1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,992 Well, that one diner has the best bacon. 2 00:00:02,017 --> 00:00:03,351 - Great bacon. - So I don't know. 3 00:00:03,376 --> 00:00:05,029 Ugh, come on, guys. Please, God, we're entering minute 20 4 00:00:05,054 --> 00:00:06,111 of the great brunch debate. 5 00:00:06,146 --> 00:00:08,648 The other diner does have that special fruit cup. 6 00:00:08,673 --> 00:00:10,582 - Other diner. Fruit cup. Let's go. - However, 7 00:00:10,617 --> 00:00:12,417 when I think about it, huge crowd 8 00:00:12,452 --> 00:00:14,119 - looking for that special fruit cup. - Smart. 9 00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:15,701 So now we got to think line versus bacon. 10 00:00:15,734 --> 00:00:16,677 Please, I am starving. 11 00:00:16,702 --> 00:00:18,723 Make a decision. Oh, hi. 12 00:00:18,759 --> 00:00:19,991 Do you guys want to join us? We are going 13 00:00:20,027 --> 00:00:21,249 for brunch in seven days. 14 00:00:21,274 --> 00:00:22,687 Hybrid meals are for people who are too lazy 15 00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,178 to wake up for a proper breakfast. 16 00:00:24,273 --> 00:00:27,541 Besides, we're looking for a wedding venue today. 17 00:00:27,577 --> 00:00:29,410 Good luck with these two, because if they get 18 00:00:29,445 --> 00:00:32,656 - really hungry, then all bets are off. - Curveball... 19 00:00:32,812 --> 00:00:35,416 - maybe we roast a turkey. - Have either of you ever made 20 00:00:35,451 --> 00:00:36,784 a decision in your lives? 21 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,419 - I make decisions all the time. - Disrespectful. 22 00:00:38,454 --> 00:00:40,154 - What's the last decision that you made? - First of all, 23 00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:41,756 you got to make a decision if you gonna make a decision. 24 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,225 You know what I mean? 25 00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:45,660 Of course we make decisions. How do you think 26 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,128 I'm wearing clothes right now? 27 00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:48,262 I laid those out for you, Nick. 28 00:00:48,297 --> 00:00:49,764 - But I decided to let you. - This is 29 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,818 your whole problem. Imagine how much better your life would be 30 00:00:52,843 --> 00:00:54,435 - if you could just make a decision. - She's just mad 31 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:56,804 because she had a bunch of dumb brunch ideas, 32 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:59,640 you damn fool. 33 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:02,076 Okay. Uh, well, what about this? I will sleep 34 00:01:02,111 --> 00:01:04,712 with one of you tonight if you can just decide who. 35 00:01:10,553 --> 00:01:12,195 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 36 00:01:15,663 --> 00:01:17,191 - Are you... are you serious? - I mean, 37 00:01:17,226 --> 00:01:18,826 we're talking about a one-time thing and you can't 38 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,912 get weird afterwards, but, yeah, I'm... 39 00:01:20,937 --> 00:01:22,797 down for, like, a fun half hour. 40 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,699 - And you would be there? - Yes. 41 00:01:25,257 --> 00:01:26,634 You would physically be there? 42 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:27,501 Yes. 43 00:01:31,617 --> 00:01:34,141 Can it... be nice? 44 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,377 Well, that's on you. Let me know by 9:00. 45 00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:38,343 - What if we die before then? - There's not much I can do about that. 46 00:01:38,368 --> 00:01:40,347 Okay, you know what, you know what, we'll discuss this 47 00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:42,677 amongst ourselves. I mean, uh, 48 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,351 nobody wants to see how the sausage is made, 49 00:01:44,387 --> 00:01:47,326 - am I right? - No, they don't. To the sausage factory. 50 00:01:47,351 --> 00:01:48,489 - What? - That's not what I meant. 51 00:01:48,524 --> 00:01:50,558 - Yeah. Let's go. - All right. 52 00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:51,959 - Thank you for the opportunity. - Good luck 53 00:01:51,994 --> 00:01:54,395 with your decision. 54 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:56,464 At what cost? 55 00:01:56,882 --> 00:01:59,161 One sexual barracuda to another, 56 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,267 I see what you're doing. 57 00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:01,635 You're doing it for the story. 58 00:02:01,671 --> 00:02:03,686 You want to see how deep the abyss goes. 59 00:02:03,711 --> 00:02:05,806 You want to look that monster straight into the eye. 60 00:02:05,842 --> 00:02:07,944 Maybe it's so bad that it's good. 61 00:02:09,405 --> 00:02:11,045 But it's not good. It's b... it's bad. 62 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,313 Okay, honey, calm down. 63 00:02:12,348 --> 00:02:15,049 - She's not actually gonna do it. - No, 64 00:02:15,084 --> 00:02:16,382 I'm trying to teach them a lesson. 65 00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:18,185 This isn't an '80s summer camp movie. 66 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,647 I'm not gonna sleep with somebody based on a bet. 67 00:02:20,983 --> 00:02:22,223 I'm just... I was just kind of playing along 68 00:02:22,258 --> 00:02:24,859 with the whole thing just in case they were listening at the door. 69 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,827 Something about "summer camp moogie." 70 00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:27,762 "Summer camp moogie." 71 00:02:27,797 --> 00:02:29,230 No, no, no. I got nothing. 72 00:02:29,265 --> 00:02:30,331 This isn't real, right? 73 00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:31,565 It can't be. 74 00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:33,434 - I mean... - I mean, it can't be. 75 00:02:33,469 --> 00:02:35,436 - Why would it be? - But on the off chance that it is, 76 00:02:35,471 --> 00:02:38,272 we need to take this extremely seriously. 