1
00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,829
Greetings,
friends and potential bullies.

2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:06,266
Before Pop bravely
tattled on the mob,

3
00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:08,790
there was a time when
he had to go

4
00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:12,316
what Wisefellas and Goodguys
refer to as "straight."

5
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,406
[Crying]

6
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,147
Why ya cryin?'

7
00:00:17,147 --> 00:00:19,932
I just got this hard-ass
parole officer who's...

8
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,629
[Sob]

9
00:00:21,629 --> 00:00:23,588
...makin' me get a regular job!

10
00:00:24,632 --> 00:00:25,894
[Gasp]

11
00:00:25,894 --> 00:00:27,983
That's for getting pinched
in the first place!

12
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,639
PETEY: Once Pop's
shattered testes healed,

13
00:00:31,639 --> 00:00:34,033
he was well on his way
to rehabilitation.

14
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,556
Gimme two abortions
in a basket,

15
00:00:35,556 --> 00:00:37,123
double-tap 'em bloody,
rye toast.

16
00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:38,820
Comin' right up!

17
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:40,996
First National's got
a payroll comin' in.

18
00:00:40,996 --> 00:00:42,563
You know what to do.

19
00:00:42,563 --> 00:00:44,261
[Inaudible whisper]

20
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,873
I'm confused, Pop.

21
00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,657
I understand why
YOU work here,

22
00:00:49,657 --> 00:00:51,268
but why does Cheech?

23
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,226
The guy likes eggs.
Whaddaya want from me?

24
00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:56,011
Okay, but Uncle Aldo
also works here,

25
00:00:56,011 --> 00:00:58,362
and Uncle Sammy,
Tutti Marcone...

26
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,625
And isn't that Don Gambini
delivering milk?

27
00:01:01,843 --> 00:01:04,759
[Whispering]
Petey, shut up!

28
00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:06,761
If I didn't know better,

29
00:01:06,761 --> 00:01:08,937
I'd think you were still
running your organization

30
00:01:08,937 --> 00:01:11,636
under the very nose of
the New York parole system.

31
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,508
[Gulp]

32
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,206
Kid, I'm on
the straight and narrow.

33
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,686
Just trust me,
will'ya?

34
00:01:18,686 --> 00:01:20,949
You once said
that "trust me"

35
00:01:20,949 --> 00:01:23,648
was gangster talk
for "[bleep] you!"

36
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:26,259
[Sigh]
If my suspicions prove true,

37
00:01:26,259 --> 00:01:28,261
I will be very
disappointed, Pop -

38
00:01:28,261 --> 00:01:29,654
very disappointed!

39
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,962
Thanks for waitin'
'til my kid left.

40
00:01:33,962 --> 00:01:37,096
Alright, hands up!
This is a bust!

41
00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:39,925
I had to do another 18 months
'cause of your big mouth!

42
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,796
Now that we
live in Regina,

43
00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:44,147
Pop works a legitimate
job every day,

44
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,410
and I've never been
prouder of him...

45
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,933
[Gasp]

46
00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:51,458
That's for bein' a rat -
which reminds me...

47
00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:52,764
[Gasp]

48
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:55,462
If you think I'm ever gonna
forgive you for that,

49
00:01:55,462 --> 00:01:58,030
fugget about it! ♪ Fugget about it!

50
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,772
♪ Fugget about it!
Oh, fugget about it! ♪

51
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,864
Petey, I know what's
goin' on in there,

52
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,300
and it sure ain't clean!

53
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:11,391
Your son's in there pile-drivin'
his crotch into a coma!

54
00:02:11,391 --> 00:02:13,045
Bust the door down!

55
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,525
Why would you wanna SEE that?

56
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:18,442
Oh my God!
Pull him up!

57
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,139
He musta fainted from shame.

58
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:23,708
[Cough]
What the hell?!

59
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,014
Between you and me,
Jerk Cousteau,

60
00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:28,016
that is NOT
how ya masturbate.

61
00:02:29,496 --> 00:02:31,890
So what the heck is
an "OceanLab Six?"

62
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,935
It's a three-month
undersea education program

63
00:02:33,935 --> 00:02:35,546
I was accepted to...

64
00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:38,201
but it's prohibitively
expensive.

