1
00:00:03,961 --> 00:00:05,606
I can't believe we
still haven't told them.

2
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,264
I guess it just was
never the right time.

3
00:00:08,288 --> 00:00:11,166
Well, I guess we're
simply out of time.

4
00:00:13,159 --> 00:00:16,505
- You're on with Schmidt and Cece.
- Ruth's on!

5
00:00:16,529 --> 00:00:18,314
Hey, you're on with Jess
and Nick. I'm patching in

6
00:00:18,338 --> 00:00:19,775
Winston, Aly and Dan Bill.

7
00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:21,343
Are we really
calling him Dan Bill?

8
00:00:21,367 --> 00:00:23,412
It sounds like a weird
town in Connecticut.

9
00:00:23,436 --> 00:00:25,680
It's their child. Their
mistake to make, okay?

10
00:00:25,704 --> 00:00:28,117
Mm. That's a nice touch.

11
00:00:28,141 --> 00:00:29,684
Yeah, good vibe, good vibe.

12
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:31,921
- Hella? - It's Jess and Nick.

13
00:00:31,945 --> 00:00:34,022
I'm patching in
Schmidt, Cece and Ruth.

14
00:00:34,046 --> 00:00:37,122
Cece, Schmidt and Ruth,
you're on with Jess, Nick,

15
00:00:37,146 --> 00:00:38,359
Winston, Aly and Dan Bill.

16
00:00:38,383 --> 00:00:40,194
- Hey, Jess, Nick, Dan Bill...
- Hey, Winston, Dan Bill...

17
00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:41,329
- Winston and Aly.
- Jess and Nick.

18
00:00:41,353 --> 00:00:42,831
Who are these people?

19
00:00:42,855 --> 00:00:44,198
Hey, Schmidt, Cece,
Ruth, Jess and Nick.

20
00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:45,366
Guys, I only have the strength

21
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,001
to say this once.

22
00:00:47,025 --> 00:00:48,703
Here I go.

23
00:00:48,727 --> 00:00:50,704
Oh, God, how do I
put this into words?

24
00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:53,541
Okay, make it quick, 'cause
my phone is at four percent,

25
00:00:53,565 --> 00:00:55,784
and Ruth has turned my
charger into a very sensible belt.

26
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:58,002
Schmidt, just switch your
phone to low battery mode.

27
00:00:58,026 --> 00:00:59,433
It really lengthens
battery life.

28
00:00:59,457 --> 00:01:00,481
How do you do that?
Walk me through it.

29
00:01:00,505 --> 00:01:02,408
- Go to Utilities.
- No, no, Settings. Go to Settings.

30
00:01:02,432 --> 00:01:03,460
Okay, well, I'm-I'm in Settings.

31
00:01:03,484 --> 00:01:05,284
- Guys, please...
- Oh, shoot. Now I'm at three percent.

32
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,907
I have something
important to say!

33
00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,456
And then, uh, open
your Control Center.

34
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,090
- Battery. Select Battery.
- Enough!

35
00:01:10,114 --> 00:01:11,325
- Oh, no, I got it.
- Jess has something really important

36
00:01:11,349 --> 00:01:13,716
to say, so everybody shut up!

37
00:01:15,587 --> 00:01:17,286
Jess, go ahead.

38
00:01:19,017 --> 00:01:21,101
I can't tell you this
over the phone.

39
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,003
Get over here
before it's too late.

40
00:01:23,027 --> 00:01:24,504
She can tell you, she
can tell you. Go ahead.

41
00:01:24,528 --> 00:01:28,741
- Bye.
- Oh! What a waste of... Good job.

42
00:01:28,765 --> 00:01:30,277
- What is it?
- You're getting divorced?

43
00:01:30,301 --> 00:01:31,511
Well, that lasted a month.

44
00:01:31,535 --> 00:01:33,758
What? No! Jess, go ahead.

45
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,984
I hate to be the bearer
of truly terrible news...

46
00:01:37,008 --> 00:01:38,685
Jess, can you please
tell us? I'm so scared.

47
00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:40,687
You should be. This is...

48
00:01:40,711 --> 00:01:43,022
this is life-changing stuff.

49
00:01:43,046 --> 00:01:44,591
Brace yourselves.

50
00:01:44,615 --> 00:01:47,549
Nick and I are...

51
00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:49,918
moving out of the loft.

52
00:01:52,784 --> 00:01:54,568
- That's it? - Okay.

53
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,767
That's what you
called us here for?

54
00:01:55,791 --> 00:01:57,603
Why do you always
think like a character

55
00:01:57,627 --> 00:01:58,947
in The Baby-Sitters Club?

56
00:01:58,971 --> 00:02:01,649
Okay, okay, you guys process
this however you need to.

57
00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:03,542
You're probably wondering
why we would ever move out

58
00:02:03,566 --> 00:02:05,729
- in the first place.
- Yeah, honey, you should've moved out

59
00:02:05,753 --> 00:02:07,113
when the elevator
plunged into the basement

60
00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,479
- and killed the mailman.
- We got an eviction notice.