77 00:02:38,307 --> 00:02:40,674 You're absolutely right. Okay, okay. Well, what do you suggest? 78 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,576 We do a gentlemen's debate. 79 00:02:42,612 --> 00:02:43,694 A gentlemen's debate. 80 00:02:43,718 --> 00:02:45,614 We calmly discuss who merits this opportunity 81 00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:48,115 and we come to a decision based off respect and politeness. 82 00:02:48,151 --> 00:02:50,185 I agree. So... 83 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:51,585 please proceed, sir. 84 00:02:51,621 --> 00:02:52,520 Thank you, sir. 85 00:02:52,555 --> 00:02:54,021 You're welcome, sir. 86 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,458 Okay. 87 00:02:57,493 --> 00:03:00,461 The gentleman knows that I have a monster crush on Reagan. 88 00:03:00,496 --> 00:03:02,763 But because this is such a powerful argument 89 00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:05,533 in my favor, I politely take it off the table. 90 00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:08,369 In that case, the gentleman politely... 91 00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:10,391 thanks you. 92 00:03:12,982 --> 00:03:16,744 Hmm. The gentleman was sure that the other gentleman 93 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:18,676 would not be such a jerk 94 00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:21,248 and let his friend's dreams come true. 95 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,217 Perhaps I'm not dealing with a gentleman at all. 96 00:03:24,498 --> 00:03:26,086 Perhaps I'm dealing with a dingus. 97 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,936 - Did you call me a dingus? - You're acting like a dingus. 98 00:03:27,961 --> 00:03:29,304 How can I be a dingus when you're the damn dingus? 99 00:03:29,329 --> 00:03:31,129 - You're the dingus. You're the d... - You're-you're... you are... 100 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,427 - Oh. Hey. - Hey. - Looking forward 101 00:03:33,462 --> 00:03:35,176 - to sex later. - Well, that makesthree of... 102 00:03:35,201 --> 00:03:37,398 - That makes two of us. - Well, get ready 103 00:03:37,433 --> 00:03:40,598 for the skin circus, you little peanut. 104 00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:42,903 Okay. 105 00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:43,938 Whoa. 106 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,339 I was put in an awkward situation, 107 00:03:45,374 --> 00:03:46,807 - and I reacted poorly. - Oh, whoa. 108 00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:48,409 Everything rides on this decision. 109 00:03:48,444 --> 00:03:51,278 You know, the venue is the axle of the wedding chariot. 110 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,723 I know that you have dreamed about this day 111 00:03:52,748 --> 00:03:54,849 since you were a little boy, but we are paying for this out 112 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:58,207 of our own pocket, okay? So we cannot get carried away. 113 00:03:58,411 --> 00:03:59,253 Okay. 114 00:03:59,288 --> 00:04:00,955 Yeah. 115 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,756 - Oh, I see... - Okay, this could work. 116 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,260 Yeah... Huh? 117 00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:09,296 - Oh, my God. No. - Oh! 118 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,393 Some tea lights 119 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,133 and flowers and this place could be nice. 120 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,135 It's like a Mumford & Sons music video, yeah? 121 00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:16,971 Is there hay in here? 122 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,173 We're looking for 123 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,642 the vacant warehouse for the wedding venue? 124 00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:23,378 - Vacant warehouse? - They're closing us down. 125 00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:24,812 We're all getting fired. 126 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,714 - Grab what you can! - Hey, you guys, kind of not cool. 127 00:04:26,749 --> 00:04:28,449 You were supposed to text me before you got here. Okay. 128 00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,800 Can everyone just take a seat, please? 129 00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:32,686 Can you just stop t... 130 00:04:32,722 --> 00:04:34,288 Hey, you... 131 00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:36,190 Me owe you? You ditched me 132 00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:38,235 when we were supposed to run away from home together. 133 00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,994 I built that raft for nothing! 134 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,963 We could do this all day, but I have actual feelings for her. 135 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:44,432 I thought you said feelings were off the table. 136 00:04:44,456 --> 00:04:45,657 Well, I'm putting 'em back on the table. 137 00:04:45,682 --> 00:04:47,501 I'm gonna settle this right here, right now. 138 00:04:47,536 --> 00:04:48,702 - Do it. - Cindy... 139 00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:50,905 No. 140 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:51,739 ...De La Garza. 141 00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:53,841 - Oh. - Huh, so look at me. 142 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,080 Look at me. Let it affect you. 143 00:04:57,205 --> 00:05:00,014 You knew I had a crush on Cindy De La Garza, 144 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,383 and you Frenched her anyway. 145 00:05:02,418 --> 00:05:04,385 Frenching! They're Frenching! They're Fren... 146 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,587 Chaperone! 