1 00:00:03,535 --> 00:00:05,268 And, uh, one last signature here. 2 00:00:07,605 --> 00:00:09,338 Congratulations. 3 00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:11,973 We are official part owners of the bar! 4 00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:13,774 Yes! 5 00:00:13,776 --> 00:00:15,175 Sir, we won't let you down. 6 00:00:15,177 --> 00:00:16,643 I'm just a notary. 7 00:00:16,645 --> 00:00:18,144 Hey, the note... arize. 8 00:00:18,146 --> 00:00:20,045 All right, we're not gonna let you down. 9 00:00:21,982 --> 00:00:25,049 It's gonna be a little weird, you know, me working for you. 10 00:00:25,051 --> 00:00:26,617 No, no, babe. We're gonna keep it separate. 11 00:00:26,619 --> 00:00:28,185 Ass-Strat's my day job. 12 00:00:28,187 --> 00:00:29,386 I'm more of a "show up late night 13 00:00:29,388 --> 00:00:31,020 with my Argentinian friends" type of owner. 14 00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:34,223 Nick's in charge. He's got it. Okay. 15 00:00:34,225 --> 00:00:35,557 Look, it's all about finesse. Watch. 16 00:00:35,559 --> 00:00:37,158 The trick is, is you get super close, 17 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,626 but then you pull back. 18 00:00:38,628 --> 00:00:40,461 Watch how Daddy does it. 19 00:00:40,463 --> 00:00:42,062 Oh, no! 20 00:00:42,064 --> 00:00:43,897 Thank you for the back pat. I needed that. 21 00:00:43,899 --> 00:00:45,398 What? 22 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,832 You have to have beer on the bar, Uh-huh. 23 00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:48,033 because that's what makes it stick. 24 00:00:48,035 --> 00:00:49,567 So now I can do it a billion times on it. 25 00:00:49,569 --> 00:00:51,168 Don't count that first one. 26 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:52,669 Don't count that first one. Okay. Hey. 27 00:00:52,671 --> 00:00:54,203 Look at that. What a game, right? 28 00:00:54,205 --> 00:00:56,038 Screw the boss? Oh, wait. That's you. 29 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,140 It's up to you to take charge now. 30 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:00,175 Oh, yeah, 'cause I'm the manager. 31 00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:02,210 What you need to do is set a meeting. 32 00:01:02,212 --> 00:01:05,079 Establish yourself as a leader. 33 00:01:05,081 --> 00:01:07,381 Within every man there is a man... ager. 34 00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:09,216 What's-what's going on there? 35 00:01:09,218 --> 00:01:10,483 What do you mean? 36 00:01:10,485 --> 00:01:12,651 Your rib cage has give. 37 00:01:12,653 --> 00:01:14,185 You know, KC still hasn't texted me back. 38 00:01:14,187 --> 00:01:16,253 I've been on five dates with her-- five dates, 39 00:01:16,255 --> 00:01:17,487 and I still don't know where I stand. 40 00:01:17,489 --> 00:01:19,589 New relationships are so hard! 41 00:01:19,591 --> 00:01:21,591 They take so much work. 42 00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,259 So much work. It's like... 43 00:01:23,261 --> 00:01:26,595 it's like making a risotto; a risotto in your heart. 44 00:01:26,597 --> 00:01:28,430 Mm. Hmm. 45 00:01:28,432 --> 00:01:30,598 Aw. What's that for? 46 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,266 Just 'cause. 47 00:01:32,268 --> 00:01:34,234 Aw. Mmm. 48 00:01:34,236 --> 00:01:36,236 How great is that? 49 00:01:36,238 --> 00:01:37,870 So great. So comfy, so warm. 50 00:01:37,872 --> 00:01:39,404 Like a port in the storm. 51 00:01:39,406 --> 00:01:41,906 I just want to skip all the first dates, 52 00:01:41,908 --> 00:01:43,207 and just get to this. 53 00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:44,608 Mm-hmm. You're gonna get there, okay? 54 00:01:44,610 --> 00:01:47,077 You just got to... got to keep yourself open. 55 00:01:47,079 --> 00:01:49,913 Wasn't Sadie gonna hook you up with, uh, that guy? 56 00:01:49,915 --> 00:01:53,249 Oh, yeah, Fred. He invited me to watch a movie-- at his house. 57 00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:54,683 During the day. 58 00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:56,217 Doesn't that make it sound like 59 00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:57,851 he's a boy who's allergic to everything? 60 00:01:57,853 --> 00:01:59,285 You're looking for something wrong. 61 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,053 I got to say, she's right. Mm-hmm. 62 00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,922 And besides, what if he's got a dope-ass home theater? 63 00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,057 Damn! 64 00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:09,559 This is a dope-ass home theater. 65 00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:13,229 I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick. 66 00:02:13,231 --> 00:02:15,898 Okay. Well, hurry back before previews begin. 67 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,901 That was a joke, 'cause I feel like I'm in a real theater here. 68 00:02:18,903 --> 00:02:20,736 I mean, this is amazing. Thank you. 69 00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:22,304 Thank you for inviting me. 70 00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:27,108 Oh, that was fast. Hi. Didn't mean to startle. 71 00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:28,476 Just wanted to know if you wanted 72 00:02:28,478 --> 00:02:29,743 some snacks during the movie. 73 00:02:29,745 --> 00:02:31,711 I've just made a fresh pot of coffee. 74 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:34,113 We're Flip and Nancy. 75 00:02:34,115 --> 00:02:36,248 Fred's parents. Mm. 76 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:39,084 Oh! 77 00:02:39,086 --> 00:02:41,286 Fred lives with his parents. 78 00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:43,254 Now I see where he gets his looks. 