1
00:00:00,742 --> 00:00:01,702
Good night, Sam.

2
00:00:01,727 --> 00:00:03,627
Uh, you got any place
I can put this change?

3
00:00:03,652 --> 00:00:05,151
Fahboh heh-mah.

4
00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:07,587
All right, sorry.

5
00:00:07,713 --> 00:00:09,246
I thought we had, uh, wrapped up

6
00:00:09,282 --> 00:00:10,514
the talking portion of the evening.

7
00:00:10,549 --> 00:00:11,691
Uh, football helmet.

8
00:00:11,692 --> 00:00:12,924
You're a Bears fan?

9
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,227
Oh, you know, sometimes in life

10
00:00:15,263 --> 00:00:16,895
we collect things. Trinkets.

11
00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:19,565
Some sentimental, some not.

12
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,634
Nick gave it to me.
Is that, is that weird?

13
00:00:21,634 --> 00:00:23,500
N-n-no, that's fine. I, uh,

14
00:00:23,536 --> 00:00:25,803
can't really believe
I'm saying this, 'cause

15
00:00:25,838 --> 00:00:28,534
Nick being in your life has
definitely been hard for me,

16
00:00:28,535 --> 00:00:30,200
but I'm getting used to it.

17
00:00:30,236 --> 00:00:31,735
That makes me so happy.

18
00:00:31,771 --> 00:00:35,200
Hey, this is gonna sound crazy,

19
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,511
but my parents are in town tomorrow,

20
00:00:38,521 --> 00:00:40,595
and I thought maybe you
could come meet them.

21
00:00:40,596 --> 00:00:42,684
Yes, I'd love that.

22
00:00:42,684 --> 00:00:44,884
Good. You know, family's
real important to me,

23
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,552
and before I introduce you,

24
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,866
I just wanted to make
sure that we were solid.

25
00:00:48,891 --> 00:00:50,858
We are so solid.

26
00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,268
Cece.

27
00:01:02,905 --> 00:01:04,738
- I had a sex dream.
- So?

28
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,574
It was about Nick.

29
00:01:08,544 --> 00:01:09,750
No!

30
00:01:09,751 --> 00:01:10,763
I know!

31
00:01:16,157 --> 00:01:17,342
Where are my leftovers?

32
00:01:17,342 --> 00:01:18,582
What? Who cares?

33
00:01:18,582 --> 00:01:20,015
I care. I brought it up.

34
00:01:20,051 --> 00:01:21,917
I left perfectly nice
leftovers in the fridge,

35
00:01:21,953 --> 00:01:23,416
and I expect them to be there.

36
00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:24,440
Well, now they're not.

37
00:01:24,476 --> 00:01:25,575
- End of discussion.
- No.

38
00:01:26,611 --> 00:01:28,111
Middle of discussion.

39
00:01:29,414 --> 00:01:31,288
You're not even gonna look at me?

40
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,999
When you throw away my stuff,

41
00:01:33,024 --> 00:01:34,439
- you're throwing me away.
- Mm-hmm.

42
00:01:34,464 --> 00:01:35,529
I wanted to have

43
00:01:35,565 --> 00:01:37,131
cold scallop pizza for breakfast

44
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,632
and you took that from me.

45
00:01:38,668 --> 00:01:39,867
You took that from me.

46
00:01:39,902 --> 00:01:41,068
I hope you can live with yourself.

47
00:01:41,104 --> 00:01:42,166
You're disgusting.

48
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,866
I'm actually really happy that
you're eating breakfast, Nick.

49
00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:45,828
It's nice to know that you're
taking care of yourself.

50
00:01:45,853 --> 00:01:46,465
Thank you.

51
00:01:46,465 --> 00:01:49,005
Well, I'm on my way to meet Aly

52
00:01:49,037 --> 00:01:50,558
and her boyfriend for brunch.

53
00:01:50,558 --> 00:01:53,432
And I am super excited to meet him.

54
00:01:53,534 --> 00:01:54,949
Yeah, that was sarcasm.

55
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,482
And this is shark-casm:

56
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,084
I just hate eating people.

57
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,569
Dear Lord, do you mean to tell
me that you're going to brunch

58
00:02:01,594 --> 00:02:03,561
with the woman that you
love and her boyfriend?

59
00:02:03,596 --> 00:02:05,007
That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

60
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:07,513
No, it's not that bad. I mean,
I'm in a prank marriage, anyway.

61
00:02:07,538 --> 00:02:08,626
And I'm over Aly, so...

62
00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,233
- Don't you lie to me, Winston.
- I'm not lying.

63
00:02:10,258 --> 00:02:11,617
You and both know that you are not

64
00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:13,750
even a little bit over Aly.

65
00:02:15,146 --> 00:02:15,974
I'm coming with you.

66
00:02:15,999 --> 00:02:17,131
All right, fine, Schmidt, you can come.

67
00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:18,799
But please, do me a favor?

68
00:02:18,824 --> 00:02:20,790
Don't be weird and start
smelling people's bread.

69
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:23,634
Either you eat bread,
or you don't eat bread.

70
00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:25,158
There's nothing in between, man.