65
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,942
I was under water so
no one would see my tears.

66
00:02:40,942 --> 00:02:42,727
When it comes to my kids,

67
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,251
there's no such thing as
prohibitionally expensive.

68
00:02:45,251 --> 00:02:46,861
How much we talkin?'

69
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:49,647
Whoa, yeah,
that ain't happenin'.

70
00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,563
I've never had to say this
in my life, but...

71
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,391
I can't afford that.

72
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,481
Nice goin'!

73
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,483
Now your father's drowning
his sorrows in hot sauce,

74
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:00,919
ya selfish little prick.

75
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,573
Leave him alone.

76
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,531
It's not his fault
I'm a work-a-day schmuck

77
00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:06,316
who can't afford
underwater nerd school.

78
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,450
[Gasping, panting]

79
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:13,758
On top of that,
I went and ruined my breakfast!

80
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,760
I can help with
one of them problems.

81
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,589
I used to make this
for Don Gambini.

82
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:21,287
The man was
a notorious over-spicer.

83
00:03:21,287 --> 00:03:23,724
He'd cover his cannelloni
in pepper flakes,

84
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:26,292
then he'd piss and moan
about how hot it was.

85
00:03:26,292 --> 00:03:28,294
And when he pissed and moaned,

86
00:03:28,294 --> 00:03:30,253
chefs lost their thumbs.

87
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,080
[Gulp]

88
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,865
Holy crap,
these taste like eggs again!

89
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,562
The spice is gone!

90
00:03:35,562 --> 00:03:37,521
Like I said behind
the Don's back -

91
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,740
"You're welcome,
ya whiny bitch."

92
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,481
I think ya got
the solution to

93
00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:43,309
your money problem
right there!

94
00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:44,745
Cookie's right!

95
00:03:44,745 --> 00:03:47,922
We could use this to extort
every Indian restaurant in town!

96
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:49,707
"Pay up or
the Vindaloo gets it!"

97
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,491
Haven't you idiots
figured out there's

98
00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:53,058
legal ways
to make a buck?

99
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:59,151
'Course not.
Luckily, I have.

100
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,849
Now, let's go take
the spice outta life!

101
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,505
I thought your family
could afford OceanLab.

102
00:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,507
Theresa's always
got so much

103
00:04:07,507 --> 00:04:09,727
expensive clothes
and jewellery.

104
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,468
She gets those from men

105
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,644
I'm not supposed to
tell my parents about.

106
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,515
My family's taking me
camping this weekend

107
00:04:15,515 --> 00:04:17,125
to cheer me up.

108
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:20,128
Hey, do you
wanna come along?

109
00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:22,479
Maybe we could
comfort each other

110
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:25,177
in our time of mutual
disappointment?

111
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,527
I literally have no
experience in this area,

112
00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,573
so I'm just gonna ask -

113
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,792
Are you coming on to me?

114
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,925
No, silly!

115
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:36,144
Why would
I do that?

116
00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,103
What are you even
talking abou-

117
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,800
Yes!

118
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,976
Well then,
I'd love to go camping.

119
00:04:41,976 --> 00:04:45,328
In fact, I've already
pitched my tent...

120
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:48,461
[Applause]

121
00:04:48,461 --> 00:04:50,855
ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to "Scorpion's Hive,"

122
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:52,509
the publicly-funded show

123
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,424
that provides
investment opportunities

124
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,121
for private venture
capitalists!

125
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,776
[Crowd cheering]

126
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,691
Has this ever
happened to you?

127
00:05:01,822 --> 00:05:03,694
[Sniff]
Oh no!

128
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,260
I over-spiced my food.

129
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,740
It's burning a hole
in my tongue!

130
00:05:08,176 --> 00:05:11,005
Jimmy?
You're supposed to be at work!

131
00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:13,138
Agnes, get back to
the office, quick!

132
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,531
What if someone needs a map?

133
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,010
Hey, lady,

134
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:19,057
them spices hot enough
for youse?

135
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:22,060
♪ [Old-school hip hop beat]

136
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,844
[Rapping]
My name is Neutralizer,

137
00:05:23,844 --> 00:05:25,629
and I'm here to say

138
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:28,283
I'm gonna take all the spice
from your spices away!

