1
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,189
<i>An admissions officer
must have a strong constitution</i>

2
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,607
<i>to be on the receiving end</i>

3
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,527
<i>of an entire nation's application panic,</i>

4
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,946
<i>to endure the frustration and anger</i>

5
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,615
<i>of all the so-called millennial parents</i>

6
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:33,908
<i>who just realized...</i>

7
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,076
Come on, hurry up!

8
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,202
God, Mom, relax.

9
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,621
<i>There isn't room
for every perfectly nurtured,</i>

10
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,749
<i>organically fed, well-tutored offspring.</i>

11
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:42,792
Okay, I'm your tour guide.

12
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,502
There's no point trying to impress me.

13
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,464
I have absolutely
no power over your fate here.

14
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,883
The people with the power are right in there.

15
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,259
The admissions officers.

16
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,013
And, no, that sign is not an omen.

17
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:59,184
Except for some of you.
Almost all of you, actually.

18
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:04,064
We had 26,241 applications last year,

19
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,816
1,308 of those applicants

20
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,360
are attending school here.

21
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:19,037
James, tours leave at 9:15. It's 9:25.

22
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,582
Sorry. I thought I'd wait.
We had a, uh, late arrival.

23
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:25,293
I'm sorry. Our GPS lied.

24
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:30,340
No worries, Mrs. Lafont.

25
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,218
Welcome to Princeton.

26
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,846
So what's the secret to getting in?

27
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,390
The secret...

28
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,145
Just be yourself.

29
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,106
If this is the right place for you,

30
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,233
then this is where you'll end up.

31
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:50,777
James?

32
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,238
Okay, let's go see Princeton!
We're going to play a fun game.

33
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,365
It's called "Spot the Nobel Prize Winner."

34
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,410
<i>What's the secret to getting in?
There has to be one, right?</i>

35
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,871
<i>Well, there is, but I can't tell you. Not yet.</i>

36
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,624
<i>What I can tell you
is everyone thinks we're sadists.</i>

37
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,711
<i>That we like saying no. This is not true.</i>

38
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,295
<i>- No.</i>
- Portia.

39
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,380
<i>No. No. No.</i>

40
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,882
You're second reader
on my territory this season.

41
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,052
Yes, I know. As are you. On mine.
That's the way it works.

42
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:22,892
Oh, I'll just wait until you catch up. With me.

43
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,981
<i>We are in this job for one reason.</i>

44
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,149
- Hello?
<i>- Is this Portia Nathan?</i>

45
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,483
<i>- To say...</i>
- Yes?

46
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,693
Wow, I didn't think I'd get you.

47
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,153
It's John Pressman

48
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,405
from The New Quest School
in Keene, New Hampshire.

49
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,573
Um, okay.

50
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,325
Yeah. I sent you a few e-mails,
and left a couple of messages.

51
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,410
Listen, thank you for calling.

52
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,828
Can you please e-mail me your information

53
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:42,954
and I will call you back?

54
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:43,997
Hey, not so rough. How'd you like

55
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,331
to have your udder yanked like that?

56
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,416
Excuse me?

57
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,876
- Sorry, I was just talking to a student.
- Uh.

58
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,295
People! Everyone, please.

59
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,256
I have a couple of announcements.

60
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,008
There is an announcement.

61
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,760
Portia, we're a new developmental school,

62
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,012
and we have
our first graduating class this year.

63
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,514
I know you're gonna be making
your school visits in the next few weeks.

64
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,391
<i>I'd like for you to visit our campus.</i>

65
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,269
<i>Our kids would gain a lot from it,
and I think you would, too.</i>

66
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,146
Right, I will look into it. I got to go.

67
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,898
I went to Dartmouth, same time as you...

68
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,858
Bye. Thank you for calling.

69
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:16,571
So, we're breaking records
in application numbers, naturally,

70
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:20,158
because we've been number one for so long.

71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,369
Number one until today.

72
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,206
Princeton has just fallen to number two.

73
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,046
What this means
is that we all have to work harder than ever.

74
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,923
Because I want to go out on top.

75
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,384
Yes, you see, the rumors are true.

76
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,636
I have decided to retire

77
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:44,140
and pass the baton to a worthy successor.

78
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,684
I'm spending an extra four days

79
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,143
in the Andover Hotchkiss triangle.

80
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,478
And I've added five full days

81
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,772
to the San Francisco Bay Area
in Northern California.

82
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:53,066
And I've added a number of new schools.

83
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:56,569
In fact, I was just talking
to the co-founder of Quest,

84
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,614
a developmental high school
with their first year of college applicants.

85
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,491
Clarence, we're going to be back on top.

86
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,952
We're going to make that happen
by working together.

87
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,453
Right, Portia?

88
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,914
Absolutely.

89
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,667
As a mother myself,
I know the importance of teamwork.

90
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,419
And I'm not a mother,

91
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,254
but I know the importance of it, too.

92
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,922
Can't go it alone.

93
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:18,883
Good.

94
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,595
Because you two are my superstars.

95
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,639
And nothing would make me happier

96
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:29,102
than if one of you
were to have this office next year.

97
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,282
Okay.

98
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,492
Class of 2016.

99
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,707
Pediatric surgery
best combines my love of children,

100
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,958
of science,

101
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:54,711
and my desire to give back to my community.

102
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,172
Yes, but you didn't
challenge yourself academically.

103
00:04:57,255 --> 00:05:00,675
B's in physics and you didn't take AP Chem.

104
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:05,805
Princeton's awesome.

105
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:10,101
Since 1841, every male in my family
has attended the place.

106
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,190
Student body president
and gymnastics national champion.

107
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:19,277
Educated family. Privileged upbringing.
Unfair advantage?

108
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,906
Twenty-four hundred on the SAT. 4.5 GPA.

109
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,492
And my poetry,
written in my mother's psych ward,

110
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,826
will be published by Knopf.

111
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,745
And my father is Cuban.

112
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,413
And in a wheelchair.

113
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,585
Hey, can I get some advice?

114
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,213
No. Applicatus interruptus.
You know the rule.

115
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,256
Never start a folder if you can't finish it.

116
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,511
I have to start over anyway. Okay.

117
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,931
This kid from Alaska, Aput Kunayak. Uh...

118
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,475
High grades, but low scores.

119
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,853
President of 10 clubs,
but that might be because of his ADD.

120
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,356
We want to accept people
who will succeed here.

121
00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,485
I once fought for a bipolar Inuit girl,
and she lasted 19 days.

122
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,233
Do you think he might fail?

123
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,030
Maybe. I like him.

124
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,785
It's so hard.

125
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,704
You can't take it so personally.

126
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,707
You have to toughen up
or you won't last here either.

127
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,709
Now outsies. I'm swamped.

128
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,586
Portia?

129
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:19,963
I hope it's you.

130
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,506
Thank you.

131
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:23,633
Back to work.

132
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,772
Portia?

133
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,107
Hello?

134
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,608
Portia? Portia. Portia.

135
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,236
I'm so sorry. I've got an emergency.

136
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,739
Can you just watch the kids
while I run to the vet?

137
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,574
Because Richard's at his Faulkner seminar.

138
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,785
Me? Mark should have been home
20 minutes ago.

139
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,746
And it's our poetry night.

140
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,915
And, really, I'm the last person
you want watching your kids.

141
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,089
Quiet.

142
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,133
Did someone die?

143
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,802
Rachael's dog's sick. She begged me.

144
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,846
Good times.

145
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,184
I've got essays to grade.

146
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,774
Oh, it's okay.

147
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,109
Aw, it's okay. Mommy's here.

148
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,444
What did you do to them?

149
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,946
Rachael, you know
Portia's not good with kids.

150
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,114
It's not her fault.

151
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,618
Kids just don't take to some people.

152
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,828
I don't know what you were thinking.

153
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,373
Sorry, he's right.

154
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,750
They're like pit bulls. They can smell fear.

155
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,377
Good night.

156
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,544
Take them all.

157
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:47,217
"A man may do no synne with his wyf,."

158
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,011
"Ne hurte hymselven with his owene knyf."

159
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,721
You know, if I get Clarence's job,

160
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,473
this would be my last travel season.

161
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,849
Lovely and wonderful.

162
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:55,975
I've got everything timed out.

163
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,602
I'll be back in time for the department lunch.

164
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,771
And I've ordered everything,
you just have to pick up the chicken.

165
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:03,525
And I will stop and get the famous bean salad
on my way home.

166
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,152
Ah, the famous bean salad.

167
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,488
Is that horrible Woolf woman
going to be there?

168
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,614
Uh.

169
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:13,076
Helen is the preeminent
Virginia Woolf scholar.

170
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,329
It was quite a coup to get her from Cambridge.

171
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,872
But I think she has other plans.

172
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,000
Lovely and wonderful.

173
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,007
Oh, I like this life.

174
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:28,925
I do, I do.

175
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,176
Good. So do I.

176
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:37,559
It's so wonderfully simple.

177
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,520
Well, we're simple folk.

178
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,067
Woof.

179
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,360
Excuse me?

180
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,030
You just patted me on the head like a dog.

181
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,740
Oh, did I?

182
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,159
Good, doggie.

183
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,791
"Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote."

184
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:05,378
"The droghte of Marche
hath perced to the roote."

185
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,765
Hi. Thank you so much for coming.

186
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,933
My pleasure. We love Deerfield students.

187
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,435
Oh, I'm so pleased. Good.

188
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:21,561
So, can I help you bring in your things?

189
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,771
Yes, please.

190
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,740
<i>Princeton, in the nation's service</i>

191
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,493
<i>and in the service of all nations.</i>

192
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:43,249
So, you all want to know
the secret formula for getting in, right?

193
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,087
Take out your pens. Write this down.

194
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,464
There is no secret formula.

195
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,093
<i>Left on Pony Run Drive.</i>

196
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,220
But I will tell you what not to do.

197
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,639
No champagne. No baked goods.

198
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,392
And when you phone, it is noted in your file.

199
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,770
So put the reins
on those eager parents of yours.

200
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,273
We're looking for passion.
Whatever it's for, doesn't matter.

201
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,608
Passion.

202
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,527
<i>Right on Shady Lane.</i>

203
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,738
Does that mean that
every Princeton undergraduate is a genius?

204
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,491
Or a prodigy? Absolutely not.

205
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,077
Although, we certainly
wouldn't hold it against you.

206
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,662
Almost enough for everyone.

207
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:30,255
<i>Recalculating.
Recalculating. Recalculating.</i>

208
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,804
<i>Make a U-turn as soon as possible.</i>

209
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,325
- Hey.
- Hi.

210
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,912
Portia Nathan. Princeton admissions office.

211
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,581
I know. I'm John.

212
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,704
- Yes. And you said you went to Dartmouth?
- Uh-huh.

213
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,211
Yeah, and my dad, and his dad, and his dad.

214
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,296
Um, a legacy.

215
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,483
A legacy of what, I'm not really sure.

216
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,010
So, you're chopping some wood here?

217
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,347
I'm showing them
how to build a sustainable irrigation system.

218
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,182
This is my Third World Development class.

219
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,892
Well, nice ax.

220
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,935
Great ax.

221
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,897
- So, let's get to it.
- Yeah.

222
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,042
Hi, there. You all want to know

223
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,544
the secret formula for getting in, right?

224
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,508
Well, take out your pens.

225
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,847
Take 'em out.

226
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,851
Yes?

227
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,104
I'll tell you what I'd like to know.

228
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,357
Why should I apply to an elitist institution

229
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,735
with a history of anti-black,
anti-gay, and anti-female oppression?

230
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,405
Well, actually, I reject that stereotype...

231
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:22,283
Speaking of rejection,
don't you reject 99.9% of your applicants?

232
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,868
Don't you just want to drum up applications

233
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,352
to keep your number-one position
on <i>U.S. News & World Report?</i>

234
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,040
Actually, I think
it's number two this year, right?

235
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,375
Yes, but...

236
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,835
Um, I'm sure it's an aberration.

237
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,670
Don't people just need a college degree

238
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,048
if you want to pursue
the societally approved definition of success?

239
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,425
Yeah. Wouldn't you be better off

240
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:39,718
sitting in your room reading books

241
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,302
instead of spending all that money?

242
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,388
I'm sorry, are you a senior?

243
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,472
No, I'm in sixth grade.

244
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,975
Yeah. Portia, this is my son. Nelson.

245
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,436
I'm adopted. I was born in Uganda.

246
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,354
- Love you, buddy.
- Okay, Dad.

247
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,591
I thought it would be educational for him
to sit in on this.

248
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,361
How's it going so far? You learning a lot?

249
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,196
Kind of. Half and half.

250
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,489
Well, there you go.

251
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,993
Okay. Right. Well, Nelson.

252
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,787
Sure, sitting in a room and reading books

253
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,123
would be very cost-effective, but...

254
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,708
Princeton is a corporation,

255
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,752
no different than an oil company.

256
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,629
We should be educating ourselves
to be citizens of the world

257
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,715
and not of some guarded, suburban enclave!

258
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,968
What we want
is to leave the planet better than we found it!

259
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,476
Okay. Well, good luck with that.

260
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,644
Uh, wait, wait.

261
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,397
I wanna hear about Princeton. Please.

262
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,485
Okay, fine.
But, first, I have a question for all of you.

263
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,488
Just how will you leave the planet better?

264
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,822
Will you eradicate disease?

265
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,306
You're gonna need a medical degree.

266
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,494
If you want to create new drug therapies,
that's a PhD.

267
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,539
Do you want to defend the innocent
and secure justice for all?

268
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,918
I regret to inform you
that you will have to go to law school.

269
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,671
There are plenty
of college graduates out there

270
00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,882
ardently hoping
to leave the world better than they found it.

271
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,385
We are looking for those people!

272
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,679
Students with blazing minds and hearts

273
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,014
who will change the goddamn world!

274
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,313
All right, Portia. Well done.

275
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,024
I bet you guys feel like a bunch of assholes.

276
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,699
Sorry, I probably should have warned you.

277
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:28,284
We tend to encourage
that kind of spirited debate here.

278
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,371
But you did well. You can hit a curveball.

279
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,960
You know,
I'd really like to introduce you to somebody.

280
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,213
This is Jeremiah Balakian.
He's a very special student.

281
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,590
My parents work in a minimart.

282
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:46,261
They're not very educated.
Do you think that matters or...

283
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,054
Of course not. It's your application.

284
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,224
Maybe I should apply then.
Princeton seems like a cool place.

285
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559
It's very cool.

286
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,144
So you're saying I should apply?

287
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,354
I'm not really your typical student.

288
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:59,232
My brain sort of goes
on a little walkabout, you know?

289
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,403
Yes, yes. You should apply.

290
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,239
And if you would like to visit the campus,

291
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,574
we can match you up with an undergrad

292
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,117
- and you can spend the night in his room.
- Oh.

293
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,243
That sounds great.

294
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,163
Then you could hang out
and get to know each other.

295
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,041
Um, I don't really hang out
with the applicants.

296
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,542
- That's not how it works.
- Right.

297
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,587
- Because there's over 20,000 of them.
- Exactly.

298
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,422
Still, I think you should get to know this one.

299
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,398
So, Portia, like <i>The Merchant of Venice?</i>

300
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,186
Yes. My mother thought if she named me that,

301
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,304
I would grow up to be wise.

302
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,597
I'm lucky she didn't name me Athena.

303
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,391
Or Minerva. Or Sophie.
Except a lot of people are named Sophie.

304
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,976
They probably don't even know
what their name means.

305
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,519
Or Metis. That'd be really strange.

306
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,607
Or if your name was Aushenaya,
or Ifiok or Saraswati.

307
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,109
I think you got lucky

308
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,445
if you had to be called
something that stands for wisdom.

309
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,743
Well, thanks for this.

310
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,537
I have to go. I have robotics class.

311
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,710
- Interesting kid.
- He's a great kid.

312
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,514
Yeah, he's become like a part of my family.

313
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,297
I met him at a garage sale.

314
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:05,965
He was reading a law encyclopedia.

315
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,843
We went and had coffee,
and talked for five hours.

316
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,011
He's a prodigy.

317
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:12,639
Well, be sure to include all of that
in your recommendation.

318
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:13,682
Bye.

319
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,064
So, how long have you been at Princeton?

320
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,315
Since college. Sixteen years.

321
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,651
Yeah? Wow.
That's a long time to stay in one place.

322
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,575
- Are you married?
- No. But I live with someone.

323
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,821
- Chair of the English department.
- You have kids?

324
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,447
Thousands.

325
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,949
Can you get these cows out of the way?

326
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,450
Got it. They're enormous.

327
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,285
That one's pregnant.

328
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,495
Where do you stay while you're here?

329
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,956
My mom lives about 10 miles away.