71
00:02:25,158 --> 00:02:27,002
So in the dream, what was Nick...

72
00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:28,374
He was wearing this.

73
00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:30,179
He was wearing a
frickin' football helmet.

74
00:02:30,203 --> 00:02:31,109
Ah, damn.

75
00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:32,500
What happened next was primal.

76
00:02:32,535 --> 00:02:33,801
Man versus woman.

77
00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:35,670
The ancient battle of the flesh.

78
00:02:35,705 --> 00:02:37,405
Calm down. It's probably just happening

79
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,213
because you're getting
more serious with Sam.

80
00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:40,144
Yes.

81
00:02:40,145 --> 00:02:42,295
And Sam is finally, just a little bit,

82
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,545
sort of, starting to trust me.

83
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,539
And he wants me to meet his parents.

84
00:02:46,575 --> 00:02:48,050
You can't meet a man's
parents if your ex

85
00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:50,038
is making love to you in your head.

86
00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,201
I need my mind

87
00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:53,101
Nick-free by tonight.

88
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:56,361
On this bed is everything Nick gave me

89
00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:57,496
while we were together.

90
00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,830
I'm going to get rid of it
to clear my subconscious.

91
00:02:59,865 --> 00:03:01,098
All right.

92
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:02,544
Good-bye, sex helmet.

93
00:03:02,943 --> 00:03:03,806
Good-bye, uh,

94
00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:05,569
lacquered bagel with my name on it.

95
00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:07,569
Good-bye, world's tiniest hedgehog.

96
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,489
That was a gift?

97
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,189
Good-bye almost done Rubik's Cube.

98
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:14,118
Literally, it was one turn from the end

99
00:03:14,143 --> 00:03:16,718
- and he would not finish it.
- That makes sense with Nick.

100
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,560
People try to pretend like
the brain is so complicated,

101
00:03:19,584 --> 00:03:20,735
but I feel better already.

102
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,960
Well, the two most important men

103
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,673
in my life are finally meeting.

104
00:03:26,672 --> 00:03:28,889
And for some reason
this other guy's here.

105
00:03:28,914 --> 00:03:29,206
Yo.

106
00:03:29,437 --> 00:03:30,882
Hey, brunch is on me today, guys, okay?

107
00:03:30,907 --> 00:03:32,706
So, feel free to add
blue cheese to anything.

108
00:03:33,435 --> 00:03:35,268
I'm an agent for animal actors.

109
00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:36,783
He's doing pretty good.

110
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,893
He recently signed the crow
from Game of Thrones.

111
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,676
- Darnell. You know his name.
- Darnell. That's right.

112
00:03:40,677 --> 00:03:42,776
I didn't realize an animal
agent was a real job.

113
00:03:42,811 --> 00:03:45,178
Let me put it to you this way,
so the next Avatar movie

114
00:03:45,214 --> 00:03:47,114
takes place on a cat planet,

115
00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:48,924
and, uh, I was the
first one they called.

116
00:03:48,949 --> 00:03:49,882
- Shut up.
- I know.

117
00:03:49,907 --> 00:03:51,021
- I knew you were gonna like that.
- A cat planet?

118
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,495
I know. He swore me to secrecy.

119
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,409
I was gonna tell you.

120
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:55,210
My good... you know, I always thought

121
00:03:55,245 --> 00:03:56,511
Furguson should be in the movies.

122
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,513
Would you interested
in, uh, I don't know,

123
00:03:58,548 --> 00:03:59,948
taking a meeting with him?

124
00:03:59,983 --> 00:04:01,382
He's got no representation, so he's...

125
00:04:01,418 --> 00:04:03,384
Let me guess. Wait.
He has an adorable yawn?

126
00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:05,094
- Yeah.
- Of course he does.

127
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,527
He's a cat.

128
00:04:06,528 --> 00:04:08,757
But can he show up every day to work?

129
00:04:08,757 --> 00:04:10,724
I run a business. Pass.

130
00:04:11,324 --> 00:04:12,546
Yeah, never mind. Dumb idea.

131
00:04:12,546 --> 00:04:14,979
Tripp, you have got
to sit down with Furguson.

132
00:04:15,015 --> 00:04:16,642
He's literally one of the
most beautiful creatures

133
00:04:16,643 --> 00:04:17,573
I've ever laid eyes on.

134
00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:19,287
Really? I thought you hated him.

135
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:21,212
I thought you hated cats
in general, actually.

136
00:04:21,247 --> 00:04:23,447
I love Furguson, are you
kidding me? It's Furguson.

137
00:04:23,483 --> 00:04:26,851
He's got that, uh... he's got
the little, uh, his, uh...

138
00:04:26,886 --> 00:04:28,052
You know, his front?

139
00:04:28,087 --> 00:04:29,629
Does he have a headshot?

140
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:33,097
No, but W-Winston,
actually does have a lot

141
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:35,233
of 8x10 photos of the cat's face.

142
00:04:35,649 --> 00:04:37,548
All right, fine. Bring him by my office.

143
00:04:37,549 --> 00:04:39,883
Can't miss it. It's the tallest
building in Beverly Hills.

