1 00:00:00,956 --> 00:00:02,915 How'ya doin'? 2 00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:05,048 I'm the FBI informant and shell of a man 3 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,267 formerly known as Jimmy Falcone. 4 00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:09,617 One thing I don't miss about the old life 5 00:00:09,617 --> 00:00:12,229 is how nobody did nothin' without an interior motive. 6 00:00:13,882 --> 00:00:15,493 Oh, Frankie brought cake! 7 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,669 Really? What's the occasion? 8 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,758 What, I need an occasion to do somethin' nice? 9 00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:25,024 Kill my brother in law? 10 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,591 Before or after the sugar high, 11 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,027 ya lazy bastard? 12 00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:29,507 Thanks for helping me move, Joe. 13 00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:30,943 No problem! 14 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,858 Just help me get these on the truck. 15 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,296 JIMMY: And it didn't matter how small the favour. 16 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:38,081 They always expected somethin' in return. 17 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:39,473 Really Joe? 18 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,301 Ya moved like one box! 19 00:00:42,824 --> 00:00:44,348 Thanks for drivin' us to the airport, Bruno. 20 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,916 Here, swallow these. 21 00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:50,049 You'll need a laxative when ya land... 22 00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:53,357 Your brother-in-law says "hey". 23 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,837 [Choking] 24 00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:57,274 I'm gonna need that laxative. 25 00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,145 Here in the Great Bland North, 26 00:00:59,145 --> 00:01:01,016 people are nice for no reason at all. 27 00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:03,106 Gives me the creeps. 28 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,716 I still haven't figured out their angle. 29 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,370 But if you think I'll ever 30 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:09,155 get used to Canadian polite-itude, you can... 31 00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:10,200 [Farts] 32 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,636 Hey the drugs came out! 33 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,941 Fugget about it. 34 00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:15,640 ♪ Lemme tell you somethin' 35 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:16,945 ♪ 'bout a friend of ours named Jimmy ♪ 36 00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:19,470 ♪ A "made" wise guy and a capo with Gambini ♪ 37 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:23,169 ♪ But then he found out they'd be whackin' Uncle Cheech ♪ 38 00:01:23,169 --> 00:01:25,824 ♪ He take the boss and threw him the nineteenth floor suite ♪ 39 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:28,870 ♪ Wasn't much long till the mob all wants him dead ♪ 40 00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:32,657 ♪ So Jimmy had no choice but to talk to all the feds ♪ 41 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:35,442 ♪ The feds said they'd help if they can use him as a pawn ♪ 42 00:01:35,442 --> 00:01:37,879 ♪ So he ratted out his friends and moved t'Saskatchewan ♪ 43 00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:39,316 ♪ Fugget about it! 44 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,795 ♪ Fugget about it! 45 00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:41,796 ♪ Fugget about it! 46 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:43,146 Oh! Fugget about it! 47 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,976 And the answer to 48 00:01:47,976 --> 00:01:50,414 "What Sexual Position Are You" is... 49 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,633 "Missionary?!" 50 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:54,374 Stupid online quiz. 51 00:01:54,374 --> 00:01:56,855 I thought for sure I'd get Belgian Wishbone. 52 00:01:58,465 --> 00:02:00,772 That was there when I got here... 53 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,034 and I need a new computer. 54 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,905 No problem, Jimmy! 55 00:02:03,905 --> 00:02:06,081 So last night I was at home thinking about you, 56 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:07,909 long and hard... 57 00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:09,259 [Giggles] 58 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,043 It occurred to me what a breath of fresh air 59 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,566 you've been to this office. 60 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,439 And I wanted to show my appreciation. 61 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,746 So... what do ya want? 62 00:02:18,746 --> 00:02:20,183 Nothing, Jimmy. 63 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,314 Want me to whack somebody? 64 00:02:21,314 --> 00:02:22,924 Oh gosh, no! 65 00:02:22,924 --> 00:02:24,361 Move some merchandise? 66 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,537 Not at all.Then what is it? 67 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,495 It's just a cake, Jimmy. 68 00:02:28,495 --> 00:02:30,410 I also wanted to give you a hug. 69 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:32,673 But provincial guidelines forbid it, 70 00:02:32,673 --> 00:02:34,980 so I got you a 'Hug Mug' instead! 71 00:02:36,851 --> 00:02:38,288 I don't know what to say. 72 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:41,204 I'm... I'm very confused. 