330
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,796
Mom, it's me.

331
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,298
Who?

332
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,175
How many people call you Mom?

333
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,345
Why didn't you tell me you were coming?

334
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,348
I left a message.
I was visiting a school nearby.

335
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,183
I never check my messages.

336
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,935
Ah, it's a good policy.

337
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,855
Thought I'd spend the night
if it's all right with you.

338
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,440
I've got to get up very early

339
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,526
and then hit a few schools
and race back for Mark's department lunch.

340
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,404
How can you stand
those English department gatherings?

341
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:10,655
What could be more dull?

342
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,699
Sometimes you make sacrifices

343
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,781
for the person
you've been living with for 10 years.

344
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,745
That's what a healthy relationship is, Mom.

345
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,038
Thank God
I'm not in one of those.

346
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,414
Yes. Thank God.

347
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:22,417
If I had to do what I'm supposed to be
doing every minute of my life,

348
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,170
like you do, I'd kill myself.

349
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,050
Did you just say if you were me
you would kill yourself?

350
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,551
Portia, don't exaggerate.

351
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,470
I'm working on my bike.

352
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,764
You know, they actually have stores

353
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,557
where you can buy bikes already made.

354
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,808
And did you know that women

355
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,643
are the only exploited group in history

356
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,937
to have been idealized into powerlessness?

357
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,981
- Erica Jong.
- Erica Jong, yeah.

358
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,067
Hey, pups. Hey!

359
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,487
Oh. Hi, Gloria. Hi, Betty. Hi!

360
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:53,490
You're so skinny.
Come on, let's get you something to eat.

361
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,743
No, no! They're not skinny. They're lean.

362
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,621
Dogs are too dependent on humans.
I'm not their slave.

363
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,039
They can get their own damn food.

364
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,248
From where?

365
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,958
Outside. Gophers, squirrels.

366
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,251
The neighbor's cat.

367
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,294
An unattended baby.

368
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:10,715
They're carnivores.
They're meant to be hunters.

369
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,218
Here, hand me that, that chain break.

370
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,808
Mom, you look bigger.

371
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:22,769
These? Fake.

372
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,188
Fake? You mean you had a boob job?

373
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,357
No, no, I had a mastectomy.

374
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,150
These are prosthetic.

375
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,528
I was wondering, you know,
women who have really big breasts,

376
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,030
I thought, "I'd like to see what that is like."

377
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,783
And I tell you,
they get so in the way, it's unbelievable.

378
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,661
I'm thinking of trading them in for a mid-size.

379
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,621
When? When did you have a mastectomy?

380
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:44,958
I don't know.
Five weeks ago, or so. Who keeps track?

381
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,460
They found a lump, it was aggressive.

382
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,421
Hadn't spread yet. I'm aggressive, too.

383
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,716
So I said, "What the hell?
Why push my luck? Take 'em both."

384
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,093
Why didn't you tell me?

385
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,095
I am telling you.

386
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,097
Now.

387
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:02,475
I would have driven you to the hospital.

388
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,520
Portia, I cabbed it. I'm okay.

389
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:11,818
You know, I'm thinking,
you should start calling me Susannah.

390
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,613
I think this could help us avoid all this

391
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,241
mother-daughter role-playing crap

392
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,285
that you can't seem to shake.

393
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,955
You're welcome to stay,
but there's not much for supper,

394
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,832
unless you want to go pick some kale.

395
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,503
I'm remodeling your old room.

396
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,675
I'm going to go make a tea kettle.

397
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,110
- Portia Nathan.<i>
- John Pressman.</i>

398
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:55,487
- Hi.
- Um.

399
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,365
<i>Look, I was wondering
if you wanted to maybe get a drink</i>

400
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,158
<i>or a bite to eat or something?</i>

401
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,869
<i>Maybe talk about the application process
since we're new.</i>

402
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,496
<i>I could swing by and pick you up.</i>

403
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,289
I guess I could eat.

404
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,294
The parents all think their kids' acceptance

405
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:14,089
is the final referendum
on their parenting skills.

406
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,882
- Hello, it's not about you.
- Mmm-hmm.

407
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:19,094
As far as I can tell,
parents exist just to drive their kids insane.

408
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,845
Course, what the hell do I know, really?

409
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,472
Why, were you raised by wolves?

410
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,723
Wolf. Singular.

411
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,059
One wolf.

412
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,687
- One wolf. And you never wanted kids?
- Mmm.

413
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,147
I love that question. Um.

414
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,692
It seemed unfair to subject anyone

415
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,902
to the miserable experience that I had.

416
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,696
Why would you?

417
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,656
There's no way in hell
I'd raise Nelson the way I was raised.

418
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:40,907
Why not?

419
00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,109
'Cause I was raised by sheep.

420
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,704
- So, Uganda.
- Mmm-hmm.

421
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,624
I was working there.
Nelson's mom was a friend.

422
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,795
And she died in a car crash,
along with his uncle.

423
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:54,879
Nelson was two.

424
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,048
So you adopted him.

425
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,509
Seemed like the only thing to do.

426
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,804
All my friends thought for sure that I'd bail,

427
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,683
that I was not ready to be a father,
but screw that.

428
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,309
Right. Screw that.

429
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,104
Nelson loves traveling. He loves it.

430
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,148
We've lived in Indonesia,

431
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:16,776
we built a water purification system
in Myanmar.

432
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,320
I'm sorry. So, you're just this single dad,

433
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,656
traveling the world with his kid, doing good?

434
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,492
When you put it like that
it just sounds so appealing.

435
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,787
But I have that on a T-shirt actually,

436
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,691
"Single dad,
traveling the world with his kid, doing good."

437
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,387
You could borrow it someday if you'd like.

438
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,137
I'm not sure people would believe it on me.

439
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:38,131
Anyway, it's the best thing I ever did,

440
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,674
adopting a kid.

441
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:41,926
It's getting late.

442
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:47,891
Um, excuse me.

443
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:51,144
Oh, no, I can't do that.
Actually, sorry. I can't except gifts.

444
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:56,066
Excuse me. Princeton wants to
buy me a chicken sandwich.

445
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,744
Thank you so much.

446
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,999
Portia, there's something I want to ask you.

447
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:15,543
And I know this is all a bit abrupt.

448
00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:16,836
Yes?

449
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:22,425
Do you think you have room
for one more in your life?

450
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,010
One more what?

451
00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:27,347
One more person.

452
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:32,102
Oh, John, that's so sweet.

453
00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:34,729
But... You seem like a great guy, too.

454
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:40,026
And you can handle an ax,
and you have a very nice nose in your face,

455
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:43,530
but I have a long-term boyfriend.
Long, long, long term.

456
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:47,992
And, you know, we are happy.
We're very happy. We're so happy. It's...

457
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,038
Wow. Happy is one
of those words that if you say it a lot,

458
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,416
it loses its meaning, like fork.

459
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,168
- Fork, fork, fork, fork.
- Mmm-hmm.

460
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,712
Happy, happy, happy, happy.

461
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:01,548
Happy fork. It's not...
Portia, what I mean... Look...

462
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:05,635
Goodbye. Thank you.
This was so much better than kale.

463
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,053
- Um.
- Oh.

464
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:11,307
Okay. I'm sorry.
That's... I was going for the cheek.

465
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,435
- Yeah, that's okay.
- Okay!

466
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,228
Well, nice catching up.

467
00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:18,481
And best of luck with the application process.
Here's my card.

468
00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:19,858
I have your card.

469
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,776
- I gave you my card?
- Yeah.

470
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,445
That's great. Then you have my card.

471
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:33,955
- Oh, my God.
- Sorry.

472
00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:35,749
It was there, you know? You just...

473
00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,251
What are you going to do?
Look, the reason that I'm...

474
00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:40,253
Look, I'm an admissions officer,

475
00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:42,339
and you run a school, and I live with someone

476
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,425
and I've had a really long day
and I'm exhausted

477
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,926
and this never happened, do you understand?

478
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,011
Portia... No.

479
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:52,557
Portia! Look, I asked you here for a reason.
And it wasn't to kiss you.

480
00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:54,434
Please communicate with my associate, Ben,
in the future.

481
00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,728
Portia, wait. Wait. It's just... I think...

482
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,565
I think maybe Jeremiah's your son.

483
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,150
What?

484
00:24:02,567 --> 00:24:03,818
Jeremiah.

485
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,529
I think maybe he's your son.

486
00:24:07,989 --> 00:24:09,616
Are you out of your fucking mind?

487
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:10,867
All right, you know what, let me rewind.

488
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:13,119
At Dartmouth, I was friends with Shelley.

489
00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,538
I don't know what you're talking about.
And you need to leave. Now.

490
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,332
Portia. Wait.

491
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,292
- Jesus!
- She said leave her alone!

492
00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:21,169
What the hell! Mom, put the gun down!

493
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:22,837
No means no, asshole!

494
00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:26,591
I have got this under control! Go inside.

495
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,469
You don't have shit under control, Portia.
You never have.

496
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:32,180
Screw you, Mom!
I do so have my life under control!

497
00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:34,307
You could have been somebody! God damn it.

498
00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:35,809
You could have been a trailblazer.

499
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:38,561
Right, like you?
Holed up here like some crazy old witch?

500
00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:42,273
You know what?
I'm just going to get into my car, very slowly,

501
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:43,608
and let you two chat.

502
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:46,778
Portia, I'll call you?

503
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:47,821
Please don't.

504
00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:50,657
Well, you're not very good
at returning e-mails.

505
00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:52,659
Hmm.

506
00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:54,619
You all right?

507
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:56,496
Fine. Watch where you're waving that thing.

508
00:24:57,956 --> 00:24:59,116
Your breasts are sliding off.

509
00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:04,004
Hi, everyone.

510
00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:07,340
Just back from
a boring recruitment trip. Uneventful.

511
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:08,675
There she is!

512
00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:12,887
So, have you found
the finest young minds in the nation for us?

513
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,222
I'm trying!

514
00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:17,308
Of course she has, she's our golden retriever!

515
00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,814
I love this. I love this bean salad.

516
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:26,860
Just beans and vinaigrette.
So simple, but it just works.

517
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:28,486
Yeah. Beans.

518
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:32,567
Oh, hello, Helen.
So glad you could make it after all.

519
00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:35,702
And I can guarantee,
personally, that next year,

520
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:36,828
all your Virginia Woolf seminars

521
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:38,150
will be filled with superhumans.

522
00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:41,958
I'll never really understand
your admissions system in America.

523
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,793
'Cause we just do tests.

524
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:46,546
We don't really care about your childhood

525
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,882
or your recent conversion to Buddhism.

526
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,176
Gray matter, that's what counts.

527
00:25:51,301 --> 00:25:54,220
Helen, would you mind
putting the bread on the table?

528
00:25:55,055 --> 00:25:56,556
Thank you so much.

529
00:25:59,559 --> 00:26:03,021
I want you to know that this, us, this life,

530
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,898
it's everything that I've always wanted.

531
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:09,235
Helen, back so soon.
Could you put the salad on?

532
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,102
What's she got against bean salad?

533
00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:22,332
Portia, we need to talk.
I can't do this any more. I'm sorry.

534
00:26:22,665 --> 00:26:24,065
Oh, God. I hate these lunches, too.

535
00:26:24,084 --> 00:26:25,919
No. This. Us.

536
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:30,548
Is that Helen? That's weird.

537
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:31,591
Portia, I'm having twins.

538
00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:33,927
- What are you talking about?
- Twins.

539
00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:36,262
Twins, I'm having twins.

540
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,098
Mark, you're talking like a crazy person.

541
00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:41,518
Helen is having twins.
My twins. I'm leaving you.

542
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:45,939
I'm sorry. You had sex with that woman?

543
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,107
A bit.

544
00:26:47,190 --> 00:26:51,611
You had unprotected sex
with that vile Virginia Woolf scholar?

545
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:53,655
There's no need to make a scene. I am sorry.

546
00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:55,240
You don't deserve this, you don't.

547
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:57,200
You're loyal and a good companion, and...

548
00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:58,993
Stop it with the dog stuff!

549
00:26:59,077 --> 00:27:01,371
Clean. What? I have to go. Now.

550
00:27:01,621 --> 00:27:03,248
No, no, you have to stay.

551
00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:07,419
We have guests. And we are a family unit.

552
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:08,670
You didn't want a family.

553
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,296
Neither did you!

554
00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:12,549
No, that's true. I really don't.

555
00:27:13,383 --> 00:27:15,969
I can't stand babies. They're repulsive.

556
00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:18,847
Oh, God, she's backing out now.

557
00:27:18,930 --> 00:27:20,140
Oh, that's the chicken.

558
00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:22,851
Would you mind terribly
taking it out? Goodbye.

559
00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:27,981
I kissed someone! Almost on purpose!

560
00:27:32,193 --> 00:27:34,070
Mark had an emergency.

561
00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:38,408
A student was having a breakdown
about Robert Frost.

562
00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:41,202
Two roads diverging in a wood,
and which to take.

563
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,622
So, who likes breasts?

564
00:27:44,664 --> 00:27:46,958
Mark loves breasts. The more the merrier!

565
00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:50,259
In fact, why don't I just put this
aside for him for when he gets home.

566
00:27:51,004 --> 00:27:53,173
So, who likes legs? Well, Mark likes legs.

567
00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:58,386
Who likes assholes? I guess that's me.

568
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,599
Virginia Woolf was a twat.

569
00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:04,476
Extremely overrated.

570
00:28:05,185 --> 00:28:06,436
No Gertrude Stein.

571
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,564
I'll have a breast, please.

572
00:28:16,821 --> 00:28:21,659
Oh, God, damn it. Damn it.

573
00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:31,044
Excuse me.

574
00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,047
This is your mother?

575
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:35,215
Uh, yes.

576
00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:40,512
I saw her lecture on Frida Kahlo in 1977.

577
00:28:40,553 --> 00:28:43,056
She was extremely hot.

578
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:44,974
Okay.

579
00:28:45,392 --> 00:28:46,893
Is she well? Your mother?

580
00:28:47,435 --> 00:28:49,145
- Yeah, she's fine.
- Good.

581
00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:52,649
Well, thank you for the party.
It was very pleasant.

582
00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:55,360
Everyone is now leaving.

583
00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:57,904
Okay. I shall close this door behind?

584
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:00,323
Yes. I'll be right out.

585
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:28,601
Get to work.

586
00:29:39,070 --> 00:29:40,697
I will always be there for you.

587
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:42,615
Nothing will ever change that.

588
00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:13,980
Top of the morning, Clarence!

589
00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:16,900
Morning.

590
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:21,946
If you want to take
a couple of personal days...

591
00:30:22,405 --> 00:30:23,448
Um...

592
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:24,699
Why would I?

593
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,536
Everyone knows?

594
00:30:29,579 --> 00:30:31,664
- About Mark, I mean.
- Yes.

595
00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,626
And that Woolf woman.

596
00:30:37,212 --> 00:30:39,381
I'm very sorry about the timing of this.

597
00:30:39,464 --> 00:30:43,510
But I want you to know,
I am here for you 1,000%.

598
00:30:43,718 --> 00:30:46,888
This is my life. It's what I'm good at.

599
00:30:46,971 --> 00:30:48,181
I know.

600
00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:50,016
And, please, rest assured, Clarence,

601
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,560
that nothing will affect my work.

602
00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:53,937
Nothing.

603
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:56,856
Well, that's great. You just carry on.

604
00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,033
Mmm.

605
00:31:07,659 --> 00:31:10,286
And that was the famous Blair Arch.

606
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:15,041
Here comes one
of our illustrious admissions officers.

607
00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:17,127
Clearly a very busy time for you all.

608
00:31:17,210 --> 00:31:20,046
Any words of wisdom
for hopefully future Princetonians?

609
00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:21,715
What?

610
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:22,882
Words of wisdom?

611
00:31:23,174 --> 00:31:24,175
Oh.

612
00:31:25,135 --> 00:31:27,887
Just get those applications in,

613
00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:29,347
and remember to be yourself,

614
00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:35,186
'cause who else could you be,
that's who you're stuck with.

615
00:31:37,105 --> 00:31:39,899
Okay, got the idea. Let's keep moving.

616
00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:44,112
Any budding astrophysicists in the crowd?

617
00:31:44,195 --> 00:31:45,864
'Cause I've got a treat for you next.

618
00:31:46,072 --> 00:31:49,284
I'm Jeremiah, from Quest.
Hi. You remember me?

619
00:31:49,534 --> 00:31:50,577
Yes, I remember you.

620
00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:52,078
I'm Nelson.

621
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,455
I remember you, too.

622
00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:54,664
I'm John.

623
00:31:54,748 --> 00:31:55,749
Turns out we had a chance to come

624
00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:57,083
down here today, to visit the campus.

