1
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,858
Nick!
We need to talk.
2
00:00:19,925 --> 00:00:20,925
Winston stays.
End of discussion.
3
00:00:20,993 --> 00:00:22,261
No, dude.
4
00:00:22,328 --> 00:00:23,428
I got your
Thanksgiving invitation.
5
00:00:23,496 --> 00:00:25,730
(music playing, turkey gobbling)
6
00:00:27,432 --> 00:00:29,833
- Did you make this?
- Absolutely not.
7
00:00:29,901 --> 00:00:31,535
He's announcing Thanksgiving!
8
00:00:31,603 --> 00:00:34,639
With his little trumpet,
he's announcing the feast!
9
00:00:34,706 --> 00:00:35,806
It's so funny...
(laughing)
10
00:00:35,874 --> 00:00:37,608
(turkey gobbling)
11
00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:39,116
We should name that
little guy Roger.
12
00:00:39,144 --> 00:00:41,578
When your testicles fell off,
13
00:00:41,646 --> 00:00:44,080
did you form lady parts,
14
00:00:44,148 --> 00:00:46,149
or is it kind of like
a Gonzo nose down there?
15
00:00:46,216 --> 00:00:47,484
It's really interesting.
Yeah.
16
00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:49,118
You see, the thing is,
17
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:50,420
my testicles haven't fallen off...
Right.
18
00:00:50,488 --> 00:00:51,821
...it's just
the morning.
19
00:00:51,889 --> 00:00:54,056
And my testicles do
this really unique thing
20
00:00:54,124 --> 00:00:56,326
of burrowing...
when it's cold out.
21
00:00:57,694 --> 00:00:59,895
You're burning me.
22
00:00:59,962 --> 00:01:01,129
- I gotta be real with you.
- Please.
23
00:01:01,197 --> 00:01:02,731
I know how a guy can get, like,
24
00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:04,065
lost in a relationship.
25
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:06,635
I've been there, dude.
You're snuggling,
26
00:01:06,703 --> 00:01:07,670
you're snuggling,
you're snuggling,
27
00:01:07,737 --> 00:01:08,970
and then, bam!
28
00:01:09,038 --> 00:01:10,872
Next thing you know,
you're wearing
29
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,208
a jean skirt and a tube top
with no panties on,
30
00:01:13,276 --> 00:01:14,676
because you guys
said you were gonna
31
00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:16,511
dress up like each other
for Halloween.
32
00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:17,912
But she doesn't
dress up like you.
33
00:01:17,979 --> 00:01:19,681
But you still go to the party.
34
00:01:19,748 --> 00:01:21,482
I could not be
more sorry for you,
35
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,684
but that's not my story.
36
00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:23,685
Stand up.
37
00:01:23,752 --> 00:01:25,986
Stand up?
Yeah.
38
00:01:26,054 --> 00:01:27,355
Okay.
39
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,321
Are those Jessica's
pajama bottoms?
40
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:35,529
It's, uh...
41
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,063
football player pants for, uh,
42
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:38,398
br-breast cancer awareness.
43
00:01:38,518 --> 00:01:42,717
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
44
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:45,771
I like the way that
they hug my gronk.
45
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,273
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
46
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,975
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
47
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,977
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess. ♪
48
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,646
JESS:
Camping on Thanksgiving?
49
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,049
It might be a crazy Nick idea,
but I kind of like it.
50
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,117
I thought you hated
camping and nature.
51
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,119
You said you were
afraid a fly was gonna
52
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,121
fly in your head and
learn all your thoughts.
53
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,656
I am a man,
54
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,124
and men belong in wilderness.
55
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:08,861
It really means a lot to me.
56
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:10,128
The only thing I care about
57
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,297
is that we're all together.
58
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,805
And that we can all
sit down together
59
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,067
and have a nice dinner.
60
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,568
I 100% agree.
61
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:17,669
I think everybody's
gonna love this idea.
62
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,270
Me, too.
63
00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:21,105
- Camping? - Like we're animals?
- What the hell?
64
00:02:21,173 --> 00:02:22,206
Come on.
Hear him out.
65
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:23,107
Let's face it.
66
00:02:23,175 --> 00:02:24,342
Our indoor Thanksgivings
67
00:02:24,409 --> 00:02:25,609
haven't been so great.
68
00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:27,611
Turkey!
Dead body!
69
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:28,579
I think I'm into your mother.
70
00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:30,114
So this can't be worse.
71
00:02:30,182 --> 00:02:31,702
Thank you, Jessica,
I got it from here.
72
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:34,218
All right.
This Thanksgiving,
73
00:02:34,286 --> 00:02:37,621
I want to honor the traditions
of our forefathers.
74
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:39,823
The mighty Pilgrims
and Native Americans
75
00:02:39,891 --> 00:02:42,393
who came together
in order to survive.
76
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,027
Sure, yeah.
77
00:02:44,095 --> 00:02:46,196
The first chapter in
a proud history of cooperation.
78
00:02:46,264 --> 00:02:48,866
It'll be the ultimate test
of manhood
79
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,733
and our survival skills.
80
00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,234
- It will?
- WINSTON: How's this
81
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,169
for a test of our manhood?
We stay at home,
82
00:02:54,237 --> 00:02:55,517
we drink beer,
we watch football.
83
00:02:55,539 --> 00:02:57,407
Manhood.
I like that idea.
84
00:02:57,474 --> 00:02:59,174
Winston, I'm talking
about real men.
85
00:02:59,242 --> 00:03:00,843
Me, too.
Men who fend for themselves.
86
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:02,344
You're the laziest man I know.
87
00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:03,613
Okay, Jess, be honest with me.
88
00:03:03,614 --> 00:03:04,781
Has he ever been on top?
89
00:03:04,848 --> 00:03:06,649
Real men are on the bottom.
