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{\an8}FASCINATION
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{\an8}MEGUMI
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What are you looking at?
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I'm Megumi, your tour guide for today.
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Let me guide you
through the wonderful world of rakugo.
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Look over here, please.
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Once the curtain-raisers
finish their performances,
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they attend to their master
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and share stories with him.
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That's part of their job, too.
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Did you get a cell phone?
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I did.
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So I want to send Sayuri-chan...
What do you call it?
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E-mail?
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E-mail?
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I want to send her an e-mail.
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Let me do it.
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Really? Thanks.
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"Sayuri, thanks for everything."
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- What's her address?
- Asakusa, Taito-ku...
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- Master did it again!
- You're so funny!
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What's so funny?
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- So what's the address?
- Asakusa...
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Only a few rakugo performers
make a living out of it.
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Those who don't
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work second jobs.
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Bastard! I'll make you pay for this!
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Pay up, or we'll throw you
into Buckingham Palace!
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When one stops performing because
of a setback, it's called retiring.
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Ex-ugly cow!
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If you fold it like this, you can't see
the Tiger and Urahara Dragon!
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Some of them end up choosing
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a career that doesn't suit them at all.
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Don't change it back!
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There are all sorts of difficulties.
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Still, if you'd like to see
a live rakugo performance,
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come to the rakugo theater.
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There are also
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musicals, magic shows,
and stand-up comedy.
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I told you not to smoke while you walk!
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Shut up, idiot, or I'll beat you up!
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Right. Let's get back on track and begin!
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Tiger and Dragon!
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{\an8}UMAYA KAJI EPISODE
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{\an8}Stop gawking, idiot, or I'll beat you up!
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Oh, it's Maruo!
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When did you get out?
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End of last year.
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We should have come to see you sooner.
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I'm glad you're well.
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How's work going?
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He decided to reform himself
and start anew in Tokyo.
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He did?
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I'll have Tora drive you back.
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Oh, and take this.
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Please don't!
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- Congratulations on your new beginning.
- It's really okay.
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- Just take it!
- How could you? Well, thank you so much.
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If he asks you to stop at a liquor store,
ignore him.
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He was in jail for assault
after getting intoxicated.
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How much did he give us?
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70,000 yen.
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Awkward number.
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Should have been 50,000 or 100,000.
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Maybe Ryuseikai is doomed.
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Stop by the convenience store.
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No, Maruo!
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ALCOHOL
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You deaf?
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I said the convenience store.
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I'll stop at the next one.
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What's this?
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Rakugo.
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I'm into it these days.
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Ever been to a rakugo theater?
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It's perfect
for short-tempered people like you.
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You can laugh away your stress there.
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Really?
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Maybe we should try.
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Whatever.
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{\an8}TODAY'S LEAD ACTORS
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{\an8}KAMIGATA MARIMO AND MARUO
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Hello!
We're the Dreams Come True of Naniwa.
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This is Marimo and Maruo!
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- The pretty one is Marimo.
- The dirty one is Maruo.
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Don't you care
about saving your husband's face?
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What the heck are they doing?
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It's manzai!
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They're Kamigata Marimo
and Maruo from Osaka.
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I didn't know they were a manzai duo.
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But what is manzai?
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I realized I had to work harder.
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- Don't try too hard, honey.
- Why not?
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If you were to die...
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If I were to die?
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I'd get insurance money!
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How creepy.
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Save your husband's face!
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As you can see, we're a
manzai duo who are also married.
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But the truth is,
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the marriage is a sham!
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For years,
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we've been sexless!
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- Now...
- We've dried up down here!
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Why don't we do it?
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We both see other people!
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But I do hope he works harder...
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Hold it, idiot!
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It's time for the next story!
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I can't let this one go!
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Who's the guy you're seeing?
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Someone you know well!
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Well, that's okay.
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But I hope he works harder...
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Wait. It is not okay!
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What? We're performing!
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I don't care! Tell me when it happened!
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When you beat up someone
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and got thrown in jail.
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- While I was in the slammer?
- No! After you came out!
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Well, that's okay.
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Let me sing you a song!
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Soft rain falling on Midosuji...
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Of course it's not okay!
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Listen to me first!
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Before you talk,
will you stop knocking me around?
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There's even
a plainclothes cop here today!
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Really? Where? Is it Yamanaka?
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Soft rain falling on Midosuji...
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It's not the time to sing!
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Listen to what I have to say!
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Listen to me patiently today!
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I can't let this one slip!
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Did you have an affair or not?
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- I didn't!
- That's a lie!
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- No, it's not!
- It's a lie!
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- It's true!
- It's a lie!
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- Actually, it's a lie!
- Then it's okay... No!
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You!
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Ow!
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Give me a break.
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We've been an item for 20 years,
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and you can't even
trust your partner, jerk?
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I've never been beaten up like this.
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I'm sorry, my wife! Please forgive me!
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Forgive me!
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When I lie...
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When she lies...
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It shows on my face!
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It shows too much!
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Marimo and Maruo, what a funny couple!
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Thank you very much!
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Sorry
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for making you come along.
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No problem!
It all depends on what I think.
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Getting beautiful nails
and going on a date.
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It's a two-bird-one-stone day.
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It's strange.
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What do you mean?
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We've known each other for half a year.
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- You haven't even held my hand.
- I...
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You sound like the song "Akai Sweet Pea."
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Bad boys are more attractive.
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Now you sound like
"Nagisa no Haikara Ningyo."
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Sometimes I'd like you to take me
somewhere you want to go.
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Then... How about my place?
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Just kidding! What am I saying?
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Where do you live, Ryuji?
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In Aoyama, actually.
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That's cool!
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I've been looking
for a place in Aoyama myself.
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But the rent's so expensive.
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Not if we split it.
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You can be pretty brazen at times,
you know?
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- Let's go!
- Where?
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Your place, where else?
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Seriously?
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Hey!
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Hey!
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Why can't you wait till I get home...
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Thank you for the ride earlier.
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- Master.
- What?
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Not you. These two.
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May I shake your hand?
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You guys were hilarious!
It was impressive!
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I've never seen manzai before,
and it was awesome.
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The force, the speed...
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If I had seen manzai,
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I might have become your pupil!
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Who writes your skit?
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No one.
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That's just a lovers' quarrel!
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They've done it for 20 years!
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Shut your trap, broccoli!
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I'll beat you!
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Forgive me!
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What are you doing here anyway?
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Kotora, Sayuri-chan and I were
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their marriage officiants.
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- Marimo used to be my kouta student.
- I see.