144
00:04:42,018 --> 00:04:43,856
Hey, hey, hey. Where'd you get that?

145
00:04:43,856 --> 00:04:45,255
I got this from the shoulder-less

146
00:04:45,291 --> 00:04:47,057
Dutch boy you live with.

147
00:04:48,073 --> 00:04:49,810
- Jess?
- Possibly.

148
00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:51,944
That's mine. Why are they
throwing away my stuff?

149
00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:54,314
They're throwing away me. Give it back.

150
00:04:54,349 --> 00:04:56,505
All right, but my babies come with it.

151
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,038
I don't want your rock babies.

152
00:04:58,073 --> 00:05:01,007
- Well, I'll just keep 'em.
- Okay.

153
00:05:02,475 --> 00:05:04,708
Sorry, Leviticus.

154
00:05:04,742 --> 00:05:06,142
He's tough.

155
00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:13,224
Why is everyone throwing away my stuff?

156
00:05:13,224 --> 00:05:14,934
First of all, that is not your helmet.

157
00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:15,842
You gave that to me.

158
00:05:15,842 --> 00:05:17,709
And second of all, I need a clean house.

159
00:05:17,744 --> 00:05:19,797
I need a clean room. A clean mind.

160
00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:21,294
Yeah, dirty room, dirty dreams.

161
00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:23,621
No dirty dreams.
No one had dirty dreams.

162
00:05:23,646 --> 00:05:25,955
What are you talking about?
No dirty dreams.

163
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:28,447
So there has been dirty dreams?

164
00:05:28,482 --> 00:05:31,450
- No.
- What'd you have a dream about?

165
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,766
It's interesting, Jessica.
What was it about?

166
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,241
There was no dream, dude.

167
00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:36,193
Well, which one of you is gonna crack

168
00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:38,715
and tell me what
the dream was about? Jess?

169
00:05:38,962 --> 00:05:40,462
Or Cece?

170
00:05:54,352 --> 00:05:55,099
You looked at the helmet.

171
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:56,581
- Cece!
- I did not. I did not.

172
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,305
You had a sex dream
about a Bear's helmet?

173
00:05:58,341 --> 00:05:59,640
Who was wearing it? Ditka?

174
00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,208
Vic Fangio? John Fox?

175
00:06:01,682 --> 00:06:03,415
Our GM, Ryan Pace?

176
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,882
He's cute, but come on.

177
00:06:05,883 --> 00:06:07,382
She doesn't know any
of those people, Nick.

178
00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:08,651
Cece!
So...

179
00:06:08,687 --> 00:06:10,086
She doesn't know those people.

180
00:06:10,339 --> 00:06:11,383
So it was somebody you know.

181
00:06:11,384 --> 00:06:14,187
There wasn't... No. Absolutely not. No.

182
00:06:14,212 --> 00:06:16,745
Oh, my God.

183
00:06:16,781 --> 00:06:21,665
You had a sex dream about me.

184
00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:22,289
No.

185
00:06:22,289 --> 00:06:23,949
It was... no... there was no...

186
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:26,649
Well, well, well, well, well.

187
00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:28,702
- Thanks a lot, Cece.
- That was my bad. I'm sorry.

188
00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:31,795
Pancakes and syrup, girls.

189
00:06:31,831 --> 00:06:33,931
Let's eat.

190
00:06:34,736 --> 00:06:36,561
Nick, I have to meet
Sam's parents tonight.

191
00:06:36,828 --> 00:06:38,198
I don't have time for this.

192
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,171
What will it take for you

193
00:06:39,172 --> 00:06:41,240
to just forget about this
and get rid of the helmet?

194
00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:43,106
Oh, just every single detail

195
00:06:43,142 --> 00:06:44,854
- about the dream.
- Damn.

196
00:06:44,854 --> 00:06:46,620
Now, and this one is a biggie,

197
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,474
- was I 100% percent human?
- What?

198
00:06:48,499 --> 00:06:49,435
Obviously.

199
00:06:49,436 --> 00:06:50,529
Okay, I'm just trying to figure out

200
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:51,802
the reality of the dream.

201
00:06:51,827 --> 00:06:53,392
Well, we were having sex,

202
00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:55,136
so in that sense,

203
00:06:55,137 --> 00:06:56,603
it was not reality-based at all,

204
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,373
because that's never gonna happen again.

205
00:06:58,415 --> 00:06:59,508
Oh!

206
00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:01,142
You sound like the beginning
of a Salt-N-Pepa song,

207
00:07:01,177 --> 00:07:02,943
and I just wish we could just,
like, act like adults.

208
00:07:02,979 --> 00:07:05,012
Definitely, definitely,
definitely, definitely.

209
00:07:05,048 --> 00:07:07,677
Were you just recreating
our best encounter?

210
00:07:07,865 --> 00:07:08,911
Was it Glove City again?

211
00:07:08,912 --> 00:07:11,678
- Our best was not Glove City.
- Oh, it wasn't?

212
00:07:11,714 --> 00:07:13,730
It was for you, but not for me.

213
00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,235
So what was our best, in your opinion?

