1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:02,915 How y'doin'? 2 00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,612 I'm Gina Falcone. 3 00:00:04,612 --> 00:00:05,874 You can put a gun to my head, 4 00:00:05,874 --> 00:00:08,355 but I ain't callin' myself McDougal. 5 00:00:08,355 --> 00:00:10,923 My Pop used to be the capo in a New York crime family. 6 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,751 It was great. 7 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,187 Everywhere I went I was treated with respect. 8 00:00:16,711 --> 00:00:17,930 Hey Gina! 9 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,453 Good to see ya, kid! 10 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:20,454 Here's a hundred. 11 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,934 Get yourself a lollipop! 12 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,327 I talked with that dentist of yours. 13 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,547 You won't be gettin' any more cavities. 14 00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,375 That was all about to end 15 00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:31,683 because my Uncle Cheech was shootin' his mouth off. 16 00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,772 The Don ordered a hit on him, 17 00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:36,905 but my Pop didn't have the stones to do it. 18 00:00:36,905 --> 00:00:39,473 So while Pop was beggin' the Don to spare Cheech's life, 19 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:43,608 I decided to make my bones and take Cheech 20 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:46,524 out. And then Pop had to go and screw it up. 21 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,439 [Glass shattering] 22 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:49,744 [Stammering] 23 00:00:49,744 --> 00:00:54,445 I guess Pop did have stones, just not a lotta brains. 24 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:57,187 And that's how we wound up in Lady Parts, Saskatchewan. 25 00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,450 It's okay to say it, sweetie. 26 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,451 Regina. 27 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,148 But if you think I like bein' here, 28 00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:03,497 you can f---in'-- 29 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,978 Oh, language! 30 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:07,240 What the f---'s wrong with you? 31 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,764 Fugget about it! 32 00:01:09,764 --> 00:01:10,983 ♪ Let me tell you something ♪ 33 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:12,680 ♪ 'bout a friend or ours named Jimmy ♪ 34 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,770 ♪ made the Wiseguy and the Capo with Gambini ♪ 35 00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:18,730 ♪ When he found out they'd be whacking Uncle Cheech ♪ 36 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:19,861 ♪ He take the boss, 37 00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:21,863 ♪ He threw him from the 19th floor suite ♪ 38 00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:24,736 ♪ Wasn't much long 'til the mob wants him dead ♪ 39 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,869 ♪ So Jimmy had no choice but to talk to all the Feds ♪ 40 00:01:27,869 --> 00:01:30,916 ♪ the Feds say they have to take and use him as a pawn ♪ 41 00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,527 ♪ So he ratted out his friends and moved to Saskatchewan ♪ 42 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,920 ♪ Fugget about it 43 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,400 ♪ Fugget about it 44 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,009 ♪ Fugget about it 45 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,098 Oh! Fugget about it! 46 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:42,580 TV ANNOUNCER: Are your fingers tired 47 00:01:42,623 --> 00:01:43,668 at the end of a long day? 48 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,931 They are. 49 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,628 Are you still dialling the phone by hand? 50 00:01:47,628 --> 00:01:49,064 I am! 51 00:01:49,064 --> 00:01:50,544 Do you sometimes not point 52 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,155 because you just can't be bothered? 53 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,287 That's me! I hate pointing! 54 00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:55,549 With Super Finger, 55 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,638 you'll never have to lift a finger again! 56 00:01:57,638 --> 00:01:59,336 Ohh that's handy... 57 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,468 Or fingery. [Chuckling] 58 00:02:01,468 --> 00:02:03,253 But wait, there's more! 59 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:06,995 It also scratches, pokes, taps, and picks. 60 00:02:06,995 --> 00:02:09,694 It's super! Call 1-800-FINGR-ME now! 61 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,739 [Phone ringing] 62 00:02:11,739 --> 00:02:13,654 WOMAN: Welcome to Super Finger. 63 00:02:13,654 --> 00:02:14,786 Enter your credit card number now. 64 00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,875 Wait a minute. 65 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,181 We don't have a credit card. 66 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:21,184 Enter your credit card number now. 67 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,098 I said, I don't have a credit card! 68 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:24,099 D'ya take cash? 69 00:02:24,099 --> 00:02:25,144 Sure! 70 00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,015 Really? No! 71 00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:28,756 I'll give you a super finger. 72 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,325 Jimmy, do you know what I do all day when you're at work? 73 00:02:32,325 --> 00:02:35,415 That's between you and Doctor Oz. 74 00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:38,462 I drive around town, payin' our bills in cash. 75 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,419 I'm tired of living like this 76 00:02:39,419 --> 00:02:42,727 and I'm sick of lugging this around. 77 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,859 Don't you think it's time we got a credit card? 78 00:02:44,859 --> 00:02:45,469 What'd'ya talkin' about? 