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The first time he got arrested,
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I asked your boss to pay for his bail.
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The first time?
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He was arrested three times.
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- Right, Maruo?
- Shut up.
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He's really strong! He used to be a boxer.
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I see, professional entertainers
like you and my master
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all have messed-up private lives.
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He included you, master!
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You're too serious.
You lack a certain flair.
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You gotta have an affair
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to make your comic act sexier!
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Don't give him crazy advices!
He might do it.
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It's true.
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- I nearly called an escort service!
- Idiot!
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Maruo, you better be good to Marimo!
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- Don't worry. He's a reformed man.
- Did you really quit?
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Yes.
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Not a drop for a year and a half.
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What?
221
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,278
- Kotora!
- Be considerate!
222
00:10:03,278 --> 00:10:07,049
Your place rocks!
223
00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,984
Sorry. That is the Swedish embassy.
224
00:10:11,954 --> 00:10:13,555
It's rather cute!
225
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:22,731
I didn't expect this traditional style!
226
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Wow! You have a whole house to yourself?
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Where is it?
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Where is it?
229
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Take your shoes off here.
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Here?
231
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How much is the rent?
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65,000 yen.
233
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:18,821
It's high, but it's Aoyama, after all.
234
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,258
- You don't have a bath.
- Of course, it's Aoyama.
235
00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:27,996
I smell something complicated... Like curry.
236
00:11:27,996 --> 00:11:29,998
Still, it's Aoyama!
237
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I feel you're trying
to distance yourself from me.
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No, I'm not!
It's just more ordinary than I expected.
239
00:11:39,141 --> 00:11:41,443
Wait, that's not my property.
240
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Welcome to Yanaka Ryuji's castle!
241
00:11:52,354 --> 00:11:53,422
Won't you join me?
242
00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:59,027
Megumi! Why are you here? What is it?
243
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Awesome! Megumi-chan is in my room!
244
00:12:01,864 --> 00:12:03,632
Want some sparkling wine?
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Do you live together?
246
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No!
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I rent the space from him!
7,000 yen a month!
248
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So, this is mine.
249
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Do you want to see my new designs?
250
00:12:15,144 --> 00:12:17,880
- You ate my pudding again!
- I didn't!
251
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I don't mind you licking up
the powdered cream,
252
00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,551
but put it back when you're done!
253
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The 65 yen I left here is gone!
254
00:12:26,755 --> 00:12:29,958
- Where is it?
- I don't know! Maybe it was Ryu-san.
255
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,561
It wasn't me! It was Ryuji!
256
00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:35,364
Ryu-san won't do that!
He's not like Ryuji!
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00:12:35,364 --> 00:12:36,899
Ryu-san is an honest man!
258
00:12:36,899 --> 00:12:37,966
Right?
259
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:42,871
He sends money to his family in China.
Next time, I'll call the cops!
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Huh?
261
00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:49,044
Wait, Megumi-chan! You just got here!
262
00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:50,846
Oh, you don't like sparkling wine.
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00:12:50,846 --> 00:12:52,881
- I'm sorry.
- Let go!
264
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:55,551
Megumi-chan...
265
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,987
I'm sorry, Ryuji.
266
00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,691
I think it's wonderful
that you pursue your dreams
267
00:13:03,192 --> 00:13:05,828
and insist on your unique style.
268
00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:08,096
But...
269
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:10,632
I don't like being poor!
270
00:13:10,632 --> 00:13:13,402
I just can't stand it!
271
00:13:23,579 --> 00:13:24,947
So that's why he's
272
00:13:25,948 --> 00:13:27,482
like a mummified monk now.
273
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,485
I haven't heard him speak for four days.
274
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:34,389
I can't even talk to him about work.
275
00:13:34,389 --> 00:13:36,491
Ryuji! Cheer up!
276
00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:40,229
I have work for you.
277
00:13:40,229 --> 00:13:41,196
Come in!
278
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,001
It's Maruo.
279
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:46,869
He talked!
280
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:47,769
Hi, Ryuji.
281
00:13:47,769 --> 00:13:50,138
- You know each other?
- Since I was a kid.
282
00:13:50,138 --> 00:13:51,807
Good to know.
283
00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:54,443
Can you whip up a costume for him?
284
00:13:54,443 --> 00:13:57,079
I've recently been
working as their manager.
285
00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:59,715
Will you let them perform at your event?
286
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:03,518
I don't like Kansai-style comedy,
especially the ones
287
00:14:03,518 --> 00:14:05,053
that involve violence.
288
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,323
They're going to be a big hit! Please!
289
00:14:08,323 --> 00:14:11,660
You're a rakugo performer.
Why are you working for them?
290
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:12,794
They're hilarious.
291
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:16,865
Hilarious stuff like that
should be enjoyed by everyone.
292
00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:19,301
It should be shared outside the theater.
293
00:14:19,301 --> 00:14:22,437
Master's rakugo
made me want to quit being a yakuza.
294
00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:23,839
I still haven't, but still...
295
00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:27,042
I thought others
might enjoy what I enjoyed.
296
00:14:30,045 --> 00:14:30,913
Okay.
297
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,015
I'm not busy anyway. When is it?
298
00:14:33,015 --> 00:14:36,618
Next Friday, so you have like ten days.
299
00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:39,855
That's a tight deadline!
I'll make a design today.
300
00:14:39,855 --> 00:14:43,492
I warn you, don't put
lame-ass dragons or zippers on it.
301
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:44,593
It's not lame.
302
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:45,627
It's a Urahara Dragon!
303
00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:47,496
Just make something awesome.
304
00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:49,498
If it's lame,
305
00:14:50,132 --> 00:14:51,133
I'll beat you up.
306
00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:54,670
- I'm leaving.
- How much is this?
307
00:14:56,638 --> 00:14:58,440
- Let's get to work!
- Hey, boss!
308
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,475
Watch the store!
309
00:15:06,548 --> 00:15:07,582
How about this?
310
00:15:07,582 --> 00:15:10,619
I got some great sweet potato shochu!
311
00:15:12,054 --> 00:15:14,556
Just kidding. It's not for you.
312
00:15:14,556 --> 00:15:15,924
You have a gig.
313
00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:17,359
Just in the evening.
314
00:15:17,359 --> 00:15:19,394
So what made you want to do manzai?
315
00:15:19,895 --> 00:15:23,765
- I don't know. It's not like I wanted to.
- You must've had a reason.
316
00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:26,134
What about your parents?
Are you from Osaka?
317
00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:28,937
I'm from Himeji in Hyogo.