79 00:02:43,256 --> 00:02:45,923 And his house. 80 00:02:45,925 --> 00:02:47,624 ? 81 00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,093 Guys, seriously. 82 00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:52,661 I'm... I'm not hungry. 83 00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:55,096 You can't watch the movie on an empty stomach. 84 00:02:55,098 --> 00:02:56,964 Hey, cool your jets until you have some of our coffee. 85 00:02:56,966 --> 00:02:58,665 Beans are from Portland. 86 00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:01,100 Oh, that's funny. I'm from Portland. 87 00:03:01,102 --> 00:03:03,335 Do you know my last book signing was at Powell's Books? 88 00:03:03,337 --> 00:03:04,903 Oh, no way. You're-you're a writer? 89 00:03:04,905 --> 00:03:06,971 Well, I'm just a fool with a few stories. 90 00:03:06,973 --> 00:03:08,906 Oh, you're just being modest. 91 00:03:08,908 --> 00:03:11,241 And you are being lovely. Oh. 92 00:03:14,512 --> 00:03:16,478 You guys are so sweet together. 93 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,480 That's because we're still on our honeymoon. 94 00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,348 35 wonderful years of marriage. 95 00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:22,183 Feels like two to me. Oh. 96 00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:24,151 - Feels like one. - Like we just met. 97 00:03:24,153 --> 00:03:26,019 Nick, what are we doing here? 98 00:03:29,357 --> 00:03:30,989 Each-each of you know me. 99 00:03:30,991 --> 00:03:32,323 Yeah. 100 00:03:32,325 --> 00:03:35,125 If you don't, my name is Nicholas Miller. 101 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,493 I'm an American from Chicago. 102 00:03:36,495 --> 00:03:39,996 I'm your new boss, so you'll do what I say. 103 00:03:39,998 --> 00:03:42,498 When the cave people went to the cave bar, 104 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,700 and they asked for a drink on the rocks, 105 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,601 they actually meant it. 106 00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:48,669 Now that we're all laughing... 107 00:03:52,207 --> 00:03:54,573 It says, "Wait for laughs." 108 00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:58,943 I... 109 00:03:58,945 --> 00:04:00,611 Anybody have any questions? 110 00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:01,712 I have a question. 111 00:04:01,714 --> 00:04:02,512 Please. Anything. 112 00:04:02,514 --> 00:04:03,946 Your mother. 113 00:04:06,784 --> 00:04:08,617 Your mother. I love it. 114 00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:10,051 Thank you for breaking the ice. 115 00:04:10,053 --> 00:04:11,318 I know! 116 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,653 I must look so stupid! 117 00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:16,155 "Hey, get over here. I got a meeting." 118 00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:18,023 What an idiot, huh? 119 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,324 It was that bad, huh? 120 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,825 No, Birdman was bad. 121 00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:23,960 This... this was a disaster. 122 00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:26,529 I'm here to help you, okay? Look, I have over nearly 123 00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:28,163 ten years of experience in the corporate world. 124 00:04:28,165 --> 00:04:29,330 What's "over nearly ten"? 125 00:04:29,332 --> 00:04:31,165 "Nearly ten" would be eight or nine years. 126 00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,833 I have... I have over nine years. 127 00:04:32,835 --> 00:04:34,734 That's different, yeah. 128 00:04:34,736 --> 00:04:36,569 Got you a tie. Corporate 101. 129 00:04:36,571 --> 00:04:38,837 Dress better than your employees. 130 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,338 Reminds them that they're inferior. 131 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,540 I'd wear a tie, but only on my butt, 132 00:04:42,542 --> 00:04:44,008 like it were a tail. 133 00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:46,410 A tail tie. 134 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,545 Furguson, you have a knot! 135 00:04:48,547 --> 00:04:50,246 That salt water in here? 136 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,181 You been hanging down at the wharf again? 137 00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:53,849 Guess what. 138 00:04:53,851 --> 00:04:56,384 I took a chance with that guy Fred, and I'm in love. 139 00:04:56,386 --> 00:04:57,418 That's incredible. 140 00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:59,386 With his parents, but I'm in love! 141 00:04:59,388 --> 00:05:02,822 Furguson, clear my schedule. 142 00:05:03,391 --> 00:05:05,624 I need a word with your sister. 143 00:05:10,897 --> 00:05:12,263 When Nancy was in Zimbabwe building clean water systems, 144 00:05:12,265 --> 00:05:14,265 Flip dropped everything to go over there and be with her, 145 00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:15,232 and they put Fred in tribal school. 146 00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:16,866 You seem like you're on cocaine. 147 00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:19,435 Yeah, right. Flip and Nancy and I hate drugs. 148 00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:21,236 Okay, yeah, great. What do you like about Fred? 149 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,204 Well, I didn't really get any time with him, 150 00:05:23,206 --> 00:05:25,406 'cause Flip and Nancy wanted to watch the sunset. 151 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,207 Hey, do not talk to me like I'm some bastard 152 00:05:27,209 --> 00:05:28,441 who doesn't enjoy a good sunset. 