90
00:03:06,717 --> 00:03:07,917
No, they're not.
(laughing)
91
00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:08,918
- You're on the bottom...
- Guys, guys.
92
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,219
It's Thanksgiving.
93
00:03:10,287 --> 00:03:11,987
We need to be together.
94
00:03:12,055 --> 00:03:12,988
Who's in?
95
00:03:14,224 --> 00:03:15,457
Come on, guys!
96
00:03:15,525 --> 00:03:16,858
- All right, I'm in.
- What?
97
00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:17,927
- Yeah, Schmidt!
- Yes!
98
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,161
Look, my parents
were super divorced
99
00:03:19,229 --> 00:03:20,695
and they never took me camping,
100
00:03:20,763 --> 00:03:22,597
but I always thought
that I'd be incredible at it.
101
00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:23,831
Let's get ready.
102
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:24,999
WINSTON:
What the hell
103
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:26,534
is on your head, Schmidt?
104
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,162
SCHMIDT: It's an exact
replica of the hat.
105
00:03:28,203 --> 00:03:29,103
Viggo Mortensen wore
in Hidalgo.
106
00:03:29,171 --> 00:03:30,138
Knew you'd like it.
107
00:03:30,205 --> 00:03:31,239
(Jess chuckles)
108
00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:35,443
JESS:
Wow!
109
00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:37,011
Nice job, Miller!
110
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:38,446
This spot's beautiful.
111
00:03:38,513 --> 00:03:39,746
NICK:
I know.
112
00:03:39,814 --> 00:03:42,182
- Cece!
- Cece's here?
113
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,650
I didn't know she
was gonna be here.
114
00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:46,653
Yay, I'm so happy you came!
115
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,155
(laughs) We're all together!
116
00:03:48,222 --> 00:03:49,756
- It makes me so excited.
- Of course!
117
00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:51,258
I mean, what could be better
118
00:03:51,326 --> 00:03:53,026
than camping in the woods
with my ex-boyfriend
119
00:03:53,094 --> 00:03:54,527
and his friend
I just made out with.
120
00:03:54,595 --> 00:03:55,761
With whom you just made out.
121
00:03:55,829 --> 00:03:56,662
- Don't.
- It's very important.
122
00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:57,930
You know I hate that.
123
00:03:57,998 --> 00:03:59,038
- Don't.
- Grammar's important.
124
00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:00,299
Seriously, don't.
125
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:01,767
If it get awkward,
I'll come save you.
126
00:04:01,835 --> 00:04:03,735
Happy Thanksgiving!
127
00:04:03,803 --> 00:04:05,104
JESS:
Yay!
128
00:04:05,172 --> 00:04:06,305
(chuckles)
129
00:04:06,373 --> 00:04:07,739
Hey, what's up, girl?
130
00:04:07,807 --> 00:04:09,375
Hey, Cece.
131
00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:17,615
(clears throat)
132
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:20,651
Hey, I never, uh...
133
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:21,640
had a chance to ask you.
134
00:04:21,653 --> 00:04:23,088
How did the, um...
135
00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:24,289
How'd your guys' date
go the other night?
136
00:04:24,357 --> 00:04:25,790
- Oh, with Cece?
- Yeah.
137
00:04:25,858 --> 00:04:27,591
Uh... it was...
138
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,925
I loved it.
139
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:30,327
I mean, it was good.
140
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,528
It was cool.
141
00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:32,963
That's great.
142
00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:34,098
Super.
143
00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:37,167
- Super-duper.
- So where you thinking
144
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,536
- about pitching, uh, pitching a tent?
- Thinking over there.
145
00:04:39,604 --> 00:04:41,105
- Oh, yonder?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
146
00:04:41,172 --> 00:04:43,272
- Yonder. - Listen, I've been
researching on the Internet
147
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:44,907
for the past 12 hours
148
00:04:44,975 --> 00:04:46,542
everything there is
to know about the wood.
149
00:04:46,610 --> 00:04:49,078
Now I'm a...
I'm a master camper.
150
00:04:49,146 --> 00:04:51,180
So if you need any help
with anything,
151
00:04:51,248 --> 00:04:52,948
just come to me and ask, okay?
152
00:04:53,017 --> 00:04:54,283
(chuckling):
Thanks, man.
153
00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:55,451
I don't know anything
about the wood.
154
00:04:55,519 --> 00:04:56,819
I know everything.
I'm lost.
155
00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:57,820
What is that, a tree?
156
00:04:57,888 --> 00:04:59,354
If these trees were skyscrapers,
157
00:04:59,422 --> 00:05:00,989
- you'd feel very comfortable.
- Yeah.
158
00:05:01,057 --> 00:05:02,891
I'd be right at home.
Unfortunately,
159
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:04,393
- they're actual trees.
- (chuckling): Yeah.
160
00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:06,461
You're the best.
I love the hat!
161
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:09,097
I'm sorry, is that a
solar cell phone charger?
162
00:05:09,165 --> 00:05:12,767
Yeah, I can't go more
than two days without it.
163
00:05:12,835 --> 00:05:16,370
(quietly): Okay, hold on. Do you...
do you hate camping, too?
164
00:05:16,438 --> 00:05:19,540
Are you kidding me?
I absolutely hate camping.
165
00:05:19,607 --> 00:05:21,708
Then why are we here?
166
00:05:21,776 --> 00:05:23,911
Because I didn't get a say.
I never get a say.
167
00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:26,347
Whenever I want to do something,
they don't give a hoot.
168
00:05:26,415 --> 00:05:28,749
Guess who just got free passes
to a pottery seminar.
169
00:05:28,816 --> 00:05:29,776
- Get out of here.
- Winston!
170
00:05:29,817 --> 00:05:30,717
We could've made
171
00:05:30,785 --> 00:05:33,186
the craziest mugs, man.
