Previously on Mohawk Girls
Mom.
Why can’t you be normal?
Get a boyfriend and settle down!
[slap-scream]
"Get rid of toxic people in your life and make room for love."
Butterhead...
We’re done.
Attitude is everything.
You’ve got to believe in yourself.
I’m glad that...
...your romantic fantasy with Trumpet is over.
I’m a useless screw-up as a Mohawk!
I don’t care about your number.
I care about you.
You know I’m going to whip your butt
tonight at games night, right?
Oh, I don’t think so, buddy.
I’m a Master games player.
And I love to win.
Hmm, okay.
Well, your butt’s too cute to whip anyway.
Get a room!
Hey.
Hey, bro.
You know Anna, right?
Oh, we haven’t officially met.
But I’ve been dying to get to know you.
[imagination swoosh]
OMG!
I heart your out fit.
Oh, and your hair, it’s to die for!
Oh, we’re going to be the bestest besties, sister!
I know we’re going to be besties!
Not really.
I can’t support you being with my brother.
What?!
You’re gay.
You of all people should be open-minded and know what it’s
like to be different around here.
Oh, believe me, I do.
Which is why I’m worried about the consequences for Thunder and
for our family.
I’m sorry, bro.
♪ [theme song] ♪
8...
9...
"One more, you got this."
"Oh, yes!"
Awesome job.
Let’s go celebrate.
Oh, yeah.
I am eating healthy and there’s no booze,
there’s no men.
I even took your advice and I signed up for a business course.
Yes, amazing!
I know!
Oh, let me.
Thank you.
Are you cold?
It’s fine.
Well, aren’t you the perfect gentleman.
You know what, you should give gentleman training classes
to Mohawk men.
Ha!
Sideline business.
Mmhm.
I like it.
I got to go.
Caitlin...
Yeah?
Great session today.
I’m proud of you.
Thanks.
Okay.
There are some things that I do miss about being with a guy.
I, I gotta go.
No, I don’t know how to play that one.
Hey, how about us single gals team up to whip their asses?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Um, well...
[doorbell]
Come in!
Who could that be?
Guys, you know Ohserase.
My boyfriend.
Hey.
Boyfriend?!!
When did that happen?
Uh hey, anyone for pass the ace?
Sure.
I’ll deal.
Okay.
Fine, then this single gal is going to whip all your butts!
One, two, three, go!
-Yes! -That’s my girl.
"Hey, let’s play some Pictionary."
"Nah, that’s for pussys."
Watio.
It’s ’cause he can’t draw.
Poker, now that’s a real game.
And so apropos to Mohawks.
Why?
Because we found a way to survive financially?
So now it defines us?
Who are you to judge?
You’re not even Mohawk.
Yes, I am.
Don’t listen to him, he’s just teasing ya.
Yeah, he’s hilarious.
I may not be 50%, but there’s other ways
to be a proud Mohawk.
That’s bullshit.
All right. Cool it.
-She:kon. -She:kon.
Can I ask you something?
Yes.
What does it mean to be Mohawk?
What are you writing?
Who you working for?
No....
It’s about who you are and who your family is.
Well, it means...um....
It means making sure the sacrifices of our ancestors were
not in vain.
(whistles) Ha-ha...uh, duh...
Did you talk to anyone from the Longhouse?
I bet they told you they carry all our traditions and the rest
of us are embarrassments, right?
Longhouse.
Hi, there!
Is this the Longhouse?
Do you know where I could find the like priest kind of person?
There isn’t one.
Is there like a bible?
Or a class?
For someone to learn and convert or whatever.
It doesn’t really work like that.
"There’s no ""Native Way of Life"" rule book."
You have to live it.
To be lived in harmony with creation...all of creation.
Well, thanks anyway.
Oh, Miss!
There’s a social here tomorrow.
Why don’t you come by and find out for yourself what we’re all
about as a people?
That’d be awesome!
(ohna) (ohna gewahe)
Did you get the scoop?
Nope.
I’ve been asking her all day and she won’t dish.
She just keeps saying you can’t explain love.
Oh, please.
Hey!
Since when are you interested in Ohserase?
And why didn’t you tell us about it?
I...I don’t know.
I saw him around a few times.
And we got to talking.
And he’s nice.
So, there you have it.
Oh, sounds romantic.
And fishy.
Okay, he is nice.
And it doesn’t hurt that dating him will make the community
think I’m more like them and less of an uppity snob.
Okay?
That is pretty low, Zoe.
No, what’s low is people writing letters
to try and get me fired.
What?!!
I can not lose my job.
I’ve worked for it my whole life.
It’s going to take more than you getting a boyfriend for people
to not think you’re a snob.
It’s true.
You need to like...not be you.
Thanks a lot.
You need to revamp your image.
Like...a make-over...for your personality.
That’s a terrible....
actually that could work.
relationship you have with yourself."
♪
This is impossible.
[texting sounds]
♪
Kwe Kwe
Enter within and all the answers
will be revealed.
(in Mohawk)
"Stop taking selfies, it’s disrespectful!"
Can’t you see how uncomfortable you’re making everyone.
I’m sick and tired of seeing all the white people around town.
Hey, Tulip.
Hey, babe, you made it!
Not in public.
Everyone knows the law...right?
It’s on the books.
Now they’re boo-hooing because it’s being enforced?
I gather you’re talking about the evictions?
They’re taking space away from our people.
One of our people has chosen to build a life with that person,
and it’s their family.