61
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,617
They're kicking
us out in 24 hours.

62
00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:14,786
Some evil company called Engram
Pattersky Management Group

63
00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:16,287
bought the building.

64
00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:19,958
Yeah, they're kicking us
out on our... "too-tookuses."

65
00:02:19,982 --> 00:02:21,292
You trying to say "tuchases"?

66
00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:22,628
"Tuchaseses."

67
00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:24,229
- "Tuchas"? - "Tookases."

68
00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:27,177
Luckily, Nick and I found
a very nice two-bedroom

69
00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,567
with a lovely reading
nook. That doesn't matter.

70
00:02:29,591 --> 00:02:31,236
The point is, we're
moving out tomorrow,

71
00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,412
and I know how much this
place means to you guys, so...

72
00:02:33,436 --> 00:02:35,973
whatever you're
thinking or feeling,

73
00:02:35,997 --> 00:02:37,746
I want you to get it out.

74
00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:39,388
So whoever wants to go first...

75
00:02:43,177 --> 00:02:45,536
Okay, I don't think you
guys fully heard me.

76
00:02:46,356 --> 00:02:48,950
So I'm gonna say it again.

77
00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:50,543
Nick and I are m...

78
00:02:53,949 --> 00:02:55,325
moving out of the loft.

79
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,493
Okay, if you're
moving out tomorrow,

80
00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:57,828
why have you not packed yet?

81
00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:59,997
Don't packing-shame
us! We're well on our way.

82
00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,751
We got four boxes right there.

83
00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:03,540
I ran out of tape, so
I started using glue.

84
00:03:03,564 --> 00:03:04,435
We'll see how it holds up.

85
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:07,178
Cool. Anyway,
uh, I'm taking off.

86
00:03:07,202 --> 00:03:08,472
Hey, let me know when
you have the housewarming

87
00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:10,340
for your new place.
I'll bring the succulents.

88
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,609
You never brought us
succulents. We love succulents.

89
00:03:12,633 --> 00:03:15,042
Ah, you got me. I don't
know what a succulent is.

90
00:03:15,066 --> 00:03:17,013
I just said that so I can
get the hell out of here.

91
00:03:17,037 --> 00:03:18,448
But I really do got

92
00:03:18,472 --> 00:03:21,184
to get going. It's my
turn to nurse the baby.

93
00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:23,019
- How does he...
- It's a whole thing.

94
00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:25,942
Wow, you guys are in so
much denial. You're so upset

95
00:03:25,966 --> 00:03:27,924
by this news that
you're distracting yourself

96
00:03:27,948 --> 00:03:31,695
with nonsense like-like
succulents and newborn babies.

97
00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:34,777
Uh, we left Ruth with our
neighbor's stepson, Yonk,

98
00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:35,864
so we're gonna go.

99
00:03:35,888 --> 00:03:37,567
Yeah, honey, we're
not in denial, okay?

100
00:03:37,591 --> 00:03:39,569
We've just done everything
we need to do in this loft.

101
00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:41,036
We're ready to say good-bye.

102
00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:43,761
Right. Right. Yeah.

103
00:03:44,561 --> 00:03:47,705
Yeah, Cece, you're right.
You're totally right. You're all...

104
00:03:48,046 --> 00:03:49,745
totally right.

105
00:03:49,769 --> 00:03:51,535
Or are you wrong?!

106
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,339
Nobody leaves until
we celebrate this place!

107
00:03:56,221 --> 00:03:58,053
Okay? So call your
sitters, call your babies,

108
00:03:58,077 --> 00:03:59,989
get all your affairs in order.

109
00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:02,433
I'm gonna go open a
bottle of wine. Pink okay?

110
00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:05,661
Well, I guess I'll call Yonk
and tell him to get cozy.

111
00:04:05,685 --> 00:04:07,762
Ugh, I can hear Yonk now.

112
00:04:07,786 --> 00:04:09,397
"Mr. Schmidt, I got thirsty.

113
00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:11,065
I drank all your coconut water."

114
00:04:11,089 --> 00:04:12,967
Freakin' Yonk.

115
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,936
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

116
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,071
Okay, why are we
hiding in your office?

117
00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:18,906
Because, guys,
look, I love my wife.

118
00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,109
You guys know that I love
my wife. But she's clearly going

119
00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,512
through something about
us leaving the loft. It's like...

120
00:04:23,536 --> 00:04:25,780
it's like she's having a really
hard time getting her mouth

121
00:04:25,804 --> 00:04:27,615
around the sandwich,
do you know what I mean?

122
00:04:27,639 --> 00:04:30,018
If you guys want to get out
of here, which I know you do,

123
00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:32,319
then you will laugh
when she says laugh,

124
00:04:32,343 --> 00:04:34,989
you will cry when she says cry,

125
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,798
and in between,
we're gonna pack.

