1
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:08,084
(心醉)

2
00:00:11,254 --> 00:00:14,290
(JUMP)

3
00:00:15,591 --> 00:00:18,261
大家好 我是JUMP亭JUMP

4
00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:20,129
我最喜欢的服装是连体衣

5
00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:27,070
有个词叫出来心

6
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:31,474
意思是软弱的人 一时冲动做了坏事

7
00:00:31,474 --> 00:00:34,010
当你良心有愧时

8
00:00:34,544 --> 00:00:36,546
恶念便会趁虚而入

9
00:00:37,346 --> 00:00:39,816
我知道自己必须更加努力...

10
00:00:39,816 --> 00:00:40,983
银次郎

11
00:00:40,983 --> 00:00:44,087
知道他们为什么说自己要更努力吗?

12
00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:46,622
他们之所以这么说

13
00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:51,761
是因为他们还不够努力
所以才会对自己说

14
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:53,963
要更加努力

15
00:00:53,963 --> 00:00:55,998
真正努力的人

16
00:00:56,532 --> 00:00:59,335
不会把那些话挂在嘴边
他们只会默默努力

17
00:01:01,904 --> 00:01:03,106
为什么关了?

18
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:06,342
-我们在看着呢
-银次郎 你够努力吗?

19
00:01:06,342 --> 00:01:07,810
我...

20
00:01:08,911 --> 00:01:10,146
不是...

21
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特别努力

22
00:01:12,415 --> 00:01:14,484
你本该努力才对

23
00:01:14,484 --> 00:01:18,287
现如今 那些不上学也不上班 蹲在家里的年轻人

24
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,623
被人们称作家里蹲

25
00:01:21,591 --> 00:01:23,593
这是种精神疾病

26
00:01:23,593 --> 00:01:25,928
也许我就是个家里蹲

27
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:27,497
什么?

28
00:01:28,231 --> 00:01:30,399
最近我什么都不想做

29
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:33,436
看到其他小年轻在不停找工作...

30
00:01:33,436 --> 00:01:35,771
也许我不该混帮派

31
00:01:36,572 --> 00:01:38,241
完全没有我想要的工作

32
00:01:38,741 --> 00:01:40,042
不如什么都不做

33
00:01:40,042 --> 00:01:41,377
又来了

34
00:01:42,245 --> 00:01:46,115
等毕业后 你必须专心混帮派

35
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你要在流星会历史上留名

36
00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:51,721
但我真的想在帮派史上留名吗?

37
00:01:51,721 --> 00:01:55,491
我觉得高尔夫球很无聊
还不如在家发呆

38
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,894
兼职我也不喜欢 麻烦死了

39
00:01:57,894 --> 00:02:00,830
我有钱所以我不需要工作 我不知道

40
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,734
你个被宠坏的臭小子

41
00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:06,869
喂 小虎

42
00:02:06,869 --> 00:02:10,006
你觉得自己比别人都厉害吗?

43
00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:12,241
你没有想做的事了?

44
00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:16,245
都是懒汉们的蹩脚借口而已

45
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:21,417
别再胡说八道了

46
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:24,020
下定决心 做个真正的日本黑道

47
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:27,223
做一些甚至会让你老爸惊讶的事情

48
00:02:28,324 --> 00:02:30,760
去国会大楼撒泡尿或干点类似的事

49
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,763
日向 我没说错吧?

50
00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:35,631
没错...真的没错吗?

51
00:02:35,631 --> 00:02:38,568
我来帮你摆脱家里蹲

52
00:02:39,235 --> 00:02:40,836
疼

53
00:02:40,836 --> 00:02:43,172
你踢他无补于事

54
00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:44,807
不过家里蹲到底是什么?

55
00:02:44,807 --> 00:02:48,844
即便解释个好几年

56
00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:51,581
他也不会明白具体含义的

57
00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:56,719
今天的故事
就是关于这个困惑的年轻人的

58
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我们开始吧

59
00:03:00,022 --> 00:03:03,292
龙与虎

60
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,570
{\an8}你到底还讲不讲落语?

61
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,839
{\an8}我也不知道自己想不想讲

62
00:03:16,839 --> 00:03:19,775
{\an8}-你也是家里蹲?
-那店铺怎么办?

63
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,077
没问题的 这里还有你

64
00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:22,044
就我一个人?

65
00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:24,847
也许我们可以做成名人店

66
00:03:24,847 --> 00:03:28,351
就像梅宫辰夫的泡菜店那样
卖手办之类的东西

67
00:03:28,351 --> 00:03:30,653
等等 我又不是名人

68
00:03:30,653 --> 00:03:32,722
咱俩可以轮流讲落语

69
00:03:32,722 --> 00:03:36,092
我白天讲 而你只在晚上讲

70
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:37,560
这样你就能照顾店铺了

71
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,731
问题是 我要是当了爸爸的弟子
那我算什么?开场戏演员吗?

72
00:03:41,731 --> 00:03:44,233
不可能 他不会从开场戏演员做起

73
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:47,403
是啊 他之前差点都成为真打了

74
00:03:47,403 --> 00:03:49,605
比开场戏演员更低的 还有实习生呢

75
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:50,740
什么?

76
00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:54,043
就算是自己儿子
我们也不会特殊照顾的

77
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:56,879
曾经退出过的人肯定还会再次逃离的

78
00:03:56,879 --> 00:03:59,682
绝不能让他那么一帆风顺

79
00:03:59,682 --> 00:04:02,818
那就是说他...

80
00:04:02,818 --> 00:04:04,654
级别要比你低多了

81
00:04:07,023 --> 00:04:08,190
他们就是这么说的

82
00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:09,292
不是吧

83
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,627
-那就超过我
-我会的

84
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,462
但你仍旧是我师兄

85
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,164
一辈子都是我师兄

86
00:04:15,164 --> 00:04:19,735
你总是说我无聊透顶
但你从没看过我的演出

87
00:04:19,735 --> 00:04:21,237
-我看过
-怎么样?

88
00:04:21,237 --> 00:04:23,873
其他人笑 我就跟着笑 但我不是很喜欢

89
00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:25,408
风格太老旧了

90
00:04:25,408 --> 00:04:28,077
我明白了
你就是我讨厌的那种运动员类型

91
00:04:28,077 --> 00:04:30,880
那种喜欢秀肌肉的

92
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,716
而且我觉得你表情很凶
小孩会被吓哭的

93
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,752
怎么...地震了?

94
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:39,422
可恶

95
00:04:39,922 --> 00:04:42,658
小虎脸都憋红了 跟个鸡鸡一样

96
00:04:44,126 --> 00:04:48,230
你们既然这么说
那就必须来亲眼看看了

97
00:04:50,966 --> 00:04:54,337
要是你们这个月不来看我讲落语
我就把这店给拆了

98
00:04:58,574 --> 00:05:00,076
我受够了

99
00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:01,277
这什么情况...