79 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,252 You got lots of those. 80 00:02:46,252 --> 00:02:48,950 None with my real name on 'em! 81 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:50,648 Besides, McCool took 'em away. 82 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,259 Like it's a crime to use someone else's credit card. 83 00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:54,956 Ah, you don't want one of them. 84 00:02:54,956 --> 00:02:56,001 What if someone steals it 85 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,395 and buys an Asian bride off the Internet? 86 00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,918 You bad man. 87 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,267 You promise better life! 88 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:04,531 Jimmy, I wanna live beyond our means 89 00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:05,793 like normal people. 90 00:03:05,793 --> 00:03:09,275 Alright, Cook, if you want a credit card so bad, 91 00:03:09,275 --> 00:03:11,234 I'll get ya one. 92 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,365 How the hell do ya get a credit card? 93 00:03:12,365 --> 00:03:13,845 It's easy. 94 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,542 You steal a lady's purse. You take her card. 95 00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:16,587 Bada boom-bada bing. 96 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:18,415 I mean legitimately. 97 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,590 I got nothin'. 98 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:22,723 Oh for chrissake, ya open a bank account! 99 00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:24,290 Fine. 100 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:25,160 I'll dig up the nest-egg and put it in the bank. 101 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,511 Ya don't gotta yell. 102 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:27,815 Cheech, get me a shovel. 103 00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:28,990 No problem. 104 00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:31,863 Ming! Ja mua cha! 105 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,647 Get you own damn shovel! 106 00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:39,218 In layman's terms, 107 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:40,393 the annual percentage rate is the rate--JIMMY THINKING: Geez, I never been in a bank 108 00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:43,004 for more than three and a half minutes. 109 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:45,093 Boy I miss those days. 110 00:03:45,093 --> 00:03:47,922 ["Nutcracker Suite" playing] 111 00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:58,063 ♪ 112 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,242 So, what do you think sir? 113 00:04:04,939 --> 00:04:07,638 I think I could take this place in about two and a half. 114 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:08,203 I meant in terms of interest. 115 00:04:08,203 --> 00:04:09,944 Hey, I'm here ain't I? 116 00:04:09,944 --> 00:04:14,340 So did you want the low risk interest rate of 0.1 percent 117 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,863 or did you want to lock it in at 6? 118 00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:17,952 So I can have 0.1 or 6 percent? 119 00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:18,997 That's right. 120 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,433 I'll take the 6. 121 00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:22,087 And you better have it by Friday! 122 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:22,783 Sorry. Old habits. 123 00:04:22,783 --> 00:04:25,003 [Grunting] 124 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,353 Your deposit slip. 125 00:04:27,353 --> 00:04:29,834 My life savings for a piece of paper... 126 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,096 And they call me a gangster? 127 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,706 Holy s---. 128 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,795 I'm rich! 129 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:37,537 Cookie! 130 00:04:37,537 --> 00:04:39,800 I got you a little something. 131 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,845 Yes! 132 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,934 A credit card! 133 00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:45,023 My favorite piece of plastic that doesn't vibrate. 134 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,241 Listen up, everyone. 135 00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:49,157 I learned a valuable lesson at the bank today: 136 00:04:49,157 --> 00:04:50,333 we're richer than we think! 137 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,682 What are you talking about? 138 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:52,857 It's easy. 139 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:53,727 You add the nest-egg I dug up from the yard 140 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,339 with the money I stashed under the furnace 141 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,732 minus the cash I sent to that Nigerian prince 142 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,386 and it equals... 143 00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:01,431 ALL: We're rich! 144 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,522 [Upbeat instrumental song playing] 145 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:10,918 ♪ 146 00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,791 [Both laughing] 147 00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:19,753 ♪ 148 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:20,798 [Both laughing] 149 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:26,978 ♪ 150 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,849 Don't you dare! 151 00:05:28,849 --> 00:05:39,643 ♪ 152 00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,691 [Both laughing] 153 00:05:44,691 --> 00:05:46,432 Geez... Ow... 154 00:05:49,435 --> 00:05:53,918 Yo Jimmy, ya gotta try this caviar and truffle sangwich. 155 00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,616 It's 600 bucks every time I take a bite. 156 00:05:56,616 --> 00:05:58,836 and it tastes just like chicken! 