214
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,163
Ooh, you just walked
right into that one.

215
00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:19,997
Okay, it wasn't something
that actually happened.

216
00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:22,372
It was historical.

217
00:07:22,466 --> 00:07:25,567
Oh, historical, so was there a dragon?

218
00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:27,737
No, it was historical.

219
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,152
You think dragons are real?

220
00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,376
I think there's a lot
of debate about it.

221
00:07:31,401 --> 00:07:32,561
And there's a lot of blogs about it.

222
00:07:32,561 --> 00:07:34,143
And I know that as a fact,
'cause I've written one.

223
00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:35,643
Do you think dinosaurs are dragons?

224
00:07:35,678 --> 00:07:36,944
There's debate about dragons, Jess,

225
00:07:36,979 --> 00:07:38,012
and we're not doing this right now.

226
00:07:38,047 --> 00:07:40,547
Wow, this office is nice.

227
00:07:42,785 --> 00:07:44,585
M... look, this is so nice of you, man.

228
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:45,819
You didn't really have to come.

229
00:07:45,855 --> 00:07:47,254
Of course, I came.

230
00:07:47,289 --> 00:07:48,989
I believe in yo...
I believe in Furguson.

231
00:07:49,859 --> 00:07:52,660
Is that offer a joke? Huh?

232
00:07:52,695 --> 00:07:56,597
Because I will feed you to my eagle.

233
00:07:56,632 --> 00:07:58,165
'Sup. Let's talk puss.

234
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,366
Ready to show me your hairy little guy?

235
00:07:59,402 --> 00:08:00,668
- What?
- Ugh.

236
00:08:00,703 --> 00:08:02,588
Oh. Yes, uh...

237
00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:04,537
Introducing...

238
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,163
The mouse murderin',
the heart burglarin',

239
00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:09,933
the king of the kennel,

240
00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:13,970
Furguson Michael Jordan Bishop.

241
00:08:18,435 --> 00:08:19,567
He's lickin' his no-no.

242
00:08:19,603 --> 00:08:20,689
America's sweetheart.

243
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:23,456
All right. This is catnip oil.

244
00:08:23,491 --> 00:08:25,858
The professional cats don't need
it to come out of the box.

245
00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:32,763
Who's a good cat?

246
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,715
Who's a good cat?

247
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,981
Who's a good cat?

248
00:08:37,263 --> 00:08:38,443
Not you. This cat doesn't have it.

249
00:08:38,444 --> 00:08:39,610
- What?
- Let me show you something.

250
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:41,479
This is a star.

251
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,429
This is Patches.

252
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,260
If you find yourself at the intersection

253
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,495
of Grace and Courage, look up.

254
00:08:50,495 --> 00:08:52,529
The street sign says, "Patches."

255
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:56,532
She is "bang, marry, kill"
in one furry little package.

256
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,487
You want to own her.

257
00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:00,489
Run to her. Run from her.

258
00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:04,547
- Wow.
- Most of all,

259
00:09:04,572 --> 00:09:05,608
you want to watch her.

260
00:09:05,608 --> 00:09:07,183
Patches is a trash cat.

261
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:10,176
This is who you take
to the Avatar audition.

262
00:09:10,481 --> 00:09:11,981
This is sexy.

263
00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:14,023
And this? This is normal.

264
00:09:14,023 --> 00:09:15,983
And normal doesn't pay for the cruise

265
00:09:15,984 --> 00:09:17,417
in the Arctic that I'm taking Aly on.

266
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:20,186
Unless I sign a baby walrus

267
00:09:20,222 --> 00:09:21,554
and then the whole thing's a write-off.

268
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:22,923
That was humiliating.

269
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,258
Yeah, for Tripp.

270
00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:27,694
Because Furguson is gonna book Avatar.

271
00:09:27,729 --> 00:09:29,696
I stole the script off of his desk.

272
00:09:29,731 --> 00:09:32,299
We're gog to crash that audition today.

273
00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:33,767
Oh.

274
00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:36,190
- Hi.
- Hey.

275
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:38,978
- Oh, uh, two, please.
- You got it.

276
00:09:44,587 --> 00:09:45,993
What's his name?

277
00:09:45,994 --> 00:09:47,227
Josh.

278
00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:49,361
So your football helmet
was caked in soot.

279
00:09:49,397 --> 00:09:50,563
Why was I a chimney sweep?

280
00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:52,430
Well, a chimney is hollow
and you're just like jamming

281
00:09:52,465 --> 00:09:54,304
- something into it.
- What does that have to do with sex?

282
00:09:54,329 --> 00:09:55,450
- Get a hold of yourself.
- Sorry.

283
00:09:55,451 --> 00:09:57,357
So you took me to a dark,
Victorian alley.

284
00:09:57,382 --> 00:09:59,182
It was filthy. I was on top.

285
00:09:59,217 --> 00:10:00,183
Okay, I'm okay with that.

286
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:01,214
Our passion drowns out

287
00:10:01,214 --> 00:10:03,114
the coughs from the orphans inside.

288
00:10:03,496 --> 00:10:05,272
And then Winston brings us scones.

289
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:05,728
And that's it.