318
00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:31,306
No parents.
319
00:15:33,742 --> 00:15:35,077
They're both dead.
320
00:15:36,011 --> 00:15:38,613
My dad ran away from debt collectors.
321
00:15:39,114 --> 00:15:43,218
My mom worked at bars
to make money to raise me.
322
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,357
I'm going to come back late.
Buy something warm to eat.
323
00:15:48,357 --> 00:15:49,791
Forgive me!
324
00:15:49,791 --> 00:15:53,462
I took up boxing
to give her a better life.
325
00:15:53,462 --> 00:15:55,497
Mom! They scheduled my debut match!
326
00:15:57,132 --> 00:16:00,035
Ten days after she passed away,
327
00:16:00,035 --> 00:16:02,738
Dad drove his car into the sea.
328
00:16:03,972 --> 00:16:05,374
The rest is obvious.
329
00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:08,944
I finished middle school
330
00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:13,148
and began working
in cabarets and strip clubs.
331
00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:17,285
When I was 18, I met Marimo, my partner.
332
00:16:18,487 --> 00:16:20,989
We went over to Osaka
and started to do manzai.
333
00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:28,130
Ever since my parents died,
I've been laughing non-stop.
334
00:16:29,798 --> 00:16:34,102
All that mattered in my life
was laughter and making others laugh.
335
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,441
What? You sick?
336
00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:42,611
- I'm crying.
- Why? It's my story.
337
00:16:44,579 --> 00:16:50,552
Our lives are the same,
and then it becomes the total opposite!
338
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:53,789
Maybe it's the cultural difference
between Kanto and Kansai.
339
00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:59,428
Now I like you even more.
I'll work my ass off to get you more gigs!
340
00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:01,763
Here! Have a drink!
341
00:17:06,535 --> 00:17:07,536
It's hot soba broth.
342
00:17:14,509 --> 00:17:21,149
Todays storey is "Umaya Kaji."
com to th theatr as soonas...
343
00:17:21,716 --> 00:17:23,385
He should've spell-checked!
344
00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:24,286
Is it Don-chan?
345
00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:27,422
I don't know what's going on,
but I've got to go.
346
00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:31,059
Ta-chan! Watch him
and make sure he doesn't drink!
347
00:17:31,059 --> 00:17:32,861
Don't worry about him!
348
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:40,502
{\an8}HAYASHIYATE DONBEI
349
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:44,673
Thank you all for coming today.
350
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:48,176
They say even a dog
would ignore a couple's fight.
351
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:49,911
Oh! It's "Umaya Kaji" today.
352
00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:53,115
These days,
you often hear the acronym, DV.
353
00:17:53,115 --> 00:17:56,618
It stands for domestic violence.
Hearing it makes me feel like
354
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,387
I've been punched a couple of times.
355
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,958
Fortunately,
356
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:05,694
since I adore my wife very much,
357
00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,729
I don't have to worry about it.
358
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:11,299
However, I do have a certain pupil
359
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,801
who can be quite violent.
360
00:18:13,602 --> 00:18:16,838
I always worry that he might slug me.
361
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:21,009
So in my household,
it's not DV but PV... Pupil Violence.
362
00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,944
Hey, he's talking about me.
363
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:26,214
"Osaki, did you quarrel
with your husband again?"
364
00:18:26,214 --> 00:18:27,215
"Yes.
365
00:18:27,215 --> 00:18:29,417
My teacher has another pupil.
366
00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:30,952
Her name is Omitsu.
367
00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:31,953
Omitsu.
368
00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:34,823
She hurt her finger the other day.
369
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,625
You know, sir,
370
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:39,928
a hairdresser can't do
anything with a finger injury.
371
00:18:39,928 --> 00:18:42,998
We pupils are supposed
to help each other out,
372
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,033
so I filled in for her."
373
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:50,438
It's you, Marimo!
374
00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:53,875
What's the matter?
375
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,945
You look like you're going to faint!
376
00:18:57,579 --> 00:18:58,446
Why are you here?
377
00:18:59,281 --> 00:19:00,215
My annual physical.
378
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:04,419
Once you're my age,
the upkeep costs way too much.
379
00:19:04,419 --> 00:19:05,587
Same here.
380
00:19:05,587 --> 00:19:07,589
"And once I got home, my husband asked,
381
00:19:07,589 --> 00:19:10,392
'Where have you been, you lazy-ass woman?'
382
00:19:10,392 --> 00:19:12,561
I got angry, so I shouted back.
383
00:19:12,561 --> 00:19:16,665
'Without me,
you couldn't play and drink all day!'
384
00:19:16,665 --> 00:19:19,401
And being the man that he is,
he yelled back.
385
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:22,404
'Who do you think you are?
You flat-faced bitch!'
386
00:19:22,404 --> 00:19:24,940
I yelled back too.
'Shut up! Hideous jerk!'
387
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:27,108
Then he retorted, 'What, you monster?'"
388
00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:28,843
You're always by his side.
389
00:19:28,843 --> 00:19:31,880
That's not healthy for a relationship.
390
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,450
Getting pushed around is okay,
because it's part of the job.
391
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:37,752
But every single hour of the day,
392
00:19:37,752 --> 00:19:40,855
he says he'll beat me up.
That's what I can't take!
393
00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:42,624
"You should just leave him!
394
00:19:42,624 --> 00:19:48,330
Although I was your marriage officiant,
I never liked your husband.
395
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:50,665
I checked up on him when you were out.
396
00:19:50,665 --> 00:19:55,370
He was eating
a plate of sashimi and drinking sake!
397
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:59,174
You work so hard as a hairdresser,
and he spends all the money!
398
00:19:59,174 --> 00:20:00,542
What a loser of a man."
399
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:03,812
"It's not my place to say this,
but it's not like
400
00:20:03,812 --> 00:20:07,415
he ordered sashimi
for everyone in the neighborhood
401
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,986
or bought barrels of sake
and went into a drunken frenzy.
402
00:20:11,553 --> 00:20:13,989
He only had a few drinks
403
00:20:14,522 --> 00:20:16,024
and a plate of sashimi.
404
00:20:16,524 --> 00:20:17,959
Yet you speak ill of him.
405
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:20,729
How cruel!"
406
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:24,399
"I thought you said
you wanted to break up with him!"
407
00:20:24,399 --> 00:20:25,634
It's "Umaya Kaji" today!
408
00:20:33,074 --> 00:20:34,242
Hi!
409
00:20:34,242 --> 00:20:37,345
It's a rough draft.