73 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:44,207 Oh look, your uncle is here! 74 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:45,469 Hey slugger! 75 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,558 Lookit you! I love this kid! 76 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,473 What a face! 77 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:52,389 Now get outta here, champ. Who's that schmuck? 78 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,868 What are ya doin' here, Cheech? 79 00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:55,305 My printer's on the fritz. 80 00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,916 Paper jam?Nah, I shot it. 81 00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,179 No one tells Cheech Falcone 82 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,529 to "load cyan cartridge". 83 00:03:02,529 --> 00:03:04,183 I gotta print some pictures of cats 84 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,316 askin' for cheeseburgers.No ya don't. 85 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:08,753 How else am I s'posed to share 'em with my friends? 86 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,363 Get with the future, Jimmy. 87 00:03:10,363 --> 00:03:12,278 A] you're not stealin' my printer, 88 00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,975 B] ya got no friends, 89 00:03:13,975 --> 00:03:16,282 and C] get the [bleep] outta my office. 90 00:03:16,282 --> 00:03:17,805 Ya didn't say there was gonna be a test! 91 00:03:17,805 --> 00:03:18,980 I'm outta here! 92 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,636 Vagina Tourism. 93 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,029 CHEECH: Yo, this thing prints in color, right? 94 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,076 Goddammit! What did I say? 95 00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:30,644 You printer-stealin' mother[bleep], 96 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,516 I oughta rip your [bleep] head off 97 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,475 and shove it straight up your [bleep] wazoo! 98 00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:36,911 Okay Jimmy, thanks! 99 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,438 Uh... Jimmy, we should talk about that anger, 100 00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,310 right after I change my pants. 101 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,491 Sorry I had to knock with my boot-- 102 00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:54,102 You can knock boots here anytime, McCool. 103 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:55,930 [Chuckles] 104 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,541 It appears Gina somehow 105 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,891 got ahold of my, er, handcuffs... 106 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,371 ...and I need the keys. 107 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,461 Well lookie here! 108 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,463 Our big Mountie's in handcuffs. 109 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,073 [Chuckles] 110 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,683 I wonder if he's ticklish? 111 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,250 Will you stop! 112 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,687 Haha! This is highly irregular! 113 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,863 Haha! Ladies stop! 114 00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:16,995 Hahaha! 115 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,866 Ya want those keys, 116 00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:20,781 you're gonna have to give us somethin', McCool. 117 00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:22,870 Yeah! Dance! 118 00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:24,350 Certainly not! 119 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,440 [Giggles] 120 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,268 [All giggle] 121 00:04:31,879 --> 00:04:33,185 For cryin out loud! 122 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,621 Here-- Let him go! 123 00:04:34,621 --> 00:04:37,058 You're takin' all the fun outta illegal confinement. 124 00:04:37,058 --> 00:04:38,930 Gina Madonna Falcone 125 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,932 you're confined to your room for the rest of the day 126 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,499 for this little stunt. 127 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,674 Pfft. 128 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,328 I can do that standin' on my head. 129 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,547 That's gonna give ya a bald spot. 130 00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:51,246 I'm not actually standin' on my head, genius. 131 00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:53,640 Cookie, have you ever thought of enrolling Gina 132 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,860 in the 'Scared Straight' program? 133 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,252 Is that when hardened criminals 134 00:04:57,252 --> 00:04:58,819 yell and intimidate kids? 135 00:04:58,819 --> 00:05:00,473 'Coz that's dinner at our house. 136 00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:03,084 Early prevention is crucial for wayward youth. 137 00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:06,436 In my spare time I volunteer with at-risk children who-- 138 00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,394 Yeah, yeah, scared straight, you're a saint, I get it. 139 00:05:08,394 --> 00:05:10,918 Now, what are ya gonna gimme for these keys? 140 00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:16,054 I'm confused, Toby, you never get mad. 141 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,838 What do you know about anger management? 142 00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:19,710 Oh, Jimmy. 