1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:02,902
Ah!
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,211
Look how handsome I look.
3
00:00:04,229 --> 00:00:05,096
That is a woman's coat.
4
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,382
This coat has clean lines...
5
00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:09,334
and pockets that don't quit.
6
00:00:09,368 --> 00:00:11,002
And it has room
for your hips.
7
00:00:11,036 --> 00:00:13,088
And when I wear it,
I feel hot to trot.
8
00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:14,705
- You're wearing a dress.
- Yeah, don't say "hot to trot."
9
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,891
My coat makes me say
things like that.
10
00:00:16,926 --> 00:00:18,510
First of all, Nick,
it is not your coat.
11
00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:20,512
True, it was delivered
to the wrong address.
12
00:00:20,546 --> 00:00:23,398
But then tell me, why does
it fit like a damn glove?
13
00:00:23,432 --> 00:00:24,632
What is happening to you, man?
14
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:25,883
I don't know if I can give up
15
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,052
looking this damn good--
(rhythmic grunting)
16
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,805
It's someone else's
woman's coat.
17
00:00:30,839 --> 00:00:31,923
(laughs)
SCHMIDT: Nothing?
18
00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:34,124
I mean, nothing?
Damn it!
19
00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:35,309
I've been trying
to get something going
20
00:00:35,344 --> 00:00:37,311
with myself for a full hour.
21
00:00:37,346 --> 00:00:39,430
It's like a taffy pull
on a hot summer's day.
22
00:00:39,464 --> 00:00:42,483
Eww! You have
the door open, Schmidt.
23
00:00:42,518 --> 00:00:44,986
I'm over myself-- I just
don't do it for me anymore.
24
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:46,821
I even bought myself
a sexy pair of underpants
25
00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:48,439
to spice things up--
didn't happen.
26
00:00:48,473 --> 00:00:49,607
I just laid there.
27
00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:50,825
You know what? That's it.
28
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:52,977
Tonight, I start
having sex again.
29
00:00:52,995 --> 00:00:55,145
Now, are you two gonna join me?
30
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,281
- Not while I'm here, please.
- Is that the way you wanted to say that?
31
00:00:57,315 --> 00:00:58,649
I'm in, Schmidty!
I am in!
32
00:00:58,667 --> 00:00:59,784
I'm gonna have sex tonight.
33
00:00:59,818 --> 00:01:01,202
Yeah!
(laughing)
34
00:01:01,253 --> 00:01:03,454
SCHMIDT:
Yeah!
35
00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:05,006
♪ Who's that girl?
36
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,123
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess.
37
00:01:07,124 --> 00:01:11,158
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:10,429 --> 00:01:11,796
(whistles)
39
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:14,699
I like this feeling, you guys.
I'm liking the vibe
40
00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:16,250
that we got going here.
There's definitely gonna
41
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,835
be some sex-having tonight.
42
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,470
- Oh, yeah...
- Damn it, there needs to be.
43
00:01:19,505 --> 00:01:20,788
You know I haven't had
sex since Labor Day?
44
00:01:21,339 --> 00:01:23,791
I know what the problem is--
I want it too bad.
45
00:01:23,825 --> 00:01:24,825
So, what's your name?
46
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:31,079
Winst... W-W-W... yeah.
47
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,800
You just need
a confidence boost.
48
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,185
Good news--
I'm lousy with the stuff
49
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,686
I got your back tonight.
50
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,889
And you, London Fog, you're
looking hot to trot, baby.
51
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,556
- Any chance you're gonna take that coat off?
- This jacket? No way.
52
00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:40,625
- I'm keeping the jacket on.
- Take the jacket off.
53
00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:41,859
- No, I'm keeping the jacket on.
- No, it's fine.
54
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,395
- Band of brothers.
- Band of brothers, yeah!
55
00:01:44,429 --> 00:01:47,315
The club's up...
Dance, dummy.
56
00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:49,116
Hey, guys.
Guess what?
57
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,036
Sam has the late shift and
Cece's on a date with some Indian guy,
58
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,655
so world's best wing-woman
reporting for duty.
59
00:01:54,706 --> 00:01:56,207
Jess, you can't come.
60
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,408
- What?
- Look,
61
00:01:57,442 --> 00:01:59,627
I actually want
to get girls tonight.
62
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:00,912
You're my cooler.
63
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,163
What?
64
00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:04,031
All I do is help
you get laid, Nick.
65
00:02:04,066 --> 00:02:07,399
Maureen, did you have one
very special long-time love?
66
00:02:07,619 --> 00:02:08,719
Yes.
67
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,087
You should be with him.
68
00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:13,424
I'm not your cooler.
69
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,892
It's not you.
70
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,561
It's the way that you behave.
71
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,895
And the things
that you say.
72
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,764
And the look on your face.
73
00:02:19,798 --> 00:02:20,681
And...
74
00:02:20,716 --> 00:02:22,066
It is you.
75
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,517
It's just you--
you're the cooler.
76
00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:26,087
I'm sorry, but you can't
come with us tonight.
77
00:02:26,121 --> 00:02:27,488
I get it. Um...
78
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,824
I just... I have, um,
a lot of things I have to do.
79
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,609
More important stuff to do here.
80
00:02:31,643 --> 00:02:33,744
I have to clean out
my closet and...
81
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,413
- Oh, yeah. - I have an ice
cream maker to try out.
82
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,182
That's better than going
to a stupid club.
83
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,256
- It's gonna be awesome. It's
gonna be great. - Shut up.