172
00:05:33,254 --> 00:05:35,255
(grunts)
173
00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:37,524
- Hey, Nick?
- Yeah.
174
00:05:37,591 --> 00:05:40,026
There's just beer in here. That should
last us for the first few hours,
175
00:05:40,094 --> 00:05:41,294
- actually.
- Where's the food?
176
00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:42,862
Where-where are all
the pies I made?
177
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:44,364
Look, don't worry, Jess.
178
00:05:44,432 --> 00:05:48,300
'Cause the food is...
right here.
179
00:05:48,368 --> 00:05:51,603
I'm... sorry.
I don't understand that gesture.
180
00:05:51,671 --> 00:05:54,239
We're gonna be hunting
and foraging for our dinner,
181
00:05:54,307 --> 00:05:56,641
just like the Indians
and the Pilgrims.
182
00:05:59,645 --> 00:06:01,846
But you brought beer.
183
00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:03,874
You can't forage for beer.
And that's a necessity.
184
00:06:04,916 --> 00:06:06,350
So this is Thanksgiving meal?
185
00:06:06,418 --> 00:06:08,419
96 warm beers?
186
00:06:08,487 --> 00:06:09,620
We can do this.
187
00:06:09,688 --> 00:06:11,189
Guys, we've gotten soft!
188
00:06:11,256 --> 00:06:13,558
With our antibiotics
and our sports creams.
189
00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:16,994
Do you think George
Washington had a pet cat?
190
00:06:17,062 --> 00:06:17,995
Yeah. No. He didn't.
191
00:06:18,063 --> 00:06:19,463
He hunted them.
What?
192
00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:21,531
And he made milk and butter
193
00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:23,567
out of their spoils.
That's terrible.
194
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,034
So you're saying George
Washington milked his cat?
195
00:06:25,103 --> 00:06:26,636
Nothing is sounding accurate right now.
Not at all.
196
00:06:26,704 --> 00:06:27,571
Where'd you read this?
I'm not saying
197
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:28,572
it's gonna be easy.
198
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,739
It's gonna be hard.
199
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,974
But we will emerge
200
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:32,976
out of this better friends
201
00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:34,677
and a tribe.
202
00:06:34,745 --> 00:06:35,911
I'm on board.
(chuckles)
203
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,213
Going old-school.
204
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,348
Men! Killing! Hunting!
Men!
205
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:40,549
SCHMIDT, COACH and NICK:
Men! Men! Men! Men!
206
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,284
Oh, my cowman's...
my cowman...
207
00:06:42,352 --> 00:06:44,253
my cowman's hat,
my cowman's hat.
208
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,021
WINSTON:
Guys, look,
209
00:06:46,089 --> 00:06:47,990
I'm as much a man
as anybody here,
210
00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:49,758
but this plan is
straight-up dookie.
211
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,526
I need my sweets and
I need my parade.
212
00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:53,294
Yeah, you know what?
I'm out, too.
213
00:06:53,362 --> 00:06:55,730
Guys, guys, guys. Look.
214
00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:57,465
We're together.
215
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,300
We're a family.
216
00:06:59,368 --> 00:07:00,801
It's Thanksgiving.
217
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,337
And I'm sure Nick
has a plan. Right?
218
00:07:02,404 --> 00:07:03,804
- Oh, yeah. I've got a plan.
- Great.
219
00:07:03,872 --> 00:07:05,706
- You got a plan?
- The man's got a plan.
220
00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:08,642
These wilderness guides
right here detail what plants
221
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:11,178
are safe for eating
and what traps we can build.
222
00:07:11,246 --> 00:07:13,013
Unfortunately,
I ran out of money,
223
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,480
so I couldn't print out
the chapters
224
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:16,016
on gutting and skinning, but...
225
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:17,050
we'll worry about that
when we get there.
226
00:07:17,118 --> 00:07:18,352
Pilgrim rules.
227
00:07:18,419 --> 00:07:20,120
Men, hunters!
228
00:07:20,188 --> 00:07:22,055
Women, foragers.
229
00:07:22,123 --> 00:07:23,563
I'm not hunting.
The only Hunt I want
230
00:07:23,624 --> 00:07:25,158
is Bonnie or Helen.
231
00:07:25,225 --> 00:07:26,091
You know what I'm
talking about, Coach.
232
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,360
What?
233
00:07:27,427 --> 00:07:28,961
Nick.
234
00:07:33,124 --> 00:07:35,646
This is perfect.
Primal man in nature.
235
00:07:35,713 --> 00:07:38,448
Stalking prey. Who's basically
the lady now, Coach?
236
00:07:38,516 --> 00:07:40,817
I've seen that tree six times
in the past 20 minutes.
237
00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:43,119
We're definitely moving
in a small circle.
238
00:07:43,187 --> 00:07:45,822
NICK: Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna clear a path this way.
239
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:47,557
We will travel northbound,
I believe.
240
00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:49,158
That's not north;
that's south.
241
00:07:49,225 --> 00:07:50,826
That is south?
Then let's travel southbound.
242
00:07:50,894 --> 00:07:52,828
I'm gonna clear a path.
If something's in there
243
00:07:52,896 --> 00:07:55,698
and you get injured, I promise
you I will kill you fast.
244
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:56,732
(groans)
245
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,335
Scat! Scat.
246
00:08:04,707 --> 00:08:07,141
There's an animal nearby. Hey,
Schmidt, that's a raisin, man.
247
00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:09,043
That's not a raisin.
This is scat.
248
00:08:09,111 --> 00:08:09,977
Okay.
249
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:13,114
(coughs)
250
00:08:13,182 --> 00:08:14,382
(clears throat)
251
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,817
That's poop for sure.
252
00:08:15,884 --> 00:08:17,352
I was right.
In your face, Nick.
253
00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:18,653
- In your face, Nick.
- How so?