139
00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:30,938
Spice it, yeah!
Spice it down!

140
00:05:30,938 --> 00:05:33,419
Oh God,
stop it!

141
00:05:33,419 --> 00:05:34,899
Ming's right!

142
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:38,293
Just tell us about the product
so we can rip ya a new one!

143
00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:40,078
It's Spice Neutralizer.

144
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,123
Ya sprinkle it on
overly-spicy food

145
00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:44,909
and it kills the heat -
but not the taste.

146
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,563
Who's your target market?

147
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,216
Mangia-Cake
white people

148
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:50,001
who can't handle
a little 'peppah.'

149
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,742
What are your
sales figures?

150
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:54,484
Hey, wasn't I
married to you once?

151
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,486
You look terrible,
Cheech.

152
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:57,530
Ugh!

153
00:05:57,530 --> 00:06:00,707
Glad I walked out on you.
You bad man!

154
00:06:00,707 --> 00:06:02,187
What's your
business plan?

155
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,145
To make a crap-ton of money

156
00:06:04,145 --> 00:06:06,017
and send my kid to space.

157
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,367
I import
knock-off yoga pants,

158
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:10,456
Belgian video games,
and spices.

159
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,980
I'm out.
Bad idea!

160
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,592
As an Irish-Canadian,

161
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,420
I wasn't even aware
food could be spicy.

162
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,899
I'm out.

163
00:06:18,899 --> 00:06:20,901
[Audience gasps]I like this idea,

164
00:06:20,901 --> 00:06:22,903
but I don't want to
invest in it.

165
00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:24,775
I'd prefer to
license it from you.

166
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,125
What's that mean?It means I do
all the work,

167
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,344
assume all the risk,
pay you a half the profits,

168
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:30,998
and you do...
nothing.

169
00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:33,348
You've always wanted
to do nothin', Jimmy!

170
00:06:33,348 --> 00:06:35,481
Hold out for
less than nothin'.

171
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,879
Are you serious, Pop?
You got the money?!

172
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,969
Yep, looks like you are gonna be
sleepin' with the fishes!

173
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,319
I know you didn't mean
that the usual way,

174
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,495
but I still peed
my pants a little.

175
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,280
What am I gonna
tell Anna?

176
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,978
She invited me
camping so we could

177
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,980
forget our OceanLab
disappointment.

178
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,982
Could ya just enjoy
somethin' for once?

179
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,636
What she don't know
won't hurt her.

180
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,159
Howdy, sir!

181
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,900
I'm Ron,
Anna's Dad.

182
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,510
This is my wife,
Bathsheba.

183
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:06,294
I hope you're up
for a rollicking,

184
00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:07,948
kick-in-the-pants
adventure

185
00:07:07,948 --> 00:07:10,168
in the wilds of
Saskatchewan, Petey!

186
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,909
And don't worry,

187
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,302
I'll see there's no hanky
or panky between these kids.

188
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:16,043
We'll keep things
as chaste and pure

189
00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:17,349
as our Lord Jesus.

190
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:18,959
I'd say "have fun,"

191
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,831
but that's clearly
off the table.

192
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,747
Bathsheba, stop staring
at the man like a harlot.

193
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,749
Okay, let's hit the road!

194
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,273
Thanks for coming,
Petey.

195
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,928
I need at least eight inches
between you two back here.

196
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,712
Move your keister over, son.

197
00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:34,497
Let's pass the time
with music!

198
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,674
♪ Oh, we're going
to the mansion ♪

199
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,502
♪ on the happy day express

200
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,504
♪ And the letters
on the engine ♪

201
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,418
♪ are J-E-S-U-S!

202
00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:44,550
[Laugh]

203
00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:50,600
Whaddaya mean ya lost
the Spice Neutralizer recipe?

204
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,776
Wheatthin's gonna
be here any minute!

205
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,299
Just write it
down again.

206
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,170
I would,
but I can't remember it.

207
00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:58,564
I only got so much
room up here.

208
00:07:58,564 --> 00:08:00,435
I can't re-memberize
a whole recipe

209
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:02,220
AND the names of
all the Hobbits.

210
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,830
[Doorbell]

211
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:05,528
Aw crap,
that's Wheatthin!

212
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,138
Maybe it's in my
other pants.