153 00:05:28,443 --> 00:05:31,444 But if you really want to be in a relationship... 154 00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:34,580 Then I have to get to know Fred. Ha! You know what? 155 00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:37,382 Tomorrow, I'm gonna just crack him open like a cold beer. 156 00:05:37,384 --> 00:05:39,016 You know what's a good date? Hmm? 157 00:05:39,018 --> 00:05:41,184 Errands and a smoothie. 158 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,652 Okay, everyone, listen up. 159 00:05:45,589 --> 00:05:47,388 Here are your new uniforms. 160 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,423 Oh, you got to be kidding. 161 00:05:49,425 --> 00:05:51,224 Save your groans for Birdman! 162 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:54,227 From now on, we will measure drinks. 163 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,428 Oh, man. 164 00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:57,229 And we have a new one-napkin policy. 165 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,230 Just one napkin? 166 00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,432 Questions at the end, please. 167 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:03,268 Should somebody ask you for a second napkin, 168 00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:05,236 you just say, "Are you sure?" 169 00:06:05,238 --> 00:06:08,138 Nine times out of ten, they'll just back off and say, "Thanks." 170 00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,106 Now please go try on your new polos. 171 00:06:12,477 --> 00:06:14,043 Can I have a word with you? 172 00:06:14,045 --> 00:06:15,277 Hey, Schmidt, everything you just said 173 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,479 makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others. 174 00:06:17,481 --> 00:06:21,282 You need to rule with an iron fist. No mercy. 175 00:06:21,284 --> 00:06:23,717 You're not suggesting Cobra Kai rules? 176 00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:26,953 I'm not doing it! They're my friends! 177 00:06:26,955 --> 00:06:29,288 Your friends are gonna lose their jobs 178 00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:31,323 if this bar goes under. 179 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,293 Ooh! 180 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,461 I never thought I would say this, but... 181 00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:38,562 give me the tie. 182 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,264 Now we're talking. 183 00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:42,298 No mercy. 184 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,566 Corporate leader is born. 185 00:06:46,136 --> 00:06:48,169 Don't-don't put it around your head. 186 00:06:48,171 --> 00:06:51,338 Well, hello to you. Hi. Hi! 187 00:06:51,340 --> 00:06:53,506 Fred'll be right down. You know, Nan and I are just 188 00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:55,574 packing up some books and paints for a park day! 189 00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:57,108 A park day?! 190 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,143 Yes, it's from when we used to live in Paris. 191 00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:00,511 You should come! 192 00:07:00,513 --> 00:07:02,179 Well, look, um, 193 00:07:02,181 --> 00:07:03,513 I would love to, uh, 194 00:07:03,515 --> 00:07:05,648 but, um, I have to, uh, 195 00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:08,183 spend a little one-on-one time with, uh, this one. 196 00:07:08,185 --> 00:07:10,418 When can chill with my parents. Okay. 197 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:11,652 Yes! Oh! Great! 198 00:07:11,654 --> 00:07:13,053 Here's some paint. Coffee? 199 00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:16,422 I feel like a car rental agent. 200 00:07:16,424 --> 00:07:18,524 Yeah, well, you look like a prince. 201 00:07:18,526 --> 00:07:21,159 Now, go. Go be a boss. 202 00:07:21,161 --> 00:07:22,226 Hey, Cece. 203 00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:25,662 Um, we measure our drinks now. 204 00:07:25,664 --> 00:07:26,796 Am I right? 205 00:07:26,798 --> 00:07:29,532 So, uh, do as I say. 206 00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:32,167 Of course. Use the thing. 207 00:07:32,169 --> 00:07:33,768 Sorry, just, you know, it's important. 208 00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:36,537 You know, with the... consist... 209 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,773 Is this the exact thing that you wanted to have happen? 210 00:07:39,775 --> 00:07:42,608 I wouldn't want to get anything on my new uniform. 211 00:07:44,545 --> 00:07:46,177 That's, like, six shots. 212 00:07:46,179 --> 00:07:48,012 So you have to charge... 213 00:07:48,014 --> 00:07:49,346 That was some sass. 214 00:07:49,348 --> 00:07:51,548 You're at a real crossroads here. 215 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,349 This is a big moment for you. 216 00:07:53,351 --> 00:07:56,018 There is no fear in this dojo! 217 00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:58,387 Hey, Javier? 218 00:07:58,389 --> 00:07:59,554 Where's-where's your shirt? 219 00:07:59,556 --> 00:08:01,122 Oh, it's so crazy, Nick. 220 00:08:01,124 --> 00:08:03,390 Someone broke into my house last night 221 00:08:03,392 --> 00:08:05,191 and stole that ugly shirt. 222 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,358 Yeah... 223 00:08:08,161 --> 00:08:10,394 I don't believe that. 224 00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:11,828 Oh, it's boxy on me, dude. 225 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:15,565 As your boss... Javier, I need you to put your shirt on. 226 00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:18,000 I need you to put it on... your mother. 