Make sure it’s perfectly aligned.
I got it!
You can’t give up who you are for a guy.
I guess I’m growing up.
Hey babe.
What are you up to?
Nothing.
So beautiful.
Oh come on!
Protest organized by the warrior coalition.
We want justice!
I love you.
You had to go and ruin everything,
with your cheating asshole ways.
I’m not going to do it.
This is a sample business plan they gave me.
It’s forty pages long!
I only have a few pages!
There’s no way I’m going to get that done in a week!
You have to!
I want to work for you so I can get all the days off that I want
Come on.
What makes your business unique?
Why would people want to buy your product?
What is your management style?
You are such a loser!
You are never going to amount to anything!
You’re a loser, loser, loser.
Loser, loser, loser.
If you really don’t want to do it,
I’ll stop pushing.
I don’t want to do it.
But nothing worthwhile comes easy,
right?
That’s my girl!
What makes your business unique!
Uh,&it’s because it’s about inner and outer beauty.
Yeah!
Why would people want to buy your product?
Uh, because I’m the best damn hair stylist in town!
Whoo!
What is your management style?
Kick-ass!
Yes, ma’am!!
♪ [theme song] ♪
I am thinking a chocolate fountain.
No, a champagne fountain.
That is a little over the top, Auntie.
But you’re turning thirty.
You have to usher in the decade in style.
Yeah, it has to be a mega-bash.
You know what I’d really like?
What?
Anything.
My treat.
I’d like to take a trip with Watio.
-Oh, well&uh& - I know you don’tlike Europe,
so we can go somewhere else.
I don’t travel.
We don’t even have to sight-see.
How about a beach trip?
Huh?
Sand, surf...a little sex?
I can’t.
I don’t have a passport.
So, we’ll get you one.
There’s no way I’m signing a paper saying that I’m a
Canadian citizen.
It completely undermines our sovereignty as a Nation.
When our nationhood is recognized and I can travel with
my Haudenosaunee passport, then I’ll travel!
Not before.
So, if that doesn’t happen&well, we’re never going to travel
anywhere ever?!
Nope.
And you shouldn’t be selling out our people’s rights just for
some pina coladas on the beach.
Darn, I gotta go or I’ll be lat
So, you’re another brainwashed s
Ah, excuse me?!
’Cause you go to university.
You’re serious?
Of course.
Everyone knows that western education is a tool for
assimilation.
No offence, but that sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory.
Really?!
Who runs the schools?
Who determines the curriculum?
Who writes the textbooks?
White people!
Um&you can’t possibly say that about every university.
Or every class.
Do you even know your own histor
The government used the guise of "education" to strip of us
of our heritage.
Our ancestors literally had our culture beaten out of them in
residential schools.
And look at the mess that we’re in now.
So many of our people having absolutely no idea about their
own traditions.
[moaning]
[cell phone ringing]
What?!
Oh&hey, Tota.
No, I haven’t made the list yet of what food
people should bring.
Yep, potato salad’s fine.
Okay.
Love you.
Who says "no" to a frigging week on the beach?!
This is going to be the worst birthday ever.
We’ll do something fun here.
Or we can go on a girls’ trip.
Oh, yes!
Nah, forget it.
Oh come on, we have to do something special.
I’ll do some research.
Actually, can I do it?
I have an idea.
You in?
Whatever.
We’re in!
Alright, I have a client coming.
Hi, girls!
Check these monsters out.
My new boyfriend can’t keep his hands off me.
So much for loving the single life,
huh?
Well, I didn’t know what it was like to have the world’s most
attentive boyfriend.
More like you couldn’t hack being single for five seconds.
Dad?!
I’ve been trying to call you, but there’s been no answer.
Uh, I’ve been a little bit busy.
That’s for the cut.
Although I don’t know what you’re going to do to make her
more gorgeous than she already i
You call me when you’re done, okay.
Mmhm.
Bye, girls.
Okay, now your dad is a beast in the sack.
I don’t think I’ve had this many orgasms&in my life!
This is it!!
It’s a survivalist camp.
We can reclaim our heritage.
Learn to live in harmony with na
&and survive in the woods!
Damnit!
I thought we were going to the spa!
Whatever.
A party’s a party!
So&let’s get this party started!
What about your diet?
You were doing so well.
Don’t let your dad and Vicky get to you.
I’m not.
I’m allowed to have a little fun too,
okay!
Besides, I’m just trying to make sure Bailey
has a festive birthday.
Looks like there is some good hunting here.
Hey, boys!
So what does a girl do for some fun around here?!
Huh, so much for being about me&and my festive birthday.
&should draw back&elbow up.
Hold that arm steady.
And release.
Go ahead.
This is so fun!
Yeah, so much better than going to the spa.
Too much?
(whispers) Yeah.
I am a Mohawk woman.
This is in my blood.
Why can’t we do this?!!
We’re Native!!
See what they took from us?!
Did you see that?
Yeah.
Can I do another one?
Bull’s-eye!
Almost.
No, it was&it was a bull’s-eye.
So awesome. Go Bailey!
Okay, what’s next?! Come on.
Okay.
I sucked at archery, but I’m going to rock this skinning thin
Hey, girls.
Wanna...come and hang in our tent,
huh?
Screw you.
You’re too old anyway.
Ohh!
That was cute.
Okay, hey!
So, how to skin an animal.
So, making the incision right around here.
Cut right through there.
And then, just enough to get your hands in there.
And then pull off&the skin,
right off&and, just like that. There you go.
Good.
All right.
You guys give it a try.
I can’t do it.
Yes, you can!
We’re proud Native women at one with the land at her creatures.
Well, I’m not that proud.
