1
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(心醉)

2
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(组长)

3
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说到喜剧 我是全日本最挑剔的黑帮

4
00:00:21,431 --> 00:00:25,468
我是新宿流星会的老大

5
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:29,072
其实

6
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:32,909
我想早点上台的

7
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:36,079
但我要是来早了 其他人会更为难

8
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:40,383
真打来了!

9
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:46,122
喂 我不会伤害小孩子 他们没钱

10
00:00:46,122 --> 00:00:52,228
大多数人听到黑帮时
会联想到高仓健或菅原文太

11
00:00:52,228 --> 00:00:54,931
那种硬汉 但现实不是这样

12
00:00:55,698 --> 00:00:57,500
他们很多人都是白痴

13
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有些人不知道二当家这个词
只会说二哥

14
00:01:01,671 --> 00:01:03,072
他们真是蠢

15
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,176
什么?你们想让我开始说书?

16
00:01:07,176 --> 00:01:08,644
好吧

17
00:01:09,178 --> 00:01:12,982
但幽默诙谐的开场
是我的一大杀手锏!

18
00:01:12,982 --> 00:01:14,784
好吧 我就开始了

19
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:18,154
从前 在一个长屋里 住着一个勤劳的糊涂虫

20
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和另一个懒到家的糊涂虫

21
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他们既是邻居 也是朋友

22
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勤劳的那个有一天去浅草拜佛

23
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然后...故事是什么来着?

24
00:01:33,536 --> 00:01:37,206
粗忽长屋!我的招牌!

25
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什么?屯兵卫等下要讲这个?

26
00:01:43,579 --> 00:01:44,547
好吧

27
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,450
那我就不说了

28
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虎与龙!

29
00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:06,469
{\an8}康雄

30
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你怎么回来了?

31
00:02:09,138 --> 00:02:12,441
阿惠不在这里
她现在是我女朋友了!

32
00:02:13,643 --> 00:02:14,744
他过来了

33
00:02:21,617 --> 00:02:22,919
打扰了

34
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干嘛?你吓到我了!

35
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搞什么?

36
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,161
我要饿死了

37
00:02:35,264 --> 00:02:37,166
我还以为你不混黑帮了

38
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我是这么打算的 甚至还找了份工作

39
00:02:39,268 --> 00:02:40,903
但我实在受不了

40
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那么低的时薪和早晨的健身操

41
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我骨子里就是黑帮

42
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-所以呢?
-回新宿流星会很尴尬

43
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,351
野狼商会

44
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-目黑分会
-就是山手线地盘!

45
00:02:58,020 --> 00:03:00,890
理夫 他以前是二哥 你认识他吗?

46
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:01,824
老大!

47
00:03:01,824 --> 00:03:03,059
这人是谁?

48
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:06,262
他们本来是关西那边的
但跟流星会争地盘失败

49
00:03:06,262 --> 00:03:09,465
就离开了新宿

50
00:03:09,465 --> 00:03:12,868
我觉得自己适合去那里

51
00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:14,337
没问题 老大

52
00:03:14,337 --> 00:03:18,341
理夫对我一见如故
就让我当会计...

53
00:03:18,341 --> 00:03:19,709
感觉有点不对劲

54
00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:20,776
怎么回事?

55
00:03:20,776 --> 00:03:22,044
好吧 我省略掉了一段

56
00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:23,779
你还大言不惭的!

57
00:03:23,779 --> 00:03:27,550
不知为何 所有人都放心让我管钱

58
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我看起来有那么可靠吗?

59
00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:35,024
最主要的是 安保太烂了
他们把所有钱放在同一个账户!

60
00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:38,527
就算拿一点也没人发现

61
00:03:38,527 --> 00:03:41,631
你肯定是被发现了 现在才这么饿

62
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:45,234
怎么了?

63
00:03:53,342 --> 00:03:54,277
我们要怎么做?

64
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,911
什么都不做 你要去演出

65
00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:58,080
虽然很快就开始了 但还是...

66
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:58,981
怎么了?

67
00:03:59,882 --> 00:04:01,684
你不觉得很有意思吗?

68
00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,452
此话怎讲?

69
00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:04,453
他可是惹了大麻烦!

70
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,456
但这会是一个很精彩的落语故事

71
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-小虎...
-我要是放弃 就会错失一个好故事

72
00:04:10,493 --> 00:04:13,029
我至少应该听听他的故事

73
00:04:13,029 --> 00:04:14,297
你身后...

74
00:04:15,564 --> 00:04:16,766
让我听他说完

75
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,235
喂 这是什么情况?

76
00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:20,936
怎么回事?

77
00:04:23,339 --> 00:04:24,240
你没事吧?

78
00:04:24,874 --> 00:04:27,043
真够有创意的

79
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:29,945
居然对我发布悬赏令

80
00:04:30,446 --> 00:04:32,114
而且才500万日元

81
00:04:32,114 --> 00:04:35,117
现在赢个喜剧比赛
奖金都有1000万日元!

82
00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:37,253
你到底贪污了多少钱?

83
00:04:37,253 --> 00:04:41,691
我每次去银行
都偷偷抽走几张一百日元的钞票

84
00:04:43,693 --> 00:04:46,562
似乎没有人注意到 后来理夫出国了

85
00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:48,631
所以我一次性拿了500万

86
00:04:48,631 --> 00:04:50,166
那你们谁也不欠谁的

87
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:52,301
我还没说完呢

88
00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:53,936
其实

89
00:04:53,936 --> 00:04:56,739
理夫办公室里有个隐藏摄像头

90
00:04:56,739 --> 00:04:59,308
所以全都录上了

91
00:05:02,311 --> 00:05:04,680
是她勾引我的!

92
00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:09,652
要是拒绝的话 岂不是太没礼貌!

93
00:05:09,652 --> 00:05:11,854
你还是人吗?

94
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:15,691
总是 我很高兴遇到你了 我们是老相识了

95
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:17,593
而且你想退出流星会

96
00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:18,928
你搞错了

97
00:05:18,928 --> 00:05:19,628
什么?

98
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,231
我不是你的朋友

99
00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:25,968
你是孤儿 对吧?

100
00:05:25,968 --> 00:05:27,870
没人会为你感到悲伤

101
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,272
我没忘记你做的事

102
00:05:30,272 --> 00:05:33,409
我可以把你交给理夫

103
00:05:33,409 --> 00:05:36,412
或者杀了你 拿到那五百万

104
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去你的!

105
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,382
山崎 你这王八蛋!

106
00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:44,620
抱歉打断你们
但是田边 你要住这里吗?

107
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,021
-对!
-让他住下!

108
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绝对不行!

109
00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:48,457
这是谁?

110
00:05:48,457 --> 00:05:50,459
我不喜欢黑帮

111
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:52,328
黑帮总是乱砸东西

112
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他们要是留下 我就走!

113
00:05:54,997 --> 00:05:56,298
我很认真的!

114
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,367
明白了

115
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,371
你确定他在这个房间里吗?

116
00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:05,574
确定...或许吧

117
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:10,513
或许?你这没用的东西!

118
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,317
有事吗?

119
00:06:16,051 --> 00:06:17,920
-不是这个房间
-抱歉

120
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,703
抱歉 但我们能换个地方聊吗?