143 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,016 I'm angry in ways that defy logic 144 00:05:22,016 --> 00:05:23,583 and international convention. 145 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:26,630 But, I manage my anger issues. 146 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,109 I don't got angry issues, 147 00:05:28,109 --> 00:05:29,633 my uncle was just drivin' me nuts! 148 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,069 Can I go? 149 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,506 You can't blame family for pushing your buttons. 150 00:05:33,506 --> 00:05:35,595 That's called deflecting. 151 00:05:35,595 --> 00:05:37,597 Guess who's getting a gold star? 152 00:05:37,597 --> 00:05:38,903 Boop! 153 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,905 You try livin' with a nutjob like Cheech. 154 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,950 He doesn't just push buttons. 155 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:44,865 He craps on 'em and doesn't flush. 156 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:47,520 I have a family member who's hard to deal with, Jimmy. 157 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,827 Why don't you come to my house for dinner 158 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,656 and see how I deal with my hard member? 159 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,875 Can I come, too? 160 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,052 Any more questions? 161 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:03,536 Why do I gotta go to prison? 162 00:06:03,536 --> 00:06:05,538 Ya got your damn keys back, didn'tcha? 163 00:06:05,538 --> 00:06:07,540 Yes, but I had to promise your mother 164 00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:09,803 a summer of yard work in my daisy dukes. 165 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,240 In any case, this is the intake 166 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,199 where they check convicts for contraband. 167 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,812 Ya missed a few things. 168 00:06:21,075 --> 00:06:23,426 Gord Downey's impenetrable lyrics! 169 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,210 What do you need with all these weapons? 170 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,125 How else am I supposed to make someone my bitch? 171 00:06:29,649 --> 00:06:30,955 What was that for? 172 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,565 She was reachin' for the rubber gloves! 173 00:06:32,565 --> 00:06:34,480 I know what that means! 174 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,265 Alright, now take me to jail. 175 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,357 Where ya goin'?Out for dinner. 176 00:06:42,357 --> 00:06:43,750 Great, I'll get my coat. 177 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,056 Keep your coat. I'm goin' alone. 178 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,449 But I'm starvin'! 179 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,059 There's never any food around here. 180 00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:51,323 Awww. Leftovers again? 181 00:06:58,504 --> 00:06:59,810 [Sighs] 182 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,681 What are ya gonna do? I'm here now. 183 00:07:01,681 --> 00:07:04,554 Alright fine, but be on your best behavior. 184 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,946 That's my boss' house. 185 00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:07,774 Church rules, okay? 186 00:07:07,774 --> 00:07:10,473 Right. The pants stay on. 187 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,909 I know Cheech wasn't invited, 188 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,345 but he tagged along anyhow. 189 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,912 See what I mean about this guy? 190 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,870 This is why you're here. 191 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,134 To see how I deal with my own "Uncle Cheech". 192 00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,572 Ha ha! 193 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,835 Hi Mom, good one. 194 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,967 Who are these dicks? 195 00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:29,143 This is Jimmy and his Uncle Cheech. 196 00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:31,668 Guys, this is my Mom, Greta. 197 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,800 Hey jerks, check this out-- 198 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,367 [Farts] 199 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:36,760 C'mon, how 'bout now? 200 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,849 What'd I have for lunch? 201 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,068 Guess I'll get dinner on the table. 202 00:07:41,068 --> 00:07:43,027 My thong's chaffin'. 203 00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,289 Be right back. 204 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:45,725 Jesus, what a monster. 205 00:07:45,725 --> 00:07:48,162 Toby didn't even flinch. That's impressive. 206 00:07:48,162 --> 00:07:50,382 No, Jimmy, that's impressive. 207 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,736 An ugly statue of a Goose? 208 00:07:56,736 --> 00:07:59,913 That "ugly" statue is the Gibraltar Goose. 209 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,262 It's worth a fortune. 210 00:08:01,262 --> 00:08:02,873 People been cuttin' each others throats 211 00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,222 to get their hands on it forever. 212 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,963 I had it once, 213 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,573 but it slipped through my fingers... 