84
00:02:43,556 --> 00:02:46,423
Get out of here, girl,
you're missing nothing.
85
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,143
- It's gonna get so crazy.
- Come on, buddy, get in there.
86
00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:51,629
Get crunk with us, bro.
87
00:02:51,664 --> 00:02:52,881
Yeah-ha-ha!
Yeah!
88
00:02:54,149 --> 00:02:55,400
I can't believe you got us
89
00:02:55,434 --> 00:02:56,618
kicked out of
the discotheque, Nick.
90
00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:57,902
- I didn't even do anything.
- Damn it, Nick,
91
00:02:57,936 --> 00:02:59,737
take the coat off, all right?
It freaks girls out.
92
00:02:59,771 --> 00:03:00,738
Well, maybe they're freaked out
'cause you're
93
00:03:00,772 --> 00:03:02,240
not wearing a trench coat.
94
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:03,408
- Yeah? Have you ever thought of that?
- Okay, guys, please--
95
00:03:03,442 --> 00:03:04,459
no more friendly fire.
96
00:03:04,493 --> 00:03:05,410
- All right.
- Okay.
97
00:03:06,444 --> 00:03:07,495
Ooh, Schmidty type.
98
00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:09,130
That's a Schmidty type
right there.
99
00:03:09,164 --> 00:03:11,332
(all three talking at once)
100
00:03:11,383 --> 00:03:13,417
That's me. Yeah, yeah.
Schmidty time...
101
00:03:13,451 --> 00:03:15,720
I feel good. Yeah.
Schmidty time.
102
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:17,972
- Schmidt! Hey, dude!
- What?!
103
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:19,056
What about band of brothers?
104
00:03:19,091 --> 00:03:20,174
Your friendship
means nothing to me.
105
00:03:20,225 --> 00:03:21,175
Every man for himself.
106
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,643
- Hey, uh...
- Hey.
107
00:03:22,677 --> 00:03:25,229
I was, uh...
108
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:27,615
(laughs)
109
00:03:28,733 --> 00:03:29,700
(clicks tongue)
110
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:31,702
Most... M-M...
111
00:03:31,736 --> 00:03:33,871
Okay... Yeah, can you...
(clears throat)
112
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:35,206
- In the beginning...
- Tap out, man. Tap out.
113
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,591
What happened to building
my confidence, Schmidty?
114
00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:38,926
You went in too soon.
Get out of here.
115
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,710
- Go.
- Go.
116
00:03:39,744 --> 00:03:41,962
- Hey.
- What's happening?
117
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:42,930
Hi.
118
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,000
(sighs)
119
00:03:47,006 --> 00:03:48,602
Wow, that was
embarrassing.
120
00:03:52,589 --> 00:03:53,704
(quietly):
Yeah...
121
00:03:53,808 --> 00:03:54,424
(clears throat)
Well..
122
00:03:55,143 --> 00:03:56,110
You can relax.
123
00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:57,144
I'm taken.
124
00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,765
You were very beautiful
from across the bar.
125
00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,266
I'm sorry. I'm Schmidt.
126
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,269
I'm sorry... we were
talking, Schmidt.
127
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,622
What a ten, what
a beautiful woman.
128
00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:08,623
He works here.
129
00:04:08,657 --> 00:04:09,624
As a bartender.
130
00:04:09,658 --> 00:04:12,109
Yeah, I do.
(laughs)
131
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:15,847
JESS:
February clean-out.
132
00:04:20,784 --> 00:04:22,102
What do you think, Nick?
133
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,558
I'm bored!
134
00:04:30,195 --> 00:04:32,363
No bottoms, no bottoms.
135
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,300
Bottoms on top!
136
00:04:35,334 --> 00:04:38,269
(monotone): Robot can't find
clothes to fit right.
137
00:04:38,303 --> 00:04:40,772
Robot can't find clothes.
138
00:04:40,806 --> 00:04:43,974
♪
139
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,192
(speaking in slow-motion):
140
00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:47,326
I do it for Kenya.
141
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,614
(thud)
(panting)
142
00:04:50,148 --> 00:04:51,282
Silver?!
143
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:54,335
Damn you, Zimbabwe.
144
00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:55,987
(panting, tapping on door)
145
00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:57,655
JESS:
Hello?
146
00:04:57,690 --> 00:05:00,091
(scratching on door)
147
00:05:03,327 --> 00:05:04,529
Hello?
148
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,170
Nice coat you got there.
149
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,171
Well, I just actually
wear it 'cause
150
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,172
it gives me confidence.
151
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,307
That's kind of sad.
152
00:05:16,341 --> 00:05:17,025
You know what's really sad
153
00:05:17,059 --> 00:05:18,180
is that he stole the jacket.
154
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,727
It's not technically stealing.
155
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,329
He's still reeling
from being dumped.
156
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,697
- Aw.
- He's attached to it.
157
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,148
Like a little bitch "bwanky."
158
00:05:24,182 --> 00:05:25,183
It's not like a blanky, dude.
159
00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:26,517
- It looks like a "bwanky."
- It's not like my "bwanky."
160
00:05:26,518 --> 00:05:30,020
The only reason I'm out tonight is to
make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
161
00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:31,021
That's not true.
I'm not gonna...
162
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,707
Shut up, Schmidt.
163
00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:34,021
I mean, I could
take care of you,
164
00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:35,543
- if you wanted.
- You can what?
165
00:05:35,577 --> 00:05:38,195
I love sad guys and you
seem sadder than most.
166
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,498
I think your plan sounds okay.