227 00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:20,568 Hey, no mother jokes. 228 00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:22,703 Javier, do not slide that right now, okay? 229 00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:24,471 I mean it. Do not... 230 00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:27,473 You're fired. 231 00:08:28,142 --> 00:08:30,275 What? Whoa, what? 232 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,212 You changed, man. 233 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,815 That is some Jeffrey Tambor stuff, dude. 234 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,416 Javier, wait. 235 00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:40,917 I-It's... Look, I wouldn't get... 236 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:42,718 Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. 237 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,353 You just fired Javier? 238 00:08:45,355 --> 00:08:46,721 You are out of control, Miller. 239 00:08:46,723 --> 00:08:48,022 I'm not gonna take it anymore, 240 00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:49,023 and you guys shouldn't, either. 241 00:08:49,025 --> 00:08:50,391 Okay, let's show management 242 00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:53,727 exactly what we think of their policies. Let's walk! 243 00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:55,428 I'm sorry, bae, you're gonna have to keep it separate. 244 00:08:55,430 --> 00:08:56,595 Totally get it. Love you, bae. 245 00:08:56,597 --> 00:08:58,462 All right. Let's go. 246 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,399 That was bad. 247 00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:06,435 But can we just take a moment to appreciate Cece? 248 00:09:06,437 --> 00:09:08,370 I mean, the effect that she has on people-- 249 00:09:08,372 --> 00:09:09,404 it's really incredible. 250 00:09:09,406 --> 00:09:11,606 I can't believe... she's marrying me. 251 00:09:11,608 --> 00:09:15,042 I mean... like, what? 252 00:09:15,044 --> 00:09:17,277 Boy, Furguson, this knot is getting worse. 253 00:09:18,446 --> 00:09:19,945 We are in a hairy situation, my friend. 254 00:09:22,883 --> 00:09:24,582 I know! Really! 255 00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:25,616 Oh, it's just, it's just you! 256 00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:28,418 Hey, Winston. 257 00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:30,052 This is Nancy and Flip and, um... Hi! 258 00:09:30,054 --> 00:09:32,254 And, uh, we just went to the park, and we had 259 00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:34,422 a great park day, and we're gonna have Nice to see you. 260 00:09:34,424 --> 00:09:36,056 some, uh, wine before dinner. 261 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,090 Oh. And it's gonna be awesome. 262 00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:38,391 Oh, you should join us. 263 00:09:38,393 --> 00:09:39,726 Oh. Yeah. Yeah, come on! 264 00:09:39,727 --> 00:09:41,060 - You should join us. - A little sip. 265 00:09:41,062 --> 00:09:42,461 You should. Oh, yeah, for sure. 266 00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:43,595 Definitely join us. Join us. 267 00:09:43,597 --> 00:09:45,530 Jess, a moment? 268 00:09:45,532 --> 00:09:46,697 Jess, what the hell are you doing? 269 00:09:46,699 --> 00:09:48,465 They're just the most amazing people I've ever met. 270 00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,033 What happened to the one-on-one with Fred? 271 00:09:50,035 --> 00:09:52,635 He's just so quiet; I can't get a read on him. 272 00:09:52,637 --> 00:09:54,903 Jess... if you want a comfy, old relationship, 273 00:09:54,905 --> 00:09:56,471 you got to start somewhere. 274 00:09:56,473 --> 00:10:00,207 All right? Go spend five minutes alone with him, now. 275 00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:01,875 Go get some cheese for the wine. 276 00:10:01,877 --> 00:10:03,309 Chevre is always nice. 277 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,644 But I wouldn't dare tell you how to buy cheese. 278 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,279 You're being so assertive right now. It's almost attractive. 279 00:10:08,281 --> 00:10:10,848 Hey, not now. Not the time. 280 00:10:15,554 --> 00:10:18,087 You know... 281 00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:21,490 I can be shy sometimes, too. 282 00:10:21,492 --> 00:10:23,258 You don't have to be shy. 283 00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:27,394 Seriously, I-I'd really like to get to know you. 284 00:10:28,463 --> 00:10:30,329 Really? 285 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,432 Here's something that I learned from our relationship. 286 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,568 When you feel a knot... 287 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,236 you take a deep breath 288 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,671 and you stare at it and face it 289 00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:44,507 without fear or judgment. 290 00:10:44,509 --> 00:10:47,643 I don't think that it's Furgy's knot that's bothering you. 291 00:10:47,645 --> 00:10:49,344 Ooh. 292 00:10:49,346 --> 00:10:51,079 I think that the knot that's bothering you 293 00:10:51,081 --> 00:10:52,480 is right there. 294 00:10:53,816 --> 00:10:56,516 Uh, wow, I, um... 295 00:10:56,518 --> 00:10:58,818 I don't know where I stand with my girl, 296 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:01,654 and I can't talk to her, because I am ashamed. 297 00:11:01,656 --> 00:11:02,821 Aw... Did he just say "ashamed"? 298 00:11:02,823 --> 00:11:04,522 Yeah, that's what I said. Ashamed... 