254
00:08:18,721 --> 00:08:20,488
I don't know, he put a...
put a turd in his mouth.
255
00:08:20,556 --> 00:08:22,023
- And that's in my face?
- Yeah.
256
00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:23,724
I don't think we should
start eating
257
00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:25,259
poo yet, Schmidt.
Let's wait on that.
258
00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:26,294
You want to chase
that with some dirt?
259
00:08:26,361 --> 00:08:27,361
Does anyone have any gum?
260
00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:28,930
No.
261
00:08:28,997 --> 00:08:30,898
Not that I wanted any
in the first place.
262
00:08:34,069 --> 00:08:35,536
That's a mighty
big hole there, Nick.
263
00:08:35,603 --> 00:08:36,737
You trying to catch
a refrigerator?
264
00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:38,138
It's a bear hole.
265
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,873
Bear falls in,
other stuff falls in.
266
00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:41,341
We take what the bear
doesn't want.
267
00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:43,376
Makes sense.
Classic human/bear team-up.
268
00:08:43,444 --> 00:08:44,911
I'm from Chicago.
It's the best I can do.
269
00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:46,313
Yeah, bears love to share.
270
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,413
What are you planning
on doing with
271
00:08:47,481 --> 00:08:48,614
that bear when he falls
into the hole?
272
00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:50,016
Dude, I'm trying
the best that I can!
273
00:08:50,084 --> 00:08:51,417
We have no food.
274
00:08:51,485 --> 00:08:52,819
Let me explain something
to you, Nick.
275
00:08:52,886 --> 00:08:54,253
When you're building a trap,
276
00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:55,654
you want to customize it
to your prey.
277
00:08:55,755 --> 00:08:57,256
So, I don't know, if was trying
278
00:08:57,324 --> 00:08:58,958
to catch, say a squirrel,
279
00:08:58,992 --> 00:09:01,227
I'd want think like a squirrel.
280
00:09:01,294 --> 00:09:02,862
Allow me to demonstrate
with this trap that I built.
281
00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:04,496
How do you get into the mindset
of a squirrel?
282
00:09:04,564 --> 00:09:06,431
(clicking tongue)
283
00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,500
I'm a squirrel... right?
284
00:09:08,568 --> 00:09:09,734
You do that really well.
Look at this!
285
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:10,902
Oh, there's some nuts here.
286
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:11,936
Look at all these little nuts.
287
00:09:12,004 --> 00:09:13,804
You might not want to do that.
288
00:09:13,873 --> 00:09:15,773
If I needed your advice on how
to lead a spinning class,
289
00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:17,208
I'd ask you,
but this is my territory.
290
00:09:17,276 --> 00:09:18,676
(Schmidt yells)
291
00:09:18,744 --> 00:09:20,378
- My scapula!
- Dude, are you all right?
292
00:09:20,445 --> 00:09:22,813
Aah! Aah, get it off! Aah!
293
00:09:22,882 --> 00:09:23,948
(Schmidt groaning)
294
00:09:24,016 --> 00:09:26,016
Get it!
295
00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:27,784
Get up.
Keep breathing, man.
296
00:09:27,852 --> 00:09:29,286
I don't mean to be laughing,
297
00:09:29,354 --> 00:09:30,988
but are you okay?
I'm gonna make you a sling.
298
00:09:31,055 --> 00:09:32,455
You're gonna make me a what? You
don't know how to do that. A sling.
299
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:34,791
- Of course I do.
- What...?
300
00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:37,227
- What are you doing?
- I was an Eagle Scout.
301
00:09:37,295 --> 00:09:39,562
What are you talking about,
you were an Eagle Scout?
302
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:41,163
- Look.
- That's actually really good.
303
00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:42,531
I'm sorry, dude.
304
00:09:42,599 --> 00:09:43,799
You wanted to be
the best at camping.
305
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:45,501
You were so excited
about your hat.
306
00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,436
I didn't want to get
in the way of that.
307
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,604
Plus with the whole Cece thing
or whatever.
308
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,539
What are talking about?
309
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,377
You're gonna let me
be the best camper.
310
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,645
I am the best camper!
Yeah.
311
00:09:56,713 --> 00:09:58,846
I think this is chicory.
312
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:00,315
It says you can eat the root.
313
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:01,983
Or it's jasmine.
314
00:10:02,051 --> 00:10:04,052
Which will kill you.
315
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,288
Hmm.
What do you guys think?
316
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,755
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Yeah, just eat it.
317
00:10:07,823 --> 00:10:08,856
Hey, raspberries!
318
00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:11,626
There... Ow!
(laughs): Ow.
319
00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:13,460
There are a lot
of brambles in here.
320
00:10:13,528 --> 00:10:15,229
There's a country store
not far from here.
321
00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:17,017
Ow! Three and a half stars.
The reviews say,
322
00:10:17,065 --> 00:10:18,598
"It's functional and dusty."
323
00:10:18,666 --> 00:10:20,167
- Ow!
- Sounds good to me.
324
00:10:20,235 --> 00:10:22,002
This is so fun.
Who wants to help?
325
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:23,003
This plan is
326
00:10:23,071 --> 00:10:24,004
officially the worst.
327
00:10:24,072 --> 00:10:25,605
We are starving.
328
00:10:25,673 --> 00:10:28,809
Just admit, you don't want
to do this, either.
329
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:30,509
Okay, listen up.
Only stuff we can find
330
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,412
in the forest, right?
331
00:10:34,315 --> 00:10:35,881
Look at that fish.
332
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,450
It's perfect.
333
00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:38,784
What?
Oh, I'm gonna grab it.
334
00:10:38,852 --> 00:10:41,054
I'm so hungry.
Now we get to eat, boys.
335
00:10:41,121 --> 00:10:42,855
Dude, that looks dead.
336
00:10:42,923 --> 00:10:44,123
Guys, stop being
negative right now.