100
00:05:06,315 --> 00:05:07,817
(违章停车)

101
00:05:07,817 --> 00:05:13,222
-等等 我才刚停
-都已经停了两小时了

102
00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,990
我一直看着呢

103
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:17,293
求你了 我不能再吃罚单了

104
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:18,294
谁管你啊

105
00:05:18,294 --> 00:05:19,762
但这是我大哥的车

106
00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:23,733
金子?

107
00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:24,734
中谷?

108
00:05:25,735 --> 00:05:27,536
好久不见了 你刚才干什么去了

109
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:28,471
玩弹珠机

110
00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:30,406
能撤掉罚单吗?

111
00:05:30,406 --> 00:05:32,074
不行 我是警察

112
00:05:32,641 --> 00:05:36,946
你们黑道的车太帅了
所以我叫了交警

113
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,081
我也没办法 这是我职责所在

114
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,884
你今年要毕业了吗?

115
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:42,918
明年毕业

116
00:05:42,918 --> 00:05:45,654
你打算做什么?当黑道吗?

117
00:05:46,188 --> 00:05:47,656
我也没别的选择

118
00:05:48,257 --> 00:05:51,927
我完全不知道
你高中毕业后去当了警察

119
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:52,928
来吧

120
00:05:54,663 --> 00:05:55,731
那是...

121
00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:59,235
我在原宿买的 好看吧?

122
00:05:59,869 --> 00:06:02,438
当巡警真的很无聊

123
00:06:02,972 --> 00:06:06,842
要么就是来找我问路
要么就是去解决醉汉

124
00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:08,878
丢失的钱包永远都找不回来

125
00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:11,580
我在跟找到我钱包的妹子交往

126
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,215
她在龙之苏打打工

127
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:14,116
看

128
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喔

129
00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:16,952
哎呀?

130
00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:19,422
我身边没有女孩

131
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,957
只有粉红女郎来当了一天署长
就这些了

132
00:06:21,957 --> 00:06:23,526
粉红女郎?

133
00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:25,528
更像佩珀中士 而不是粉红女郎

134
00:06:25,528 --> 00:06:26,896
她们好不好?

135
00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:32,168
不好 绝对不算好

136
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,669
我们那时候都没出生呢

137
00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:38,007
我还想会是像柴田恭兵
这样更让人激动的

138
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:40,176
然而现实很骨感

139
00:06:40,876 --> 00:06:42,978
我甚至能理解那些收受贿赂的警察

140
00:06:42,978 --> 00:06:43,946
我该走了

141
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,781
怎么这么着急?

142
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,316
这么久没见了

143
00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:51,520
你们帮派贩卖毒品或枪支吗?

144
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,421
喂

145
00:06:52,922 --> 00:06:54,690
没事的

146
00:06:54,690 --> 00:06:57,726
你要是和警方有关系 是不会被抓的

147
00:06:58,327 --> 00:06:59,562
你们有在贩卖吗?

148
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:02,998
没有 老爸不喜欢这些东西

149
00:07:02,998 --> 00:07:05,334
真的吗?大错特错

150
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:08,504
下定决心 做个真正的日本黑道

151
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:11,407
做一些甚至会让你老爸惊讶的事情

152
00:07:13,943 --> 00:07:16,445
所以你有这方面的信息吗?

153
00:07:16,445 --> 00:07:18,214
他上钩了

154
00:07:18,214 --> 00:07:22,117
我厌倦要债了
大多数人都会乖乖还钱

155
00:07:22,117 --> 00:07:24,253
我也想做点影视剧里才有的事情

156
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:30,192
你们总部在新宿
你听说过神保组吗?

157
00:07:30,192 --> 00:07:33,963
听说过 他们差不多都在30岁左右

158
00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:37,399
他们是一群食人鱼 什么事都干

159
00:07:37,399 --> 00:07:40,970
而且他们的人数还在增加
他们有30多号人

160
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:41,904
怎么了?

161
00:07:41,904 --> 00:07:43,005
没事

162
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,440
重质不重量

163
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,610
我们虽然人少 那是什么?

164
00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:50,045
抱歉 我今天会去交罚款的

165
00:07:50,646 --> 00:07:53,148
好的 话说那个怎么样了...
佳丽吨?

166
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,686
-你是说家里蹲吗?
-我知道 我故意开玩笑的

167
00:07:58,787 --> 00:07:59,822
克服掉了吗?

168
00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:03,025
或许吧

169
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,327
我感觉自己找到方向了

170
00:08:05,327 --> 00:08:06,395
很好

171
00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:10,866
再见

172
00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:11,767
好

173
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:13,102
去把那个拿掉

174
00:08:13,102 --> 00:08:14,703
-好的
-再见

175
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:31,587
(今日阵容)

176
00:08:31,587 --> 00:08:34,723
(屯兵卫)

177
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:35,991
都等着你呢

178
00:08:40,596 --> 00:08:44,433
感谢各位来此捧场

179
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:49,204
最近啊 小偷们是越来越聪明了

180
00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:50,573
是出来心

181
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,107
他们甚至能用惊人的手法

182
00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:55,644
开启双重或三重锁

183
00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:58,948
这里用惊人可能不太合适

184
00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:04,119
我故事里的小偷

185
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:08,757
可不是那种会青史留名的

186
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:14,597
小偷青史留名听着就不合适

187
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,764
有一种既视感

188
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,367
你工作怎么样了?

189
00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:22,104
我已经振作起来了
我会尽我所能地干坏事

190
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:25,474
很好 儿子

191
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:28,243
要不要试试破门入室?

192
00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:29,878
破门入室?

193
00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:33,983
偷偷溜进空房子然后把东西拿走

194
00:09:33,983 --> 00:09:36,485
但那不是很不光彩吗?

195
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:39,521
蠢货 没有所谓光彩的小偷

196
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:45,194
找一间丈夫外出工作

197
00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:48,597
妻子出去买晚餐用品的空房子

198
00:09:48,597 --> 00:09:50,866
直接闯进去

199
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:54,303
首先 站在外面说 抱歉打扰了

200
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:55,871
万一他们在家怎么办

201
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:59,341
那就板着脸说点别的 比如...

202
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:02,611
你对现在的江户幕府有何看法?

203
00:10:02,611 --> 00:10:05,681
你不能问他们太难的问题

204
00:10:05,681 --> 00:10:07,916
就问些诸如

205
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:12,021
某某在这里住吗?

206
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:16,558
不管他们怎么回答
你说声谢谢马上离开就行

207
00:10:16,558 --> 00:10:17,960
万一我被抓了呢?

208
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,764
你要是被抓了现行 那逃跑是没用的

209
00:10:21,764 --> 00:10:24,767
那种情况下就哭着求饶吧

210
00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:25,968
哭着求饶?

211
00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:28,837
把你偷的东西都留下

212
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,439
边哭边跟他们讲

213
00:10:32,307 --> 00:10:35,477
我是个与母亲相依为命的工匠

214
00:10:35,477 --> 00:10:38,847
她已经病了三年多了

215
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,883
我没办法去工作

216
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,686
我们存的钱都花光了

217
00:10:44,486 --> 00:10:46,722
我已无法再承担医药费

218
00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:51,527
就在我感到痛苦之时
我碰巧经过这所房子

219
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:55,764
我看到门户大开
于是我一时冲动 就...