214 00:08:07,573 --> 00:08:09,532 I killed my best friend, 215 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,359 double-crossed my mother, 216 00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:13,405 and betrayed the woman I love, 217 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,799 but I finally got ya! 218 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:18,497 Next stop, Coney Island! 219 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:19,933 Oooh, rolly-coaster! 220 00:08:21,848 --> 00:08:25,286 I tried to get it back, but I was outta subway tokens. 221 00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:27,071 This here Goose is the stuff 222 00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,768 dreams are made outta, Jimmy. 223 00:08:28,768 --> 00:08:30,988 Well don't get any ideas about stealin' it. 224 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,206 What's eatin' you? 225 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:33,512 Toby's tryin' to help me. 226 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,774 You're not robbin' him! 227 00:08:34,774 --> 00:08:36,994 Rob him? I don't even know who he is! 228 00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,648 [Both struggle] 229 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,259 Gimme that... Let go of it! 230 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,087 I said hands off! 231 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,305 Jimmy! 232 00:08:44,305 --> 00:08:46,307 Stop abusing Uncle Cheech! 233 00:08:46,307 --> 00:08:48,396 This is not how you deal with anger! 234 00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:50,007 [Farts] 235 00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,922 It's hummus, for Christ sake. 236 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,445 I had hummus. 237 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:54,664 [Chuckles] 238 00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:00,321 The barista gave me cinnamon sprinkles 239 00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:02,149 instead of chocolate. 240 00:09:02,149 --> 00:09:05,326 I spoke very sharply to her manager. 241 00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:07,807 I'm a monster! 242 00:09:07,807 --> 00:09:12,029 I just want to cut myself, over and over-- 243 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,422 Hold that thought Agnes. 244 00:09:14,422 --> 00:09:17,687 I want to focus on someone who really needs help. 245 00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,210 Jimmy? 246 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,516 Is there anything you'd like to talk about? 247 00:09:21,516 --> 00:09:23,083 Why yes there is. 248 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,955 I move that these meetings be catered. 249 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,610 Someone's deflecting again! 250 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,612 What was it Cheech did last night 251 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,483 that made you want to, what was it? 252 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,180 'Skull bang him straight to hell'? 253 00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:34,834 Whatever he did... 254 00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,488 [Sighs] 255 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:39,099 I have learned that I can't be responsible 256 00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:42,755 for his behaviours, only for mine own. 257 00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:44,322 Question for the group - 258 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:47,238 who's getting a gold star today? 259 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,675 Not Agnes, I'll goddamn tell you that. 260 00:09:49,675 --> 00:09:52,286 Boop! 261 00:09:52,286 --> 00:09:54,071 And speaking of Cheech. 262 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,900 Did you know he asked my mom out on a date, 263 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,206 and she said, [bleep] yes, end quote. 264 00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:00,686 Isn't that great, Jimmy? 265 00:10:00,686 --> 00:10:02,253 We'll practically be brothers! 266 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,694 Call off the date, Cheech. 267 00:10:08,694 --> 00:10:10,261 No can do. 268 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,479 I really like this broad. 269 00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:13,438 Gimme a break! You're just usin' her. 270 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,658 Keep your hands off that freakin' goose, capice? 271 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,877 Ya got it all wrong, Jimbo. 272 00:10:17,877 --> 00:10:20,445 I wanna woo this dame, show her a good time, 273 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,926 make her feel good, then-- 274 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,275 Rob her blind? 275 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,580 No! 276 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,495 Bang her in the back seat! 277 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:30,455 ...of the car. ...in her butt. 278 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,762 Oh, and I'm borrowin' the SUV. 279 00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,463 Think you're tough? 280 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:41,205 I eat tough for breakfast... sometimes a smoothie. 281 00:10:42,423 --> 00:10:44,425 I'm doin' ten years for robbery. 282 00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:46,384 Got caught 'cause my tank was empty. 283 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:49,256 Worst part is, I was robbin' a gas station. 284 00:10:49,256 --> 00:10:50,954 Isn't it ironic? 285 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,347 Get outta my head, Alanis! 286 00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:54,740 What a mook. 287 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,002 What'd you say to me? 288 00:10:56,002 --> 00:10:58,526 You're a mook, a gafone, a stronz. 289 00:10:58,526 --> 00:11:00,137 Don't ya speak English? 