410
00:20:37,345 --> 00:20:40,915
There are times
when he's so sweet to me that I feel
411
00:20:40,915 --> 00:20:43,852
there can't be
a sweeter man on this planet.
412
00:20:43,852 --> 00:20:44,919
"But on some days,
413
00:20:44,919 --> 00:20:47,622
I wish he'd just drop dead!"
414
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:50,425
The thing is, I have no idea how he feels.
415
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,662
Does he really love me,
416
00:20:54,396 --> 00:20:57,666
or does he stay with me
just to make a living?
417
00:20:58,366 --> 00:20:59,434
What do you think?
418
00:20:59,434 --> 00:21:02,203
"If you don't know, how should I know?
419
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:05,340
But I do feel sorry for you.
420
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:07,842
Sometimes you've got
to test a man's feelings.
421
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,412
Have you heard of Morokoshi?"
422
00:21:10,412 --> 00:21:12,847
"Of course! Sweet rice balls, right?"
423
00:21:12,847 --> 00:21:15,216
"No, it's another name for China!
424
00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:18,953
There once was
a great teacher named Confucius."
425
00:21:18,953 --> 00:21:22,457
- Who's Confucius?
- He'll tell you.
426
00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:28,330
Teacher! Confucius!
427
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,165
Confucius!
428
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,702
We have bad news!
There was a fire in the stable!
429
00:21:33,702 --> 00:21:34,736
What did you say?
430
00:21:37,572 --> 00:21:40,241
We tried to save
your favorite white horse,
431
00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:42,344
but we were too late!
432
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:45,747
If you hadn't taken the black horse...
433
00:21:45,747 --> 00:21:49,617
It's our fault that we let the fire start!
434
00:21:50,151 --> 00:21:51,419
We're so sorry!
435
00:21:54,823 --> 00:21:56,524
My beloved pupils.
436
00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,260
Did anyone get hurt?
437
00:21:59,961 --> 00:22:01,796
- We're all fine.
- Is that so?
438
00:22:02,931 --> 00:22:04,466
I'm glad you are all fine.
439
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,502
Confucius!
440
00:22:07,502 --> 00:22:10,338
They thought, "What a kind teacher he is!
441
00:22:10,338 --> 00:22:13,742
We will serve him with our lives!"
442
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:15,243
However,
443
00:22:15,243 --> 00:22:17,178
some stories are total opposites.
444
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,650
Once there was
a young master of the Saru family.
445
00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:24,652
"That's such an odd name.
446
00:22:24,652 --> 00:22:26,221
A 'monkey' young master?"
447
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:29,691
"I can't reveal his real name.
Let's leave it at that."
448
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:34,262
This young master
was very much into collecting pottery.
449
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,264
Four-Eyes!
450
00:22:36,264 --> 00:22:39,300
The bowl is expensive,
so my wife will take it.
451
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:44,172
But it's so old and cracked!
452
00:22:44,172 --> 00:22:48,743
Moron! How could I have
afforded it if it weren't cracked?
453
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,379
Without that crack...
454
00:22:55,383 --> 00:22:59,754
How's the bowl? Is it broken?
455
00:22:59,754 --> 00:23:02,157
The young master shouted
456
00:23:02,157 --> 00:23:03,258
"Is it broken?"
457
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,593
Thirty-six times
without pausing to breathe.
458
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:08,329
A few days later,
the wife's parents took her back.
459
00:23:08,329 --> 00:23:12,567
They couldn't let a man
who loved a bowl so much
460
00:23:12,567 --> 00:23:14,736
have their precious daughter as his wife.
461
00:23:15,637 --> 00:23:18,573
"My husband is also
very fond of a pottery plate."
462
00:23:18,573 --> 00:23:21,509
"Really? That's great. Break it!"
463
00:23:21,509 --> 00:23:26,548
"But what if he turns out to be
like the 'monkey' young master
464
00:23:26,548 --> 00:23:28,983
instead of the teacher in Morokoshi?
465
00:23:28,983 --> 00:23:32,053
Sir, will you go
talk to him before I go home?"
466
00:23:32,053 --> 00:23:34,189
"Why should I?"
467
00:23:34,189 --> 00:23:36,624
"Tell him that I'll break the plate.
468
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,427
Tell him to worry about me,
not the plate!"
469
00:23:39,427 --> 00:23:41,196
"That defeats the purpose!"
470
00:23:42,163 --> 00:23:43,898
He's hopeless!
471
00:23:43,898 --> 00:23:46,568
Who are you calling hopeless?
472
00:23:46,568 --> 00:23:49,037
What are you doing here? Where's Maruo?
473
00:23:50,705 --> 00:23:52,774
I left him there!
474
00:23:56,277 --> 00:23:59,481
Have a drink, Maruo.
It's no fun drinking alone!
475
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,783
I'll pass today.
I have a gig in the evening.
476
00:24:01,783 --> 00:24:05,286
But you used to drink
in the dressing room!
477
00:24:12,694 --> 00:24:14,896
That's the man I know!
478
00:24:14,896 --> 00:24:15,797
One more!
479
00:24:15,797 --> 00:24:16,831
Wait!
480
00:24:17,365 --> 00:24:18,199
I'll have...
481
00:24:18,733 --> 00:24:19,634
shochu instead!
482
00:24:19,634 --> 00:24:21,135
With pleasure!
483
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,506
I have to go! Back to the dressing room!
484
00:24:25,106 --> 00:24:25,940
See you!
485
00:24:28,042 --> 00:24:29,210
Marimo.
486
00:24:30,778 --> 00:24:31,713
Are you...
487
00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:33,515
really all right?
488
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:36,818
I'm fine, thanks.
489
00:24:40,989 --> 00:24:42,924
We're too late!
490
00:24:42,924 --> 00:24:45,426
Go find him! He couldn't have gotten far!
491
00:24:48,463 --> 00:24:49,430
Another round!
492
00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:51,599
But I don't have any money.
493
00:24:51,599 --> 00:24:53,101
Found a place!
494
00:24:59,974 --> 00:25:02,110
Ryuji! I found one!
495
00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:03,978
Seriously?
496
00:25:03,978 --> 00:25:05,046
You know, Ryuji?
497
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,215
Beat Takeshi
498
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:10,552
used to drink methanol shochu.
499
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:11,986
Methanol shochu?
500
00:25:12,987 --> 00:25:14,422
Drink methanol shochu,
501
00:25:14,422 --> 00:25:18,927
then run around the street.
The alcohol zooms through your body!
502
00:25:18,927 --> 00:25:20,762
It feels so good!
