1 00:00:00,966 --> 00:00:02,126 So, I've got it all planned out. 2 00:00:02,150 --> 00:00:03,849 I'm gonna surprise Nick at his book reading, 3 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,856 and afterwards, when he's on a big high, 4 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,952 I'm gonna tell him how I feel. 5 00:00:07,976 --> 00:00:10,384 You think this is a little soon after the breakup with Reagan? 6 00:00:10,408 --> 00:00:11,455 - Yeah. - Yeah. 7 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,350 I'm worried, very worried. 8 00:00:13,374 --> 00:00:14,942 But you know what, I wrote everything out on the plane, 9 00:00:14,966 --> 00:00:16,190 like what I'm gonna say. 10 00:00:16,214 --> 00:00:18,434 It's all on flash cards, some of it's in song, 11 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,189 I would do it for you, but... 12 00:00:20,213 --> 00:00:21,658 some of the jokes are at your expense, 13 00:00:21,682 --> 00:00:22,645 so, uh... 14 00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:24,986 Jess, why don't you just tell him how you feel? 15 00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:28,276 You know, no jokes, no songs, just from the heart. 16 00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:32,090 No songs. 17 00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:34,023 Yeah. No songs. 18 00:00:34,047 --> 00:00:35,997 No songs, she said. 19 00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:37,589 - "Pepperwood lay on the ground - _ 20 00:00:37,613 --> 00:00:39,270 "in a puddle of blood. 21 00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:42,673 "Jessica Night broke through the barricades and ran to his side. 22 00:00:42,697 --> 00:00:44,433 "'Even though he doesn't have muscles, 23 00:00:44,457 --> 00:00:47,250 "he seems incredibly strong' Jessica thought, 24 00:00:47,274 --> 00:00:49,668 "as she looked into his perfect, sexy face. 25 00:00:49,692 --> 00:00:51,490 "Even now, even covered 26 00:00:51,514 --> 00:00:54,322 "in the blood of the man they both knew as Schmith, 27 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:57,847 "the two sat in silence in the hot, New Orleans night, 28 00:00:57,871 --> 00:01:00,621 "waiting for the words that would never come." 29 00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:08,785 I'm gonna open up the floor to some questions. 30 00:01:08,809 --> 00:01:10,855 Uh, the young lady right here in the strange-looking vest. 31 00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:11,933 No offense. 32 00:01:11,957 --> 00:01:14,428 When are Pepperwood and Jessica Night going to get together? 33 00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:16,332 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That is a great question. 34 00:01:18,383 --> 00:01:20,060 I'll just cut to it, guys. 35 00:01:20,084 --> 00:01:24,136 Uh, Pepperwood and Jessica Night will never get together. Never. 36 00:01:26,102 --> 00:01:27,441 I'm sorry. You guys, stop. 37 00:01:27,465 --> 00:01:29,938 It's just, look, these characters, 38 00:01:29,962 --> 00:01:32,096 they-they are based off real people. 39 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,270 A-and the real people... 40 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,441 are just fundamentally different. 41 00:01:36,465 --> 00:01:38,162 They don't work together. 42 00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:39,943 It's just never gonna happen. 43 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,002 - You just got to forget about it. - Excuse me. 44 00:01:42,026 --> 00:01:43,336 Move on from it. 45 00:01:46,309 --> 00:01:48,753 And also, you know, Pepperwood, he blew it. 46 00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:51,163 Sometimes you don't get another chance, you know, 47 00:01:51,187 --> 00:01:52,296 to-to fix the mistake. 48 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,938 It's just... look, adult relationships 49 00:01:53,962 --> 00:01:55,025 are really complicated. 50 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,866 So, let's hear it for books! 51 00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:01,961 All right, wow, you guys are super intense. 52 00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:08,113 Hi. 53 00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:10,076 - I'm Merle Streep. - I don't care. 54 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:13,425 Okay. Um, I'm an editor and I publish children's books, 55 00:02:13,449 --> 00:02:14,737 - so I wanted... - Oh, congratulations to you. 56 00:02:14,761 --> 00:02:15,777 What would you like me to do about that? 57 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,683 Uh, I'm about to make a call, so... 58 00:02:17,707 --> 00:02:19,351 Nice to meet you, Merle Streep. 59 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:22,194 - Goofy name. Okay. - I'll... I'll... okay. 60 00:02:29,891 --> 00:02:31,638 - Hey, Nick. - Hey, this is crazy, 61 00:02:31,662 --> 00:02:33,606 but were you just at my reading? 62 00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:34,693 You're not in L.A., are you? 63 00:02:34,717 --> 00:02:37,175 No, I'm in Portland with my dad. 64 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,042 - That's what I thought. - How'd the reading go? 65 00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:40,151 Couldn't have gone better. 