213
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:09,270
You don't have
other pants.

214
00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:12,447
Okay, okay, I'll scratch
"other pants" off the list.

215
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,799
That is a lotta
zeroes!

216
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,583
Let's count
them again.

217
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:19,585
One...

218
00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:21,413
Two...

219
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,067
If I didn't know better,

220
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,243
I'd think you were
stalling me for some reason.

221
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,071
He's onto us.
Forget it!

222
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,596
Okay, look -
Cheech lost the formula.

223
00:08:30,596 --> 00:08:32,772
We'll find it.
We just need time.

224
00:08:32,772 --> 00:08:34,513
But I've already
bought factories

225
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:36,515
and hired
sweatshop workers.

226
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,343
Spice Neutralizer
launches next week.

227
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,301
I'm having several
Spice Girls neutralized

228
00:08:40,301 --> 00:08:41,694
to mark the occasion.

229
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:44,784
Touch Ginger
and I'll cut ya!

230
00:08:44,784 --> 00:08:46,873
You have 'til Monday
to produce that formula.

231
00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:49,310
Otherwise I'll have to sue you
for misrepresentation.

232
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,051
Sorry, Jimmy,
it's nothing personal,

233
00:08:51,051 --> 00:08:52,792
just business.

234
00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,925
You can't say that!
That's my people's saying!

235
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,103
How does he
do that?!

236
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:05,065
Cheech, if ya don't
remember that formula,

237
00:09:05,065 --> 00:09:07,459
Wheatthin's gonna take us
for everything we got.

238
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,592
I got this, Jimmy.
Trust me!

239
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,898
Do you mean trust me-trust me,
or [bleep] you-trust me?

240
00:09:11,898 --> 00:09:13,421
The nice one.

241
00:09:13,421 --> 00:09:15,206
Cheech didn't lose it.

242
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,164
Someone stole it!

243
00:09:17,164 --> 00:09:19,993
And I bet it was that Ming
broad from "Scorpion's Hive."

244
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,474
That's classy.
Blame the Asian!

245
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,650
It's got nothing to
do with bein' Asian -

246
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:27,610
and everything to do with
bein' Cheech's ex-wife!

247
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,655
How much more
motive does she need?

248
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,179
She's right.
You know what they say -

249
00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:35,269
"Hell hath no flurry
like a woman's corns."

250
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,144
Are we still in Canada?

251
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,799
I don't see this campground
anywhere on the map.

252
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,191
If you're not on the map,

253
00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:46,585
the government can't find you
and forcibly re-educate you

254
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:47,934
with the lies of
the Antichrist.

255
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,633
I see...

256
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,722
I'm just going to
retire to my tent

257
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,375
for the rest of
the weekend.

258
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:55,986
Oh, we don't use tents.

259
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,683
We're sleeping in old
"Archie Bunker" here.

260
00:09:57,683 --> 00:09:59,293
Do me a favour, son.

261
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:00,730
Take that bag of
automatic weapons

262
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,296
from the roof rack inside.

263
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:04,777
You don't mind if
I call you "son," do ya?

264
00:10:04,777 --> 00:10:06,039
We're facing
Armageddon together.

265
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,432
That makes us family!

266
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:09,042
Uh, what?

267
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,565
I'll go set up
a perimeter.

268
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,611
Aw darn,
I forgot razor-wire!

269
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,700
Oh well, we'll have to
rely on prayers

270
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,920
and homemade frag mines
to keep Satan away.

271
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,879
Anna, I'm trying very hard
not to freak out,

272
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:22,273
but HAVE I BEEN
KIDNAPPED?!

273
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,579
Sorry,
every few months,

274
00:10:24,579 --> 00:10:27,713
Mom and Dad drag me out here
to wait for the End Times.

275
00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,020
I couldn't face
another Rapture fail

276
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,544
without someone
rational to talk to.

277
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,199
So you picked me?
Oh, that's just great...

278
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,809
Wait -

279
00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:39,769
You think
I'm rational?

280
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,510
That's the hottest thing
a girl's ever said to me!

281
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:44,687
Petey, you're
downright logical.

282
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,340
[Gasp]

283
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:48,212
And don't worry
about my family.

284
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,214
They're nutty,
but harmless.