157 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,926 Nah, I'm too full from the narwhal soup. 158 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,319 We didn't spend too much yesterday, did we? 159 00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:05,538 Not at all! 160 00:06:05,538 --> 00:06:07,235 We bought mostly essentials. 161 00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:07,975 Ain't that right, Percy? 162 00:06:07,975 --> 00:06:10,804 [Roaring] 163 00:06:11,326 --> 00:06:13,154 What the hell? 164 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:14,721 My credit card's declined. 165 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:16,157 Last time someone declined me, I put their head in a vice. 166 00:06:16,157 --> 00:06:19,030 Run it again! 167 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,118 Same thing. 168 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:21,032 What's the problem? 169 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,207 What's the problem? 170 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,252 I'll tell ya the problem. 171 00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:26,080 I got some moron up my ass 172 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,169 askin' what the freakin' problem is! 173 00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:29,910 I don't believe this. Jimmy, gimme some cash. 174 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,653 Any chance we could run a tab? 175 00:06:35,176 --> 00:06:36,743 A Super Finger! 176 00:06:36,743 --> 00:06:38,528 Ooh, I so want one of those. 177 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:40,747 Mr. McDougal, your money is locked in 178 00:06:40,747 --> 00:06:43,315 for a period of no less than six months 179 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,838 due to the high interest rate. 180 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,275 I explained this all to you in great detail. 181 00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:49,060 Isn't there anything you can do? 182 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:49,800 How 'bout a loan? 183 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,019 Ya know we're good for it. 184 00:06:52,019 --> 00:06:54,979 I'm sorry Mrs. McDougal, but our records indicate 185 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,503 that you recently went on an insane spending spree 186 00:06:57,503 --> 00:06:59,244 and are now a significant credit risk. 187 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,072 Jimmy, what're we gonna do?! 188 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,900 What'd he say Cook? 189 00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:05,380 Holy crap! 190 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:06,469 We're broke?! 191 00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:11,909 So, now that all my money's locked up 192 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,954 I need ya to float me for the next six months. 193 00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:15,216 I'm sorry, Jimmy, 194 00:07:15,216 --> 00:07:17,784 but it's against witness protection rules. 195 00:07:17,784 --> 00:07:18,872 After we set you up with your first job, 196 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,528 your financial well-being is your own concern. 197 00:07:22,528 --> 00:07:24,182 I would love to offer you a personal loan-- 198 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,314 That's great! 199 00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:28,447 -- but I'm afraid I am on a strict budget. 200 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,275 Not only do I support Horse, myself, 201 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,016 and a village of Bushmen orphans, 202 00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:34,714 but every remaining dollar goes to my poor, aging mother 203 00:07:34,714 --> 00:07:37,151 and her insanely expensive BENGAY addiction. 204 00:07:37,151 --> 00:07:39,240 So you can't do nothin' for me? 205 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,547 Au contraire my friend, 206 00:07:41,547 --> 00:07:44,115 I can give you something even better than money. 207 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,856 More money?No. 208 00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,248 A money tree?No. 209 00:07:47,248 --> 00:07:48,989 A money factory?No. 210 00:07:48,989 --> 00:07:50,121 What the hell is better than money?! 211 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,340 If you say happiness or religion I'm outta here. 212 00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:55,518 A vigorous pep talk! 213 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,258 At times like this, 214 00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:59,565 a man has to reach deep down inside himself 215 00:07:59,565 --> 00:08:01,175 to find out what makes him a man. 216 00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:05,571 To find wherein lies the root of his true character! 217 00:08:05,571 --> 00:08:08,618 Let me read you a letter from one of my orphans. 218 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,923 [Clearing throat] 219 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:13,057 [Reading aloud foreign language with tongue clicks] 220 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,712 Jimmy? 221 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,757 Horse? 222 00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:18,715 [Roaring] 223 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,499 [Grunting] 224 00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,892 Back to the zoo with you, Mister! 225 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,633 [Growling] 226 00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:29,290 All right everyone, listen up. 227 00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:32,163 It looks like we're having a small cash flow problem. 228 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,079 If someone ain't payin' up, I say go for the knees. 229 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,907 Nah Gina, 230 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,344 your mother thinks we gotta live economical for a while. 231 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,867 So we're gonna have to cut back on a few things. 232 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:42,956 Theresa, that means no new clothes. 233 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:46,830 You mean no new clothes today, right? 