625
00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:58,376
What a surprise.

626
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,253
It's awesome. It's like, ancient!

627
00:32:01,588 --> 00:32:03,882
I'm sorry, but what...
What do you think that you're doing here?

628
00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:06,468
Jeremiah wanted to see the place.
And you and I should talk.

629
00:32:06,551 --> 00:32:07,844
You are out of your mind.

630
00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:08,970
Almost forgot to ask.

631
00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:13,266
Um, remember when you said that
I could spend the night with an undergrad?

632
00:32:13,350 --> 00:32:15,643
Is that still possible?

633
00:32:16,436 --> 00:32:18,438
Okay. Yes. That's possible.

634
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,608
Just catch up with the tour and
meet me back at Admissions.

635
00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:41,795
What are you doing?
You're not allowed in here!

636
00:32:41,878 --> 00:32:42,921
What happened the other night...

637
00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:44,631
Nothing happened the other night.

638
00:32:44,673 --> 00:32:48,468
Right, it was nothing,
so don't let it get in the way of this.

639
00:32:51,137 --> 00:32:53,014
This is Jeremiah's birth certificate.

640
00:32:53,098 --> 00:32:55,433
I knew Shelley, your roommate at Dartmouth.

641
00:32:55,517 --> 00:32:56,643
I had a car.

642
00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:58,186
She borrowed it to pick you up
after you had the baby.

643
00:32:58,311 --> 00:32:59,771
Valentine's Day.

644
00:32:59,896 --> 00:33:03,108
Shelley told me you had the baby
at 1:00 p.m. on Valentine's Day.

645
00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:06,152
That stuck with me. I hate Valentine's Day.

646
00:33:06,528 --> 00:33:08,488
- It's a despicable holiday.
- It sucks.

647
00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:10,782
Here's the crazy part.

648
00:33:10,824 --> 00:33:12,075
When Jeremiah applied to Quest,

649
00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:13,576
I saw this and I put it together.

650
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:15,453
It says that he was born
and given up for adoption.

651
00:33:15,495 --> 00:33:19,165
Valentine's Day, 1995,
at 1:00 p.m. at Blaine Hospital.

652
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:21,793
I know you didn't ask for this.

653
00:33:21,835 --> 00:33:23,670
And I'm not trying to ruin your life.

654
00:33:24,546 --> 00:33:25,797
But I care about this kid,

655
00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:28,508
and I think he could use
a little more connection in his life.

656
00:33:29,884 --> 00:33:31,678
I didn't tell him anything.

657
00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,680
It's your decision. I'm just setting it up.

658
00:33:36,391 --> 00:33:39,811
He has his parents.
He has you, right? Nelson?

659
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,730
Yeah, his parents are great people.

660
00:33:41,813 --> 00:33:42,814
But we're moving on.

661
00:33:42,856 --> 00:33:44,357
Nelson and me.

662
00:33:44,941 --> 00:33:46,192
Hey, maybe it was meant to be.

663
00:33:46,234 --> 00:33:47,318
Nothing is meant to be.

664
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,030
And you don't just barrel into
other people's lives like this.

665
00:33:50,155 --> 00:33:52,741
This is bad form. This is bad form.

666
00:33:52,866 --> 00:33:53,992
Bad form.

667
00:33:54,034 --> 00:33:55,160
I am not a project.

668
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:57,620
I am not some village
in need of a water system.

669
00:33:59,664 --> 00:34:01,708
- Hi.
- Hi.

670
00:34:03,335 --> 00:34:05,128
John Pressman. Quest School.

671
00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:08,673
Oh, Clarence Hall,
Dean of Admissions. Princeton.

672
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:11,092
It's quite an operation you have here.

673
00:34:11,176 --> 00:34:12,177
Thank you.

674
00:34:12,218 --> 00:34:15,055
Okay, well, Mr. Pressman was just leaving.

675
00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:16,639
Right. Of course.

676
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:20,060
It was nice to meet you.

677
00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:22,395
Hey, I heard about you guys
dropping to number two.

678
00:34:22,604 --> 00:34:26,399
Sorry. But number two is, you know...
That's good, too.

679
00:34:26,691 --> 00:34:28,691
Here's the information
you wanted for your student,

680
00:34:28,735 --> 00:34:30,278
the undergrad
he'll be spending the night with.

681
00:34:30,403 --> 00:34:34,032
Thank you. And here is the information
you'll need on that student.

682
00:34:35,742 --> 00:34:38,328
Ben, do you mind
escorting Mr. Pressman out?

683
00:34:38,411 --> 00:34:39,746
And, Mr. Pressman, in the future,

684
00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:42,582
e-mail is the appropriate form
of communication.

685
00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:43,833
Right. Sorry.

686
00:34:43,917 --> 00:34:47,295
Yeah, e-mail. Will do.

687
00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:49,839
All right. See ya.

688
00:34:52,509 --> 00:34:56,763
You know, it's highly unusual,
it's actually unheard of,

689
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:59,516
for a school director to be back here.

690
00:34:59,933 --> 00:35:01,059
I know.

691
00:35:01,101 --> 00:35:03,621
I think we should hire a security guard
to keep the crazies out,

692
00:35:03,728 --> 00:35:06,356
because it is getting out of control.

693
00:35:34,759 --> 00:35:35,885
Hmm.

694
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:47,439
Yo, what's up?

695
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:48,523
I beg your pardon?

696
00:35:48,606 --> 00:35:50,734
I'm looking for my roomie.

697
00:35:52,652 --> 00:35:53,778
Can I help you?

698
00:35:53,903 --> 00:35:55,488
Doing a great job.

699
00:35:57,323 --> 00:35:59,325
So a zombie will move and talk

700
00:35:59,409 --> 00:36:01,828
as if it were awake
and genuinely aware of its surroundings,

701
00:36:01,870 --> 00:36:03,705
but its inner light is off.

702
00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:05,498
Right,
and if it's logically possible for

703
00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,667
a creature to have a brain just like yours

704
00:36:07,792 --> 00:36:09,085
and no conscious experience,

705
00:36:09,169 --> 00:36:12,088
then consciousness
is not literally identical to brain activity.

706
00:36:12,672 --> 00:36:14,466
- Exactly!
- Exactly!

707
00:36:15,717 --> 00:36:18,678
Hi, you are not a student.

708
00:36:18,887 --> 00:36:20,647
What? You trying to crash or something here?

709
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,098
Yo, what's up?

710
00:36:22,557 --> 00:36:23,850
I... Hi.

711
00:36:26,811 --> 00:36:28,646
Hi, everyone. I'm from Admissions.

712
00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:30,565
And we like to come in and check on

713
00:36:30,648 --> 00:36:32,776
our overnight high school visitors.

714
00:36:32,859 --> 00:36:35,236
So, Jeremiah, are you warm enough?

715
00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:37,030
Do you have everything that you need?

716
00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:39,866
Do you need a Princeton sweatshirt?

717
00:36:40,033 --> 00:36:43,119
Or did you remember
to bring your toothbrush?

718
00:36:43,203 --> 00:36:44,412
I'm fine. Thanks.

719
00:36:44,496 --> 00:36:45,872
Good. What is that?

720
00:36:45,955 --> 00:36:47,082
It's diet soda.

721
00:36:47,207 --> 00:36:48,708
Diet soda. Why diet?

722
00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:49,993
I just like the taste better.

723
00:36:50,043 --> 00:36:52,379
So do I. That's unbelievable.

724
00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:53,463
I guess?

725
00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:55,799
Just diet soda, no...

726
00:36:55,882 --> 00:36:57,384
Yeah.

727
00:36:57,467 --> 00:37:02,180
Great. Good.
Well, get back to your zombie talk.

728
00:37:03,431 --> 00:37:05,225
Okay. Thank you.

729
00:37:08,228 --> 00:37:10,438
Dude, what a cougar, huh?

730
00:37:21,825 --> 00:37:23,326
- What...
- Hi.

731
00:37:23,410 --> 00:37:24,494
You don't happen to actually have

732
00:37:24,577 --> 00:37:25,745
an extra toothbrush on you, do you?

733
00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:28,498
On me? No. No.
Why, you do need a toothbrush?

734
00:37:28,915 --> 00:37:30,083
- Yeah.
- Okay.

735
00:37:31,001 --> 00:37:32,210
Soft bristles, right?

736
00:37:32,252 --> 00:37:36,589
That's what kids, teenagers,
your age are supposed to use, right?

737
00:37:37,590 --> 00:37:39,592
Um, I think soft might be more for baby teeth.

738
00:37:39,634 --> 00:37:41,302
I prefer to use just, like, a medium.

739
00:37:41,428 --> 00:37:44,556
Yep, don't listen to me.
You'd end up with a mouth full of cavities.

740
00:37:45,432 --> 00:37:47,851
Hey, how about
this rechargeable toothbrush?

741
00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:49,436
That looks pretty cool.

742
00:37:49,561 --> 00:37:51,162
Yeah, I don't think I need that, as much

743
00:37:51,229 --> 00:37:52,909
as I do appreciate Thomas the Tank Engine.

744
00:37:57,277 --> 00:37:58,403
I'm an idiot.

745
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:01,031
You just pick what you need.

746
00:38:01,781 --> 00:38:02,991
Just...

747
00:38:04,159 --> 00:38:05,493
Okay, then.

748
00:38:06,828 --> 00:38:07,912
Okay.

749
00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:09,039
Well, I guess this is it.

750
00:38:09,122 --> 00:38:10,123
Yeah.

751
00:38:14,252 --> 00:38:16,254
- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.

752
00:38:25,138 --> 00:38:26,389
Portia?

753
00:38:27,974 --> 00:38:29,142
Are you all right?

754
00:38:32,479 --> 00:38:35,732
I'm fine. I'm great. What are you doing here?

755
00:38:35,857 --> 00:38:38,651
We're just up the street.

756
00:38:38,735 --> 00:38:39,944
She said she's fine.

757
00:38:41,363 --> 00:38:42,739
Have you been drinking, Portia?

758
00:38:42,864 --> 00:38:45,533
A little bit, you know me, I'm a lightweight.

759
00:38:45,617 --> 00:38:46,743
Where are your glasses?

760
00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:50,455
Uh, I thought I'd give contacts a try.

761
00:38:51,664 --> 00:38:53,875
Well, all right. Good to see you.

762
00:38:59,631 --> 00:39:00,840
Oh, no.

763
00:39:00,965 --> 00:39:02,008
Ugh.

764
00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:03,510
That's harsh.

765
00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:06,179
Yes. Yes it is.

766
00:39:11,393 --> 00:39:13,770
- Portia Nathan here.<i>
- Susannah here.</i>

767
00:39:13,853 --> 00:39:15,939
Your mother. Mom.

768
00:39:16,022 --> 00:39:18,149
<i>Mark called. I know he never liked me,</i>

769
00:39:18,191 --> 00:39:20,360
<i>but he thought you might be in need
of some comfort and guidance.</i>

770
00:39:20,443 --> 00:39:23,405
So, I think this is all a very good thing.

771
00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:26,741
Getting left is a good thing? Really?
I have to go.

772
00:39:26,866 --> 00:39:28,702
Good. You're angry. You need to express that.

773
00:39:28,743 --> 00:39:31,413
Talk to me. I'm here for you, sweetie.

774
00:39:33,331 --> 00:39:36,459
Well, I actually feel really sad and...

775
00:39:36,584 --> 00:39:39,921
And that is exactly why I knew that night
on the train 37 years ago,

776
00:39:40,046 --> 00:39:41,756
the man reading <i>I'm OK, You're OK...</i>

777
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,550
No, please, not the train story.

778
00:39:43,675 --> 00:39:46,428
I knew I needed his sperm,
but I did not need him.

779
00:39:47,637 --> 00:39:49,222
Hey, watch yourself, asshole!

780
00:39:51,182 --> 00:39:52,726
Mom. Susannah.

781
00:39:52,934 --> 00:39:55,520
I wanted a child,
but not some moody relationship.

782
00:39:55,729 --> 00:39:58,023
Sex with a stranger on the New Jersey Transit

783
00:39:58,064 --> 00:39:59,733
was the answer to my problems.

784
00:39:59,858 --> 00:40:02,485
<i>It's not healthy to need
other people too much.</i>

785
00:40:02,652 --> 00:40:05,363
And now you need
to go out and fall in love with yourself.

786
00:40:05,405 --> 00:40:06,781
Well, I'm gonna go do that.

787
00:40:06,865 --> 00:40:07,907
You go, girl.

788
00:40:07,991 --> 00:40:10,243
Yup. Gonna go buy a train ticket right now.

789
00:40:18,918 --> 00:40:21,921
John, Portia again.
This is my eighth, no, ninth message.

790
00:40:21,963 --> 00:40:23,006
Please call me back.

791
00:40:23,089 --> 00:40:28,261
It's very important
that you not tell Jeremiah a thing about

792
00:40:28,345 --> 00:40:31,431
the thing,
the thing that we were talking about.

793
00:40:31,556 --> 00:40:33,933
Not a word. Call me back.

794
00:40:45,737 --> 00:40:47,781
They hooked it up
'cause they didn't have a shield on the horse.

795
00:40:47,864 --> 00:40:49,199
But I wear it like a medal

796
00:40:49,282 --> 00:40:50,825
'cause it tells the world where I belong,

797
00:40:50,909 --> 00:40:52,452
deep down in the working class.

798
00:40:52,619 --> 00:40:53,620
Yeah!

799
00:40:53,703 --> 00:40:55,288
Hey, Princeton, what are you doing?

800
00:40:55,372 --> 00:40:57,457
Just observing the school

801
00:40:57,499 --> 00:41:00,085
so that I can better evaluate applicants.

802
00:41:00,126 --> 00:41:01,503
Cool. I'm cutting class.

803
00:41:01,628 --> 00:41:03,797
Cutting class is never a good idea.

804
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,133
I hate geography class. I hate maps.

805
00:41:07,175 --> 00:41:08,468
You hate maps? Why?

806
00:41:08,510 --> 00:41:10,510
Because you never know
where you'll end up on them.

807
00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,180
Not with my dad.

808
00:41:12,263 --> 00:41:13,973
Well, I'm sure your dad has excellent reasons

809
00:41:14,057 --> 00:41:15,850
for leading a rootless and impulsive life.

810
00:41:15,975 --> 00:41:17,175
I thought you loved traveling.

811
00:41:17,185 --> 00:41:19,562
I'm sick of traveling. I love playing bridge.

812
00:41:20,021 --> 00:41:21,981
Besides, do they even
play bridge in Ecuador?

813
00:41:22,107 --> 00:41:23,692
- No idea.
- How long have you been at Princeton?

814
00:41:23,775 --> 00:41:24,818
Sixteen years. But...

815
00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,486
Wow. You totally rock!

816
00:41:26,569 --> 00:41:27,737
Yeah? Thanks. Why is that?

817
00:41:27,821 --> 00:41:29,501
Because you're, like, totally predictable.

818
00:41:29,614 --> 00:41:31,783
So, can you tell me
where I could find your dad?

819
00:41:34,035 --> 00:41:36,746
I've been trying to reach you.
I left you a million messages!

820
00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:38,164
Yeah, well, sorry, I'm a little busy.

821
00:41:38,206 --> 00:41:39,249
What are you doing to that cow?

822
00:41:39,332 --> 00:41:41,960
Cow's in labor. I'd shake your hand, but I...

823
00:41:42,002 --> 00:41:43,628
Look, I never told a soul...

824
00:41:43,670 --> 00:41:45,213
Stay back. This cow doesn't know you.

825
00:41:45,338 --> 00:41:47,382
Actually, I think we met
the last time I was here.

826
00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:49,454
Do you even know whether Jeremiah

827
00:41:49,467 --> 00:41:50,707
wants to meet his birth mother?

828
00:41:52,178 --> 00:41:55,056
He wrote an essay last year
entitled, "Nature versus Nurture",

829
00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,580
"I wonder who my birth parents are."

830
00:41:56,641 --> 00:41:59,019
Portia, the wise!
Nelson told me you were here.

831
00:41:59,060 --> 00:42:01,187
I just wanted to thank you so much.

832
00:42:01,271 --> 00:42:02,551
I had the best night of my life.

833
00:42:02,689 --> 00:42:04,149
There's nothing I want more in life

834
00:42:04,190 --> 00:42:05,608
than to go to Princeton. Nothing.

835
00:42:08,862 --> 00:42:09,946
Is something wrong with that cow?

836
00:42:10,155 --> 00:42:12,824
Where's the goddamn vet! Ugh!

837
00:42:12,866 --> 00:42:14,325
Well, I'm gonna find my own way out.