220
00:10:56,432 --> 00:10:59,468
流着眼泪 给他们讲这个悲伤的故事

221
00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:04,840
只要你说那是一时冲动
他们会同情你的

222
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,776
他们还可能给你钱帮你妈妈

223
00:11:07,776 --> 00:11:09,211
计划就是这样

224
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,979
我说抱歉打扰了

225
00:11:10,979 --> 00:11:15,551
要是有人回应 我就说是来找某某的

226
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,720
要是被抓了 我就说是一时冲动

227
00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:19,755
轻松写意

228
00:11:20,589 --> 00:11:21,657
抱歉打扰了

229
00:11:23,092 --> 00:11:24,560
抱歉打扰了

230
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,428
(兜裆布祭)

231
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:27,563
干什么?

232
00:11:29,031 --> 00:11:31,033
这屋子什么时候会没人在?

233
00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:38,307
这里的气氛越来越热烈了
所以我们要痛饮到天明

234
00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:42,311
那我之后再来

235
00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,613
等等 小子

236
00:11:44,613 --> 00:11:46,915
回来 你到底是谁?

237
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,317
谢谢

238
00:11:48,317 --> 00:11:49,818
那是什么?

239
00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:53,889
某某在这里吗?

240
00:11:53,889 --> 00:11:55,057
什么?

241
00:11:55,057 --> 00:11:57,493
没事 谢谢

242
00:11:57,493 --> 00:12:00,362
什么没事?他简直莫名其妙

243
00:12:00,362 --> 00:12:01,897
我们怎么做 老大?

244
00:12:01,897 --> 00:12:03,098
干掉他

245
00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:13,041
等等 我想起来了

246
00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:14,276
怎么了?

247
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:16,779
是西乡兵卫 你们认识西乡兵卫吗?

248
00:12:17,412 --> 00:12:19,114
西乡兵卫

249
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:20,983
他怎么可能在这里

250
00:12:20,983 --> 00:12:21,884
他就在这里

251
00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:25,854
西乡兵卫 有人找你

252
00:12:29,424 --> 00:12:31,026
你是西乡兵卫?

253
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:36,031
对 你有什么事?

254
00:12:36,031 --> 00:12:38,300
有人让我代他想你问好

255
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,168
谁?

256
00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:40,068
我

257
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,004
干掉他

258
00:12:44,907 --> 00:12:47,242
我只是一时冲动

259
00:12:47,242 --> 00:12:50,078
一时冲动

260
00:12:50,078 --> 00:12:52,481
一时冲动

261
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:53,816
真的对不起

262
00:12:59,354 --> 00:13:01,156
可恶 我搞错了

263
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,258
神保组在第二个街区

264
00:13:03,258 --> 00:13:05,627
他们在那里藏了一些危险的东西

265
00:13:05,627 --> 00:13:08,530
如果你知道那么多
你为什么不亲自逮捕他们?

266
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:11,033
笨蛋 功劳又不会算在我头上

267
00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:13,302
我的上级会把功劳都据为己有的

268
00:13:14,102 --> 00:13:15,003
那么该怎么办?

269
00:13:16,271 --> 00:13:21,009
找出他们的目的 然后勒索他们

270
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:22,811
就咱俩?

271
00:13:22,811 --> 00:13:24,446
金子和银次郎

272
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,515
金和银?

273
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:28,083
金子是金

274
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,818
-银次郎是银
-够了

275
00:13:29,818 --> 00:13:30,886
所以?

276
00:13:31,787 --> 00:13:32,955
对流星会来说

277
00:13:32,955 --> 00:13:35,424
这也是个除去对手的绝佳机会

278
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:40,495
你要问我是不是的话...

279
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:42,965
应该是吧

280
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:44,499
(新宿警署)

281
00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:46,869
你真的去了?白痴

282
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:47,970
什么?

283
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:49,304
开玩笑的 抱歉

284
00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:51,406
找到东西了吗?

285
00:13:51,406 --> 00:13:54,476
没有 地图是错的

286
00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:58,547
你现在能看到什么建筑?

287
00:14:00,182 --> 00:14:01,049
寿司店

288
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,085
巷子里有一栋公寓

289
00:14:03,085 --> 00:14:06,221
房号是101 抓紧时间 要赶在他们回来之前

290
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,123
要是再不对 我就宰了你

291
00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,562
抱歉打扰了

292
00:14:15,264 --> 00:14:19,001
多么混乱肮脏的地方

293
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:21,503
什么值得一拿的东西都没有

294
00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:23,171
天啊

295
00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:25,340
怎么有条兜裆布?

296
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:26,642
拿着吧

297
00:14:26,642 --> 00:14:28,343
你也太放松了吧

298
00:14:28,343 --> 00:14:30,212
还有别的东西吗?

299
00:14:30,212 --> 00:14:31,346
没了

300
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,853
什么?粥?

301
00:14:38,387 --> 00:14:40,422
怪不得什么都没有

302
00:14:46,561 --> 00:14:47,796
真好吃

303
00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:51,767
也可能是我太饿了
但这东西真的好吃到爆

304
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,203
太美味了

305
00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:57,172
他表演得真好啊

306
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:58,740
我都感觉到饿了

307
00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,542
糟了 他们回来了

308
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:08,550
他那表情真疯狂

309
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:26,101
喂?

310
00:15:29,237 --> 00:15:30,472
不太对劲

311
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:33,075
我内裤呢?

312
00:15:33,075 --> 00:15:35,544
有人吃我的点心了

313
00:15:35,544 --> 00:15:38,714
蠢货 我跟你说了要锁门

314
00:15:38,714 --> 00:15:42,017
我的点心 我的点心没了

315
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:52,527
难道是...

316
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,264
有什么问题吗?

317
00:15:56,932 --> 00:15:57,933
什么事都没有

318
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,035
我刚刚接到报警...

319
00:16:00,035 --> 00:16:01,370
来得正是时候

320
00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:02,804
说附近有人闲逛

321
00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,573
我谁都没看到啊 你呢?

322
00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:06,108
咱们出去吧

323
00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:07,242
好的

324
00:16:07,242 --> 00:16:09,644
最近我们老是接到这类报警

325
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,547
是丢了什么东西吗?

326
00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:13,682
没有

327
00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:25,927
哈? 一张DVD光盘?

328
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,535
对的

329
00:16:34,636 --> 00:16:36,271
什么东西?全都打了马赛克

330
00:16:36,271 --> 00:16:38,440
对

331
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,708
到底是什么东西啊?

332
00:16:40,976 --> 00:16:42,444
对什么?