337
00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:45,790
Laying on its side
means it's dead.
338
00:10:45,858 --> 00:10:47,692
I wouldn't get
in that water, man.
339
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,494
You're gonna get beaver fever.
340
00:10:49,562 --> 00:10:51,763
Where are my
testicles now, Coach?
341
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:53,498
When he catches that little
critter, I'm gonna show you
342
00:10:53,566 --> 00:10:54,499
how to scale it.
343
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:55,467
Ow.
344
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:56,468
That hurts?
345
00:10:56,535 --> 00:10:57,469
Yeah, it hurts!
346
00:10:57,536 --> 00:10:59,271
A boulder fell on my...
347
00:10:59,339 --> 00:11:00,605
Is all this 'cause I teased you
348
00:11:00,673 --> 00:11:01,572
about the invite?
349
00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:02,906
Yes, it is! No regrets!
350
00:11:02,975 --> 00:11:04,608
(grunts)
351
00:11:04,676 --> 00:11:06,177
Aw!
Aw, come on, Nick.
352
00:11:06,244 --> 00:11:07,611
(yells)
353
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,513
NICK: Yes! Quit it.
354
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,748
You guys might be right!
It might be dead!
355
00:11:11,816 --> 00:11:14,352
In fact, it was dead!
356
00:11:14,419 --> 00:11:16,320
Smells fresh...
357
00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:17,787
enough!
358
00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:19,522
Oh, come on, Winston, what?
359
00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:21,557
You just get your nails done?
Get the apple dirty!
360
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:23,626
Grind some dirt in it,
grind some dirt in it.
361
00:11:23,694 --> 00:11:25,996
God, I'm so hungry!
Hey, hey!
362
00:11:26,063 --> 00:11:27,763
Hey.
Look what the men brought.
363
00:11:27,831 --> 00:11:29,866
Oh, hey! Hey, hey!
The plan worked.
364
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:30,900
Hey, he looks like a fighter.
365
00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:33,502
He really was, kind of.
366
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:34,503
- Oh, my God!
- Wow.
367
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,405
I mean, well...
Whoa.
368
00:11:36,473 --> 00:11:38,307
Like a smorgasbord.
You guys did great.
369
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,741
- Yeah, we did.
- Yep.
370
00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:41,110
Where'd you get the cashews?
371
00:11:41,177 --> 00:11:43,379
- Um, on a bush.
- Yeah.
372
00:11:43,446 --> 00:11:44,613
How about the beets?
373
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,781
- Also a bush.
- That's right.
374
00:11:46,849 --> 00:11:47,816
Yeah.
375
00:11:47,884 --> 00:11:48,683
The avocado?
376
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:53,054
- Also on a bush.
- That's right.
377
00:11:53,122 --> 00:11:54,855
Well, look at us.
Living off the land,
378
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,290
fending for ourselves.
379
00:11:56,358 --> 00:11:58,493
We got fish and fruits,
380
00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,727
and this is probably gonna be
381
00:11:59,794 --> 00:12:00,761
the most delicious apple
382
00:12:00,829 --> 00:12:02,663
I've ever eaten in my life.
383
00:12:07,535 --> 00:12:08,668
"Product of Oregon"?
384
00:12:08,736 --> 00:12:10,970
We walked to Oregon?
385
00:12:11,039 --> 00:12:12,739
- What?
- What?
386
00:12:12,806 --> 00:12:14,874
That's why this cramp...
Yeah... This place...
387
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,543
Come on, you think the three
of us are true dumb-asses?
388
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,444
We're not. I kind of
knew from the beginning.
389
00:12:17,512 --> 00:12:18,945
I mean, there's no way.
390
00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:20,713
You just went to a store
and got all this?
391
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,381
I think so.
392
00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:24,690
I think they definitely bought
everything from the store.
393
00:12:24,717 --> 00:12:27,886
The one thing I wanted was for
us all to sit down together
394
00:12:27,954 --> 00:12:30,822
and have dinner, and you
can't do that without dinner.
395
00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:32,525
We have dinner.
396
00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:34,153
That fish kind of looks
like hippo meat.
397
00:12:34,161 --> 00:12:35,094
Come on, man.
398
00:12:35,162 --> 00:12:36,162
Let's just sit down
399
00:12:36,229 --> 00:12:37,295
and eat some delicious almonds.
400
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:38,729
- And enjoy ourselves.
- Yes.
401
00:12:38,797 --> 00:12:40,665
And have a really nice
Thanksgiving together.
402
00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:42,600
- Come on, Nick, let's eat.
- Come on, man, let's eat.
403
00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:45,028
I feel like how they must've
felt on the first Thanksgiving.
404
00:12:45,938 --> 00:12:47,238
Betrayed.
405
00:12:47,306 --> 00:12:48,540
What?
406
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:50,408
Happy Thanksgiving.
407
00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:52,277
- Oh, come on. Nick, come on!
- Don't do this.
408
00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:54,211
FYI, the first Thanksgiving
was the good one.
409
00:12:54,279 --> 00:12:55,579
WINSTON:
Come on, Nick!
410
00:12:55,646 --> 00:12:57,677
These avocados were expensive!
411
00:13:00,436 --> 00:13:01,836
Here we go.
412
00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:03,071
It smells so good.
413
00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:04,299
I can't wait till it's ready.
414
00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:05,574
I'm gonna be so stuffed.
415
00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:06,808
Ooh!
416
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:08,042
The eyeball fell off.
417
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,412
That's how you know it's good.
418
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,314
They got to pop out
when it's ready, I think.
419
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:14,949
Now that the cards
are finally on the table,
420
00:13:15,017 --> 00:13:17,185
I guess we can see who
the true camp master really is.
421
00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:19,287
The answer's me.
First one to make a flame wins.
422
00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,656
Let's do this.