838
00:42:14,409 --> 00:42:17,537
Shit! This isn't right.
This isn't how it looks on the Internet!

839
00:42:17,746 --> 00:42:19,426
Okay, bye now. Best of luck with all that.

840
00:42:19,497 --> 00:42:20,999
Come back. Grab her head. Calm her down.

841
00:42:21,041 --> 00:42:22,292
You said stay back.

842
00:42:22,375 --> 00:42:23,376
I changed my mind!

843
00:42:28,423 --> 00:42:29,716
She looks so mad.

844
00:42:29,799 --> 00:42:31,479
Well, she's probably protecting her young.

845
00:42:32,844 --> 00:42:34,429
Hey there, little mama.

846
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:40,727
It's all gonna be okay.
Just focus on your breath.

847
00:42:40,852 --> 00:42:42,395
Your terrible, terrible breath.

848
00:42:42,687 --> 00:42:46,191
Think how lucky you are
not to be on a beef ranch right now.

849
00:42:46,232 --> 00:42:48,234
I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.

850
00:42:49,319 --> 00:42:52,030
Where's the bull that did this to you?

851
00:42:52,072 --> 00:42:54,032
He's probably out partying with his friends.

852
00:42:54,199 --> 00:42:56,951
She's clamping again.
Jeremiah, get back here, please. Fast!

853
00:42:57,577 --> 00:43:00,497
You're not alone.
You're not alone, okay, mama?

854
00:43:00,830 --> 00:43:03,249
We're here with you. You can do this.

855
00:43:03,375 --> 00:43:07,003
'Cause it happens either way.
It happens either way.

856
00:43:07,170 --> 00:43:09,297
All right, it's coming.
Portia, get back here now.

857
00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,091
Horrible.

858
00:43:11,216 --> 00:43:13,760
Grab a hoof. Grab a hoof. All right.
On the count of three.

859
00:43:13,802 --> 00:43:14,803
One.

860
00:43:16,596 --> 00:43:18,515
Two. Three. Pull!

861
00:43:23,436 --> 00:43:24,437
It's gross!

862
00:43:29,317 --> 00:43:30,443
Boundaries!

863
00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:32,876
Did you not see my "Do not disturb" sign?

864
00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:35,532
Yeah, I saw it, but you're not the only one
who reeks of cow placenta.

865
00:43:35,782 --> 00:43:37,909
Why do you have
"Do not disturb" signs with you?

866
00:43:37,951 --> 00:43:40,370
Oh, I don't know. Maybe for times like these?

867
00:43:40,453 --> 00:43:41,830
Here, try this soap.

868
00:43:42,789 --> 00:43:44,332
Look, he's a great kid,

869
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:47,627
and you're clearly
a great, mildly compulsive, woman.

870
00:43:47,711 --> 00:43:48,712
Take the leap!

871
00:43:48,962 --> 00:43:50,547
I'm sorry, who's mildly compulsive?

872
00:43:50,630 --> 00:43:52,799
Why do you run around
fixing everyone else's life?

873
00:43:52,924 --> 00:43:53,967
What about yours?

874
00:43:54,050 --> 00:43:56,845
My life is fine, thank you very much.
It's frigging great.

875
00:43:57,303 --> 00:43:59,264
Ah, God, the water just turned to ice!

876
00:43:59,305 --> 00:44:00,432
Oh, oops, sorry.

877
00:44:00,515 --> 00:44:02,350
Yeah, it's solar powered. Bit finicky.

878
00:44:06,312 --> 00:44:09,024
Jeremiah has to get his application in pronto.

879
00:44:09,107 --> 00:44:10,275
Work on his resume.

880
00:44:10,316 --> 00:44:13,695
A unique talent that demonstrates passion
and commitment would be good.

881
00:44:13,778 --> 00:44:15,780
He has got to get going on his essay.

882
00:44:15,822 --> 00:44:18,658
And then you have to prepare him
for an alumni interview.

883
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:20,740
You may have built schools
in third world countries,

884
00:44:20,785 --> 00:44:22,704
and cleaned
contaminated water from villages,

885
00:44:22,871 --> 00:44:24,998
but you have never tried
to get a kid into Princeton.

886
00:44:25,248 --> 00:44:27,208
- Neither have you.
- I am not trying!

887
00:44:27,292 --> 00:44:30,420
I'm an admissions officer.
I am just helping you try.

888
00:44:30,503 --> 00:44:34,466
As I would with any outstanding student
who may have been overlooked.

889
00:44:34,674 --> 00:44:36,384
There's nothing improper going on here.

890
00:44:39,054 --> 00:44:40,889
I'm going to exit the shower stall now.

891
00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,057
Okay.

892
00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:44,684
I'm going to remain in the shower stall
for approximately 30 seconds.

893
00:44:44,768 --> 00:44:45,769
Fantastic.

894
00:44:46,936 --> 00:44:49,022
- Hey.
- Yes? How can I help you?

895
00:44:49,773 --> 00:44:50,940
You think he has a shot?

896
00:44:51,691 --> 00:44:53,068
Send me his transcripts.

897
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,072
Nelson, take a corner kick.

898
00:45:00,575 --> 00:45:01,659
What was that? Do it again.

899
00:45:01,868 --> 00:45:03,203
I'm not good at corner kicks.

900
00:45:03,286 --> 00:45:04,704
Horse shit! Put your heart into it!

901
00:45:08,875 --> 00:45:10,168
Hey, Portia, how you doing?

902
00:45:10,293 --> 00:45:13,838
This is, without a doubt,
the worst transcript I have ever seen!

903
00:45:14,047 --> 00:45:15,048
Switch.

904
00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:18,176
<i>D's and F's in 9th, 10th and 11th grade.</i>

905
00:45:18,343 --> 00:45:21,680
Suspensions, detentions, a Special Ed class?

906
00:45:21,721 --> 00:45:22,889
What the hell were you thinking?

907
00:45:22,931 --> 00:45:24,052
Did you read the rest of it?

908
00:45:24,057 --> 00:45:26,267
Why, am I missing a police record?

909
00:45:27,227 --> 00:45:29,979
Come on, man. Quit half-assing it, huh?

910
00:45:30,939 --> 00:45:33,149
You play like that,
those Ecuadorian kids are gonna eat you up!

911
00:45:33,316 --> 00:45:34,651
All right. Jeremiah got the top score

912
00:45:34,734 --> 00:45:36,277
on eight Advanced Placement tests

913
00:45:36,528 --> 00:45:39,406
<i>without ever taking
the Advanced Placement courses.</i>

914
00:45:39,489 --> 00:45:42,242
And his SATs are almost perfect.

915
00:45:42,325 --> 00:45:43,535
God, did he...

916
00:45:43,618 --> 00:45:44,953
Cheat? No.

917
00:45:45,078 --> 00:45:46,329
<i>I insisted he take those tests.</i>

918
00:45:46,538 --> 00:45:49,374
He's brilliant. He's the most brilliant student
I've come across.

919
00:45:49,582 --> 00:45:51,001
- Really?<i>
- Switch!</i>

920
00:45:51,251 --> 00:45:54,421
Regardless, kids like Jeremiah
don't get into Princeton.

921
00:45:54,462 --> 00:45:57,007
He is gonna be up against
kids that have resumes 15-feet long.

922
00:45:57,132 --> 00:45:59,384
So? Those kids are so burnt out already,

923
00:45:59,426 --> 00:46:00,885
<i>all they want to do is get stoned</i>

924
00:46:00,927 --> 00:46:02,429
<i>and play Frisbee for the rest of their lives.</i>

925
00:46:02,470 --> 00:46:05,181
Princeton would be damn lucky
to have Jeremiah.

926
00:46:05,390 --> 00:46:08,768
Hey, <i>f煤tbol, f煤tbol. </i> It's a world sport, all right.

927
00:46:08,810 --> 00:46:09,978
Put some heart into it!

928
00:46:10,061 --> 00:46:12,313
<i>Did you get that other thing I sent you?
In the box.</i>

929
00:46:21,322 --> 00:46:22,449
Very funny.

930
00:46:22,615 --> 00:46:25,201
Look, he wants this. He really wants this.

931
00:46:25,285 --> 00:46:27,620
And I think he would thrive there. I can see it.

932
00:46:28,913 --> 00:46:32,000
Look, I can't do anything
that could get me into trouble.

933
00:46:32,083 --> 00:46:34,961
But since you're new to the process,
as a professional courtesy,

934
00:46:35,003 --> 00:46:37,964
I can send you books, resources,

935
00:46:38,048 --> 00:46:39,674
everything that one might need. Okay?

936
00:46:39,966 --> 00:46:41,217
- Great.
- Goodbye.

937
00:46:43,219 --> 00:46:44,387
What the hell was that?

938
00:46:44,471 --> 00:46:46,556
I put my heart into it. <i>F煤tbol.</i>

939
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,768
I'll give you 10 bucks if you can do it again.

940
00:46:53,813 --> 00:46:55,023
They grow up so damn fast, don't they?

941
00:46:55,106 --> 00:46:56,274
Yeah.

942
00:46:56,399 --> 00:46:57,817
Which one is yours?

943
00:46:58,401 --> 00:46:59,569
Yeah.

944
00:47:05,825 --> 00:47:07,285
With a megaphone.

945
00:47:07,327 --> 00:47:09,996
Yeah. Right? Exactly.

946
00:47:20,882 --> 00:47:23,051
Okay, okay, I heard you. I heard you.

947
00:47:23,134 --> 00:47:25,095
Let me. It takes a village.

948
00:47:25,345 --> 00:47:27,430
Get your hands off my baby!

949
00:47:27,514 --> 00:47:29,355
- No, I was just helping.
- What are you doing?

950
00:47:29,391 --> 00:47:30,591
Everybody needs a little help.

951
00:47:30,642 --> 00:47:31,851
Get out.

952
00:47:32,519 --> 00:47:33,520
I'm helping you.

953
00:47:33,603 --> 00:47:34,854
Come on. Come on.

954
00:47:35,563 --> 00:47:36,606
Right now.

955
00:47:36,690 --> 00:47:38,566
I'm not... I'm not a creep.

956
00:47:54,207 --> 00:47:56,167
When I was eight years old,
I realized my teachers

957
00:47:56,209 --> 00:47:58,044
were not going to be able to teach me.

958
00:47:58,169 --> 00:48:00,797
So I became an autodidact.

959
00:48:01,047 --> 00:48:02,257
I read everything.

960
00:48:06,219 --> 00:48:08,013
<i>I read biographies,</i>

961
00:48:08,096 --> 00:48:10,724
<i>mainly because I didn't know
how other people lived their lives.</i>

962
00:48:18,231 --> 00:48:20,900
<i>I learned several years ago that I was adopted,</i>

963
00:48:20,942 --> 00:48:22,402
<i>that I was supposed to be the son</i>

964
00:48:22,485 --> 00:48:25,030
<i>that my parents tried so hard
to have on their own.</i>

965
00:48:25,113 --> 00:48:27,574
<i>I think my voracious reading
came from a deep longing</i>

966
00:48:27,657 --> 00:48:28,897
<i>for something that was missing.</i>

967
00:48:30,076 --> 00:48:31,411
<i>I was searching for someone.</i>

968
00:48:31,578 --> 00:48:32,579
<i>For my story.</i>

969
00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:35,749
<i>To not feel so alone.</i>

970
00:48:41,755 --> 00:48:43,715
Portia?

971
00:48:46,593 --> 00:48:48,178
I knew you were taking this all rather hard,

972
00:48:48,261 --> 00:48:50,305
but I thought by now
you'd be back on your feet.

973
00:48:50,388 --> 00:48:51,431
What?

974
00:48:51,931 --> 00:48:52,932
It kills me.

975
00:48:53,933 --> 00:48:55,693
It really kills me. You'll get through this.

976
00:48:55,727 --> 00:48:56,770
You think...

977
00:48:56,811 --> 00:48:57,937
I know it seems impossible, but you will.

978
00:48:58,188 --> 00:48:59,773
No, this has nothing to do with you.

979
00:49:00,940 --> 00:49:02,340
It's okay. It's okay. I understand.

980
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,568
No, really.

981
00:49:05,153 --> 00:49:08,531
Oh, Christ! I have to go. Hang on in there!

982
00:49:10,408 --> 00:49:11,534
Well, that's so funny.

983
00:49:11,618 --> 00:49:13,995
Il Forno is one of my favorite restaurants, too.

984
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,705
- That's amazing.
- I know.

985
00:49:15,830 --> 00:49:16,831
Hey.

986
00:49:16,915 --> 00:49:18,833
Portia, sweetie, you feeling all right?

987
00:49:20,460 --> 00:49:22,420
- Just terrific. Thanks.
- Oh, good.

988
00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:24,297
Then I think there was an evaluation card

989
00:49:24,381 --> 00:49:26,383
that was placed on the wrong file.

990
00:49:26,466 --> 00:49:28,635
A Jeremiah Balakian.

991
00:49:28,927 --> 00:49:30,053
Balakian.

992
00:49:30,637 --> 00:49:31,680
Balakian.

993
00:49:33,056 --> 00:49:34,808
- Balakian.
- Balakian.

994
00:49:35,058 --> 00:49:36,309
I think.

995
00:49:36,476 --> 00:49:39,020
You didn't mean
to put "High Consider," did you?

996
00:49:39,479 --> 00:49:41,606
Um, let me see.

997
00:49:45,652 --> 00:49:46,695
No, that's right.

998
00:49:46,778 --> 00:49:48,530
But he has D's and F's and suspensions.

999
00:49:48,738 --> 00:49:52,826
But did you notice that
he also got fives on all eight AP exams

1000
00:49:52,992 --> 00:49:55,662
without ever taking any AP courses?

1001
00:49:55,745 --> 00:49:58,373
Yes. I'm going to investigate that.
That's impossible.

1002
00:49:58,498 --> 00:50:03,670
No, apparently not, if the child in question
is a unique, special child.

1003
00:50:05,088 --> 00:50:07,173
This isn't a child. It's an applicant.

1004
00:50:07,257 --> 00:50:09,134
He's got no extracurriculars at all.

1005
00:50:09,175 --> 00:50:10,844
The counselor at his old high school
said he was shocked

1006
00:50:10,927 --> 00:50:12,512
Jeremiah was even applying to college.

1007
00:50:12,595 --> 00:50:14,347
He's an autodidact.

1008
00:50:14,431 --> 00:50:16,232
He's an advanced reader
from the age of eight.

1009
00:50:17,100 --> 00:50:21,146
Leonardo da Vinci was an autodidact.
So was Benjamin Franklin.

1010
00:50:22,230 --> 00:50:25,108
Oh, did this Balakian kid
discover electricity or paint the <i>Mona Lisa?</i>

1011
00:50:25,191 --> 00:50:26,631
I must have missed that in his file.

1012
00:50:27,068 --> 00:50:28,486
He's a great kid.

1013
00:50:28,528 --> 00:50:30,030
Portia, dear,

1014
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:32,032
take a deep breath.

1015
00:50:32,407 --> 00:50:33,575
Teamwork, remember?

1016
00:50:33,658 --> 00:50:34,784
Of course.

1017
00:50:34,909 --> 00:50:36,995
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

1018
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:38,955
I forgot you're in a very fragile state.

1019
00:50:39,289 --> 00:50:42,292
Maybe you'd like to step outside
and see how fragile I am.

1020
00:50:45,628 --> 00:50:48,006
Only kidding! Only kidding.

1021
00:50:48,048 --> 00:50:51,676
Just a little levity to enhance the teamwork.

1022
00:50:52,761 --> 00:50:55,597
Thank you for your thoughts, Corinne.

1023
00:50:58,683 --> 00:51:00,226
He's never getting in. Never.

1024
00:51:00,310 --> 00:51:02,354
Calm down.
There's something great I want to show you.

1025
00:51:02,395 --> 00:51:04,314
It turns out Jeremiah was
a state champion in...

1026
00:51:04,397 --> 00:51:05,398
In what?

1027
00:51:05,482 --> 00:51:07,067
You know what?
It's better if you see it for yourself.

1028
00:51:07,275 --> 00:51:09,361
He's gonna be doing it
at Nelson's birthday party.

1029
00:51:09,444 --> 00:51:10,612
Shows originality,

1030
00:51:10,695 --> 00:51:12,815
<i>intellectual passion.
Everything the books talk about.</i>

1031
00:51:12,864 --> 00:51:14,324
Oh, state champion! Thank God.

1032
00:51:14,407 --> 00:51:15,408
Excellent.

1033
00:51:15,450 --> 00:51:18,703
<i>So, I'll send you
the address to Nelson's birthday party.</i>

1034
00:51:18,787 --> 00:51:20,246
It's at my parents' house.

1035
00:51:20,372 --> 00:51:21,915
- I'll be there.
- Good.

