1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,704
"Previously on ""Mohawk
Girls""."

2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,205
I can never show my face again!

3
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,974
Why aren’t you working on a
Monday afternoon?

4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:07,808
"I, um..."

5
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:08,709
Can’t hide out forever.

6
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,043
I’m not hiding out.

7
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,145
I’m not mad at you because
you’re less than 50%.

8
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,780
I’m mad at you ’cause you lied
to me about it.

9
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,215
And then you beat up Tulip!

10
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,850
I’m a horrible person!

11
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,085
Butterhead...

12
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,186
...we’re done!

13
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,187
You could...

14
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:20,888
...move in with me.

15
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,623
It was a one time thing.

16
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:23,790
It was so wrong!

17
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,759
You’re the most beautiful woman
I’ve ever been with.

18
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,094
Lollipop’s got nothing on you.

19
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,028
She’s your wife.

20
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:29,897
You’re worth the risk.

21
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,569
It’s a secret paradise back
here.

22
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,471
I know, eh?

23
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,840
Ken lets me use it whenever he’s
out of town and in return I let
him use my yacht.

24
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,041
Yacht, huh?

25
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:41,575
All yours.

26
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,743
Anytime you want.

27
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,111
As long as you take me with
you.

28
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,914
And...

29
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:47,848
These.

30
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,118
Stunning earrings for a stunning
woman.

31
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,755
"Trumpet, this is too much!"

32
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:55,956
[imagination swoosh]

33
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,091
I have to make dinner,

34
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,061
do the laundry and dust the
mansion.

35
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,930
Maybe then we can hang out,
honey?

36
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,698
We’ll see.

37
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,767
Depends how late I’m out with
this one.

38
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,369
[Brooklyn accent] Good luck with
all your chores, honey.

39
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,947
Oh, this is the life.

40
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:26,820
What the hell?!!

41
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,888
I thought someone was coming!

42
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,156
So you tried to drown me!

43
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,157
Screw you!

44
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:31,358
Stay!

45
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:32,059
Please.

46
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,361
Next time we’ll go away so we
don’t have to worry.

47
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,295
Anywhere you want.

48
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,764
Aruba? Anguilla?

49
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,300
Can we take the yacht?

50
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,335
Of course.

51
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,704
Anything you want.

52
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:08,428
♪ [theme music] ♪

53
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:19,840
♪ [theme music] ♪

54
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,408
Look what I got you.

55
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:29,816
♪

56
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,784
Self-help books?

57
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,019
These are for losers.

58
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,455
There’s nothing wrong with a
little encouragement to help you
reach your goals.

59
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,157
You can do this!

60
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,727
♪

61
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:44,931
Hi.

62
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:45,699
Hi.

63
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:50,971
Okay...

64
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,073
When the cateripiller
completes its struggle

65
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:57,444
it become a beautiful and
unique butterfly.

66
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:02,916
♪

67
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:07,254
You must be the creator of
your own self-esteem, confidence
and worth.

68
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:20,834
♪

69
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:25,072
Get rid of toxic people in
your life and make room for
love.

70
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,274
"Hell, yeah."

71
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:39,219
♪

72
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:43,824
Aboriginal...culture...

73
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,860
Okay...Population...Songs...
Traditional healing...

74
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:48,795
[message pop up]

75
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,971
"Oh, God!"

76
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:01,441
I can’t believe I did that to
her...

77
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,450
Aboriginal...Healing salve...

78
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,833
This isn’t fair.

79
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,935
All i’ve been doing is
eating this tasteless

80
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,105
healthy crap and I still haven’t
lost any weight.

81
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,907
Hasn’t it been like three days?

82
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,876
Hey, I think Leon’s a personal
trainer.

83
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,410
You should give him a call.

84
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,347
Ha, ha, ha, I’m not sure I want
to be a sweaty mess in front of
that hottie.

85
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,053
Oh!

86
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,190
"Oh, you’re sexting with
Trumpet?!"

87
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,858
Are you having an affair with
him?

88
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:52,993
Keep your voices down.