No way!
Wimps.
Oh, he’s looking at me!
Oh come on, Miss "Let’s Get in Touch with Our Roots".
I can’t.
Sissies.
♪
Here’s to Bailey and her super special survivalist camp
30th birthday!
Cheers!
Zoe, stop working!
Oh&happy birthday, Bailey.
Great camping outfit. -Thanks
Yeah, she thought we were going
Well& Anyway&that’s cool that you’re a painter.
Yeah well, more like a painter who teaches classes
to earn a living.
That’s still cool, though.
I have zero artistic talent.
Well, you should come check out one of my classes.
Yeah, that’d be fun.
And you knows, maybe I’m a secret Picasso.
Enough already!
Oh my, God!
What is it?
It’s a dating site for pervs!
It just helps me take the edge off and mellow out.
Take the edge off?
You sound like a crack addict.
Don’t be ridiculous!
Okay, you guys don’t know what my life is like,
so just back off!
I have plans for you.
First, I’m going to blindfold you.
Then I’m going to tie you up&and punish you.
Oh, my God.
I can’t take you seriously with those things on.
Can you take me seriously now?
Okay, screw the slippers.
Did I hear screw?
Yes, you did.
Hey there, handsome.
Hey there.
Going fishing?
Yeah.
Well, how about you catch me and reel me in?
Nah, I’m going to finish up here.
Oh&okay.
Hey, guys.
Sorry about last night.
I guess I’m just stressed.
It’s fine, don’t worry about it.
So, what activity are we going to do before we leave?
How about we just go home?
Hey, it says that the mud down at the lake is used in the most
prestigious local spas.
Let’s get naked and try it!
No way!
There are people around!
But, um&it’s my birthday.
I feel all slithery.
I know!
But it’s oddly relaxing.
And liberating.
Ugh!
No home renovations here.
And no friggin’ fundraisers.
Nobody telling me what to do.
And no shithead men!
You think you’re hot shit now?
Ha-ha!
Suckers!
Let’s go, let’s go.
Hey!
Bring those back!
I hate nature!
Why did I make us come here?!
I see the camp.
Now what?
It’s not like we’re going to traipse through it naked.
Hey!
I got an idea.
Yeah.
Oh my, God.
Just go, go.
The tree’s alive!!
Don’t look!
Hey, you’re really getting
into it, eh?
Ah, when in Rome!
Genius idea for a girls’ trip, Anna!
Hey, it was a bust for me, too!
I’m the world’s most inept Native woman.
Are you serious?!
This was the best birthday adventure ever!!
I love you guys!
Hi.
I missed you.
I missed you, too.
I wish you had been there.
It was amazing!
I’m glad you had a good time.
We did archery, we made a campfire,
we learned how to skin animals!
And then&the girls and I, we took our clothes off.
And did mud wraps, but these boys stole our clothes and we
had to get back to camp without our clothes on.
Anyway, it was good.
How was your weekend?
It was great.
I finished the wallpaper.
Oh, that’s awesome.
Yeah, that corner was a nightmare.
I couldn’t get the patterns to line up,
I had to redo it like five times.
No, it looks great.
So, you’re all done.
With the livingroom.
Now I want to tackle the basement.
You know, redo the floors, install some pot lights,
build some cabinets so we have a cool new place to hang out.
Hm?
Hm& That’s cool.
Mission statement& Mission statement&
Oh, hey& Thanks, Vicky.
Don’t you mean "mom"?
You know, I thought my dad would have dumped your ass a long time
Fat chance.
Oh, he can’t get enough of this ass.
Ew, I got to go.
I have a business plan due in the morning because some of us
have aspirations beyond snagging a man.
You okay?
Yeah&totally.
Hey, looks like you’ve been working out, you know&
Hey, there. Hey.
Please&I beg you&.take me back.
I’ll do anything.
I act like an ass because I’m intimidated by you.
Nice try.
But I already tapped that.
Ready?
Oh, yeah.
Welcome to the pleasure dome.
Don’t worry.
It’s sound proof.
You can make all the noise you want.
No one will hear you.
Too tight?
No. I like it.
Okay, okay&
Have you done this before?
Of course.
How’s that?
I don’t know.
You’re supposed to tell me.
You’re the one who’s in charge, so just&just do whatever you
want with me.
I was thinking& &maybe we, uh& -Just do it!
Sorry.
Don’t apologize!
Just dominate me, damn it!
You be quiet now.
You will do as I say.
I am your Master!
Pterodactyl.
Huh?
Pterodactyl.
It’s our safe word, remember?
Shit!!
Morning, all.
Now let’s see who got through the entire chapter of the
origins of German philosophy, hm.
Yes?
Are we going to explore Native philosophy at some point?
Native as to&?
Native as in aboriginal.
All the philosophers in the text book are white.
What about the wisdom of my people?
Or Black people?
Or anyone of any colour?
Well, in this course we study the greats.
But I’m sure you can find something in Aboriginal or Black
studies.
Right, now moving on.
Chapter One.
But why is the wisdom of my people annexed off?
It should be included in the mainstream curriculum.
Well, clearly you have an objection to my course material.
But this is neither the time or the place to discuss it.
I think this exactly the time and place!
The skin colour of these illustrious philosophers is
irrelevant.
Irrelevant??!
Yes!
This is not Caucasian Studies!
This is intro to philosophy!
That should include all philosophy!
This is blatant racial inequality!
Are you blind to that?!
You watch your tone!
Now stop disrupting my class!
Oh, I’ll stop alright.
I refuse to be complicit in this travesty!
I quit your class!
And this colonialist, brainwashing institution!!
♪ [credits music]♪