503
00:25:20,762 --> 00:25:23,898
Let's go.
Your performance will start soon.
504
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:26,267
That'll be enough for today.
505
00:25:29,971 --> 00:25:32,173
What are you guys doing?
506
00:25:33,274 --> 00:25:35,843
Adrian!
507
00:25:40,949 --> 00:25:42,250
Not my fault!
508
00:25:46,888 --> 00:25:49,824
Your turn is coming right up.
509
00:25:49,824 --> 00:25:51,192
Hasn't he come yet?
510
00:25:51,693 --> 00:25:54,796
There's no other way.
Ma'am, I'll go instead!
511
00:25:54,796 --> 00:25:57,332
Don't rub salt in the wound!
512
00:25:57,332 --> 00:25:59,534
Are you calling me salt? Yup!
513
00:25:59,534 --> 00:26:01,502
The Salt of Hakata!
514
00:26:04,539 --> 00:26:06,975
Perhaps it's time I rose to the challenge.
515
00:26:06,975 --> 00:26:10,411
I'm sorry! This is all my fault!
516
00:26:10,411 --> 00:26:14,983
You were supposed to be watching him!
This is terrible.
517
00:26:14,983 --> 00:26:19,220
- You're the one who texted me!
- Five seconds later, he explodes!
518
00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:21,489
- So it's my fault?
- Not really.
519
00:26:22,056 --> 00:26:24,392
But you're showing off
your phone too much!
520
00:26:24,392 --> 00:26:27,228
And I did tell Ta-chan
to watch over him. Right?
521
00:26:28,096 --> 00:26:32,266
I couldn't help it!
I can't miss Don-chan's performance!
522
00:26:32,266 --> 00:26:33,468
So it is my fault!
523
00:26:33,468 --> 00:26:35,236
Enough!
524
00:26:35,236 --> 00:26:36,938
Marimo is crying!
525
00:26:38,206 --> 00:26:40,675
If she cries, I'll cry, too!
526
00:26:40,675 --> 00:26:41,676
Want that?
527
00:26:41,676 --> 00:26:42,877
No.
528
00:26:42,877 --> 00:26:44,946
I don't want that at all.
529
00:26:47,415 --> 00:26:48,316
I'm sorry.
530
00:27:04,866 --> 00:27:07,502
All right, Ryuji, time to go.
Off to the theater!
531
00:27:07,502 --> 00:27:09,837
You can't! You're way too drunk!
532
00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:13,574
I'll be fine!
I'm the best manzai performer in Kansai!
533
00:27:13,574 --> 00:27:16,611
A bit of alcohol
can't stop me from going on stage!
534
00:27:16,611 --> 00:27:17,512
What the hell?
535
00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:18,913
I'm sorry!
536
00:27:18,913 --> 00:27:20,148
Sorry, he's drunk!
537
00:27:21,249 --> 00:27:23,418
Stop wobbling, you old geezer!
538
00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:26,421
You drunk.
539
00:27:26,988 --> 00:27:28,556
Always so drunk.
540
00:27:28,556 --> 00:27:29,490
Huh?
541
00:27:31,125 --> 00:27:33,327
Ma'am, we should rehearse.
542
00:27:33,327 --> 00:27:36,898
You can't even have
a conversation with your own wife.
543
00:27:36,898 --> 00:27:39,434
You think you can do manzai
with someone else's?
544
00:27:40,601 --> 00:27:43,271
- This may not be the time, but...
- What?
545
00:27:43,271 --> 00:27:45,273
The story. How does it end?
546
00:27:45,273 --> 00:27:47,608
- How insensitive!
- I'm curious.
547
00:27:48,176 --> 00:27:51,012
I heard up to the part
"Let's break the plate."
548
00:27:51,012 --> 00:27:52,380
And then what?
549
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,214
Well,
550
00:27:53,214 --> 00:27:57,952
the wife Osaki breaks it,
and her husband says...
551
00:27:58,519 --> 00:28:00,755
"Are you hurt?
552
00:28:00,755 --> 00:28:03,091
If a plate breaks,
I can just buy a new one.
553
00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:06,027
Were you hurt?"
554
00:28:06,527 --> 00:28:07,729
"I'm so happy!
555
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:11,566
You worry about me!"
556
00:28:11,566 --> 00:28:15,870
"Of course I do.
If something ever happened to you..."
557
00:28:18,406 --> 00:28:19,440
"From tomorrow...
558
00:28:22,009 --> 00:28:23,211
I couldn't play...
559
00:28:24,979 --> 00:28:26,347
and drink all day."
560
00:28:27,148 --> 00:28:30,184
Dammit. The police sirens ruined it!
561
00:28:30,718 --> 00:28:31,652
But really...
562
00:28:32,353 --> 00:28:35,556
Don't the sirens sound awfully close?
563
00:28:36,524 --> 00:28:37,658
It can't be...
564
00:28:37,658 --> 00:28:38,626
What?
565
00:28:41,429 --> 00:28:44,398
Damn. I didn't get it at all.
566
00:28:47,702 --> 00:28:48,703
What happened?
567
00:28:48,703 --> 00:28:49,837
It's bad news!
568
00:28:49,837 --> 00:28:52,340
- What happened?
- Let us through!
569
00:28:57,712 --> 00:28:59,280
Listen to me!
570
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,915
I didn't do anything!
571
00:29:00,915 --> 00:29:03,317
I didn't do anything at all!
572
00:29:03,317 --> 00:29:05,153
Ryuji, that idiot!
573
00:29:08,623 --> 00:29:11,492
Somebody get an ambulance!
574
00:29:11,492 --> 00:29:13,494
No! No ambulance.
575
00:29:14,295 --> 00:29:17,398
What happened?
576
00:29:18,332 --> 00:29:19,967
Wait! It hurts!
577
00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:21,235
I'm not going in!
578
00:29:21,235 --> 00:29:23,871
Ryuji! Why the hell?
579
00:29:23,871 --> 00:29:27,875
You have a car, right? Take Marimo home!
580
00:29:28,576 --> 00:29:30,678
Kotora! I'm putting you in charge!
581
00:29:30,678 --> 00:29:35,116
Sayuri-chan and I
have to go to the police station...
582
00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:36,884
To the police...
583
00:29:36,884 --> 00:29:38,019
Don-chan.
584
00:29:38,553 --> 00:29:39,387
They...
585
00:29:39,387 --> 00:29:42,123
Don-chan...
586
00:29:42,123 --> 00:29:44,058
Somebody get her a blanket!