285
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,520
Petey, the Bible says
it's an abomination

286
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,740
for a man to lie
with another man,

287
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,177
so you can't sleep with me
in the men's quarters.

288
00:10:57,177 --> 00:10:58,701
Thankfully
it says nothing

289
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,485
about black market
assault rifles!

290
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:03,357
[Chuckle] Anyway,
you'll be bunking with Anna.

291
00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:06,970
♪ What a friend
we have in ♪

292
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,537
♪ Jeeeesus!

293
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,586
Alright, me and
Jimmy'll muscle

294
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,414
that formula
away from Ming.

295
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:19,156
You gals go home and
synch up your cycles.

296
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:21,027
We're not sendin'
two goons in

297
00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:23,334
to intimidate
a small-boned lady!

298
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,162
It needs
a woman's touch.

299
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,859
Gimme the formula, toots,

300
00:11:26,859 --> 00:11:28,382
or I'll rip your
freakin' lips off!

301
00:11:28,382 --> 00:11:30,645
Jesus, Ma!

302
00:11:30,645 --> 00:11:33,344
What the hell big crazy
bitch talking about?

303
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:36,434
I'm talkin' Russian Roulette
with an automatic

304
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,741
unless you start singin'.

305
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,394
Hoh, Ma!

306
00:11:40,394 --> 00:11:42,222
Where the hell
ya been all my life?

307
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,923
The formula's gotta be stashed
around here someplace.

308
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:49,795
She comes from
a very crafty culture.

309
00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:51,710
Isn't that a little
racist, Cheech?

310
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,407
Talk to me when
you've spent

311
00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:55,453
three weeks in
a Chinese finger trap.

312
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,239
Oh God!

313
00:11:59,239 --> 00:12:00,806
That's strong!

314
00:12:00,806 --> 00:12:02,590
I feel like
I've been maced!

315
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,636
Nah, mace feels
worse than this.

316
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,812
See?[Scream]

317
00:12:06,812 --> 00:12:09,075
Dammit Cheech, what
the hell is wrong with you?!

318
00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:10,860
I'm tryin' to
illustrate a point!

319
00:12:11,991 --> 00:12:13,906
Ow!
Daddy!

320
00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:16,126
[Scream]
My eyes!

321
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:18,693
Still not as bad as mace,
but - [scream]

322
00:12:26,266 --> 00:12:28,355
Finish up those
K-rations, kids.

323
00:12:28,355 --> 00:12:31,315
They'll keep for 600 years,
but they do get stale.

324
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,838
How's that filtered
urine, Petey?

325
00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:38,191
[Laugh] Someone just volunteered
for first watch tonight!

326
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,498
Petey, if anyone
tries to get in,

327
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:43,240
shoot first and beg the Lord's
forgiveness later.

328
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,981
[Laugh]
That's a joke.

329
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,765
You won't need forgiveness
for slaughtering

330
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,202
whatever unholy
abomination comes knocking.

331
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,944
Whoops!
Forgot the urine filter!

332
00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:54,729
I know this isn't
what you expected, Petey,

333
00:12:54,729 --> 00:12:57,123
but once Mom and Dad
go to sleep,

334
00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:59,125
maybe we can...

335
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:00,953
...have a fumbling session

336
00:13:00,953 --> 00:13:03,695
of heavy "commiserating"
about OceanLab?

337
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,436
Very heavy...

338
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,917
and very fumbling.

339
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,441
Oh God,
you talk so sexy!

340
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,356
Oh, there's plenty more

341
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:14,575
inexperienced innuendo
where that came from.

342
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:19,406
RON: Oh no, you shot
the urine filter!

343
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:23,628
[All laughing]

344
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,152
I'm telling you,
O'Shea did it!

345
00:13:26,152 --> 00:13:28,546
That leprechaun
always whines about

346
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,765
not making enough money
from the TV show.

347
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:32,332
Alright,
thanks, Ming.

348
00:13:32,332 --> 00:13:34,421
Sorry I pointed
a gun at your head.

349
00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:37,555
Oh, that's nothing compared
to Canadian immigration.

350
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:39,992
[Double gasp]

351
00:13:39,992 --> 00:13:41,428
Theresa did it!

352
00:13:43,343 --> 00:13:45,041
That's just great!