1036
00:51:24,167 --> 00:51:25,835
- Is she coming to my party?
- Mmm-hmm.

1037
00:51:28,588 --> 00:51:29,839
Why do you like her so much?

1038
00:51:29,964 --> 00:51:32,133
I don't know. She's weird.

1039
00:51:32,258 --> 00:51:33,385
She is indeed.

1040
00:51:33,426 --> 00:51:34,928
Doesn't matter anyway. Right?

1041
00:51:35,011 --> 00:51:36,096
Sure it matters.

1042
00:51:39,724 --> 00:51:42,852
But about this Spanish test.

1043
00:51:42,977 --> 00:51:44,938
This is your third "try harder" in a row.

1044
00:51:45,021 --> 00:51:47,232
<i>Se帽ora </i> Garcia says you have
an aptitude for languages.

1045
00:51:47,399 --> 00:51:48,566
What if I don't?

1046
00:51:49,693 --> 00:51:52,112
What if I don't have
an aptitude for languages?

1047
00:51:52,278 --> 00:51:54,114
What if I'm not a genius like Jeremiah?

1048
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,950
I don't want you to be a genius,
I'm not a genius,

1049
00:51:56,991 --> 00:51:58,660
but I want you to be able
to get by in the world.

1050
00:51:58,743 --> 00:52:00,412
- Whatever.<i>
- En espa帽ol.</i>

1051
00:52:00,453 --> 00:52:02,580
Whatever! I have class.

1052
00:52:04,791 --> 00:52:07,627
Even Beckett emerged from Gogol's <i>Overcoat.</i>

1053
00:52:07,794 --> 00:52:09,462
Not to mention Pinter...

1054
00:52:09,546 --> 00:52:10,922
- Professor Polokov.
- Yes.

1055
00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:13,049
- Portia Nathan.
- Yes, the sad lady.

1056
00:52:13,216 --> 00:52:15,135
The sad lady?
That's not really how I think of myself.

1057
00:52:15,218 --> 00:52:16,469
How is your mother?

1058
00:52:16,553 --> 00:52:17,804
She's fine.

1059
00:52:18,263 --> 00:52:20,306
So, I wonder, would you consider

1060
00:52:20,348 --> 00:52:23,476
conducting some supplementary
admissions interviews?

1061
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,478
A scholar of your stature would carry

1062
00:52:25,562 --> 00:52:27,480
a huge amount of weight with the committee.

1063
00:52:27,522 --> 00:52:30,650
In fact, there is one
extremely unusual applicant

1064
00:52:30,734 --> 00:52:33,361
who's shown a strong interest
in literature and philosophy.

1065
00:52:33,445 --> 00:52:36,364
Why would I want to speak
with a high school student?

1066
00:52:36,489 --> 00:52:40,160
Of course, perhaps
we could make some sort of arrangement.

1067
00:52:40,702 --> 00:52:42,495
I can't believe
you're pimping me.

1068
00:52:42,537 --> 00:52:45,665
I'm not pimping you.
He's a fan of your writing.

1069
00:52:45,749 --> 00:52:48,001
And I need him to meet this applicant.

1070
00:52:48,084 --> 00:52:50,295
Besides, when's the last time
you went to a party?

1071
00:52:50,337 --> 00:52:52,422
With racist jockey statues? Never.

1072
00:52:52,547 --> 00:52:53,757
Yeah, those are pretty weird.

1073
00:53:00,347 --> 00:53:02,265
Hey, Portia! Thanks for coming to my party!

1074
00:53:02,349 --> 00:53:03,725
Hi, Nelson, happy birthday!

1075
00:53:04,726 --> 00:53:06,561
Hey! I'm glad you could make it.

1076
00:53:06,853 --> 00:53:08,438
So, this is your parents' place?

1077
00:53:09,022 --> 00:53:11,608
Hmm. Yeah. Well, my mom's now.

1078
00:53:11,691 --> 00:53:13,777
My dad passed away a few months ago.

1079
00:53:14,027 --> 00:53:15,445
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No.

1080
00:53:16,780 --> 00:53:18,365
It's nice to see you again.

1081
00:53:18,406 --> 00:53:19,949
You're not packing heat
by any chance, are you?

1082
00:53:20,075 --> 00:53:21,284
Should I be?

1083
00:53:21,368 --> 00:53:22,619
No, we're all friendlies.

1084
00:53:23,203 --> 00:53:24,287
So, what is this?

1085
00:53:24,537 --> 00:53:27,665
That is a fossil from the Jurassic era.

1086
00:53:27,707 --> 00:53:30,877
It's been in the same place
for 150 million years.

1087
00:53:30,919 --> 00:53:32,003
Oh, cool!

1088
00:53:32,045 --> 00:53:34,047
Welcome, welcome, welcome.

1089
00:53:34,089 --> 00:53:35,465
Mom, I would like you to meet...

1090
00:53:35,548 --> 00:53:37,676
I'm Johnny's mother, Mrs. Pressman.

1091
00:53:37,717 --> 00:53:38,843
Are you Johnny's girlfriend?

1092
00:53:38,968 --> 00:53:43,056
Ah, no. No, we are friends.
Just friendly acquaintances. Portia Nathan.

1093
00:53:43,390 --> 00:53:45,350
Of course. What am I thinking?

1094
00:53:45,392 --> 00:53:50,897
He can't love anything
that's less than a 10-hour flight from JFK.

1095
00:53:51,064 --> 00:53:52,744
Maybe we don't have to go. Right, Grandma?

1096
00:53:52,816 --> 00:53:53,817
Nelson.

1097
00:53:53,900 --> 00:53:55,568
You're absolutely right, Nelson.

1098
00:53:55,735 --> 00:53:59,906
There's nothing wrong
with staying in the same place for a while.

1099
00:54:00,073 --> 00:54:03,034
Ask Portia.
She's been in the same job for 16 years!

1100
00:54:03,076 --> 00:54:04,744
Yeah. And it's a travesty, Nelson.

1101
00:54:04,786 --> 00:54:06,746
Portia was president of her high school class.

1102
00:54:07,330 --> 00:54:09,207
- Mom.
- And she resigned in protest over

1103
00:54:09,249 --> 00:54:11,334
funding for the girls' sports program.

1104
00:54:11,418 --> 00:54:13,920
She led a school-wide walkout.

1105
00:54:14,045 --> 00:54:15,422
And the relevance of all this is?

1106
00:54:15,547 --> 00:54:19,843
When you were nine months old,
you could walk.

1107
00:54:20,093 --> 00:54:21,219
She actually walked.

1108
00:54:21,636 --> 00:54:25,265
I don't mean just stumble walking
like an infant or a toddler.

1109
00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:27,475
She walked with absolute certainty.

1110
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,936
One day I saw her tumble
over her shoelaces, John,

1111
00:54:30,061 --> 00:54:32,355
she did not cry, she didn't fall down,

1112
00:54:32,439 --> 00:54:36,693
she sat down, carefully,
tied her shoelaces in a double knot...

1113
00:54:36,776 --> 00:54:38,820
got up and kept going.

1114
00:54:38,987 --> 00:54:40,280
At nine months old.

1115
00:54:40,447 --> 00:54:42,008
There are a lot of holes in that story.

1116
00:54:42,032 --> 00:54:45,493
You were fearless. You were born an Amazon.

1117
00:54:45,618 --> 00:54:47,120
That's amazing. I love it!

1118
00:54:47,162 --> 00:54:49,414
And what makes you think
she needs your approval?

1119
00:54:49,497 --> 00:54:51,958
Okay, that's enough crazytown.

1120
00:54:52,167 --> 00:54:53,543
When Johnny got admitted to Harvard Law...

1121
00:54:53,626 --> 00:54:54,961
Oh, God.

1122
00:54:55,086 --> 00:54:58,256
He decided to go
and live in Outer Mongolia instead.

1123
00:54:58,548 --> 00:55:00,550
- Outer Mongolia?
- You know what, Portia,

1124
00:55:00,633 --> 00:55:02,260
I'm with you, enough crazytown.

1125
00:55:02,427 --> 00:55:05,013
Have another vat of gin there, Mom.

1126
00:55:05,764 --> 00:55:08,475
Ms. Nathan, Vladimir Polokov.

1127
00:55:15,148 --> 00:55:17,984
You are just as beautiful today
as you were 30 years ago.

1128
00:55:18,109 --> 00:55:19,944
I just had a mastectomy.

1129
00:55:19,986 --> 00:55:21,946
I was just translated into Finnish.

1130
00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:26,117
Brilliant.

1131
00:55:26,993 --> 00:55:28,661
May I get you some iced tea?

1132
00:55:28,703 --> 00:55:30,580
Or something stronger, perhaps?

1133
00:55:30,747 --> 00:55:33,083
Why not. I'll stroll with you.

1134
00:55:33,291 --> 00:55:35,335
I'd love to. It would be a pleasure.

1135
00:55:36,252 --> 00:55:41,007
It was a pleasure.
Your lawn jockeys are just outstanding.

1136
00:55:41,174 --> 00:55:42,175
Aren't they fun?

1137
00:55:45,804 --> 00:55:50,266
And now, with a special performance
for Nelson on his big day...

1138
00:55:53,853 --> 00:55:56,690
performing the act that
won him honorable mention

1139
00:55:56,773 --> 00:56:00,193
at the New Hampshire state championships,
put your hands together,

1140
00:56:01,986 --> 00:56:04,698
put your hands together,

1141
00:56:04,781 --> 00:56:06,533
for Jeremiah Balakian!

1142
00:56:11,496 --> 00:56:13,832
I want to dedicate this performance to Nelson.

1143
00:56:14,374 --> 00:56:15,875
Happy birthday, pal.

1144
00:56:17,711 --> 00:56:19,713
Honorable mention?
I thought you said he won.

1145
00:56:19,796 --> 00:56:21,006
He was robbed.

1146
00:56:21,089 --> 00:56:23,967
This is my other friend, Ren茅 Descartes.

1147
00:56:24,592 --> 00:56:25,719
Say, hello, Ren茅.

1148
00:56:25,844 --> 00:56:26,970
Hello, Ren茅.

1149
00:56:28,263 --> 00:56:29,597
How are you, Ren茅?

1150
00:56:30,849 --> 00:56:35,145
I think, therefore I am.

1151
00:56:37,564 --> 00:56:39,858
Did you say you're pink,
therefore you're ham?

1152
00:56:40,608 --> 00:56:43,278
Do you have any advice
for a young man, Ren茅?

1153
00:56:43,403 --> 00:56:50,035
Whatever you do,
don't put the horse before Descartes.

1154
00:56:54,164 --> 00:56:58,209
Hey, do you guys want to
see Descartes philosophize backwards?

1155
00:56:58,918 --> 00:57:01,755
I think, therefore I am.

1156
00:57:01,838 --> 00:57:03,006
Oh, God.

1157
00:57:03,757 --> 00:57:05,050
That's terrible.

1158
00:57:10,722 --> 00:57:12,140
What was that?

1159
00:57:12,223 --> 00:57:13,933
Come on, that showed originality, depth.

1160
00:57:13,975 --> 00:57:15,268
Are you kidding me?

1161
00:57:15,310 --> 00:57:16,478
Here, from the Island of Misfit Toys,

1162
00:57:16,561 --> 00:57:17,937
we bring you Jeremiah Balakian!

1163
00:57:18,063 --> 00:57:19,105
Are those birds?

1164
00:57:19,189 --> 00:57:20,398
Those are doves.

1165
00:57:20,523 --> 00:57:21,608
For the party?

1166
00:57:21,649 --> 00:57:23,985
No. You know, my mom has a dove room.

1167
00:57:25,195 --> 00:57:27,447
Uh, by the way,
I know that wasn't a perfect showcase,

1168
00:57:27,530 --> 00:57:28,948
but he can't pretend to be somebody he's not.

1169
00:57:29,115 --> 00:57:31,201
Yes, he can. You should try it sometimes.

1170
00:57:31,284 --> 00:57:33,286
It's how humans behave here on planet Earth!

1171
00:57:33,453 --> 00:57:35,163
I know how humans behave on planet Earth

1172
00:57:35,288 --> 00:57:37,248
because I've actually
lived a few places on planet Earth.

1173
00:57:37,332 --> 00:57:39,417
Wait! God. Here, help me.

1174
00:57:39,542 --> 00:57:40,543
Aren't you ready yet?

1175
00:57:40,627 --> 00:57:41,670
I'm lighting them as fast as I can!

1176
00:57:41,836 --> 00:57:44,631
Hurry up! Do you like the cake?

1177
00:57:44,756 --> 00:57:45,924
It's very patriotic!

1178
00:57:45,965 --> 00:57:47,342
Nelson's idea.

1179
00:57:48,301 --> 00:57:50,637
Ow, how many frigging candles
are on this cake?

1180
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,306
Oh, fifty. You know, it was my mom's idea.

1181
00:57:53,348 --> 00:57:55,642
Polokov was looking at Jeremiah
like he had two heads!

1182
00:57:55,725 --> 00:57:57,143
Well, that's his problem, isn't it?

1183
00:57:57,310 --> 00:57:58,645
Look, I want Jeremiah to go to Princeton,

1184
00:57:58,770 --> 00:58:00,438
because he wants to go to Princeton,

1185
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,120
and I actually think he'd do great there,

1186
00:58:02,148 --> 00:58:03,274
but if he doesn't get into Princeton,

1187
00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:04,401
if he gets into another school,

1188
00:58:04,484 --> 00:58:06,736
well, that's fine, too,
because where you went to school,

1189
00:58:06,820 --> 00:58:09,380
and what your background is,
that is just a box, and I reject it.

1190
00:58:09,406 --> 00:58:12,325
I reject being put into a box, okay?

1191
00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:21,167
- Hi.
- Hi, Mom.

1192
00:58:21,209 --> 00:58:22,752
- How did it go?
- It was good.

1193
00:58:30,427 --> 00:58:33,763
Mr. and Mrs. Balakian? I'm Portia Nathan.

1194
00:58:33,888 --> 00:58:35,890
- Oh.
- I want to say thank you so much

1195
00:58:35,974 --> 00:58:38,268
for everything
that you have done for this boy.

1196
00:58:38,852 --> 00:58:40,520
You're wonderful people.

1197
00:58:43,815 --> 00:58:45,233
Uh, she's from Princeton.

1198
00:58:45,316 --> 00:58:46,526
Oh!

1199
00:58:46,609 --> 00:58:48,278
Well, you're welcome.

1200
00:58:48,361 --> 00:58:49,571
I love you.

1201
00:58:50,321 --> 00:58:51,322
Okay.

1202
00:58:51,364 --> 00:58:53,033
Uh, bye.

1203
00:59:03,543 --> 00:59:04,544
Portia.

1204
00:59:04,669 --> 00:59:05,837
What are you doing here?

1205
00:59:05,879 --> 00:59:07,213
I want to come live with you.

1206
00:59:07,297 --> 00:59:10,133
Why in God's name
would you want to live with me?

1207
00:59:10,216 --> 00:59:12,427
Because you're a normal, boring adult.

1208
00:59:12,552 --> 00:59:14,804
I bet you'd take me to Chuck E. Cheese!

1209
00:59:14,888 --> 00:59:16,723
What makes you think I'm so boring?

1210
00:59:16,765 --> 00:59:19,225
You just are. It's good!

1211
00:59:19,267 --> 00:59:21,061
At your age, you're supposed to be boring!

1212
00:59:21,186 --> 00:59:22,395
I am the same age as your dad.

1213
00:59:22,437 --> 00:59:23,730
Tell him that!

1214
00:59:23,772 --> 00:59:26,358
<i>- Hello.</i>
- John, it's Portia. I have Nelson.

1215
00:59:26,399 --> 00:59:27,567
<i>- You do?</i>
- He's fine.

1216
00:59:27,650 --> 00:59:28,985
<i>- He is?</i>
- Yes, he's fine.

1217
00:59:29,069 --> 00:59:30,070
<i>Thank goodness.</i>

1218
00:59:38,912 --> 00:59:41,623
Nelson, you know how much
I love this statue, right?

1219
00:59:41,790 --> 00:59:43,083
Yeah.

1220
00:59:43,416 --> 00:59:45,293
You rode a horse three days through.

1221
00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:47,420
Outer Mongolia in the pouring rain,

1222
00:59:47,545 --> 00:59:49,589
living off of mare's milk to bring it back.

1223
00:59:49,631 --> 00:59:50,715
That's right.

1224
00:59:50,965 --> 00:59:52,884
And I've dragged it place to place,

1225
00:59:52,926 --> 00:59:55,303
across the world, ever since I was 22.

1226
00:59:59,349 --> 01:00:02,727
That is nothing,
nothing compared to how much I love you!