167
00:05:40,532 --> 00:05:42,050
When you go home at night,
do you look in the mirror
168
00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:43,364
and just think,
"I am the worst"?
169
00:05:44,119 --> 00:05:46,237
- Actually yes, I do.
- Yeah?
170
00:05:46,271 --> 00:05:47,755
- Yeah, a lot of the times.
- You hate yourself?
171
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,006
I definitely don't like myself.
172
00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:50,591
It's right on the line of hate.
173
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,210
What the hell is this?
174
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,212
I don't know how
to talk to women.
175
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,381
Reason being, I feel like
176
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,550
you all think that I just
want one thing from you.
177
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,185
- Mm-hmm.
- I want the one thing.
178
00:06:01,219 --> 00:06:02,720
But a bunch of other th... can
a man just want all the things?
179
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:03,855
I mean, damn.
180
00:06:04,389 --> 00:06:05,773
I like a challenge.
181
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,692
And you are one big challenge.
182
00:06:08,726 --> 00:06:09,743
I'm Daisy.
183
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:10,894
Winston.
184
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,030
Sam, it's Jess.
185
00:06:13,064 --> 00:06:14,615
Please come get me.
186
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:17,999
I'm probably fine,
but I also might be dead.
187
00:06:18,069 --> 00:06:19,787
Good-bye.
188
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,205
(beep)
It's Cece, leave a message.
189
00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:22,773
Cece, it's Jess-- call me back,
190
00:06:22,807 --> 00:06:24,308
I'm alone in the loft.
191
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,143
I think there's something out...
(phone beeps)
192
00:06:27,746 --> 00:06:29,847
There's something sexy about
a man who just needs me
193
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,265
to make him feel better.
194
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,267
I honestly need you to make me feel better.
(cell phone rings)
195
00:06:33,302 --> 00:06:34,886
- Nicholas, your phone's ringing.
- Not now, Schmidt!
196
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,637
- Hey, Jess. It's Jess.
- Schmidt, stop.
197
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,422
- You should really talk to her.
- Unbelievable. I am so sad.
198
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,924
Nicholas, you have
a phone call.
199
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,425
Don't do this,
Schmidt, please don't.
200
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,644
You are the dumbest...
201
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,946
Would you wait one second?
202
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,430
I'm just...
I just have to do this.
203
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,150
- I'll be sad in a second.
- Yep.
204
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:51,602
- Hi.
- Hi.
205
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,404
- I'm sad.
- Okay.
206
00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:54,722
Uh, what is going on?
207
00:06:54,756 --> 00:06:57,441
There's something at the door
and you have to come home.
208
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,076
Cooler, Jess-- you are being
a cooler right now.
209
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:01,412
Seriously, I think
it might be gang related.
210
00:07:01,446 --> 00:07:02,413
I've always been worried
211
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:04,081
about my blue curtains...
212
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,800
(whispers):
Crips.
213
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:07,969
The Cri... Jess, I'm done!
JESS: Nick,
214
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:09,020
I need you.
215
00:07:12,123 --> 00:07:12,974
Yeah, so this is the place.
216
00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:13,975
I'm really glad
you're here.
217
00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:15,259
The bedrooms are
that way...
218
00:07:15,293 --> 00:07:15,927
(shrieking)
219
00:07:15,961 --> 00:07:17,845
(all screaming)
220
00:07:19,848 --> 00:07:22,767
What are you doing, pal?
221
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:23,935
Never leave me alone again.
222
00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:25,336
I'd like to introduce you
223
00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:26,320
to our roommate Jess.
224
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,205
Welcome to our home.
225
00:07:29,351 --> 00:07:31,184
Jess, this loft
has old pipes--
226
00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:32,686
I've told you that
a million times,
227
00:07:32,737 --> 00:07:34,304
but you never listen
during pipe talk.
228
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,156
Well, pipe talk's boring.
229
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,524
- What is this?
- What is what...?
230
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,826
(laughs)
231
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,277
You drew my face on a melon?
232
00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:42,695
What else was I supposed
to draw your face on?
233
00:07:42,746 --> 00:07:43,830
Nothing. Don't draw my face.
234
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,314
- Okay.
- Jess,
235
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,150
for some reason,
that girl out there,
236
00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:48,651
she is sexually
237
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,788
aroused by other
people's misery.
238
00:07:51,822 --> 00:07:54,007
Do you understand
the position that puts me in?
239
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,458
It puts you in
a really good position?
240
00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:57,844
It really does.
And then what happens?
241
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,963
Okay, I understand how,
in this instance,
242
00:07:59,997 --> 00:08:01,631
I might have cooled
things off for you.
243
00:08:01,665 --> 00:08:04,517
- Thank you for admitting that.
- I am prepared to fix it.
244
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:07,720
'Cause, son, I'm gonna
get you laid.
245
00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:09,855
Okay, it's not how it is and
never call me "son"
246
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,973
and don't talk like that.
247
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:12,809
The game is True American
248
00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:15,444
but with a sexy new twist:
Clinton rules.
249
00:08:15,445 --> 00:08:16,062
Pick your interns.
250
00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:18,981
- I don't understand the game.
- Uh, you're gonna be my intern.
251
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:19,666
It's okay, it's stripping.
252
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,683
It's not just stripping,
it's sexy.
253
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:22,285
Okay, so what exactly
are the rules?
254
00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:25,021
- The floor is lava, doves versus hawks.
- The couch is the Mason-Dixon line.
255
00:08:25,039 --> 00:08:26,039
We're not doing
cabinets-- no cabinets.
256
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,407
- No cabinet.
