1 00:00:00,203 --> 00:00:02,234 Well, this is the last of Robby's stuff. 2 00:00:02,283 --> 00:00:03,321 How you doing with the breakup? 3 00:00:03,346 --> 00:00:05,446 Really well, since we're related, 4 00:00:05,515 --> 00:00:08,750 and all the laws of nature say we should not be together. 5 00:00:08,818 --> 00:00:09,984 If you guys need me today, 6 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,096 I'll be in my room rearranging my furniture 7 00:00:12,121 --> 00:00:13,354 so it no longer resembles a place 8 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,516 where I made out with my cousin. 9 00:00:15,541 --> 00:00:16,583 - Third cousin. - Still. 10 00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:17,959 - Ugh, barely better. - Ew. 11 00:00:17,994 --> 00:00:19,394 - Don't normalize it, Jess. - Ugh. 12 00:00:19,462 --> 00:00:21,207 - You're right, you're right. - Ugh. 13 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:23,402 Hey, Nick. 14 00:00:23,427 --> 00:00:26,134 Are you wearing your running bottoms and your hoodie? 15 00:00:26,169 --> 00:00:27,949 Nick, are you going running? 16 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,309 Have fun. 17 00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:33,808 Oh, my God. What is wrong with Nick, Reagan? 18 00:00:33,877 --> 00:00:34,909 Yeah, what happened? Are you guys okay? 19 00:00:34,978 --> 00:00:37,029 Nick is going for a run. 20 00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,281 If anything, we should be asking what is right with Nick. 21 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:40,848 He only goes running if he's upset. 22 00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:41,950 And he's wearing his sad hoodie. 23 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,489 And by the looks of it, it's been washed, 24 00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,596 which is bone-chilling. 25 00:00:44,621 --> 00:00:45,991 He's fine. Everything's okay. 26 00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:48,891 I just passed Nick on the street running, 27 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,118 on purpose! 28 00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:51,548 Oh, my God! 29 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:52,782 Maybe I was wrong. 30 00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:54,977 Nick! Are you okay?! 31 00:00:55,002 --> 00:00:56,720 I see you! 32 00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:58,262 And I love you! 33 00:00:58,287 --> 00:01:01,612 In my defense, no one here emotes in a normal way. 34 00:01:01,638 --> 00:01:02,870 - That's fair. - Nick! 35 00:01:04,262 --> 00:01:06,690 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:10,291 How's the boba? 37 00:01:12,081 --> 00:01:13,659 It's fine. 38 00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:18,127 Why are you making so much eye contact with us? 39 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,391 Oh, you're gonna ask us for something, aren't you? 40 00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:23,844 The boba is a metaphor. 41 00:01:23,899 --> 00:01:27,234 Aly is the tapioca pearl to my milky matcha, 42 00:01:27,302 --> 00:01:30,906 each made better by the unlikely presence of the other. 43 00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:32,508 I think you know what I'm saying... 44 00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:33,571 We have absolutely no idea. 45 00:01:33,596 --> 00:01:34,698 I haven't known what you've been saying 46 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,521 for three and a half years. 47 00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,258 I'm asking Aly to marry me. 48 00:01:38,283 --> 00:01:39,330 - What?! - Whoa! 49 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:41,047 - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, my gosh! 50 00:01:41,072 --> 00:01:43,172 - Winston. My man! - Yeah. 51 00:01:43,197 --> 00:01:44,689 Yes. 52 00:01:44,714 --> 00:01:47,020 And I'm gonna need your help with the process. 53 00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,823 Now, keep this between us. I am only telling you two. 54 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:51,292 - Yeah, we won't say a word. Yeah. - Whatever you need. 55 00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:53,917 Meet me at the bar in one hour, okay? 56 00:01:53,964 --> 00:01:55,387 Look fresh. 57 00:01:55,464 --> 00:01:58,315 We'll discuss details. I'm gonna need you for the entire day. 58 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,417 - We're with you. - Yes. 59 00:01:59,442 --> 00:02:01,337 Little Winnie is growing up. 60 00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:03,919 First he's a husband and then maybe one day 61 00:02:03,972 --> 00:02:05,338 he could be a father... 62 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:06,518 One day? 63 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,011 I am a father. 64 00:02:08,651 --> 00:02:11,077 - It's a cat, Winston. - He's my blood. 65 00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:12,913 I am never gonna figure him out. 66 00:02:12,981 --> 00:02:15,582 I feel like I found a forest baby, 67 00:02:15,651 --> 00:02:17,517 and I don't know when it's hungry or in pain 68 00:02:17,586 --> 00:02:18,924 or afraid of the kitchen light. 69 00:02:18,949 --> 00:02:20,175 I know. 70 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,323 Nick is just an enigma wrapped up in a bunch of Chicago Bears crap. 71 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:25,347 You need the help of a seasoned vet. 72 00:02:25,372 --> 00:02:26,893 Come in! 73 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:28,902 - Hey, Nick. - Hey. 74 00:02:28,927 --> 00:02:30,205 You feeling upset about something? 