353
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:48,000
Now she's suin' us, too.
Way to go, Cheech!

354
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,221
How is this
in any way my fault?

355
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,963
Goin' on that crazy TV show
was Cookie's idea.

356
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:56,356
Don't blame me,
ya sack o' [bleep]!

357
00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:58,358
Guys! Guys!
Calm down.

358
00:13:58,358 --> 00:14:00,621
We all know this
is Petey's fault.

359
00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:03,581
No, it's Ma and Pop's for havin'
a brainiac for a son.

360
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,323
Yeah, if he was a moron
like the rest of us,

361
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,759
this woulda never happened!

362
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,456
Aw, screw you guys!

363
00:14:09,456 --> 00:14:11,719
I'm gonna go talk
to O'Shea myself.

364
00:14:11,719 --> 00:14:14,897
Unlike you idiots,
I know how to get things done!

365
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,511
Yer supposed to blow up
the OTHER guy's car,

366
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,034
Mr. Get Things Done.

367
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,517
I'm tellin' ya,
McCool,

368
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,388
O'Shea's
behind this!

369
00:14:28,388 --> 00:14:31,261
Are you suggesting the Premier
is embroiled in some sort of

370
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,524
Spice Neutralizer conspiracy?

371
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,221
That's preposterous!

372
00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:37,049
So you're not
gonna help us?

373
00:14:37,049 --> 00:14:38,964
Au contraire, Jimmy.

374
00:14:38,964 --> 00:14:41,271
I'll see this through
to the end!

375
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:44,143
My first step -

376
00:14:44,143 --> 00:14:46,189
Spending nine hours
on hold with

377
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,365
your government-sponsored
insurance company.

378
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,497
For Canada,

379
00:14:50,497 --> 00:14:53,631
where no-fault liability means
everyone gets screwed equally!

380
00:14:56,895 --> 00:15:01,813
♪

381
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,077
The jig's up, O'Shea.

382
00:15:05,077 --> 00:15:07,688
We know about your problems
with "Scorpion's Hive."

383
00:15:07,688 --> 00:15:09,429
How'd ya find out?

384
00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:10,909
Let's just say...

385
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,302
Ming told us.

386
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,999
She knows?!

387
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,175
After she swore
I didn't talk in me sleep!

388
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:18,786
You slept with my wife?!

389
00:15:18,786 --> 00:15:21,311
Ah, we only cuddled...

390
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:22,921
...with me penis in her.

391
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,836
Sonofabitch!

392
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,969
Who gives a [bleep]?
You were married three days!

393
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,840
I've only had
this shirt three days.

394
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,364
I still don't want him
stickin' his dick in it.

395
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,975
Now give us what
we want, O'Shea.

396
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,068
[Both coughing and choking]

397
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,115
Security, get in here.

398
00:15:43,115 --> 00:15:45,117
I've got some trash
to take out.

399
00:15:48,903 --> 00:15:51,602
Oh, right.
I'll crack a window.

400
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:55,475
♪ [Ominous music]

401
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,131
There's something
I should tell you.

402
00:15:59,131 --> 00:16:00,959
My pop got enough
money together

403
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:02,395
to send me
to OceanLab.

404
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,701
[Gasp]

405
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,704
I thought we were
sharing our mutual sorrows,

406
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,533
but you were just practicing
holding your breath!

407
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,361
It's not like that,
Anna.

408
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,537
I just didn't know
how to tell you.

409
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,105
Dad warned me about
privileged rich boys

410
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,890
who try to take advantage
of innocent girls.

411
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,806
Try? No.
Did? Yes.

412
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,895
But I like you,
Anna...

413
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,159
[Alarm blaring]

414
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:29,509
Yay!
It's finally the Apocalypse!

415
00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:31,729
That, or it's a roving
band of Liberals

416
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,992
seeking to feast on our
Bibles and unborn babies.

417
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:36,603
Don't be afraid to
kill anyone, Petey.

418
00:16:36,603 --> 00:16:39,389
The Bible says it's okay,
more often than not.

419
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:42,087
Play the numbers, son.
Always play the numbers.

420
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:44,263
[Banging on door]

421
00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:45,786
You were right, Dad!

422
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,484
Oh Lord,

423
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:50,313
forgive me for tongue-
kissing this heretic!