234 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,310 Gina, no betting on long shots. 235 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:52,226 But Ol' Glue Factory in the fourth is lookin' real good! 236 00:08:52,226 --> 00:08:54,664 And Cheech, no more booze for a while. 237 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,536 Well, I had a good run. 238 00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:58,668 [Grunting] 239 00:08:58,668 --> 00:08:59,886 [Empty gun sound] 240 00:08:59,886 --> 00:09:01,322 Someone spot me a bullet? 241 00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:03,107 I'll pay you back. 242 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:04,456 This is great! 243 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,284 Now we can implement all the green initiatives 244 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,807 I've been suggesting. 245 00:09:07,807 --> 00:09:09,853 It'll force us to reduce our carbon footprint! 246 00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:12,246 We have to buy smaller shoes now too? 247 00:09:12,246 --> 00:09:12,943 Screw this! 248 00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:14,858 I know how to make money. 249 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,076 Theresa, you will not have sex for money. 250 00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:18,165 MOM! 251 00:09:18,165 --> 00:09:19,689 This is so unfair! 252 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,255 Now you kids listen to your mother. 253 00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:22,387 I gotta run. 254 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,693 I'm teein' off in an hour. 255 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,304 Jimmy, you march right down to that Tourism Bureau 256 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:28,306 and get your job back! 257 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,481 And you can forget about golf! 258 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:30,613 No more golf! 259 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,788 Cheech, 260 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:32,658 I'm callin' sloppy seconds on that bullet. 261 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,360 Hiyah! 262 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,927 I can't believe we have to ride the bus. 263 00:09:40,927 --> 00:09:41,624 We're turning into those people 264 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,756 who bring bags to the store 265 00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:45,671 because they can't afford plastic! 266 00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:46,629 Mass transit is good for the environment 267 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,588 and reduces CO2 emissions. 268 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:51,416 This is so unfair! 269 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,505 How can Daddy expect us to live on zero dollars a day? 270 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,637 That's almost nothing! 271 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,986 What'sa matter with you two? 272 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:59,250 You been living off a Pop, like, forever. 273 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,817 Me? 274 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,035 I been earnin' for myself since pre-school. 275 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,951 You want somethin' in this life, you take it. 276 00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:05,343 Simple as that. 277 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,388 She's right. 278 00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:09,129 Not about the stealing, of course, 279 00:10:09,129 --> 00:10:11,305 but there are things we can do to make our own money, 280 00:10:11,305 --> 00:10:13,220 like collecting bottles for recycling. 281 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:14,352 Really? 282 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,310 Tell me more. 283 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,225 Well, recycling saves resources, 284 00:10:18,225 --> 00:10:19,400 reduces smog-- 285 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,401 Tch tch tch. 286 00:10:20,401 --> 00:10:22,012 The money part. 287 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,840 They pay for bottles, 288 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,190 so we can earn money and save the planet 289 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,408 at the same time. 290 00:10:27,408 --> 00:10:30,716 Driver, take me to where we save the planet! 291 00:10:30,716 --> 00:10:31,935 Sure! 292 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:33,763 It's one stop past where we save world hunger! 293 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:34,807 Stupid kid... 294 00:10:37,984 --> 00:10:38,985 Morning! 295 00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:42,075 Um, Jimmy, I don't think you-- 296 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,120 Sorry, can't talk. Lotta work to do. 297 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,426 Gotta put the ol' nose in the grindstone, so-- 298 00:10:45,426 --> 00:10:48,342 Oh, I'm sorry Jimmy, but didn't you quit? 299 00:10:48,342 --> 00:10:50,649 What?! Quit? 300 00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:51,737 What are you kiddin'? 301 00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:53,130 I love this job. 302 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,872 I love whatever it is we, uh, do here. 303 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,047 I'm sorry, 304 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,222 but you were very clear 305 00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:01,529 that you wanted to terminate your employment. 306 00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:02,574 Toby, that's not my ass! 307 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,968 My ass is in color. 