126
00:04:36,822 --> 00:04:38,526
I really miss the old days
when I would just drop in

127
00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:40,927
every now and then and pick
up a suitcase or something.

128
00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,030
I only have the moving
truck for 24 hours.

129
00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,632
If I go one minute over,

130
00:04:44,656 --> 00:04:47,316
those bastards will charge
me for a whole nother day.

131
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,137
If you get a whole nother day,
might as well get a second week.

132
00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:53,254
You get a second week, you
might as well buy the truck,

133
00:04:53,278 --> 00:04:55,809
'cause you're livin' in it,
Charlie! You live in a mo...

134
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,712
The point I'm trying to make
is we need to pack right now.

135
00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:00,147
I love packing.

136
00:05:00,171 --> 00:05:01,982
You wouldn't believe
how good I am

137
00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:04,985
at fitting multiple
things into small spaces.

138
00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:07,109
I'm a bento box boy.

139
00:05:07,821 --> 00:05:10,288
- What's in that box? - What?

140
00:05:10,312 --> 00:05:12,546
What's the box that
says "gross stuff," man?

141
00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,683
Jessica's underpants.

142
00:05:15,265 --> 00:05:17,063
You have Jess's
panties in a box?

143
00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:20,099
Well, while I'm delighted

144
00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:22,335
that you have a box...

145
00:05:22,359 --> 00:05:25,171
labeled "gross
stuff" of your wife's...

146
00:05:25,195 --> 00:05:27,173
undergarments, uh,

147
00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:30,342
I also feel like you
may be lying to me.

148
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:32,879
Yoo-hoo, guys! Yoo-hoo!

149
00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:35,129
Yoo-frickin'-hoo!

150
00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:37,750
Just remember, if you want
to get out of here, play along.

151
00:05:37,774 --> 00:05:40,108
♪ ♪

152
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,402
Behold!

153
00:05:50,426 --> 00:05:53,031
Objects from your past to
make you remember and...

154
00:05:53,055 --> 00:05:55,051
Oh, God, the chair is
still spinning. Oh, my God.

155
00:05:55,075 --> 00:05:56,535
You guys, I'm on a dolly.

156
00:05:56,559 --> 00:05:58,169
I'm on a greased up
dolly, and I'm holding fire.

157
00:05:58,193 --> 00:05:59,893
Guys, guys, guys, guys...

158
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,474
If we scatter now,
one of us can get out

159
00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:04,297
and bring help for the rest.

160
00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:07,454
Take in the memories.

161
00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:09,837
Let these objects
be the milkshake

162
00:06:09,861 --> 00:06:12,642
that bring your memory
boys to the emotion yard.

163
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,357
- I swore we threw all this stuff away.
- Wow, I can't believe you

164
00:06:14,381 --> 00:06:17,419
- saved all this stuff. How cool is that?
- But we're really happy it's back.

165
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,681
- We're all really happy. Thank you.
- Yeah.

166
00:06:18,705 --> 00:06:20,450
I knew you guys
needed to say good-bye.

167
00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:22,893
Isn't it amazing how easy it is

168
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:25,761
to do the right thing when
you have no other alternative?

169
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,061
Totally.

170
00:06:27,085 --> 00:06:28,799
Like this.

171
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:31,032
Ah, the old loft candy dish.

172
00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:34,629
That's the cast from
when I broke my penis.

173
00:06:34,653 --> 00:06:36,363
Shut up!

174
00:06:36,387 --> 00:06:38,239
You know, most people
wouldn't want to revisit

175
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:40,442
some of the more painful
moments in their lives, but,

176
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,910
you know what, Jess,
thank you for this, 'cause I do.

177
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:45,612
- Thank you.
- Oh, Schmidt, you take that.

178
00:06:45,636 --> 00:06:47,348
You're gonna want it.

179
00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:50,218
Honestly, it's your
penis. You earned it.

180
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,413
- Put it in your purse.
- Excuse me?

181
00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:53,068
- Go put it in your purse.
- I am not putting it in my purse.

182
00:06:53,092 --> 00:06:54,889
- Please, Cece, just put it in your purse.
- I am not gonna go put it...

183
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:56,557
- We'll just leave it here.
- We'll put it right there.

184
00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:57,887
Remember this?

185
00:06:57,911 --> 00:06:59,879
Oh! Looks just like us!

186
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:02,629
- We always pose like that.
- Can we talk about those skin tones?

187
00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:05,366
Oh, Nick, this
one is so special.

188
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,401
- Wow.
- The wand I used to fix the, uh,

189
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:09,255
garbage disposal. That one time.

190
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,146
Did we find the garbage wand

191
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:13,161
or did the garbage wand find us?

192
00:07:13,185 --> 00:07:15,328
I remember the day
I found it. I thought,

193
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,930
"Free stick."

194
00:07:16,954 --> 00:07:18,364
- Ha! - Then I brought it home,

195
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,199
and it fit into the sink hole.