333
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,013
对

334
00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:48,450
马赛克没了

335
00:16:54,489 --> 00:16:57,325
这...这太疯狂了

336
00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,633
发现新大陆了

337
00:17:04,633 --> 00:17:06,935
太好看了

338
00:17:19,114 --> 00:17:21,483
-是盗版色情片
-成人DVD

339
00:17:21,483 --> 00:17:23,852
我不管 根本就没有毒品或枪支

340
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,254
我也没说过他们有啊

341
00:17:27,022 --> 00:17:28,490
你是没说

342
00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:31,927
但你那种说法
怎么想都会觉得是毒品或枪支啊

343
00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:34,996
笨蛋 别人都听见你说话了

344
00:17:36,865 --> 00:17:38,100
抱歉

345
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,636
所以他们进口了大量无码外国色情片

346
00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:43,238
给它们配音 然后出售

347
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,974
前两分钟打码了 对吧?

348
00:17:45,974 --> 00:17:47,209
对

349
00:17:47,209 --> 00:17:49,311
然后马赛克就消失了

350
00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:51,179
这就是他们掩饰的方法

351
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,851
总之 咱们拿到了针对他们的证据

352
00:17:55,851 --> 00:17:58,887
现在咱们可以勒索神保组了

353
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,990
就咱俩?金先生和银先生?

354
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:03,358
-是啊
-够了

355
00:18:03,358 --> 00:18:05,927
我才不要做这种无聊的事

356
00:18:06,995 --> 00:18:10,065
不见了 我的兜裆布不见了

357
00:18:11,066 --> 00:18:16,638
小偷没事干吗?偷我这种穷人

358
00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:22,277
等等 管理员一直要求我支付欠款

359
00:18:22,277 --> 00:18:23,745
我可以此作为借口

360
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:28,817
我会告诉他钱被偷了
这样他就不会让我还钱了

361
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:29,918
我给他打个电话

362
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:31,253
等等

363
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:32,954
-管理人是什么?
-就是房东

364
00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:35,157
-房东 那欠款又是什么?
-是房租

365
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,525
那你直说不就行了

366
00:18:36,525 --> 00:18:37,592
自作聪明

367
00:18:37,592 --> 00:18:39,694
无所谓啦 这到底是什么情况?

368
00:18:39,694 --> 00:18:41,863
-这是在干什么?
-好了 继续吧

369
00:18:42,731 --> 00:18:45,133
我本来应该在约会的

370
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:48,170
你怎么能在这种鬼地方跟人约会

371
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,404
这房间怎么了?

372
00:18:49,404 --> 00:18:51,773
即使是电视真人秀
也不会想在这破地方拍

373
00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:54,176
而且还是三人共享一个房间

374
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,377
不是很有意思吗?

375
00:18:56,278 --> 00:18:57,512
真的吗?

376
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,514
我们可以了 继续吧

377
00:19:02,050 --> 00:19:06,488
为什么我要在女友和她前男友面前
讲落语啊?

378
00:19:06,488 --> 00:19:09,524
前男友?小虎不是前男友

379
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,659
我们就是做了两次而已

380
00:19:10,659 --> 00:19:11,693
我能继续了吗?

381
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:14,629
现在我知道那些词的意思了
从那里继续讲吧

382
00:19:14,629 --> 00:19:17,599
管理员 我的房间被抢了

383
00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:20,669
小偷 管理员 小偷 管理员

384
00:19:21,236 --> 00:19:23,171
什么 小偷管理员?

385
00:19:23,171 --> 00:19:25,507
不是 是我被抢了

386
00:19:25,507 --> 00:19:26,741
丢什么东西了吗?

387
00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:29,211
他们把我欠款偷走了

388
00:19:31,313 --> 00:19:33,014
而且不止欠款

389
00:19:33,014 --> 00:19:34,616
所有东西都被偷了

390
00:19:35,183 --> 00:19:40,222
明白了 跟我说一下都有什么吧

391
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,490
-什么?
-所有东西都被偷了不是吗?

392
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,292
我们需要上报

393
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:47,562
你不用担心

394
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:49,331
我不能坐视不管

395
00:19:50,031 --> 00:19:55,437
当局将发布公告
有时他们会找到被偷的东西

396
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,405
然后归还?

397
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,140
如果找到了就会还给失主

398
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:05,780
太好了
那请记一下 是一条越中兜裆布

399
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:09,050
我不能给当局上报这东西

400
00:20:10,385 --> 00:20:11,686
那床垫如何?

401
00:20:11,686 --> 00:20:14,289
偷了这么大的东西

402
00:20:14,289 --> 00:20:15,557
给我描述一下

403
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:17,559
你的床垫是什么样的 先生

404
00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:19,794
我的床垫上有蔓藤花纹

405
00:20:19,794 --> 00:20:22,764
那我的也是有蔓藤花纹的床垫

406
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:25,000
别照搬我的

407
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,501
里面呢?

408
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:27,602
断头路

409
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,605
不是在说巷子 是床垫的里面

410
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,506
你的是什么样的

411
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:35,176
我的是用结实温暖的靛蓝棉做的

412
00:20:35,176 --> 00:20:38,780
那我的也是用
结实温暖的靛蓝棉做的

413
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:40,649
还丢了什么?

414
00:20:40,649 --> 00:20:42,617
一条发带

415
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:46,554
发带是什么?是说博多腰带吧?

416
00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:49,391
你还有这么好的腰带

417
00:20:49,391 --> 00:20:52,193
它什么样?

418
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:54,663
正面有蔓藤花纹 里面是靛蓝色的

419
00:20:54,663 --> 00:20:57,098
腰带没有里面

420
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,535
它很结实 是用温暖的棉花做的

421
00:21:00,535 --> 00:21:02,037
还丢了什么

422
00:21:02,037 --> 00:21:03,605
一柄剑

423
00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:04,639
一柄剑?

424
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,441
是的 里面是点蓝色的

425
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:08,176
行了 别说了

426
00:21:08,176 --> 00:21:11,913
怎么了 小虎?学得这么快

427
00:21:11,913 --> 00:21:13,081
是吧 屯太?

428
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,418
我听得睡着了

429
00:21:16,418 --> 00:21:17,819
你进步了

430
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:18,887
谢谢

431
00:21:18,887 --> 00:21:20,121
谁教你的?

432
00:21:21,289 --> 00:21:22,123
什么?

433
00:21:22,123 --> 00:21:24,893
你的出来心

434
00:21:25,527 --> 00:21:27,329
和我的有些不一样

435
00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:33,001
你偷了一个关于偷窃的落语故事
这可不是一时冲动

436
00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:36,004
别装无辜 你个小偷

437
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:39,874
跟我说实话 你跟谁学的?

438
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,078
龙二

439
00:21:43,078 --> 00:21:44,946
你怎么想的啊?

440
00:21:44,946 --> 00:21:47,349
别怪他 是我让他教的

441
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,185
小虎 你学落语的时候

442
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:52,520
不能随便跟别人学

443
00:21:53,221 --> 00:21:54,289
你知道为什么吗?

444
00:21:54,889 --> 00:21:57,959
每个表演者都有自己的癖好和习惯

445
00:21:58,626 --> 00:22:01,863
即使是笑点都会有所不同

446
00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:02,764
所以...

447
00:22:03,298 --> 00:22:04,199
阿屯?