- No cabinets.
257
00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:28,992
One, two, three, four, JFK!
258
00:08:29,026 --> 00:08:30,243
ALL:
FDR!
259
00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:31,578
Go, go--
that's the lava!
260
00:08:31,629 --> 00:08:33,329
(clamoring)
261
00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:35,165
- Down, down in the tunnel.
- No.
262
00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:36,716
I'm the President,
you're the Vice President.
263
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,217
Joe Biden!
264
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,751
- It's Abu Nazir!
- Where?
265
00:08:38,802 --> 00:08:41,754
- No, no, no, no! Spin, spin, spin, spin!
- Fly! Do the chicken dance!
266
00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:44,090
- No, no counter clock-wise?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
267
00:08:44,141 --> 00:08:46,091
Holly, you're in the
Amber Waves of Grain.
268
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,677
You have to lose your jacket.
269
00:08:47,711 --> 00:08:49,062
- I...
- Take off your jacket; She's right.
270
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,897
Those are the rules.
271
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,381
Is there, like, a printout of
the rules I can see, or...?
272
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,566
- No!
- No!
273
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,601
I thought this was like music...
274
00:08:54,652 --> 00:08:56,019
Howard Dean Scream.
275
00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:58,354
ALL:
Yeah!
276
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:00,240
God...
277
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,775
I am sorry I was crying so much.
278
00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,944
God, that film,
it just... it just reminded me
279
00:09:04,995 --> 00:09:06,663
how much I want
to have kids, you know?
280
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,200
Was that just
a really weird thing
281
00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:12,401
- to say on a first date?
- No.
282
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,120
Are you sure?
It felt a bit weird.
283
00:09:14,671 --> 00:09:18,004
Oh, my best friend has
texted me, like, 12 times.
284
00:09:18,742 --> 00:09:20,876
I get it-- you're just trying
to get out of the date.
285
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:22,928
- No, no, no-- no, this is real.
- It's the kids thing. I knew it.
286
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,047
Some psycho keeps scratching at
her door and then running away.
287
00:09:25,081 --> 00:09:28,050
She's pretty sure it's
the Calabasas Scratcher.
288
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:29,301
- I mean, is that a thing?
- What?
289
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:30,553
I don't keep up with local news.
290
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:31,887
I don't know, it's fine.
291
00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:33,222
You don't have to lie to me.
292
00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:34,590
- I get it.
- You can come with me.
293
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:35,891
Okay? Then you'll see.
294
00:09:35,925 --> 00:09:37,426
- Well, all right.
- She's just like this.
295
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,978
ALL (chanting):
Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!
296
00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:41,430
- Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!
- Gettysburg, Bull Run.
297
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,116
Oh, no, oh, no,
I think I fell-- oh, no.
298
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,985
In the course of human events,
you must...
299
00:09:46,036 --> 00:09:47,620
ALL:
Surrender your shirt!
300
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,071
Fine, I'll take off my shirt.
301
00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,906
He did it on purpose--
he did it to impress her!
302
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,291
- U.S.A.
- I am not...
303
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,292
ALL:
I am not a crook!
304
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,111
- I am not a crook!
- What do you mean, man?
305
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,297
I took my shirt off! Wait!
It's part of the game, you guys!
306
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,000
Up, up, up.
I'm up! Oh, wow!
307
00:10:01,051 --> 00:10:03,252
This footstool really
reminds me of my ex.
308
00:10:03,286 --> 00:10:06,255
Liar! Holly, Holly, look at
these-- these are my abs.
309
00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:08,457
Hard to believe that I used to
be a great big fat person.
310
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,675
Oh, fat makes me so sad.
311
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:10,843
Yeah, it makes
me sad, too.
312
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,428
I'm chubby... I'm a fat guy.
313
00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:14,146
- You look great, man.
- I'm a fat boy.
314
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,648
- Feel where the fat used to be?
- Yeah.
315
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,932
Yeah, it's been replaced
with phantom fat.
316
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:18,768
I still feel it jiggle.
317
00:10:18,802 --> 00:10:20,486
Hey, Schmidt, your butt
318
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,488
just violated
the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act1
319
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,490
Westward Ho, son!
Westward Ho.
320
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,659
- Bye-bye, Schmidt.
- Damn it.
321
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:27,976
Come on, all you got
to do is talk to her,
322
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,361
what's the big deal?
323
00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:31,113
Okay, mm...
324
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:33,182
You're at the bar-- I'm Holly.
325
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,484
Boy, am I thirsty.
326
00:10:35,519 --> 00:10:37,102
I was wondering if, like...
327
00:10:37,154 --> 00:10:38,821
if you want... if you want,
per chance, like...
328
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:39,855
"Per chance," really?
329
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,941
Hm? No, it's, uh...
330
00:10:41,992 --> 00:10:44,076
- You're a swell kind of gal.
- Getting worse.
331
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,194
You come on out to the bar.
332
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,445
(imitates retching)
333
00:10:46,496 --> 00:10:48,497
Hey, girl, what your name is?
334
00:10:48,532 --> 00:10:50,115
- Oh, my God.
- What that thing do?
335
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,333
Oh, my God.
336
00:10:51,368 --> 00:10:52,918
- Out of all the gals in this...
- God... what...
337
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,754
- you walked into mine.
- Please.
338
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,007
- Um...
- Yeah, take a sip.
339
00:10:58,041 --> 00:10:59,402
Okay, look,
I think you're amazing.
340
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,260
Would you like to have
a drink with me?
341
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,696
Yes, yes, I will.