196
00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:21,500
- Mm. - And somewhere along

197
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,869
the way, it fixed my heart hole.

198
00:07:23,893 --> 00:07:26,339
- It fixed your heart hole?
- So, thank you, stick.

199
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,554
- Okay. - I have a tear.

200
00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:29,208
- That about sums it up. - Yeah.

201
00:07:29,232 --> 00:07:30,543
Jess, I will never,

202
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,412
ever forget the night
that you brought us

203
00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:35,247
all together to show us
a bunch of our old trash.

204
00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:36,679
- We should let you pack.
- Okay.

205
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:37,898
- Thank you. - Thank you so...

206
00:07:37,922 --> 00:07:39,217
- No! - Huh?

207
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,670
No one's going anywhere.

208
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,054
We're gonna do all
the things in the loft

209
00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,221
that we haven't done before.

210
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,637
Like what?

211
00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:47,560
I can't believe we've
never all stood out

212
00:07:47,584 --> 00:07:49,061
on the balcony together.

213
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,904
You know who else
liked balconies? Hitler.

214
00:07:51,928 --> 00:07:53,999
Let's go inside.
Let's do more things.

215
00:07:54,023 --> 00:07:56,901
I can't believe you've never
cleaned the oven, Cece.

216
00:07:56,925 --> 00:08:00,672
I think, I think if
we just do this,

217
00:08:00,696 --> 00:08:03,008
and this, and turn
it up real high...

218
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,177
I heard that that could work.

219
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:06,511
Yeah. What else should we do?

220
00:08:06,535 --> 00:08:08,446
We could all just pack
and move Jess and I

221
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:10,748
out of the loft; we've
never done that.

222
00:08:10,772 --> 00:08:12,784
It's a joke. It's a
joke for sentimentals.

223
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:15,222
- It's a sentimental joke.
- Oh. I know.

224
00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:16,287
Th-This is a big one.

225
00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:17,947
You know, I've never
looked around the corner,

226
00:08:17,971 --> 00:08:20,091
in the hallway past the
bathroom. Like, what's over there?

227
00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:21,425
Oh my God, what is over there?

228
00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:22,767
- What is over there? - Yeah.

229
00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:24,884
- Whose team are you on?
- I play for myself.

230
00:08:28,156 --> 00:08:29,800
It's just a wall.

231
00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:33,104
My turn. Cece and I
need to use the urinals.

232
00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:34,593
Follow me.

233
00:08:36,531 --> 00:08:38,309
Oh, n-n-no, no, no, no, no.

234
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,310
You just opened Pantera's box.

235
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,108
We do not have
time for this right now.

236
00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:43,777
We will get in...

237
00:08:52,376 --> 00:08:53,657
Peppermint lotion?

238
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:56,014
It's for your feet.

239
00:08:57,584 --> 00:08:59,162
Yay. I love it.

240
00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:00,630
I knew it!

241
00:09:00,654 --> 00:09:02,732
- Nailed it. - Great gift.

242
00:09:02,756 --> 00:09:03,939
Oh, I'm gonna get
you one every year.

243
00:09:03,963 --> 00:09:05,568
And we're gonna be
best friends forever.

244
00:09:05,592 --> 00:09:06,836
I just met you,
like, a week ago.

245
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:09,472
Uh, just 'cause it
says "peppermint,"

246
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:11,141
non-edible.

247
00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:13,643
I never would have
thought to eat this lotion.

248
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,978
Nicholas, I have been
giving you that lotion

249
00:09:16,002 --> 00:09:18,289
- every year since we met.
- I know.

250
00:09:18,313 --> 00:09:21,150
I wanted you to experience
soft feet for once in your life,

251
00:09:21,174 --> 00:09:24,664
- and you... and you lied to me.
- What did you want me to do?

252
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:27,008
I had just met you when
you first gave it to me.

253
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:29,991
Then you actually gave me the
lotion again the following year.

254
00:09:30,015 --> 00:09:32,661
And the lie got on top of me.
And now I got all these bottles

255
00:09:32,685 --> 00:09:34,496
of lotion and I don't even
know how to do this stuff.

256
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,798
You don't know how
to "do" foot lotion?

257
00:09:36,822 --> 00:09:38,767
What if I put it on
and my feet get...

258
00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:41,336
I don't know, too
wet and creamy?

259
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,005
Has everything been a lie?
Has this whole relationship...?

260
00:09:44,029 --> 00:09:45,707
Don't call it a relationship,
it's a friendship.

261
00:09:45,731 --> 00:09:48,242
Don't belittle what we have
by calling it a friendship.

262
00:09:48,266 --> 00:09:50,442
- No, please.
- Oh, we don't love each other in Chicago.

263
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:51,846
We're just friends.

264
00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:54,182
Please, just get over
this and help me pack.