448
00:22:04,799 --> 00:22:06,768
爸爸 你去哪里?

449
00:22:06,768 --> 00:22:09,337
小虎 跟我来

450
00:22:12,907 --> 00:22:15,243
-阿龙
-怎么了?

451
00:22:16,144 --> 00:22:18,313
小虎能顺利演出吗?

452
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:20,048
唉...

453
00:22:20,849 --> 00:22:24,319
别担心 我相信小虎肯定可以的

454
00:22:27,689 --> 00:22:28,690
刘先生

455
00:22:29,457 --> 00:22:30,358
怎么了 阿龙?

456
00:22:31,526 --> 00:22:34,529
你是从中国跑过来阻止我亲热的吗?

457
00:22:36,364 --> 00:22:38,566
请不要

458
00:22:40,969 --> 00:22:42,404
-师父
-怎么了?

459
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:43,805
你生我的气吗?

460
00:22:45,874 --> 00:22:47,876
我跟你说了 我没生气

461
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,312
-明白了
-好的

462
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,683
我在其他徒弟面前说不出口

463
00:22:56,985 --> 00:23:00,855
但你想提升自己的技巧是个好事

464
00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:05,493
现在 我们先不讨论龙二的落语水平

465
00:23:05,493 --> 00:23:07,095
为什么要在脱衣舞俱乐部?

466
00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:08,396
算是帮你补习一下

467
00:23:08,963 --> 00:23:12,700
实际上 出来心有两个不同笑点

468
00:23:14,302 --> 00:23:17,038
其一是 小偷从藏身处跑了出来说道

469
00:23:17,038 --> 00:23:20,375
我简直不敢相信听到的东西

470
00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:24,712
全是假话 什么靛蓝棉?

471
00:23:24,712 --> 00:23:28,383
别说床垫了 连一件短衣都没有

472
00:23:28,383 --> 00:23:30,452
喂 你就是小偷吧

473
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:33,555
喔 对 我是小偷

474
00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:39,427
我母亲已经病了三年多了

475
00:23:41,062 --> 00:23:43,398
我是一时冲动闯了进来

476
00:23:44,399 --> 00:23:46,835
我该哭一下的...

477
00:23:48,903 --> 00:23:52,907
你肯定是个生手小偷吧

478
00:23:53,842 --> 00:23:55,944
如果是一时冲动 那也没办法

479
00:23:56,511 --> 00:23:59,514
而你 八公

480
00:24:00,048 --> 00:24:02,517
你为什么要说谎?

481
00:24:04,085 --> 00:24:07,489
我也是一时冲动

482
00:24:10,124 --> 00:24:12,093
这是A版本的

483
00:24:13,061 --> 00:24:14,562
下面是B版本

484
00:24:15,230 --> 00:24:18,166
我是一时冲动闯了进来

485
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,601
我该哭一下的...

486
00:24:21,769 --> 00:24:24,572
你肯定是个生手小偷

487
00:24:24,572 --> 00:24:26,374
到这里为止还都是一样的

488
00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:29,010
你怎么闯进来的?

489
00:24:30,111 --> 00:24:31,913
我从后面进来的

490
00:24:31,913 --> 00:24:33,781
后面?什么后面?

491
00:24:33,781 --> 00:24:37,318
后面...后面是靛蓝棉的

492
00:24:41,389 --> 00:24:42,757
更喜欢这个吗?

493
00:24:42,757 --> 00:24:44,158
也不是

494
00:24:44,158 --> 00:24:45,426
这样啊

495
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:51,099
实际上我更喜欢这个版本

496
00:24:51,099 --> 00:24:53,768
但我不会在舞台上演

497
00:24:53,768 --> 00:24:54,702
为什么?

498
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:57,338
因为这是阿谦讲的

499
00:24:57,939 --> 00:24:58,940
阿谦?

500
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,644
你的老大 中谷谦

501
00:25:04,112 --> 00:25:05,046
实际上

502
00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:06,748
30多年前...

503
00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:10,885
我们还一起在这个舞台上表演

504
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:12,287
-什么?
-是的

505
00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:17,191
光说传统落语是不够的

506
00:25:18,059 --> 00:25:19,961
所以我说服阿谦

507
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:24,799
和我一起在这里兼职演小品

508
00:25:24,799 --> 00:25:27,235
你干什么?我没喝醉

509
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,206
你在干什么?

510
00:25:32,206 --> 00:25:33,775
只是做我的本职工作

511
00:25:33,775 --> 00:25:35,843
请你再做一下吧?

512
00:25:35,843 --> 00:25:36,778
做什么?

513
00:25:36,778 --> 00:25:38,346
走直线

514
00:25:38,346 --> 00:25:41,115
我不走直线 我是黑道

515
00:25:41,115 --> 00:25:42,984
我从不走直线

516
00:25:42,984 --> 00:25:44,552
赶紧走起来

517
00:25:44,552 --> 00:25:45,820
好的

518
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:47,589
小心点

519
00:25:47,589 --> 00:25:51,359
我们两个的中谷中组合
在那时还挺出名

520
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,561
听起来就像小木矢作组合一样

521
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:57,165
抱歉

522
00:26:00,768 --> 00:26:03,605
要不是因为我太过自大还做了些蠢事

523
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:07,909
阿谦现在可能还是个搞笑艺人

524
00:26:08,543 --> 00:26:09,844
你又做了什么吗?

525
00:26:11,245 --> 00:26:15,316
虽然他没表现出来 但他讨厌失败

526
00:26:15,316 --> 00:26:18,453
我们一起表演时 都是我引观众发笑

527
00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:21,623
他可能不太甘心

528
00:26:22,190 --> 00:26:25,159
所以他突然不按台本演
开始自行发挥了

529
00:26:25,827 --> 00:26:28,830
你要是坚持认为自己没喝醉的话
我有个建议

530
00:26:28,830 --> 00:26:29,764
什么?

531
00:26:29,764 --> 00:26:32,300
来表演个模仿 我就放你走

532
00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:33,935
阿谦?

533
00:26:33,935 --> 00:26:34,969
模仿大熊猫

534
00:26:35,603 --> 00:26:38,506
模仿上野动物园的大熊猫

535
00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:42,010
他可能是想

536
00:26:42,010 --> 00:26:43,878
让我出丑

537
00:26:44,379 --> 00:26:47,915
但相反 我表现极佳

538
00:26:47,915 --> 00:26:50,818
引得观众哄堂大笑

539
00:26:53,421 --> 00:26:57,558
我觉得这就是阿谦

540
00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:59,260
放弃当搞笑艺人的原因

541
00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:03,598
下次再见面时 他已经名扬新宿了

542
00:27:03,598 --> 00:27:05,400
我对自己的所作所为很抱歉

543
00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:09,237
我真的很对不起他

544
00:27:10,471 --> 00:27:14,709
他认为自己没有搞笑天赋

545
00:27:15,677 --> 00:27:18,613
不过他要是没放弃的话

546
00:27:20,214 --> 00:27:22,550
也不会成为黑道

547
00:27:23,284 --> 00:27:26,454
咱们两个也不会相遇

548
00:27:27,722 --> 00:27:28,756
也许吧

549
00:27:31,325 --> 00:27:34,328
所以小虎 即使你不当黑道了

550
00:27:34,896 --> 00:27:38,199
也不要忘记对他心存感激

551
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,638
多亏了阿谦你才能有今天

552
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,610
所以你在台上时
你是代替他的位置上台的

553
00:27:50,178 --> 00:27:52,547
一定要牢记这点

554
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:53,448
好

555
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:56,617
抱歉讲了这么忧郁的故事

556
00:27:56,617 --> 00:28:00,221
出来心让我想起了这些往事

557
00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:03,157
我猜这也是种冲动吧

558
00:28:05,460 --> 00:28:06,294
真傻

559
00:28:06,294 --> 00:28:07,195
什么?