308 00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:08,058 Jimmy, as much as I'd like to give you your job back, 309 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,755 we've already hired someone else. 310 00:11:09,755 --> 00:11:12,671 [Screeching] 311 00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:13,716 So fire him! 312 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,239 No can do. 313 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:17,284 Last time I did that, his union was all over me. 314 00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:20,113 [All screeching] 315 00:11:21,854 --> 00:11:25,162 So, did Toby give ya your job back? 316 00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:27,991 Yeah Cheech, my first day back and he gave me the day off. 317 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:31,646 Well, looks like I gotta find some other job. 318 00:11:31,646 --> 00:11:33,170 Good thing you got the day off. 319 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,215 You don't know what it's like out there, Jimmy. 320 00:11:35,215 --> 00:11:36,739 It's dog eat dog, 321 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,392 people killin' each other to climb the corporate ladder. 322 00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:41,482 You look the wrong way, somebody stabs ya in the back. 323 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,007 Wait a minute. 324 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,183 You know exactly what it's like out there. 325 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,532 Yeah, I do! 326 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:48,489 Who knows? 327 00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:50,796 Maybe I'll get one of them CEO jobs 328 00:11:50,796 --> 00:11:52,972 where I can screw up and ask for a bailout. 329 00:11:52,972 --> 00:11:54,452 I'm gonna get a job too. 330 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,627 Atta boy, Cheech. 331 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:58,021 Ya think I got a good voice for phone sex? 332 00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:03,591 Yo Ma, are we poor? 333 00:12:03,591 --> 00:12:05,419 No Gina, we're not poor. 334 00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:06,681 We're just a little light right now. 335 00:12:06,681 --> 00:12:08,509 That's an actual thing? 336 00:12:08,509 --> 00:12:10,250 I thought it was somethin' deadbeats said 337 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,382 when they don't wanna pay. 338 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,210 No, it's an actual thing. 339 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,907 So if you're not poor, 340 00:12:14,907 --> 00:12:16,953 why are you buying all this generic crap? 341 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:20,217 Grumpy Green Giant, Hamburger Hindrance, 342 00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,871 Room Temperature Pockets?! 343 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,437 Who buys this stuff?! 344 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:25,222 Immigrants and hobos, honey. 345 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,963 Don't forget the elderly! 346 00:12:28,268 --> 00:12:30,053 No one's talkin' to you, Toots! 347 00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,100 Theresa, 348 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,581 just because it's called "dumpster diving" 349 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,365 doesn't mean you actually have to dive. 350 00:12:38,365 --> 00:12:39,627 I know... 351 00:12:39,627 --> 00:12:40,628 You do! 352 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:42,152 Ahhhhh! 353 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,153 [Grunting] 354 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,155 How much did we make?! 355 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,939 Pfft. 356 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,902 Can you believe this is the only job we could get? 357 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,773 I got 20 years experience runnin' a family business, 358 00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:57,776 but no freakin' references. 359 00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,169 You know who'da been a good reference? 360 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,431 Don Gambini. 361 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,649 He thought the world of you... 362 00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:03,303 'til you whacked him. 363 00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:05,349 Welcome to Blue Ball Ranch, boys. 364 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,960 What we do here is extract bull semen for export. 365 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,789 And how exactly do we do that? 366 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,791 Same way ya do at home. 367 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,314 You mean in front of the window, 368 00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:15,402 with the neighbors watching? 369 00:13:15,402 --> 00:13:17,317 [Grunting] 370 00:13:17,317 --> 00:13:20,625 [Groaning] 371 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:21,756 God, my arm is tired. 372 00:13:21,756 --> 00:13:23,758 Your arm?! 373 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:25,848 Yugh. 374 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:31,201 Thirty-two bucks?! That's it? 375 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:34,552 A broad who does the same job gets at least 80 bucks an hour! 376 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:35,640 A hundred if she does it like Cheech. 377 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,425 I still don't understand what your job is, Jimmy. 378 00:13:38,425 --> 00:13:41,341 I don't bring my work home, unless it gets on my shirt. 379 00:13:41,341 --> 00:13:42,777 Well, ya gotta find somethin' else. 380 00:13:42,777 --> 00:13:44,779 We're barely scraping by! 381 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:46,172 We can't pay our bills, 382 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,478 and now Cheech is eatin' dog food. 383 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,088 It makes my coat shiny. 384 00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:50,655 Cook, this is temporary. 385 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,483 We'll get through it. 386 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,179 Have I ever let you down? 387 00:13:53,179 --> 00:13:55,051 Not until now you haven't. 388 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,095 What's this? 389 00:13:56,095 --> 00:13:57,488 A pawn shop ticket. 