 --> 00:32:22,650
I don't even know if you're
my father or my teacher! Damn it!
605
00:32:23,951 --> 00:32:25,586
- What was that for?
- Stop it.
606
00:32:26,454 --> 00:32:27,521
This is my problem.
607
00:32:28,055 --> 00:32:32,159
The angrier you get,
the harder it is for me to take.
608
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,627
Honey...
609
00:32:34,528 --> 00:32:36,764
Please forgive me for what I did today.
610
00:32:37,498 --> 00:32:40,735
Tsuruko, Donkichi, I'm terribly sorry.
611
00:32:42,003 --> 00:32:43,137
But...
612
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:49,977
But please, give me
some time to think about my future.
613
00:32:53,881 --> 00:32:54,715
And...
614
00:32:55,916 --> 00:32:57,051
Mother's crying.
615
00:32:57,051 --> 00:32:57,985
What?
616
00:32:58,753 --> 00:33:00,087
Oh.
617
00:33:00,087 --> 00:33:02,723
I'm so sorry, Sayuri-chan.
618
00:33:02,723 --> 00:33:07,628
I keep telling you not to make her cry!
619
00:33:07,628 --> 00:33:12,533
You're not crying because of me, right?
620
00:33:13,134 --> 00:33:15,503
I'm asking you if it's because of me!
621
00:33:20,107 --> 00:33:21,375
Hey, Ryuji!
622
00:33:29,817 --> 00:33:33,254
That was pretty awful.
Sorry you had to see that.
623
00:33:34,989 --> 00:33:35,823
No.
624
00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:37,992
It wasn't awful at all.
625
00:33:40,895 --> 00:33:44,165
You're probably going
to criticize me for being too blunt again.
626
00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:48,235
But there's something great
627
00:33:51,572 --> 00:33:52,740
about parents and kids.
628
00:33:54,608 --> 00:33:56,043
You really are blunt.
629
00:33:56,043 --> 00:33:58,913
Rakugo is interesting,
but so is the family dynamic.
630
00:33:59,814 --> 00:34:03,017
I have experience
in neither rakugo nor family,
631
00:34:04,485 --> 00:34:07,054
so I'm learning all about it
from your old man.
632
00:34:10,024 --> 00:34:11,125
So, Ryuji...
633
00:34:12,726 --> 00:34:13,561
What?
634
00:34:15,963 --> 00:34:17,331
Come back again,
635
00:34:18,232 --> 00:34:20,835
and show me a whole
bunch of this kind of stuff.
636
00:34:23,871 --> 00:34:27,007
I'll never have a chance against you.
637
00:34:27,007 --> 00:34:28,242
What do you mean?
638
00:34:29,210 --> 00:34:30,778
It's what Megumi said.
639
00:34:30,778 --> 00:34:32,046
What?
640
00:34:32,046 --> 00:34:33,581
She said that you and I are
641
00:34:34,982 --> 00:34:36,117
a tiger and--
642
00:34:36,117 --> 00:34:37,685
- Hello?
- Why get it now?
643
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,521
What will you do, Tora?
644
00:34:41,455 --> 00:34:43,824
- The wedding party's next week.
- I know.
645
00:34:43,824 --> 00:34:46,994
It's what the boss has been telling me.
646
00:34:49,230 --> 00:34:51,165
Maybe I should postpone it.
647
00:34:51,732 --> 00:34:54,301
- What?
- No, you should stick to the schedule.
648
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:56,470
I'll try to get my dad to calm down.
649
00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:59,807
No, I can't impose upon you guys.
650
00:35:01,275 --> 00:35:02,710
What are you doing?
651
00:35:02,710 --> 00:35:04,078
This...
652
00:35:21,028 --> 00:35:23,731
Tiger, tiger, jirettaiga!
653
00:35:27,301 --> 00:35:30,070
Well, Edo natives...
654
00:35:30,070 --> 00:35:31,272
He's telling "Manju Kowai."
655
00:35:32,206 --> 00:35:33,040
Yes.
656
00:35:33,974 --> 00:35:35,676
I'm going to tell "Manju Kowai."
657
00:35:40,748 --> 00:35:43,717
Around the Shinjuku, Kabuki-cho area,
658
00:35:44,218 --> 00:35:45,986
there once was a yakuza lieutenant
659
00:35:45,986 --> 00:35:48,522
who was both attractive and smart.