560
00:28:08,162 --> 00:28:09,697
你和我老大

561
00:28:11,065 --> 00:28:13,167
曾经就像虎与龙一样吧

562
00:28:14,102 --> 00:28:15,636
没那么厉害

563
00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:18,339
更像是跳蚤和虱子

564
00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:32,320
所以我今天去不了

565
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,055
为什么?又没有顾客

566
00:28:34,055 --> 00:28:35,289
我明天去

567
00:28:35,289 --> 00:28:37,091
今天必须去

568
00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:39,494
屯吉和他未婚妻旅行去了

569
00:28:39,494 --> 00:28:41,195
所以我是倒数第二个上场

570
00:28:41,195 --> 00:28:42,363
不仅如此

571
00:28:42,897 --> 00:28:43,731
什么?

572
00:28:45,233 --> 00:28:47,034
还有电视台的人来录像

573
00:28:47,034 --> 00:28:51,239
大家听好 不要因为有电视台的人来

574
00:28:51,239 --> 00:28:53,608
而太过兴奋

575
00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:57,011
-像往常一样表演就好
-好的 先生

576
00:28:57,011 --> 00:28:58,412
我可以给你画眉吗?

577
00:28:58,412 --> 00:28:59,781
拜托了

578
00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:01,449
也给我画一下

579
00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:05,887
最近落语很流行
很久没电视台的人来了

580
00:29:05,887 --> 00:29:07,288
好像我很在乎一样

581
00:29:08,089 --> 00:29:11,359
什么?今天下午三点开始
你最好给我到场

582
00:29:11,359 --> 00:29:13,361
干什么?放开我

583
00:29:13,361 --> 00:29:15,129
最近银银怎么样了?

584
00:29:15,663 --> 00:29:18,166
我这几天没见过他 怎么了?

585
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,868
我该怎么做?

586
00:29:20,868 --> 00:29:22,570
该不该告诉他?

587
00:29:24,038 --> 00:29:25,139
什么?

588
00:29:28,075 --> 00:29:31,078
这是什么东西?
不敢相信你居然看这种东西

589
00:29:31,078 --> 00:29:34,782
-冷静点
-你可是有女朋友的人

590
00:29:34,782 --> 00:29:37,318
为什么要看色情片

591
00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:39,821
不是的 不是你想的那样

592
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:45,193
这很重要...这是证据

593
00:29:45,193 --> 00:29:48,830
是重要的证据

594
00:29:49,463 --> 00:29:51,299
有个叫神保组的黑帮

595
00:29:51,299 --> 00:29:53,668
他们贩卖枪支毒品

596
00:29:54,202 --> 00:29:58,472
这就是个...伪装

597
00:29:58,472 --> 00:30:02,677
他们可能会把毒品藏在光盘盒里

598
00:30:02,677 --> 00:30:04,312
真的吗?

599
00:30:04,879 --> 00:30:07,281
所以你不能告诉任何人

600
00:30:07,281 --> 00:30:08,883
包括你爸爸 你兄弟

601
00:30:08,883 --> 00:30:09,951
这是咱们两人间的秘密

602
00:30:11,786 --> 00:30:14,255
而且真的很疼

603
00:30:14,255 --> 00:30:16,390
银银说他掌握了证据

604
00:30:16,390 --> 00:30:20,228
他要从神保组那里拿封口费

605
00:30:20,228 --> 00:30:22,196
那个白痴想什么呢?

606
00:30:22,196 --> 00:30:25,566
是啊 银根本没有那个胆子

607
00:30:25,566 --> 00:30:29,203
他又笨发型又搞笑 我有些害怕

608
00:30:29,737 --> 00:30:31,105
所以我报警了

609
00:30:34,342 --> 00:30:35,543
没人出现

610
00:30:39,347 --> 00:30:40,248
收到

611
00:30:41,048 --> 00:30:41,883
这是在干什么?

612
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:42,783
房屋搜查

613
00:30:42,783 --> 00:30:46,420
我们接到匿名报警电话
说神保组藏匿枪支毒品

614
00:30:48,422 --> 00:30:49,557
真的吗?

615
00:30:49,557 --> 00:30:50,958
怎么回事?

616
00:30:53,828 --> 00:30:55,062
他们怎么发现的?

617
00:30:55,963 --> 00:30:56,898
我很抱歉

618
00:30:57,732 --> 00:31:02,436
那天有个警察过来说有可疑分子...

619
00:31:02,436 --> 00:31:05,006
-可疑分子?
-我们没看到有...

620
00:31:13,547 --> 00:31:15,683
喂?嘿

621
00:31:15,683 --> 00:31:18,152
闭嘴 莉萨都跟我说了

622
00:31:18,152 --> 00:31:21,088
那是骗她的 没事了

623
00:31:21,622 --> 00:31:25,826
她差点撞见我打飞机 我当面撒谎

624
00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:30,598
现在?我吃午饭呢

625
00:31:33,968 --> 00:31:35,269
银次郎?

626
00:31:37,638 --> 00:31:38,572
银次郎

627
00:31:41,575 --> 00:31:45,112
(小虎)

628
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:47,114
都等你上场呢

629
00:31:50,151 --> 00:31:52,954
大家好 我是JUMP亭JUMP

630
00:31:52,954 --> 00:31:54,855
我最爱跳高比赛了

631
00:31:54,855 --> 00:31:56,924
什么 是少年JUMP

632
00:31:56,924 --> 00:31:59,961
小虎呢?

633
00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:12,540
你们组就没好好教育过年轻人吗?

634
00:32:13,941 --> 00:32:16,610
派个说得上话的人过来

635
00:32:18,679 --> 00:32:21,949
银次郎 你这是惹了什么祸?

636
00:32:22,917 --> 00:32:25,152
-走吧 山崎
-是 先生

637
00:32:31,726 --> 00:32:32,560
我也去

638
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,395
他们就是些小流氓

639
00:32:34,395 --> 00:32:35,830
他们不配让你出马

640
00:32:35,830 --> 00:32:36,998
别傻了

641
00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:39,567
哪里有父亲不担心儿子的

642
00:32:44,038 --> 00:32:46,007
他是我小弟

643
00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:48,943
小虎

644
00:32:53,948 --> 00:32:54,882
我是山崎

645
00:32:54,882 --> 00:32:57,218
闭嘴 你的演出怎么办?