299 00:11:04,524 --> 00:11:06,490 of being beautiful? Of being a man? 300 00:11:06,492 --> 00:11:08,458 Of being passionate? 301 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,827 Ha! Then I'm ashamed, too. 302 00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:12,461 I say to you... 303 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,695 let her in. 304 00:11:13,697 --> 00:11:14,529 Yes. 305 00:11:14,531 --> 00:11:16,097 All together now. 306 00:11:16,099 --> 00:11:18,866 On the count of three? Oh. Let her in. 307 00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:19,700 Let her in. No counting. 308 00:11:19,702 --> 00:11:20,701 Okay, just go. 309 00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:22,169 What a wonderful cheese store. 310 00:11:22,171 --> 00:11:23,537 They had so many options. 311 00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:25,372 That's good, 'cause I love cheese. 312 00:11:25,374 --> 00:11:26,940 All kinds of cheese. 313 00:11:26,942 --> 00:11:28,942 Orange cheese, pizza cheese. 314 00:11:28,944 --> 00:11:31,144 I love all parts of pizzas, especially the dough. 315 00:11:31,146 --> 00:11:34,313 Once I asked for a ball of dough, and they gave it to me, 316 00:11:34,315 --> 00:11:36,615 and I took it to a park and ate it. 317 00:11:36,617 --> 00:11:37,949 I'm so glad you opened up. 318 00:11:37,951 --> 00:11:40,351 But then I realized I needed some sauce... 319 00:11:41,687 --> 00:11:44,354 People always make fun of my eyes, 320 00:11:44,356 --> 00:11:46,356 but I guess they're... Oh-ho! Good! 321 00:11:46,358 --> 00:11:47,890 Winston, can I have a moment? 322 00:11:47,892 --> 00:11:49,591 Uh, yeah. 323 00:11:50,527 --> 00:11:52,994 I love Flip and Nan. I hate Fred. 324 00:11:52,996 --> 00:11:54,228 No! I know! 325 00:11:58,533 --> 00:11:59,698 So Fred's not shy, he just sucks. 326 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,199 When I asked him 327 00:12:01,201 --> 00:12:03,634 what his favorite hobby was, he said, "Towels." 328 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:06,703 I got to break up with that human pile of saltine dust. 329 00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:08,337 I love Flip! I mean, Flip taught me 330 00:12:08,339 --> 00:12:09,705 how to be vulnerable with KC, you know? 331 00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:10,972 Yeah. Nancy ear-candled me. 332 00:12:10,974 --> 00:12:13,140 I can hear for miles. 333 00:12:13,142 --> 00:12:14,708 Their relationship's just such an inspiration, 334 00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:17,010 and I want to be around it, but what can we do? 335 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,544 We ditch Fred. Forget about that dude. 336 00:12:18,546 --> 00:12:20,178 We establish our own relationships 337 00:12:20,180 --> 00:12:21,746 with Flip and Nancy. 338 00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:24,181 Boom. Make future plans with just them. 339 00:12:24,183 --> 00:12:25,749 "Future plans" is redundant, 340 00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:27,717 but other than that, I am on board! Okay. 341 00:12:27,719 --> 00:12:30,152 Now, I'm gonna need some alone time with Flip and Nancy. 342 00:12:30,154 --> 00:12:31,386 Can you stall Fred? 343 00:12:31,388 --> 00:12:32,553 Can I stall Fred? 344 00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:34,321 Of course I can stall Fred. 345 00:12:34,323 --> 00:12:36,556 I would do anything. I love Flip and Nancy. 346 00:12:36,558 --> 00:12:38,558 Me, too! Are we totally crazy? 347 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,026 Maybe! I don't even care! 348 00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:42,428 I don't even care, either. Hmm. 349 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,896 That's a vodka soda, I think. 350 00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:45,530 Uh, it's close enough. 351 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,698 I hear you! I'm getting to you! Stop yelling at me! 352 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,599 Shut up! I don't understand what Cece's doing here. 353 00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:51,567 She led the walk-out. If she's gonna be here, 354 00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:52,568 can she at least help us?! 355 00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:54,336 I am not gonna scab. 356 00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:55,737 Sorry, bae, I cannot scab, 357 00:12:55,739 --> 00:12:57,672 but I'm here for you as your fiancée. 358 00:12:57,674 --> 00:12:59,707 You are my rock right now. Do you need anything? 359 00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:01,341 No, I'm good, babe. Okay, just let me know 360 00:13:01,343 --> 00:13:02,842 - if you do. We are screwed! - Hey! 361 00:13:02,844 --> 00:13:05,411 Shut up! I'm trying my hardest! 362 00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:06,745 I shouldn't have fired Javier. 363 00:13:06,747 --> 00:13:08,613 I got to apologize. This is all my fault. 364 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:10,681 Obviously, this is your fault-- everybody knows that-- 365 00:13:10,683 --> 00:13:11,782 but a boss never apologizes. 366 00:13:11,784 --> 00:13:13,016 It shows weakness. 367 00:13:13,018 --> 00:13:14,684 I feel like if Javier came back, 368 00:13:14,686 --> 00:13:16,385 the rest of the staff would come back. 369 00:13:16,387 --> 00:13:18,253 That's a great idea. I just said that. 370 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,621 Such a great idea. 371 00:13:19,623 --> 00:13:22,757 Well, then give me one, because I said it first. 