75 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:32,715 No. I'm just eating edamame. 76 00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:42,139 Give me the cup. 77 00:02:42,164 --> 00:02:44,277 - They taste so bad. - That's what I thought. 78 00:02:44,346 --> 00:02:46,796 I submitted The Pepperwood Chronicles to a publishing company, 79 00:02:46,821 --> 00:02:48,825 and I got the rejection letter today. 80 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:51,012 - My career is over. - No, it's not. 81 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,385 Nick, someday you'll be talking 82 00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:55,626 to a reanimated Oprah about that book. 83 00:02:55,977 --> 00:02:57,223 Have you talked to Reagan about this? 84 00:02:57,292 --> 00:02:58,883 I bet she'd be awesome to talk to. 85 00:02:58,908 --> 00:03:00,516 No, I am too embarrassed. 86 00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:02,929 Nick, she's your girlfriend. You have to let her in. 87 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,398 Don't just keep her in the perfect front room. 88 00:03:05,423 --> 00:03:06,689 - Okay. - Let her in the back, 89 00:03:06,714 --> 00:03:07,858 with the weird rooms 90 00:03:07,903 --> 00:03:10,403 and the-the dead bulbs and the wet walls. 91 00:03:10,472 --> 00:03:13,039 All right, but I'm not letting her go anywhere near my crawl space. 92 00:03:13,108 --> 00:03:15,743 I don't think you should let anyone near your crawl space. 93 00:03:15,768 --> 00:03:18,508 Well, some people have to go to the crawl space to clean out the boxes. 94 00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,735 Who cleans out the boxes? 95 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,337 Significant other. 96 00:03:22,563 --> 00:03:24,087 What are you talking about? 97 00:03:24,352 --> 00:03:26,619 Hey. I have the scoop. 98 00:03:26,688 --> 00:03:29,022 Nick's book got rejected, and he's really embarrassed. 99 00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:31,458 So now the baton... 100 00:03:31,526 --> 00:03:34,461 ♪ has been passed... ♪ 101 00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:43,670 ... to you. 102 00:03:43,695 --> 00:03:45,133 You own an actual baton? 103 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,673 It was Robby's. 104 00:03:46,742 --> 00:03:50,352 He was really into competitive male twirling. 105 00:03:50,586 --> 00:03:52,805 - I have so many questions... - No. 106 00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:53,992 First, thank you 107 00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:56,616 for coming to this very special event. 108 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:59,816 Might I just add that everyone looks fresh. 109 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:01,224 Now, when Aly gets here, 110 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:03,003 I am going to suggest an activity 111 00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:04,667 for the four of us to do. 112 00:04:04,692 --> 00:04:06,459 Then I'll gracefully back out, 113 00:04:06,528 --> 00:04:08,817 leaving the two of you to distract her, 114 00:04:08,842 --> 00:04:10,833 as I prepare for... 115 00:04:10,927 --> 00:04:12,098 the show. 116 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:13,443 Ooh, I got a scream 117 00:04:13,468 --> 00:04:14,472 and nowhere to put it. 118 00:04:14,497 --> 00:04:15,559 Ooh, this is exciting. 119 00:04:15,584 --> 00:04:18,438 Now, at an undisclosed time, I will place a call to Aly, 120 00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:22,275 informing her that my car has broken down in Malibu, 121 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:26,247 where I'll be waiting with a beautiful and glorious picnic 122 00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:28,557 right next to her favorite plant... 123 00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:30,692 ... the common cactus. 124 00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:32,365 Here comes that scream. Oh, my God, there she is. 125 00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:34,628 Oh, I'm screaming already. Aly! 126 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:35,544 - Hey. - Hey, hey. 127 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:36,747 Hey, hey. 128 00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:38,755 Hi. 129 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,433 Strange energy, guys. 130 00:04:44,890 --> 00:04:47,094 We all had bubbly water. It made us giggle. 131 00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:49,444 - What's up? What's up? What's up? - Hi. Hello. 132 00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:51,984 - What's up? - Hi. Hello. 133 00:04:52,469 --> 00:04:53,478 Hello. 134 00:04:53,503 --> 00:04:55,385 Anyway, uh, Schmidt and Cece asked us 135 00:04:55,410 --> 00:04:56,827 to help paint their house. 136 00:04:56,852 --> 00:04:58,483 - Paint our house? - Paint the house. 137 00:04:58,508 --> 00:05:00,146 Remember? That's the activity for all of us to do. 138 00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:01,531 You know, 'cause you wanted... you wanted... 139 00:05:01,556 --> 00:05:04,517 Paint the house. Paint the house. Yes, we... did. 140 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,859 Even though the majority of our house is already painted. 141 00:05:07,884 --> 00:05:10,390 We wanted our best friends to finish it. 142 00:05:10,459 --> 00:05:12,211 Not professionals. 143 00:05:12,236 --> 00:05:14,532 Like, uh... like our new home was some tree house 144 00:05:14,557 --> 00:05:16,086 in a Little League baseball movie. 