290
00:10:05,728 --> 00:10:06,861
Really sweet of him.

291
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:08,775
I'm starving after sex,

292
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,075
especially when I have
to lay on my back.

293
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:10,959
You're starving all the time.

294
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,622
- Who invited you in this room?
- All right?

295
00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:14,373
Are we good?
Can we get rid of the helmet?

296
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:15,772
I'm concerned, as a friend,

297
00:10:15,807 --> 00:10:19,717
that Sam isn't satisfying you sexually.

298
00:10:19,742 --> 00:10:21,775
I can confidently say

299
00:10:21,797 --> 00:10:23,061
that's not what this is about.

300
00:10:23,086 --> 00:10:25,353
Maybe he's just not rotating
your tires enough, Jess.

301
00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:25,987
What?

302
00:10:25,987 --> 00:10:27,373
You know you need that
at least once a month.

303
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:27,725
Nick.

304
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,693
For sex, that's not enough.

305
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:33,364
And for literal tire rotation,
that's way too frequent.

306
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,899
Not when you drive like I do.

307
00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:36,262
Not...

308
00:10:36,263 --> 00:10:37,905
when you drive like I do.

309
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,853
I have to get ready
to meet Sam's parents.

310
00:10:39,878 --> 00:10:41,287
Will you please get out of here?

311
00:10:41,288 --> 00:10:42,482
Yes. I'm leaving,

312
00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:44,282
but I will not throw away this helmet.

313
00:10:44,317 --> 00:10:47,184
Why? You didn't care about that
helmet when you gave it to me?

314
00:10:47,219 --> 00:10:48,560
Yes, I did. It was a Christmas gift.

315
00:10:48,561 --> 00:10:50,326
I gave you a Christmas present,

316
00:10:50,361 --> 00:10:54,078
and you said, Christmas? What? Hold up.

317
00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:55,551
And then you went and got that helmet.

318
00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:56,600
Unwrapped.

319
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:57,800
What was I supposed to do with it?

320
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,074
- Wear it?
- I wouldn't do...

321
00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:02,388
Oh, the perfect ensemble
for a night at the theater.

322
00:11:02,389 --> 00:11:04,286
Throw whatever you want at me, Blue Men.

323
00:11:04,287 --> 00:11:05,552
I'm ready.

324
00:11:05,756 --> 00:11:08,490
Oh, crap. That's Sam. Ugh.

325
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,540
Okay, why won't this come off?

326
00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:13,551
Probably because it's
a child-size medium.

327
00:11:13,576 --> 00:11:14,454
What?!

328
00:11:14,454 --> 00:11:16,446
Why would you give me a child's helmet?

329
00:11:16,471 --> 00:11:17,504
I didn't think you were gonna put it on.

330
00:11:17,539 --> 00:11:18,878
Cece, help me, help me.

331
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,172
- Yeah, I got it.
- I can't meet Sam's parents like this.

332
00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:23,030
Okay, ready?

333
00:11:23,436 --> 00:11:24,264
It's not going to help.

334
00:11:24,289 --> 00:11:25,755
Okay, no, it's-it's really stuck, babe.

335
00:11:25,948 --> 00:11:26,981
Suck your head in.

336
00:11:27,016 --> 00:11:28,649
I can't suck my head in.

337
00:11:28,684 --> 00:11:30,184
Then throw a jersey on and pants,

338
00:11:30,219 --> 00:11:31,819
and just pretend you're
a little football player.

339
00:11:31,819 --> 00:11:33,094
I can't go out with a helmet.

340
00:11:33,095 --> 00:11:34,294
You look ridiculous.

341
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:37,184
I'm aware.

342
00:11:38,042 --> 00:11:39,921
Cece, can you go out
there and stall Sam?

343
00:11:39,921 --> 00:11:41,220
He knows that Nick gave me this helmet

344
00:11:41,256 --> 00:11:42,789
and he can't see me in it.

345
00:11:42,824 --> 00:11:44,257
Okay, what's my lie? Chlamydia?

346
00:11:44,292 --> 00:11:47,193
No! No! Anything else.
Literally, anything else.

347
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,019
Okay, anything else, okay.

348
00:11:50,999 --> 00:11:52,765
Hey, hey, Legs.

349
00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:54,541
What's up?

350
00:11:56,159 --> 00:11:57,906
You and I have never
really clicked, huh?

351
00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:03,009
Oh, boy.

352
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,012
Wow.

353
00:12:07,515 --> 00:12:08,681
Oh, my God.

354
00:12:08,717 --> 00:12:10,650
Patches is walking like a person.

355
00:12:12,487 --> 00:12:14,654
This was a enormous mistake.

356
00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:25,050
Is it, um, hard being a doctor?

357
00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:26,851
- Yeah.
- Oh.

358
00:12:26,887 --> 00:12:28,520
What's taking Jess so long?

359
00:12:28,555 --> 00:12:30,422
Get! Off!

360
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:31,857
- Stop, you're gonna break it.
- My! Head!

361
00:12:31,892 --> 00:12:34,350
Whatever. I'll buy you a new one.