342
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:04,697
Now give me that.
343
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,148
(both chuckle)
344
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:07,683
This coat is an unfair
advantage-- take it off.
345
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:08,567
I love the coat.
346
00:11:08,618 --> 00:11:09,685
Take the coat off!
347
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,402
Hey, Schmidt!
348
00:11:10,453 --> 00:11:12,855
Hey, hey! No!
349
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,023
Order! Order!
350
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,159
All right, there's only
one way to solve this.
351
00:11:16,193 --> 00:11:18,527
Two of us have to go
behind the Iron Curtain,
352
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,213
which is that door
there, and kiss.
353
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,681
And there has to be a "clear
354
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:25,767
- and present threat of tongue."
- This is why I voted for you.
355
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,252
- Holly, you ready for this?
- Definitely against the president's order.
356
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:28,554
- Ready?
NICK: Let's do the count.
357
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,805
The two, three or four.
358
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,921
So when we do this, do two.
359
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:31,841
Okay. Not three, not
one, not four-- two.
360
00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,058
A one or a three.
Anything but a two.
361
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,177
Just not a two. Two. Do you hear me?
Two. Not four.
362
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:36,679
One, two, three.
363
00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:39,014
What are you doing?
You said not to do a two!
364
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,883
NICK:
I made it so clear!
365
00:11:43,052 --> 00:11:45,070
- No...!
- No...!
366
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,605
- ...brought the change in!
- Mulligan! Mulligan!
367
00:11:46,656 --> 00:11:48,858
Holly, wait for me!
I'm very sad!
368
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:50,242
ALL:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
369
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,862
Open the door!
Open the door!
370
00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,114
(muffled): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
371
00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:57,900
(whistling)
372
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,635
I can see how
in this second instance
373
00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:00,953
I might be considered
a cooler...
374
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,254
if you want to label me.
375
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,839
You think?
376
00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:08,799
ALL (chanting):
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
377
00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:12,167
Okay, we kissed. Let us out.
Sent you a picture.
378
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:15,023
WINSTON:
That ain't no kiss, man!
379
00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:16,341
Come on,
Inspector Gadget,
380
00:12:16,392 --> 00:12:17,942
inspect those tonsils.
381
00:12:17,977 --> 00:12:20,061
Just give Jess
a tender, sensual kiss,
382
00:12:20,579 --> 00:12:21,896
and we will let you
right out.
383
00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:23,698
- Shut up, Schmidt!
- Schmidt, stay out of this!
384
00:12:23,732 --> 00:12:25,093
SCHMIDT: Please stop
yelling at me!
385
00:12:25,117 --> 00:12:26,117
You know that I'm ten percent
386
00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:27,369
more emotionally fragile
than Nick right now.
387
00:12:27,403 --> 00:12:28,753
No, no, don't!
No, please!
388
00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:29,621
Don't! Don't!
389
00:12:30,672 --> 00:12:31,906
Do you mind if I tell you
a story?
390
00:12:31,924 --> 00:12:33,758
- Is it sad?
- Holly, he's really happy!
391
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,743
He's got a 401K
and a six-pack!
392
00:12:35,761 --> 00:12:37,545
Well, it's the tale
393
00:12:37,579 --> 00:12:39,247
of an uber successful
marketing executive's journey...
394
00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:41,383
- I'm hairy and chubby!
- ...into heartbreak.
395
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:42,050
Mm-hmm.
396
00:12:42,084 --> 00:12:43,385
Her name was Cecelia.
397
00:12:43,419 --> 00:12:45,603
No!
398
00:12:45,638 --> 00:12:47,105
Come on, come on. Holly, wait!
399
00:12:47,139 --> 00:12:49,657
Ugh! What is the big deal?
400
00:12:50,192 --> 00:12:52,227
Let's just suck it up
and French a little.
401
00:12:52,261 --> 00:12:53,445
Okay, fine, but don't say
402
00:12:53,479 --> 00:12:55,063
"Let's suck it up
and French a little."
403
00:12:55,097 --> 00:12:56,448
Okay, fine. Let's do this.
404
00:12:57,983 --> 00:12:59,267
What were you doing?!
405
00:12:59,285 --> 00:13:01,403
Well, I thought you're
sitting on the ground.
406
00:13:01,437 --> 00:13:02,737
- No. I... Okay.
- Uh!
407
00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:04,739
Okay, Jess, hey,
this is not a big deal.
408
00:13:04,773 --> 00:13:06,607
Okay, not a big deal.
Let's just do it.
409
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,326
- Fine. Let's just do it.
- Okay. Great, yeah.
410
00:13:08,377 --> 00:13:09,444
Let's just do it.
411
00:13:09,462 --> 00:13:10,495
Okay, cool.
412
00:13:10,546 --> 00:13:11,946
Why are you licking
your lips?
413
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:14,449
- Should I not? Do you
want dry lips? - No.
414
00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:15,950
Then I'm just licking 'em
to make 'em better.
415
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,118
- Okay.
- Fine.
416
00:13:17,136 --> 00:13:19,170
- Do it.
- I'm doing it.
417
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:20,505
Fine, then do it.
418
00:13:21,056 --> 00:13:21,973
Are you a tongue-er?
419
00:13:22,007 --> 00:13:23,841
- Am I a tongue-er?
- I don't want to put
420
00:13:23,892 --> 00:13:25,126
my tongue in your mouth,
if you don't like it.
421
00:13:25,144 --> 00:13:26,177
Just kiss me!
422
00:13:26,228 --> 00:13:27,679
Okay, all right, great.