121
00:06:37,807 --> 00:06:39,742
他会和我同住一段时间

122
00:06:39,742 --> 00:06:40,843
谢谢

123
00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:41,877
我有演出

124
00:06:41,877 --> 00:06:42,845
先别走 小虎!

125
00:06:42,845 --> 00:06:43,913
坐下

126
00:06:43,913 --> 00:06:45,714
-我得走了
-坐下!

127
00:06:45,714 --> 00:06:47,550
-你给我坐下!
-怎么了?

128
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,418
我让你坐下!

129
00:06:49,418 --> 00:06:51,353
好吧 怎么回事?

130
00:06:51,353 --> 00:06:54,457
这房子...

131
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:59,028
不是黑帮分子的旅馆

132
00:06:59,028 --> 00:07:01,730
就是普通的人家

133
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:04,233
拜托你理解 对吧 老婆?

134
00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:08,904
你和他都是黑帮
但你跟这里的黑帮完全不一样

135
00:07:08,904 --> 00:07:10,306
少跟我说什么黑帮!

136
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:12,708
怎么回事?

137
00:07:13,309 --> 00:07:16,412
我瘫痪了吗?怎么没办法扭头?

138
00:07:16,412 --> 00:07:19,148
田边先生

139
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:19,882
什么事?

140
00:07:19,882 --> 00:07:23,152
我们习惯对客人进行自我介绍

141
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:26,088
所以就从我开始吧

142
00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:28,390
我是一家之主屯兵卫

143
00:07:28,390 --> 00:07:29,925
幸会

144
00:07:29,925 --> 00:07:31,927
那个僵住的家伙...

145
00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:36,131
-他是我儿子屯太
-屯...屯...

146
00:07:36,131 --> 00:07:38,501
这是我的孙辈 沙耶和太郎

147
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,369
他们是我的徒弟

148
00:07:40,369 --> 00:07:43,639
屯吉、屯钝、屯碗 你叫什么名字?

149
00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:46,075
-乌冬 师父
-乌冬 这名字真傻

150
00:07:52,882 --> 00:07:57,419
我本来不能闻二手烟 但也无所谓了

151
00:07:57,987 --> 00:08:01,724
这是我儿媳鹤子 这是我妻子小百合

152
00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,726
-拜托对她们客气点
-你好

153
00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:05,528
我的小心脏啊

154
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,896
大概就是这样

155
00:08:07,496 --> 00:08:10,032
对了 他偷东西 把你们的钱放好

156
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,301
小虎 我跟你去

157
00:08:12,301 --> 00:08:15,337
我们也该走了!

158
00:08:16,071 --> 00:08:18,173
你也该走了

159
00:08:18,173 --> 00:08:20,276
-为什么?
-带上孩子

160
00:08:20,276 --> 00:08:22,511
去买鸡蛋或牛奶 买什么都行

161
00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,113
可是为什么?

162
00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:27,917
或者去买几瓶啤酒?

163
00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:30,085
对吧 鹤子?

164
00:08:34,690 --> 00:08:38,227
一蹦一跳 Jump亭Jump!

165
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:43,532
几天前
我接受了《年轻跳跳人》的采访

166
00:08:43,532 --> 00:08:45,034
讲一个那样的故事

167
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:48,771
关于落难黑帮分子的故事?
根本就没有

168
00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:49,939
太血腥了

169
00:08:49,939 --> 00:08:51,307
观众不会笑的

170
00:08:51,307 --> 00:08:53,709
也可以讲一个通缉犯的故事

171
00:08:53,709 --> 00:08:56,478
粗忽长屋
就是讲一个男人暴毙的故事

172
00:08:56,478 --> 00:08:57,446
怎么讲?

173
00:08:57,446 --> 00:09:00,249
人们在浅草寺发现了一具无名尸体

174
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:03,752
-太好了!就讲这个吧!
-这不合规矩

175
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,088
师父干嘛要听徒弟的?

176
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:09,992
伟大的小虎发觉自己可以根据情况

177
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:11,226
改编某个类似的故事

178
00:09:11,226 --> 00:09:13,596
老和尚就来了个高跳!

179
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,999
他好烦人 在台上跳来跳去的

180
00:09:16,999 --> 00:09:20,269
我好担心家里的小百合

181
00:09:22,071 --> 00:09:24,673
-你当过歌手?
-对

182
00:09:24,673 --> 00:09:27,810
但自从结婚后 我就不再出去做事了

183
00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:29,979
真可惜 土耳其

184
00:09:29,979 --> 00:09:32,147
你还这么年轻 土耳其

185
00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:34,817
你不该天天待在家里

186
00:09:34,817 --> 00:09:37,553
我...我叫鹤子

187
00:09:37,553 --> 00:09:38,854
不是土耳其

188
00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,389
抱歉

189
00:09:41,223 --> 00:09:43,926
我有四分之一的土耳其血统

190
00:09:43,926 --> 00:09:46,328
哎呀

191
00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:49,198
难怪你长的这么有棱角

192
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,799
您是个美人 夫人

193
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,802
我们要是早20年...
不对 早10年相遇

194
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,672
我或许会把持不住自己

195
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,576
再点一份上等寿司!

196
00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:01,710
是 婆婆!

197
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,046
抱歉添麻烦了!

198
00:10:04,046 --> 00:10:07,383
太好玩了!我喝醉了!

199
00:10:07,383 --> 00:10:10,953
我也是!感觉自己被施了咒语!

200
00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:13,989
所以我点发送

201
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:14,890
没错

202
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,859
小百合!我非常担心...

203
00:10:16,859 --> 00:10:19,561
-不对 你得输入信息
-师父

204
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:22,031
到你了 师父!

205
00:10:22,531 --> 00:10:25,134
拜托了 师父 我会在观众席

206
00:10:27,102 --> 00:10:30,105
我们等你很久了!屯兵卫!

207
00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:34,576
(屯兵卫)

208
00:10:34,576 --> 00:10:36,879
非常感谢大家的到来

209
00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:38,814
终于等到出忽长屋了!

210
00:10:38,814 --> 00:10:41,216
不是出忽 是粗忽!

211
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:44,053
据我所知

212
00:10:44,053 --> 00:10:46,689
地球上总人口

213
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,925
大概有61亿

214
00:10:49,925 --> 00:10:53,796
其中 48.75亿人

215
00:10:53,796 --> 00:10:56,065
都是缺心眼

216
00:10:57,232 --> 00:11:00,069
我今天真走运

217
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:03,172
台下的观众不在这些人里

218
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:04,573
恭喜大家了

219
00:11:04,573 --> 00:11:08,811
缺心眼也被叫做糊涂虫

220
00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:11,246
别吵了!你们都结婚了!

221
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,482
你怎么光着脚闯进来?

222
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:16,485
-我们不是在吵架
-就是在吵!

223
00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:18,854
你确实喊了 滚出去 贱人!

224
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:22,825
我没有!我们相识这么久

225
00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:24,727
你知道我还没老婆!

226
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:28,263
对 那是怎么回事?

227
00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,632
或许是因为那个东西

228
00:11:30,632 --> 00:11:35,370
就是在屋里跑来跑去的那东西

229
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:37,172
-那种动物
-老鼠?