265
00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:55,784
Sure. You've lied
to me for years,

266
00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:58,019
but let's just ignore it
so I can help you pack

267
00:09:58,043 --> 00:09:59,520
while humoring your wife

268
00:09:59,544 --> 00:10:01,478
- pretending to care. - What?

269
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:04,959
You guys were humoring me?

270
00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:08,062
Nick, you told everyone
to pretend to care?

271
00:10:08,086 --> 00:10:10,931
Jess, it's not about
that. It's about the truck.

272
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:13,033
I didn't want to go a
minute over the 24 hours,

273
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,103
because then I, you know, I
need to pay for a second day.

274
00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:16,770
Jess.

275
00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:19,039
Wait, Jess. I'm sorry.

276
00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:22,375
You guys were just
playing along with this?

277
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:25,746
I thought you were just
starting to feel something.

278
00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:29,920
Wait. Am I the one who's in
denial about leaving this place?

279
00:10:29,944 --> 00:10:32,753
Ugh, you sweet,
goblin-eyed dum-dum.

280
00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:33,887
Babe, I think the rest of us

281
00:10:33,911 --> 00:10:36,055
have already made
peace with this.

282
00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:37,824
No, I get it.

283
00:10:37,848 --> 00:10:39,559
I'm not mad. I just...

284
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:42,061
People live together in
apartments all the time.

285
00:10:42,085 --> 00:10:44,564
And you guys
have lives and kids.

286
00:10:44,588 --> 00:10:47,066
And this is just a place.

287
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:49,769
But to me, this is the
place where I met all of you.

288
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,070
And that's...

289
00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:53,405
that's the best thing that...

290
00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:55,196
that ever happened to me, so...

291
00:10:56,099 --> 00:10:58,199
Consider yourselves freed.

292
00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:01,810
The lock never really
worked, anyway.

293
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,120
Put that down.

294
00:11:08,144 --> 00:11:09,921
We are not going anywhere.

295
00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:12,284
Yeah, we're gonna
say good-bye all day.

296
00:11:12,308 --> 00:11:13,410
All day.

297
00:11:13,434 --> 00:11:14,932
- All day! - What?

298
00:11:14,956 --> 00:11:16,378
- That's not it.
- You don't say it like that.

299
00:11:16,402 --> 00:11:17,932
It's like, all day.

300
00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:19,253
- All... - All day!

301
00:11:19,277 --> 00:11:21,822
Guys, second day

302
00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:25,136
- of a moving truck on me.
- There we go.

303
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,393
- That's a big step.
- Thank you.

304
00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:28,328
But I'm not doing the insurance.
I won't do it. I can't do it.

305
00:11:28,352 --> 00:11:30,066
- It's a rip-off. It's a freakin' rip-off.
- Chill, chill, bro.

306
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,372
♪ Who's that girl? ♪

307
00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:34,067
♪ Who's that girl? ♪

308
00:11:34,091 --> 00:11:37,067
♪ It's your favorite
bitch, Jess ♪

309
00:11:37,091 --> 00:11:39,572
♪ Hang on to your
privates 'cause I'm ♪

310
00:11:39,596 --> 00:11:41,741
♪ On emotional fy-ahh ♪

311
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,279
Don't look so surprised, guys.

312
00:11:46,303 --> 00:11:48,505
You knew what this was.

313
00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,349
Ah, we had some times here

314
00:11:53,373 --> 00:11:55,975
- Mmm.
- I mean this, right here,

315
00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:58,553
right where I'm
sitting, is the exact spot

316
00:11:58,577 --> 00:12:02,603
that I realized: I should
have less salt in my diet.

317
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,884
I should have
less salt in my diet.

318
00:12:05,908 --> 00:12:08,147
That's beautiful, man.
Stay healthy, baby.

319
00:12:08,171 --> 00:12:10,583
- Good memories. - Oh, my God.

320
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:14,220
This is the spot, where, for
the weirdest minute of my life,

321
00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:16,623
I was super
attracted to Winston.

322
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:18,291
- No. - We've all been there.

323
00:12:18,315 --> 00:12:19,692
It was my swimmer's body.

324
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:22,128
Ooh. Ooh, hey.

325
00:12:22,152 --> 00:12:24,529
Yeah, they got me
on bike duty today.

326
00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:26,398
My hammies need to
get into some jammies

327
00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:29,277
because they are rock-hard.

328
00:12:30,808 --> 00:12:32,545
Yes.

329
00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:35,082
Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.

330
00:12:35,106 --> 00:12:38,377
You feel that? You
hear that? Yeah.

331
00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:40,545
- Oh! - No!

332
00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:41,902
Oh, it went away pretty quick.

333
00:12:44,071 --> 00:12:45,871
I tore my anus.

334
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:48,586
I tore my anus. Oh.

335
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:52,122
I was sitting right here when
I first introduced you guys

336
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,292
to my hilarious baby voice.

337
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:58,262
Uh-oh, look who just woke up.

338
00:12:58,286 --> 00:13:01,398
I'm a baby.

339
00:13:01,422 --> 00:13:02,800
I'm a baby

340
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,402
and I need my milkie.
Where's my Ba-ba?

341
00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:07,437
- What are you doing?
- Put that baby away.

342
00:13:07,461 --> 00:13:09,572
Babies can't talk.
It's inherently flawed.

343
00:13:09,596 --> 00:13:11,650
And that's where I met
you for the first time.

344
00:13:11,674 --> 00:13:12,945
- Aw. - I remember you said

345
00:13:12,969 --> 00:13:15,187
that was one of your
top five boners of all time.

346
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,672
Do you remember
you used to rank them?

347
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:19,297
- Be quiet.
- It's just foot lotion.

348
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:25,113
And right over there
is where Cece and I

349
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,582
had our first mess around.

350
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,817
What? Don't tell them.

351
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,218
It's time for the mess around

352
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,019
to become the confess around.

353
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,455
- ♪ Ain't nobody ♪ - ♪ Nobody ♪

354
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,876
- ♪ Loves me better ♪
- ♪ Loves me better ♪

355
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,559
♪ Makes me happy ♪

356
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,662
- ♪ Makes me feel this
way ♪ - ♪ Nobody ♪

357
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,090
- ♪ Ain't nobody
♪ - ♪ Ain't nobody

358
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:43,153
Wait, wait, wait.

359
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:47,793
Is that a paper plate covered
with brown marker to look like floor?

360
00:13:47,817 --> 00:13:48,902
- Yeah. - That's what that is.

361
00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:50,753
- Yeah, yeah. Hmm? - Cece?

362
00:13:50,777 --> 00:13:53,007
If you weren't wearing
those dumb-ass shoes,

363
00:13:53,031 --> 00:13:56,778
and I hadn't just gotten that
new dope Chaka Khan CD-ROM...

364
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,848
- It was dope as hell.
- You would not have become my girl.

365
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,971
- Babe. - Babe. Don't.

366
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,775
- Babe. - Babe. You better stop.

367
00:14:05,288 --> 00:14:08,289
- Babe. Babe. - Mmm. Mm-mmm.

368
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,623
No. I'm not gonna do
it. I'm not gonna cry.

369
00:14:09,647 --> 00:14:11,945
There' no point. Nobody
said nothing about no crying.

370
00:14:11,969 --> 00:14:14,028
- That's not what this is.
- No, no crying.

371
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:17,383
Wait. Where is Nick?

372
00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,533
Clearly, he doesn't
like all of this emotion.

373
00:14:19,557 --> 00:14:21,750
He doesn't have a
heart in that butter tub

374
00:14:21,774 --> 00:14:23,069
he calls a body anyway.

375
00:14:23,093 --> 00:14:26,161
- He doesn't care about spots.
- I'm in here!

376
00:14:30,134 --> 00:14:33,213
You think I don't got
spots? I got spots.

377
00:14:33,237 --> 00:14:35,609
"Have." Have spots.

378
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,284
Sorry. Go, keep go...

379
00:14:37,308 --> 00:14:39,616
This spot right here is where
my best friend Schmidt and I

380
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:40,913
moved a couch in.

381
00:14:40,937 --> 00:14:42,322
That happened in
the living room, Nick.

382
00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:43,823
I know, I just don't
want to get up.

383
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:45,691
You got it? You got it?

384
00:14:45,715 --> 00:14:47,193
I got it. I'm good,
I'm good, I'm cool.

385
00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:48,494
I got it.

386
00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:50,863
Houston, we got an "I got it."

387
00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:54,784
Sheesh.

388
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,136
Sitting pretty
close to each other,

389
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,693
- don't you think? - Oh, sorry.

390
00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,407
Thanks.

391
00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:03,401
Lot of cool stuff's gonna
happen in this loft, huh?

392
00:15:03,425 --> 00:15:04,619
You're telling me, man.

393
00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:06,646
What do you think's gonna
happen here in the next...

394
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:08,080
chunk of our lives?

395
00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:10,204
I don't know. I
meet a nice lady.

396
00:15:10,726 --> 00:15:12,717
She wants to have
a baby with me.

397
00:15:12,741 --> 00:15:13,919
What does she look like?

398
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:15,087
Sexy.

399
00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:16,989
Keep going. Right off the jack.

400
00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:19,035
Just, like, you
know, like, shows up,

401
00:15:19,059 --> 00:15:19,992
but, like, casually.

402
00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:21,058
- You know what I mean? Like...
- Yeah.

403
00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:23,295
Wearing a beanie
and, like, a little hoodie.

404
00:15:23,319 --> 00:15:24,596
You know what I mean?

405
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,380
Like, sort of, like, an
orangish-red hoodie.

406
00:15:32,194 --> 00:15:34,795
Anyway, man, I just
wanted to say, uh...

407
00:15:36,064 --> 00:15:37,342
Oh.

408
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,377
All thanks.