390 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,925 I hocked my engagement ring to buy groceries. 391 00:13:59,925 --> 00:14:01,057 You did what?! 392 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,276 Well someone has to provide for this family, 393 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,975 and right now that someone ain't you! 394 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,107 I can't believe you sold it without talking to me. 395 00:14:08,107 --> 00:14:09,065 I was hungry! 396 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,457 I couldn't think straight! 397 00:14:10,457 --> 00:14:13,417 I know things are bad, but look on the bright side. 398 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:16,115 They can't possibly get worse. 399 00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:17,029 Aaand they just got worse. 400 00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:19,858 CHEECH: Jesus Jimmy, I'm blind! 401 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,599 This is what we get for messin' with them bulls. 402 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:29,607 Are you kiddin' me? 403 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:30,651 What?! 404 00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:31,609 I saw candles! 405 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,263 I thought romance was in the air. 406 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,438 Along with a hint of lavender. 407 00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:38,094 That's Cheech burnin' furniture to stay warm. 408 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,878 And ya can forget foolin' around. 409 00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:41,314 The mortgage company's breathin' down our necks. 410 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:44,448 If we don't pay on time, we lose the house. 411 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,667 Ten minutes of sweaty gropin' ain't gonna help. 412 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:49,322 Can't hurt. 413 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,151 What, so now you won't sleep with me 'coz I got no money? 414 00:14:52,151 --> 00:14:53,674 I won't sleep with ya 'coz I got no ring. 415 00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:55,807 It'd be a sin. 416 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,200 What about our vows? 417 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,506 For richer and for poorer? 418 00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:01,726 I'm an Italian girl from Brooklyn. 419 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,641 I crossed my fingers during the poorer part. 420 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,425 What about durin' the "obey" part? 421 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:08,515 Yeah, I'm sleepin' on the couch, ain't I? 422 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,609 Hey, where'd you get all that money? 423 00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:16,610 Do I ask you about your business? 424 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,699 Listen kid, 425 00:15:18,699 --> 00:15:20,658 ya think ya could loan me a few bucks? 426 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,399 I might be able to help yas out. 427 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:24,357 You're a life saver. 428 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,402 At 18 percent. 429 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,055 WHAT?! That's crazy! 430 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,274 That's highway robbery! 431 00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:29,232 That's-- 432 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,798 That's my girl. 433 00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:32,713 If ya don't mind my sayin', Pop, 434 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,759 you're stoopin' pretty low borrowin' money off a kid. 435 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:35,890 Tell me about it, 436 00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:38,154 but I don't know what else to do. 437 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,460 You can act like a man! 438 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,505 [Mocking] Wah! 439 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,549 I don't know what else to do. 440 00:15:42,549 --> 00:15:44,682 Get out there. 441 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,292 Pull some jobs! 442 00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:47,990 There's banks, liquor stores, 443 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,774 convenience stores, credit unions-- 444 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,602 and that's just robberies. 445 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,734 You could be out there runnin' numbers, 446 00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:56,215 pimpin' broads, sellin' protection, 447 00:15:56,215 --> 00:15:58,913 but instead you're sittin' around like a schmuck! 448 00:15:58,913 --> 00:16:01,220 I don't even know you anymore. 449 00:16:02,569 --> 00:16:03,570 Geez, maybe she's right. 450 00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:04,745 [Doorbell ringing] 451 00:16:04,745 --> 00:16:05,659 I got it! 452 00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:09,315 JIMMY: Ah! Oh! Jesus! Die! F---! 453 00:16:09,315 --> 00:16:10,882 Jimmy. 454 00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:14,103 I've been concerned about your descent into abject poverty. 455 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,408 How are things? 456 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,715 To be honest, which is hard for me around cops, 457 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,630 not too good. 458 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,633 You're not considering a return to a life of crime, are you? 459 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:25,592 To be dishonest, which is way more up my alley, 460 00:16:25,592 --> 00:16:27,420 no, not at all. 461 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,856 Take solace, Jimmy. 462 00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:30,423 Sweet Mother Canada stands at the bottom of the abyss, 463 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,644 waiting to cradle you in the silky embrace 464 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,993 of her social safety net. 465 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,777 Say again? In American. 