423
00:13:21,723 --> 00:13:24,292
Now, check this out.
424
00:13:24,359 --> 00:13:25,794
This is how you make a flame.
425
00:13:25,861 --> 00:13:27,828
You go with two rocks.
One against the other.
426
00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:30,097
You create friction.
427
00:13:30,165 --> 00:13:31,698
- I'm done.
- What?
428
00:13:31,766 --> 00:13:32,732
I'm done.
Well, that's
429
00:13:32,801 --> 00:13:34,367
barely a flame, it's going out.
430
00:13:34,435 --> 00:13:36,636
Whoa! Well, goodness gracious!
What are you? A sorcerer?
431
00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:39,006
Damn it!
432
00:13:43,543 --> 00:13:45,812
Hey, mountain man.
433
00:13:45,879 --> 00:13:48,047
You want to come eat some
dirty vegetables with us?
434
00:13:48,115 --> 00:13:49,581
I should've known those beets
weren't from nature.
435
00:13:49,649 --> 00:13:51,951
Nothing purple grows in nature.
436
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:54,053
Look, we didn't
come through, okay?
437
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:55,955
You came through!
438
00:13:57,424 --> 00:13:59,291
Look, you caught a fish!
439
00:13:59,358 --> 00:14:00,558
That's really,
really impressive.
440
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:01,559
How'd you do it?
441
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:03,929
With my bare hands.
442
00:14:03,996 --> 00:14:05,697
- No way! You're so strong.
- Yeah.
443
00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:07,598
Yeah, it was... It fought...
444
00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:10,335
What are you doing?
445
00:14:10,402 --> 00:14:12,170
I'm not doing anything.
I think that's amazing.
446
00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:14,772
You provided for us.
447
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,907
- You're a man.
- Don't patronize me, Jess.
448
00:14:16,975 --> 00:14:20,211
I'm not. Ever since we
started dating, Jess,
449
00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:22,279
we've been doing
a bunch of girly stuff,
450
00:14:22,347 --> 00:14:24,748
and I like some of it
and you, but...
451
00:14:24,816 --> 00:14:26,516
my tolerance
to alcohol has, like,
452
00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:28,953
gotten really, scary low.
453
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:31,154
I drank three beers, and I got,
454
00:14:31,222 --> 00:14:32,822
like, all giggly and tired.
455
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:34,423
And I didn't want a fourth.
456
00:14:34,491 --> 00:14:35,658
Last night, I had a dream
457
00:14:35,726 --> 00:14:37,626
that I was brushing a horse.
458
00:14:37,694 --> 00:14:40,796
I just feel like
I'm losing myself a little.
459
00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:42,298
Just...
460
00:14:42,366 --> 00:14:44,100
let me eat
this disgusting fish and...
461
00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:46,469
- No, Nick, Nick.
- Yeah, just let me be over here.
462
00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,703
This is the most beautiful fish
I've ever seen.
463
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:50,538
Don't touch... I wouldn't touch it.
It is! It is.
464
00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:52,875
Jess, don't...
Don't put your hands in...
465
00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:53,942
Oh, my Lo...
466
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,312
Spit it out.
467
00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:01,183
Mmm...!
468
00:15:01,251 --> 00:15:03,217
Mmm...!
469
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,052
Mmm...!
470
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,453
Fragrant.
471
00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:10,791
Mmm, I can really...
I can really taste the lake.
472
00:15:10,859 --> 00:15:12,526
Spit it out.
I feel like I'm there
473
00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:13,861
in the lake with the fish.
474
00:15:13,929 --> 00:15:15,196
Mmm!
475
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:17,231
Bony.
476
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:19,465
That's gonna hurt going down.
477
00:15:19,533 --> 00:15:22,235
But I like it.
478
00:15:22,303 --> 00:15:26,139
Hurts so good! Hurts so good!
479
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:27,573
Jess, that fish was dead
when I caught it.
480
00:15:27,641 --> 00:15:29,309
There was a sock near it.
481
00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,211
(suppressed gagging)
482
00:15:34,081 --> 00:15:36,515
I'm gonna come with you.
No.
483
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:37,783
Jess, let me come with you.
484
00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:39,051
Where are you going?
There's something over here.
485
00:15:39,119 --> 00:15:40,386
I'm gonna look at it.
Jess...
486
00:15:40,453 --> 00:15:44,223
I'm seeing
some interesting things.
487
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,725
I'm out of the office
till Friday.
488
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:49,094
For immediate assistance,
489
00:15:49,162 --> 00:15:51,729
please call Deb at extension
A.C. Slater.
490
00:15:51,797 --> 00:15:53,731
(grunts)
491
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,166
You guys see where she went?
492
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:56,200
- No.
- No. Jess?
493
00:15:56,268 --> 00:15:56,768
- Jess?
- Jess?
494
00:15:56,835 --> 00:15:57,868
Jess!
495
00:15:57,937 --> 00:15:59,037
- Jess?
- Jess?
496
00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:00,571
NICK:
Jess?
497
00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:02,206
Jess!
498
00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:04,542
I just want to see
more carpet samples
499
00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:06,411
before I make a final decision.
500
00:16:06,478 --> 00:16:08,645
(gags) Jess!
501
00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:10,580
CECE:
Jess?
502
00:16:10,648 --> 00:16:13,716
NICK:
Jess! Jess, where are you?
503
00:16:13,784 --> 00:16:15,419
Jess!
Jessica!
504
00:16:15,486 --> 00:16:18,255
NICK:
Oh, God, this is all my fault.
505
00:16:18,323 --> 00:16:19,856
And you know what, Coach?
506
00:16:19,924 --> 00:16:21,291
I did like the invitation.
507
00:16:21,359 --> 00:16:23,492
I made it. And I liked
the little trumpet guy.
508
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,793
I thought he was cute.