372 00:13:22,759 --> 00:13:24,759 If you're giving it for that idea, 373 00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:26,927 if it's about that idea, then I deserve one. 374 00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,762 But I don't want one. 375 00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:29,596 And I felt left out. 376 00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:32,565 Shut up! 377 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,633 Well, I wonder what's taking them. 378 00:13:34,635 --> 00:13:37,202 Probably just the traff. You know, the old 'ic. 379 00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:40,271 "The old 'ic." 380 00:13:40,273 --> 00:13:41,739 Anyway, I was thinking, um, is there anything 381 00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,640 you guys like to do that Fred doesn't like to do? 382 00:13:43,642 --> 00:13:45,775 'Cause I-I kind of... I kind of just want 383 00:13:45,777 --> 00:13:47,777 to hang out with you guys and not Fred. 384 00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:50,813 Hmm. 385 00:13:50,815 --> 00:13:53,282 Thank you for doing this, by the way. This is great. 386 00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:54,449 Slow night. 387 00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:55,883 Just been driving around, 388 00:13:55,885 --> 00:13:57,751 mouthing along to hip-hop songs. 389 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,086 Miss Officer, can we go? I'm very hungry, 390 00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:01,787 and my possible girlfriend and parents 391 00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:03,755 are waiting for us to order, and it feels like 392 00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:05,089 you've done over a million tests. 393 00:14:05,091 --> 00:14:06,957 That's what I been saying! 394 00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:08,458 Where is the justice? 395 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,393 You can go when I tell you to go. 396 00:14:10,395 --> 00:14:12,595 Now, for your next test... 397 00:14:12,597 --> 00:14:14,830 I want you to pretend you're about to break-dance, 398 00:14:14,832 --> 00:14:17,232 but do not actually break-dance. 399 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,400 Break-dance-- that's it. 400 00:14:19,402 --> 00:14:20,401 I didn't mean... 401 00:14:20,403 --> 00:14:21,902 Buddy, I'm talk... 402 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,470 Why would he take that upon him... 403 00:14:23,472 --> 00:14:24,437 Don't ask. 404 00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:26,038 I mean, whatever. 405 00:14:29,676 --> 00:14:31,175 Man, he's dumb! 406 00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:33,243 Give us more hands. 407 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,679 Do it more animated. 408 00:14:36,681 --> 00:14:39,682 But less alive. 409 00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:41,016 That's pretty good. 410 00:14:41,018 --> 00:14:42,450 Keep all of that, 411 00:14:42,452 --> 00:14:44,919 but pretend you're underwater. 412 00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:46,654 Deeper. 413 00:14:47,823 --> 00:14:49,689 Deeper. 414 00:14:49,691 --> 00:14:51,457 Okay, Jess, uh, what's going on here? 415 00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:52,458 Spill it. 416 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,860 Well... 417 00:14:54,862 --> 00:14:57,329 it's just, you guys are so amazing. 418 00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,930 And it's really rough out there, 419 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,865 and it's nice to be around something so great. 420 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,134 And I-I'm not really a love match with your son, 421 00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:09,471 but I think I might be in love with you guys. 422 00:15:10,874 --> 00:15:13,341 Jess, we-we are glad that you think that 423 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:15,509 we're amazing. Yes, we are. 424 00:15:15,511 --> 00:15:16,877 And we think that you're amazing. 425 00:15:16,879 --> 00:15:19,279 Yes, we do. 426 00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:24,283 And, um... we know that Fred isn't the best. 427 00:15:24,285 --> 00:15:25,717 We live with him. 428 00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:28,553 You know, he can be so boring. 429 00:15:28,555 --> 00:15:31,556 I-It's like the apple fell so far from the tree, 430 00:15:31,558 --> 00:15:33,057 it fell in a truck Oh. 431 00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:34,825 and then disappeared across state lines. 432 00:15:34,827 --> 00:15:37,327 You guys are very honest. 433 00:15:37,329 --> 00:15:40,797 Did Fred ever tell you that he loves model trains? 434 00:15:40,799 --> 00:15:43,566 Oh, those model trains. 435 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,700 But he's your son. 436 00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:47,035 And we love him. Deeply. 437 00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:51,672 And that's why we want to make a deal with you. 438 00:15:51,674 --> 00:15:55,142 You and Fred equals you and us. 439 00:16:00,982 --> 00:16:02,514 Wow. L-Lovely home. 440 00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:03,715 Look, Javier, 441 00:16:03,717 --> 00:16:06,718 we've-we've come to give you an incredible opportunity: 442 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,821 for you to apologize and get your job back. 443 00:16:09,823 --> 00:16:11,789 So, what do you say? 444 00:16:12,825 --> 00:16:14,057 Okay, uh, well, Javier, 445 00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:16,059 let me tell you something. Uh, I've been 446 00:16:16,061 --> 00:16:18,161 in the business world for just shy of half of two decades, 447 00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,829 and I can tell you that an opportunity like this 448 00:16:19,831 --> 00:16:22,565 does not come along often, so... 449 00:16:23,501 --> 00:16:24,766 Your boss is extending his hand. 450 00:16:24,768 --> 00:16:26,100 Schmidt, stop. 451 00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:28,168 Look, Javier, I'm sorry. I messed up. 452 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,169 Nick, don't apologize. 453 00:16:29,171 --> 00:16:30,570 I've never been a boss before, 454 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,271 and it's weird, man. 455 00:16:32,273 --> 00:16:34,273 You're my friend, Javier. 456 00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:36,108 Remember when your cousin was in town 457 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,110 and-and my cousin was in town and we kissed 458 00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:41,780 each other's cousins and... then we peed on the ice maker? 459 00:16:41,782 --> 00:16:43,715 Yes. I remember that fondly. 460 00:16:43,717 --> 00:16:44,882 So rough. 461 00:16:44,884 --> 00:16:47,584 Look, we both chose the bar over other stuff. 462 00:16:47,586 --> 00:16:51,020 I-I could've been a lawyer, and-and you were a dentist. 463 00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:52,388 Were you really? You were gonna be a dentist? 464 00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:53,856 Endodontist. 465 00:16:53,858 --> 00:16:55,390 Look, it's my job to keep the bar open, 466 00:16:55,392 --> 00:16:58,860 but I still want it to be a great place to work. 467 00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:01,229 If you come back, that'll be my top priority. 468 00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:02,597 That and getting 469 00:17:02,599 --> 00:17:03,965 your old skanky cousin back in town, 470 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:05,967 so I could make out with her. 471 00:17:05,969 --> 00:17:08,970 And my skanky cousin back in town, 472 00:17:08,972 --> 00:17:10,905 so you could make out with her. 473 00:17:10,907 --> 00:17:12,773 So what do you say? 474 00:17:12,775 --> 00:17:14,174 I say... 475 00:17:15,944 --> 00:17:17,243 ...your mother. 476 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,312 Your mother. Your mother. 477 00:17:20,314 --> 00:17:21,546 Your mother! Your mother! 478 00:17:21,548 --> 00:17:23,314 No, your mother! 479 00:17:23,316 --> 00:17:24,948 Ah, you son of a bitch. I love you, man. Oh. 480 00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:26,549 You're the best, Nick. 481 00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:28,050 Yeah, you guys! Let's do it! My hand... 482 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:30,952 Next hand in, right? N... 483 00:17:30,954 --> 00:17:32,586 Okay, so you're saying that if I date Fred 484 00:17:32,588 --> 00:17:35,055 that we can all keep hanging out together. 485 00:17:35,057 --> 00:17:39,992 Yes. We don't want you to lose us or for us to lose you. 486 00:17:39,994 --> 00:17:43,662 You're the child that we always wanted to have. 487 00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:46,598 Imagine us as grandparents. 488 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:47,799 You think I haven't already? 489 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,333 You'll learn to love Fred. 490 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,834 And even better, 491 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,836 you'll never have to go on a first date again. 492 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,838 Yeah. That sounds really good. 493 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,006 There's no rush. I mean, why don't 494 00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:59,975 we go up to the Vermont house in the next few weeks 495 00:17:59,977 --> 00:18:01,843 and all be together? 496 00:18:01,845 --> 00:18:03,244 Vermont house? Oh, yeah. 497 00:18:03,246 --> 00:18:04,645 It's an 18th century farmhouse 498 00:18:04,647 --> 00:18:06,013 that we kind of refurbished. 499 00:18:06,015 --> 00:18:07,781 Gah. Oh. 500 00:18:07,783 --> 00:18:10,850 We send romantic notes on the clothesline. 501 00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:12,017 Oh, my geez. 502 00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:14,986 And a loom in the barn. 503 00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:16,587 Poof. 504 00:18:16,589 --> 00:18:18,622 Hey, there! Hi! 505 00:18:20,192 --> 00:18:21,691 Right over here, buddy. 506 00:18:21,693 --> 00:18:23,592 I am terribly sorry, you guys. 507 00:18:23,594 --> 00:18:25,594 We got held up by an overzealous cop. 508 00:18:25,596 --> 00:18:27,596 Well, now, Fred, uh, Jess was just saying 509 00:18:27,598 --> 00:18:29,297 how much she likes model trains, right, Jess? 510 00:18:29,299 --> 00:18:31,999 I didn't know you were 511 00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:33,033 a railie. 512 00:18:33,035 --> 00:18:34,667 That's so great. 513 00:18:34,669 --> 00:18:37,002 What's your gauge? Are you a G gauge? 514 00:18:37,004 --> 00:18:40,171 Uh, G scale, gauge one? HO scale? TT scale? 515 00:18:40,173 --> 00:18:42,306 Probably not a tabletop girl, right? 516 00:18:42,308 --> 00:18:45,208 Do you do it costumed? Or do you just do it leisurely? 517 00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:46,876 I deal mostly with the, uh, 518 00:18:46,878 --> 00:18:49,478 transitional era, post-Industrial Revolution. 519 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,713 I collect a lot of open-air 520 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,047 coal engines. 521 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,816 I'm the president of my module group, actually. 522 00:18:55,818 --> 00:18:57,884 We use horn hook couplers, so I'm kind of 523 00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,119 one of the best at scenery building. 524 00:19:00,121 --> 00:19:03,622 Uh, just finished this beautiful sanitation depot, 525 00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:05,056 made completely out of balsa. 526 00:19:05,058 --> 00:19:07,825 I also was the first to implement 527 00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:11,061 wire-framed humans, so that the people are poseable. 528 00:19:11,063 --> 00:19:12,729 Station agent 529 00:19:12,731 --> 00:19:14,731 is now... now he can bend his arm 530 00:19:14,733 --> 00:19:17,500 to say hello as the train passes. 531 00:19:17,502 --> 00:19:20,002 There's one little girl I use-- I call her Sally. 532 00:19:20,004 --> 00:19:22,637 I'm also quite good at flocking snow, 533 00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:25,339 so I'm very popular around the holidays. 534 00:19:25,341 --> 00:19:28,709 Ah! Stop! Please stop. I just, uh... I ca... I can't do this. 535 00:19:28,711 --> 00:19:30,711 I can't believe I was even considering doing this. 536 00:19:30,713 --> 00:19:32,512 I can't just settle down to settle down. 537 00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:35,081 I really, really want you to consider what you're giving up. 538 00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:39,051 Yeah, Terry Gross owns the house next to us in Vermont. 539 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,019 Oh, my God. Do you run into her at syrup festivals? 540 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:42,687 We had a horse. 541 00:19:42,689 --> 00:19:44,088 Until it ran away. 542 00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:45,489 Its name was Daniel. 543 00:19:45,491 --> 00:19:47,157 Daniel Boulevard. 544 00:19:47,159 --> 00:19:49,092 I got to pick the last name, 545 00:19:49,094 --> 00:19:50,893 and I named him while we were in the car. 546 00:19:50,895 --> 00:19:51,894 I have to go! 547 00:19:51,896 --> 00:19:53,028 Let's go. Hey, listen, 548 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:54,529 Jess and I really aren't that close. 549 00:19:54,531 --> 00:19:57,164 - I'm all about horses. - We're going! 550 00:19:57,166 --> 00:19:59,065 SCHMIDT: You know what, Nick, you were right. 551 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,866 A bar isn't just a place of business. 552 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,001 It's a place for people. Mm. 553 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:05,003 Which is something I truly hate about it. 554 00:20:05,005 --> 00:20:06,504 Bunch of bottom-feeders here. 555 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,939 Chum at the bottom of the ocean. Yuck. 556 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,941 I know. And that's why, as a manager, 557 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,909 I'm thinking I have to fire you. 558 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,945 Maybe you should fire me. What do you think? 559 00:20:15,947 --> 00:20:18,080 You save enough money, buy me out one day, 560 00:20:18,082 --> 00:20:20,749 you run this place on your own. 561 00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:21,916 You really think I could? 562 00:20:21,918 --> 00:20:23,550 Yeah, definitely. 563 00:20:23,552 --> 00:20:25,351 I mean, your dumb bitch of a mother sure could. 564 00:20:25,353 --> 00:20:26,919 What? 565 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:29,087 Your-your mother, who, uh, 566 00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:31,589 we're referring to in this circumstance as a dumb bitch. 567 00:20:31,591 --> 00:20:33,457 I think she could probably... Wait, what? 568 00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:35,025 Come on. That's what you and Javier do, right? 569 00:20:35,027 --> 00:20:36,393 C... Your... Uh, your mother, 570 00:20:36,395 --> 00:20:38,194 who, uh, you know, is a dumb... is a dumb... 571 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,962 Is that not... is that not how the joke goes? 572 00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,029 I know. 573 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,196 Thanks, man. Thank you. 574 00:20:42,198 --> 00:20:43,597 Um, can I have another napkin? 575 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:46,032 Are you sure? Uh, yeah, I don't need one. 576 00:20:47,969 --> 00:20:49,201 You know, look, I know they turned out 577 00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:50,202 super weird and kind of like 578 00:20:50,204 --> 00:20:51,703 rich pimps, but... 579 00:20:51,705 --> 00:20:53,104 I just kind of miss 'em, you know? 580 00:20:53,106 --> 00:20:56,107 I'm glad they were weird. Kind of snapped me out of it. 581 00:20:56,109 --> 00:20:57,208 I was about one park day away 582 00:20:57,210 --> 00:21:00,211 from a Vermont model train-themed wedding. 583 00:21:00,213 --> 00:21:02,213 Yo, Nick, you like my shirt? 584 00:21:02,215 --> 00:21:03,781 It look like I'm naked. 585 00:21:03,783 --> 00:21:04,948 Very cool, man. 586 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:06,783 Right. Come here, man. 587 00:21:06,785 --> 00:21:08,284 Hey, get out of here. I'll catch up later. 588 00:21:08,286 --> 00:21:10,052 Boss man's got to go over the books. Okay. 589 00:21:10,054 --> 00:21:12,387 Good to have you back, man. 590 00:21:15,725 --> 00:21:18,325 Oh, this is very terrible. 591 00:21:18,327 --> 00:21:19,959 ? 592 00:21:19,961 --> 00:21:21,226 I don't believe you. 593 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:25,395 Can you put, like, 594 00:21:25,397 --> 00:21:26,496 a jazz spin on that? 595 00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:31,299 Look like an acorn. 596 00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:33,100 Start spinning. 597 00:21:33,102 --> 00:21:34,568 That's actually pretty good. 598 00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,803 I just feel really bad for Flip and Nancy. 599 00:21:36,805 --> 00:21:39,839 Shut up about Flip and Nancy.