646
00:32:57,218 --> 00:33:00,054
抱歉 我得晚些过去

647
00:33:00,054 --> 00:33:01,689
那个深沉的嗓音是怎么回事?

648
00:33:02,723 --> 00:33:05,059
小虎 你是不可替代的

649
00:33:05,059 --> 00:33:07,194
怎么了?

650
00:33:07,194 --> 00:33:11,999
快回来 大家都在等你呢

651
00:33:11,999 --> 00:33:15,836
小虎?喂?

652
00:33:15,836 --> 00:33:19,006
你在干什么?喂?

653
00:33:19,006 --> 00:33:19,907
怎么了?

654
00:33:19,907 --> 00:33:21,909
喂?

655
00:33:25,346 --> 00:33:27,448
下一位应该已经准备就绪了

656
00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:34,688
最后唱首歌

657
00:33:34,688 --> 00:33:38,059
当然是范海伦的JUMP了

658
00:33:38,059 --> 00:33:40,027
够了吧 又是JUMP

659
00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:43,497
我给各位讲一个简短的故事

660
00:33:43,497 --> 00:33:47,334
小龙 好久没见你来过了

661
00:33:47,334 --> 00:33:48,302
别那么大声

662
00:33:48,302 --> 00:33:49,770
小虎呢?

663
00:33:50,604 --> 00:33:52,173
还没出场

664
00:33:55,876 --> 00:33:57,678
准备好了吗 小虎?

665
00:33:58,946 --> 00:33:59,814
是的 先生

666
00:34:03,551 --> 00:34:06,153
JUMP亭JUMP快演完了

667
00:34:06,153 --> 00:34:08,456
没办法了 只能我上了

668
00:34:08,456 --> 00:34:11,358
屯钝 给我买些晾衣夹和炸鱼饼

669
00:34:11,358 --> 00:34:13,027
-还是我上吧
-阿屯

670
00:34:13,027 --> 00:34:16,363
不行的 你要是上了 小虎就得作为压轴上场了

671
00:34:16,363 --> 00:34:18,332
谁说我要表演落语了

672
00:34:18,332 --> 00:34:20,534
我绝不会把压轴拱手让人

673
00:34:28,676 --> 00:34:29,910
老爸?

674
00:34:39,653 --> 00:34:42,156
开始音乐表演了

675
00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:49,563
阿屯

676
00:35:12,419 --> 00:35:14,088
看来我也没得选了

677
00:35:20,361 --> 00:35:22,396
我唱了歌 我唱出了我的心声

678
00:35:23,564 --> 00:35:26,767
观众们很感动 感觉很棒

679
00:35:26,767 --> 00:35:27,935
你也去唱首歌吧

680
00:35:27,935 --> 00:35:29,770
不了 我可没那个水平

681
00:35:31,138 --> 00:35:32,006
小虎呢?

682
00:35:32,006 --> 00:35:32,907
还没来

683
00:35:32,907 --> 00:35:35,409
搞什么?我要把他逐出师门

684
00:35:35,409 --> 00:35:38,045
晾衣夹和炸鱼饼呢?

685
00:35:38,045 --> 00:35:39,980
-我没买
-阿屯

686
00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:42,116
-怎么了?
-有人在舞台上讲话

687
00:35:42,716 --> 00:35:43,551
什么?

688
00:35:43,551 --> 00:35:47,955
空乘人员一遍又一遍地说着同样的话

689
00:35:47,955 --> 00:35:49,957
这是你的手巾

690
00:35:49,957 --> 00:35:53,961
这是你的手巾

691
00:35:53,961 --> 00:35:56,497
然后他看到了我的脸 结结巴巴地说

692
00:35:56,497 --> 00:35:58,933
这是你的手

693
00:35:58,933 --> 00:36:01,202
我真的非常抱歉 先生

694
00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:03,270
阿谦

695
00:36:03,270 --> 00:36:04,405
那是谁

696
00:36:05,706 --> 00:36:09,043
一个来自关西的天才
仔细听他讲 好好学习一下

697
00:36:09,677 --> 00:36:13,881
因为我的长相 连路人都觉得

698
00:36:13,881 --> 00:36:17,718
我肯定是干那一行的

699
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:22,356
所以当我走过他们的时候

700
00:36:22,356 --> 00:36:26,927
我能感到背后有什么动静

701
00:36:26,927 --> 00:36:30,030
所以我转头一看
有个家伙正在做这个

702
00:36:30,831 --> 00:36:34,635
那一刻 我们四目相对

703
00:36:35,703 --> 00:36:38,072
他用手指做了这个动作

704
00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:43,377
他很有趣 但不适合上电视

705
00:36:51,118 --> 00:36:52,019
小虎

706
00:36:53,821 --> 00:36:55,723
怎么回事?

707
00:36:56,957 --> 00:36:59,026
非常抱歉我来晚了

708
00:36:59,026 --> 00:37:01,695
小虎 怎么了?是谁干的?

709
00:37:01,695 --> 00:37:04,832
谁帮我拿一下和服

710
00:37:04,832 --> 00:37:06,600
去拿和服

711
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,702
你这个样子去演出?

712
00:37:08,702 --> 00:37:11,338
是的 虽然膝盖可能跪不下去

713
00:37:11,338 --> 00:37:12,940
但有电视台的人来

714
00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:14,508
闭嘴

715
00:37:16,143 --> 00:37:17,578
帮我解开皮带

716
00:37:17,578 --> 00:37:19,179
是这个 这个

717
00:37:19,179 --> 00:37:20,748
帮我脱鞋

718
00:37:20,748 --> 00:37:23,884
上次 我乘坐了新干线火车

719
00:37:23,884 --> 00:37:26,053
当你上了新干线...

720
00:37:29,523 --> 00:37:32,993
我的演出到此为止
下次我会继续讲述这个故事

721
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:47,541
抱歉 我来晚了

722
00:37:55,049 --> 00:37:58,018
笨蛋 我才刚说了开场白而已

723
00:38:09,029 --> 00:38:10,030
阿谦

724
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,033
谢谢你

725
00:38:17,237 --> 00:38:18,339
非常感谢

726
00:38:22,242 --> 00:38:25,446
照顾自己人是老大的责任

727
00:38:30,617 --> 00:38:32,786
快点 人呢

728
00:38:33,821 --> 00:38:34,955
他来了

729
00:38:37,891 --> 00:38:38,992
小虎

730
00:38:38,992 --> 00:38:41,695
怎么回事?
这是刚打完比赛的拳击手吗?

731
00:39:00,647 --> 00:39:02,383
抱歉 刚刚摔了一跤

732
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,788
现在的年轻人真不会说话

733
00:39:08,422 --> 00:39:11,959
他们只会说好或不好 多无聊啊?