230
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:38,907
不是老鼠 比老鼠要大

231
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,943
-大象
-不对

232
00:11:40,943 --> 00:11:42,978
怎么了?你在皱眉

233
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:45,948
我感觉看到了从前的自己

234
00:11:45,948 --> 00:11:48,250
就是叫起来汪汪汪的那个

235
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,320
原来是狗啊!

236
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,257
对 一条狗来到我房间

237
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:58,093
蹲下拉了一大堆马屎

238
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,962
狗怎么能拉出马屎

239
00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,897
你真是莫名其妙

240
00:12:01,897 --> 00:12:07,703
总之 因为是条母狗 我就喊

241
00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:10,572
滚出去 贱人!

242
00:12:10,572 --> 00:12:13,108
所以你就误会了嘛

243
00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:15,744
真是没救了

244
00:12:15,744 --> 00:12:16,979
别笑了!

245
00:12:16,979 --> 00:12:20,215
在一个长屋里 住着一个懒蛋糊涂虫

246
00:12:20,215 --> 00:12:22,151
和一个勤劳的糊涂虫

247
00:12:22,151 --> 00:12:24,586
他们既是邻居 也是朋友

248
00:12:24,586 --> 00:12:28,223
一天 勤劳的那个去拜佛

249
00:12:28,223 --> 00:12:30,325
这么多人 怎么回事?

250
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:32,661
我听说发现了一具死尸

251
00:12:32,661 --> 00:12:34,763
我想亲眼看看

252
00:12:34,763 --> 00:12:35,898
我也是

253
00:12:35,898 --> 00:12:38,867
但这里好多人
除非从他们裤裆下钻过去

254
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:41,236
否则你靠近不了的

255
00:12:42,504 --> 00:12:44,239
钻裤裆?

256
00:12:44,873 --> 00:12:48,177
抱歉 能不能让我过去...

257
00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:50,145
能个屁!走开!

258
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,315
该死!

259
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,622
哎呀呀!这个家伙在干什么?

260
00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:02,825
你要是看过了 就闪开!

261
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,259
让开!

262
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:07,863
你刚来吗?过来这里

263
00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:09,865
谢谢

264
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:13,936
所以 现在要开始了吗?

265
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:16,605
没什么可开始的

266
00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:18,106
这个人身份不明 是个无名氏

267
00:13:18,106 --> 00:13:20,108
原来他叫无名氏啊

268
00:13:20,943 --> 00:13:23,045
他是做什么的?

269
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,048
这人好奇怪

270
00:13:26,048 --> 00:13:27,716
真烦人

271
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,919
他身上盖着一张草席

272
00:13:30,919 --> 00:13:34,923
那个...不好意思

273
00:13:35,424 --> 00:13:38,093
大家都在看 你不该起来吗?

274
00:13:38,093 --> 00:13:42,164
他没法起来

275
00:13:42,164 --> 00:13:44,066
这是一具尸体

276
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,569
这样啊

277
00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:51,473
那他该叫无名尸啊

278
00:13:51,473 --> 00:13:53,909
你刚才怎么叫他无名氏

279
00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:58,714
我真是懒得跟你

280
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:00,682
费口舌

281
00:14:00,682 --> 00:14:06,054
不如你看看死者的模样
看看认不认识他?

282
00:14:07,756 --> 00:14:11,293
行吧 不过我应该不认识他

283
00:14:11,293 --> 00:14:12,728
那好吧 不好意思...

284
00:14:13,495 --> 00:14:14,663
老天 我认识他!

285
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:17,766
老天爷!是鱼熊!

286
00:14:17,766 --> 00:14:19,868
你真的认识他吗?

287
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:22,738
当然了 我跟他很熟!
他是我的邻居!

288
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:24,673
我们亲如兄弟!

289
00:14:24,673 --> 00:14:28,176
虽然我们不是同年同月同日生
但发誓不会同年同月同日生死

290
00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,077
这是肯定的了!

291
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,779
真的 我们是朋友!

292
00:14:30,779 --> 00:14:33,048
但谁会这么对他?

293
00:14:33,682 --> 00:14:34,917
是你吗?

294
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,418
什么情况?

295
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,453
我刚才还担心这个无名氏呢

296
00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:40,889
是鱼熊!我非常肯定!

297
00:14:40,889 --> 00:14:45,160
那麻烦你去他家 跟他妻子说

298
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,962
他没有妻子!他是光棍

299
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:48,797
父母呢?亲戚?

300
00:14:48,797 --> 00:14:49,765
他都没有

301
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:54,036
他是个孤苦无依的可怜人

302
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:56,471
这就成问题了

303
00:14:56,471 --> 00:14:57,973
这样吧

304
00:14:57,973 --> 00:15:00,509
我们去把他叫来

305
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:02,644
把他叫来?

306
00:15:02,644 --> 00:15:05,080
什么意思?把他叫来?

307
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:08,884
我是说无名氏啊

308
00:15:08,884 --> 00:15:11,720
-啊?
-你能不能别说话?

309
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,056
但这人...他已经死了!

310
00:15:14,056 --> 00:15:16,558
故事就从这里开始好笑了 你好好听

311
00:15:16,558 --> 00:15:19,728
他今早说自己不舒服

312
00:15:19,728 --> 00:15:23,865
今早?那你认错人了

313
00:15:23,865 --> 00:15:26,802
这人昨晚就在这里了

314
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:30,806
所以才得把他叫来啊

315
00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:36,011
他是那种对自己的事情
都稀里糊涂的人

316
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:41,149
所以他肯定都不知道

317
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,252
自己横尸街头

318
00:15:44,252 --> 00:15:48,223
喂 师父是失心疯了吗?

319
00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:52,894
让我去叫他来

320
00:15:52,894 --> 00:15:56,431
等他过来 我们比较一下这二人

321
00:15:56,431 --> 00:15:59,935
他就会知道那是他 问题解决了

322
00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:00,969
喂 鱼熊!

323
00:16:00,969 --> 00:16:03,372
起来 鱼熊!

324
00:16:03,372 --> 00:16:05,707
白痴!一直喊什么鱼熊!

325
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:06,908
醒醒 鱼熊!

326
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,411
快出来!

327
00:16:09,411 --> 00:16:11,279
等一下 我是鱼熊!

328
00:16:11,279 --> 00:16:13,715
-鱼熊!
-怎么了?

329
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,185
现在不是坐着抽大烟的时候

330
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,155
我说了之后 你一定不敢相信!

331
00:16:20,155 --> 00:16:22,791
所以他们去了那里

332
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:26,395
去了强草...等等 不是强草

333
00:16:26,395 --> 00:16:28,130
我是说浅草

334
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:30,899
-等一下 我搞不懂了
-怎么了?

335
00:16:30,899 --> 00:16:33,802
如果鱼熊在家的话
这说不通啊 他已经死了

336
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:35,837
就是因为说不通 所以才好笑啊!

337
00:16:35,837 --> 00:16:36,671
什么?

338
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:40,876
那个糊涂虫不知道自己已经死了
所以他在家里抽烟 对吧?

339
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,344
对个屁 混蛋

340
00:16:42,344 --> 00:16:45,180
我不是你的朋友 我是你师父!

341
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:47,949
-行吧 无所谓
-不行!

342
00:16:47,949 --> 00:16:50,085
你都没穿和服!

343
00:16:50,085 --> 00:16:51,953
我只是观摩!

344
00:16:51,953 --> 00:16:53,488
观摩也要给钱!

345
00:16:53,488 --> 00:16:58,460
师父 我认为更有问题的 是那个观摩的人

346
00:17:01,496 --> 00:17:03,732
什么?你们别管我 继续就好

347
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,001
人渣!

348
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:08,403
我要是告他 肯定能胜诉!

349
00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:10,005
我能继续吗?

350
00:17:10,005 --> 00:17:10,906
好

351
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:16,278
所以八公去找了鱼熊
把情况一五一十告诉了他

352
00:17:16,278 --> 00:17:19,381
等等 一个死掉的无名氏?我吗?

353
00:17:19,381 --> 00:17:23,051
别说这么诡异的话
我觉得自己活的挺好

354
00:17:23,051 --> 00:17:24,953
你怎么这么厚脸皮!

355
00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:26,421
你昨晚去哪里了?

356
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:30,158
我出去了 天亮时回来的

357
00:17:30,158 --> 00:17:31,993
我好像喝了半瓶酒

358
00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:35,597
我记得经过一尊佛像

359
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,532
但至于如何回的家...

360
00:17:37,532 --> 00:17:39,000
瞧见没?

361
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,103
你喝了假酒 就晕过去了

362
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,405
然后倒在佛像旁边 然后就死了

363
00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:46,141
但你根本没注意到 就直接回家了

364
00:17:46,908 --> 00:17:48,210
-是吗?
-是的

365
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:50,445
难怪我觉得不舒服

366
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,481
瞧见没?我们快去吧

367
00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:54,382
-去哪里?
-收尸啊

368
00:17:54,382 --> 00:17:55,083
谁的尸体?

369
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:56,251
-你的!
-等等!

370
00:17:56,251 --> 00:17:58,320
你能不能别再说等等?

371
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,488
我都糊涂了

372
00:17:59,488 --> 00:18:01,590
假设他还活着

373
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:05,894
如果鱼熊去那里 那死了的人是谁?

374
00:18:05,894 --> 00:18:08,230
-结尾马上就来了
-什么结尾?

375
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,899
我知道被背着的人是我

376
00:18:10,899 --> 00:18:13,668
但背我的人是谁呢?

377
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:14,970
我不明白!

378
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,438
这故事没笑点

379
00:18:16,438 --> 00:18:17,606
别喊了!

380
00:18:17,606 --> 00:18:18,807
完全不合逻辑!

381
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,209
笑点不需要合乎逻辑

382
00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:25,113
你用语言和少量动作来表达

383
00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:26,214
这就是落语

384
00:18:26,214 --> 00:18:27,782
懂吗?

385
00:18:27,782 --> 00:18:29,217
龙二

386
00:18:29,217 --> 00:18:31,219
-你的解释很到位
-得了吧

387
00:18:31,219 --> 00:18:32,454
完全是你说的那样

388
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:37,259
高超的落语艺人
能通过无厘头故事俘获观众的心

389
00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:40,862
观众来决定这故事是好笑

390
00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:44,533
还是不合逻辑 拒绝接受

391
00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:49,271
不管你说什么 我就是不懂!
你们也别一副陶醉的模样!

392
00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:50,372
我们没有!

393
00:18:50,372 --> 00:18:54,509
至少我学到的那些故事
结尾都符合逻辑

394
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:55,644
但这次不是

395
00:18:55,644 --> 00:18:58,246
-你怎么这么生气?
-小虎!

396
00:18:58,246 --> 00:19:00,048
因为你的话惹恼了他 爸爸

397
00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:02,517
打扰了

398
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,085
阿龙在这里吗?

399
00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:05,253
是阿惠!

400
00:19:05,253 --> 00:19:06,555
阿惠?

401
00:19:06,555 --> 00:19:07,689
走开

402
00:19:10,759 --> 00:19:13,929
田边先生?不是吧!

403
00:19:13,929 --> 00:19:15,530
你怎么在这里?

404
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,898
我来找你

405
00:19:16,898 --> 00:19:17,933
拜托

406
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,401
请你安静的走人

407
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:20,368
你给我让开

408
00:19:21,403 --> 00:19:23,672
你还是这么可爱

409
00:19:23,672 --> 00:19:27,509
咒语...咒语失效了!

410
00:19:27,509 --> 00:19:28,577
闭嘴!丑八怪!

411
00:19:28,577 --> 00:19:31,046
阿惠 去我那里吧!我这就走

412
00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:32,013
还是算了

413
00:19:32,013 --> 00:19:34,683
-为什么?
-我看到黑帮的车停在外面

414
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:36,184
真的吗?

415
00:19:36,184 --> 00:19:38,253
这个叫山崎的家伙是谁?

416
00:19:38,253 --> 00:19:39,988
-谁?
-什么意思?

417
00:19:40,755 --> 00:19:41,623
他是个黑帮分子

418
00:19:41,623 --> 00:19:43,191
这还用你说!

419
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,527
他是阿龙的朋友

420
00:19:45,527 --> 00:19:46,661
你不是阿龙吗?

421
00:19:46,661 --> 00:19:50,198
-他说的是龙之苏打的阿龙...
-泰吉

422
00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:52,367
给我闭嘴!

423
00:19:53,602 --> 00:19:56,371
这就是我讨厌日本黑帮的原因

424
00:19:57,539 --> 00:20:02,210
我真是同情你 阿龙 你在日本拼命工作

425
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:04,379
但一些中国坏人

426
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:06,514
偷窃和贩卖人口

427
00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:09,284
-让你觉得丢脸
-我不是阿龙 我是小刘

428
00:20:09,284 --> 00:20:10,318
喂 小刘

429
00:20:10,318 --> 00:20:12,454
黑帮的情况也是一样的

430
00:20:12,454 --> 00:20:15,890
有个不讲信义的黑帮分子
把我们赚的辛苦钱一扫而空!

431
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:18,927
你我同是天涯沦落人 所以帮帮我们

432
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:23,331
好吧

433
00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:24,933
小刘?

434
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,102
-是新宿流星会
-谢谢

435
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:31,006
我看起来真惨啊
要知道会落到这种地步

436
00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:33,642
一定会多吃点

437
00:20:33,642 --> 00:20:36,378
现在哭也没用了 怎么...

438
00:20:36,378 --> 00:20:38,046
抱歉打断你学习

439
00:20:38,546 --> 00:20:40,348
我叫你不要出来!

440
00:20:40,348 --> 00:20:41,983
没事的

441
00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:44,552
我有个精彩的想法

442
00:20:44,552 --> 00:20:46,554
我们听到的那个无厘头故事...

443
00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:48,089
那个落语故事 粗忽长屋

444
00:20:48,089 --> 00:20:50,692
没错 这故事启发了我 你能...

445
00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:53,561
杀了我吗?

446
00:20:53,561 --> 00:20:56,398
-什么?
-就假装你杀了我

447
00:20:57,465 --> 00:21:01,036
我们骗过理夫 平分那500万

448
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:05,974
我拿钱离开东京
然后去冲绳或北海道

449
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,142
那我呢?

450
00:21:07,742 --> 00:21:09,778
你大概得去坐牢了

451
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,582
别砸我的车 小虎!

452
00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:18,553
这不算什么!你只会被判三到四年

453
00:21:18,553 --> 00:21:21,790
毕竟你杀死的是一名罪犯

454
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:24,392
听我说

455
00:21:24,392 --> 00:21:25,694
你就当着一大群人

456
00:21:25,694 --> 00:21:29,431
开枪打我 然后告诉他们 把尸体丢进了海里

457
00:21:29,431 --> 00:21:32,334
如果你因此坐牢

458
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,769
就算没有尸体 理夫也会相信

459
00:21:34,769 --> 00:21:35,904
他会的

460
00:21:35,904 --> 00:21:37,439
这就是粗忽长屋

461
00:21:37,439 --> 00:21:38,840
-那你愿意吗?
-当然

462
00:21:39,908 --> 00:21:43,578
或者我真的杀死你 独吞那500万

463
00:21:44,145 --> 00:21:46,448
反正不会有人哀悼你!

464
00:21:49,217 --> 00:21:50,885
不是我吹牛

465
00:21:50,885 --> 00:21:52,754
但我现在结交了新朋友

466
00:21:52,754 --> 00:21:55,490
他们把我当家人!

467
00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:57,392
继续做梦去吧 笨蛋!

468
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,564
你砸坏了我的车!赔钱!

469
00:22:04,332 --> 00:22:05,367
你好好想想

470
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,036
我们这样的人无足轻重

471
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,271
你或许是这样 但我不是

472
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:13,608
谁都取代不了我

473
00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:21,182
你去哪里?

474
00:22:21,182 --> 00:22:24,319
不关你的事
我才不需要你帮忙 白痴!

475
00:22:26,254 --> 00:22:27,589
赔钱!

476
00:22:36,664 --> 00:22:38,666
你不懂 是吗?

477
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:41,002
说到田边 我们都是受害者

478
00:22:41,669 --> 00:22:45,206
田边跟你的手下山崎有染

479
00:22:45,206 --> 00:22:47,008
你有什么证据?

480
00:22:48,143 --> 00:22:49,310
你看到了 对吧?

481
00:22:49,310 --> 00:22:50,245
对

482
00:22:50,845 --> 00:22:53,515
他跟一个高个子帅哥一起吃东西

483
00:22:53,515 --> 00:22:56,518
怎么知道这个高个子帅哥
是流星会的人?

484
00:22:56,518 --> 00:22:59,421
就算你看到的那人是山崎

485
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,122
他早就不跟我们一起混了

486
00:23:01,122 --> 00:23:02,123
什么?

487
00:23:02,123 --> 00:23:06,761
他已经退出了
我们还想知道他在哪里呢!

488
00:23:08,329 --> 00:23:09,864
你吓到我了

489
00:23:12,066 --> 00:23:13,301
银少爷

490
00:23:14,002 --> 00:23:15,937
你都长这么大了!

491
00:23:16,971 --> 00:23:19,374
我该给他拍张照的

492
00:23:19,374 --> 00:23:22,043
你是不是找打?

493
00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:23,011
抱歉

494
00:23:23,578 --> 00:23:25,580
我们不是来惹事的

495
00:23:26,648 --> 00:23:28,850
把田边交给我们

496
00:23:29,918 --> 00:23:32,754
我愿意给银买一套像样的西装

497
00:23:33,588 --> 00:23:36,624
他穿的这么寒酸 能有什么出息?

498
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,426
省省吧 理夫

499
00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:45,033
老大 那我走了

500
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:47,402
我们走 彻也

501
00:23:47,402 --> 00:23:50,205
是

502
00:23:50,205 --> 00:23:51,473
你也要走

503
00:23:57,512 --> 00:23:58,847
(打烊)

504
00:23:59,414 --> 00:24:00,281
进来吧

505
00:24:00,281 --> 00:24:02,317
我没有动现场的东西

506
00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:12,961
是上次那两个家伙吗?

507
00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:14,829
当然了 不然还能有谁?

508
00:24:15,463 --> 00:24:18,099
全都给我砸了!

509
00:24:18,099 --> 00:24:20,702
拜托了 不要!

510
00:24:20,702 --> 00:24:23,204
你在干什么 泰吉?一起啊!

511
00:24:24,138 --> 00:24:25,473
我给你下了命令!

512
00:24:30,245 --> 00:24:31,179
(野狼商会 目黑分会)

513
00:24:31,779 --> 00:24:33,448
店主在哪里?

514
00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:38,353
问这个干嘛?你白痴吗?

515
00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,259
真的很抱歉!

516
00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:47,328
不要说抱歉

517
00:24:48,062 --> 00:24:49,964
而要说遵命

518
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:51,599
遵命!

519
00:24:52,166 --> 00:24:54,669
我知道你想保护老朋友

520
00:24:56,938 --> 00:24:58,239
但此事与我们无关

521
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:01,042
别牵连我们

522
00:25:06,748 --> 00:25:07,649
对不起了

523
00:25:10,351 --> 00:25:12,453
他们甚至知道我住哪里

524
00:25:13,755 --> 00:25:16,791
你为什么不交出田边?

525
00:25:16,791 --> 00:25:18,059
他...

526
00:25:20,528 --> 00:25:21,362
走了

527
00:25:23,031 --> 00:25:24,065
我没想到

528
00:25:25,433 --> 00:25:27,268
他们会找你们的麻烦

529
00:25:28,870 --> 00:25:29,704
别动!

530
00:25:34,509 --> 00:25:36,844
我不知道你以为自己是什么人

531
00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:40,415
但你依然是黑帮分子

532
00:25:43,651 --> 00:25:44,552
懂吗?

533
00:25:48,389 --> 00:25:50,024
为什么不上报?

534
00:25:50,024 --> 00:25:52,160
他从自己的组织偷钱

535
00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:54,195
很难解释清楚

536
00:25:55,563 --> 00:25:57,932
我会负起责任 找到他

537
00:25:59,334 --> 00:26:01,102
找到之后呢?

538
00:26:03,037 --> 00:26:04,706
他或许会丢掉性命

539
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:06,975
但我会把他交给野狼商会

540
00:26:07,709 --> 00:26:11,846
那他们也会砍掉你的手指 山崎

541
00:26:12,714 --> 00:26:15,717
另一个跟康雄一起偷钱的家伙

542
00:26:15,717 --> 00:26:16,751
已经自杀了

543
00:26:16,751 --> 00:26:17,752
快报警!

544
00:26:17,752 --> 00:26:21,289
这是他的亲戚写的感谢信

545
00:26:22,190 --> 00:26:23,358
感谢信?

546
00:26:23,358 --> 00:26:27,762
田边那笨蛋寄钱给那个幸存的儿子

547
00:26:29,163 --> 00:26:33,001
那孩子在医院住了一段时间

548
00:26:33,001 --> 00:26:35,837
但他现在寄住在亲戚家
已经正常上学了

549
00:26:36,437 --> 00:26:38,139
虽然这不代表

550
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,176
可以从组织里偷钱

551
00:26:42,176 --> 00:26:46,547
但貌似田边这家伙还有人性

552
00:26:47,749 --> 00:26:49,250
至少还有一点

553
00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:51,719
要是没有

554
00:26:51,719 --> 00:26:54,956
他也不会学习虎面人做好事

555
00:26:56,124 --> 00:26:57,959
现在还不算太晚 小虎

556
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:01,462
趁他还没有彻底堕落 赶紧阻止他!

557
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,476
我都可以理解

558
00:27:20,081 --> 00:27:21,816
你一定下定决心了

559
00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:25,219
想退出的人 我一向不会阻拦

560
00:27:26,154 --> 00:27:28,556
我甚至没拦我儿子

561
00:27:28,556 --> 00:27:29,457
师父

562
00:27:29,457 --> 00:27:30,625
但是

563
00:27:32,226 --> 00:27:33,327
你不一样

564
00:27:34,262 --> 00:27:37,231
不管你怎么说 我都不允许你退出

565
00:27:38,633 --> 00:27:41,035
不管你是去赌场、战地医院
还是任何地方

566
00:27:41,636 --> 00:27:42,970
我都会找到你

567
00:27:42,970 --> 00:27:44,205
为什么?

568
00:27:45,473 --> 00:27:47,875
起初 你让我听从天命

569
00:27:48,543 --> 00:27:50,511
好好当黑帮分子

570
00:27:50,511 --> 00:27:52,146
是有一个原因

571
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:54,716
债务吗?

572
00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:58,586
小百合在哭

573
00:28:03,424 --> 00:28:05,326
鹤子今天也在哭

574
00:28:06,094 --> 00:28:07,128
两个人都在哭

575
00:28:13,868 --> 00:28:16,204
如果你必须要走 那我不拦你

576
00:28:16,204 --> 00:28:19,841
但不要以黑帮分子的身份

577
00:28:20,775 --> 00:28:22,810
而是以落语艺人的身份

578
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,282
他们到底想让我怎样?

579
00:28:32,987 --> 00:28:35,656
我该怎么办 小虎?
我现在跟田边在一起

580
00:28:35,656 --> 00:28:36,557
什么?

581
00:28:36,557 --> 00:28:38,760
他找我借钱

582
00:28:39,393 --> 00:28:40,661
你们在哪里?

583
00:28:40,661 --> 00:28:42,196
什么情况?

584
00:28:42,196 --> 00:28:43,264
御台场

585
00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:44,999
御台场?御台场哪里?

586
00:28:46,467 --> 00:28:49,303
-我能看到一个摩天轮
-那东西从哪里都能看到!

587
00:28:49,303 --> 00:28:51,439
我不知道!这是我第一次来

588
00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:55,376
应该是在一座桥上面

589
00:28:55,376 --> 00:28:58,045
一座桥?我怎么知道是什么桥?

590
00:28:59,647 --> 00:29:01,382
康雄呢?

591
00:29:01,382 --> 00:29:02,784
他去厕所了

592
00:29:03,651 --> 00:29:04,685
他回来了

593
00:29:04,685 --> 00:29:06,087
喂 阿惠

594
00:29:06,087 --> 00:29:09,023
跟他说话拖住他 别让他走!

595
00:29:09,023 --> 00:29:12,026
不行 我又不是落语人!

596
00:29:12,026 --> 00:29:14,629
白痴!就问他一些事情

597
00:29:14,629 --> 00:29:17,198
比如他的家人、家乡...

598
00:29:20,201 --> 00:29:24,005
喂?小虎?喂?

599
00:29:27,408 --> 00:29:29,343
他在御台场的一座桥上

600
00:29:30,745 --> 00:29:32,713
一座桥?哪座?

601
00:29:32,713 --> 00:29:33,981
他们没说

602
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:39,053
闭嘴 你这没用的东西!

603
00:29:40,288 --> 00:29:41,722
快开车

604
00:29:44,392 --> 00:29:46,093
谢谢 我会还你钱的

605
00:29:46,093 --> 00:29:47,728
你是哪里人?

606
00:29:47,728 --> 00:29:48,496
三重县的

607
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:52,466
三重县?我对那地方一无所知

608
00:29:52,466 --> 00:29:56,103
那里有很多好东西
比如断沟龙虾和牛肉

609
00:29:56,103 --> 00:29:57,138
那你父母呢?

610
00:29:57,138 --> 00:29:59,307
依然健在 他们都是农民

611
00:29:59,307 --> 00:30:00,641
那去看看他们吧

612
00:30:07,548 --> 00:30:09,884
你应该回家

613
00:30:09,884 --> 00:30:11,886
你父母一定很担心你

614
00:30:12,753 --> 00:30:14,155
你尽力了 田边

615
00:30:14,822 --> 00:30:17,291
用钱买票回家吧

616
00:30:17,291 --> 00:30:18,192
你跟我一起去吗?

617
00:30:20,061 --> 00:30:21,295
阿惠

618
00:30:32,073 --> 00:30:34,742
你没事吧?我们可是在御台场!

619
00:30:40,014 --> 00:30:41,515
开快点 该死!

620
00:30:43,584 --> 00:30:46,554
泰吉 你怎么不回答我?

621
00:30:47,922 --> 00:30:49,757
你让我闭嘴的

622
00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,194
你是不是找死?

623
00:30:53,194 --> 00:30:54,395
抱歉

624
00:30:55,763 --> 00:30:56,731
遵命 老大

625
00:30:58,332 --> 00:30:59,767
我刚到 康雄呢?

626
00:30:59,767 --> 00:31:01,202
抱歉 他走了

627
00:31:02,236 --> 00:31:04,772
别担心 他打算回老家

628
00:31:05,539 --> 00:31:07,842
他要在父母的农场做事

629
00:31:09,677 --> 00:31:10,878
小虎?

630
00:31:16,550 --> 00:31:17,785
小虎?

631
00:31:21,956 --> 00:31:25,459
小虎!

632
00:31:42,043 --> 00:31:43,911
可恶!他们去哪里了?

633
00:31:47,248 --> 00:31:49,317
喂 轻点 彻也

634
00:31:49,317 --> 00:31:51,352
这地方不错

635
00:31:51,352 --> 00:31:53,587
在这里就没必要搞黑帮那一套了

636
00:32:04,532 --> 00:32:08,536
好冷!我要冻僵了 彻也

637
00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,973
泰吉!

638
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,315
-别这样啊
-马上动手

639
00:32:21,916 --> 00:32:23,284
就因为500万?

640
00:32:23,284 --> 00:32:24,752
就算是喜剧比赛...

641
00:32:24,752 --> 00:32:26,153
我不是下了命令吗?

642
00:32:28,889 --> 00:32:31,058
打死他 泰吉!

643
00:32:55,649 --> 00:32:58,719
人们总是把糊涂虫这个词挂在嘴边

644
00:32:58,719 --> 00:32:59,854
粗忽长屋!

645
00:32:59,854 --> 00:33:01,188
是出忽长屋

646
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:02,790
你最糊涂了!

647
00:33:03,991 --> 00:33:05,192
老虎 老虎

648
00:33:05,192 --> 00:33:06,794
暴走之虎!

649
00:33:06,794 --> 00:33:08,062
干嘛抢我的词?

650
00:33:09,897 --> 00:33:12,967
我向来讲的都是真实的故事

651
00:33:12,967 --> 00:33:14,602
但今天这故事是编的

652
00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:18,773
故事里的人物和组织皆为虚构

653
00:33:18,773 --> 00:33:19,807
这是规矩!

654
00:33:21,342 --> 00:33:25,046
话说江户年代 有两个黑帮糊涂虫

655
00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:28,616
这种人一般都自以为是

656
00:33:28,616 --> 00:33:31,318
其中一人偷了黑帮的钱

657
00:33:31,318 --> 00:33:35,656
当然 这件事后来被老大发现 黑帮颁布了悬赏令

658
00:33:35,656 --> 00:33:37,091
500两

659
00:33:37,091 --> 00:33:40,428
至于另一个黑帮糊涂虫...

660
00:33:40,428 --> 00:33:41,462
山崎!

661
00:33:43,564 --> 00:33:45,332
我不叫泰吉!

662
00:33:46,133 --> 00:33:47,835
我的名字是

663
00:33:48,335 --> 00:33:50,404
康二!

664
00:33:51,472 --> 00:33:52,306
什么情况?

665
00:33:52,306 --> 00:33:53,541
去死吧你!

666
00:33:53,541 --> 00:33:56,844
你每天都拿我当沙包出气

667
00:33:56,844 --> 00:34:00,114
我恨你!

668
00:34:00,815 --> 00:34:01,749
住手!

669
00:34:02,716 --> 00:34:03,551
住手

670
00:34:03,551 --> 00:34:04,985
把枪放下!

671
00:34:04,985 --> 00:34:08,222
去你妈的遵命

672
00:34:08,222 --> 00:34:11,392
我以后再也不会说了

673
00:34:14,562 --> 00:34:15,563
该死!

674
00:34:18,232 --> 00:34:19,166
该死!

675
00:34:21,969 --> 00:34:25,372
因为没叫对手下的名字 那人被杀

676
00:34:25,372 --> 00:34:28,309
这故事是不是太暴力了?

677
00:34:28,309 --> 00:34:31,712
他之前答应我 如果我们抓住田边

678
00:34:31,712 --> 00:34:33,681
就平分500万

679
00:34:35,249 --> 00:34:38,853
但他什么都没做 只知道抱怨

680
00:34:38,853 --> 00:34:40,588
而且他每次都打我

681
00:34:41,188 --> 00:34:42,923
他就是个王八蛋

682
00:34:42,923 --> 00:34:46,360
但你也没必要杀了他

683
00:34:46,927 --> 00:34:47,895
抱歉

684
00:34:48,996 --> 00:34:50,798
但事情还没完

685
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:52,500
什么?

686
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:54,034
我碰巧知道

687
00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:58,973
田边加入之前
他一直在从我们的商会偷钱

688
00:34:58,973 --> 00:34:59,874
是吗?

689
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:03,177
我一点都不觉得奇怪

690
00:35:03,177 --> 00:35:05,813
然后他栽赃到我头上

691
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,016
我什么都没做 但他打了我

692
00:35:10,351 --> 00:35:13,487
一开始就是他举报了田边

693
00:35:14,622 --> 00:35:16,457
我很看不起他

694
00:35:18,192 --> 00:35:20,694
如果小弟看不起自己的前辈

695
00:35:21,962 --> 00:35:23,264
那就没办法成为合格的黑帮分子

696
00:35:24,031 --> 00:35:25,533
好了 我懂了

697
00:35:25,533 --> 00:35:26,700
是吗?

698
00:35:27,368 --> 00:35:29,203
该死的人是你

699
00:35:31,472 --> 00:35:32,706
也对

700
00:35:33,841 --> 00:35:37,778
这家伙肯定跟你一样 也有家人

701
00:35:38,445 --> 00:35:40,948
你一直帮助的那个孩子呢?

702
00:35:44,919 --> 00:35:46,987
这世界上的每个人

703
00:35:48,622 --> 00:35:49,990
都会有人为之哀悼

704
00:35:52,927 --> 00:35:54,094
脱掉你的衣服

705
00:35:55,429 --> 00:35:57,698
-为什么?
-被杀的人是你

706
00:35:58,866 --> 00:35:59,934
喂 泰吉

707
00:36:01,068 --> 00:36:02,403
我是说 康二

708
00:36:02,403 --> 00:36:04,738
脱掉他的衣服 然后打给你老大

709
00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:07,408
就说彻也杀了田边

710
00:36:08,642 --> 00:36:09,877
然后我怎么办?

711
00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,146
回你父母的农场如何?

712
00:36:13,781 --> 00:36:18,485
所以他们换了康雄和彻也的衣服

713
00:36:18,485 --> 00:36:22,156
想要用彻也的尸体蒙骗黑帮老大

714
00:36:25,593 --> 00:36:28,262
这里黑乎乎的 你俩看起来很像

715
00:36:28,262 --> 00:36:29,797
但这衣服上全是血!

716
00:36:29,797 --> 00:36:31,131
假装是他的

717
00:36:31,131 --> 00:36:33,500
喂 我是康二

718
00:36:35,302 --> 00:36:36,570
我杀了田边

719
00:36:36,570 --> 00:36:38,906
我...彻也?

720
00:36:39,573 --> 00:36:41,408
他跟我在一起 对

721
00:36:42,142 --> 00:36:44,945
我们在御台场 对

722
00:36:46,447 --> 00:36:48,449
他等下打给我们

723
00:36:48,449 --> 00:36:49,750
你这白痴

724
00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:52,586
是彻也杀了田边!

725
00:36:52,586 --> 00:36:54,455
我刚说什么了?

726
00:36:54,455 --> 00:36:55,723
你说你杀了他

727
00:36:56,357 --> 00:36:57,992
抱歉

728
00:36:57,992 --> 00:36:59,193
白痴 别说什么抱歉

729
00:36:59,193 --> 00:37:00,961
-白痴?
-抱歉

730
00:37:01,929 --> 00:37:03,897
我都糊涂了

731
00:37:03,897 --> 00:37:07,401
这混蛋刚杀了你 你现在是彻也

732
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:10,838
我怎么身上全是血?

733
00:37:10,838 --> 00:37:13,307
他们也会有这个疑问

734
00:37:13,307 --> 00:37:15,943
那你为什么说跟他在一起?

735
00:37:15,943 --> 00:37:18,178
我是不是该去买点衣服?

736
00:37:18,178 --> 00:37:19,313
现在?

737
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,649
再说了 为什么要你去?

738
00:37:21,649 --> 00:37:22,850
如果你们不介意...

739
00:37:24,618 --> 00:37:25,619
穿没品味的衣服...

740
00:37:25,619 --> 00:37:29,089
御台场?干嘛找我?
店里还一团糟呢!

741
00:37:29,089 --> 00:37:31,225
我不想受牵连!

742
00:37:31,225 --> 00:37:33,560
拜托了 这是我最后一次求你帮忙

743
00:37:34,395 --> 00:37:37,898
我自己做不到 你要是不来...

744
00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:39,566
我要是不去呢?

745
00:37:39,566 --> 00:37:41,535
那故事就没有结局了

746
00:37:43,370 --> 00:37:47,341
看来我别无选择 我现在过来

747
00:37:48,008 --> 00:37:51,979
抱歉 但带几件没有奇怪补丁的衣服

748
00:37:51,979 --> 00:37:53,781
那叫徽章!

749
00:37:53,781 --> 00:37:54,982
我去去就回

750
00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:58,252
他让店主龙二送衣服过去

751
00:37:58,252 --> 00:38:00,921
可惜老大先到了

752
00:38:09,596 --> 00:38:10,864
你好

753
00:38:10,864 --> 00:38:12,099
是你开的枪吗?

754
00:38:13,467 --> 00:38:16,737
辛苦了 把枪收起来吧

755
00:38:18,872 --> 00:38:20,007
尸体在哪里?

756
00:38:20,941 --> 00:38:22,142
后备箱

757
00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:25,846
打开看看

758
00:38:31,218 --> 00:38:32,086
把面罩摘了

759
00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:35,255
他已经面目全非了 所以...

760
00:38:35,255 --> 00:38:36,790
我不在乎 摘掉!

761
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:39,827
怎么了?

762
00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:48,369
抱歉 我来晚了!

763
00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:50,137
田边能穿上这件吗?

764
00:38:50,137 --> 00:38:51,772
都是我最新设计的款式

765
00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:56,510
你是谁?你认识田边?

766
00:38:59,580 --> 00:39:02,316
-抱歉 他是跟我一起的
-啊?

767
00:39:02,316 --> 00:39:04,651
您好 我是流星会的山崎

768
00:39:07,121 --> 00:39:08,956
解释一下是怎么回事!

769
00:39:10,224 --> 00:39:11,058
那个...

770
00:39:11,058 --> 00:39:12,526
康二杀了田边

771
00:39:15,396 --> 00:39:16,997
我亲眼所见

772
00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:19,400
彻也呢?

773
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,002
他不舒服 在车里

774
00:39:25,773 --> 00:39:26,774
彻也

775
00:39:27,908 --> 00:39:29,109
彻也

776
00:39:31,545 --> 00:39:34,248
把这里的烂摊子收拾干净

777
00:39:34,882 --> 00:39:35,983
可以吗?

778
00:39:36,884 --> 00:39:39,319
-没问题 老大!
-那就拜托你了

779
00:39:40,287 --> 00:39:42,356
我应该...

780
00:39:43,857 --> 00:39:44,758
喂

781
00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:51,098
棒球

782
00:39:52,132 --> 00:39:55,769
去自首吧
或者你想去做什么都可以

783
00:39:56,537 --> 00:39:57,371
喂

784
00:40:01,041 --> 00:40:03,343
等你回来 我会任命你当儿老板

785
00:40:04,645 --> 00:40:05,546
是 老大

786
00:40:09,082 --> 00:40:12,519
替我跟你的老大问好

787
00:40:15,055 --> 00:40:16,423
再见!

788
00:40:24,331 --> 00:40:26,867
田边的尸体要是被发现

789
00:40:26,867 --> 00:40:30,137
人们就会知道 此田边非彼田边

790
00:40:30,137 --> 00:40:32,139
所以他把尸体带去了山里

791
00:40:32,139 --> 00:40:33,540
谁呢?

792
00:40:33,540 --> 00:40:34,975
田边自己!

793
00:40:36,410 --> 00:40:38,278
跟我说说是怎么回事

794
00:40:38,278 --> 00:40:40,781
我真以为田边被杀死了

795
00:40:40,781 --> 00:40:44,017
对 田边就是死了

796
00:40:44,952 --> 00:40:45,919
啊?

797
00:40:49,756 --> 00:40:51,959
我给他惹了麻烦

798
00:40:53,594 --> 00:40:54,828
还有你们两个

799
00:40:56,797 --> 00:40:57,631
我来帮忙

800
00:40:57,631 --> 00:40:59,700
别碰他!

801
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:03,604
你要是帮忙 就会是同谋

802
00:41:05,873 --> 00:41:08,709
你已经退出黑帮了

803
00:41:11,545 --> 00:41:13,447
你现在是落语艺人

804
00:41:20,487 --> 00:41:21,455
再见

805
00:41:28,228 --> 00:41:29,496
你听到了吗?

806
00:41:30,297 --> 00:41:31,698
我不是黑帮分子了

807
00:41:36,770 --> 00:41:39,072
既然黑帮分子都这么说了
那肯定没错

808
00:41:41,441 --> 00:41:43,911
我能问你一件事吗?

809
00:41:43,911 --> 00:41:45,445
什么事?

810
00:41:45,445 --> 00:41:48,081
如果我背的尸体是我

811
00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:51,919
那背尸体的我是谁?

812
00:41:54,555 --> 00:41:57,357
你又赢得了满堂彩!
虽然这故事很吓人!

813
00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:20,314
炖菜来了

814
00:42:20,314 --> 00:42:22,082
说实话

815
00:42:22,082 --> 00:42:24,952
我还觉得粗忽长屋对你来说有难度

816
00:42:24,952 --> 00:42:26,219
毕竟这故事挺无厘头的

817
00:42:26,219 --> 00:42:30,190
-我一开始也这么说
-这就说明了你的工作有多难

818
00:42:30,190 --> 00:42:34,928
所以你得尽快退出 明白吗?给我吧

819
00:42:34,928 --> 00:42:36,430
-什么?
-学费

820
00:42:38,465 --> 00:42:40,167
给 这是这个月的

821
00:42:40,167 --> 00:42:42,269
谢谢

822
00:42:47,140 --> 00:42:49,009
欢迎回来 小虎

823
00:42:51,979 --> 00:42:52,980
师父

824
00:42:55,449 --> 00:42:56,750
快还给我

825
00:42:57,851 --> 00:42:59,252
现在该你还钱了!

826
00:42:59,252 --> 00:43:01,121
抱歉 冷静!

827
00:43:01,121 --> 00:43:02,322
我会将你沉河

828
00:43:02,322 --> 00:43:05,025
-山崎 拜托别这样
-什么?

829
00:43:05,025 --> 00:43:07,027
冷静

830
00:43:07,027 --> 00:43:09,029
你冷静 抱歉

831
00:43:09,029 --> 00:43:11,832
抱歉 是因为我放进
自己口袋里了吗?

832
00:43:11,832 --> 00:43:13,700
我这就还给你 抱歉

833
00:43:13,700 --> 00:43:15,702
这是这个月的钱

834
00:43:15,702 --> 00:43:17,070
非常感谢

835
00:43:17,070 --> 00:43:21,008
喂 山崎

836
00:43:21,008 --> 00:43:25,379
你已经做了很多事了 对吧?

837
00:43:25,379 --> 00:43:29,850
你知道你退出之前
我还欠你多少钱吗?

838
00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:31,418
我没算过

839
00:43:31,418 --> 00:43:34,321
到目前为止我给的钱加起来

840
00:43:34,321 --> 00:43:37,991
就是170万 所以还剩230万

841
00:43:37,991 --> 00:43:39,226
才170万吗?

842
00:43:39,226 --> 00:43:40,360
都170万了!

843
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,062
才这么一点!

844
00:43:42,062 --> 00:43:45,565
都那么多了
你抓紧时间 再学快一点!

845
00:43:45,565 --> 00:43:46,900
都170万了!

846
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,835
才170万 是吧?

847
00:43:50,370 --> 00:43:52,005
这都是田边先生寄来的吗?

848
00:43:57,110 --> 00:43:58,945
真好

849
00:43:58,945 --> 00:44:01,081
-不要!
-他娶了一个好老婆

850
00:44:01,081 --> 00:44:02,282
好什么?

851
00:44:02,849 --> 00:44:05,052
大白痴!

852
00:44:07,254 --> 00:44:11,158
你不该告诉我的!

853
00:44:12,459 --> 00:44:15,228
你这糊涂虫!

854
00:46:09,009 --> 00:46:13,013
{\an8}字幕翻译:白雅童