1227
01:00:03,103 --> 01:00:05,772
Please don't scare me like that again.

1228
01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:07,732
Why? You do it all the time.

1229
01:00:07,774 --> 01:00:09,109
Hide out in cars?

1230
01:00:09,192 --> 01:00:10,276
Run away!

1231
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:11,861
I'll never run away from you.

1232
01:00:11,945 --> 01:00:15,031
And going across the world
and helping people is not running away.

1233
01:00:15,156 --> 01:00:18,284
I know,
but why can't we ever just do what I want?

1234
01:00:18,910 --> 01:00:21,454
Because you are a kid, I'm an adult,

1235
01:00:21,621 --> 01:00:24,457
what I say in this house goes!

1236
01:00:35,093 --> 01:00:36,803
This parenthood thing.

1237
01:00:38,138 --> 01:00:39,806
Oh, it's a disaster.

1238
01:00:39,973 --> 01:00:41,016
So I hear.

1239
01:00:41,474 --> 01:00:43,393
I'm screwing it up.

1240
01:00:43,643 --> 01:00:45,145
Am I screwing it up?

1241
01:00:45,437 --> 01:00:46,479
You're asking me?

1242
01:00:46,521 --> 01:00:48,841
I don't know, it's just,
Nelson and I have always traveled.

1243
01:00:49,607 --> 01:00:51,651
I wanted to give him the kind of life
I didn't have as a kid.

1244
01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:53,445
I wanted to give him
the opposite of what I had as a kid.

1245
01:00:53,528 --> 01:00:56,156
But, now, all of a sudden
he's turning into my mother.

1246
01:00:56,281 --> 01:00:58,867
He plays bridge. He listens to Lite FM.

1247
01:00:59,284 --> 01:01:01,119
He asked for a blue blazer with gold buttons

1248
01:01:01,161 --> 01:01:03,204
and anchors on them for Christmas.

1249
01:01:03,705 --> 01:01:05,081
Does your mom wear blue blazers?

1250
01:01:05,290 --> 01:01:06,666
No, that was my father.

1251
01:01:07,167 --> 01:01:08,585
How is it possible?

1252
01:01:09,502 --> 01:01:10,628
What am I doing wrong?

1253
01:01:11,379 --> 01:01:12,422
At least you're trying.

1254
01:01:13,423 --> 01:01:15,423
I mean, there's so many
different kinds of parents.

1255
01:01:16,301 --> 01:01:18,678
There's no one best way to do it.

1256
01:01:19,512 --> 01:01:23,850
Or so I've gathered with my vast
experience reading personal essays.

1257
01:01:26,227 --> 01:01:29,856
Speaking of which,
I have 15 essays to get through tonight. So...

1258
01:01:29,981 --> 01:01:32,609
Right. Yeah.

1259
01:01:34,235 --> 01:01:37,364
Well, thank you for bringing him back.

1260
01:01:37,405 --> 01:01:38,782
Of course.

1261
01:01:41,034 --> 01:01:42,410
So, you really are leaving, aren't you?

1262
01:01:42,535 --> 01:01:44,704
Um, in a month and a half.

1263
01:01:53,213 --> 01:01:54,339
I thought...

1264
01:01:54,381 --> 01:01:56,549
Let's just not think for a while.

1265
01:01:58,176 --> 01:01:59,386
Great.

1266
01:02:32,002 --> 01:02:33,420
Hey, Portia?

1267
01:02:33,795 --> 01:02:35,255
Yes.

1268
01:02:35,422 --> 01:02:36,631
Are you going to be my mom?

1269
01:02:37,507 --> 01:02:39,384
What? No.

1270
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:41,800
I'm just messing with you.

1271
01:02:43,096 --> 01:02:44,389
Right. Go back to sleep.

1272
01:02:45,807 --> 01:02:47,287
Guess you're not so boring after all.

1273
01:03:05,952 --> 01:03:07,537
- Good morning.
- Hi.

1274
01:03:07,620 --> 01:03:09,748
Did you stay over?

1275
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:11,124
Too long of a drive back to campus?

1276
01:03:11,207 --> 01:03:12,459
- I slept on the sofa.
- Ah.

1277
01:03:13,918 --> 01:03:15,295
So did your mother.

1278
01:03:15,962 --> 01:03:18,256
We did not make it all the way to the bedroom.

1279
01:03:18,298 --> 01:03:19,382
I didn't need to know that.

1280
01:03:19,466 --> 01:03:20,467
Interesting.

1281
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:21,885
Unique, I would say.

1282
01:03:22,302 --> 01:03:23,845
Oh, really, that's enough information.

1283
01:03:23,970 --> 01:03:25,221
The boy. Jeremiah.

1284
01:03:25,847 --> 01:03:30,018
- Oh.
- The ventriloquism, weird. I liked it.

1285
01:03:30,727 --> 01:03:31,927
I will write a recommendation.

1286
01:03:31,936 --> 01:03:32,979
Thank you!

1287
01:03:33,313 --> 01:03:34,731
Thank you, sad lady!

1288
01:04:00,507 --> 01:04:01,758
Mom?

1289
01:04:02,092 --> 01:04:03,093
Mom?

1290
01:04:06,805 --> 01:04:08,390
What are you doing here?

1291
01:04:10,975 --> 01:04:13,353
I wanted to tell you something.

1292
01:04:13,561 --> 01:04:15,980
I know, you slept with that guy, didn't you?

1293
01:04:17,065 --> 01:04:18,191
I did.

1294
01:04:18,316 --> 01:04:20,193
Then we both got lucky.

1295
01:04:21,486 --> 01:04:23,196
Yeah. He's leaving.

1296
01:04:24,864 --> 01:04:26,700
It's okay. It's good.

1297
01:04:27,617 --> 01:04:31,579
It is good. You don't need
any commitments right now. It's perfect.

1298
01:04:33,248 --> 01:04:34,249
No.

1299
01:04:34,332 --> 01:04:35,709
Honey, I'm exhausted.

1300
01:04:37,043 --> 01:04:40,547
That old Russian guy, uh, gave me a workout.

1301
01:04:43,299 --> 01:04:47,220
Just take a nap. Just for a bit.

1302
01:04:49,764 --> 01:04:51,891
Actually, I gotta hit the road.

1303
01:05:51,868 --> 01:05:53,078
Next victim!

1304
01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:55,330
Good luck with the fencing finals, Sebastian.

1305
01:05:56,206 --> 01:05:58,124
It's a pleasure to meet you.

1306
01:05:58,208 --> 01:05:59,709
Thank you so much.

1307
01:06:00,543 --> 01:06:02,295
- Hi there!
- Hi.

1308
01:06:05,340 --> 01:06:07,342
This is Jeremiah Balakian.

1309
01:06:07,425 --> 01:06:09,344
Good to meet you. Are you Mr. Balakian?

1310
01:06:09,427 --> 01:06:11,513
No, his parents couldn't make it,
I'm his teacher.

1311
01:06:11,971 --> 01:06:13,171
Yeah, you look like a teacher.

1312
01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:16,726
You might want to tuck that in, son.

1313
01:06:16,810 --> 01:06:19,020
So, Jeremiah, why don't you
come in my torture chamber,

1314
01:06:19,104 --> 01:06:20,271
we'll have a chat and you can tell me

1315
01:06:20,313 --> 01:06:21,481
why you want to go to Princeton.

1316
01:06:21,523 --> 01:06:25,443
I rowed crew, class of '81,
a lot's changed since then!

1317
01:06:27,153 --> 01:06:30,073
Hey! This kid, he's terrific.

1318
01:06:30,198 --> 01:06:31,700
Yeah, great.

1319
01:06:32,325 --> 01:06:34,494
No, I mean, he's authentic.

1320
01:06:34,786 --> 01:06:35,995
He doesn't want to just go to Princeton

1321
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,539
to meet future business partners.

1322
01:06:38,498 --> 01:06:40,583
He loves learning for the sake of learning.

1323
01:06:41,501 --> 01:06:43,670
That's what it's about, isn't it?

1324
01:06:45,922 --> 01:06:47,132
Right.

1325
01:06:48,008 --> 01:06:50,218
Why don't you
go get yourself a cup of coffee?

1326
01:06:50,343 --> 01:06:51,928
Yeah. Great. Thanks.

1327
01:06:53,763 --> 01:06:54,806
Prick.

1328
01:06:54,848 --> 01:06:56,182
- Excuse me?
- Hmm.

1329
01:06:58,852 --> 01:07:01,563
I just called you a prick. I'm sorry.

1330
01:07:03,023 --> 01:07:05,734
Don't take it out on him. That's my own thing.

1331
01:07:09,029 --> 01:07:10,196
That's not very nice.

1332
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:11,865
I know.

1333
01:07:13,241 --> 01:07:15,702
So, Jeremiah, tell me about yourself.

1334
01:07:18,455 --> 01:07:22,375
Uh, myself, as in...
You mean in relation to my soul?

1335
01:07:22,417 --> 01:07:23,835
Or do you mean myself, like,

1336
01:07:23,877 --> 01:07:26,254
as a unified person, like,
the source of consciousness,

1337
01:07:26,338 --> 01:07:29,841
or do you mean myself, like...
Like as a narrative center of gravity?

1338
01:07:31,509 --> 01:07:32,510
How bad was it?

1339
01:07:32,552 --> 01:07:34,888
I'm not supposed
to discuss alumni recommendations.

1340
01:07:34,971 --> 01:07:36,306
<i>It was that bad?</i>

1341
01:07:36,389 --> 01:07:37,557
Well, can we get him
a second alumni interview?

1342
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,641
I'm afraid not.

1343
01:07:39,267 --> 01:07:40,727
<i>Tomorrow,
the committee meetings begin, and...</i>

1344
01:07:40,810 --> 01:07:42,854
Look, I gotta go home and get some sleep.

1345
01:07:42,896 --> 01:07:44,522
<i>It's the last chance
I'm gonna have for three weeks.</i>

1346
01:07:44,564 --> 01:07:46,691
Your meetings last three weeks?

1347
01:07:46,733 --> 01:07:48,360
- I have to go.
- Right.

1348
01:07:48,485 --> 01:07:49,569
Bye.

1349
01:08:12,258 --> 01:08:14,094
I have spoken to the Judo Association,

1350
01:08:14,135 --> 01:08:17,430
and they have no record
of his national championship.

1351
01:08:19,557 --> 01:08:21,601
Thank you. Goodbye.

1352
01:08:26,773 --> 01:08:28,358
I just want to say thank you.

1353
01:08:29,234 --> 01:08:32,696
I've tried to put on a brave front about...

1354
01:08:35,615 --> 01:08:37,409
I can't even say his name.

1355
01:08:37,951 --> 01:08:39,077
- Mark.
- Yes, him.

1356
01:08:39,536 --> 01:08:40,954
And honestly,

1357
01:08:41,621 --> 01:08:43,373
you're the only person who's really been

1358
01:08:43,456 --> 01:08:46,459
so sensitive to what I'm going through,

1359
01:08:46,543 --> 01:08:48,712
and I appreciate it so much.

1360
01:08:50,130 --> 01:08:52,048
Men can be such pigs.

1361
01:08:52,799 --> 01:08:54,592
People are all pigs.

1362
01:08:55,427 --> 01:08:58,638
Uh, okay, yes. I'm with you on that.

1363
01:09:05,478 --> 01:09:06,479
Oh, no.

1364
01:09:08,148 --> 01:09:11,276
- Oh!
- Maybe we can declare a truce,

1365
01:09:11,317 --> 01:09:13,987
because we women have to stick together

1366
01:09:14,070 --> 01:09:17,991
in this man-eat-woman, dog-eat-bitch world.

1367
01:09:19,284 --> 01:09:20,827
Sisterhood.

1368
01:09:23,079 --> 01:09:24,748
You are so right.

1369
01:09:29,544 --> 01:09:30,837
- Good.
- Yeah.

1370
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:37,469
Friends, today, we begin the process of

1371
01:09:37,510 --> 01:09:42,182
choosing the most remarkable
freshman class in Princeton history.

1372
01:09:44,351 --> 01:09:49,189
Here is
the order of territories chosen randomly.

1373
01:09:50,440 --> 01:09:52,942
We begin with the West.

1374
01:09:54,110 --> 01:09:55,695
Ladies and gentlemen.

1375
01:09:56,071 --> 01:09:57,655
Corinne, are you ready?

1376
01:09:57,697 --> 01:09:58,990
Yes.

1377
01:10:00,700 --> 01:10:02,202
Yulia Karasov.

1378
01:10:02,911 --> 01:10:07,499
Class rank two of 450,
magnet school in a suburb of San Diego.

1379
01:10:08,333 --> 01:10:10,710
Her family emigrated from Russia
10 years ago.

1380
01:10:10,752 --> 01:10:12,420
She's captain of the cross-country team,

1381
01:10:12,504 --> 01:10:14,214
sports editor of the school paper.

1382
01:10:14,881 --> 01:10:18,802
Math, 760. Critical Reading, 710. Writing, 740.

1383
01:10:19,094 --> 01:10:22,806
But the recs aren't special.
They admire her, but they don't love her.

1384
01:10:24,683 --> 01:10:26,893
Show of hands for acceptance.

1385
01:10:35,443 --> 01:10:37,612
Holy shit. That's the kid that doesn't get in?

1386
01:10:37,946 --> 01:10:40,240
Sylvia Hadlock. Applying from Los Angeles,

1387
01:10:40,281 --> 01:10:42,641
but she's originally
from our beautiful state of New Jersey.

1388
01:10:44,703 --> 01:10:47,247
Wallace Thompson.
2100 combined SAT,

1389
01:10:47,330 --> 01:10:49,165
class treasurer, volunteers for...

1390
01:10:55,422 --> 01:10:56,464
Alice Copley.

1391
01:10:56,923 --> 01:10:58,258
Her dream is to be a prosecutor,

1392
01:10:58,341 --> 01:10:59,926
then serve on the Supreme Court.

1393
01:11:00,510 --> 01:11:04,639
Alice's mother was murdered.
The murderer got off on a technicality.

1394
01:11:05,181 --> 01:11:08,601
Alice would like to retry him
and put him away for life,

1395
01:11:09,519 --> 01:11:11,479
though she would prefer the death penalty.

1396
01:11:12,939 --> 01:11:15,150
Excellent extracurriculars.

1397
01:11:15,233 --> 01:11:19,279
2220 combined SAT. 4.2 GPA.

1398
01:11:19,446 --> 01:11:23,742
I'm a little concerned about
a revenge fantasy fuelling her academics.

1399
01:11:23,783 --> 01:11:26,953
Uh, Portia, you were second reader.
I see you put "Maybe."

1400
01:11:28,872 --> 01:11:30,749
I might have underestimated her passion

1401
01:11:30,790 --> 01:11:34,085
upon first reading, as we all sometimes do.

1402
01:11:34,336 --> 01:11:37,547
I think this girl's
self-knowledge is impressive.

1403
01:11:37,630 --> 01:11:39,341
She's an excellent candidate.

1404
01:11:41,634 --> 01:11:42,761
Vote.

1405
01:11:45,805 --> 01:11:46,806
Oh.

1406
01:11:47,432 --> 01:11:48,641
Very good.

1407
01:11:54,898 --> 01:12:00,111
Dashiel Weld Broward,
fourth-generation legacy.

1408
01:12:01,488 --> 01:12:02,989
4.0.

1409
01:12:03,531 --> 01:12:05,283
Captain of his sailing club.

1410
01:12:05,492 --> 01:12:07,994
He led them to victory three years in a row.

1411
01:12:08,328 --> 01:12:09,496
SATs?

1412
01:12:09,579 --> 01:12:12,332
Uh, 660, 710, 600.

1413
01:12:12,374 --> 01:12:14,374
He's just one of those kids
that doesn't test well.

1414
01:12:14,668 --> 01:12:17,879
But, oh, can he read the wind.

1415
01:12:18,004 --> 01:12:20,006
So what you're saying is that an unusual

1416
01:12:20,090 --> 01:12:22,342
candidate's strengths in some areas

1417
01:12:22,384 --> 01:12:27,681
really do outweigh major,
and I mean major, weakness elsewhere.

1418
01:12:30,266 --> 01:12:31,518
Yes.

1419
01:12:32,268 --> 01:12:34,979
Let's vote then. For acceptance?

1420
01:12:40,527 --> 01:12:42,987
Aput Kunayak from Nome, Alaska.

1421
01:12:43,863 --> 01:12:45,949
Managed to take five AP classes

1422
01:12:46,032 --> 01:12:48,368
while working on his father's reindeer farm

1423
01:12:48,451 --> 01:12:53,665
and starting and
running a shelter for homeless sled dogs.