424
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,967
[Bawling]

425
00:16:54,534 --> 00:16:55,970
Wake up!

426
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,584
[Groan] I thought I told
you girls to stay home.

427
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:02,934
Aren't ya glad we don't
listen to you very often?

428
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,936
[Phone vibrating]

429
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,546
Theresa followed O'Shea.

430
00:17:06,546 --> 00:17:08,287
He's meetin' with buyers!
C'mon!

431
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:12,813
Woo!

432
00:17:12,813 --> 00:17:15,120
One more stamp and
I get a free coffee!

433
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,948
Everythin's comin' up Cheech!

434
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,517
O'SHEA:
I'll have to see the money

435
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:22,388
before I can commit to anything,

436
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:24,347
ya cheap, sleazy bastards.

437
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:28,220
[Otherworldly sound]

438
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,222
Oh, that's where
my flashlight went.

439
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:33,530
JIMMY:
Not so fast, O'Shea.

440
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,751
You're too late,
ya jackasses!

441
00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:39,405
It's done.

442
00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:41,407
You can't sell
stolen property.

443
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:43,931
[Laugh] Oh God,
listen to me.

444
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:46,151
Yeah, right!
[Laugh]

445
00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:48,066
And violence never
solved anything!

446
00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:49,459
[Both laugh]

447
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,810
This is getting weird.
The deal's off.

448
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,988
Now look what ya did.
Ya blew me chances!

449
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,816
Screw you,
O'Shea!

450
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:01,166
That Spice Neutralizer
recipe belongs to us.

451
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:02,950
What the hell are
ya talkin' about,

452
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,865
ya giant bloody
festerin' tit?

453
00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,780
I was about to sign a deal

454
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:09,435
with a rival network
for me own investment show -

455
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:11,220
"Piranha Creek!"

456
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,178
I thought you was
tryin' to extort me.

457
00:18:13,178 --> 00:18:14,832
For what?

458
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,312
If "Scorpion's Hive"
found out about

459
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,227
"Piranha Creek"
before I jumped ship,

460
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:21,230
they'd gnaw the flesh off
the deal's meaty bones!

461
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,057
Wait, which one of youse
is the piranha?

462
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:25,147
It's Canadian television, Jimmy.

463
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,800
We all are.

464
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,454
Oh Christ,

465
00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:30,239
now I'm stuck on
that low-payin' show.

466
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,675
Hey, would ya look at that.

467
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:35,026
[Toby crying]

468
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,941
Lookit that indeed.

469
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:39,683
Tabby's mom is lookin'
pre-tay fine!

470
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,123
How do ya like that, Petey?

471
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:47,212
The Gupta Family here
was under the impression

472
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:48,953
the Age of Kali Yuga
was ending.

473
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,694
That's the Hindu apocalypse.

474
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,304
Between you and me,

475
00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:54,306
these kooks put the "mental"
in fundamental.

476
00:18:54,306 --> 00:18:57,701
Everyone knows the End of Times
is a Christian Armageddon!

477
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:00,094
Sorry about the gunshot wound,
Mr. Gupta.

478
00:19:00,094 --> 00:19:02,358
That's the thing with
time-share Apocalypse bunkers.

479
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,968
They're affordable,

480
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,013
but the scheduling's
a pain in the rump!

481
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:08,712
[Chuckle]
I'll go take down the perimeter.

482
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,844
I'm glad no one
stepped on a frag mine.

483
00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:13,064
That could've been very messy!
[Chuckle]

484
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,109
Lucky I'm good at
digging mass graves!

485
00:19:15,109 --> 00:19:17,024
Please God, tell me
that was a joke.

486
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:19,288
RON:
It won't be one day!

487
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:22,943
Anna, listen, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about OceanLab.

488
00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:26,425
And I'm sorry
I called you a heretic.

489
00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:28,949
So, will I see
you at school?No...

490
00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:30,821
Mom saw us making out,

491
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:33,606
and now she wants to send me
away until the baby comes.

492
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,391
What?!

493
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,828
I know, but guess where
they're sending me...

494
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,264
[Explosion]

495
00:19:40,526 --> 00:19:42,920
RON: I'm okay!
A mine went off!

496
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,270
Arm seems to be gone!

497
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:48,055
If I pass out before
we reach the hospital,

498
00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:50,797
be sure to refuse
a transfusion!

499
00:19:52,451 --> 00:19:54,540
[Weeping]

500
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,586
Goin' somewhere,
Toby?

501
00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:59,502
[Double gasp]
You've come for vengeance!

502
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,243
Make it quick!
Not the face!

503
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,896
Open casket!

504
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:04,768
Who's going to rub
Mother's feet?!

505
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,161
Calm down!
Pull yourself together!

506
00:20:07,161 --> 00:20:09,251
Thank you, Jimmy.
I deserved that...

507
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,731
And probably that, too.

508
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,474
Now you're just
doing it for fun!

509
00:20:15,474 --> 00:20:17,520
Stop it, Jimmy!
It's my turn.

510
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,477
Ow!

511
00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:21,001
You stole my formula,
didn't ya?!

512
00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:23,308
Yes...
At the TV studio.

513
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:28,270
I knew Jimmy would quit Regina
Tourism once he got rich.

514
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,967
[Sob]

515
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,882
I couldn't face work

516
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,406
without my best friend
in the whole wide world!

517
00:20:34,406 --> 00:20:37,496
[Sob]Who, me?

518
00:20:37,496 --> 00:20:40,847
But I had a change of heart
and left the recipe in your car.

519
00:20:40,847 --> 00:20:42,675
Mom insisted on coming with me.

520
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,155
[Glug]

521
00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:50,335
It was too late
to put out the fire,

522
00:20:50,335 --> 00:20:52,685
so I grabbed Mom, stopped,
dropped, and rolled her,

523
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,034
and we took off.

524
00:20:55,514 --> 00:20:58,212
But ya saved
the recipe, right?

525
00:20:58,212 --> 00:21:00,214
No, it went up
with your car.

526
00:21:00,214 --> 00:21:02,434
Ah, great.
I'm screwed!

527
00:21:02,434 --> 00:21:04,567
Thanks a lot,
ya stupid son of a bitch!

528
00:21:05,785 --> 00:21:07,526
Lucky it's easy
to remember -

529
00:21:07,526 --> 00:21:09,311
baking soda,
flour,

530
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,182
vanilla extract,
and...

531
00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:12,966
...a dash of cumin.

532
00:21:12,966 --> 00:21:15,491
I don't know why that was
so hard to remember, Cheech.

533
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,319
Oh yeah?
Go on, ask me -

534
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,755
Which one's
Frodo?

535
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,234
[Car horn]

536
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,760
I have your brand new SUV,

537
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,415
courtesy of Saskatchewan
Government Insurance!

538
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,938
[Crash]

539
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,592
Canada's Worst Driver!

540
00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:31,637
I must've
left it in gear!

541
00:21:31,637 --> 00:21:33,639
Put on a pot of
coffee, Cookie,

542
00:21:33,639 --> 00:21:35,554
I'm going
back on hold.

543
00:21:35,554 --> 00:21:37,774
Yo, Cook!
I got Petey on Skype!

544
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:39,558
I hate it here!

545
00:21:39,558 --> 00:21:41,734
I've been sea-sick
for three weeks!

546
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,041
Don't worry,
Mr. and Mrs. McDougal,

547
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,260
I'll take care of him.

548
00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:49,046
I hope you kids are bein' good
down there under the sea!

549
00:21:49,046 --> 00:21:51,440
Well, Mrs. McDougal...

550
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,355
I won't lie to you.

551
00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:57,750
Ah, gettin' screwed
in a submarine...

552
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,362
It's like he's
in the Navy for real!

553
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:03,495
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

554
00:22:03,495 --> 00:22:06,498
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

555
00:22:06,498 --> 00:22:09,675
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

556
00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:12,722
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

557
00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:15,681
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

558
00:22:15,681 --> 00:22:18,641
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

559
00:22:18,641 --> 00:22:21,600
♪ La la la la la
la la la la la ♪

560
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,603
♪ La la la la la
Saskatchewan! ♪

561
00:22:24,603 --> 00:22:27,301
♪ La la la la
la la la la ♪

562
00:22:27,301 --> 00:22:30,087
♪ La la la la
la la la la! ♪