290 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,616 Robbin' a gas station? 291 00:11:01,616 --> 00:11:03,618 Get some [bleep] class! 292 00:11:03,618 --> 00:11:04,707 Banks are where it's at! 293 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:08,580 Ya strap a bomb to your chest and pretend you're a victim. 294 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,495 "Empty the vault 295 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,976 or they splatter me all over this joint!" 296 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,107 Ya with me so far? 297 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,894 Then hand off the money to an accomplice 298 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,547 while the cops are busy with the bomb on your chest. 299 00:11:19,547 --> 00:11:21,027 [Gasps] 300 00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:24,161 Ya give the fuzz a bogus description of the "robbers" 301 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,076 so they don't know who the hell they're lookin' for. 302 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,948 Then meet up with your friend, get the cash, 303 00:11:28,948 --> 00:11:30,428 and stick a knife in his back. 304 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,430 Right McCool? 305 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,867 Sweet blessed Monarchy. 306 00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:37,217 Yo, this advice ain't free. 307 00:11:37,217 --> 00:11:39,002 Gimme all your cigarettes. 308 00:11:43,049 --> 00:11:46,400 Oh Jimmy, this is so romantic! 309 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,229 I can't remember the last time ya wined and dined me. 310 00:11:49,229 --> 00:11:51,057 What say we sneak into the bathroom 311 00:11:51,057 --> 00:11:52,842 for a little appetizer? 312 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,626 [Giggles] 313 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,976 Sure, get an appetizer. Who gives a [bleep]? 314 00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,673 Are you even listenin' to me? 315 00:11:58,673 --> 00:12:00,240 Why do ya keep lookin' over there? 316 00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:05,028 Oh God, ya brought me here 317 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,638 just so ya could watch Cheech? 318 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,118 So what? 319 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,337 I can't sit by myself like some pathetic loser. 320 00:12:10,337 --> 00:12:11,861 Hey! 321 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,340 Ugh!Where ya goin'? 322 00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:16,213 You're spyin' on your elderly uncle while he's on a date. 323 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:19,172 Ya got some serious problems, Jimmy. 324 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,566 Who's pathetic now? 325 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,568 Still you.Yeah. 326 00:12:26,527 --> 00:12:29,313 [Moaning] 327 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,402 He's givin' her the ol' Belgian Wishbone! 328 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:34,448 Oh, that's nasty... 329 00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:39,323 CHEECH: Moussaka! 330 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,325 GRETA: Opa! 331 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:42,935 You hear that, Toby? 332 00:12:42,935 --> 00:12:44,458 He got it on the first try! 333 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,460 CHEECH: Who's Toby? 334 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,201 [Chuckles] 335 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,988 What's your game here, Cheech? 336 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,424 [Screams] 337 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,774 I could ask you the same thing. 338 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,341 Toby, I can explain. 339 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,995 No need, Jimmy. 340 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,779 You're under a lot of strain 341 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,955 coping with your feelings toward your uncle. 342 00:13:02,955 --> 00:13:05,828 Not to mention the ridiculous pressures at work. 343 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,220 Actually, work's pretty easy. 344 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,961 You're such a trooper! 345 00:13:08,961 --> 00:13:11,355 That's why you deserved that cake. 346 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,923 Toby, listen, Cheech is gonna rob your mother. 347 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,620 Too late, Jimmy. 348 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,622 He already stole her heart 349 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,754 and some change from the bedside table. 350 00:13:19,754 --> 00:13:21,321 But don't worry, 351 00:13:21,321 --> 00:13:23,106 we're going to get you the help you need. 352 00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:26,152 My name is Jimmy McDougal and-- 353 00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:28,807 Uh, Jimmy... 354 00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:33,856 My name is Jimmy McDougal and I am a peeping tom. 355 00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,992 Uh, that's my seat. 356 00:13:39,992 --> 00:13:42,821 Finally, some action around here. 357 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,432 But I can sit somewhere else if you're already eating. 358 00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:46,956 You are, aren't you? 359 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,566 Sorry. I'll just go-- 360 00:13:51,177 --> 00:13:54,528 [Prisoners yelling] 361 00:13:54,528 --> 00:13:56,269 Lord Stanley's Cup! 362 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,141 We've never had a riot before! 