587
00:29:44,592 --> 00:29:46,494
Blanket! Blanket!
588
00:29:47,762 --> 00:29:49,363
I've got to get back to my shop.
589
00:29:50,965 --> 00:29:55,369
What the hell? I don't get this situation.
590
00:30:00,141 --> 00:30:01,943
Hot...
591
00:30:01,943 --> 00:30:03,344
What are you doing?
592
00:30:04,145 --> 00:30:05,313
Sorry, I woke you up.
593
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,717
I didn't know whether
to cool you down or make you warm,
594
00:30:09,717 --> 00:30:13,120
so I decided on room temperature.
595
00:30:15,089 --> 00:30:16,357
Thanks.
596
00:30:16,357 --> 00:30:17,291
I'm fine now.
597
00:30:19,093 --> 00:30:22,763
Mother called a little earlier.
598
00:30:23,431 --> 00:30:25,600
They're letting Ryuji go, but...
599
00:30:26,601 --> 00:30:27,768
Maruo...
600
00:30:30,471 --> 00:30:31,305
I'm so sorry.
601
00:30:31,305 --> 00:30:34,742
We're terribly sorry
for all the trouble he caused.
602
00:30:34,742 --> 00:30:37,745
Don't apologize!
They know I didn't do anything!
603
00:30:37,745 --> 00:30:38,746
Ryuji,
604
00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:41,415
how can you be so nonchalant?
605
00:30:42,783 --> 00:30:47,288
Ever since he got out of prison,
Maruo hadn't had a drop of alcohol.
606
00:30:47,855 --> 00:30:48,589
Prison?
607
00:30:48,589 --> 00:30:49,724
He got drunk
608
00:30:49,724 --> 00:30:52,860
and beat up people.
He got out just recently.
609
00:30:52,860 --> 00:30:58,599
We were all trying to help him
start a new life, and you idiot...
610
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,436
You say you didn't do anything?
Are you kidding?
611
00:31:03,104 --> 00:31:06,173
You helped enable Maruo.
612
00:31:07,308 --> 00:31:11,012
They should've thrown you
in jail for two or three years!
613
00:31:11,012 --> 00:31:13,281
You apologized in tears a while ago!
614
00:31:13,281 --> 00:31:16,217
That was an act. Of course it was an act!
615
00:31:16,951 --> 00:31:19,720
Who the hell would cry over you, idiot?
616
00:31:31,399 --> 00:31:33,768
That was the last straw.
I can't stand him.
617
00:31:33,768 --> 00:31:35,703
We've caused you trouble, too.
618
00:31:36,570 --> 00:31:39,040
You worked so hard for us, but...
619
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,207
I just hope...
620
00:31:41,442 --> 00:31:43,711
I hope you don't give up on Maruo.
621
00:31:45,012 --> 00:31:46,514
He's not a bad guy.
622
00:31:47,481 --> 00:31:51,185
He told me stuff,
and he and I have a lot in common.
623
00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:53,554
Well...
624
00:31:53,554 --> 00:31:55,923
I had no choice but to become a yakuza,
625
00:31:56,524 --> 00:31:58,592
but I'm struggling with myself for it.
626
00:32:00,227 --> 00:32:01,095
I bet he...
627
00:32:01,095 --> 00:32:02,530
I mean...
628
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:07,134
He had no choice but to do manzai,
and he's also struggling with himself.
629
00:32:07,969 --> 00:32:10,071
This time, he lost to alcohol,
630
00:32:10,071 --> 00:32:11,872
but he's not a bad guy.
631
00:32:11,872 --> 00:32:14,942
So if you give up on him,
it's like saying,
632
00:32:14,942 --> 00:32:16,644
I'm a hopeless case, too.
633
00:32:19,213 --> 00:32:20,982
Sorry. I can't say it well.
634
00:32:21,816 --> 00:32:23,551
I've been really thinking...
635
00:32:24,185 --> 00:32:25,086
About what?
636
00:32:26,053 --> 00:32:30,324
The story where the wife breaks
her husband's plate to test his feelings.
637
00:32:31,025 --> 00:32:32,626
I thought it was a good story.
638
00:32:33,461 --> 00:32:36,030
But my husband has nothing
that matters to him
639
00:32:36,764 --> 00:32:38,432
except for alcohol.
640
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,770
So I thought he would
care about me once he quit drinking.
641
00:32:43,804 --> 00:32:44,939
But drinking won.
642
00:32:44,939 --> 00:32:47,041
Wait. There is something
643
00:32:47,575 --> 00:32:49,010
that he cares about more.
644
00:32:49,844 --> 00:32:50,678
What?
645
00:32:51,612 --> 00:32:52,580
Manzai.
646
00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:10,798
They say even a dog
would ignore a couple's fight.
647
00:33:10,798 --> 00:33:12,233
- It's "Umaya Kaji"!
- Hey.
648
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,170
- Your shop!
- I'm not working today.
649
00:33:20,341 --> 00:33:23,644
Violence in the home
is called domestic violence.
650
00:33:23,644 --> 00:33:29,083
However, today's story
is about violence outside the home.
651
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:33,554
A foolish man made a living
knocking his wife around on stage.
652
00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:35,856
It should be called SV or Stage Violence.
653
00:33:36,424 --> 00:33:37,591
He's good.
654
00:33:37,591 --> 00:33:40,961
There was a married couple
named Marimo and Maruo,
655
00:33:40,961 --> 00:33:43,731
a duo famous
for physically violent manzai.
656
00:33:43,731 --> 00:33:45,699
Being knocked around every day
657
00:33:45,699 --> 00:33:47,668
made the wife feel insecure.
658
00:33:47,668 --> 00:33:50,838
"Does my husband really love me?"
659
00:33:50,838 --> 00:33:54,141
So she decided to put on an act
660
00:33:54,141 --> 00:33:55,609
to test his feelings.
661
00:33:55,609 --> 00:33:58,012
Get hurt right before the performance,
662
00:33:58,012 --> 00:33:59,547
then see if he cares.
663
00:33:59,547 --> 00:34:01,048
That's "Umaya Kaji."
664
00:34:01,048 --> 00:34:04,919
When we were popular,
I once got a bad case of whiplash.
665
00:34:04,919 --> 00:34:06,020
What did he do?
666
00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:08,923
He made sure to target my neck.
667
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,124
He's incredible.
668
00:34:10,124 --> 00:34:12,760
He wouldn't even
blink an eye at an injury.
669
00:34:13,761 --> 00:34:16,163
But something like terminal cancer...
670
00:34:16,163 --> 00:34:19,100
Good! Tell him you have
only a few months left!