409
00:15:39,401 --> 00:15:40,996
I'm done.

410
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,714
Well, it's just lotion. It
ain't gonna hurt you, now.

411
00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:44,716
Yeah, go ahead.
Slap it in there.

412
00:15:45,874 --> 00:15:48,719
Wow, it's so frickin' creamy.

413
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:49,887
This is what I've
been telling you.

414
00:15:49,911 --> 00:15:52,223
It's really cool.

415
00:15:52,247 --> 00:15:54,703
It actually kind of feels nice.

416
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:57,528
I mean, I got to say,
I really like foot lotion.

417
00:15:57,552 --> 00:15:58,562
Thank you.

418
00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,664
They should make more
foot lotion for your hand.

419
00:16:00,688 --> 00:16:01,799
Foot lotion hand.

420
00:16:01,823 --> 00:16:04,101
Or... foot-lotion hand.

421
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,369
I don't know.

422
00:16:05,393 --> 00:16:06,737
You should use this for elbows.

423
00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:09,373
You should use lotion
for dry parts of your skin.

424
00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:12,676
It's really creamy.

425
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:13,664
For the first time in my life,

426
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:15,713
I realize my feet could
be more than weapons.

427
00:16:15,737 --> 00:16:17,870
I love you, man.

428
00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:20,817
Oh, yeah, that's...

429
00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:22,685
Well, yeah, man. I, uh...

430
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:24,154
Is he gonna finally say it?

431
00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:25,755
Guys, don't-don't put
any pressure on him.

432
00:16:25,779 --> 00:16:27,357
No, what? Dude, you're
not putting pressure on me.

433
00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:28,808
- It's something I want to say.
- You don't have to say it.

434
00:16:28,832 --> 00:16:30,494
I don't need to say
anything. I want to say it.

435
00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:32,497
- You never said it before.
- I love you, man.

436
00:16:32,521 --> 00:16:34,575
- Yes!
- Are you kidding me right now?

437
00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,533
- Go, Nick!
- Are you kidding me?

438
00:16:36,557 --> 00:16:38,200
- I love you, man. We're buddies.
- Yes!

439
00:16:38,224 --> 00:16:39,191
Really?

440
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,207
Oh, my feet are so creamy.

441
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:43,773
You were right.
This is what it means

442
00:16:43,797 --> 00:16:44,941
to have soft feet, buddy.

443
00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:46,709
Well, I feel good.

444
00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:48,845
I'm ready to say good-bye to 4D.

445
00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:50,212
No, not yet.

446
00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,036
W-We've done everything.

447
00:16:53,139 --> 00:16:55,106
There's one more thing.

448
00:16:58,144 --> 00:16:59,922
JFK!

449
00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,212
FDR!

450
00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:04,668
FDR!

451
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,846
- Wait for me. I over-lotioned.
- Okay, for the last time,

452
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:11,514
the game is True American.

453
00:17:11,538 --> 00:17:13,814
- We know the rules.
- We know one rule.

454
00:17:13,838 --> 00:17:15,452
The floor is lava!

455
00:17:15,476 --> 00:17:17,441
Tonight we play the
game with a twist.

456
00:17:17,465 --> 00:17:19,822
It's True American:
Packing Edition.

457
00:17:19,846 --> 00:17:21,824
You land on
something, you pack it.

458
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:24,015
- Shotgun tip-off! - Oh!

459
00:17:25,184 --> 00:17:28,330
54-40 or fight! Whoa!

460
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:31,200
You go, boy!

461
00:17:32,859 --> 00:17:34,870
The middle class
is disappearing!

462
00:17:34,894 --> 00:17:36,738
Mama, where's my pa?

463
00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:39,241
He's in the White
House. Ha, ha, ha!

464
00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:42,277
I know a fine brothel
right to the left. Yah!

465
00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:44,146
Westward ho.

466
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:46,081
We're coming for your gold.

467
00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:48,454
Almost to Utah, Uncle Brother.

468
00:17:48,478 --> 00:17:50,519
I like the look of that ox.

469
00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:53,588
- Nailed it. - Manifest destiny.

470
00:17:59,262 --> 00:18:02,042
- ♪ Remember all the
drives... ♪ - Oh, yeah!

471
00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:03,329
You got to drink
another root beer.

472
00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:05,901
- ♪ To the cloudy mountainsides
♪ - Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

473
00:18:05,925 --> 00:18:09,003
♪ And we'll never
starve to death... ♪

474
00:18:09,027 --> 00:18:11,339
Chug, chug. Ruth,
prohibition has been lifted.

475
00:18:11,363 --> 00:18:12,973
All right. Ready, Moses?

476
00:18:12,997 --> 00:18:14,708
Drink, Moses. Drink,
Moses. Come on!

477
00:18:19,337 --> 00:18:21,082
What are you not understanding?

478
00:18:21,106 --> 00:18:22,683
You're all burning
in lava right now.