363 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,623 Gina, hit the floor! I will come and get you! 364 00:14:02,623 --> 00:14:04,103 Don't bother! 365 00:14:04,103 --> 00:14:05,888 I'm just startin' to have fun! 366 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,628 But you're in danger! 367 00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:09,195 Ha! McCool... 368 00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:11,284 ...I am the danger! 369 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,286 [Screams] 370 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,382 [indistinct voices]Alright Cheech... 371 00:14:22,382 --> 00:14:24,776 ...how ya gonna steal the goose 372 00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,909 if it's already stole? 373 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,736 Stolden? 374 00:14:28,736 --> 00:14:30,651 Dammit, what's the word I'm lookin' for? 375 00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:32,436 Ah Jimmy? 376 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:35,091 Are you spying on Cheech and my mother again? 377 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,789 What? No, not at all! 378 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,226 Um, I think maybe you need another session 379 00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:42,228 at Peeping Toms Anonymous. 380 00:14:42,228 --> 00:14:43,795 Ya got it all wrong. 381 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,189 I'm just tryin' to stop Cheech from robbin' your mother. 382 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,364 Look, lemme show ya. 383 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,932 God no! I don't wanna see it. 384 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,411 Aw crap it's stuck... 385 00:14:51,411 --> 00:14:53,370 Jimmy, please, don't show it to me. 386 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,328 It's very inappropriate! 387 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,243 C'mon baby. C'mon. 388 00:14:57,243 --> 00:14:58,592 Here it comes. 389 00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:00,551 Right there. Right there. 390 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,248 For the love of God, Jimmy, 391 00:15:02,248 --> 00:15:04,947 stop masturbating in front of me! 392 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:06,687 Right there! 393 00:15:06,687 --> 00:15:08,515 [Screams] 394 00:15:08,515 --> 00:15:09,864 [Offscreen farts] 395 00:15:09,864 --> 00:15:11,214 CHEECH: Peking Duck!GRETA: Nailed it! 396 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,654 Why are we havin' a stapler safety meeting? 397 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,264 It sounds made up and stupid. 398 00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:19,570 You know what they say. 399 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,006 An ounce of prevention 400 00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:23,182 is worth point-four kiligrams of cure. 401 00:15:23,182 --> 00:15:25,141 Oh I can't lie to you, Jimmy. 402 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,012 But you're going to thank me after this. 403 00:15:27,012 --> 00:15:28,231 After what? 404 00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:31,103 TOBY: Your intervention! 405 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:33,410 Aw, Jesus Christ... 406 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,847 These people are here because they love you. 407 00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,283 Except my Mom. 408 00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:38,676 She's here because her finger's stuck 409 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,069 in Cheech's zipper. 410 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,071 I was giving him a diddle! 411 00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:43,724 Everyone has written a letter 412 00:15:43,724 --> 00:15:45,900 about how your problem has affected them. 413 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,120 All we ask is that you hear us out. 414 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,426 Yeah, c'mon, Jimmy. 415 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,993 You're tearin' this family apart or somethin'. 416 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,733 Don't you start with me, Cheech. 417 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,344 Will you listen to what the people 418 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,650 who love you have to say, Jimmy? 419 00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:58,522 You bet your ass he will. 420 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,306 Wait a sec, where's Gina? 421 00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:01,699 McCool took her to prison. 422 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,048 That's about the only thing 423 00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:04,223 that makes any sense right now. 424 00:16:04,223 --> 00:16:06,878 Alright, Cookie, you're first. 425 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,010 [Sighs] 426 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,403 Sorry, this is hard for me. 427 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,971 Dear Jimmy... 428 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,799 Ya owe me a dinner. 429 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,192 Love, Cook. 430 00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,932 That was beautiful. 431 00:16:17,932 --> 00:16:19,891 Sometimes we have to listen 432 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,067 to what isn't being said, Jimmy. 433 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:24,113 Can I listen from the bar down the street? 434 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,202 Okay. Who's next? 435 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,205 Dear Jimmy, ya know when you gotta whiz at night 436 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,511 but ya don't wanna turn the lights on 437 00:16:31,511 --> 00:16:32,556 'cause it hurts your eyes? 438 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:35,124 Well what if ya put lights 439 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,777 around the toilet seat so-- 440 00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,692 Cheech, what the hell are ya doin'? 