466 00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,431 Tomorrow, 467 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,345 I want you to march down to the Service Canada office 468 00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:42,435 and apply for Employment Insurance. 469 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,523 What the hell is that? 470 00:16:43,523 --> 00:16:44,568 It's just like Unemployment Insurance 471 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:47,223 except they put a positive spin on the name 472 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,225 so the indigent don't feel like enormous bloodsucking leeches. 473 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:50,748 Which, of course, they are not. 474 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,749 Who sucked what? 475 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,751 Trust me, Jimmy, 476 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,580 your adopted nation has your back. 477 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:59,322 For Canada, where you can get money for nothing, 478 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,324 but the chicks aren't free! 479 00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,065 [Whooooosh!] 480 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:08,026 [Man screaming in agony] 481 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,594 [Convulsing noisly] 482 00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,943 That didn't work. 483 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,118 Next? 484 00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:14,946 [Convulsing noisly] 485 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,295 Go on, Petey. 486 00:17:16,295 --> 00:17:16,861 I'm not sure about this. 487 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:19,037 I love experiments. 488 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:20,952 I just don't want to be experimented on. 489 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,432 If you don't Petey, 490 00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,695 they'll do it on an innocent little animal. 491 00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,479 [Sad music playing] 492 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:30,004 ♪ 493 00:17:30,004 --> 00:17:30,440 Okay, okay, I'll do it! 494 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,007 Great! 495 00:17:33,007 --> 00:17:35,793 [Bunny screeching, groaning] 496 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,751 [Door opening] 497 00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:39,579 How'd it go? 498 00:17:39,579 --> 00:17:41,015 I feel surprisingly fine. 499 00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:42,887 At first I was scared, 500 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:45,019 but after the probe everything went dark and-- 501 00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:46,151 That's great! 502 00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:47,196 Where do we get paid? 503 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,025 Will there be any side effects from this? 504 00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:53,115 Absolutely not. 505 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,117 [Roaring] 506 00:18:02,602 --> 00:18:04,648 I'm sorry sir. 507 00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,780 It says here you quit your full-time job, 508 00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:09,218 which means you're ineligible for employment insurance. 509 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,133 Who, me? I didn't quit! 510 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,526 I quit! 511 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,658 So you're tellin' me I don't even qualify 512 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,659 for a handout? 513 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,355 Next in line. 514 00:18:16,355 --> 00:18:18,531 Yeah, but--NEXT! 515 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,576 All right. 516 00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:20,446 My wife don't respect me, 517 00:18:20,446 --> 00:18:22,622 my daughter thinks I'm a schmuck, 518 00:18:22,622 --> 00:18:23,188 and I'm gonna lose my house. 519 00:18:23,188 --> 00:18:25,103 Time to go back to work! 520 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:28,193 And by work, I mean crime. 521 00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,586 Crime?! 522 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,456 Why didn't ya think of that before? 523 00:18:30,456 --> 00:18:33,416 The answer was right in front of ya! 524 00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,157 Sometimes I wonder about you, Jimmy. 525 00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:41,337 You know, I'm starting to think you care more about money 526 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,948 than you do about saving the Earth. 527 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,297 That's ridiculous. 528 00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:46,516 I totally care about the Earth! 529 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:49,823 I also care about the Russian businessman 530 00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:50,737 who lives on the Earth 531 00:18:50,737 --> 00:18:53,523 and happens to need your kidney... 532 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,264 My what?! 533 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,397 Are you guys gonna take long? 534 00:18:58,397 --> 00:18:59,398 Of course not. 535 00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:02,401 Now we must take organs while fresh. 536 00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:03,402 [Machines whirring, blades slashing] 537 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,930 Hey sleepy head. 538 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:12,237 [Teeth chattering] 539 00:19:12,237 --> 00:19:14,152 S-s-s-so cold. 540 00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:16,198 Yeah, about that. 541 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,722 I had a slight miscommunication with these guys. 542 00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:20,332 I thought they were just takin' a kidney, 543 00:19:20,332 --> 00:19:21,681 but they wanted everything! 