89
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:53,927
Hey ladies.

90
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,565
We are having a fundraiser for
the youth group day camp on
Sunday.

91
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,500
You should come check it out.

92
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,969
And you’re handing out the
flyers?

93
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,239
Taking a little break from
getting stoned and playing video
games?

94
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:10,210
I’m on welfare for political
reasons, not because I’m a lazy
stoner.

95
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,846
I volunteer at the youth group
every single day.

96
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:16,183
So if you come, feel free to
leave the attitude at home.

97
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:17,384
Okay?

98
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,289
He’s totally still into you.

99
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,090
Yeah, you should give him
another chance.

100
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,625
I am not going to settle.

101
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,595
Oh, and having an affair with
Trumpet isn’t settling?

102
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:29,596
No, it’s not!

103
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,866
It’s romantic and magical and,
and exciting.

104
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:33,967
And wrong!

105
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,203
Yeah, what about Lollipop?

106
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,471
I am not the one cheating, he
is.

107
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,608
He’s not even happy with her,
anyways.

108
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:44,644
Okay, fine.

109
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,412
You want to judge?

110
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,513
Judge!

111
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,516
But...do your boyfriends treat
you like goddesses?

112
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,552
Do they compliment you twenty
times a day?

113
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,455
Do they lavish you with
gifts and offer to take you

114
00:05:55,488 --> 00:06:01,094
anywhere in the world on their
private yacht.

115
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,262
I rest my case.

116
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,044
Good morning.

117
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:19,913
Isn’t this cute?

118
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,382
Lollipop and I got pedis.

119
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:24,184
She’s totally forgiven me.

120
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,418
So cute, right?

121
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:29,256
I know, we hung out all the
time during my vacation.

122
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,558
We’re, we’re BFFs once again.

123
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,628
So...no need to worry about
that.

124
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:37,664
Great meeting!

125
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,199
Thanks, everyone.

126
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,533
It’s good to be back.

127
00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:45,372
Oh...

128
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,239
"Hi,..."

129
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:46,706
...Mom.

130
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:51,411
"Look, everything’s fine between
me and Lollipop."

131
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,681
This is a letter from a Band
Member

132
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,818
Alleging you broke your morals
clause

133
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,987
with your shamefull display, at
Lollipop’s wedding.

134
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,489
You can lose your job for this!

135
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:08,528
"No, they, they, they can’t fire
me for something that happened
at a private affair!"

136
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:11,064
Maybe not if there was only one
letter.

137
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:11,932
Oh, God.

138
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,034
How did I raise such a selfish
child?!

139
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,703
Why can’t you be normal, like
other people?

140
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,005
Get a boyfriend and settled
down!

141
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,540
Give me grand-kids.

142
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,145
Now I’ll probably be dead before
I see any grand-kids.

143
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:28,148
Who would want to be with you
now that you’re the joke of the
town.

144
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,019
Pff, suck it up.

145
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:34,754
This is all your doin’.

146
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,259
Don’t act like the victim.

147
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,013
♪

148
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,048
Oh my God, I had such a
horrible day at...

149
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,585
I’ve had a stressful day at work
and I’m going to take it out on
you.

150
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:06,686
Oh.

151
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,656
You know, I know all about
stress at work.

152
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,491
Actually I don’t even know what
you do.

153
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:12,692
I work at The Bradford School.

154
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,228
I’m the...principal.

155
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:15,695
Wow.

156
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,364
Education is...

157
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,732
Enough talking.

158
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,804
I’m going to give you ten
lashes.

159
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,174
If you don’t react to the pain,
you’ll be rewarded.

160
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,479
If you do, I’ll have to punish
you by starting over.

161
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:34,581
Got it?

162
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,086
[smack]

163
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,091
[smack]

164
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,463
Have you done this before?

165
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,365
No.

166
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,600
’Cause you’re not making a
sound.

167
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,404
Oh...well, I’m Mohawk, we have
a high threshold for pain.

168
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,474
I’m sure the next ones will hurt
really badly.

169
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,243
You can just go ahead and keep
going.