147 00:05:06,622 --> 00:05:08,822 They're Frenching! 148 00:05:08,858 --> 00:05:10,991 I had dibs on her since the fifth grade, dude! 149 00:05:11,027 --> 00:05:13,227 - If I could un-French her, I would. - You owe me this. 150 00:05:14,119 --> 00:05:15,696 I knew that French was gonna haunt me. 151 00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:18,432 You called dibs... and I screwed up. 152 00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,100 - What you gonna say? What you gonna say? - It's you. 153 00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:22,454 Oh, yes. Man, that girl better get ready 154 00:05:22,479 --> 00:05:26,206 for some kind, attentive lovemaking. Oh. 155 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,575 Hey, uh, have you guys seen my purple sweater? 156 00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:32,179 Uh, no. And, by the way, we've made our decision. 157 00:05:32,214 --> 00:05:34,081 Wow. That was fast. You have until 9:00. 158 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:35,149 We don't need it. 159 00:05:35,455 --> 00:05:36,417 You'll be having Winston. 160 00:05:36,452 --> 00:05:38,686 - That's me. I'm Winston. - Great. Don't eat 161 00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:40,054 for two hours before. I'm really looking forward to it. 162 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,266 Bring your A-game, okay? Any previous injuries 163 00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:45,025 that I need to know about? Bring something 164 00:05:45,061 --> 00:05:46,060 to numb your mouth. 165 00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:50,097 Oh. Look. 166 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,633 The sweater was in my hand the whole time. 167 00:05:56,862 --> 00:05:58,393 You know, this woman requested my A-game. 168 00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:00,096 My A-game. Maybe it's hopeless that I could even 169 00:06:00,112 --> 00:06:02,385 please this woman sexually. What am I thinking, Winston? 170 00:06:02,401 --> 00:06:05,202 Just focus on yourself. Concentrate on yourself sexually, Winston. 171 00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:08,004 No, Winston, that is not your way. 172 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,174 I just want to head off any discussion of what your way is. 173 00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:14,821 I'm so sorry. I'm just feeling a little insecure about my body 174 00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:18,180 and the way it is connected to my face. 175 00:06:18,205 --> 00:06:20,383 Bishop... 176 00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:23,453 you have nothing to worry about. 177 00:06:24,955 --> 00:06:25,886 Really? 178 00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:27,290 Yeah. 179 00:06:28,768 --> 00:06:30,173 Okay. What's my best feature? 180 00:06:30,198 --> 00:06:32,188 Instant regret. Instant. 181 00:06:32,213 --> 00:06:34,229 The second I said it, I was like... 182 00:06:34,254 --> 00:06:35,785 - If you had to pick. - Fine. 183 00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:37,838 You have very nice... 184 00:06:37,886 --> 00:06:39,786 - That's our suspect. He's taking off! - What? 185 00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:41,657 Okay. 186 00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:42,956 Okay, I'll let you take point on this one, 187 00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:44,791 because I got to protect my duke for later. 188 00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,393 Oh, you suck so much. 189 00:06:46,428 --> 00:06:48,295 Has that park always been a pet cemetery 190 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,630 or were just crazy people burying a dog there? 191 00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:52,466 Well, I'm not even close to giving up. 192 00:06:52,924 --> 00:06:54,735 Why don't we just pop in here? 193 00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:59,106 Oh, really? We just "happened" upon The Lisbon, Schmidt? 194 00:06:59,141 --> 00:07:02,442 Purely a coincidence that we... made it just on time 195 00:07:02,478 --> 00:07:03,924 for the appointment that I made a month ago. 196 00:07:03,949 --> 00:07:05,712 Why are you doing this to yourself? 197 00:07:07,869 --> 00:07:09,985 Ah. Mr. Schmidt. 198 00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,284 May I offer you a beverage? 199 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,566 Perhaps an organic cucumber vodka spritzer? 200 00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:14,258 Yes. 201 00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:17,658 It is so beautiful. I feel like I'm inside Cate Blanchett. 202 00:07:17,683 --> 00:07:19,049 We get that a lot. 203 00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:21,618 I've got to say, I'm pretty impressed 204 00:07:21,643 --> 00:07:23,299 with how quickly you guys came to that decision. 205 00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:25,665 Well, that's 'cause you don't know how mature we are. 206 00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:28,935 You see, Winston had dibs on Cindy De La Garza since the fifth grade, 207 00:07:28,971 --> 00:07:30,904 I Frenched her in the eighth grade, so... 208 00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:35,376 So about 20 years ago Winston had a three-year-old dib, 209 00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:37,577 he never acted on it, and now you're the bad guy? 210 00:07:37,963 --> 00:07:40,080 Oh, Reagan. 211 00:07:40,658 --> 00:07:42,455 First of all, dibs can't be singular... 212 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,010 I mean, if anything, it's kind of a story 213 00:07:44,035 --> 00:07:45,768 about how indecisive Winston can be. 214 00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:47,898 - Well, no, it's a story about... - But you guys 215 00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:49,422 came to a decision... I'm proud of you. 216 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:53,326 Uh, can I... can I practice my presentation on you? 217 00:07:53,362 --> 00:07:55,362 - Sure. But I'm bored already. - Okay. 218 00:07:55,698 --> 00:07:57,364 This stuff's really boring for me. 219 00:07:58,198 --> 00:07:59,924 - For everybody, I guess. - Hmm. 220 00:08:00,369 --> 00:08:02,969 Hepatitis C can be a long... 221 00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,704 arduous experience. 