660
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:53,294
One day, however, he decided
to wed a very young woman,
661
00:35:53,827 --> 00:35:56,330
which caused a big problem.
662
00:35:56,330 --> 00:36:01,335
The lieutenant had been in
a relationship with his boss's daughter.
663
00:36:01,335 --> 00:36:04,238
The boss wanted to teach a lesson
664
00:36:04,238 --> 00:36:06,574
to the yakuza who abandoned his daughter,
665
00:36:06,574 --> 00:36:08,909
so he thought very hard,
to come up with a plan.
666
00:36:08,909 --> 00:36:11,111
Why is this person famous?
667
00:36:11,111 --> 00:36:12,580
{\an8}A HUNDRED THINGS
YOU SHOULDN'T DO AT A WEDDING
668
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,483
Isn't he one of the Yanaka boys?
669
00:36:16,483 --> 00:36:18,519
His jokes are super lame.
670
00:36:19,086 --> 00:36:20,821
Women especially hate him.
671
00:36:21,989 --> 00:36:23,657
How pathetic.
672
00:36:24,158 --> 00:36:26,327
Hyuga's new wife really hates him, too.
673
00:36:27,461 --> 00:36:29,296
She's creeped out by him.
674
00:36:29,296 --> 00:36:32,933
His face makes her want
to throw up and go into a seizure.
675
00:36:32,933 --> 00:36:36,503
"Really? What great news!"
676
00:36:36,503 --> 00:36:39,840
So he called in the gangsters
and cooked up a plan.
677
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,875
Apparently,
678
00:36:43,410 --> 00:36:45,512
Hyuga's chick hates Donta.
679
00:36:45,512 --> 00:36:46,580
Is that so?
680
00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,649
Well, he is disliked across the country.
681
00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:50,918
So I thought,
682
00:36:51,552 --> 00:36:55,856
why not invite Donta to
the wedding party to spice things up?
683
00:36:55,856 --> 00:36:57,324
What?
684
00:36:57,324 --> 00:37:00,060
That would definitely cause a scene!
685
00:37:00,060 --> 00:37:02,129
It'll be quite a party, don't you think?
686
00:37:03,397 --> 00:37:04,431
{\an8}COMPLETE MANUAL TO FINDING A JOB
687
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:05,566
A wedding party?
688
00:37:05,566 --> 00:37:09,670
That's right. I'm indebted to him,
so I can't turn him down.
689
00:37:10,471 --> 00:37:12,606
No problem, but are you sure they want me?
690
00:37:13,407 --> 00:37:14,842
Wouldn't Donkichi be better?
691
00:37:14,842 --> 00:37:17,478
No! It's got to be you!
692
00:37:19,013 --> 00:37:20,848
It has to be you!
693
00:37:21,782 --> 00:37:26,320
This entertainer...
His name is Anrakutei Bonta,
694
00:37:26,820 --> 00:37:29,290
and he was famous
for being disliked all around Edo,
695
00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:32,793
Although being so disliked
shows how famous is.
696
00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:34,862
Still, he had his worries.
697
00:37:36,030 --> 00:37:40,634
So he went to his younger brother,
the shopkeeper Ryu, to get help.
698
00:37:40,634 --> 00:37:42,202
Can you teach me rakugo?
699
00:37:42,202 --> 00:37:43,370
Seriously?
700
00:37:43,370 --> 00:37:45,639
Yeah, teach me a classy one.
701
00:37:46,173 --> 00:37:46,974
Please!
702
00:37:46,974 --> 00:37:50,844
By now, some of you may
have guessed how the story will go.
703
00:37:52,913 --> 00:37:54,982
What? Donta's here?
704
00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:57,651
He's here!
I want to take a picture with him!
705
00:37:57,651 --> 00:38:00,354
She was what you would call a "maniac."
706
00:38:00,354 --> 00:38:03,357
When you see Donta,
you have to pretend to hate him.
707
00:38:03,357 --> 00:38:05,125
Why? It doesn't make sense!
708
00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:07,127
- Because...
- He's a total masochist!
709
00:38:07,127 --> 00:38:07,961
Masochist?
710
00:38:08,462 --> 00:38:11,332
The meaner you treat him,
the funnier his performance will be!
711
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:12,566
What the heck?