362
00:12:36,894 --> 00:12:37,374
You can't.

363
00:12:37,374 --> 00:12:39,608
My dad gave it to me.

364
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,797
You gave me something
that your dad gave you?

365
00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:52,454
Well... I just used it
to put dirty change in.

366
00:12:52,489 --> 00:12:53,955
Why didn't you tell me?

367
00:12:53,991 --> 00:12:55,724
I don't like talking
about emotional stuff,

368
00:12:55,759 --> 00:12:57,425
especially about my dead father.

369
00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:01,062
No, I... yeah.

370
00:13:01,098 --> 00:13:04,366
I get it. I get... I get
it as much as someone

371
00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:07,936
who has two, living,
healthy parents can.

372
00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:08,734
Easy.

373
00:13:08,735 --> 00:13:10,244
Oh, God, I'm sorry.

374
00:13:10,269 --> 00:13:12,038
That was... was that too harsh?

375
00:13:12,063 --> 00:13:14,931
I just... I'm messing everything up.

376
00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:16,656
You know what? I'm just gonna

377
00:13:16,656 --> 00:13:19,394
tell Sam everything,
and I'll see what happens.

378
00:13:19,394 --> 00:13:20,626
No.

379
00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:23,045
I think I know how to get it off.

380
00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:24,632
Okay, run backwards.

381
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,932
- Yeah, it's not working.
- It's not working.

382
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,233
You run backwards.

383
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,391
- It's moving. Rock with me.
- Okay.

384
00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,693
All right. Well, don't stop.

385
00:13:40,711 --> 00:13:42,611
You got to keep going. Do it harder.

386
00:13:42,636 --> 00:13:44,328
If it slips out, tell me.
I don't want to

387
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:45,509
accidentally put it back in.

388
00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:46,900
Don't stop, Whatever you do, don't stop.

389
00:13:46,925 --> 00:13:47,443
Just relax.

390
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,111
Don't stop.

391
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,648
- Jess?
- Oh.

392
00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:56,250
Oh. No, no. There was a scallop pizza...

393
00:13:56,282 --> 00:13:57,711
No, I was mad at Nick,

394
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:58,865
- and it was in the fridge.
- so I put the helmet on.

395
00:13:58,865 --> 00:13:59,637
Schmidt threw it away.

396
00:13:59,637 --> 00:14:00,702
What is going on here?

397
00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:02,437
Okay, um...

398
00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:06,370
I had a sex dream about Nick.

399
00:14:07,189 --> 00:14:07,966
Let me back up.

400
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:10,245
Last night, you asked me
about this helmet.

401
00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:12,158
Sorry. Let me fast forward.

402
00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:14,094
The helmet's stuck on my head.

403
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,755
Look, I know this is a lot to ask,

404
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:20,308
but is there any way,
you could just trust me

405
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:24,535
when I tell you that it was
just a stupid sex dream.

406
00:14:25,571 --> 00:14:28,839
Okay, yes. Yeah, no. I trust you.

407
00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:31,008
Thank you.

408
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:33,878
But right now, my parents
are expecting us.

409
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:34,979
So, you know, a lot of kids

410
00:14:35,014 --> 00:14:35,880
come into the hospital

411
00:14:35,881 --> 00:14:36,988
with stuff stuck on their head.

412
00:14:36,989 --> 00:14:39,519
Do you guys have a
screwdriver or a hammer?

413
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:46,067
Oh, uh, we can't break it 'cause...

414
00:14:46,666 --> 00:14:48,295
Nick's dad gave it to him.

415
00:14:52,445 --> 00:14:54,675
Right. Uh, well...

416
00:14:55,745 --> 00:14:56,729
I have to go meet my parents,

417
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,376
so I'll call you tomorrow.

418
00:15:03,742 --> 00:15:06,499
Hey. What are you doing out here, man?

419
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,338
I'm sorry I got us into this, Winston.

420
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,632
That frickin' cat's a genius. Yeah.

421
00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:13,899
I don't want to humiliate your cat.

422
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,767
I care about Furguson. I don't want...

423
00:15:15,802 --> 00:15:17,269
I don't want that poor
thing to be humiliated.

424
00:15:17,312 --> 00:15:18,457
Hey, hey, hey.

425
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:20,418
I can't imagine his
self-esteem level already.

426
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,418
It's got to be very low.

427
00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:23,685
Through the frickin'
roof, the self-esteem.

428
00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:25,687
Don't worry about Furguson, okay?

429
00:15:25,723 --> 00:15:27,281
Okay, I can't do this anymore.

430
00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:29,581
Are we talking about Furguson,
or are we talking about you?

431
00:15:29,616 --> 00:15:31,316
- We're talking about me, okay?
- I knew it.

432
00:15:31,351 --> 00:15:33,118
Furguson is me.
Patches is Tripp, all right?

433
00:15:33,153 --> 00:15:34,860
I knew... we've been dancing
around that all day.

434
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:35,730
Can we please go?

435
00:15:35,731 --> 00:15:37,032
I haven't eaten anything in six hours.

436
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,199
You know what? No.