145 00:05:16,131 --> 00:05:17,852 I mean, I-I've never done it before, but... 146 00:05:17,877 --> 00:05:19,195 Sounds like a yes to me. 147 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:21,063 Aw, snap, just remembered, 148 00:05:21,248 --> 00:05:22,614 I can't make it. 149 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,194 - Uh, uh, boo. - Uh... 150 00:05:26,219 --> 00:05:27,756 - Yeah. - Boy, that's a bummer. 151 00:05:27,781 --> 00:05:29,500 - Shock. So fast. - Shoot. 152 00:05:29,525 --> 00:05:31,313 - Ugh. - But, you know, 153 00:05:31,777 --> 00:05:33,284 boo. 154 00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:37,009 What up, boy in the hood? 155 00:05:37,034 --> 00:05:38,284 I thought you were gonna talk to Reagan. 156 00:05:38,353 --> 00:05:40,320 I tried, but she's been on her phone all day 157 00:05:40,388 --> 00:05:42,581 like a grandpa who missed a package. 158 00:05:42,614 --> 00:05:44,339 Like... "Hel..." 159 00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:45,724 I'm not even gonna do it. 160 00:05:45,749 --> 00:05:49,198 Yes. Thank you so much. We will be there. Thanks. 161 00:05:49,386 --> 00:05:52,732 Nick, I know that dumb publisher rejected your book. 162 00:05:52,801 --> 00:05:54,734 And, guess what, that publisher can go to hell. 163 00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:56,736 After you beat them to death with this baton 164 00:05:56,805 --> 00:05:58,316 that I weirdly still have. 165 00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,666 Because you don't need a publisher. 166 00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:03,243 You need a girlfriend who found a bookstore... 167 00:06:03,278 --> 00:06:04,376 to sell Pepperwood. 168 00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:05,908 Seriously? 169 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,510 That's amazing. That's amazing! 170 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,548 I called all over and I finally found one. 171 00:06:09,573 --> 00:06:10,736 Reagan saved the day! 172 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,398 - You're amazing. - That's right. 173 00:06:12,423 --> 00:06:14,251 All we need is, uh, 30 copies of the book. 174 00:06:14,276 --> 00:06:15,412 Oh, well, we can make them. 175 00:06:15,437 --> 00:06:17,619 I mean, it'll be hard, but we could do it. 176 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,025 We could do it. We'll make 'em ourselves. 177 00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:22,313 Fantastic. Uh, we just need 'em by tonight for his big reading. 178 00:06:22,524 --> 00:06:23,930 Excuse me, did you say "big..." 179 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,861 - "a big reading tonight"? - Yeah. 180 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,603 Well, that sounds... 181 00:06:27,628 --> 00:06:28,640 public. 182 00:06:28,665 --> 00:06:30,525 Well, I mean, he's got to do a reading to sell the book. 183 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,650 - Is that bad? - Is that bad? 184 00:06:31,675 --> 00:06:32,782 No, it's good. I get... 185 00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:35,984 I get to do a reading tonight in front of people. 186 00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:37,310 - Yeah. - I get to read in front 187 00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,432 of a bunch of people who are gonna judge me. 188 00:06:39,729 --> 00:06:41,659 This is not bad. This is good. This is... 189 00:06:41,684 --> 00:06:43,581 See, this is another thing that Nick does 190 00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:44,659 when he's upset. 191 00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:45,785 At least he's not running. 192 00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:53,385 So you want me to read in front of people. 193 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:56,875 You want me to read in front of living people... 194 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,504 who are there to hear me read. 195 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:02,465 And how will I... how will I even know what to read? 196 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,082 - You're gonna read your book. - I'll read my book. Fine. 197 00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,114 This is good. I'm fine. 198 00:07:05,139 --> 00:07:06,808 Don't worry about me. I'm fine. 199 00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:08,580 Oh, I feel like my heart is pumping out 200 00:07:08,605 --> 00:07:10,332 scalding hot toilet water. 201 00:07:10,357 --> 00:07:11,825 See, a vivid description like that 202 00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:13,222 is gonna make the audience go wild. 203 00:07:13,247 --> 00:07:15,047 Ah, the audience! I just forgot the audience, 204 00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:16,449 and now I remember the audience. 205 00:07:16,517 --> 00:07:18,199 I can't do this. I can't do it. I can't do it. 206 00:07:18,224 --> 00:07:19,614 All right, here it is... 207 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,096 The Pepperwood Chronicles. 208 00:07:21,121 --> 00:07:22,754 I made a prototype. 209 00:07:22,779 --> 00:07:24,590 Jess, that looks fantastic! 210 00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,379 - That looks really good. - How did you do that? 211 00:07:27,404 --> 00:07:30,012 Oh, that's between me and my craft wagon. 212 00:07:30,332 --> 00:07:31,430 I wrote you. 213 00:07:31,499 --> 00:07:33,065 Hey, um, how's he doing? 214 00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:34,500 - Not very good. - Hmm. 215 00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:35,777 And if I'm being honest with you, 216 00:07:35,802 --> 00:07:37,668 I'm starting to freak out now. 217 00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:39,637 This is me freaking out. 218 00:07:39,662 --> 00:07:41,941 Do I sometimes wonder if you're a robot? 219 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:44,137 - Yeah. - I've made you! 220 00:07:44,613 --> 00:07:46,440 - You're of me. - When Nick gets like this, 221 00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,613 he needs to be occupied. 222 00:07:47,638 --> 00:07:49,438 Luckily, we have tons of books to make. 223 00:07:49,463 --> 00:07:51,893 - It's got my name in it. - Book time! 224 00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:54,020 Gather around, my little Guttenbergs! 225 00:07:54,055 --> 00:07:55,543 Here we go. 226 00:07:55,824 --> 00:07:58,487 Hey, Jess, can I borrow your cactus gloves? 227 00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,558 Ooh! 228 00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:01,027 Making books, huh? 229 00:08:01,062 --> 00:08:03,195 ♪ Butterfly in the sky ♪ 230 00:08:03,256 --> 00:08:05,887 ♪ I can fly twice as high ♪ 231 00:08:06,012 --> 00:08:07,426 ♪ Take a look ♪ 232 00:08:07,451 --> 00:08:08,877 ♪ It's in a book. ♪ 233 00:08:08,902 --> 00:08:09,902 Ah, you know the rest. 234 00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:11,304 Just, we put... we put 'em there. 235 00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:13,252 Backing away from an active craft project. 236 00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,691 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 237 00:08:14,716 --> 00:08:17,343 No. Um, Reagan's a little insecure 238 00:08:17,412 --> 00:08:19,645 about being there for Nick. 239 00:08:19,714 --> 00:08:21,314 - So I want her to have this. - Oh. 240 00:08:21,382 --> 00:08:23,182 - Wow. I'm proud of you. - Yeah. 241 00:08:23,251 --> 00:08:24,917 Thanks. 242 00:08:24,942 --> 00:08:26,608 This is where you give me the cactus gloves. 243 00:08:28,558 --> 00:08:29,855 This is really soothing. 244 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,190 You're a natural. 245 00:08:31,225 --> 00:08:32,625 She's terrible. 246 00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:33,957 She's ruining our bedroom. 247 00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:35,882 It's like she's begrudgingly covering up graffiti. 248 00:08:35,907 --> 00:08:37,663 Oh, there's a couple rough patches, 249 00:08:37,732 --> 00:08:40,232 but... that's what posters are for. 250 00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:41,746 Just calm down, okay? We can fix it later, 251 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,808 but we have to keep her in here for Winston. 252 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,166 Hey. Since we're doing this, I got to say, 253 00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:47,606 do not like the color of your bathroom. 254 00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:48,598 You know what? 255 00:08:48,623 --> 00:08:51,234 Now that I think about it, me either. 256 00:08:51,259 --> 00:08:52,845 - What?! - Let's do that next. 257 00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:55,047 - Great. - It's special order robin's egg. 258 00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:57,083 - It's just paint! - It's not just paint. 259 00:08:57,151 --> 00:08:58,481 Hey, guys... 260 00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:00,752 as much as I love a good whisper fight, 261 00:09:00,777 --> 00:09:02,051 - I should go. - Oh, no! No, no, no. 262 00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:04,690 - You, uh, can not leave. - Why not? 263 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,340 Because we can't be alone together. 264 00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,699 - Because...? - Because... 265 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,652 because... 266 00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:16,824 we're having marital problems. 267 00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:22,585 That's... secret, 268 00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:24,009 which is part of our marital problem. 269 00:09:24,078 --> 00:09:26,345 She's got a big mouth, but a great can. 270 00:09:26,381 --> 00:09:28,614 Which is also part of our marital problems. 271 00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:29,672 I objectify her. 272 00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:31,352 See. I knew something was up. 273 00:09:31,377 --> 00:09:32,875 Everyone was like, "They're so perfect!" 274 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:35,588 And I was like, "No. Something in that relationship 275 00:09:35,656 --> 00:09:38,352 "is very, very broken." 276 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,435 Hey, Nick. Where's Reagan? 277 00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:44,430 Getting more glue. We ran out. 278 00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,293 How many did you get done? 279 00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:47,709 One... 280 00:09:47,734 --> 00:09:49,303 and I think we did it wrong. 281 00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,537 It doesn't look right to me. 282 00:09:50,562 --> 00:09:52,966 Your reading's in three hours! It... 283 00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,275 Let's make some books! I think I have some really good glue 284 00:09:56,344 --> 00:09:57,743 in my non-mobile craft cart. 285 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,641 - You're gonna help me? - Yeah! 286 00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:00,998 Let's do it. 287 00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:06,318 God, this glue works great! 288 00:10:06,343 --> 00:10:08,482 Oh, it smells great, too! 289 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:10,091 It really does. 290 00:10:15,563 --> 00:10:17,696 Oh, I love the smell of new books! 291 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:18,935 Yeah, me, too. 292 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,279 Mmm! New, new books. 293 00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:21,858 New, new books! 294 00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:24,248 Oh! Can I tell you something? I feel great right now. 295 00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:26,723 I feel very good. I feel very confident. 296 00:10:26,748 --> 00:10:29,482 - I am ready for that read. - I think you're gonna crush it. 297 00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:30,857 I think I'll read the whole book in about two minutes. 298 00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:31,896 Yeah. Just get in there. You'll... 299 00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:35,080 - What? - What? 300 00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:36,920 - What? - What? 301 00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:40,453 And people are gonna go nuts. 302 00:10:40,521 --> 00:10:42,354 They're gonna be like, "Yes, yes, we love this book." 303 00:10:42,423 --> 00:10:43,789 And they're gonna just buy every copy, 304 00:10:43,858 --> 00:10:45,624 and then you're gonna have to, like, print more. 305 00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:47,682 - That's what's gonna happen. - Does your hair always look like that? 306 00:10:47,707 --> 00:10:48,707 Yeah. 307 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,450 Do you have brown hair? 308 00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,098 - Definitely. - Why didn't you tell me? 309 00:10:53,134 --> 00:10:54,867 It's a secret. 310 00:10:58,796 --> 00:11:00,339 Check this out. I'm gonna birth this book. 311 00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:03,247 - Here you go. It's a baby book. - Oh! 312 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,691 Congratulations! 313 00:11:05,716 --> 00:11:07,693 - It's a paperback! - Hey, guys. 314 00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:09,105 - Reagan! - Reagan! 315 00:11:09,157 --> 00:11:11,090 - Reagan. - Reagan...! 316 00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:15,136 Sorry that took so long. 317 00:11:15,161 --> 00:11:17,223 I got stuck behind this, uh, lady at the craft store 318 00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:19,859 that was buying 700 individually-priced buttons. 319 00:11:19,927 --> 00:11:21,948 - Mm. - Oh, they said to say hi to you. 320 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,331 - Hi. - And I got you a new shirt, Nick. 321 00:11:24,356 --> 00:11:25,418 Oh, isn't that nice. 322 00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:27,431 Phew! What the hell is that smell, you guys? 323 00:11:27,456 --> 00:11:29,612 - We made a library! - Mm. 324 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,034 Is this the glue? 325 00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:32,753 It comes from my private collection. 326 00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:34,027 - Mm-hmm. - It's very strong. 327 00:11:34,052 --> 00:11:35,111 You guys are so high. 328 00:11:35,136 --> 00:11:36,511 - How dare you? - How dare you? 329 00:11:36,536 --> 00:11:38,120 - I'm not high at all. - You're high. 330 00:11:39,761 --> 00:11:40,972 Whoa! 331 00:11:45,659 --> 00:11:48,527 You guys, this says to use this in an open field. 332 00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:51,010 It specifically says that a backyard is too small. 333 00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:52,628 - You're a backyard. - Very good. 334 00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:55,840 - I think I should cancel this reading. - No way! 335 00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:58,150 I am in. I feel great for the reading. 336 00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:00,182 Let me just buckle up my shirt. 337 00:12:00,207 --> 00:12:02,078 Well, the problem with this author shirt 338 00:12:02,103 --> 00:12:03,138 is that it's made of honey. 339 00:12:03,163 --> 00:12:04,574 - It's not... - This shirt is too sticky. 340 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,943 - It's because there's glue on your... - 'Cause it's made of honey, so... 341 00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:07,807 I'm canceling. 342 00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:09,793 You cannot do a reading in this condition. 343 00:12:09,818 --> 00:12:11,417 No! Don't cancel the reading! 344 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:13,338 You worked so hard to get it! 345 00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:17,089 I got a backpack full of Pepperwoods, and I'm ready. 346 00:12:20,371 --> 00:12:21,605 - Oh! - Aah! 347 00:12:21,630 --> 00:12:22,642 Jess, I'm coming! 348 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,511 Reagan, call shotgun. 349 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:29,292 Are you pulling? 350 00:12:29,317 --> 00:12:31,300 - I can't feel you pulling. - Let me get your legs! 351 00:12:31,325 --> 00:12:32,957 Please don't drag her. 352 00:12:35,832 --> 00:12:36,976 Winston, where are you? 353 00:12:37,045 --> 00:12:40,046 We are freaking out in increasingly weird ways. 354 00:12:40,114 --> 00:12:43,675 I'm at a costume shop, getting ready for the big proposal. 355 00:12:43,753 --> 00:12:45,330 A costume shop? 356 00:12:45,355 --> 00:12:46,744 All in good time. 357 00:12:46,821 --> 00:12:48,379 Now, listen, when I text you, 358 00:12:48,404 --> 00:12:50,392 I need you to bring Aly to Malibu, okay? 359 00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:52,375 I don't want the two of us to drive back separately. 360 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,033 Plus, I want to make out at red lights. 361 00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:55,202 Okay, Winston. Just how much longer? 362 00:12:55,227 --> 00:12:56,230 This is very important to me. 363 00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,488 If you mess this up, you ruin my life, okay? 364 00:12:57,535 --> 00:12:58,683 - No, Winston. Uh, uh... - Okay, bye! 365 00:12:58,708 --> 00:13:00,369 No. No, no, no. Uh... 366 00:13:00,606 --> 00:13:01,939 Ooh! 367 00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,373 So many marital problems we have. 368 00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:06,557 My baby's got a real sweet tooth. 369 00:13:06,582 --> 00:13:08,262 Just the other day, she ate an entire sleeve 370 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,947 of pecan sandies... 371 00:13:09,972 --> 00:13:12,027 and punched the top right off 372 00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,332 of a parking meter. 373 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:14,679 It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. 374 00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:16,971 She yells at me constantly and... 375 00:13:18,363 --> 00:13:20,683 there's one time where she tipped over a table. 376 00:13:23,431 --> 00:13:26,066 He gambled away another paycheck. 377 00:13:26,091 --> 00:13:27,498 Oh, no! 378 00:13:27,535 --> 00:13:29,863 It's the ponies. I'm addicted. 379 00:13:29,888 --> 00:13:31,324 - Right, right, right. - It's true. 380 00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:33,950 All the money that he wins on gambling, 381 00:13:33,975 --> 00:13:36,128 - he puts up his nose. - Oh. 382 00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:37,441 It's cocaine now, as well. 383 00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:38,785 - Love me the ca-caine. - Ah, yeah. 384 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,894 Feel invisible when I do it. 385 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,589 This feels like some sort of weird foreplay. 386 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,217 - I'm out of here. - Wait. No. Aly, please. Um... 387 00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:46,855 Don't leave me with this rage monster. 388 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,191 Oh, yeah. You... I mean, you want to see a rage monster? 389 00:13:49,216 --> 00:13:51,222 You want me to show her the rage monster? 390 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,480 - Well, here you go. - No! 391 00:13:53,505 --> 00:13:55,042 - Just... - Gosh darn. 392 00:13:55,091 --> 00:13:56,708 ... tipping tables! 393 00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:57,740 - All right, that's... - Wait. Aly, Aly. 394 00:13:57,765 --> 00:13:58,808 - Uh, but I just... - Please don't leave. 395 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,628 - She belongs in a mental hospital! - What?! 396 00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:02,027 I know what's happening. 397 00:14:02,052 --> 00:14:03,847 You guys are trying to distract me 398 00:14:03,872 --> 00:14:06,800 from some weird thing Winston's planning. 399 00:14:06,825 --> 00:14:08,817 Uh, no. Aly, no. 400 00:14:08,842 --> 00:14:10,419 Possibly a prank? 401 00:14:11,258 --> 00:14:13,302 Might be a zotz, a goof. 402 00:14:13,335 --> 00:14:14,950 If it's prank, please tell him 403 00:14:14,975 --> 00:14:16,755 I wore bad underwear today. Please. 404 00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,861 - Frank Sinatra strikes again. - It's a prank, it's a prank. 405 00:14:18,886 --> 00:14:20,085 That's exactly what it is. 406 00:14:20,154 --> 00:14:21,809 It's a prank. Great. 407 00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,766 Oh. Winston. 408 00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:25,824 Stranded in Malibu. 409 00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:27,682 All right, let's get this over with. 410 00:14:27,762 --> 00:14:29,762 - Winston. - Hmm. Yep. 411 00:14:32,028 --> 00:14:34,600 The good news is I'm feeling sober. 412 00:14:34,669 --> 00:14:36,661 The bad news is maybe I'm too sober. 413 00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:38,989 - Yeah. I'm sobered up, too. - Great. 414 00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:41,130 Why are my eyes so good? 415 00:14:41,426 --> 00:14:43,893 I can read everything from here. 416 00:14:44,178 --> 00:14:45,511 What does that mean? 417 00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:47,713 Oh, my God. A secret world. 418 00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:49,270 Okay. I don't think she's sober at all. 419 00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:51,383 Okay. Hi. 420 00:14:51,452 --> 00:14:54,019 Thank you for supporting your local bookstore. 421 00:14:54,088 --> 00:14:56,541 Quick reminder: we're dying. Please buy things. 422 00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:59,041 I was feeling very confident before, but I'm losing some of it, 423 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,776 so I think might just take one more quick pull. 424 00:15:00,801 --> 00:15:02,086 - No, no. No, no, no. - Just one more quick pull. 425 00:15:02,111 --> 00:15:03,455 - Just one more quick. - Oh, my goodness. 426 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,331 Is this gonna be a problem? 427 00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:06,650 Get it together. 428 00:15:06,675 --> 00:15:08,934 And now, please welcome Nick Miller, 429 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,028 author of The Pepperwood Chronicles. 430 00:15:11,053 --> 00:15:12,801 No, no. 431 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,557 - Go ahead... - Nick. 432 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,382 Go ahead. They called... 433 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:19,713 What a wonderful day. 434 00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:21,635 Quick reminder: we are dying. 435 00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,671 I wrote this, every word. 436 00:15:29,824 --> 00:15:31,123 All of that. 437 00:15:31,148 --> 00:15:33,314 My hard work, not yours. 438 00:15:33,694 --> 00:15:35,343 It's not a competition. 439 00:15:35,796 --> 00:15:38,507 If everybody could stop looking at me, that'd be really great. 440 00:15:38,532 --> 00:15:39,913 If you guys wouldn't mind just closing your eyes, 441 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,504 as if you were at some sort of a show 442 00:15:41,529 --> 00:15:43,446 where you were asked to close your eyes. 443 00:15:43,471 --> 00:15:45,015 - What? - Thank you. 444 00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,445 Do you mind looking down, sir? 445 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,027 Nick. 446 00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,538 All of these are for sale. 447 00:16:00,203 --> 00:16:02,169 What's that? Yeah... coming. 448 00:16:05,184 --> 00:16:06,395 Is that it? 449 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,551 Um... 450 00:16:09,063 --> 00:16:11,192 Don't worry about me, I live here now. 451 00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:15,354 All right, what are we gonna do? What's the plan? 452 00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:19,150 Well, it helps if you feed him something first. 453 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,496 Do you have any meat? Or nuts? 454 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,897 Why would I have come to the bookstore 455 00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:25,198 with meat and nuts in my purse? 456 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,955 - Okay. Caramels. - I don't have that. 457 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,375 All right. Just tell him you believe in him, 458 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,436 and that he can do this. 459 00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,219 Yeah. I'm not good at this. 460 00:16:31,244 --> 00:16:32,606 Obviously. So... 461 00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:35,337 what would you say, Jess, if you were me? 462 00:16:37,394 --> 00:16:39,346 I would say... 463 00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,793 Nick, you're... 464 00:16:45,044 --> 00:16:47,421 one of the most amazing people I've ever met. 465 00:16:47,489 --> 00:16:50,090 Everyone here is lucky to hear your book, 466 00:16:50,159 --> 00:16:51,925 because it's a part of you. 467 00:16:52,002 --> 00:16:53,910 And if you fail, 468 00:16:53,935 --> 00:16:55,799 it doesn't change how special you are. 469 00:16:55,824 --> 00:16:58,714 And no matter what happens here, 470 00:16:59,464 --> 00:17:00,996 I'll always love you. 471 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,503 Or something like that. 472 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,101 That made me tear up a little bit. 473 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,261 - I'm gonna use that. - Okay. 474 00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:13,895 Hi, Nick. 475 00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:15,549 What are you doing? 476 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,784 I'm just hanging out in here. I'm just taking a break. 477 00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:20,519 Just, just having a moment... yeah. 478 00:17:20,544 --> 00:17:22,566 Hey. No. You are... 479 00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:25,111 you are amazing. 480 00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:26,493 And you, you're, 481 00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:28,533 you're, uh, special boy. 482 00:17:28,558 --> 00:17:29,896 Like, uh, um... 483 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,769 you know, you... like, uh, you're, you are... 484 00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:34,894 very special, you know what I'm saying. 485 00:17:34,919 --> 00:17:36,737 Uh, and let me start over. 486 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,371 Nick. 487 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,651 I believe in you. 488 00:17:46,489 --> 00:17:48,178 Hey, this thing's awesome. 489 00:17:48,203 --> 00:17:49,602 Did that guy write this? 490 00:17:49,817 --> 00:17:51,551 Yeah. He sure did. 491 00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,228 There's a sadness about him. 492 00:17:53,253 --> 00:17:54,319 I know what you mean. 493 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,325 Oh, there's movement. 494 00:18:01,653 --> 00:18:04,903 Sorry about that. Uh, that was some weird stuff. 495 00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,761 "The sun baked down on Pepperwood's back 496 00:18:09,786 --> 00:18:12,887 "as he moved over to the St. Charles streetcar. 497 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,942 "The driver handed him a brown paper sack. 498 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,458 "Without opening it, Pepperwood knew what was inside: 499 00:18:19,483 --> 00:18:21,882 "blood-soaked beignets." 500 00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,216 He is so dreamy. 501 00:18:23,285 --> 00:18:25,919 Oh, your life's gonna be so hard. 502 00:18:34,818 --> 00:18:37,020 Okay, Bishop, what is happening? 503 00:18:37,045 --> 00:18:39,318 - Do you really need a spare? - Oh, I got a spare. 504 00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:42,135 A spare cactus. 505 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,662 Oh, my God. 506 00:18:43,825 --> 00:18:47,021 I planted it in this spot that is perfect. 507 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,467 You see, the cactus is common, 508 00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:51,754 but the company is not. 509 00:18:51,779 --> 00:18:54,326 - Hello, beautiful. - It's perfect. 510 00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:58,103 Come on. 511 00:19:01,295 --> 00:19:02,443 We should probably just give them their privacy. 512 00:19:02,468 --> 00:19:03,482 Yeah, you're right, you're right. 513 00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:05,416 - Holy hell. He's doing it. - Oh, my God, oh, my God. 514 00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,294 - Oh, my God, oh, my God. - He's on a knee, here we go. 515 00:19:07,329 --> 00:19:09,552 - It's happening. - Game time. 516 00:19:09,966 --> 00:19:12,342 It's a shoelace. False alarm. 517 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,332 Okay, now here it is. 518 00:19:14,357 --> 00:19:16,002 Here it is. It's happening. 519 00:19:16,027 --> 00:19:17,748 That is a ring. 520 00:19:18,565 --> 00:19:20,170 I don't think that's a ring. 521 00:19:21,343 --> 00:19:23,623 Is he giving her a gummy vitamin? 522 00:19:23,935 --> 00:19:26,131 Okay, this is it, this is it. 523 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:27,887 And the other shoe? 524 00:19:27,912 --> 00:19:29,850 That's why I double knot his laces. 525 00:19:30,178 --> 00:19:31,945 You know what? Let's stop asking questions. Who knows? 526 00:19:32,014 --> 00:19:34,514 - It's... their date. It's their date. - What is this? 527 00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,895 Hey. You guys can take off now. 528 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,512 Of course. You want to be alone for when you pop the question. 529 00:19:41,537 --> 00:19:42,967 - Got it. - Wait. What? 530 00:19:42,992 --> 00:19:44,791 We're so excited for the both of you. 531 00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:47,021 Oh. Oh, you thought I was gonna propose today? 532 00:19:47,046 --> 00:19:49,729 No. Yo, that's hilarious. 533 00:19:50,013 --> 00:19:51,318 What do you mean it's not today? 534 00:19:51,343 --> 00:19:54,099 No. This is just phase one... of 20. 535 00:19:54,336 --> 00:19:55,600 - What? - What? 536 00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:56,629 Yeah. 537 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,994 We went through all of this 538 00:19:58,019 --> 00:20:00,453 for a non-proposal cactus picnic? 539 00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:01,533 Damn it, Winston. 540 00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:04,692 My girl deserves the grandest proposal ever, okay? 541 00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:06,617 And that cannot be rushed. 542 00:20:07,322 --> 00:20:10,316 - That is actually sweet. - That's not sweet. 543 00:20:10,385 --> 00:20:12,148 I te... Here's a phase for you: 544 00:20:12,173 --> 00:20:13,853 when I throw you off the cliff into the ocean. 545 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,283 - Okay. - Hey, look, don't worry. 546 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,228 For the next 20 weeks, I've only got you helping out 547 00:20:17,253 --> 00:20:19,666 with odd-numbered phases, okay? 548 00:20:19,691 --> 00:20:21,798 And there will be sub-phases, obviously. 549 00:20:21,823 --> 00:20:23,055 I ain't doing no sub-phases. 550 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,727 Think of them as annoyingly elaborate... 551 00:20:25,752 --> 00:20:27,478 smaller phases. 552 00:20:27,705 --> 00:20:29,536 He's really pushing his limits right now. 553 00:20:30,181 --> 00:20:32,272 Thank you so much for your help. One phase down. 554 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:34,244 - Boop. - Don't boop him. 555 00:20:34,269 --> 00:20:36,954 Just one. I wish we sold just one. 556 00:20:36,993 --> 00:20:38,344 Hey. You did great. 557 00:20:38,413 --> 00:20:41,696 Nick. I'd like to introduce you to your number one fan. 558 00:20:41,721 --> 00:20:43,556 Hey. I really enjoyed what you read, 559 00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:46,265 and hearing it and how the characters were good, 560 00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:47,454 and how your face looks, 561 00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:50,068 - and I want to hold it... - All right. Keep it cool, keep it cool. 562 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:51,514 I think Mariah would like 563 00:20:51,546 --> 00:20:54,022 to buy a copy of the book. 564 00:20:54,047 --> 00:20:55,357 - You want to buy one? - Yes. 565 00:20:55,382 --> 00:20:56,779 How much ya got? 566 00:20:57,107 --> 00:20:58,115 A dollar. 567 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,990 Well, the purchase price is $12.95, so... 568 00:21:00,015 --> 00:21:02,225 - I'm comfortable with the dollar. - Okay, fine. A dollar's fine. 569 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:03,381 Good deal. 570 00:21:03,406 --> 00:21:05,279 The signature's free with the dollar. 571 00:21:08,787 --> 00:21:10,405 - There you go. - Thank you. 572 00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:12,436 Don't read it all in one place. 573 00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:14,714 - You okay, Nick? - Yeah. 574 00:21:14,783 --> 00:21:15,849 Just concerned about... 575 00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:17,365 - The shed scene. - ... the shed scene. 576 00:21:17,390 --> 00:21:18,589 But I don't remember the shed scene. 577 00:21:18,614 --> 00:21:20,274 You don't remember the shed scene? 578 00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:21,345 I don't remember it. 579 00:21:21,389 --> 00:21:23,663 It's an incredibly graphic sexual scene. 580 00:21:23,688 --> 00:21:26,455 - That's not good. - Disgustingly sexual. 581 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:27,827 Who cares? 582 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:29,458 - My first sale. - Congratulations. 583 00:21:29,483 --> 00:21:30,812 - I did it. - Yeah, Nick!