671
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:20,701
That'll surely get to him!
672
00:34:20,701 --> 00:34:21,969
Right!
673
00:34:21,969 --> 00:34:24,839
If he still beats you up,
he is truly violent.
674
00:34:24,839 --> 00:34:28,642
What do you think?
It'll be quite effective.
675
00:34:29,510 --> 00:34:31,745
I'm not sure this is what we intended.
676
00:34:31,745 --> 00:34:35,015
And so it was agreed upon,
and the plan was put into action.
677
00:34:35,716 --> 00:34:38,686
Tiger, tiger, jirettaiga!
678
00:34:39,987 --> 00:34:42,056
Good.
679
00:34:44,258 --> 00:34:47,394
The yakuza boss posted his bail again
680
00:34:47,394 --> 00:34:50,731
and Maruo was set free for the day.
681
00:34:51,899 --> 00:34:53,367
- Ryuji?
- Yes?
682
00:34:54,034 --> 00:34:56,237
- Can you take me to Tokyo Station?
- What?
683
00:34:56,237 --> 00:34:58,772
- I'm going back to Osaka.
- Why?
684
00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:01,108
Shouldn't you see your wife?
685
00:35:01,108 --> 00:35:04,979
How can I face her again, idiot?
And I can't do manzai anymore.
686
00:35:08,082 --> 00:35:09,083
What next?
687
00:35:09,083 --> 00:35:11,685
Didn't you hear me? Change destination!
688
00:35:15,956 --> 00:35:18,959
Damn it. Should I tell him?
689
00:35:19,527 --> 00:35:20,728
No, I can't!
690
00:35:21,462 --> 00:35:22,429
What?
691
00:35:22,429 --> 00:35:26,233
Well... I'll just tell you. It's cancer.
692
00:35:26,233 --> 00:35:27,168
What?
693
00:35:27,735 --> 00:35:28,869
You didn't know?
694
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:30,938
Marimo has cancer.
695
00:35:31,872 --> 00:35:35,943
When you were in prison,
she was in the hospital for it.
696
00:35:36,877 --> 00:35:38,345
Are you serious?
697
00:35:38,345 --> 00:35:40,581
What kind of cancer? Stomach? Liver?
698
00:35:40,581 --> 00:35:42,016
I don't know.
699
00:35:42,016 --> 00:35:44,051
How much longer does she have?
700
00:35:44,051 --> 00:35:46,420
Half a year? Three months?
701
00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:49,990
Which is it? There's a huge difference!
702
00:35:49,990 --> 00:35:51,959
Shut up! I said I didn't know!
703
00:35:51,959 --> 00:35:53,160
Go back.
704
00:35:53,727 --> 00:35:55,963
Make a U-turn and go back.
705
00:35:56,630 --> 00:35:58,432
Go back now or I'll beat you up!
706
00:35:58,432 --> 00:36:01,435
"Do you want to have dinner
with me that badly?"
707
00:36:02,703 --> 00:36:05,072
What's taking them so long?
708
00:36:05,072 --> 00:36:06,340
Well, Kotora.
709
00:36:06,340 --> 00:36:07,608
They're on their way.
710
00:36:07,608 --> 00:36:10,077
I want to do the opposite.
711
00:36:10,744 --> 00:36:11,612
The opposite?
712
00:36:12,346 --> 00:36:16,050
Even a terminal illness
wouldn't shake him, I think.
713
00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,918
That's not the man I married.
714
00:36:19,153 --> 00:36:22,356
If he knocks me around
on stage even if I have cancer,
715
00:36:23,123 --> 00:36:25,259
I'll still stay with him no matter what.
716
00:36:26,627 --> 00:36:29,897
But if he hesitates
or shows any bit of concern for me,
717
00:36:30,931 --> 00:36:31,999
then...
718
00:36:33,834 --> 00:36:36,170
I will break up with him.
719
00:36:39,807 --> 00:36:40,641
I see.
720
00:36:41,308 --> 00:36:43,244
Sorry! We're late!
721
00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:44,078
The costumes?
722
00:36:44,078 --> 00:36:45,479
They're not done yet.
723
00:36:45,479 --> 00:36:46,981
Why not, you idiot?
724
00:36:46,981 --> 00:36:49,049
Not my fault! I had to go pick him up!
725
00:36:49,650 --> 00:36:51,151
I love it!
726
00:36:51,151 --> 00:36:51,919
Seriously?
727
00:36:51,919 --> 00:36:52,953
For you, that's good.
728
00:36:52,953 --> 00:36:56,957
I wanted to put a big zipper in
the front and a lion on the back.
729
00:36:56,957 --> 00:36:59,226
Don't! Where's Maruo?
730
00:36:59,226 --> 00:37:00,894
- He's changing.
- Go get him.
731
00:37:00,894 --> 00:37:01,795
Will do.
732
00:37:03,297 --> 00:37:04,999
So about the cancer...
733
00:37:05,532 --> 00:37:06,500
Forget it.
734
00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:07,401
What?
735
00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:15,242
It'll be the opposite.
She wants him to hit her.
736
00:37:15,242 --> 00:37:16,844
If you don't tell him,
737
00:37:16,844 --> 00:37:18,412
he'll just beat her up.
738
00:37:18,412 --> 00:37:20,214
- Too late.
- What?
739
00:37:21,015 --> 00:37:23,517
I told him already in the car!
740
00:37:25,152 --> 00:37:28,122
I had no choice!
He was trying to go back to Osaka!
741
00:37:28,822 --> 00:37:31,425
Is it my fault again?
742
00:37:32,259 --> 00:37:33,460
Maruo's coming!
743
00:37:38,432 --> 00:37:39,300
Maruo!
744
00:37:40,567 --> 00:37:41,435
Marimo.
745
00:37:43,437 --> 00:37:44,972
Do you have cancer?
746
00:37:48,175 --> 00:37:53,080
Next up is the manzai duo from Kansai,
Marimo the wife and Maruo the husband!
747
00:37:55,382 --> 00:37:58,619
We'll talk about it later. We're up!
748
00:38:09,063 --> 00:38:11,999
Hello!
We're the Dreams Come True of Naniwa,
749
00:38:11,999 --> 00:38:13,367
Marimo and...
750
00:38:14,702 --> 00:38:15,569
Ma...
751
00:38:16,837 --> 00:38:18,172
Maruo!
752
00:38:21,475 --> 00:38:22,309
It's your line!
753
00:38:23,944 --> 00:38:26,447
The pretty one is Marimo.