437
00:15:38,235 --> 00:15:39,668
Patches may know a lot of tricks,

438
00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:41,569
but you know how
Furguson's gonna get Aly?

439
00:15:41,605 --> 00:15:43,924
I think you're getting lost,
Winston, but keep going.

440
00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:45,949
He's gonna keep trying, okay?

441
00:15:45,949 --> 00:15:47,582
He's never gonna give up.

442
00:15:47,617 --> 00:15:48,983
That's his trick.

443
00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:51,271
Now come on, man.
Let's get back in there.

444
00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:53,507
Come on.

445
00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,990
- Come on.
- All right.

446
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,324
- Let's go.
- Yeah, no. Let's do this.

447
00:15:56,349 --> 00:15:57,195
Let's go.

448
00:16:06,271 --> 00:16:07,337
What are you guys doing here?

449
00:16:07,372 --> 00:16:08,705
Wait a second.

450
00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:10,363
You're not auditioning
that housecat, are you?

451
00:16:10,388 --> 00:16:12,989
Oh, that is exactly what I'm doing.

452
00:16:13,024 --> 00:16:15,124
Tripp, can I borrow that
catnip oil just for a sec?

453
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,716
Sure, but I think you know very well

454
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:19,265
it's not going to help you in there.

455
00:16:19,266 --> 00:16:21,165
We'll see about that.

456
00:16:22,369 --> 00:16:22,958
Oh, my God.

457
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,450
That stuff is so concentrated.
What are you doing?

458
00:16:25,475 --> 00:16:27,145
Aha!

459
00:16:27,997 --> 00:16:30,058
It looks like Patches is
gonna have a little trouble

460
00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:31,591
concentrating on her audition.

461
00:16:36,331 --> 00:16:37,731
God save me.

462
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,967
Furguson, avenge me!

463
00:16:41,002 --> 00:16:42,202
Avenge me!

464
00:16:47,986 --> 00:16:49,219
I need a straw.

465
00:16:49,392 --> 00:16:51,197
Ugh, I should be charming the pants off

466
00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:52,913
Sam's parents right now.

467
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,319
Jess.

468
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:55,922
We're gonna break it.

469
00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:57,130
But what about your dad?

470
00:16:57,131 --> 00:16:58,452
Look, it sucks to admit,

471
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:02,474
but Sam's a really good guy
with above average handsomeness.

472
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:06,356
And he's above six feet tall,
which I know means a lot to you.

473
00:17:06,391 --> 00:17:08,558
And he makes you happy, and so...

474
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:10,986
I think it's time for me to

475
00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:13,059
stop coming in between you guys.

476
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,280
Let's do this. Let's have
a little bit of fun, huh?

477
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:25,051
I will be going on the count of three.

478
00:17:25,272 --> 00:17:28,998
One, zero, two, three, four...

479
00:17:29,023 --> 00:17:30,088
What are you doing?

480
00:17:30,123 --> 00:17:31,013
You never go on three.

481
00:17:31,038 --> 00:17:33,272
You want to catch the patient off guard.

482
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:34,353
It's less scary that way.

483
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,980
Everybody knows it.
It's just a doctor trick.

484
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:39,347
Nick. So this time I am going on three.

485
00:17:40,377 --> 00:17:43,449
- One, two, three, four...
- Do it!

486
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:51,425
So this is the famous Patches.

487
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,645
No. I am...

488
00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:56,742
Winston L'andre Bishop

489
00:17:56,777 --> 00:17:58,363
and this is:

490
00:17:58,364 --> 00:18:00,331
the king of cats.

491
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:01,631
Lover of mats.

492
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,577
No friend of rats.

493
00:18:03,578 --> 00:18:06,946
The kitty from Angel City,

494
00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:10,705
Furguson Michael Jordan...

495
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:11,614
Bishop.

496
00:18:21,798 --> 00:18:22,997
He just, poof...

497
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,799
- I'm gonna try to settle him down.
- and disappeared.

498
00:18:27,783 --> 00:18:30,828
♪ What would you do
if your son was at home ♪

499
00:18:30,828 --> 00:18:32,238
♪ Crying all alone ♪

500
00:18:32,263 --> 00:18:34,329
- ♪ On the bedroom floor ♪
- Oh, my God,

501
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,023
he's singing to the cat.

502
00:18:36,024 --> 00:18:38,164
- Come on.
- He's singing to the cat.

503
00:18:38,235 --> 00:18:39,317
Let's get out of here.

504
00:18:39,317 --> 00:18:40,739
It's okay. We're here. We're here.

505
00:18:40,764 --> 00:18:42,064
Okay, Patches is here.

506
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:47,363
I was four steps away from freedom

507
00:18:47,363 --> 00:18:49,029
and I fell.

508
00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:51,561
Oh, they were on me,
and they traversed me.

509
00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:52,727
It was like I was their city

510
00:18:52,762 --> 00:18:54,128
and they were all rushing to work.

511
00:18:54,164 --> 00:18:55,997
May I just please take
a moment with Patches?

512
00:18:56,032 --> 00:18:57,365
She needs a, a moment to center herself.

513
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,851
She almost OD'd on catnip.