544 00:19:21,681 --> 00:19:24,597 Heart, lungs, even your do-dad. 545 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,251 Which the one guy wanted for a necklace. 546 00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:27,209 What?! 547 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:28,427 But I couldn't let them do it. 548 00:19:28,427 --> 00:19:30,995 Oh thank God. 549 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,039 Petey, I may have been using 550 00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:33,519 your dumb infatuation with the Earth 551 00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:34,912 to get important things like money, 552 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:37,349 and I'm sorry. 553 00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:38,916 I know. It's okay. 554 00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:40,134 In the end you stuck up for your little brother, 555 00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:43,529 which warms my frozen heart. 556 00:19:43,529 --> 00:19:45,575 Your heart coulda got me ten grand, 557 00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,708 but I'm glad it's still inside you. 558 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:48,882 [Teeth chattering] 559 00:19:48,882 --> 00:19:50,754 AH! 560 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,234 You're freezing, you little freak! 561 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,235 You trying to kill me?! 562 00:19:57,369 --> 00:19:59,502 Man, I been keepin' a lid on my criminal side so long, 563 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:00,720 I feel rusty. 564 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,635 [Cracking neck and knuckles] 565 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,376 JIMMY THINKING: Ah, that's better. 566 00:20:04,376 --> 00:20:06,683 I could rob that jewelry store. 567 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,511 Or snatch that lady's purse. 568 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,990 Hell, I could do both! 569 00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:11,688 Rob that jewelry store 570 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:14,081 and then carry the jewels home in the purse. 571 00:20:14,081 --> 00:20:16,997 Good thinkin', Jimmy-boy! 572 00:20:16,997 --> 00:20:20,784 Nah, if I'm gonna do this, it's gotta be somethin' big. 573 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,960 Bingo! 574 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,049 Aw man, what the hell am I doin'? 575 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,791 What are you waitin' for? 576 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,359 Some idiot left the keys in a truck fulla money! 577 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,534 Don't do it Jimmy. 578 00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:32,970 If you get caught, 579 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,885 that will mean the end of your witness protection. 580 00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:36,234 I ain't gettin' caught. 581 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,410 But if you do, I can no longer protect you. 582 00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:41,283 Like you need this gavone to protect you. 583 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,981 Jimmy, you would be endangering the lives of your family. 584 00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:46,375 McCool's right, Jimmy. 585 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,680 Yeah, Pop. Don't do it. 586 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:47,854 It is a lot of money though. 587 00:20:47,854 --> 00:20:48,986 Theresa! 588 00:20:48,986 --> 00:20:52,206 I'm just saying. 589 00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:53,295 What? 590 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,948 You guys took all the good costumes. 591 00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:56,472 All right, I made up my mind. 592 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,038 I'm pretty sure I can risk it. 593 00:20:58,038 --> 00:20:59,039 Jimmy, no! 594 00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,345 but I won't risk it for my family. 595 00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:03,000 I already put 'em through this once. 596 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,001 I ain't gonna do it again. 597 00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:05,785 Hurray! For Cana-- 598 00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,179 Hurry up and steal the truck. 599 00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:09,920 I need booze money. 600 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,923 I just hallucinated little people crawlin' all over ya. 601 00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:14,403 Hey, some idiot left the keys in this truck! 602 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:22,498 Well Jimmy, I guess it's back to jerkin' bulls. 603 00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,674 Remember the ol' days when we were short on cash? 604 00:21:24,674 --> 00:21:27,459 We'd just throw a junior goodfella under a bus 605 00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:29,940 and fleece the transit company for the insurance settlement. 606 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:32,377 Oh yeah, the good ol' days. 607 00:21:32,377 --> 00:21:33,378 [Honking] 608 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:40,777 Can I wash these down with a little scotch? 609 00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:42,474 Nope. Doctor's orders. 610 00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:46,260 I'm sorry for everything I put you through, Cook. 611 00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:46,870 I got ya a little somethin'. 612 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:49,873 Oh, Jimmy! 613 00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:52,702 I love you! 614 00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,880 [Roaring] 615 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,795 Jesus Christ! 616 00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:00,405 Get me a bottle! I'm hallucinatin' again. 617 00:22:02,494 --> 00:22:21,383 [♪]