170
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,078
I’m supposed to be the boss,
not you.

171
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,346
You don’t tell me what to do!

172
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,548
You’re right, Master.

173
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:10,683
I’m sorry, I was just trying to
please you and get my reward.

174
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,285
Forgive me please.

175
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,353
I’ll do anything you say.

176
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,795
♪

177
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,096
[smack]

178
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,130
[cries out]

179
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,109
This place is so charming.

180
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:36,976
How did you find it?

181
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,611
Ah, it’s right next to Le
Flambeau.

182
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,314
That fancy restaurant that all
the millionaires from town go
to.

183
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,584
I went there one night and it
was packed so I came here and I
loved it.

184
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,387
Now I come whenever I want to be
discreet.

185
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,524
Do you often have to be
discreet?

186
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,660
Jealous?

187
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:54,594
No.

188
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,163
Is there a bathroom?

189
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,270
"Oh my God, Trumpet, did they
kick you out of Le Flambeau,
too?!"

190
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,873
You’re a home-wrecking ho-bag!

191
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,676
You should be ashamed!

192
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:13,746
Ugh...how...could you...?

193
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,450
Too loud my ass!

194
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,652
"Agh, Racists!"

195
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:22,222
Bailey?

196
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,227
Are you guys here together?

197
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,528
What?!!

198
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:29,362
Me and him?

199
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,630
No!

200
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,365
Why would...were you guys at Le
Flambeau?

201
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,266
I didn’t see you there.

202
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,934
’Cause I left.

203
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,369
Then I realized, I have to
pee.

204
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,571
So I came in here to pee and
that’s when I saw Trumpet.

205
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,772
And then now you guys are here.

206
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,674
That’s like what, that’s so
funny.

207
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:42,709
What a small world.

208
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:43,910
I’m here alone.

209
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:44,511
Good!

210
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,179
We are starving!

211
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:47,213
Excuse me!

212
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,181
Hi.

213
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,516
Yeah, we’re going to need a
table for eight.

214
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,783
The guys are outside.

215
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:52,485
Okay.

216
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:53,453
I’m just going to go.

217
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,388
Bye.

218
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,191
Oh my God, I’m so hungry.

219
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:04,264
Medicinal plants...medicinal
plants...where are you?

220
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,301
Uh, I think I’ve seen this one
before.

221
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,907
Ooh, this could be hellebore.

222
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,577
Or it could be poisonous.

223
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,287
Yes, this could be Sarsaparilla.

224
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:33,860
Sarsaparilla can be used to
help rashes, cuts and bruises.

225
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:35,428
Yay!

226
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,608
"This is harder than, than it
looks."

227
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,542
Keep going.

228
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:51,811
I can’t.
"Yes, you can.

229
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,814
Attitude is everything.

230
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,449
You’ve got to believe in
yourself.

231
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,851
Aw, did you get that from a
self-help book, or something?

232
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,753
No, I got that from
experience.

233
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:05,825
I used to be seriously out of
shape, but I worked my ass off
and I got to this.

234
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:06,926
Bam!!

235
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,663
Believe it or not, that gave
the me the confidence to start
my own business.

236
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,265
Cause I believed in myself.

237
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,333
Seriously?

238
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:17,036
Well, if I could do anything I
would want to run my own
salon.

239
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,439
Boss all my employees around,
tell them what to do.

240
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,708
I bet you’d be great at telling
people what to do.

241
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,442
Yeah, I would.

242
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:23,977
All right, five squats.

243
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:24,744
All right.

244
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:25,912
All right.

245
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:27,814
One.

246
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:29,882
Two.

247
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,887
Does not live with parents.

248
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,456
No kids.

249
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,293
No crazy exes.

250
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,830
Good family.

251
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,735
Hey, cuz.

252
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,837
Um, I was just wondering,

253
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,840
who are the single guys these
days?

254
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,844
Yeah, does he still live with
his parents?

255
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,312
Is he the bald one?

256
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,813
No way.

257
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,649
Isn’t he like in jail?!

258
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,684
He’s been with like half the
town.

259
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,886
He’s gay now?!

260
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,492
Who’s the winner gonna be?

261
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,997
"Hm, Ohserase."

262
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,369
[texting sounds]

263
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,913
I know he’s cheating on me.

264
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,716
I’m going to find out who she is
and I’m going to kill that
skanky ho!

265
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:37,684
Damn straight.

266
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,019
"Hey,...Bailey."

267
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,525
I heard you were in the city
with Trumpet.

268
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,359
With him?

269
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,660
"No, not me."

270
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,361
Who said that?

271
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,595
That’s...they’re a liar!

272
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,797
Did you see if he was with
anyone?

273
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,399
Um...I, I don’t know.

274
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,367
I don’t think so.

275
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,035
I don’t...I just saw him for
like a second.

276
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,437
But I didn’t see him with
anyone.

277
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:57,937
No.

278
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,374
Okay.

279
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:02,742
Thanks anyway.

280
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,044
This town sucks.

281
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,448
Either you’re cheating, or
you’re being cheated on.

282
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:11,084
I thought things would be
different between me and
Trumpet.

283
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,453
We just got married like a
minute ago.

284
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:17,690
I just wanted to feel special,
at least for a little while.

285
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,426
♪

286
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,112
"Hey,... you okay?"

287
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,447
Relationships are complicated,
right?

288
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,484
Shouldn’t we be grabbing
happiness

289
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,121
wherever we can find it since
its so hard to come by?"

290
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:49,455
Otherwise what’s left?

291
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:50,656
[imagination swoosh]

292
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:58,664
What do I know?

293
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:04,737
I built a house years ago, ready
to settle down

294
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,639
and have a family,but no luck
yet.

295
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:11,511
"Birds fly from dusk ’til
dawn, but the wings of love flap
not for me."

296
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:12,612
That’s beautiful.

297
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:13,880
Who wrote that?

298
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,948
Ah...I did.

299
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,252
You...writing poetry?!

300
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:20,820
Shh, shh, shh.

301
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:25,892
Ah...well, "The wings of love
flap not for me" either.

302
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:30,863
Or maybe they do, but the wings
are like broken and the bird
flies right into brick houses.

303
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,966
Well, there’s no way your
dating stories could be worse
than mine.

304
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,901
Wanna bet?

305
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:35,601
Okay.

306
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:35,968
Let’s see.

307
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,939
First there was the one who
wanted to have my kids after a
week.

308
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,508
And then there was the one

309
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,044
who would get drunk and punch
random dudes in bars.

310
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,180
And they wouldn’t hit her back,
so they would fight me.

311
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,716
And then there was the one who
cheated on me.

312
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:52,952
With my uncle.

313
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,121
Okay.

314
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:56,255
Yeah, you win.

315
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:57,190
Told you.

316
00:15:58,257 --> 00:15:59,992
You see, there were a few girls
who cheated on me.

317
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,695
And I was pissed at the time,

318
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,765
but now I kind of pity them,
you know?

319
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,266
Having so little self-respect.

320
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:08,835
Good riddance.

321
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,172
Uh, I should probably go take
care of that.

322
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,842
Stay, I have loads more
stories.

323
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:16,676
Great.

324
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:18,144
Hey!

325
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:20,680
What’s going on, guys?

326
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,585
[texting sounds]

327
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,294
♪

328
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:38,598
Hey, princess!

329
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,700
You training for a marathon or
something?

330
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,735
You’re still in town?

331
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:45,705
Yeah, I thought I’d stick
around and spend some quality
time with my daughter.

332
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:46,539
Quality time?

333
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,974
I didn’t even know you were
here!

334
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,909
And you’re hanging out with my
ex-boyfriend.

335
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:53,279
You can’t blame the man if I’m
more fun to hang out with than
you.

336
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,347
Play nice kids.

337
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,249
And you know, you’re crazy for
letting him go.

338
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,149
He’s a good guy.

339
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,586
Dad! You are supposed to be on
my side!

340
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,923
I mean, don’t you care how he
treated me, or what...

341
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,096
"Don’t let negative feelings
become your Master."

342
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,070
You, you,...you know what?

343
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,239
You two deserve each other.

344
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,141
Because you are both toxic.

345
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,711
I want to spend my life
with healthy people

346
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,815
who treat me with the love and
the respect that I deserve.

347
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:30,816
Have a great day.

348
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:47,233
Tulip, what I did to you was
unforgivable.

349
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,706
But I made you a healing salve
from our traditional knowledge,
to help you recover.

350
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:58,678
You think some gross green mush
is going to make up for what you
did to me?

351
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,047
Look at my face!

352
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,282
I’m a monster!

353
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,992
I made this salve for Tulip,
but she slammed the door in my
face!

354
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,697
And now I’m in pain and I’m
itchy and covered in these
disgusting welts

355
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,266
and I followed the instructions
perfectly,

356
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,133
Whoa, slow down, slow down.

357
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,401
What, what..what
instructions?

358
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,403
From the Internet.

359
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,206
You probably picked something
poisonous.

360
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:28,708
Oh great.

361
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,812
I’m a useless screw-up as a
Mohawk!

362
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,215
Look, come on, come inside.

363
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:42,088
My tota made this, so it won’t
poison you.

364
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,356
That’s not funny.

365
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,192
Why would you go to the Internet
for a source on Mohawk culture

366
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:50,896
when you’re living in the middle
of the real thing?

367
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,298
I wanted to do it on my own.

368
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,234
To prove that I’m a real
Mohawk.

369
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,335
You are, Anna.

370
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,471
You don’t have to keep trying to
prove it to everyone.

371
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,706
Not even to you?

372
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,342
Not even to me.

373
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,712
I don’t care about your number.

374
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:08,881
I care about you.

375
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,284
Wait!

376
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,786
Am I contagious?

377
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,121
Probably.

378
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,305
"Hi, mom."

379
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:34,473
Dad.

380
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,242
"Hey, sweetie!"

381
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:37,309
What do you want?

382
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,949
I want to introduce you to
Ohserase.

383
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,451
My boyfriend.

384
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,386
Boyfriend?

385
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,456
What a wonderful surprise.

386
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,058
Who are your parents?

387
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,759
It’s uh...nice to meet you.

388
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:54,593
"Um, they’re, they’re..."

389
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,095
What football team do you root
for?

390
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:56,929
"I, I..."

391
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,998
How did you meet our wonderful
Zoe?

392
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:05,838
♪

393
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,075
It’s great you’re moving back
home.

394
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,242
We’ll get to hang out more.

395
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,646
We can have games nights and we
can take up soemthing like bead
work

396
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:18,517
we’re all single and we’re not
exactly obsessing over guys
anymore.

397
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,385
It’s so great.

398
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,519
I’m almost thirty.

399
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,354
I am moving back in with my
auntie.

400
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,558
And all I have to look forward
to is taking up beadwork.

401
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:30,463
Well, I’m glad that you’re
romantic fantasy with Trumpet is
over.

402
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:35,801
You’re always chasing these
fairy tale, magical mumbo jumbo
ideas about love.

403
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,970
That’s in the movies, that’s
not in real life.

404
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,072
Real life is about endurance.

405
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:41,474
And hard work.

406
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,210
"Cause nothing worthwhile
comes easy."

407
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:48,380
Okay, it’s from one of those
self-help books.

408
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,482
But it’s true.

409
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,417
You know, you guys are right.

410
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:55,454
There is no Prince Charming to
come sweep me off my feet.

411
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,557
Love is like a seed.

412
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,527
And it needs water and it needs
sun and...

413
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:07,967
other stuff and then it blossoms
into a beautiful flower.

414
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,201
Thank you guys so much.

415
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,370
I’m going to pick up these
boxes later, okay?

416
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:11,837
Yeah, but...

417
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:13,472
Bye!

418
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,118
Hey.

419
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:26,852
Hey.

420
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,454
Screw the sperm bank.

421
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,898
♪[theme music]♪