66 00:02:40,175 --> 00:02:41,975 I felt weirdly comfortable up there. 67 00:02:41,999 --> 00:02:44,125 - I'm so proud of you. - Thanks. 68 00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:49,459 Reagan and I broke up. 69 00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:50,615 I got to go. 70 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,950 Oh, my dad just sprained his thumb 71 00:02:52,974 --> 00:02:54,648 trying to get up off a couch. 72 00:02:54,672 --> 00:02:56,544 I'll talk to you later, Nick. 73 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,180 Sorry. So, is now a good time to talk to you? 74 00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:01,084 Because I'd like to talk to you about publishing your book. 75 00:03:01,108 --> 00:03:02,448 You'd like to talk to me about what? 76 00:03:02,472 --> 00:03:03,590 Publishing your book. 77 00:03:03,614 --> 00:03:05,180 What are you, some kind of a-a publisher? 78 00:03:05,204 --> 00:03:06,210 Yeah, that's what my card... 79 00:03:06,234 --> 00:03:07,863 I was trying to give you my card, but you... 80 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,730 - You want to publish my book? - Yeah. 81 00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,768 Yeah, I want you to publish my book. 82 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,837 - Is this how you normally are? - No. 83 00:03:16,299 --> 00:03:18,414 Babe, hi. Are your pants off? 84 00:03:18,438 --> 00:03:20,545 I... I went to the reading and... 85 00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:21,706 Oh, no, what happened? 86 00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:23,415 I'm so sorry I'm not wearing pants. 87 00:03:23,439 --> 00:03:24,740 Schmidt's been so busy with work, 88 00:03:24,764 --> 00:03:26,743 we scheduled a no-pants dinner thing. 89 00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:29,175 Do you want me to take my pants off, too? 90 00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:31,259 Oh, no, honey. Tell me everything. 91 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,431 That's it. I'm all moved in. 92 00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:36,728 This is my last box and it's labeled "holiday important." 93 00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:38,744 So, it's definitely sex toys. 94 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:40,824 Well, then I wonder what's in this box. 95 00:03:40,848 --> 00:03:42,332 It's labeled "documents." 96 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,494 Eh, it's just documents. 97 00:03:44,518 --> 00:03:45,655 Oh, no, no, no. That's nothing. 98 00:03:45,679 --> 00:03:47,877 - I... - Wait, wait, wait. 99 00:03:48,739 --> 00:03:51,255 You have a mug shot of the diaper bandit? 100 00:03:51,279 --> 00:03:53,175 - With a phone number on the back? - All right. 101 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:56,055 Listen, I-I wanted to wait for the right time to tell you this. 102 00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:57,367 Have you been keeping in touch with the diaper bandit? 103 00:03:57,391 --> 00:03:59,945 What? No. No, listen. I... 104 00:03:59,969 --> 00:04:03,470 That's actually your dad's phone number. 105 00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:07,887 You said you wanted to find him, so... 106 00:04:08,741 --> 00:04:10,083 I found him. 107 00:04:16,503 --> 00:04:18,424 My dad is the diaper bandit? 108 00:04:18,448 --> 00:04:19,725 - No. - Oh. 109 00:04:19,749 --> 00:04:22,109 - Forget about the diaper bandit. - That'd have been weird. 110 00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:35,477 Cece... I'm not wearing any pants. 111 00:04:36,274 --> 00:04:37,273 Honey. 112 00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:39,319 Oh, no! Oh, no! 113 00:04:39,343 --> 00:04:40,695 I touched one of your breasts! Where is my wife?! 114 00:04:40,719 --> 00:04:42,107 I can never be the same! 115 00:04:43,999 --> 00:04:46,140 - Let's just move on. - I'm fine. No, it's fine. 116 00:04:46,164 --> 00:04:48,389 I panicked, and I told him I was in Portland, 117 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,508 and now I can't go back to the loft. 118 00:04:50,532 --> 00:04:51,491 To play devil's advocate, 119 00:04:51,515 --> 00:04:53,596 he was just talking about characters in his novel. 120 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,287 I mean, look, the character based on me 121 00:04:55,311 --> 00:04:58,367 is a Jewish psychopath who wears a bolo tie 122 00:04:58,391 --> 00:05:00,570 and eats applesauce out of a baboon's skull. 123 00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:02,320 No, he was talking about us. 124 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,295 He just doesn't feel the way I feel. 125 00:05:04,319 --> 00:05:06,774 I... I can't see him. 126 00:05:06,798 --> 00:05:09,639 Hey, it's me, Nick. In three, two... 127 00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:10,917 - Hang on, wrong key. - Get in the kitchen. 128 00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,941 - Go, shoo, scram. - That was for my chest drawer. 129 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:16,700 - Got it. - My man. 130 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,167 I don't love this couch. 131 00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:21,499 Did you take the tags off already? 132 00:05:21,523 --> 00:05:22,938 It's the perfect couch. What are you doing here? 133 00:05:22,962 --> 00:05:25,133 Well, I need to talk to you and my phone's only at five percent. 134 00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:26,787 - Well, why didn't you... - I can't find the charger. 135 00:05:26,811 --> 00:05:28,445 - It's under Winston's pillow. - I looked in Winston's room. 136 00:05:28,469 --> 00:05:30,541 - Did you look under the pillow? - Yeah, yeah. I... 137 00:05:30,565 --> 00:05:31,712 - Yeah. I went in there. I... - No, you didn't. 138 00:05:31,736 --> 00:05:34,317 I didn't look in Winston's room, but I need to talk to you. 139 00:05:34,341 --> 00:05:36,366 An editor wants to publish my book. 140 00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:38,143 Pass immediately and start a bidding war. 141 00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:39,657 I'm getting ahead of myself. Mazel. 142 00:05:39,681 --> 00:05:41,401 - That's incredible, Nick. - Thanks. 143 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,992 I called Jess, but she didn't answer. 144 00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:44,807 I was really hoping to tell her about it, but... 145 00:05:44,831 --> 00:05:46,533 she hung up on me earlier and now she won't pick up the phone. 146 00:05:46,557 --> 00:05:48,557 - What are you doing? - Shh! Shh, shh! 147 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,135 What, what, what? 148 00:05:50,911 --> 00:05:52,892 - Oh, Nick's here? - Shh! You're yelling. 149 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,166 - I'm not yelling. - You're yelling. 150 00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:55,654 You're coming with me to the meeting tomorrow. 151 00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:57,218 I'm picking you up at 9:00 A.M. 152 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,677 - I have to go to the kitchen. - I'll come with. I'm starving. 153 00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:02,131 No. Where are you... 154 00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:04,378 Come to the kitchen with me then, Nick. 155 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:06,729 Wait, why are you crawling? 156 00:06:06,753 --> 00:06:08,510 I don't know. Just go. 157 00:06:12,141 --> 00:06:13,207 Hey, do you have any... 158 00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:14,593 angel hair pasta in here? I don't see it. 159 00:06:14,617 --> 00:06:15,875 Ooh, you know what? Uh... 160 00:06:15,899 --> 00:06:17,619 excuse me, I have to go to the bedroom now. 161 00:06:19,007 --> 00:06:20,296 Jess, this is very stressful. 162 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,641 I know. Look, tomorrow, you need to go to that meeting with Nick 163 00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:24,827 and you need to stay with him until I'm packed. 164 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,948 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, packed? - I just army-crawled... 165 00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:29,849 across your entire house to get away from my ex-boyfriend... 166 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,899 who I still live with. 167 00:06:31,923 --> 00:06:34,047 I-I can't do this anymore. 168 00:06:34,071 --> 00:06:37,412 I need, I need to get out of here and get some space. 169 00:06:38,739 --> 00:06:40,283 I'm moving out of the loft. 170 00:06:40,307 --> 00:06:41,472 What? 171 00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,668 I couldn't find your trash bin, 172 00:06:45,692 --> 00:06:46,994 so I threw it away in the toilet. 173 00:06:47,018 --> 00:06:48,897 - What'd you throw in the toilet? - The, uh, salami in the fridge. 174 00:06:48,921 --> 00:06:50,762 - What? - I didn't flush it. 175 00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,408 So, you're gonna have a bunch of salami 176 00:06:52,432 --> 00:06:54,154 floating around in your toilet bowl. 177 00:06:54,178 --> 00:06:55,404 What? 178 00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:58,945 So Jess is just moving out 179 00:06:58,969 --> 00:07:01,596 because Nick said something dumb at a reading? 180 00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,452 Nick is always dumb. He's the dumbest boy in school. 181 00:07:03,476 --> 00:07:04,988 I had no idea you cared so much about 182 00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:06,478 what happens to Nick and Jess. 183 00:07:06,502 --> 00:07:08,006 How could I not? I've been watching these idiots 184 00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:09,688 do this dance for the last six years. 185 00:07:09,712 --> 00:07:12,097 He's rough and tumble. She's sweet and sassy. 186 00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:14,018 It's the moon and the tides, it's the push and the pull. 187 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,229 I know, it just makes so much sense. 188 00:07:16,253 --> 00:07:17,951 I'm gonna go tell him that she loves him. 189 00:07:18,162 --> 00:07:19,344 I'm gonna go tell him that she loves him, 190 00:07:19,368 --> 00:07:20,526 I'm gonna burst in the door, and I'm gonna say, 191 00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:21,577 "Nick, she loves you," and then... 192 00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:24,066 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We cannot get involved. 193 00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:25,167 Okay. 194 00:07:25,191 --> 00:07:26,238 - Okay? - You're right. 195 00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:27,862 - You're right, okay. - All right. Okay. 196 00:07:29,775 --> 00:07:31,805 - I should've worn shorts. - No, no. 197 00:07:31,829 --> 00:07:33,117 I would've looked amazing in shorts. 198 00:07:33,141 --> 00:07:35,539 I got rid of all the shorts, you nut-ball. 199 00:07:35,979 --> 00:07:38,053 You are really grumpy this morning. 200 00:07:38,077 --> 00:07:40,196 Well, I was up late last night, 201 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:42,451 - talking to Cece about you. - For what? 202 00:07:42,475 --> 00:07:44,797 Nick, I want to tell you something, but... 203 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:46,939 but I can't. 204 00:07:46,963 --> 00:07:48,638 So I'm just gonna ask you this: 205 00:07:48,662 --> 00:07:50,525 why on earth... 206 00:07:50,549 --> 00:07:53,091 do you think that you are so okay... 207 00:07:53,115 --> 00:07:54,169 with this Reagan breakup? 208 00:07:54,193 --> 00:07:56,035 Reagan and I are at different places of our life. 209 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,961 It's fine. Why hasn't Jess called me back? 210 00:07:57,985 --> 00:07:59,102 You guys are pretty good friends, right? 211 00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:00,829 But if you remember correctly, 212 00:08:00,853 --> 00:08:02,749 you didn't even want Jess to move in to the loft. 213 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,003 Nick, why do you think that is? 214 00:08:04,027 --> 00:08:05,943 I'm pretty freaked out by sanitary napkins. 215 00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,258 Why don't you think you wanted Jess to move in to the loft? 216 00:08:08,282 --> 00:08:10,915 I don't know, 'cause I, 'cause I was afraid. 217 00:08:11,585 --> 00:08:13,565 Nick, you have been in love with this girl 218 00:08:13,589 --> 00:08:15,570 from the moment you opened the door 219 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,428 and you first laid eyes on her. 220 00:08:17,944 --> 00:08:20,953 I have never seen you look at anyone else... 221 00:08:20,977 --> 00:08:22,567 like that in my entire life. 222 00:08:22,591 --> 00:08:24,681 Except maybe, on a few occasions, me. 223 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,360 I've never looked at you the same way I look at Jess. 224 00:08:26,384 --> 00:08:28,554 - There's been a few times. - I... there's never been a time. 225 00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:30,247 You looked at Coach maybe once or twice like that. 226 00:08:30,271 --> 00:08:32,637 Me, several times. Winston, never. Let's table it. 227 00:08:32,661 --> 00:08:33,837 You're wrong. 228 00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,830 The first time I saw Jess... 229 00:08:35,854 --> 00:08:37,703 was I was standing in her empty room, 230 00:08:37,727 --> 00:08:38,984 and I was looking out the window. 231 00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,626 - She was trying to get in the building. - Okay. 232 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,348 Pretty hilarious. She didn't have her glasses on, 233 00:08:42,372 --> 00:08:43,698 and she was bumping into stuff. 234 00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:45,447 Will you listen to yourself? 235 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:48,381 I shouldn't be telling you this, but... 236 00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:51,840 Jess is not in Portland. She's here. 237 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,743 And she's packing up her stuff because 238 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,391 she's going to move out of the loft for good. 239 00:08:56,415 --> 00:08:57,557 Nick. 240 00:08:57,581 --> 00:08:59,000 Wait, she's gonna move out of the loft? 241 00:08:59,024 --> 00:09:02,077 For once in your life, don't be afraid. 242 00:09:03,703 --> 00:09:05,519 Ready to come in and talk? 243 00:09:09,661 --> 00:09:12,314 Hello. I'm, uh, Winston Schmidt, 244 00:09:12,338 --> 00:09:14,127 Nick's associate. That's right. 245 00:09:14,151 --> 00:09:16,614 Children's literature just got a brand-new daddy. 246 00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:17,723 What? 247 00:09:17,747 --> 00:09:20,678 Children's literature just got a brand-new daddy. 248 00:09:20,786 --> 00:09:23,522 Don't say that here anymore, okay? Thank you. 249 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,503 So sorry I'm late, 250 00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:30,324 but Sadie would not stop going on about her divorce, 251 00:09:30,348 --> 00:09:31,605 and I was like, "Girl, can you just be quiet 252 00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:32,616 "and look at my vagina, please?" 253 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,324 The fact that we have the same gynecologist 254 00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:35,793 really makes me feel closer to you. 255 00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:37,085 Wait, is this all you have packed? 256 00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:38,778 I mean, Nick's gonna be here in two hours. 257 00:09:38,802 --> 00:09:40,375 - I know. - Hey. 258 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,106 You know what? If this is too hard right now, 259 00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:43,423 you don't have to do this. 260 00:09:43,447 --> 00:09:45,931 Just give yourself some time and think it through. 261 00:09:45,955 --> 00:09:48,555 If my stuff is here, I'll just end up living here again. 262 00:09:48,579 --> 00:09:51,058 You know me; I live where my stuff lives. 263 00:09:51,082 --> 00:09:52,457 When I come back for the school year, 264 00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:54,541 I'll... find a new place. 265 00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:56,236 All right. Well, if we're gonna do this, 266 00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:57,375 then we better get moving. 267 00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:58,814 Yep. My God, I'm gonna miss you so much. 268 00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:00,693 I'm gonna miss you so much, too. 269 00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:01,886 But it's just one summer. It's fine. 270 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:03,181 Okay, I know, but I'm just gonna miss you. 271 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,456 Me, too. 272 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,692 - This is dumb! - It's one summer. 273 00:10:05,716 --> 00:10:06,787 - It's one summer. - It's one summer. It's fine. 274 00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:08,230 We can get through one summer. It's fine. 275 00:10:08,254 --> 00:10:09,356 I'm gonna miss you, like, day-to-day. 276 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,004 Who am I gonna talk to every day? 277 00:10:13,243 --> 00:10:15,761 Mine, mine... is this mine? 278 00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:16,940 Are you collecting things for Goodwill? 279 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,095 I'm not donating things, I'm moving out. 280 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,109 What? 281 00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:22,646 Look, I'm just going to Portland for the summer to get away. 282 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,972 Sure. You go to Portland, have a fun summer, 283 00:10:24,996 --> 00:10:26,626 but then what about after that? 284 00:10:26,842 --> 00:10:29,021 Huh? When will we see you? 285 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,892 Who will your friends be? Who you gonna hang out with? 286 00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:32,364 Okay, think about the people you are leaving behind. 287 00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:34,932 Also, side note, Aly has my dad's number! 288 00:10:34,956 --> 00:10:36,598 - Okay. - Wait, what? 289 00:10:36,622 --> 00:10:39,170 - I got his dad's number. - My dad's name is Van, by the way. 290 00:10:39,194 --> 00:10:41,370 Oh, my God, Winston, that's a huge deal! 291 00:10:41,394 --> 00:10:43,678 - Yeah. Yeah. - Are you gonna call him? 292 00:10:46,632 --> 00:10:47,949 No. 293 00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,553 I can't call my dad. I just can't. 294 00:10:51,577 --> 00:10:52,699 You know what? 295 00:10:52,723 --> 00:10:54,378 You don't have to call him if you don't want to. 296 00:10:54,402 --> 00:10:56,078 You can always just escape to Portland... 297 00:10:56,102 --> 00:10:57,836 Oh, my God! 298 00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,856 You can come with me to Portland! 299 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,041 Furgie's gonna love it. 300 00:11:01,065 --> 00:11:02,568 It's the second most cat-friendly Portland 301 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,525 after Portland, Maine, according to Paws magazine. 302 00:11:04,549 --> 00:11:06,645 - Are you going to Portland? - No. 303 00:11:06,669 --> 00:11:08,450 Portland is hella white. 304 00:11:11,134 --> 00:11:12,421 Ooh. 305 00:11:12,445 --> 00:11:13,717 Sadie. 306 00:11:13,892 --> 00:11:15,029 Hello. 307 00:11:15,053 --> 00:11:17,885 Cece, you're pregnant. 308 00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:25,935 Oh, my God... Cece's pregnant. 309 00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:27,924 Why are you picking up someone else's phone? 310 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,700 Call back in five minutes, and we will agree 311 00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:32,043 to lie to our friend for the rest of our lives. 312 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,615 Oh, God. You're gonna be in my office 313 00:11:33,639 --> 00:11:35,119 throughout the pregnancy, aren't you? 314 00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:37,574 So I am double-parked, so if you got any boxes 315 00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:39,087 I can take down to the car. 316 00:11:40,653 --> 00:11:42,698 What's up? Why are you so happy? 317 00:11:42,722 --> 00:11:44,655 I just love boxes so much. 318 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:45,816 Can I have one to take to the car? 319 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,247 - It's heavy. - I'm fine. 320 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,591 Oh, okay. We can go together. That's fine. 321 00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:51,077 I-I like quality time. 322 00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:54,575 - Oh, you should go get your phone. - No, no, no. 323 00:11:54,599 --> 00:11:55,848 Let's just get this box down. 324 00:11:55,872 --> 00:11:57,359 - Okay. - Hey, can someone grab my phone? 325 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,291 What if it's about your booming model business? 326 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,061 - Hello? - Cece, you're pregnant! 327 00:12:03,085 --> 00:12:04,749 Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant! 328 00:12:04,773 --> 00:12:06,292 - Who the hell is this? - Cece's pregnant? 329 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:08,143 Sorry. I-I'm Aly, Winston's fiancée. 330 00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:09,482 Cece is pregnant? 331 00:12:09,506 --> 00:12:11,480 - Winston's married to Cece. - Winston Bishop. 332 00:12:11,504 --> 00:12:12,567 Cece's pregnant. Cece's pregnant. 333 00:12:12,591 --> 00:12:13,907 Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant, everybody! 334 00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:15,489 Oh, my God. 335 00:12:15,513 --> 00:12:16,694 No need to yell. 336 00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:18,440 Tell Cece to call me. 337 00:12:18,464 --> 00:12:20,261 Got to head back down in the mine. 338 00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:22,927 Hey, can we hustle? I got a hair appointment in an hour. 339 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,751 It's a real upstairs, downstairs kind of day. 340 00:12:24,775 --> 00:12:26,053 Gotcha. 341 00:12:31,379 --> 00:12:33,103 What, Winston? I'm using social media. 342 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,383 Oh, my God, Schmidt. 343 00:12:34,407 --> 00:12:35,988 Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be a papa? 344 00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:37,071 No, no, no, no. 345 00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:38,447 What do you mean, "papa"? What are you talking about? 346 00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:40,239 - Pull the plug. - Sadie told Aly that Cece is pregnant. 347 00:12:40,263 --> 00:12:42,159 - Pull the... pull the plug. - What? Why would she do that? 348 00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:44,693 - 'Cause she pregnant. - Winston, he doesn't know. 349 00:12:46,454 --> 00:12:50,245 Oh, oh, oh, no... Ah... 350 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,366 No... I messed up just now. 351 00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:53,378 W-Winston. 352 00:12:53,402 --> 00:12:55,107 You weren't supposed to know that, so don't know that. 353 00:12:55,131 --> 00:12:57,273 - Is that true? What's going on? - Hey, Schmidt. It's Jess. 354 00:12:57,297 --> 00:12:59,348 I'm so sorry. I picked up Cece's phone, it was Sadie, 355 00:12:59,372 --> 00:13:02,063 and she told me the news, and now everybody knows but Cece. 356 00:13:02,087 --> 00:13:03,567 So I'm gonna send her home. 357 00:13:03,591 --> 00:13:07,173 Okay, okay, but Jess, um... Plea... 358 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,962 Is it true? 359 00:13:08,986 --> 00:13:10,552 Yeah. It's true. 360 00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,262 Just get home. 361 00:13:12,286 --> 00:13:13,884 She needs to hear it from you. 362 00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:17,474 Miracle of miracles! 363 00:13:17,498 --> 00:13:19,130 Finally got a parking spot. 364 00:13:19,309 --> 00:13:20,606 Why y'all just staring at me? 365 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:22,620 Just really happy you found that spot. 366 00:13:22,644 --> 00:13:24,777 Man, people wait their whole lives looking for a spot. 367 00:13:24,801 --> 00:13:25,999 Thank you. 368 00:13:26,023 --> 00:13:27,918 And here, you've been blessed. 369 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,393 With a spot. 370 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,351 Okay, so I do have a few changes. 371 00:13:34,375 --> 00:13:35,568 Take or leave. 372 00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:38,255 What if we kill off Jessica Night in the next book? 373 00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:39,474 What? 374 00:13:39,498 --> 00:13:41,732 I was thinking that she could be Schmith's next victim. 375 00:13:41,756 --> 00:13:43,000 We could do it in a big way, 376 00:13:43,024 --> 00:13:45,014 like, he drops a piano on her head. 377 00:13:45,038 --> 00:13:46,852 - Done-zo. - What? 378 00:13:46,876 --> 00:13:48,815 Maybe she takes a baseball right to the face. 379 00:13:48,839 --> 00:13:49,863 Batter out! 380 00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,924 - Have you ever done this before? - Yes, actually. 381 00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,035 I published the entire Bitch Witch series. 382 00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:56,365 Bitch Witch Christmas, Bitch Witch Prom Night, 383 00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:58,802 - and Bitch Witches of Rhode Island. - Yeah. Okay. 384 00:13:58,826 --> 00:14:00,806 Look, Nick, I-I get 385 00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:02,684 that you're afraid to make changes. 386 00:14:03,985 --> 00:14:05,689 Actually, I'm not afraid. 387 00:14:07,322 --> 00:14:09,645 Okay, then you'll think about it. 388 00:14:13,031 --> 00:14:14,693 No, I'm not gonna make those changes 389 00:14:14,717 --> 00:14:16,903 because those-those ideas are really bad. 390 00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:18,511 - Well, I... - Jessica Night is the whole reason 391 00:14:18,535 --> 00:14:21,285 Pepperwood gets out of bed every day. 392 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:22,508 Schmidt?! 393 00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:24,499 You were right! Schmidt? 394 00:14:24,523 --> 00:14:25,656 Uh, he had to go, 395 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,303 but he left the name and number of his favorite Uber driver, 396 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,601 uh, Beezus "The Man" Tequito. 397 00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:32,271 All right. 398 00:14:32,295 --> 00:14:33,647 Mr. Beezus. 399 00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:35,311 Mr. Schmidt likes to party. 400 00:14:35,335 --> 00:14:36,894 You like to party? 401 00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:38,863 Oh, very cool lights. 402 00:14:38,887 --> 00:14:41,323 But, no, uh, Beezus, I... I don't like to party... 403 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,055 It's not the first time I've heard that. 404 00:14:43,079 --> 00:14:44,143 I'm gonna go see a girl. 405 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,941 - Oh, good for you. - Yeah. 406 00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,447 Want to hear some music? 407 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:49,260 Sure, yeah, that could be inspiring. 408 00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:50,799 ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ 409 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,196 ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ 410 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:53,839 ♪ One a penny, two a penny ♪ 411 00:14:53,863 --> 00:14:55,876 ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ 412 00:14:58,727 --> 00:15:00,043 Second chorus. 413 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,423 ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ 414 00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:02,545 Yeah, I cannot believe Schmidt likes this. 415 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,802 ♪ Good when they're old ♪ 416 00:15:03,826 --> 00:15:05,025 ♪ But eat them when you can ♪ 417 00:15:05,049 --> 00:15:07,762 ♪ They're not as good when they're cold ♪ 418 00:15:07,786 --> 00:15:09,512 ♪ Hot cross buns ♪ 419 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:18,448 Last box in the truck. Mm. 420 00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:20,770 I haven't seen this room this empty since Steve left. 421 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:21,871 Who's Steve? 422 00:15:21,895 --> 00:15:23,811 Oh, he was the guy who lived in this room before Jess. 423 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,179 Real night screamer. 424 00:15:25,203 --> 00:15:27,708 He couldn't sleep unless he was screaming a whole bunch. Yeah. 425 00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:30,001 Oh, I guess I should give you my keys. 426 00:15:30,025 --> 00:15:32,316 Are you really not gonna tell Nick how you feel? 427 00:15:33,648 --> 00:15:35,513 That's such a Steve move. 428 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:36,595 Steve was in love with Nick? 429 00:15:36,619 --> 00:15:38,460 Oh, yeah, and he never told him. 430 00:15:38,484 --> 00:15:40,258 That... sweet, gay coward. 431 00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:42,878 Maybe Steve left this place and-and... 432 00:15:42,902 --> 00:15:46,041 and finally got the space that he needed to... 433 00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:47,986 become a better version of himself. 434 00:15:48,010 --> 00:15:49,346 Yeah, I mean, he's selling tires in Little Rock. 435 00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,769 Okay, well, forget Steve. Look, I know I'm being a coward. 436 00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:53,347 Jess, I know you. 437 00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,872 You can't walk away without talking to him. 438 00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:58,262 This is how I have to move on, and... 439 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:00,345 I have to go. 440 00:16:01,386 --> 00:16:03,246 - Let's get on the road. - Okay. 441 00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:07,434 Wait. 442 00:16:17,674 --> 00:16:19,495 You've reached Van. Leave a message. 443 00:16:22,952 --> 00:16:24,243 Hello, Van. 444 00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,563 This is Winston Bishop. 445 00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:27,908 I'm your son. 446 00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,121 I'm calling to tell you that I am getting married 447 00:16:30,145 --> 00:16:33,352 to the most amazing woman in the world. 448 00:16:34,236 --> 00:16:37,337 And I turned out pretty great, too, so, um... 449 00:16:37,361 --> 00:16:39,224 call me whenever you're ready. 450 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,859 Oh, also, I have a cat. 451 00:16:40,883 --> 00:16:42,898 He's not ready to have a relationship with you, 452 00:16:42,922 --> 00:16:45,212 so just don't try to force it on him. 453 00:16:47,946 --> 00:16:51,538 Yeah, so... now it's your turn. 454 00:16:51,562 --> 00:16:53,234 Be brave. 455 00:16:53,761 --> 00:16:55,118 I can't. 456 00:16:55,142 --> 00:16:56,548 I'm sorry. 457 00:17:01,891 --> 00:17:03,973 Hey, babe, I'm back. Whew! 458 00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:08,101 What's, uh... 459 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:10,949 what's happening? 460 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:12,642 I'm pregnant. 461 00:17:12,938 --> 00:17:15,250 - What? - I mean, you're pregnant. 462 00:17:15,274 --> 00:17:16,853 We're pregnant. 463 00:17:16,988 --> 00:17:20,889 Sadie called you, and-and Jess picked up, 464 00:17:20,913 --> 00:17:22,834 then she called again and Winston picked up, 465 00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:24,146 Winston told me. 466 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,100 It's an upsetting scene, but, um, 467 00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:27,881 we're having a baby, Cece. 468 00:17:28,638 --> 00:17:29,888 I wanted to buy you flowers, 469 00:17:29,912 --> 00:17:31,546 but I couldn't pick out... 470 00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:34,920 which ones, so... We're having a baby? 471 00:17:34,944 --> 00:17:36,708 We're having a baby. 472 00:17:37,382 --> 00:17:39,128 We're having a baby. 473 00:17:41,418 --> 00:17:43,578 I really didn't think it was gonna happen for us. 474 00:17:43,602 --> 00:17:44,945 It's a caramel miracle. 475 00:17:54,182 --> 00:17:56,005 Don't forget to give me five stars! 476 00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,650 Three and a half! Thanks, Beezus! 477 00:17:57,674 --> 00:17:59,144 Hey, let's turn on some music. 478 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,316 - Oldies station okay, everybody? - ♪ The time of my life... ♪ 479 00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:06,110 I think I'd be really happy working as a mover. 480 00:18:06,246 --> 00:18:09,266 I like the gloves, I like the excitement. 481 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,798 ♪ It's the truth ♪ 482 00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:14,339 ♪ And I owe it all to you... ♪ 483 00:18:14,363 --> 00:18:16,104 Sit back and watch the job get done. 484 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,499 Winston's right. 485 00:18:17,523 --> 00:18:18,930 Portland, huh? 486 00:18:18,954 --> 00:18:20,668 Land of the muskrat. 487 00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:22,364 - Pull over! - I mean, I'm in the middle... 488 00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:23,986 - Just pull over. - We're in traffic and we're parked! 489 00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,180 I was just trying to, you know... okay, I'll go up. 490 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,919 I'll go up a few blocks, that's fine. 491 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,624 Jess? 492 00:18:44,392 --> 00:18:47,410 Can anyone help me get in the building?! 493 00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:48,686 Hey, dog! 494 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,528 Can you bark for someone? 495 00:18:51,148 --> 00:18:52,330 Bark, dog! 496 00:18:52,354 --> 00:18:53,568 Bark! 497 00:18:56,682 --> 00:18:59,297 Ah! Screw you. 498 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:03,278 Can anyone help me get in the building?! 499 00:19:03,302 --> 00:19:05,106 I gave away my key! 500 00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,412 Anyone? 501 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:07,888 Jess! 502 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,598 Hang on, I'm coming down! 503 00:19:21,147 --> 00:19:23,014 Oh, hey, hold the door. Thanks. 504 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,640 Now you find your voice? 505 00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:29,826 Come on, come on, come on. 506 00:19:35,513 --> 00:19:36,758 Come on. 507 00:19:52,604 --> 00:19:54,288 Jess, where'd you go?! 508 00:19:54,312 --> 00:19:55,944 - Jess! - Nick! 509 00:19:55,968 --> 00:19:57,249 Why are you down there? 510 00:19:57,273 --> 00:19:59,062 Stay right there! 511 00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:04,427 Come on, come on. 512 00:20:11,898 --> 00:20:13,381 Oh, come on, please go faster. 513 00:20:13,405 --> 00:20:14,910 I gotta tell my best friend I'm in love with her. 514 00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,962 Shower first. I've never seen anyone sweat so much. 515 00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:18,670 You take a shower. You smell terrible. 516 00:20:18,694 --> 00:20:20,506 - You smell terrible! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 517 00:20:23,406 --> 00:20:25,002 Hey, Miller. 518 00:20:25,026 --> 00:20:26,357 Hey.