712
00:38:12,566 --> 00:38:13,400
Wait!
713
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,804
- No! Let go!
- Please.
714
00:38:18,205 --> 00:38:19,440
I'll tell you the truth.
715
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,542
Bonta had no clue what was going on.
716
00:38:22,242 --> 00:38:25,346
Toshiko! Your marriage... Don, don!
717
00:38:25,346 --> 00:38:28,315
No Don-Dons!
You're supposed to tell a classy rakugo.
718
00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:31,485
Something's going to happen today.
719
00:38:33,454 --> 00:38:34,288
A "happening"!
720
00:38:34,288 --> 00:38:39,026
Now, this is time
for a special guest performance!
721
00:38:39,026 --> 00:38:41,095
He's someone you've seen on TV.
722
00:38:41,095 --> 00:38:43,997
Please give a round of applause
for Mr. Hayashiyate Donta!
723
00:38:45,199 --> 00:38:46,967
Donta!
724
00:38:50,104 --> 00:38:52,373
Thank you, and congratulations!
725
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:54,641
No!
726
00:38:54,641 --> 00:38:56,744
No!
727
00:38:57,578 --> 00:38:58,779
Thank you very much!
728
00:39:00,013 --> 00:39:03,817
Today, I will perform a rakugo,
something I've never done on TV...
729
00:39:03,817 --> 00:39:05,386
No!
730
00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:09,556
One person in the audience seems to hate...
731
00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:10,724
Just go on!
732
00:39:12,659 --> 00:39:15,362
A long time ago,
when this city was known as Edo...
733
00:39:15,362 --> 00:39:16,830
No!
734
00:39:16,830 --> 00:39:17,831
I can't hear him!
735
00:39:17,831 --> 00:39:19,466
Toshiko, yell even louder!
736
00:39:20,701 --> 00:39:23,637
Donta's gross!
737
00:39:24,304 --> 00:39:27,541
Donta's gross!
738
00:39:27,541 --> 00:39:29,943
Gross!
739
00:39:29,943 --> 00:39:31,845
Gross!
740
00:39:31,845 --> 00:39:33,680
Gross!
741
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,417
- More.
- Donta's the worst!
742
00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:37,317
More!
743
00:39:37,317 --> 00:39:41,155
I really hate Donta!
744
00:39:41,155 --> 00:39:43,357
Strip, Donta!
745
00:39:43,357 --> 00:39:44,525
Don't do it, Donta!
746
00:39:44,525 --> 00:39:45,759
All right, I stripped!
747
00:39:45,759 --> 00:39:48,529
Don don don! Dontagon!
748
00:39:50,764 --> 00:39:53,801
Stop! Bride!
749
00:39:55,235 --> 00:39:56,670
Just watch.
750
00:39:56,670 --> 00:39:59,973
By now, nothing could stop Bonta.
751
00:40:00,474 --> 00:40:01,942
Like a fish out of water, no...
752
00:40:01,942 --> 00:40:05,813
More like water spewing from a broken dam,
he went nuts!
753
00:40:07,314 --> 00:40:08,949
This is my real job!
754
00:40:09,483 --> 00:40:10,851
Stop right there!
755
00:40:10,851 --> 00:40:11,919
No!
756
00:40:11,919 --> 00:40:12,853
No!
757
00:40:12,853 --> 00:40:13,954
Is it here?
758
00:40:13,954 --> 00:40:15,155
Is it here?
759
00:40:15,155 --> 00:40:15,923
I'm going in!
760
00:40:16,423 --> 00:40:19,793
I'm going to poke the bride in the butt!
761
00:40:21,161 --> 00:40:23,430
Admiral, I have finished poking her!
762
00:40:23,430 --> 00:40:26,200
Good! Now, attack the groom's crotch!
763
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,000
Understood!
764
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,336
Ready, set, dick!
765
00:40:31,171 --> 00:40:33,474
Well, the fleet has fallen silent.
766
00:40:33,474 --> 00:40:36,343
Don! Don! Don Chaka Khan!
767
00:40:36,343 --> 00:40:38,078
This is outrageous!
768
00:40:38,946 --> 00:40:42,082
Daddy, are you sure she's scared of him?
769
00:40:43,584 --> 00:40:44,518
Damn!
770
00:40:45,452 --> 00:40:47,721
Congratulations, congratul-titanic!