They shouldn’t have started up with white people to begin with.
Now they have to pay the price.
Well, what about the kids, huh?
Just throw them away?!
I mean, they’re Mohawk, too.
I’m with Tulip.
They have all our land already, they don’t need this too.
If they’re living here, they’re not trying to take it from us.
They’re trying to be part of our world.
Well, we don’t want them here!
They’re probably just using our women and men
to get out of paying taxes.
Yeah.
Damn straight!
Hey, guys.
I’ve got some wings.
Fresh out of the oven.
Help yourself.
Hey, guys.
Wings?
Why don’t you look like an old lady today?
Cause she’s finally getting laid.
I wouldn’t want to see that even if you paid me.
Hot or mild?
Touchdown!
Yes!!
Ooh!
Yeah!!!
That touchdown was beast!
You’re into football?!
"Yeah, totally!"
How ’bout that Grey Cup win of...
...2009?
Yes, that was so epic!
I know, right?!
You rock.
Not as much as Iostha, though!
Love the new haircut, by the way.
It’s the same as always.
Well, it looks great.
Awesome party, babe.
Thanks.
Good game.
Too bad it’s almost over.
The second one starts right after.
Oh!
There’s another one.
Yeah...
Excuse me.
Run it!
Ya-ha!
Two baby!
Yeah!
Hey guys, sorry I, I have to go.
Um, work emergency, so...
wings are in the oven, the beers in the fridge.
Have fun!
Go Als Go! Whoo!
♪
Hey.
Danny wanted us to tell you that he sussed out some cute,
single guys.
What happened to focusing on yourself?
I did.
Self-improvement takes a little longer than a week, Caitlin.
I know.
But who says I have to do it alone?
Ahh, you did.
Remember?
Creating the whole fulfilling life without a man thing?
Well, you see, I meant without a bad man.
Look, you all have boyfriends.
Even Zoe.
I’m all alone.
So I am going to find myself a gentleman that treats me right.
And at what better place to do that than at the Longhouse?
That’s why you came here?
Not to give me moral support?
Two birds?
How’s your thesis going?
I’m just trying to learn our traditions.
Why does everybody have a problem with that?
Because you’re documenting us like we’re zoo animals.
Well, I want to join the zoo!
Why are some of the dancers dropping out?
The Smoke Dance is a competition to see who can last the longest.
The Thanksgiving Address we gave at the beginning is about
gratitude.
We thank Mother Earth for how well she provides for us.
So put down your notes and just enjoy it.
All right ladies, come on up, it’s your turn.
♪
I won!
Hey, guys.
How was your weekend?
Mine was amazing!
I went to a social at the Longhouse and I won
the Smoke Dance competition.
That’s cool,...
I guess.
Let’s take a moment to give thanks to Mother Earth for all
that she provides.
God, are you trying to make us feel guilty
that we didn’t go to the Longhouse?"
I was raised in a Catholic family.
It’s not my fault I don’t know our traditions!
Wait, no, that’s not it at all.
You think you’re better than us because you danced to a drum?
Snotty bitch.
Wait....no, that’s...
How did that go so wrong?
Hello there.
Hi.
I haven’t seen you before.
Well, maybe you just never noticed me.
Oh, I would have noticed you.
Well, I noticed you.
You look like you’re in a bit of a hurry.
Yeah, I’m heading to class.
I’m taking the entrepreneurship course.
Oh, good for you.
I run my own business.
It’s nice being your own boss.
A big business tycoon, huh?
Hey, don’t let me keep you from class.
It’s actually a review class, so I don’t really
need to be there."
Oh, okay.
Well, would you like to sit down?
Sure!
So Mr. Business Tycoon, do you have a name,
or shall I just keep on calling you Mr. Business Tycoon?
I’m Zach.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, there she is.
That’s my beautiful fiancée.
Well, it was really nice talking with you.
Good luck with your course.
Yeah...
Stupid.
[voices talking off screen]
He always does that.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Your new beau invited us.
I thought this would be a good way
to introduce myself to your family.
Oh...okay.
He’s so cute.
It’s good to see you settling down...with a Mohawk.
I made crepes.
You said you liked them, right?
They’re my favorite!
I can’t believe you remembered.
And he made them!
No man has ever cooked for me.
He’s a keeper.
Bacon, wooo....
Wow.
This looks amazing, Watio.
What did Danny say about me?
That you looked like a nutjob on the dance floor.
But that you’re growing on him.
I wish I’d grow on everyone else here.
I tried to share what I learned with my cousin and her friend,
but of course they turned on me.
What exactly did you share?
I said that we should do a tobacco offering and give thanks
to Mother Earth for all she provides.
And that didn’t go over well?
Shocking.
It was!
Well, you were pointing out their short-comings.
That’s not what I was doing.
Just stop trying to ingratiate yourself with everyone
all the time.
It always backfires.
You’re supposed to support me, not make me feel as small as
everyone else does!
For all your claims that you like me just the way I am,
you sure wish I was like everyone else here,
don’t you?
[texting sounds]
Uh...excuse me.
Can you tell me where I can find the principal’s office?
You said you were the principal!
What the hell are you doing here?!
I came to surprise you.
So...surprise!
You are going to get me fired!
Come on, just one quickie.
Please.
There are children around!
Okay, so we’ll find an office, a broom closet, whatever."
Stay away from me, you psycho stalker.
Don’t ever contact me again.
You can’t do that!
♪