734
00:39:11,959 --> 00:39:14,228
老虎 老虎 大睡虎

735
00:39:24,037 --> 00:39:25,272
看来这段效果不行啊

736
00:39:27,474 --> 00:39:29,443
一个黑道老大的儿子充满了野心

737
00:39:29,443 --> 00:39:30,911
这是我要讲的主要故事

738
00:39:31,512 --> 00:39:35,682
他决定和一个狡猾的警员联手

739
00:39:35,682 --> 00:39:38,352
潜入敌对组织内部

740
00:39:38,352 --> 00:39:42,122
由于他的冲动 悲剧发生了

741
00:39:42,122 --> 00:39:44,024
是出来心

742
00:39:44,024 --> 00:39:46,560
他并未发现什么危险的高价值物品

743
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,262
只是发现了一大堆光盘

744
00:39:48,262 --> 00:39:49,029
这是什么?

745
00:39:49,029 --> 00:39:52,966
他决定不管怎样先拿一张光盘回去
结果发现

746
00:39:52,966 --> 00:39:55,736
光盘内容是裸体的金发美女

747
00:39:56,303 --> 00:39:58,539
也就是被称为A片的东西

748
00:39:58,539 --> 00:40:03,177
虽然这也是违法的
但只发现光盘并没什么意思

749
00:40:03,177 --> 00:40:06,447
于是他便散布谣言称
在对手窝点发现了毒品和枪支

750
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:09,016
对方听到风声后把他抓了起来

751
00:40:09,016 --> 00:40:11,752
不如按传统方法来把你手指剁掉吧

752
00:40:12,419 --> 00:40:13,320
黑二代?

753
00:40:16,223 --> 00:40:17,658
你看什么呢?

754
00:40:18,358 --> 00:40:20,561
这可是你挑起来的

755
00:40:26,533 --> 00:40:28,602
举起手来

756
00:40:28,602 --> 00:40:31,805
我是新宿警署的...

757
00:40:31,805 --> 00:40:32,706
让开

758
00:40:36,009 --> 00:40:37,644
你小子是谁?

759
00:40:37,644 --> 00:40:39,513
两个能跟你说得上话的人

760
00:40:39,513 --> 00:40:40,514
大哥

761
00:40:40,514 --> 00:40:42,316
把他交还给我们

762
00:40:43,884 --> 00:40:45,953
我说了把他交还给我们

763
00:40:55,162 --> 00:40:57,431
简直和电影一样

764
00:40:58,565 --> 00:41:00,267
20人对两人

765
00:41:00,267 --> 00:41:04,271
看起来似乎是一边倒的局面
但两人都是身经百战的战士

766
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:07,174
他们就好像是在通过打斗

767
00:41:07,174 --> 00:41:08,108
释放压力

768
00:41:09,643 --> 00:41:11,411
那人可不是我

769
00:41:11,411 --> 00:41:15,382
多亏了二把手
他们救出了老大的儿子

770
00:41:15,382 --> 00:41:18,619
卖A片的敌对组织也被逮捕了

771
00:41:22,489 --> 00:41:23,390
你没事吧?

772
00:41:23,390 --> 00:41:24,958
当然有事了 蠢货

773
00:41:26,994 --> 00:41:29,162
我之后还有个重要的演出

774
00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:33,033
真正的黑帮火拼太刺激了
我都被吓死了

775
00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:34,635
你叫什么?

776
00:41:34,635 --> 00:41:35,536
我叫金子 先生

777
00:41:35,536 --> 00:41:37,004
-金子
-是 先生

778
00:41:37,004 --> 00:41:40,507
你如果真想证明自己
就不要去利用他人

779
00:41:41,642 --> 00:41:43,911
为什么把我们重要的二代扯进来?

780
00:41:43,911 --> 00:41:46,113
-该怎么说呢...
-什么怎么说?

781
00:41:46,113 --> 00:41:47,281
抱歉

782
00:41:47,814 --> 00:41:50,617
是一时冲动 我以为可能不会有事的

783
00:41:54,221 --> 00:41:55,055
银次郎

784
00:41:55,989 --> 00:41:56,823
是 先生

785
00:41:56,823 --> 00:41:59,793
如果你不知道自己想做什么
就好好跟着我

786
00:41:59,793 --> 00:42:03,497
不要掺和枪支和毒品
听到了没有 蠢货?

787
00:42:04,865 --> 00:42:05,766
我很抱歉

788
00:42:07,034 --> 00:42:11,004
我也是一时冲动
我还以为不会有事的

789
00:42:14,041 --> 00:42:15,242
话说回来

790
00:42:16,076 --> 00:42:17,911
这是正面还是背面?

791
00:42:19,346 --> 00:42:21,949
背面是靛蓝棉

792
00:42:36,330 --> 00:42:38,365
快去看医生吧

793
00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:51,511
抱歉

794
00:42:52,346 --> 00:42:53,680
走了

795
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:57,651
这是你的披萨吐司

796
00:42:57,651 --> 00:43:01,088
真是活学活用啊 那个靛蓝棉

797
00:43:01,088 --> 00:43:02,289
还好吧

798
00:43:02,289 --> 00:43:04,224
我听说龙二来看你表演了

799
00:43:04,224 --> 00:43:05,659
他说什么了吗?

800
00:43:05,659 --> 00:43:09,062
我还没见他 这是本月的授课费

801
00:43:10,097 --> 00:43:11,665
谢谢

802
00:43:12,933 --> 00:43:13,834
数额刚刚好

803
00:43:13,834 --> 00:43:15,369
看 上电视了

804
00:43:21,842 --> 00:43:22,876
那是什么?

805
00:43:22,876 --> 00:43:24,311
没什么

806
00:43:24,311 --> 00:43:26,146
-喂
-我给过你了

807
00:43:27,147 --> 00:43:28,949
果然撒谎还是会被你发现

808
00:43:28,949 --> 00:43:31,952
-当然了
-抱歉 这是本月的还款

809
00:43:31,952 --> 00:43:34,821
顺便说一下 电视上唱的法语是假的

810
00:43:34,821 --> 00:43:36,623
我都说我知道了

811
00:43:37,224 --> 00:43:38,392
很有趣啊

812
00:43:38,392 --> 00:43:40,661
就像一个有唱歌和黑道表演的
马戏团一样

813
00:43:40,661 --> 00:43:43,330
-你这是在夸我吗 小子?
-当然是了

814
00:43:43,997 --> 00:43:46,700
我走后舞台变化好大啊

815
00:43:47,434 --> 00:43:49,870
也许是被你改变的

816
00:43:50,537 --> 00:43:52,239
我老爸竟然唱歌了

817
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,241
之前他可绝对不会这么做

818
00:43:55,642 --> 00:43:57,210
既然舞台已经变成这样子了

819
00:43:58,545 --> 00:44:00,414
我也许可以回来表演落语

820
00:44:02,416 --> 00:44:04,618
虽然很不想成为你的师弟

821
00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:06,653
怎么了?

822
00:44:11,491 --> 00:44:12,926
那是...

823
00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:16,530
康雄

824
00:46:08,008 --> 00:46:12,012
{\an8}字幕翻译:郭轩池