479
00:18:22,707 --> 00:18:24,151
Oklahoma Land Grab!

480
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:26,186
Sooners, stake your claim!

481
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,821
Come on!

482
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:31,358
♪ But if I ever feel
the same again ♪

483
00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:33,616
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

484
00:18:35,553 --> 00:18:38,320
♪ Ah, ah, oh... ♪

485
00:18:43,327 --> 00:18:44,737
You ready?

486
00:18:44,761 --> 00:18:45,972
Yeah.

487
00:18:45,996 --> 00:18:47,796
- Let's go. - Let's go.

488
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:51,967
Not my first eviction.

489
00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:54,103
- Won't be my last. - Two, one.

490
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,651
Gotcha!

491
00:19:00,644 --> 00:19:03,422
Prank Sinatra, baby!

492
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,446
What?

493
00:19:05,916 --> 00:19:07,226
I don't get it.

494
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,695
The truck is the prank?

495
00:19:08,719 --> 00:19:10,162
What, did you
pay the rental fee?

496
00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:11,998
Winston, that's just nice.

497
00:19:12,022 --> 00:19:14,300
You didn't have to move.

498
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,133
Yes, we did have
to move, you idiot.

499
00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:17,903
- We got evicted.
- What is he talking about?

500
00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:19,171
I have no idea.

501
00:19:19,195 --> 00:19:21,173
Engram Pattersky.

502
00:19:21,197 --> 00:19:23,008
If you rearrange those letters,

503
00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:25,177
what does it spell?

504
00:19:25,201 --> 00:19:27,012
"My greatest prank."

505
00:19:27,036 --> 00:19:28,380
My greatest prank!

506
00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:29,982
- No. - Are you kidding me?

507
00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:33,752
Wait, are you Engram Pattersky?

508
00:19:33,776 --> 00:19:35,493
Winston, you were in the loft

509
00:19:35,517 --> 00:19:38,499
when all of the notices
slid under the door.

510
00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:40,089
I had some help.

511
00:19:40,716 --> 00:19:43,161
Thanks for the wedding invite.

512
00:19:43,185 --> 00:19:45,863
I work at that hospital.

513
00:19:45,887 --> 00:19:49,523
One, two, three, slide.

514
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,170
Winston was right.

515
00:19:52,194 --> 00:19:54,239
This was a two-man job.

516
00:19:54,263 --> 00:19:55,773
Hell yeah.

517
00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:57,808
But I checked.
Everyone's getting evicted.

518
00:19:57,832 --> 00:20:00,077
They're turning it into
a non-residential space.

519
00:20:00,101 --> 00:20:01,613
Oh, who did you check with?

520
00:20:01,637 --> 00:20:04,295
I hope it was someone important.

521
00:20:05,647 --> 00:20:07,584
Sorry, Jess. Nothing I can do

522
00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:09,820
about zoning laws.
My hands are tied.

523
00:20:09,844 --> 00:20:10,821
Write the check.

524
00:20:10,845 --> 00:20:13,190
Oh. Uh-huh.

525
00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:14,525
Add a zero.

526
00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:15,926
Yeah, okay.

527
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,227
What?!

528
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:19,196
We didn't have to move?

529
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,564
Hell no!

530
00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,132
You didn't have to move.

531
00:20:22,156 --> 00:20:23,400
When did you have time

532
00:20:23,424 --> 00:20:25,669
to do all this? You have a baby.

533
00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:27,003
Well, I got two babies:

534
00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,738
Dan Bill and this prank.

535
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,774
This is a really
stupid thing you did.

536
00:20:30,798 --> 00:20:31,941
You should see your face.

537
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,210
This is what you look like.

538
00:20:35,002 --> 00:20:36,379
"What?"

539
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,548
Y'all look so dumb.

540
00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:40,083
Look at you, Nick.

541
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,385
This is you, Nick.

542
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,367
Okay, it's done.

543
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,002
Everybody in the truck.

544
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,370
Let's go. We're leaving.

545
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,032
I mean, it's happening
now anyway.

546
00:21:04,056 --> 00:21:05,228
Impressive, man.

547
00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,774
- That was good.
- You know, I spent six months

548
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,443
building the Engram
Pattersky website.

549
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,445
And you guys didn't
even visit the office.

550
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:11,946
- What's happening, y'all?
- What's up?

551
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:13,748
♪ For one more try ♪

552
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,282
So, was the prank too small?

553
00:21:15,306 --> 00:21:16,884
You know, I've been
guilty of that in the past.

554
00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:19,120
Too big, man. Way too big.

555
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,770
I don't know.

556
00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:23,495
- I think it was just right.
- Too big.

557
00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:25,292
- Definitely too big.
- Way too big.

558
00:21:25,316 --> 00:21:27,463
Ridiculous.

559
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,530
♪ Ooh ♪

560
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:33,234
♪ Ooh, hoo, hoo ♪

561
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:35,824
♪ Woo, hoo, hoo ♪