1424
01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:56,084
Had suffered from ADD, but overcame it

1425
01:12:56,167 --> 01:12:58,461
to become a leader in his high school.

1426
01:12:58,670 --> 01:13:01,339
He'd be the first in his family
to attend college.

1427
01:13:01,381 --> 01:13:04,134
Now, Ben, as you know, we have room

1428
01:13:04,217 --> 01:13:06,886
for very few of these iffy students.

1429
01:13:07,387 --> 01:13:10,056
But then again, we have to
make room for the exceptional, right?

1430
01:13:11,433 --> 01:13:12,434
Let's vote.

1431
01:13:25,572 --> 01:13:28,074
Aput Kunayak.

1432
01:13:31,161 --> 01:13:32,746
Are you gonna give me the file?

1433
01:13:33,663 --> 01:13:38,001
At last, we come to the end, the Northeast.

1434
01:13:38,418 --> 01:13:41,421
Portia, please begin.

1435
01:13:42,505 --> 01:13:43,506
Thank you.

1436
01:13:46,134 --> 01:13:49,095
Richard Guinness, Rye Country Day School,

1437
01:13:49,387 --> 01:13:53,016
state champion
in the 138-pound wrestling class,

1438
01:13:53,183 --> 01:13:56,853
played Rolfe in
the school production of <i>The Sound of Music.</i>

1439
01:13:57,937 --> 01:14:01,107
Chess club, makes an excellent souffl茅.

1440
01:14:01,274 --> 01:14:02,901
Member of the team, but not a leader.

1441
01:14:04,361 --> 01:14:07,447
Backbone of the woodwinds section

1442
01:14:07,530 --> 01:14:09,699
was the highest praise he got.

1443
01:14:09,908 --> 01:14:11,826
He is the kind of student

1444
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:13,787
you could always call upon to help with

1445
01:14:13,912 --> 01:14:15,789
Martin Luther King Day activities.

1446
01:14:16,790 --> 01:14:18,124
Who isn't?

1447
01:14:18,541 --> 01:14:22,462
That's 28 denies in a row.

1448
01:14:23,421 --> 01:14:26,091
Come on, Portia, make us fall in love.

1449
01:14:26,341 --> 01:14:27,676
Okay, let's see.

1450
01:14:30,470 --> 01:14:31,471
Ah.

1451
01:14:33,932 --> 01:14:35,725
Jeremiah Balakian.

1452
01:14:40,230 --> 01:14:42,732
Jeremiah is our first applicant from Quest,

1453
01:14:42,816 --> 01:14:44,734
a new school in New Hampshire.

1454
01:14:45,318 --> 01:14:47,487
Developmental, but academically rigorous.

1455
01:14:48,113 --> 01:14:50,031
Jeremiah is an only child.

1456
01:14:50,115 --> 01:14:52,158
Parents both work at a Stop-N-Go.

1457
01:14:52,325 --> 01:14:54,369
Neither of them attended college.

1458
01:14:54,452 --> 01:14:58,998
The first three years
of his high school life were a disaster.

1459
01:14:59,666 --> 01:15:02,043
If you're wondering
why you are even listening to this,

1460
01:15:02,127 --> 01:15:07,674
Jeremiah is also a self-described
autodidact since the age of eight.

1461
01:15:07,757 --> 01:15:08,842
He is very well-read.

1462
01:15:08,925 --> 01:15:11,886
In fact, he is
the most well-read person I have met.

1463
01:15:11,970 --> 01:15:12,971
Ever.

1464
01:15:13,930 --> 01:15:18,268
And why? For his resume?
To impress someone?

1465
01:15:18,476 --> 01:15:22,814
For the sake of learning,
his passion for knowledge.

1466
01:15:24,315 --> 01:15:25,900
He had no plans to attend college

1467
01:15:25,984 --> 01:15:28,862
until this past fall when he switched to Quest

1468
01:15:28,945 --> 01:15:33,867
and came into contact
with teachers who recognized his potential.

1469
01:15:34,617 --> 01:15:38,788
Last spring,
he took the SATs and eight AP tests.

1470
01:15:39,205 --> 01:15:41,541
Wait, so he took AP classes?

1471
01:15:41,708 --> 01:15:45,378
No AP classes, no SAT prep courses.

1472
01:15:45,462 --> 01:15:48,548
But he got 5's on all eight APs,

1473
01:15:48,590 --> 01:15:53,803
and 790, 780 and 790 on the SATs.

1474
01:15:54,220 --> 01:15:55,305
That's amazing.

1475
01:15:55,388 --> 01:15:56,509
I'm sorry, what did you say?

1476
01:15:56,514 --> 01:15:57,599
That's amazing.

1477
01:15:57,682 --> 01:15:59,893
Amazing! It's amazing. Exactly.

1478
01:16:01,186 --> 01:16:04,397
Do you think he can handle
an intense academic community?

1479
01:16:04,439 --> 01:16:05,690
Thank you. That's a great question.

1480
01:16:05,732 --> 01:16:06,892
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

1481
01:16:06,900 --> 01:16:09,819
The director of his new school says he is

1482
01:16:09,903 --> 01:16:12,280
"idiosyncratic, cerebral,"

1483
01:16:12,364 --> 01:16:14,866
"a true original whose abilities would lift"

1484
01:16:14,908 --> 01:16:17,952
"the level of discourse
in any class he enrolled in."

1485
01:16:18,078 --> 01:16:19,496
You seem passionate about him.

1486
01:16:19,579 --> 01:16:20,914
I am.

1487
01:16:21,247 --> 01:16:25,460
So what was his GPA, I mean, before Quest?

1488
01:16:26,252 --> 01:16:28,546
D+, 1.5.

1489
01:16:28,797 --> 01:16:33,093
He was a lost kid, and then he was found.

1490
01:16:34,844 --> 01:16:38,264
So, Corinne, you were second reader,
I see you wrote "Deny."

1491
01:16:38,807 --> 01:16:40,141
Any second thoughts?

1492
01:16:44,104 --> 01:16:46,481
Well, he is like no other applicant
we have ever considered.

1493
01:16:48,274 --> 01:16:49,859
His alumni interview was not so great.

1494
01:16:50,068 --> 01:16:51,403
That guy sounded like a jerk.

1495
01:16:55,490 --> 01:16:58,493
And he has a positive recommendation from

1496
01:16:58,576 --> 01:17:01,246
no less of a scholar than Vladimir Polokov.

1497
01:17:05,458 --> 01:17:09,629
Okay, maybe from our perspective,
he could have done more,

1498
01:17:09,671 --> 01:17:13,925
made himself more of a resume
and a paper trail,

1499
01:17:14,300 --> 01:17:18,263
but he took himself from nowhere
to where he is today.

1500
01:17:19,139 --> 01:17:20,765
He educated himself,

1501
01:17:20,807 --> 01:17:22,642
purely by instinct,

1502
01:17:23,643 --> 01:17:25,979
not because he wants
to put away his mother's killer.

1503
01:17:27,731 --> 01:17:30,942
He was as isolated
as someone in Nome, Alaska.

1504
01:17:30,984 --> 01:17:32,569
He was alone.

1505
01:17:32,652 --> 01:17:34,070
He was completely alone.

1506
01:17:36,281 --> 01:17:37,699
You know, and maybe
if his parents had been rich,

1507
01:17:37,824 --> 01:17:39,826
he would have been exposed to more.

1508
01:17:41,494 --> 01:17:44,372
We have to make room for these kids.

1509
01:17:51,463 --> 01:17:54,215
We have to make room for kids like these.

1510
01:17:58,094 --> 01:18:00,180
Clarence, you told us
at the beginning of the year

1511
01:18:00,263 --> 01:18:02,557
to find that undiscovered gem.

1512
01:18:04,934 --> 01:18:06,644
I found him.

1513
01:18:13,860 --> 01:18:15,487
Well, let's vote.

1514
01:18:15,528 --> 01:18:17,739
All in favor of admission?

1515
01:18:36,091 --> 01:18:37,759
He also received an honorable mention

1516
01:18:37,842 --> 01:18:40,053
at the state finals of ventriloquism.

1517
01:18:40,261 --> 01:18:41,554
We are in the middle of a vote.

1518
01:18:45,642 --> 01:18:46,726
Brandt?

1519
01:18:49,646 --> 01:18:52,023
I'm sorry, Portia. I just think

1520
01:18:52,065 --> 01:18:54,234
he's got a little too much to overcome.

1521
01:18:55,110 --> 01:18:57,862
I mean, the kid was in Special Ed.

1522
01:18:57,904 --> 01:18:59,406
I know sometimes we

1523
01:18:59,447 --> 01:19:02,367
subconsciously identify
with applicants who remind us of ourselves,

1524
01:19:02,409 --> 01:19:03,952
but, honey, no.

1525
01:19:07,163 --> 01:19:09,791
Okay, then. Deny.

1526
01:19:09,874 --> 01:19:13,086
Wait! Polokov called him inspirational!

1527
01:19:13,128 --> 01:19:15,588
Portia, please, sit down.

1528
01:19:22,971 --> 01:19:24,764
It's too risky.

1529
01:19:26,766 --> 01:19:29,978
He's just not Princeton material.

1530
01:19:31,521 --> 01:19:34,983
I'm actually surprised
that you thought he was.

1531
01:19:46,453 --> 01:19:51,708
Tanisha Jones, Brearley School, Manhattan.

1532
01:19:52,083 --> 01:19:57,088
GPA 4.3, speaks semi-fluent Mandarin.

1533
01:19:57,130 --> 01:19:58,631
<i>Two, three, four.</i>

1534
01:21:05,699 --> 01:21:07,200
Portia Nathan.

1535
01:21:07,283 --> 01:21:09,536
<i>Hey. This is Bob Barrow from Hotchkiss.</i>

1536
01:21:10,370 --> 01:21:13,540
<i>I wanted to talk to you
about one of our applicants.</i>

1537
01:21:13,581 --> 01:21:15,792
All decisions have been made.

1538
01:21:15,875 --> 01:21:17,836
<i>Yes, but I wanted you to know that.</i>

1539
01:21:17,877 --> 01:21:19,546
<i>Jesse Bolton is going to Yale.</i>

1540
01:21:19,629 --> 01:21:21,381
<i>Definitely. He was just in here.</i>

1541
01:21:21,423 --> 01:21:24,551
<i>Even though he's a legacy,
he is definitely going to Yale.</i>

1542
01:21:24,718 --> 01:21:28,054
- Huh.<i>
- So, look, if you accepted him, maybe that</i>

1543
01:21:28,096 --> 01:21:30,390
<i>place can go to another of our students.</i>

1544
01:21:30,473 --> 01:21:33,643
<i>Instead of Jesse just rejecting Princeton.</i>

1545
01:21:33,727 --> 01:21:37,230
Thank you for your call,
but all decisions are absolutely final.

1546
01:21:37,272 --> 01:21:38,732
No changes can be made.

1547
01:21:38,773 --> 01:21:41,276
<i>Uh, yes, but I...</i>

1548
01:23:23,878 --> 01:23:25,797
I'm sorry you feel that way.

1549
01:23:25,839 --> 01:23:28,216
No, there isn't an appeals process.

1550
01:23:28,299 --> 01:23:30,677
How wonderful
Elissa got so many acceptances.

1551
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,430
Harvard and Yale, too?

1552
01:23:33,805 --> 01:23:35,432
Listen, I'd love to talk to you about

1553
01:23:35,515 --> 01:23:37,392
the financial aid package we could offer.

1554
01:23:37,517 --> 01:23:40,645
No, seriously. I'm so happy, too.

1555
01:23:40,687 --> 01:23:42,981
No, you rock. No.

1556
01:23:43,898 --> 01:23:46,693
Yes, I know he is a legacy.
And I certainly understand

1557
01:23:46,735 --> 01:23:48,319
why you would never want to give

1558
01:23:48,361 --> 01:23:50,405
another penny to this university ever again.

1559
01:23:51,698 --> 01:23:53,700
Wow. That is a new one.

1560
01:24:12,344 --> 01:24:13,553
Portia Nathan.

1561
01:24:13,595 --> 01:24:15,595
Hey, I have somebody here
who wants to talk to you.

1562
01:24:16,931 --> 01:24:18,016
I got in.

1563
01:24:18,058 --> 01:24:19,392
Yes, I know.

1564
01:24:19,434 --> 01:24:21,770
This is the best day of my life.

1565
01:24:22,562 --> 01:24:25,482
Best day of your life, huh? Well, that's good.

1566
01:24:25,565 --> 01:24:27,901
Good. That's... I'm very happy.

1567
01:24:30,570 --> 01:24:32,655
<i>Look, we're having
a school dance here tonight.</i>

1568
01:24:32,739 --> 01:24:34,259
I think you should come and celebrate.

1569
01:24:37,410 --> 01:24:40,413
Oh, there you are. Clarence wants to see you.

1570
01:24:40,872 --> 01:24:43,667
Yes, thank you. I've been expecting that.

1571
01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:46,044
I have to go. I'll call you later.

1572
01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:48,588
Have a seat, please.

1573
01:24:59,599 --> 01:25:03,061
So, I had a call.

1574
01:25:03,645 --> 01:25:04,854
Oh, yes?

1575
01:25:05,605 --> 01:25:10,026
From Richard Bolton, class of '81.

1576
01:25:10,777 --> 01:25:12,946
Father of Jesse Bolton.

1577
01:25:13,029 --> 01:25:14,948
Do you recall Jesse Bolton,

1578
01:25:15,031 --> 01:25:17,492
budding journalist,
writes for <i>The Boston Globe?</i>

1579
01:25:17,617 --> 01:25:19,202
- Is this coming back?
- Mmm-hmm.

1580
01:25:19,536 --> 01:25:22,539
I remember Jesse Bolton.
We loved Jesse Bolton.

1581
01:25:22,622 --> 01:25:24,124
We accepted Jesse Bolton.

1582
01:25:24,249 --> 01:25:25,625
And yet...

1583
01:25:25,667 --> 01:25:27,085
Mmm.

1584
01:25:29,546 --> 01:25:31,589
So I asked for the admit list.

1585
01:25:31,631 --> 01:25:35,677
Looked for Bolton, Jesse. No Bolton, Jesse.

1586
01:25:35,760 --> 01:25:38,638
But I did find Balakian, Jeremiah.

1587
01:25:41,182 --> 01:25:45,603
We sent Mr. Balakian
an offer of admission, which he accepted.

1588
01:25:45,645 --> 01:25:47,313
The only thing is, I don't remember

1589
01:25:47,397 --> 01:25:49,399
making him an offer of admission.

1590
01:25:49,691 --> 01:25:53,278
But I do remember your plea that we do so.

1591
01:25:53,611 --> 01:25:57,407
You have exposed
this office and the university

1592
01:25:57,490 --> 01:26:00,201
to a completely undeserved scandal.

1593
01:26:00,285 --> 01:26:02,162
If word of this were ever to get out,

1594
01:26:02,245 --> 01:26:04,956
the damage would be irreparable.

1595
01:26:06,207 --> 01:26:08,209
Well, I won't tell anyone.

1596
01:26:09,419 --> 01:26:11,838
That's right. You won't.

1597
01:26:12,797 --> 01:26:15,300
What you will do is submit your resignation

1598
01:26:15,342 --> 01:26:18,887
and take this week to clear up your affairs,

1599
01:26:19,179 --> 01:26:23,475
and then I don't ever want to
see you in this building again.

1600
01:26:32,525 --> 01:26:33,860
He's going to Yale.

1601
01:26:34,736 --> 01:26:36,321
Jesse Bolton.

1602
01:26:37,072 --> 01:26:39,472
The guidance counselor called me.
We never had a shot at him.

1603
01:26:39,699 --> 01:26:41,242
Yale?

1604
01:26:41,743 --> 01:26:43,370
Well, that's not the point.

1605
01:26:43,453 --> 01:26:45,789
I assume you'll be standing by the offer.

1606
01:26:45,872 --> 01:26:47,707
I don't see how we can rescind it without

1607
01:26:47,791 --> 01:26:49,501
the whole thing blowing up in our faces.

1608
01:26:50,251 --> 01:26:52,128
The whole system would be questioned.

1609
01:26:53,421 --> 01:26:54,881
We wouldn't want that to happen.

1610
01:27:13,858 --> 01:27:15,318
Yeah?

1611
01:27:17,654 --> 01:27:20,073
Oh, hi. Glad you're here.

1612
01:27:21,366 --> 01:27:23,076
I was just coming down to the dance.

1613
01:27:30,250 --> 01:27:31,835
- Um, you okay?
- Yeah. Why?

1614
01:27:31,918 --> 01:27:33,086
You just... You seem kind of intense.

1615
01:27:33,169 --> 01:27:34,212
I'm okay. Are you okay?