423
00:13:27,730 --> 00:13:29,764
- That's what I'm gonna do.
- All right.
424
00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:30,815
Ready?
425
00:13:30,850 --> 00:13:32,183
Yeah.
426
00:13:32,234 --> 00:13:34,185
One, two... I'm actually
not gonna do a count.
427
00:13:34,236 --> 00:13:35,854
- Okay.
- That's not my style when I kiss.
428
00:13:35,905 --> 00:13:37,105
- I don't count down before...
- Okay.
429
00:13:37,139 --> 00:13:39,524
- I don't think so.
- Okay.
430
00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,475
- Ready?
- Yep.
431
00:13:42,528 --> 00:13:44,946
- I'm sorry. You can't do that.
- What did I do?
432
00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:46,497
- Your face.
- My face?
433
00:13:46,531 --> 00:13:48,199
Yeah, you can't do that
with your face.
434
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,451
Okay, I'll do something
different with my face.
435
00:13:49,485 --> 00:13:51,486
Okay, all right, great.
436
00:13:53,038 --> 00:13:54,472
Wait-- you can't kiss
with your teeth!
437
00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:56,040
Okay, I can't--
no, I can't do this.
438
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:58,209
Well, you can't try to kiss me
like a Joker and expect...
439
00:13:58,260 --> 00:13:59,844
Okay, you're...
let me out of here!
440
00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:02,130
NICK: Let me out! Sometimes, I
hear her name when the wind blows.
441
00:14:02,164 --> 00:14:03,114
NICK: Please!
442
00:14:03,149 --> 00:14:05,383
NICK: Open the door!
(whooshing) Cece.
443
00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:08,520
You know, I left something
behind in the desert that day:
444
00:14:08,554 --> 00:14:10,188
My faith and true love...
445
00:14:10,222 --> 00:14:12,857
and my future biracial child.
446
00:14:12,892 --> 00:14:14,726
You, you kind of
lost me there.
447
00:14:14,777 --> 00:14:16,144
Not really doing it
for me.
448
00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:17,695
It's more depressing
than sad.
449
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:18,947
- It's not depress...
- It's depressing.
450
00:14:18,981 --> 00:14:19,948
- It's sort of depressing.
- No, no, no, it's not depressing.
451
00:14:19,982 --> 00:14:20,949
It's not really
doing it for me.
452
00:14:20,983 --> 00:14:21,900
I'm gonna tell you
why it's not depressing.
453
00:14:21,951 --> 00:14:23,151
Because she is still
in love with me.
454
00:14:23,185 --> 00:14:26,488
I'm over it completely.
455
00:14:26,522 --> 00:14:29,574
Having said that,
it's so hard to move on.
456
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,159
- Do-do you know what I mean?
- Yes.
457
00:14:31,193 --> 00:14:32,644
- Can you help me move on, Holly?
- You need help moving.
458
00:14:32,678 --> 00:14:34,379
- Can you heal my pain?
- I can heal your pain.
459
00:14:34,413 --> 00:14:35,497
- Can you ple...
- I can heal you.
460
00:14:35,531 --> 00:14:36,697
Yeah, you can heal my...
461
00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:38,249
Hey, Jess? Where's Jess? Jess,
462
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,168
where are you?
I came as fast as I can.
463
00:14:40,202 --> 00:14:42,670
NICK: Cece, open the door!
JESS: Cece, don't worry! I'm just trapped
464
00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:43,922
- I need to kill Schmidt!
- Until I kiss Nick!
465
00:14:43,973 --> 00:14:46,391
- What?
- You're the... She's the Cece?
466
00:14:46,425 --> 00:14:47,842
Right there,
in the flesh.
467
00:14:47,876 --> 00:14:49,210
You are obsessed!
468
00:14:49,995 --> 00:14:51,679
Cece, honey,
you have to move on, okay?
469
00:14:51,714 --> 00:14:53,848
You can't love somebody
forever.
470
00:14:53,882 --> 00:14:56,434
I'm sorry.
You love that small shiny man?
471
00:14:56,485 --> 00:14:57,885
- No!
- What do you mean, small, man?
472
00:14:57,903 --> 00:14:59,404
None of this is true.
473
00:14:59,438 --> 00:15:02,056
No, because I'm on a date.
474
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:03,942
Should we make out to make him
jealous or something?
475
00:15:04,493 --> 00:15:06,277
Are you lying to me?
I really hate being lied to.
476
00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:09,030
I would never lie to you.
I haven't lied to you
477
00:15:09,064 --> 00:15:11,749
this whole time we've been
in this loft-- that's a fact.
478
00:15:11,784 --> 00:15:13,535
- Cece, uh...
- Hey.
479
00:15:13,569 --> 00:15:16,254
...please tell me,
in front of Holly,
480
00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:17,539
how much you still
love me.
481
00:15:17,573 --> 00:15:19,624
I'm sorry.
Is this why we came here?
482
00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:21,960
- Please, I don't really know
what that accent is. - English.
483
00:15:22,011 --> 00:15:23,962
I speak English. That
didn't sound like English.
484
00:15:24,013 --> 00:15:26,931
It will be my final request,
485
00:15:26,966 --> 00:15:28,716
I promise,
486
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:31,102
so both of us can move on.
487
00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:35,269
- 'Cause I, you know, I'd really
like to move on. - I get it.
488
00:15:35,357 --> 00:15:38,476
- I'd like to move on all night long with Holly.
- Okay, I get it.
489
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:44,265
I'm only gonna say this
one more time.
490
00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:47,616
I always have
and always will...
491
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,622
love you.
492
00:15:52,656 --> 00:15:54,626
All right, all right, you know,
this is the most elaborate way
493
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:57,161
to get out of dating me that
I've ever experienced, so...
494
00:15:57,212 --> 00:15:58,630
(mouthing)
495
00:16:00,983 --> 00:16:01,983
Winny, it's Nicky.
496
00:16:02,017 --> 00:16:03,585
Open the door, man!
497
00:16:03,619 --> 00:16:05,637
- I guess the game's over.
- I thought we were working together.
498
00:16:05,671 --> 00:16:06,921
I was gonna start on
your confidence
499
00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:08,356
and work my way up
to your facial hair.
500
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:09,841
What's your fiancé
gonna say about that?
501
00:16:09,892 --> 00:16:12,627
Oh, this? I just wear it
so guys don't hit on me in bars.
502
00:16:12,645 --> 00:16:13,645
Okay.
503
00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:14,962
I'm single.
504
00:16:14,980 --> 00:16:16,481
What are you gonna
do about it, huh?
505
00:16:16,515 --> 00:16:17,849
I'm gonna tell you
what I'm gonna do.
506
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:18,766
Okay, I'm waiting.
507
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,968
- Um, so...
- Still waiting.
508
00:16:20,986 --> 00:16:22,704
NICK:
Don't say anything!
509
00:16:22,738 --> 00:16:23,688
JESS: She sounds weird!
Just let us out!
510
00:16:23,739 --> 00:16:25,857
NICK: Just open the door.
- Yeah.
511
00:16:32,697 --> 00:16:34,999
C minus.
You kiss like a damn bitch.
512
00:16:35,534 --> 00:16:37,335
- Oh, you're messing with me; Okay.
- Little bit.
513
00:16:37,369 --> 00:16:39,504
(both sigh)
514
00:16:39,538 --> 00:16:41,623
Nick, I'm gonna admit it.
515
00:16:41,657 --> 00:16:42,840
I might be your cooler.
516
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,626
I chalk it up to bad timing.
517
00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:45,960
Well, thank you for
admitting that.
518
00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:48,129
But to be fair,
519
00:16:48,163 --> 00:16:50,381
you are your own cooler
70% of the time.
520
00:16:50,432 --> 00:16:52,967
Some basic grooming, Nick,
and you'd be smoking hot.
521
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:54,669
I'd be smoking hot?
522
00:16:54,687 --> 00:16:55,853
You'd be smoking hot.
523
00:16:55,888 --> 00:16:56,888
You do want to kiss me, then.
524
00:16:56,939 --> 00:16:58,690
All bets are off
if you take a shower.
525
00:16:58,724 --> 00:17:01,275
(laughs)
That is very nice of you.
526
00:17:08,784 --> 00:17:09,867
(banging on door)
527
00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:11,202
Jess, are you okay?
I got your message!
528
00:17:11,236 --> 00:17:13,154
What's happening?
529
00:17:13,188 --> 00:17:15,373
- Sam, I'm so sorry. Yeah... here,
- I'll help you up. I'll help you up.
530
00:17:15,407 --> 00:17:15,990
It was a false alarm.
531
00:17:16,024 --> 00:17:17,492
All right.
532
00:17:17,526 --> 00:17:19,744
What are you doing back there?
533
00:17:19,795 --> 00:17:22,914
ALL: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
534
00:17:24,365 --> 00:17:26,049
Okay, let's just do
this already.
535
00:17:26,084 --> 00:17:27,535
- Just kiss me.
- No, I'm not gonna kiss you.
536
00:17:27,553 --> 00:17:28,720
- Kiss me!
- Jess, stop!
537
00:17:28,754 --> 00:17:30,588
God! Miller,
just kiss me already!
538
00:17:30,639 --> 00:17:33,040
No, not like this!
539
00:17:34,058 --> 00:17:35,259
That, that...
540
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:37,244
- What? What does that mean?
- No, I didn't...
541
00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:39,596
Nothing. I just, I didn't
mean it like that.
542
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,848
I just, we can't
like that because
543
00:17:41,899 --> 00:17:44,101
that's not....
Do you know, like...?
544
00:17:44,135 --> 00:17:46,103
It's very, like, you don't...
545
00:17:46,137 --> 00:17:47,604
That's not what it...
546
00:17:47,638 --> 00:17:48,772
(muffled):
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
547
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,807
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
548
00:17:50,825 --> 00:17:52,660
(muffled): Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
549
00:17:52,944 --> 00:17:54,528
If you'll excuse me.
550
00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:55,997
Nick, what are you doing?
551
00:17:57,031 --> 00:17:58,148
What are you do...?
552
00:17:58,166 --> 00:17:59,617
- I'm fine.
- Nick!
553
00:17:59,651 --> 00:18:02,870
I just have to move this,
right here-- my back. Aah!
554
00:18:02,921 --> 00:18:05,122
Okay, this makes sense.
555
00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:06,290
What are you doing?!
556
00:18:06,324 --> 00:18:08,125
I just need a little air...
(continues indistinctly)
557
00:18:08,159 --> 00:18:09,377
What are you doing?!
558
00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:12,296
This is what I needed.
This is... Ah-ha-ha!
559
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,881
Nick, you don't have
to kiss me!
560
00:18:13,932 --> 00:18:15,666
GROUP: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
561
00:18:15,684 --> 00:18:17,718
Help! Help me!
562
00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:18,853
(chanting fades)
563
00:18:18,887 --> 00:18:20,521
I made a very bad mistake!
564
00:18:20,555 --> 00:18:22,339
(everyone shouting)
Nick, no! No!
565
00:18:22,357 --> 00:18:23,207
Help me open this window!
Help!
566
00:18:23,241 --> 00:18:24,341
(all clamoring)
Don't jump!
567
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:26,193
Hold it right there!
(yells)
568
00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:30,673
You scared me half
to death out there.
569
00:18:30,857 --> 00:18:32,190
Are you not getting
enough attention?
570
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,959
I'm fine! I am fine!
571
00:18:33,993 --> 00:18:35,077
You wouldn't let me out.
572
00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:37,162
- I was partly joking!
- Nick, we will talk
573
00:18:37,196 --> 00:18:38,463
about this in the morning.
574
00:18:38,498 --> 00:18:40,082
Yes, we will.
But first...
575
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:42,251
I'm gonna go do stuff
with a girl.
576
00:18:42,302 --> 00:18:43,869
Yeah!
577
00:18:43,887 --> 00:18:45,203
- I'm sorry.
- I'm glad you're okay.
578
00:18:45,221 --> 00:18:46,472
I'm fine.
I'm just, I got...
579
00:18:46,506 --> 00:18:47,756
Hey, Nick,
if you ever feel the urge
580
00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:48,974
to jump again, you call me.
581
00:18:49,009 --> 00:18:50,342
Thank you.
582
00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:54,045
I am genuinely afraid of her.
583
00:18:54,063 --> 00:18:55,698
I wish you didn't do that.
584
00:18:55,732 --> 00:18:57,466
Close the door.
585
00:18:58,134 --> 00:18:59,717
Thank you.
586
00:18:59,735 --> 00:19:01,604
(both chuckling,
talking quietly)
587
00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:04,490
That was freakin' hilarious!
588
00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:06,992
I mean, Jess, he jumped out on
a ledge instead of kissing you.
589
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:08,027
Can you believe that?
590
00:19:08,061 --> 00:19:09,495
I'm an idiot.
591
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,897
Well, he's missing out.
592
00:19:11,915 --> 00:19:13,449
- You want to go to bed?
- Mm-hmm.
593
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,500
Okay.
594
00:19:15,702 --> 00:19:17,503
(quiet laugh)
595
00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:25,558
(scratching on door)
596
00:19:26,112 --> 00:19:27,579
(scratching)
597
00:19:29,265 --> 00:19:30,916
Nick!
598
00:19:30,934 --> 00:19:33,018
The scratching's back.
599
00:19:33,053 --> 00:19:34,470
All right, all right.
600
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:35,554
Jess, I'll take care of it.
601
00:19:35,588 --> 00:19:36,605
Relax.
602
00:19:38,608 --> 00:19:39,692
NICK:
There's nobody there.
603
00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:41,060
(gasps, dog barks)
604
00:19:41,094 --> 00:19:43,195
Admiral! Brian!
605
00:19:43,229 --> 00:19:45,597
Admiral Hornbeck!
Brian, down!
606
00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:47,566
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
607
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,434
Sometimes he gets out...
Is that my coat?
608
00:19:49,452 --> 00:19:50,653
What...?
609
00:19:50,704 --> 00:19:52,604
I thought my package
was delivered here.
610
00:19:52,622 --> 00:19:54,156
- It's her coat.
- I was knocking and knocking.
611
00:19:54,207 --> 00:19:55,708
Are you sleeping in it?!
612
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:57,042
- I think he might have been.
- Why?!
613
00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:58,377
'Cause it's a fantastic coat.
614
00:19:58,411 --> 00:19:59,244
It gives me confidence.
615
00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:00,612
Man, that is a woman's coat.
616
00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:01,947
- What are you doing?
- All right, well, this is not the...
617
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,415
Give her the coat, Nick.
618
00:20:03,449 --> 00:20:05,084
I love this coat.
619
00:20:05,118 --> 00:20:07,452
So much weird crap
happens in this apartment.
620
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:08,554
He's really sorry.
621
00:20:11,574 --> 00:20:12,841
God!
622
00:20:12,892 --> 00:20:14,459
(both chuckle)
623
00:20:14,477 --> 00:20:16,845
Well, I guess
the old Nick is back, huh?
624
00:20:16,896 --> 00:20:18,731
Yeah. I'm gonna miss
Trench Coat Nick.
625
00:20:18,765 --> 00:20:19,732
(both laugh)
626
00:20:19,766 --> 00:20:20,849
He was pretty great.
627
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:21,850
I might miss him.
628
00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:23,569
I liked him.
629
00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:24,970
He had guts.
630
00:20:24,988 --> 00:20:26,188
It was a woman's coat.
631
00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:27,606
(both laugh)
632
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,575
- Good night, Nick.
- Good night.
633
00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:50,863
I meant something
like that.
634
00:21:06,696 --> 00:21:08,013
(grunts with effort)
635
00:21:08,031 --> 00:21:09,782
Oh, uh, hey, babe,
636
00:21:10,316 --> 00:21:12,382
do you mind if I, uh,
put this somewhere else?
637
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:14,551
It's kind of, it's kind
of creeping me out
638
00:21:14,619 --> 00:21:16,921
when I'm trying
to go to sleep.
639
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,189
Yeah, that's fine.
(clears throat)
640
00:21:18,256 --> 00:21:19,356
- Cool.
- That's fine.
641
00:21:19,424 --> 00:21:20,490
(thudding)
642
00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:23,393
Whew.
643
00:21:29,461 --> 00:21:34,962
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com