441 00:16:38,692 --> 00:16:40,912 Readin' my invention letter. 442 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,654 Okay... Theresa? 443 00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,265 I didn't know we were reading these out loud. 444 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:49,094 Be brave, this is a safe place. 445 00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:51,705 Sad face. Angry face. 446 00:16:51,705 --> 00:16:54,317 Thumbs down. Dark clouds. 447 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,797 Japanese Goblin-- 448 00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:58,669 What are you talkin' about? 449 00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,627 I wrote my letter in emojis. 450 00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:03,065 That is so dumb face. 451 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,893 Dear Father, this is the hardest thing 452 00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:07,721 I've ever had to write. 453 00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:09,984 You are more important to me than-- 454 00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:11,290 Boring! 455 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:12,683 [Farts] 456 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,554 Ya make me wanna be a better man, you know that? 457 00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:17,427 Alright, that is it! 458 00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,603 But I'm not finished my--Petey I'm talkin' here! 459 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,171 You wanna know what my problem is? 460 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,521 I'll tell ya - the only reason Cheech 461 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:27,089 is goin' out with Greta is so he can steal her Goose. 462 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,003 Don't you mean 'gobble her goose'? 463 00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:31,615 Ew, I just pictured it! 464 00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,660 It's the Gibraltar Goose! 465 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,576 It's this famous old statue that's worth a lotta money. 466 00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:38,535 Ain't that right, Cheech? 467 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,667 You have always been my rock-- 468 00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,147 Jimmy, you of all people should know 469 00:17:42,147 --> 00:17:43,627 how hard I've tried, 470 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,281 how long I've searched for the one thing 471 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,021 that has deluded me all these years... 472 00:17:47,021 --> 00:17:48,980 See? He's after the Goose! 473 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,460 I'm after love! 474 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,070 And now that I finally got it, 475 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,767 ya wanna take it away from me. 476 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:56,466 My port in the storm, but now... 477 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,860 I think you owe Uncle Cheech an apology. 478 00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,341 I got Cheech's apology right here. 479 00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,864 I'm not the one with a problem. 480 00:18:03,864 --> 00:18:06,215 It's you people! You're all crazy. 481 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:09,174 Call me when you're havin' a real stapler safety meeting! 482 00:18:09,174 --> 00:18:11,959 Ever since I was a little boy, I longed for-- 483 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:15,528 I think that went well, don't you Uncle Cheech? 484 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,051 Have we met? 485 00:18:17,051 --> 00:18:18,879 [Laughs] 486 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,711 Canadian prisons are the kindest in the world! 487 00:18:24,711 --> 00:18:26,931 Why are they doing this? 488 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:29,716 Stop rioting this instant! 489 00:18:29,716 --> 00:18:31,153 MAN: Screw you! 490 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:32,893 Someone's comin' out with demands! 491 00:18:32,893 --> 00:18:36,027 I say this at the risk of being unsportsmanlike, 492 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,116 but as soon as the bastard shows himself, 493 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,248 make an example of him. 494 00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:43,339 Cancel that order! Stand down! Stand down! 495 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:46,168 Gilbert, lower the shotgun! 496 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,735 Gina! Thank goodness you're alright. 497 00:18:48,735 --> 00:18:50,346 Those cowards! 498 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,304 Sending a child to do their dirty work! 499 00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:54,437 Ya wanna hear the demands or what? 500 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,613 Yes, but first let's get you to safety! 501 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,049 Never mind that! 502 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:00,051 There's only one demand, McCool. 503 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:03,359 Don't ever try to scare me straight again. 504 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,056 That's why they're rioting? 