1616
01:27:34,254 --> 01:27:35,797
Yeah, I'm great!

1617
01:27:37,382 --> 01:27:39,926
I'm supposed to be chaperoning this dance.

1618
01:27:40,010 --> 01:27:41,803
You're doing a great job.

1619
01:27:59,612 --> 01:28:01,072
You can do this.

1620
01:28:12,834 --> 01:28:13,918
You having fun?

1621
01:28:15,462 --> 01:28:17,380
This is the best day of my life.

1622
01:28:17,714 --> 01:28:20,967
You have no idea
how happy that makes me feel.

1623
01:28:21,051 --> 01:28:23,511
I want so much for you to be happy,

1624
01:28:23,595 --> 01:28:26,806
and for you to have
all the things that you want in life.

1625
01:28:27,390 --> 01:28:28,391
Thanks!

1626
01:28:30,143 --> 01:28:31,644
You know how when you're swinging

1627
01:28:31,728 --> 01:28:33,188
on a rope swing across a stream

1628
01:28:33,271 --> 01:28:35,023
and you're afraid to jump in,
and then you just do?

1629
01:28:35,106 --> 01:28:37,567
No. I'm kind of afraid of heights.

1630
01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:39,861
Me, too.

1631
01:28:40,320 --> 01:28:41,696
You and I have so much in common,

1632
01:28:41,780 --> 01:28:45,617
and it's not as odd as it seems.

1633
01:28:48,912 --> 01:28:51,331
Jeremiah, there's something I want to tell you,

1634
01:28:51,373 --> 01:28:54,626
and it's going to come as quite a shock.

1635
01:28:57,712 --> 01:28:59,172
I am your mother.

1636
01:28:59,756 --> 01:29:00,757
What?

1637
01:29:00,840 --> 01:29:02,008
Your birth mother.

1638
01:29:05,178 --> 01:29:07,347
I've been trying to
figure out the best time to tell you.

1639
01:29:07,389 --> 01:29:09,224
And I know. I was speechless, too.

1640
01:29:09,349 --> 01:29:11,476
No, it's not that. Uh.

1641
01:29:11,518 --> 01:29:13,853
It's just, you're not my birth mother.

1642
01:29:14,104 --> 01:29:17,190
Yes. I am.
And I know this is very sudden and...

1643
01:29:17,232 --> 01:29:18,233
No.

1644
01:29:18,316 --> 01:29:20,110
My birth mother is named Jeanie Shredder.

1645
01:29:20,193 --> 01:29:23,029
And she's a hairdresser from Keene.

1646
01:29:24,030 --> 01:29:28,702
And I met her
and my half-sisters a couple of months ago.

1647
01:29:29,035 --> 01:29:31,037
I put my name in at the adoption agency,
and they contacted me.

1648
01:29:31,121 --> 01:29:33,748
No, no, Jeremiah.

1649
01:29:33,832 --> 01:29:36,084
You were born on Valentine's Day

1650
01:29:36,167 --> 01:29:39,546
at 1:00 p.m. at Blaine General to me.

1651
01:29:40,380 --> 01:29:42,632
No, I was born at 11:00 p.m.

1652
01:29:42,716 --> 01:29:45,385
They said my mom tried like hell
to hold off till the last hour

1653
01:29:45,427 --> 01:29:48,096
so I wouldn't have
some lame Valentine's Day birthday.

1654
01:29:49,180 --> 01:29:50,515
It's a copy. See?

1655
01:29:52,017 --> 01:29:54,394
That's an 11 with one of the ones missing.

1656
01:29:55,395 --> 01:29:57,063
It's faded. You see?

1657
01:30:03,236 --> 01:30:05,877
I never told anybody,
because I didn't want my parents to find out.

1658
01:30:05,905 --> 01:30:08,158
I was worried that it would hurt their feelings.

1659
01:30:08,283 --> 01:30:11,536
And I don't want to hurt them
'cause they're my parents.

1660
01:30:11,578 --> 01:30:12,620
Of course.

1661
01:30:14,039 --> 01:30:15,081
Uh.

1662
01:30:15,123 --> 01:30:17,292
This whole time,
you thought you were my mother?

1663
01:30:17,375 --> 01:30:18,710
Why didn't you tell me?

1664
01:30:18,793 --> 01:30:21,004
I didn't want anything to get in

1665
01:30:21,087 --> 01:30:22,630
the way of you getting into Princeton.

1666
01:30:22,756 --> 01:30:24,257
I'd have to recuse myself and...

1667
01:30:24,341 --> 01:30:26,741
So everything you did was
because you thought I was your son?

1668
01:30:26,885 --> 01:30:29,262
No. I completely believe in you!

1669
01:30:31,431 --> 01:30:34,017
I actually do.

1670
01:30:34,184 --> 01:30:36,019
But you were lying to me the whole time.

1671
01:30:38,605 --> 01:30:40,440
I don't understand.

1672
01:30:41,608 --> 01:30:43,651
I can't tell what's real.

1673
01:30:48,948 --> 01:30:51,284
I don't get it.

1674
01:30:59,959 --> 01:31:01,086
How'd it go?

1675
01:31:01,127 --> 01:31:03,630
- 11:00 p.m., not 1:00 p.m.
- What?

1676
01:31:04,005 --> 01:31:06,675
Stay out of my life! Or what's left of it!

1677
01:31:11,513 --> 01:31:12,514
Hey!

1678
01:31:13,098 --> 01:31:14,349
Hold on!

1679
01:31:16,726 --> 01:31:18,561
Jeanie Shredder. A hairdresser!

1680
01:31:18,645 --> 01:31:20,647
His mother is a hairdresser!

1681
01:31:20,897 --> 01:31:23,942
What? No. No, I read the birth certificate.

1682
01:31:24,401 --> 01:31:27,779
A copy! A faded copy.

1683
01:31:31,408 --> 01:31:33,076
- Look.
- What?

1684
01:31:33,493 --> 01:31:36,413
Eleven! That is supposed to be an 11!

1685
01:31:36,996 --> 01:31:39,666
None of this was true.
This is all a stupid dream.

1686
01:31:39,708 --> 01:31:42,961
This is all in your head!
And I just jumped in like a complete idiot.

1687
01:31:43,003 --> 01:31:46,381
I can fix this, we'll contact adoption services.

1688
01:31:46,464 --> 01:31:51,011
No! Do not fix anything!
I don't want to ever see you again.

1689
01:31:51,594 --> 01:31:55,974
Go be a citizen of the planet.
I am so glad that you are going to Ecuador!

1690
01:31:56,057 --> 01:31:57,392
- Except for one thing.
- What?

1691
01:31:57,475 --> 01:31:59,686
I feel sorry for the Ecuadorians!

1692
01:32:33,511 --> 01:32:36,014
Hi, come on in,
you can help me grind sausage.

1693
01:32:38,350 --> 01:32:40,393
I've got something to say, Susannah.

1694
01:32:40,435 --> 01:32:42,896
Having sex on a train
with a stranger to get pregnant,

1695
01:32:43,021 --> 01:32:45,815
really not so great.
You didn't even ask his name.

1696
01:32:45,982 --> 01:32:48,234
So I will never know who my father is.

1697
01:32:48,318 --> 01:32:50,570
Maybe he's in Paris. Maybe he's in Hoboken.

1698
01:32:50,612 --> 01:32:53,031
Maybe he's President. Obviously not that.

1699
01:32:53,198 --> 01:32:54,199
But I'll never know.

1700
01:32:54,407 --> 01:32:55,927
Because you forgot one important thing

1701
01:32:55,992 --> 01:32:57,410
on your way to self-empowerment.

1702
01:32:57,494 --> 01:32:58,495
Me.

1703
01:32:59,245 --> 01:33:01,331
Why didn't you ask his name?

1704
01:33:01,414 --> 01:33:02,749
Why don't you just shut up?

1705
01:33:02,791 --> 01:33:03,792
No, you shut up.

1706
01:33:05,168 --> 01:33:08,171
I got pregnant and I had a kid back in college

1707
01:33:08,254 --> 01:33:09,964
and I gave him up for adoption.

1708
01:33:10,548 --> 01:33:13,635
I wasn't in the Netherlands,
I was living above an auto repair shop.

1709
01:33:13,760 --> 01:33:15,345
Hiding from you.

1710
01:33:16,179 --> 01:33:18,098
'Cause I can't stand you.

1711
01:33:18,556 --> 01:33:20,809
And that's it. That's all I have to say.

1712
01:33:20,892 --> 01:33:23,520
Except, get some goddamn dog food!

1713
01:33:29,275 --> 01:33:33,822
Wait, Portia! Portia!
Portia, don't leave. Don't leave.

1714
01:33:33,905 --> 01:33:36,199
Portia, wait, wait.

1715
01:33:41,287 --> 01:33:44,207
I didn't ask the name
of the man on the train because,

1716
01:33:46,376 --> 01:33:49,295
actually, I didn't have a grand plan,

1717
01:33:50,088 --> 01:33:51,798
I made all that up.

1718
01:33:53,216 --> 01:33:55,677
It was all an accident.

1719
01:33:56,469 --> 01:34:02,267
A happy accident.
Because it led to you. Baby, it led to you.

1720
01:34:02,350 --> 01:34:05,478
I wished so many times
that I could have told you his name.

1721
01:34:05,603 --> 01:34:08,356
It's one of the disappointments of my life.

1722
01:34:08,440 --> 01:34:10,525
And I'm so sorry.

1723
01:34:14,029 --> 01:34:15,363
Please, come back in.

1724
01:34:17,240 --> 01:34:18,366
Mom, I have to go.

1725
01:34:30,879 --> 01:34:31,963
Dad?

1726
01:35:36,403 --> 01:35:37,404
Ah, my car!

1727
01:35:38,905 --> 01:35:39,906
Really?

1728
01:35:40,156 --> 01:35:41,157
Ow.

1729
01:35:50,875 --> 01:35:52,210
What happened? Are you okay?

1730
01:35:52,419 --> 01:35:54,921
It's a slight fracture. Fender bender.

1731
01:35:55,005 --> 01:35:56,006
It was dumb.

1732
01:36:00,093 --> 01:36:03,263
I'm sorry. I mean about everything.

1733
01:36:03,346 --> 01:36:05,098
I was stupid and selfish.

1734
01:36:05,265 --> 01:36:07,851
A selfish asshole.
And I just wanted to come here

1735
01:36:07,934 --> 01:36:11,187
and tell you that I'm sorry.

1736
01:36:16,359 --> 01:36:17,819
Wait, um, how's Nelson?

1737
01:36:20,280 --> 01:36:21,406
Good. He's good.

1738
01:36:21,448 --> 01:36:22,657
How's his Spanish?

1739
01:36:23,408 --> 01:36:24,409
Terrible.

1740
01:36:25,952 --> 01:36:28,788
Is he ready for Ecuador?

1741
01:36:28,872 --> 01:36:30,040
We're not going to Ecuador.

1742
01:36:30,999 --> 01:36:33,460
- You're not?
- No, I passed on that job.

1743
01:36:33,710 --> 01:36:35,086
Nelson wanted to stay put,

1744
01:36:35,128 --> 01:36:38,757
and, you know, I finally realized that

1745
01:36:39,841 --> 01:36:41,301
I want him to be happy.

1746
01:36:42,135 --> 01:36:46,806
So this decision right now,
I'm gonna let him make it.

1747
01:36:49,309 --> 01:36:50,727
Nelson really likes you.

1748
01:36:51,895 --> 01:36:54,230
Nelson likes me because I'm so boring.

1749
01:36:54,356 --> 01:36:56,232
- You're not boring.
- I'm pretty boring.

1750
01:36:56,358 --> 01:36:57,359
You're not boring.

1751
01:36:58,234 --> 01:36:59,652
I think you're exquisite.

1752
01:37:05,700 --> 01:37:06,740
You wanna go out sometime?

1753
01:37:06,785 --> 01:37:08,036
Yes.

1754
01:37:08,995 --> 01:37:09,996
I mean with me.

1755
01:37:10,038 --> 01:37:11,289
Oh, yes.

1756
01:37:11,581 --> 01:37:13,833
Good, I thought it was important

1757
01:37:13,875 --> 01:37:15,210
to acknowledge that it's maybe...

1758
01:37:15,293 --> 01:37:16,733
- It's good to clarify.
- I think so.

1759
01:37:23,218 --> 01:37:25,345
Portia Nathan?

1760
01:37:27,013 --> 01:37:29,099
So, tell me about yourself.

1761
01:37:30,684 --> 01:37:33,812
I worked in college admissions for 16 years.

1762
01:37:34,562 --> 01:37:40,360
I used to spend my days passing
judgment on young people who were

1763
01:37:40,527 --> 01:37:43,780
way more together than I was at their age.

1764
01:37:44,030 --> 01:37:46,366
I'm figuring out what I want to do next.

1765
01:37:46,449 --> 01:37:49,035
I've been living at my mom's place
for the last two months.

1766
01:37:49,119 --> 01:37:50,599
<i>I thought that would drive me insane,</i>

1767
01:37:50,662 --> 01:37:52,747
but actually we're gonna be throwing

1768
01:37:52,872 --> 01:37:55,542
<i>a graduation party
for a kid who I thought was my son.</i>

1769
01:37:55,709 --> 01:37:56,751
<i>He's a great kid.</i>

1770
01:37:58,712 --> 01:38:01,423
I killed my bonsai tree by over trimming it.

1771
01:38:05,218 --> 01:38:06,594
I got pregnant in college.

1772
01:38:06,678 --> 01:38:10,098
And my boyfriend had already dumped me
for someone else.

1773
01:38:10,181 --> 01:38:13,226
I didn't realize until I was very far along.

1774
01:38:13,393 --> 01:38:17,313
And I didn't think I could be a mother. Ever.

1775
01:38:17,397 --> 01:38:21,317
Portia, did you mean it
when you said I could do this?

1776
01:38:21,901 --> 01:38:23,611
Yes, I meant it.

1777
01:38:25,447 --> 01:38:26,448
Thanks.

1778
01:38:26,531 --> 01:38:27,652
You're gonna do great there.

1779
01:38:28,992 --> 01:38:30,910
My boy, if you are truly outstanding,

1780
01:38:30,952 --> 01:38:33,413
you will probably be kicked out of there
after one term.

1781
01:38:33,496 --> 01:38:34,998
- Cut it out, Vlad.
- Excuse me.

1782
01:38:35,123 --> 01:38:37,709
Don't listen to him.
Have you decided what your major is?

1783
01:38:37,751 --> 01:38:39,461
Philosophy...

1784
01:38:41,004 --> 01:38:42,714
Not philosophy, women's studies.

1785
01:38:42,756 --> 01:38:44,156
You know, that's enough philosophy.

1786
01:38:45,550 --> 01:38:47,010
<i>And if your biological son chooses</i>

1787
01:38:47,093 --> 01:38:48,595
<i>to contact you? How would you feel?</i>

1788
01:38:48,720 --> 01:38:53,058
<i>I would feel nervous,</i>

1789
01:38:54,392 --> 01:38:56,019
but lucky.

1790
01:38:56,102 --> 01:38:57,687
I would feel lucky.

1791
01:38:57,771 --> 01:39:00,857
I would just be grateful to get to know him.

1792
01:39:02,817 --> 01:39:07,697
I over watered it, too, the bonsai,
I just drowned it.

1793
01:39:07,781 --> 01:39:08,990
- It's okay.
- Okay.

1794
01:39:09,240 --> 01:39:10,950
I can't promise anything.

1795
01:39:11,326 --> 01:39:14,204
But we'll contact you if there's any news.

1796
01:39:15,455 --> 01:39:16,456
Okay.

1797
01:39:17,082 --> 01:39:18,458
- Hey.
- Hey.

1798
01:39:19,292 --> 01:39:21,586
It's a thin envelope.

1799
01:39:22,796 --> 01:39:23,877
That doesn't mean anything.

1800
01:39:26,007 --> 01:39:27,008
Open it.

1801
01:39:41,147 --> 01:39:44,234
It says he's not ready to meet me at this time.

1802
01:39:44,943 --> 01:39:47,737
Well, okay.

1803
01:39:49,656 --> 01:39:53,118
Well, then, you're on the wait list.

1804
01:39:55,036 --> 01:39:56,413
That's not so bad.

1805
01:39:56,538 --> 01:39:57,956
No, it's not.

1806
01:40:08,883 --> 01:40:10,844
Hey, Portia, everything okay?

1807
01:40:12,178 --> 01:40:13,179
Yes.

1808
01:40:23,148 --> 01:40:25,692
<i>What's the secret to getting in?</i>

1809
01:40:25,775 --> 01:40:27,444
<i>I can't tell you.</i>