509
00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,728
- He was cute as a damn button!
- What?
510
00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:28,297
So many st...
511
00:16:28,365 --> 00:16:29,631
Hey, guys, look.
There she is!
512
00:16:29,699 --> 00:16:31,767
There are dogs
that have dollar signs
513
00:16:31,835 --> 00:16:34,470
but don't even own banks.
514
00:16:34,537 --> 00:16:35,618
- Jess, we're over here!
- Jess!
515
00:16:35,672 --> 00:16:36,939
Wait, wait, wait.
516
00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:38,841
I've seen that tree before.
Jess, stop!
517
00:16:38,908 --> 00:16:40,541
The bear trap!
(gasps)
518
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:43,178
- No!
- I'm coming!
519
00:16:43,245 --> 00:16:44,412
Jess!
520
00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:49,733
Headfirst? Why?
(Nick groans)
521
00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:54,126
(groans) Son of a...
(gasps)
522
00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:55,895
Oh, my God, Jess,
I am so sorry.
523
00:16:55,963 --> 00:16:57,329
I was an idiot.
524
00:16:57,397 --> 00:16:59,966
This Thanksgiving plan
was so stupid.
525
00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:02,067
You shouldn't have eaten
that fish. I'm sorry.
526
00:17:02,135 --> 00:17:03,602
Don't let them
pay the bill, okay?
527
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:04,669
You bring the check to me.
528
00:17:04,670 --> 00:17:07,539
No arguments, moon man.
529
00:17:07,607 --> 00:17:08,974
CECE:
Oh, my God!
530
00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:10,609
Is anyone hurt?
531
00:17:10,676 --> 00:17:13,078
We're fine.
I may have cracked a few ribs,
532
00:17:13,146 --> 00:17:15,914
and, uh, Jess is delirious.
533
00:17:15,982 --> 00:17:17,515
I think she thinks
she's a rabbit.
534
00:17:17,582 --> 00:17:19,542
Guys, we're gonna figure
something out, all right?
535
00:17:19,584 --> 00:17:21,585
NICK: Just get us a rope
or a stick or something.
536
00:17:21,653 --> 00:17:23,221
All right, man, so, any ideas?
What are you talk...?
537
00:17:23,288 --> 00:17:24,728
You know what, Coach?
Don't humor me.
538
00:17:24,756 --> 00:17:26,357
- What?
- You know what to do.
539
00:17:26,425 --> 00:17:28,692
Look, I admit it. You're
a better camper than I am.
540
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,094
You're better at life
than I am.
541
00:17:30,162 --> 00:17:31,762
You're probably better
at dating Cece than I am.
542
00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,963
I saw you guys the other night
543
00:17:34,032 --> 00:17:36,299
inhaling each other
in front of the loft.
544
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:38,935
Schmidt, that's all we did.
That was it.
545
00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:41,804
I asked her to come upstairs,
she said no, okay?
546
00:17:41,872 --> 00:17:44,141
And now she won't return
any of my text messages.
547
00:17:44,208 --> 00:17:45,509
She's been ignoring me
this whole trip.
548
00:17:45,576 --> 00:17:48,011
I'm all, like, "Hey."
She's like, "Mm-hmm."
549
00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:50,479
I'm like, "What?"
550
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,848
Why are you smiling, dude?
I'm not smiling.
551
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:54,350
I'm over here baring
my soul to you, dude,
552
00:17:54,418 --> 00:17:55,451
and you're freaking
smiling in my face. Yeah.
553
00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:56,919
This is the face I make
when I listen.
554
00:17:56,986 --> 00:17:58,587
All your teeth show when you listen?
I'm not.
555
00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:00,423
You're smiling right now.
I opened up to you.
556
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,790
You're pissing me off. Stop smiling.
I'm not.
557
00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:03,592
I will wreck you.
You're crazy, man.
558
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:04,826
You're nuts.
Stop it, listen to me.
559
00:18:04,894 --> 00:18:06,627
We are going to solve
this right now.
560
00:18:06,695 --> 00:18:07,962
All right, take your pants off.
561
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:09,097
Okay, I am no Eagle Scout,
562
00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:11,199
but I know how
to make a pants rope.
563
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:12,900
- Pants rope.
- You're a genius.
564
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,936
I know. Okay. Are you gonna
take off your pants?
565
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,138
Yeah, right after I take off my bra so
we can anchor the rope to the tree.
566
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:19,074
- That's gonna happen for real?
- Just take them off now.
567
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,542
(laughing):
Whoa, look at Winston's pants.
568
00:18:21,609 --> 00:18:22,842
It's got kittens on it.
569
00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:24,378
These aren't kittens.
570
00:18:24,446 --> 00:18:25,845
I cannot believe I'm
here voluntarily.
571
00:18:25,913 --> 00:18:26,713
So stupid.
Take them off.
572
00:18:26,781 --> 00:18:28,315
They're coming off.
573
00:18:28,383 --> 00:18:31,718
CECE: Here, you guys,
grab hold of the rope.
574
00:18:31,786 --> 00:18:33,820
Okay, you go first, Jess.
575
00:18:33,888 --> 00:18:35,855
I'll be right behind you
to support you.
576
00:18:35,923 --> 00:18:38,624
- Ding, dong, ding, dong!
- What are you doing?
577
00:18:38,692 --> 00:18:40,493
Okay, how about this? Get on
my back, I'll bring us both up.
578
00:18:40,561 --> 00:18:41,561
Back at you.
579
00:18:41,628 --> 00:18:43,162
Whoa.
(coughs)
580
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,230
You can do it!
581
00:18:44,298 --> 00:18:46,499
There, hold
this flashlight, buddy.
582
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,434
Grab hold.
(blows raspberry)
583
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,535
- Come on, Nick! Come on.
- Here we go!
584
00:18:49,603 --> 00:18:51,537
Oh, God, I'm gonna
get you out of here.