771
00:40:47,721 --> 00:40:49,556
She's actually enjoying this!
772
00:40:49,556 --> 00:40:51,291
What's going on here, Ginjiro?
773
00:40:52,559 --> 00:40:54,027
Say something, idiot!
774
00:40:54,728 --> 00:40:55,562
Well?
775
00:40:55,562 --> 00:40:58,599
I get it. It's "Manju Kowai!"
776
00:41:02,836 --> 00:41:06,473
Donta, you're so gross.
You're the grossest!
777
00:41:07,407 --> 00:41:10,978
"How dare you trick me?"
778
00:41:10,978 --> 00:41:12,913
-"What do you mean?"
-"Don't play dumb!"
779
00:41:12,913 --> 00:41:15,349
"She's pretending
to hate him but is having fun!"
780
00:41:15,349 --> 00:41:16,783
You.
781
00:41:18,285 --> 00:41:19,820
You're Donta's fan, right?
782
00:41:19,820 --> 00:41:23,657
- No way! I hate him!
- Don't lie!
783
00:41:26,393 --> 00:41:27,628
Then tell me...
784
00:41:28,595 --> 00:41:30,531
what else you hate!
785
00:41:31,198 --> 00:41:32,599
Well,
786
00:41:34,067 --> 00:41:39,306
I hate houses with gardens,
kitchens with German appliances,
787
00:41:39,306 --> 00:41:41,642
and plasma TVs.
788
00:41:42,976 --> 00:41:45,212
Excuse me.
789
00:41:59,192 --> 00:42:01,562
I see. I'll buy them for you.
790
00:42:05,032 --> 00:42:08,101
Thank you very much, sir!
791
00:42:11,171 --> 00:42:14,007
I was so scared!
792
00:42:14,608 --> 00:42:18,278
"I also hate cute little babies!"
793
00:42:18,845 --> 00:42:20,647
"Take care of that one yourselves!"
794
00:42:30,457 --> 00:42:35,095
Good job, Tora-chan! Bow-wow!
795
00:42:41,101 --> 00:42:44,671
Here's your cola float!
796
00:42:44,671 --> 00:42:48,075
Hey, I think you did a pretty good job.
797
00:42:48,075 --> 00:42:51,178
Really? Thank you very much, sir!
798
00:42:51,178 --> 00:42:55,482
- Here's this month's lesson fee.
- Okay.
799
00:42:57,584 --> 00:42:59,586
There's nothing I hate more than money!
800
00:43:00,654 --> 00:43:02,222
- What?
- Not really.
801
00:43:02,222 --> 00:43:06,293
That Anrakutei Bonta
in your story was my Donta, wasn't it?
802
00:43:06,293 --> 00:43:09,696
And that shopkeeper Ryu is...
803
00:43:09,696 --> 00:43:11,932
Sorry, I can't disclose that information.
804
00:43:11,932 --> 00:43:14,134
Why not?
805
00:43:20,607 --> 00:43:22,709
- This month's payment.
- I was just about to...
806
00:43:22,709 --> 00:43:24,044
You forgot the envelope!
807
00:43:24,044 --> 00:43:27,414
I'm sorry! Can I just give it to you!
808
00:43:27,414 --> 00:43:29,383
{\an8}DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
809
00:43:29,383 --> 00:43:31,218
Apparently, nothing has changed.
810
00:43:31,218 --> 00:43:33,854
Well, at least he's got more confidence.
811
00:43:35,956 --> 00:43:38,558
Now the main topic...
812
00:43:38,558 --> 00:43:40,427
Again?
813
00:43:40,961 --> 00:43:41,662
What?
814
00:43:41,662 --> 00:43:45,198
The other night,
I got to spend some time with Megumi.
815
00:43:45,198 --> 00:43:47,901
We promised to see each other again,
816
00:43:49,069 --> 00:43:52,839
so I need to ask you for her phone number...
817
00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:54,174
Are you even listening?
818
00:43:54,741 --> 00:43:55,575
Look!
819
00:43:59,146 --> 00:44:00,147
There's something...
820
00:44:01,148 --> 00:44:03,216
unusual about him.
821
00:44:03,216 --> 00:44:05,152
He's not an ordinary guy!
822
00:44:07,954 --> 00:44:11,958
Are you Hayashiyate Kotora?