505 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,145 Yeah, they do whatever I tell 'em. 506 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,755 Now do we got a deal or what? 507 00:19:08,755 --> 00:19:10,017 Yes, fine, but how-- 508 00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:11,497 [Whistles] 509 00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:14,152 Alright jagoffs, back to your cells! 510 00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:19,505 No one mentions this at the staff meeting, understood? 511 00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:20,854 I'm looking at you, Gilbert! 512 00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:34,868 A-ha! 513 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:36,435 Whoa! A-ha! 514 00:19:36,435 --> 00:19:38,089 A-ha! 515 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,482 A-ha! 516 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:42,789 You're adrift in a sea of sorrow and I want to-- 517 00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:44,138 What's going on here? 518 00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:45,749 Oh c'mon! 519 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,881 See? I caught him red-handed. 520 00:19:47,881 --> 00:19:49,927 Cheech is trying to steal the goose. 521 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,408 In fact they all are! 522 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,149 If I wasn't so damn mad, I'd be pretty proud right now. 523 00:19:55,149 --> 00:19:56,542 For the last time 524 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:58,196 I ain't here to steal no goose! 525 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,459 I'm here for love. 526 00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:04,115 Greta... I wanna say 'Smith'? 527 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:07,292 Will you make me the happiest man in Vagina 528 00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:09,512 and become my wife? 529 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,905 Oh, Cheech. Yes. 530 00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:14,517 I can't wait for you, me, 531 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:17,389 and Toby to start our new life together. 532 00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:18,608 Who's Toby? 533 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:21,219 I'm Toby! Me! Me! 534 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,395 How can you not know that by now? 535 00:20:23,395 --> 00:20:25,789 I co-signed your small business loan! 536 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,704 I gave you a bath! 537 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,836 I helped you design the toilet light! 538 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,361 Oh. Nice to meet'cha. 539 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:35,494 I am Toby! Nice to meet you! 540 00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:37,540 I'm Toby! Toby! 541 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,716 Got that? My name is Toby! 542 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:43,023 T-O-B-Y Toby! 543 00:20:43,023 --> 00:20:45,112 H-E-double hockey sticks! 544 00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:48,115 Why doesn't he get it! 545 00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:49,813 You never mentioned you had a kid! 546 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:52,206 I was young, I needed money. 547 00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:55,514 But no one would buy the baby off me-- 548 00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:57,342 Yo, back off, 549 00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:59,823 I can't be in a relationship without trust. 550 00:21:04,131 --> 00:21:05,742 I don't suppose you learned anything 551 00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:07,396 from this experience? 552 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:09,398 Just how to turn a toothbrush into a knife 553 00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,443 and make a bomb outta coffee creamers. 554 00:21:11,443 --> 00:21:13,967 What am I going to do with you, Gina? 555 00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,926 I dunno, but after this debacle, 556 00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:18,145 I'm gonna have your badge. 557 00:21:18,145 --> 00:21:20,017 Because I placed you, a minor, 558 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,845 inside a prison among hardened criminals 559 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,150 and a riot broke out? 560 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:24,587 No. 561 00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,502 'Coz I lifted it just now while you were yakkin'. 562 00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:29,722 That's your cue to hop on your horse 563 00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,420 and yell something stupid, hot shot. 564 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:32,508 [Sighs] 565 00:21:34,248 --> 00:21:35,946 What's this for? 566 00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:37,643 I brung ya a cake. 567 00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:39,645 I gotta have a reason? Look inside. 568 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:42,822 I knew it! 569 00:21:42,822 --> 00:21:44,389 You were gonna steal it the whole time! 570 00:21:44,389 --> 00:21:45,651 Not at all. 571 00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:47,349 But that bitch lied to me. 572 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,176 Ya lie to me, I steal your goose. 573 00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:50,352 General principles. 574 00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,005 So? What's it worth? 575 00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:53,529 Nothin'. 576 00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:55,052 It's a Chinese knockoff. 577 00:21:55,052 --> 00:21:56,662 Hi Cheech. Ow! 578 00:21:56,662 --> 00:21:59,448 It's... Tracey, right?