585
00:18:51,605 --> 00:18:52,972
(straining)
586
00:18:53,039 --> 00:18:55,307
Use your legs, Nick.
587
00:18:55,374 --> 00:18:56,741
(grunting)
588
00:18:56,809 --> 00:18:58,110
Come on, Nick!
589
00:18:58,177 --> 00:18:59,611
Come on.
590
00:18:59,678 --> 00:19:01,879
- Ah, Winston, I hate your leggings.
- Come on.
591
00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:03,381
Almost there.
592
00:19:03,449 --> 00:19:04,549
- Let's go.
- You got it,
593
00:19:04,617 --> 00:19:05,750
you got it.
594
00:19:05,818 --> 00:19:06,784
You got it, you...
595
00:19:06,852 --> 00:19:09,920
(straining)
596
00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,489
(all exclaim)
597
00:19:13,024 --> 00:19:14,024
(sighs)
598
00:19:14,092 --> 00:19:15,526
You chubby son of a bitch.
599
00:19:15,594 --> 00:19:17,394
Yeah.
(groans)
600
00:19:17,462 --> 00:19:18,662
You okay, Jess, you all right?
601
00:19:18,663 --> 00:19:20,297
Yeah!
602
00:19:20,365 --> 00:19:22,199
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
603
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:23,567
ALL:
Oh!
604
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:29,872
Hey.
605
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,675
Thanks for saving me,
mountain man.
606
00:19:32,743 --> 00:19:35,145
So I've got good news
from the doctor:
607
00:19:35,212 --> 00:19:37,180
you don't have rabies.
608
00:19:37,248 --> 00:19:38,414
Oh.
609
00:19:38,482 --> 00:19:40,049
You have, uh, giardia
610
00:19:40,117 --> 00:19:42,751
and something called
Legionnaires' disease.
611
00:19:42,818 --> 00:19:45,787
I'm just glad they were
able to save your foot.
612
00:19:45,855 --> 00:19:47,822
What?
613
00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:49,424
No, nothing.
614
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:51,026
Never mind.
615
00:19:51,093 --> 00:19:51,926
(chuckles)
616
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:57,698
Hey, I'm sorry about
the whole camping thing.
617
00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,300
Oh, no, it's okay.
618
00:19:59,368 --> 00:20:00,701
Ah, I was really stupid.
619
00:20:00,769 --> 00:20:02,270
I haven't been myself.
620
00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,472
You're the man I want.
621
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,342
All you wanted was for everyone
622
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:12,078
to be together
on Thanksgiving, Jess.
623
00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:14,914
Next year.
624
00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:20,119
Potato chips.
Chips?
625
00:20:20,187 --> 00:20:21,453
Maybe a treat.
626
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:29,695
Listen, Coach, uh,
in the spirit of Thanksgiving,
627
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,363
I thought maybe
that I could give you
628
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,965
some advice about...
about Cece.
629
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,734
How desperate do
you think I am?
630
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:36,867
I think you're probably
very desperate.
631
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:37,902
I'm very desperate, I mean,
632
00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:39,437
she's giving me nothing.
633
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,439
Told her she looked
pretty, she said thanks.
634
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:42,873
Mm-hmm. What kind of
mind game is that?
635
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:45,109
Look, Coach, things have
always come easy to you.
636
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,513
Cece is not going to be
one of those things.
637
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,814
I once spent hours
638
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:53,584
in a car with just
a cracked window for air.
639
00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:54,918
She was going into a club
640
00:20:54,985 --> 00:20:57,287
and she just kind of
left me there.
641
00:20:57,355 --> 00:20:59,523
Why are you smiling about that?
642
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,058
Hey, guys, I figured out
a way to save Thanksgiving.
643
00:21:02,126 --> 00:21:03,893
I got a plan. SCHMIDT:
Enough with the plans.
644
00:21:03,961 --> 00:21:05,362
You suck at plans!
Not another Nick Miller plan.
645
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,630
I love you, man, but you
are terrible at plans.
646
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:08,264
Hey.
647
00:21:08,332 --> 00:21:11,767
It's still 11:48, so
happy Thanksgiving.
648
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,636
What?
649
00:21:13,704 --> 00:21:16,205
Got us some Brazilian nuts,
a couple of string cheeses, and.
650
00:21:16,273 --> 00:21:17,406
Snack.
651
00:21:17,474 --> 00:21:18,641
Thank you.
652
00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:19,775
WINSTON:
I got the parade on my phone.
653
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:20,776
Yes.
654
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,478
Made some decorations.
655
00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:23,746
I think this may be
a turkey sandwich,
656
00:21:23,813 --> 00:21:25,747
but I'm not sure,
657
00:21:25,814 --> 00:21:27,616
and I know
this whole thing isn't...
658
00:21:27,683 --> 00:21:28,617
It's perfect.
659
00:21:28,684 --> 00:21:30,418
Look, guys, start without me
660
00:21:30,486 --> 00:21:33,087
because it might be a few weeks
before I can eat again.
661
00:21:33,155 --> 00:21:35,056
(all laughing)
You were throwing up a lot.
662
00:21:35,124 --> 00:21:36,190
(laughs)
663
00:21:36,259 --> 00:21:39,927
That was scary...
seriously.
664
00:21:39,995 --> 00:21:41,762
Okay, I'm starving actually. Let's eat.
Yeah, let's eat.
665
00:21:41,829 --> 00:21:43,063
Nick found all this food
in the woods.
666
00:21:43,131 --> 00:21:44,331
(all laughing)
667
00:21:44,399 --> 00:21:45,666
Can I have the ginger ale?
668
00:21:45,734 --> 00:21:47,703
Yeah, Nick found that.
It's already open.
669
00:21:48,510 --> 00:21:52,733
Sync and corrected byScreamingPanda
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