222 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:05,948 But now 223 00:08:05,973 --> 00:08:09,165 discover Zilpoza from Wudai Pharmaceuticals. 224 00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,805 FDA approval... 225 00:08:10,830 --> 00:08:12,946 pending double-blind study. 226 00:08:12,981 --> 00:08:14,781 If you've had cirrhosis 227 00:08:14,817 --> 00:08:16,683 or kidney disease, 228 00:08:16,718 --> 00:08:18,218 Zilpoza... 229 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,053 may not... 230 00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:21,822 be right... 231 00:08:21,857 --> 00:08:24,024 for... you. 232 00:08:27,846 --> 00:08:30,266 You think I'm a 13-year-old boy? 233 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:31,731 I know what you're doing. 234 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,066 - What am... what am I doing? - You're trying 235 00:08:33,101 --> 00:08:34,604 to lead me on, and I won't have it. 236 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,369 Case closed! You're having Winston! 237 00:08:36,405 --> 00:08:37,571 Great, I'm having Winston. 238 00:08:37,606 --> 00:08:39,606 Uh... 239 00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,010 Mm. 240 00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:51,751 It's so juvenile, what you're doing. 241 00:08:52,158 --> 00:08:54,198 A dib is a dib. 242 00:08:56,892 --> 00:08:59,192 Oh, God, if I keep looking at the ceiling, I'm gonna cry. 243 00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,328 Damn it, we are getting sucked in... we have to leave immediately. 244 00:09:01,363 --> 00:09:03,096 It's probably not even available. 245 00:09:03,131 --> 00:09:04,898 - There's no way, right? I mean... - You're right. 246 00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:06,099 Philip. 247 00:09:06,134 --> 00:09:07,440 Hmm? Quick question. 248 00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:09,385 Look, we realize that you guys book up 249 00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:11,571 decades in advance, so please just let us know 250 00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:13,719 - that you don't have any slots available. - Actually, 251 00:09:13,744 --> 00:09:15,442 you're in luck... Shia LaBeouf had to cancel 252 00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:17,010 his solitaire tournament, 253 00:09:17,045 --> 00:09:19,613 and we have one open slot, in April. 254 00:09:19,648 --> 00:09:21,414 In April? 255 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,213 - Mm-hmm. - All right, babe, no. No, no, no, 256 00:09:23,238 --> 00:09:24,401 no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 257 00:09:24,426 --> 00:09:26,196 You need to breathe. We're just gonna enact 258 00:09:26,221 --> 00:09:28,355 the plan that we set up for when you see an ankle boot 259 00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:29,946 you really, really, really like, right? 260 00:09:29,971 --> 00:09:31,173 What do we do? We walk away... 261 00:09:31,198 --> 00:09:32,025 And if I dream about it in the middle 262 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,093 of the night, then it's meant to be. 263 00:09:33,128 --> 00:09:34,094 We're gonna walk away, Philip. 264 00:09:34,129 --> 00:09:35,362 Thank you so much for all your help. 265 00:09:35,397 --> 00:09:36,962 I should let you know, however, 266 00:09:36,987 --> 00:09:38,908 there is another interested party. 267 00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:42,971 What? Schmittyballs? 268 00:09:43,885 --> 00:09:46,133 B... B-Benjamin. 269 00:09:46,158 --> 00:09:46,973 Okay. 270 00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,275 - You're engaged? - Hmm. 271 00:09:48,310 --> 00:09:49,976 - Mazel to you, sir. - Hey, Meems, 272 00:09:50,012 --> 00:09:51,611 this is the, uh, fat guy from school 273 00:09:51,647 --> 00:09:53,079 we used to make dance for chocolate. 274 00:09:53,115 --> 00:09:54,147 - Oh. - In all fairness, 275 00:09:54,182 --> 00:09:55,448 uh, Benjamin would 276 00:09:55,484 --> 00:09:57,050 peg chocolate at my head 277 00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:58,618 while I was already dancing. 278 00:09:58,654 --> 00:09:59,719 - He what? - Benny-boo, 279 00:09:59,755 --> 00:10:01,999 I don't want to lose The Lisbon to these fat people. 280 00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:03,145 - The hell? - Don't worry, 281 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,102 Schmidtstain can't afford The Lisbon. 282 00:10:05,127 --> 00:10:06,493 - Oh. - Unless, of course, they accept 283 00:10:06,528 --> 00:10:07,928 gift certificates from fat camp. 284 00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:09,849 Benjamin, I still... I mean... I can... 285 00:10:09,874 --> 00:10:11,560 Do they do that? I'm a different... 286 00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:13,052 We'll have to ask somebody about that. 287 00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:14,145 Okay, that is it! 288 00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:17,771 - We... are booking The Lisbon. - We are? 289 00:10:17,806 --> 00:10:18,838 - Go! - No. 290 00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:20,273 I've never loved you more, Cece! 291 00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:26,980 What were you gonna say? 292 00:10:27,015 --> 00:10:29,282 What is that in reference to? 293 00:10:29,318 --> 00:10:31,255 It's been silent for 30 minutes. 294 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,586 Earlier, you were gonna tell me what my best feature was, 295 00:10:33,622 --> 00:10:34,544 and then we got distracted. 296 00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,623 - Right. By crime. - I could tell you 297 00:10:36,658 --> 00:10:38,191 - what yours is. - Oh, my God, please don't. 298 00:10:38,226 --> 00:10:40,260 - You have a lovely neck. - Really? 299 00:10:40,295 --> 00:10:43,481 Not my knuckles or, like, the skin behind my ears? 300 00:10:43,506 --> 00:10:45,265 Okay, do me. It's my turn. 301 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,450 Come on, come on, come on, come on, I need this. 302 00:10:46,474 --> 00:10:47,169 Fine. 303 00:10:47,435 --> 00:10:48,335 I will tell you, 304 00:10:48,370 --> 00:10:50,804 but then we drop it immediately and forever. 305 00:10:50,839 --> 00:10:52,038 Drop. 306 00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:53,773 You have kind eyes. 307 00:10:53,809 --> 00:10:54,975 Really? 308 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,474 Mm-hmm. 309 00:10:57,479 --> 00:10:59,123 I have kind eyes. 310 00:11:01,231 --> 00:11:02,849 I'll take that. 311 00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:05,841 You know, I always thought I had snail eyes. 312 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,821 "Immediately and forever," remember? 313 00:11:07,856 --> 00:11:09,189 I'll turn around. 314 00:11:09,224 --> 00:11:10,557 Turn around. 315 00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,192 I-I'll save my kind eyes for last. 316 00:11:12,227 --> 00:11:13,593 Okay. 317 00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:18,817 Hello? 318 00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:20,620 I'm reopening the Reagan decision. 319 00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:21,368 Wait, what? 320 00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:22,645 I already took my supplements. 321 00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:24,170 I know. I'm sorry. I'm telling her 322 00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:25,505 we've decided, and it was me. 323 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,540 Oh, no, you are not! I hear shaving. 324 00:11:27,576 --> 00:11:28,608 - Are you shaving? - No! 325 00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:30,122 I know what that means. 326 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,212 Hello? Hello, Nick? 327 00:11:33,105 --> 00:11:34,348 Damn. 328 00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:36,544 Just go. 329 00:11:37,192 --> 00:11:38,699 You mean it? 330 00:11:40,535 --> 00:11:42,222 Thank you very much, Aly. 331 00:11:42,257 --> 00:11:45,925 I am going to win this sex bet! 332 00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:56,535 We want to get married at The Lisbon. 333 00:11:56,569 --> 00:11:58,569 We want to book The Lisbon right now! 334 00:11:58,604 --> 00:12:00,571 Uh, start by filling these forms out. 335 00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:01,705 - It'll be pleasure. - Yeah, no problem. 336 00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:02,973 What's our routing number? 337 00:12:03,009 --> 00:12:04,808 - 69364278. - Just gonna give Benjamin 338 00:12:04,844 --> 00:12:07,311 - a little coffee... oh, I'm so sorry. - Hey, come on, 339 00:12:07,346 --> 00:12:09,413 - she can't do that. - No, no, she did that. I'm so sorry. 340 00:12:09,448 --> 00:12:10,848 - Yeah. - Oh, wow. 341 00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:11,879 The service is so gorgeous. 342 00:12:11,904 --> 00:12:13,489 - Really great. - You do realize 343 00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:16,331 we're not gonna decide this on who writes the fastest. 344 00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:17,932 You know, here at The Lisbon, 345 00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:20,357 - we celebrate grandeur, romance. - Oh, you are 346 00:12:20,393 --> 00:12:21,778 Schmidt out of luck, Schmidt. 347 00:12:21,803 --> 00:12:23,309 Our wedding's gonna be sick romantic. 348 00:12:23,334 --> 00:12:25,673 Our wedding's gonna be way romantic, bro. 349 00:12:25,698 --> 00:12:27,356 Quiches so small you got to wear glasses. 350 00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:28,699 Bitch, we're gonna have more white linen 351 00:12:28,724 --> 00:12:30,267 than a hospital in the Great War. 352 00:12:30,303 --> 00:12:31,202 Yeah, we're gonna have so many 353 00:12:31,237 --> 00:12:32,614 fresh cut flowers 354 00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:34,940 that you're gonna have a real bee problem 355 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,507 - up in this bitch. - We're gonna have 356 00:12:36,542 --> 00:12:38,375 spanakopita so flaky, you're gonna get crumbs 357 00:12:38,411 --> 00:12:40,511 - all over your mouth, like, what? - Our tables 358 00:12:40,546 --> 00:12:42,947 are gonna be names of cities that we've been to, like, what? 359 00:12:42,982 --> 00:12:46,383 Our wedding is gonna be so... big... 360 00:12:46,419 --> 00:12:48,739 that the Giants will come to town 361 00:12:48,764 --> 00:12:51,668 and everyone gets a big spoon. 362 00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:55,192 Philip, you-you want romance? 363 00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:56,350 Let me tell you the story about 364 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,508 how I knew that Mimi was the one for me. 365 00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:01,078 - The story is called "Lovestruck." - There's a title? 366 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,680 It was our fourth date, and we had just seen Toy Story 3 367 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:07,351 - for the second time. - Maybe it's just us, but we love Pixar. 368 00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:08,619 We're nerds. 369 00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:10,754 I reach for Mimi's hand, 370 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,237 and I was struck by lightning. 371 00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:14,628 I mean, literally, I was struck 372 00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:16,692 - Yeah. Zap. - by a bolt of lightning, Philip, 373 00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:18,948 and I... I would've been killed 374 00:13:18,973 --> 00:13:20,197 if Mimi hadn't grounded me. 375 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:22,099 We met... crying 376 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,233 over the same name 377 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,035 at the Vietnam Memorial. 378 00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:26,674 George... 379 00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:28,205 Harrison... 380 00:13:28,965 --> 00:13:29,682 Ford. 381 00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:30,941 Wha...? 382 00:13:31,731 --> 00:13:33,277 Who was our grandfather. 383 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,544 What? Making us cousins? 384 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,410 Making us cousins, because there is 385 00:13:37,435 --> 00:13:39,479 nothing more romantic 386 00:13:39,504 --> 00:13:40,984 than forbidden love. 387 00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:43,424 Between family members? I mean, that's... 388 00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:44,745 You're gonna double down with that? 389 00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,003 - Yes, I am. - He's writing "cousins" down. 390 00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:48,325 That's a positive thing. 391 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,559 No, it's not. 392 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,167 Hey. What are you doing, man? 393 00:13:51,192 --> 00:13:52,396 - We had a decision. - The decision 394 00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:54,831 wasn't valid... your dib on Cindy 395 00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:56,066 - was expired. - Okay, first of all 396 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:57,401 dibs don't expire. 397 00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,776 Also, dibs... not singular. 398 00:13:59,801 --> 00:14:01,271 And how are you still shaving? 399 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:02,606 I'm doing full body, Winston. 400 00:14:02,949 --> 00:14:04,582 I started from the bottom, now I'm here. 401 00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,510 - That's gross. - I've been doing sex prep all day. 402 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,412 I did a hundred girl push-ups. 403 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,981 I washed my feet until the water ran clear. 404 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,517 You can clean your feet all damn day... it don't matter, 405 00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,885 because I'm having sex with Reagan tonight. 406 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,087 - The decision's been made. - Well, the decision's 407 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,655 been changed... I'm having sex with Reagan. 408 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,823 - That's not gonna happen. - It is gonna happen. 409 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:20,624 Now, if you'll excuse me... 410 00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:21,959 - No, don't... - Got it! 411 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,593 - What were you going for? - The cologne. 412 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,932 - I smell so pretty! - Give me... give me my col... 413 00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:27,698 No. No, no, no. No. 414 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,934 Oh, God! Aah! 415 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,971 - What are you doing! - I don't know, man! 416 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,539 You got frickin' cologne all over me. 417 00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:36,940 I smell fantastic! 418 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,518 - Oh, my God. - We got to turn the tables on Reagan, 419 00:14:39,543 --> 00:14:41,042 - make her decide. - I don't see her 420 00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:43,018 going for it, man... the entire point 421 00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:44,481 was that we had to make a decision. 422 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:45,849 Well, then I guess we're gonna have 423 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,285 to trick her, and I know how. 424 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,519 We'll up your fee by $10,000. 425 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,221 Ten thousand and one dollar! 426 00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:53,724 Uh, Cece, we don't have $10,000. We barely have the one. 427 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,682 - Ten thousand and two dollars! - It's not your turn to bid. 428 00:14:56,707 --> 00:14:57,861 $15,000! 429 00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,830 - $15,000... - It's not... it's not... it's not worth it. 430 00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,659 It's not worth it. Yeah, but it's your dream. 431 00:15:01,684 --> 00:15:03,504 I... I know. 432 00:15:05,192 --> 00:15:06,670 But I already have my dream. 433 00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:08,839 It's marrying you. 434 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:14,478 It's all yours, Benjamin. 435 00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,380 Yes! 436 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,881 "I have my dream." 437 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:18,882 Dumb! 438 00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,223 They remind me of my 439 00:15:20,248 --> 00:15:22,853 stupid grandparents on their 60th anniversary. 440 00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,654 Old. 441 00:15:26,412 --> 00:15:27,168 Reagan. 442 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:28,860 Let me guess. You guys made a final decision? 443 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,035 Please. Sit. 444 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,096 That's probably the first time you've been right all day, 445 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,098 but yes, we have made a decision. 446 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,582 - Great. - Here's the deal, Reagan. 447 00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:38,612 It's 2016, you're a lady. 448 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,437 Your decision is important to us. 449 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:42,105 Yes, we want you to decide 450 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,708 which one of us is most attractive to you, 451 00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:46,943 and if that person is the same name 452 00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:49,579 that's on the piece of paper in this envelope, 453 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,848 then sexual relations can commence. 454 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,612 Okay, well, the logic is bulletproof. 455 00:15:53,637 --> 00:15:55,352 I just feel like if I'm gonna be making this decision, 456 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,187 I need you guys to pitch yourselves. 457 00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:59,222 For starters, I'm completely hairless, 458 00:15:59,246 --> 00:15:59,722 Okay. 459 00:15:59,723 --> 00:16:01,629 except for a straggler near one of my nipples, 460 00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:03,260 because I got scared while shaving. 461 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,518 In my fantasies, I'm a wild lover. 462 00:16:05,543 --> 00:16:07,864 In real life, my sexual prowess has been described 463 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,284 as "fine," "adequate." 464 00:16:10,309 --> 00:16:11,348 "It'll get the job done." 465 00:16:11,373 --> 00:16:13,236 That is both a lot and a little, 466 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:14,905 but either way, a tough act to follow. 467 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,973 - Winston, you're up. - Well, that's easy. 468 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:18,614 I've got kind eyes. 469 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,230 You don't have kind eyes. 470 00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:21,645 You have snail eyes. Everybody knows that. 471 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,653 I've got kind eyes. Aly told me so. 472 00:16:23,677 --> 00:16:24,433 Who's Aly? 473 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,721 Yeah, she's my partner at work. I complimented her first, 474 00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:28,901 told her she had a very nice neck, which she does. 475 00:16:28,926 --> 00:16:30,454 But what I should have said was, 476 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,692 "You got a really cool chin," or "You got some dope earlobes." 477 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,831 Honestly, everything about her is great. 478 00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:39,563 And when I'm with her, I never really notice time. 479 00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:42,628 It's probably because she is the best part of my day. 480 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,501 I should... I should have told her one of those things, 481 00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:46,403 as opposed to the neck thing, you know. 482 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:47,804 Then she told me I had kind eyes. 483 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,940 - You like Aly. - Yes. 484 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,086 - She's my partner. - Winston! 485 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,199 Come on, it's obvious. You like Aly. 486 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,504 I-I like her. I-I like Aly. 487 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,152 Oh, my goodness! 488 00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:04,221 Why did I never think of that before? 489 00:17:04,246 --> 00:17:05,682 Wow, my mouth is dry. 490 00:17:05,707 --> 00:17:07,073 Anybody else's mouth dry? 491 00:17:07,098 --> 00:17:08,925 What should I do? I don't know what to do. 492 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,020 I don't know what to do. What should I do? 493 00:17:10,045 --> 00:17:12,581 Winston, this is Cindy De La Garza all over again. 494 00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:14,434 You need to make a decision. 495 00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:16,500 I got to ask her out. 496 00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:18,637 - Good! Go! - Go ahead! Go! Good luck! 497 00:17:22,285 --> 00:17:24,608 Listen, Reagan, I am so sorry, 498 00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:28,145 but obviously, we will not be making love tonight. 499 00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:30,647 - No. It's not fair. - I'm sorry. 500 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,778 I got to go. 501 00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:34,026 Well, I guess that leaves 502 00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,652 just old Nick Miller. 503 00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:39,145 Mm. Your room or my room? 504 00:17:39,489 --> 00:17:40,551 Hmm? 505 00:17:44,559 --> 00:17:47,130 Well, both rooms have a lot of interesting possibilities. 506 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,309 Mm-hmm. 507 00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:51,535 That's a heck of a question. 508 00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,470 Your, um... 509 00:17:54,731 --> 00:17:57,135 Give me 15 minutes, and I'm gonna come back 510 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,159 and tell you which room and why from my opinion, 511 00:17:59,184 --> 00:18:00,510 and then, you can give me yours, and we can discuss. 512 00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,812 Just give me one second, and, uh, I'll be good to go. 513 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,649 I just need... two minutes tops. 514 00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:08,769 Stay there. 515 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:20,254 - Oh. - Oh! Aw, no! 516 00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:21,933 Oh, that's a lot of blood. 517 00:18:22,824 --> 00:18:24,097 Oh. 518 00:18:25,527 --> 00:18:26,525 Damn. 519 00:18:29,356 --> 00:18:32,824 Well, you're back, and you have an insane look in your eyes, 520 00:18:32,859 --> 00:18:34,959 - so... congratulations? - No, I didn't do it. 521 00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:37,462 I was, uh... You know, I thought about it. 522 00:18:37,497 --> 00:18:39,397 Oh, I don't need to know. 523 00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:41,165 Uh, yeah. 524 00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:43,201 Yeah... 525 00:18:51,386 --> 00:18:54,178 Would you like to go out after work, grab a drink with me? 526 00:18:54,472 --> 00:18:55,582 Sure. 527 00:18:57,754 --> 00:18:59,408 Sure. 528 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:01,252 All right then. 529 00:19:04,653 --> 00:19:07,087 Oh. Uh, can my boyfriend come? 530 00:19:09,605 --> 00:19:11,011 Your boyfriend? Yeah. 531 00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:12,745 Yeah, sure! 532 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,303 - How long have you guys been...? - Yeah, it's new. 533 00:19:14,338 --> 00:19:15,804 It's new. It's new. It's... 534 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:20,576 He's an agent, actually, for... animal actors? 535 00:19:20,611 --> 00:19:22,311 What am I gonna say? No. 536 00:19:22,346 --> 00:19:26,324 He should stay at home and not exist, please. 537 00:19:26,349 --> 00:19:28,408 No, I won't say that. 538 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,253 Officer down... to meet your boyfriend. 539 00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,155 I realize those were 540 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:35,224 a poor choice of words for a station. 541 00:19:36,465 --> 00:19:37,322 Nick! 542 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,561 It's almost 9:00. Are we doing this or what? 543 00:19:42,379 --> 00:19:43,744 What is that? 544 00:19:43,769 --> 00:19:46,168 You look like you're in a Boca Raton street gang. 545 00:19:46,203 --> 00:19:48,570 I didn't think you were actually gonna go through with it, 546 00:19:48,606 --> 00:19:50,418 and even if you were... 547 00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:52,582 I made a decision. 548 00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:55,550 I wouldn't want it like this. 549 00:19:56,504 --> 00:19:57,713 So I decided 550 00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,849 to put on my I'm-not-having-sex tonight outfit, 551 00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:04,219 'cause no one's gonna have sex with me in this outfit. 552 00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,066 And now I'm gonna go out and have a drink. 553 00:20:07,091 --> 00:20:08,691 Would you like to come? 554 00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:12,019 Wow. Deciding Nick. 555 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,519 Let me change. 556 00:20:18,746 --> 00:20:22,229 FYI... your I'm-not-having-sex-tonight outfit 557 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,139 is leopard print and tight. 558 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:27,088 - I don't know if you know that. - It's animal print, but it's not tight. 559 00:20:27,113 --> 00:20:29,812 These are baggy, fuzzy PJs with a flap on the butt. 560 00:20:29,847 --> 00:20:32,815 Exactly my point. You want to see what's in the envelope? 561 00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:35,584 - It's a blank sheet of paper. - You're so wrong. 562 00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:39,121 Does that look like a blank sheet of paper? 563 00:20:39,156 --> 00:20:41,058 - Very clever. - Thanks, yeah. I thought of it 564 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:42,925 when I was getting tickets to the World Series of Chili 565 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,326 and had to prove that I was human. 566 00:20:44,362 --> 00:20:46,261 Ooh, ooh. 567 00:20:46,297 --> 00:20:47,629 We've got big news, you guys. 568 00:20:47,665 --> 00:20:49,064 Champagne all around. 569 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,899 We're getting married in a... 570 00:20:50,935 --> 00:20:52,634 soon-to-be-abandoned warehouse! 571 00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:54,837 Yeah. Champagne. 572 00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:57,658 - Oh, thank you. - And I'll even give you one. 573 00:20:57,683 --> 00:21:00,175 Hey, guys, Aly is on her way to the bar. 574 00:21:00,211 --> 00:21:02,010 With her boyfriend. 575 00:21:02,046 --> 00:21:03,113 - Oh, that's the worst. - Well, you know, 576 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,314 everyone dies. Maybe he'll die. 577 00:21:04,315 --> 00:21:05,447 I'm sorry, Winston. 578 00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:06,668 Is there anything we can do to cheer you up? 579 00:21:06,693 --> 00:21:07,488 Uh, no. 580 00:21:07,512 --> 00:21:08,818 Anything that would make you feel better? 581 00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:09,985 - Anything? - Anything? 582 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,322 Well, if you insist, then. 583 00:21:12,347 --> 00:21:14,623 You asked me what I wanted. This is all want. 584 00:21:14,658 --> 00:21:16,358 All right, let's do it, let's do it. Let's just do it. Let's do it. 585 00:21:16,394 --> 00:21:18,293 ♪ Motown ♪ 586 00:21:18,329 --> 00:21:22,131 ♪ Philly's back again ♪ 587 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,198 Now slower. 588 00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:26,401 ♪ With a little ♪ 589 00:21:26,425 --> 00:21:33,195 - ♪ East coast fling ♪ - Slower... 590 00:21:33,219 --> 00:21:35,710 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com