754
00:38:26,447 --> 00:38:28,449
The dirty looking one is Maruo.
755
00:38:31,251 --> 00:38:32,353
I'm...
756
00:38:33,887 --> 00:38:36,256
I'm nothing but filth.
757
00:38:36,256 --> 00:38:39,226
No need to cry over it. This is manzai!
758
00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,730
Yes. This is manzai...
759
00:38:43,764 --> 00:38:46,066
- Here I go! Compliment me!
- Go right ahead!
760
00:38:47,267 --> 00:38:49,536
This rose in the meadow is Marimo.
761
00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:52,740
This criminal running
across the meadow is Maruo!
762
00:38:54,475 --> 00:38:55,709
She's right!
763
00:38:58,612 --> 00:39:02,649
All this time,
you've stuck by a criminal like me.
764
00:39:04,418 --> 00:39:06,820
I'm so grateful!
765
00:39:07,955 --> 00:39:08,822
Idiot!
766
00:39:09,523 --> 00:39:10,924
I'm such an idiot!
767
00:39:10,924 --> 00:39:12,059
She'll divorce him.
768
00:39:12,626 --> 00:39:13,460
What?
769
00:39:13,460 --> 00:39:16,797
It's a lie. She's just testing him.
770
00:39:16,797 --> 00:39:18,165
It's not cancer?
771
00:39:18,899 --> 00:39:19,900
It's not cancer?
772
00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:21,502
I wish I put the lion...
773
00:39:21,502 --> 00:39:22,703
Shut your traps!
774
00:39:22,703 --> 00:39:26,740
I keep telling myself
I need to work harder.
775
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:29,676
- You don't have to try too hard!
- Why not?
776
00:39:30,277 --> 00:39:33,080
If you die,
I'll get loads of insurance money!
777
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,214
That's true.
778
00:39:36,884 --> 00:39:42,456
If I die, you'll live in luxury
with the insurance money.
779
00:39:43,357 --> 00:39:44,191
But...
780
00:39:47,461 --> 00:39:50,063
Scum like me gets to live,
781
00:39:51,031 --> 00:39:52,065
and Marimo...
782
00:39:57,538 --> 00:39:58,505
You!
783
00:39:59,706 --> 00:40:01,208
Get your act together!
784
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:04,011
What the hell?
785
00:40:05,279 --> 00:40:06,914
Think about the audience!
786
00:40:08,382 --> 00:40:10,017
I'm so sorry, people.
787
00:40:10,017 --> 00:40:12,753
My husband knocks me around too much,
788
00:40:12,753 --> 00:40:14,822
so I decided to pull his leg.
789
00:40:14,822 --> 00:40:19,660
I told him I had a terminal illness
and was going to die in a few months.
790
00:40:19,660 --> 00:40:22,062
He freaked out!
791
00:40:22,062 --> 00:40:22,996
Hold it!
792
00:40:25,599 --> 00:40:26,433
What do you mean?
793
00:40:28,569 --> 00:40:30,704
It was a prank? You aren't dying?
794
00:40:30,704 --> 00:40:32,906
- It's a lie!
- It's a lie?
795
00:40:32,906 --> 00:40:34,241
It's the truth!
796
00:40:34,241 --> 00:40:35,108
Which is it?
797
00:40:35,108 --> 00:40:36,009
Idiot!
798
00:40:37,344 --> 00:40:39,112
When I lie...
799
00:40:40,981 --> 00:40:42,816
When I lie...
800
00:40:46,453 --> 00:40:47,921
The lie shows on my face!
801
00:40:57,464 --> 00:41:00,601
So it is a lie!
802
00:41:04,538 --> 00:41:05,973
How dare you!
803
00:41:05,973 --> 00:41:09,476
You made a fool of your husband!
804
00:41:11,078 --> 00:41:16,383
Would a loser like you
actually be sad over your wife's death?
805
00:41:16,383 --> 00:41:17,985
Of course, idiot!
806
00:41:19,486 --> 00:41:20,654
If you died...
807
00:41:21,755 --> 00:41:23,156
"From tomorrow on,
808
00:41:24,391 --> 00:41:26,393
I won't be able to have fun and drink!"
809
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:36,136
Hey! You nailed it, Second Billing!
810
00:41:43,911 --> 00:41:47,648
Thank you so much! Thank you, everyone!
811
00:41:58,325 --> 00:41:59,560
Thank you.
812
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,629
Thank you very much.
813
00:42:18,645 --> 00:42:19,813
Don't worry.
814
00:42:21,148 --> 00:42:25,953
We'll keep the incense
burning until you are released.
815
00:42:40,567 --> 00:42:41,702
Forgive me.
816
00:42:46,106 --> 00:42:49,343
I had no idea she really had cancer.
817
00:42:50,911 --> 00:42:53,380
You did something real good.
818
00:42:54,147 --> 00:42:58,352
Don't you think?
If they had broken up like that,
819
00:42:59,453 --> 00:43:01,722
Marimo would be turning in her grave!
820
00:43:02,723 --> 00:43:05,292
They got to understand
each other at their last gig.
821
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,998
As a married couple and a manzai duo,
822
00:43:12,099 --> 00:43:14,701
they probably have no regrets.
823
00:43:16,136 --> 00:43:19,873
You were a wonderful Morokoshi teacher!
824
00:43:20,607 --> 00:43:22,376
I'm not such a great guy.
825
00:43:23,176 --> 00:43:25,312
So this time,
826
00:43:26,313 --> 00:43:29,750
I cannot accept any lesson fee from you.
827
00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:33,220
I learned something
very important from you.
828
00:43:33,220 --> 00:43:35,322
I wish I could pay you instead!
829
00:43:35,322 --> 00:43:36,923
Although I can't afford it.
830
00:43:37,424 --> 00:43:40,293
- What about your debt?
- About that...
831
00:43:41,928 --> 00:43:45,198
Could you... Could you...
832
00:43:45,198 --> 00:43:47,234
Pay it for me this month?
833
00:43:49,169 --> 00:43:52,105
Okay, just this once.
834
00:43:59,413 --> 00:44:01,181
Shut up and eat quietly!
835
00:44:02,282 --> 00:44:04,518
Number 628! Put your tray out!
836
00:44:04,518 --> 00:44:05,952
I'm Inoue Waka!
837
00:44:09,790 --> 00:44:12,459
At least give me a reaction.
838
00:44:12,459 --> 00:44:15,162
Give me a break.
You do it every single day.
839
00:44:19,099 --> 00:44:21,668
You don't know how to take a joke!