514
00:18:58,852 --> 00:19:00,217
Forget about Patches.

515
00:19:00,252 --> 00:19:02,251
You should represent
more cats like Furguson.

516
00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:03,913
- What?
- What? You were laughing at him.

517
00:19:03,913 --> 00:19:05,055
He's an original.

518
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,078
Makes Patches look
like a Culkin brother.

519
00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:08,102
What?!

520
00:19:09,873 --> 00:19:11,239
It's hard to celebrate this moment

521
00:19:11,274 --> 00:19:14,576
with so much cat hair in my mouth.

522
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:15,675
You did it, buddy.

523
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:17,647
Really? Really? Now you're gloating?

524
00:19:17,672 --> 00:19:18,920
- Huh? Winston?
- Ah.

525
00:19:18,921 --> 00:19:19,920
Do you have to be such a dick?

526
00:19:21,716 --> 00:19:23,304
I mean, you're already so intimidating.

527
00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:25,604
Do you have to go out of your
way to actually get at me?

528
00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:26,583
Intimidating?

529
00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,687
Aly talks about you all
the time, obviously.

530
00:19:28,712 --> 00:19:30,645
You're a cop. You're a hero.

531
00:19:30,681 --> 00:19:33,481
Last weekend, I went to
a turtle's birthday party.

532
00:19:33,517 --> 00:19:34,716
This is oddly emotional.

533
00:19:34,751 --> 00:19:37,152
- You're intimidated by me?
- Yes.

534
00:19:37,187 --> 00:19:38,853
It's funny how life works, man.
It's ironic.

535
00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:40,689
This is amazing.

536
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:42,290
You know what, Tripp?

537
00:19:42,718 --> 00:19:43,493
You don't have to worry about

538
00:19:43,494 --> 00:19:45,326
Furguson competing with Patches.

539
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:46,661
Yeah.

540
00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:48,463
I'm taking him out of the game.

541
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:49,898
I don't like this life for him.

542
00:19:50,835 --> 00:19:51,842
Oh, yeah!

543
00:19:51,867 --> 00:19:54,496
You blew it, son.

544
00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:56,243
Oh, God, am I unhappy.

545
00:19:58,189 --> 00:20:01,123
I'm casting cats.

546
00:20:01,421 --> 00:20:03,855
Hi. So sorry I'm late.

547
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:05,890
It's a long story.

548
00:20:05,935 --> 00:20:08,436
- I'm really glad you made it.
- Me, too.

549
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:12,268
- Uh, Dad, Dad, this is Jess.
- Hi.

550
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:13,435
- So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

551
00:20:15,075 --> 00:20:16,412
Oh. Huh. A little piece of helmet.

552
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,550
What did you think of Tripp?

553
00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:23,018
I know he's a little intense.

554
00:20:23,053 --> 00:20:25,999
Well, look, I mean,
if he makes you happy,

555
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:29,828
then, uh... and I like him, so...

556
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,100
Thanks.

557
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,913
You know, for a guy
who eats his raisins hot,

558
00:20:34,241 --> 00:20:36,141
your opinion means a lot to me.

559
00:20:36,176 --> 00:20:37,709
Thank you.

560
00:20:38,746 --> 00:20:40,254
What's up with Schmidt?

561
00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:43,228
Oh, he's haunted.

562
00:20:43,415 --> 00:20:44,714
- Hey.
- Hey.

563
00:20:44,739 --> 00:20:45,705
Did you have a dream last night?

564
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,307
Yeah, just the usual.

565
00:20:47,342 --> 00:20:49,857
You know, the one where
I'm in a muffin test kitchen

566
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:52,658
and Hillary Clinton
tells me my muffins suck.

567
00:20:52,692 --> 00:20:54,025
So that's the regular one.

568
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:55,860
Got you a present.

569
00:20:55,896 --> 00:20:57,729
- Can I open it right now?
- Yes.

570
00:20:58,932 --> 00:21:01,032
Oh.

571
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:05,593
I thought you could
hang it on the wall here.

572
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,071
I love that.

573
00:21:07,096 --> 00:21:08,973
It's like your dad's
looking over the bar.

574
00:21:08,973 --> 00:21:10,373
Aw, thank you, Jess.

575
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:12,085
It's really nice.

576
00:21:14,318 --> 00:21:15,490
All right.

577
00:21:15,717 --> 00:21:17,951
Now to be fair, I've had some
sex dreams about you, too.

578
00:21:18,301 --> 00:21:20,337
First, there was the one
where I was a spider

579
00:21:20,338 --> 00:21:21,821
and instead of legs it was penises.

580
00:21:21,853 --> 00:21:23,319
- No, I'm out.
- It was eight penises...

581
00:21:23,344 --> 00:21:24,476
- Yeah, I know.
- Oh.

582
00:21:24,609 --> 00:21:26,176
You were there, too.

583
00:21:26,211 --> 00:21:27,510
I'm out.

584
00:21:27,546 --> 00:21:29,245
- Was I there?
- And I'm out.

585
00:21:29,281 --> 00:21:31,281
Oh, that would've been so cool.

586
00:21:31,305 --> 00:21:35,405
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -