1
00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:01,750
Oh, the female reproductive system.

2
00:00:01,850 --> 00:00:03,880
Kind of looks like
the Chicago Bulls symbol.

3
00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:06,480
- It does.
- Now, this is the only part that matters.

4
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,520
- The money train. Sure.
- Hey, I call it my nine-to-five.

5
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,990
'Cause it's my job to work it.
You know what I'm saying?

6
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:14,720
The large intestine, you degenerates.

7
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,360
What?

8
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:17,490
- Let me see that.
- I told Jess

9
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:19,490
that I don't want to teach health.

10
00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:21,560
I'm not good at it. Such a hassle.

11
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,630
Studying, planning, giving
weak kids good grades. No.

12
00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:28,300
I heard that. There are good
things, too. Like you get

13
00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:31,840
to come with me to a dope two-day
teaching conference in Palmdale.

14
00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:34,640
- I want to stay and hang out with the
guys at Guys' Night. - What's Guys' Night?

15
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,070
Oh, yeah, we're celebrating
you being gone. No offense.

16
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:38,370
- Guys' Night!
- Guys' Night!

17
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,750
Guys' Night!

18
00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:41,250
The conference is gonna
be really fun. We just have

19
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,920
to work from, like, 9:00 to 7:00.

20
00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:46,090
And then after that it's a par-tay.

21
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,720
Until 10:00, when quiet
hours are strictly enforced.

22
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,060
But before then we rage.
For three hours.

23
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:54,000
Actually, two because there's
the half an hour of setup time

24
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:56,560
and the half an hour of cleanup
time because we have to actually

25
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,930
be in bed at 10:00.

26
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,070
Ooh!

27
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,700
Are you kidding me?

28
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:04,070
Ryan is going?

29
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,840
Ryan-Ryan? The guy you
have a crazy crush on?

30
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,840
I had a crush on him. Principal Foster

31
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,350
says that administrators can't
date teachers. It's forbidden.

32
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,280
That makes it so much hotter.

33
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,520
It makes it crazy hotter. But, look,

34
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:18,190
it's not just about Principal Foster.

35
00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,450
This is about how I worked

36
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:21,190
really hard to get to Vice Principal,

37
00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:23,930
and I'm not gonna let some
British guy get in my way.

38
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,560
Some redcoat bastard.

39
00:01:25,590 --> 00:01:26,960
That's why I keep all

40
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,560
of our interactions
strictly professional.

41
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,570
Hey. How was your weekend?

42
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,970
That's personal.

43
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,470
I can't risk learning any
personal details about him.

44
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:39,370
What if he taught his
dyslexic sister how to read?

45
00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:41,940
I can't know that.
I'll go crazy with lust.

46
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,210
- My pants will turn to ash.
- And so exactly

47
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,550
how do you plan to avoid this man

48
00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:48,620
that you are trapped
in the same hotel with?

49
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,220
There are, like, a thousand
porns that start that way.

50
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,550
Yeah, but no porns have teachers.

51
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:53,820
Every porn has a teacher.

52
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,460
Well, I'm not worried, okay?

53
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,730
'Cause I'll probably never even see him.

54
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,960
Jess?

55
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,480
Can you believe we're
right next to each other?

56
00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:08,800
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com

57
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:14,340
- Hey, you guys want sangria?
- It's Guys' Night!

58
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:17,610
- Only beer!
- Yeah, what is this, Spain?

59
00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:19,310
Great sangria burn, man.

60
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:20,820
- Really?
- Never let your guard down!

61
00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,620
- Aah!
- Oh, takedown!

62
00:02:22,650 --> 00:02:24,190
Never let your guard down.

63
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,500
- Well played.
- All right, first up,

64
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,160
we eat meat.

65
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,020
How much meat?!

66
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,420
Then we take a fart nap.

67
00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:30,960
- Not for me. Pass.
- All right, guys,

68
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,960
- it's Guys' Night. Let's think.
- Okay.

69
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,970
Anything else we can't
do when Jess is here.

70
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,300
Wow.

71
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,800
- Look at that stretching.
- I don't want to...

72
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,670
make this sound too creepy,
but I want to own those girls.

73
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:46,040
I wouldn't touch them. They'd want

74
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,040
for nothing. But I would
know they were there.

75
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,980
- Stretching. For me.
- I want

76
00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:51,710
to French braid that girl hair.

77
00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,510
I want to French braid
that hair so good.

78
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:56,180
The third hottest one
just waved at me. Hello!

79
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:56,820
Ah!

80
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:57,550
- Ooh!
- Oh, no.

81
00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:58,590
- Oh!
- No!

82
00:02:58,590 --> 00:03:00,050
- No, no, no!
- Oh...

83
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,460
-Jess is gonna kill you.
- Shoot! She's not gonna kill me.

84
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:02,660
I'm just gonna, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna have

85
00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:03,890
it cleaned, I'll have it cleaned.

86
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:05,990
- Schmidt, red wine sets.
- Shut up, Winston! It sets.

87
00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:06,890
Why don't you just wash it?

88
00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:07,660
Why don't I just what?

89
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:08,900
Wash it.

90
00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,230
Just wash the blanket.

91
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,230
Unless you can't.

92
00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:15,200
Come on, man. Get out of here.

93
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,520
I've known you for a lot of years

94
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:17,840
and I've never seen you do laundry.

95
00:03:17,870 --> 00:03:19,010
Never seen me do
laundry... Get out of town.

96
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,710
Wait, wait. Is that true?

97
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:21,740
Come on, you guys, this is so...

98
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:22,780
Really, this is silly.

99
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:24,010
Then do it.

100
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,250
Right now.

101
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,480
We'll watch.

102
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,920
Doing the laundry...

103
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,790
It's no problemo.

104
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:34,060
Little bit of this.

105
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,500
What in the world...?

106
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:43,700
Straining the soap.

107
00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:48,040
Get that in there.

108
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,840
Back in there.

109
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:52,110
Um, okay.

110
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,610
And...

111
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,280
That's it. Laundry.

112
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,680
Can't... Oh, so silly.

113
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:02,920
Forgot to put the quarters in.

114
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:04,120
That's right, the quarters.

115
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,890
- Schmidt...
- All right! I don't know how to do laundry!

116
00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:14,060
- I knew it!
- Forget it.

117
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,260
- Finally!
- That is insane!

118
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,730
Hope you're happy.

119
00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:18,730
Nerd. Nerd.

120
00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:20,030
Dud.

121
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,270
Lady nerd. Goofus.

122
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,570
- Virgin...
- Hey, Coach, I need you to be my buffer!

123
00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:26,740
Okay, but Nick can never
find out about this.

124
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:28,280
Wait, what? Hmm?

125
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,080
- What?
- What are you talking about?

126
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:31,650
What are you talking about?

127
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,750
I need you to be my
buffer between Ryan and me.

128
00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:34,980
He's so sexy.

129
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:35,750
- Really?
- Yeah.

130
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:36,780
That guy?

131
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,220
Beautiful. Did you make that?

132
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,820
Looks like a Boys Department mannequin.

133
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,260
Yeah.

134
00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:43,790
- Hey, Jess, can I, um...
- Nope.

135
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:44,830
No time for chatting.

136
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:45,960
We have to sit down.

137
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,900
You can't sit there.

138
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:50,130
Coach likes to sit in the middle.

139
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:51,570
Mm-hmm.

140
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,100
I sit bitch or I don't sit at all.

141
00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,140
- You're weird.
- You're weird.

142
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,610
- You're a weirdo.
- You're weird.

143
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,520
- You're weird.
- You're weird.

144
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,410
Shh.

145
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,080
I am education guru Brenda Brown.

146
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,180
Oh, no. Who is this?
She looks like

147
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,180
one of those ladies who talks
you into having a baby in a tub.

148
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,920
You. the talker.

149
00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:12,820
Mmm...

150
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:13,860
Stand up.

151
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:19,330
- Talk to us.
- There were other people talking,

152
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,960
- I just want to let you know that.
- Why are you a teacher?

153
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,200
Uh, 'cause my...

154
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:23,800
my roommate made me.

155
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,100
Hmm.

156
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:27,340
What?

157
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,470
I'm worried about you.

158
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,800
You're a worry.

159
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,670
Wor... why, why are
you worried about me?

160
00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:34,210
Teaching is an awesome

161
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,040
responsibility.

162
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,040
You are not prepared for it. Sit down.

163
00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:40,380
Okay.

164
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,450
Today, we will learn

165
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,850
about our fellow educators,

166
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,390
their hopes, their dreams,

167
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:47,290
their bitter regrets.

168
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,160
The things they wish they'd
said to their birth mother...

169
00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:52,660
So, partner up.

170
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,360
Will you be my partner?

171
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,030
Mmm, sorry, I'm with Coach.

172
00:05:56,070 --> 00:05:57,300
No, I can't do it.

173
00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:58,700
I'm going to the bar. What?

174
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,440
- Buffer out. Buffer out.
- No, buffer in.

175
00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:02,470
Buffer in. Buffer in. Buffer out.

176
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,870
Everything okay here?

177
00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:05,140
Yeah, sorry.

178
00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:06,570
My, um... my partner just left.

179
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:09,710
Or... did your partner just arrive?

180
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:11,510
Oh. Um... No...

181
00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:13,510
- Wicked.
- Everyone!

182
00:06:13,550 --> 00:06:16,650
Look at your partner, really look.

183
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:19,420
Take his or her hand and say,

184
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,690
"I'm excited!"

185
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,960
- I'm excited.
- Oh, crap.

186
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,280
We just came to say we're sorry.

187
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,700
Guess you think I'm pretty dim, huh?

188
00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:33,440
A man who can't do laundry.

189
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:35,950
You weren't born this way, were you?

190
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:38,240
Born not knowing how to do laundry?

191
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,880
Like everyone else?

192
00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:42,480
Yes, Winston, I was.
It wasn't till after birth

193
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,780
- that the trouble really began.
- Here we go.

194
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,750
Nana wouldn't
let me in the laundry room.

195
00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:48,720
I think it's because my hands

196
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,420
were always covered in butter.

197
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:52,760
And so I went to college
unable to do laundry.

198
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:55,260
- I'm making jean shorts!
- I'm doing laundry!

199
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,430
- Big day for both of us!
- Yeah, it is.

200
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,460
As I pulled out my maternity corduroys,

201
00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:01,830
I spied a six-pack
of Pi-Phis.

202
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:04,240
I need... um...

203
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,510
I need them loose to keep...

204
00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:06,910
to keep my sperm count up.

205
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,570
You know how it is!

206
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:11,140
Eventually, the window of
time when it was acceptable

207
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,450
to learn something so basic had closed.

208
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,180
I was an adult.

209
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,220
It was too late.

210
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:18,180
Well, I understand.

211
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,190
You know, I've never told anyone this,

212
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,490
but, um...

213
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,160
I don't know how to read a ruler.

214
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,120
I don't, I mean, how do you start?

215
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,860
At the edge or the first tick?

216
00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:28,630
- It's confusing to me.
- Are you serious?

217
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:30,775
- Do you know how to count?
- It always gets on top of me, and

218
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,000
'Cause then you should
know how to use a ruler, you idiot!

219
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,430
I'm an idiot? You can't
even wash your own underwear,

220
00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:35,470
you dumbass.

221
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,500
Hey! They're both super easy!

222
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,370
We're talking about laundry and a ruler!

223
00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,980
I'm gonna teach you guys right now!

224
00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,280
Let's go.

225
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:45,140
Each of you holds a stack of cards

226
00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:46,650
with questions for your partners.

227
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,050
You must uncover the answers. Begin.

228
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,550
What gets you out of bed in the morning?

229
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:52,830
Let me guess.

230
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:55,150
Your mother, who you live with, says,

231
00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:56,960
"Ryan, your crumpets are getting cold."

232
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,360
The thought that any
ordinary day could be

233
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:01,430
the day I look back
on when I'm much older

234
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:02,660
as being the best day of my life.

235
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,800
You?

236
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:06,870
Same.

237
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:08,300
Don't look away.

238
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,640
- Embrace the intimacy...
- I'm good.

239
00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:12,410
- Embrace the intimacy.
- Okay.

240
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,210
You know, I think there's
an art to a picnic basket.

241
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,810
Apricot jam would never
go with a sesame cracker.

242
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,580
Of course it wouldn't, it would go with

243
00:08:18,610 --> 00:08:21,310
- A flaky baguette.
- A flaky baguette.

244
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,180
Duck, duck. Okay, now
step forward, step forward,

245
00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:25,550
another step forward; okay, go
to your right, go to your right.

246
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:26,590
Do you scrapbook?

247
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,820
On rainy days.

248
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:30,560
Step forward, go to
your left; left, left.

249
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:31,590
Big step, that's it, big step; now come

250
00:08:31,630 --> 00:08:33,090
to me, another big step; come to me.

251
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,560
Do you own yarn?

252
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,600
Spools of it.

253
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:40,370
I craft so much.

254
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:41,930
It's a left, and again
come to me, come to me.

255
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:43,400
- Yes.
- Come to me.

256
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,270
- Oh!
- Oh!

257
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,040
It's okay, I've got you.

258
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,210
We have a new record.

259
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:54,410
He's amazing.

260
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,020
I think he might be an angel

261
00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:57,450
sent down to Earth
like Denzel Washington

262
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,560
in The Preacher's Wife.

263
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:00,350
Oh, honey, okay, what can I do?

264
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:01,390
In your purse,

265
00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:04,120
you will find a white envelope.

266
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,890
Okay, you, you wrote
a letter to yourself,

267
00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:07,260
and stuck it in my purse?

268
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,800
Read it, I need to hear it.

269
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,200
"Dear Jess,

270
00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:11,600
"If you are reading this,

271
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,370
"it's because you're being an idiot

272
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,400
"and developing feelings
for your employee,

273
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,270
you ballet-flat-wearing
piece of Oregon trash."

274
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,410
You are so right.

275
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,870
You are so right.

276
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,380
"To have intercourse with the first man

277
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:25,080
"hired under your reign

278
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,380
would be an insult
to yourself and also..."

279
00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:28,780
This part's in caps.

280
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,880
- ...all women everywhere."
- All women everywhere.

281
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,420
"Did you learn nothing
from the movie Elizabeth,

282
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,490
you stupid little bitch?"

283
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,060
No one respects a queen who
sleeps with her subjects.

284
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:39,830
I will paint my face white.

285
00:09:39,860 --> 00:09:40,960
No man may have me.

286
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:41,990
Thank you, Cece.

287
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,230
You're welcome?

288
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:46,430
Teaching is such a pain in the ass.

289
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:47,930
Isn't it?

290
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,340
I'll tell you what,

291
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,970
I wouldn't give it up for anything.

292
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,940
You get to really
impact those kids' lives.

293
00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:56,240
I'm not gonna impact them,
I'm just teaching health.

294
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,440
"Just health"?

295
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,950
- Hey, Carol.
- Hey, Ned.

296
00:09:58,980 --> 00:10:00,910
- Oh, it's Carol.
- Oh, hey, Carol.

297
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,580
Health is the most important subject.

298
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,100
Screw up, and they "just" get pregnant.

299
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,620
What's your safe sex lesson plan?

300
00:10:06,650 --> 00:10:08,120
I don't know!

301
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,760
Uh, lie to them and
say condoms feel good?

302
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:12,690
Uh, maybe tell them about my buddy

303
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,460
who's got bumps on his thing?

304
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,930
Maybe bring up Magic Johnson.

305
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,630
Maybe bring up Kobe Bryant.

306
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,500
You're my best friend
in the whole world,

307
00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:21,630
but I'm really worried about you.

308
00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,670
You think the line is a suggestion?

309
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,680
- I don't know what it is...
- It isn't!

310
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,010
- Do it again.
- It's too hard!

311
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,110
Do it again!

312
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:36,820
Okay, so you start with the first tick.

313
00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:38,680
Oh...

314
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,290
That's it, really.

315
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,550
Stop!

316
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,190
That was at the line!

317
00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:45,490
That was perfect.

318
00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:46,890
Now do it ten more times.

319
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:49,530
So in the beginning,
you never mind the edge.

320
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,230
- Yeah.
- Man.

321
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:53,230
You got to hold on to it.

322
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:56,240
- What about bleach?
- Let's walk before we can run, huh, pal?

323
00:10:56,270 --> 00:10:59,070
Hey, Winston, he's asking about bleach!

324
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:01,510
Man, that is way too soon.

325
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,810
- Warm-warm, warm-cold...
- You got this, don't get flustered!

326
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,920
Cold-cold, hot-cold,
hot-hot? It's hot-hot!

327
00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:08,350
- It's always warm-cold.
- Well, what's "permanent press"?

328
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:09,980
- Fake button, nobody uses it.
- Yeah, don't press that one.

329
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,320
The machine is
buzzing, you didn't close it!

330
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:13,590
What?! Yeah, I closed it!

331
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:14,750
Who you gonna believe,
me or the machine?!

332
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:15,720
I'm gonna believe the machine!

333
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,960
This is bull!

334
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,260
Damn it, you!

335
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:25,200
We're so close.

336
00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:26,700
Take ten and relax.

337
00:11:26,730 --> 00:11:28,270
Nine-inch bottle.

338
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,770
Rappers be lying.

339
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,070
You told me to relax, so...

340
00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:32,710
Self-pleasure is the only
thing that relaxes me.

341
00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,540
- Ugh. Seriously, Schmidt?
- That is crass.

342
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:38,080
I don't want to hear it,
I don't want to hear it.

343
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:39,350
So stupid.

344
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,380
Hey, you did it!

345
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,420
You did it!

346
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420
Yes!

347
00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:47,090
- Yeah!
- All right!

348
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,690
That's what I'm talking about!

349
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,460
Guys' Night!

350
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,290
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

351
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:55,930
- I saved you a seat.
- Oh! No.

352
00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,200
I've been offered a seat
at the higher-ups' table.

353
00:12:00,230 --> 00:12:03,100
The tastemakers.

354
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:06,040
- You're not invited.
- Oh, I see. You're back to avoiding me.

355
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:08,110
I'm not av... I don't know
what you're talking about.

356
00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:09,880
Yes, you do. You've been
avoiding me for weeks at school.

357
00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:11,110
That's why I was so happy

358
00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:13,050
that we were finally
getting a chance to,

359
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,150
I don't know,
maybe get to know each other.

360
00:12:14,225 --> 00:12:15,000
What, is this summer camp?

361
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,525
- We don't need to get to know each other.
- What's your problem with me?

362
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,050
- Did I do something to offend you?
- Why do... I... I don't have a problem.

363
00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:22,160
- You have a problem with me.
- I don't have a problem with you.

364
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,400
Yes, you do, you have a problem.

365
00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:25,450
- Do you have a problem?
- No, I don't have a problem.

366
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,575
Great, then we bothdon't have a problem.

367
00:12:26,675 --> 00:12:27,925
We have a problem.

368
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:29,850
Hey, Jess!

369
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,070
Buffer on the roof!

370
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,570
I'm freaking out.

371
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,070
Freakin', freakin' out.

372
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,470
Freak, freak, freak.

373
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:41,110
Is that a baby? I feel
like I hear a baby.

374
00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:45,210
All right, gentlemen... bar crawl.

375
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,210
Man, look at this, I
know how to do laundry!

376
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,280
- I feel like a new man.
- Good, good, good.

377
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,150
There is no way for
me to express my joy.

378
00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:53,290
Except by telling you
the width of my smile.

379
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,020
I can't read it, somebody else read it.

380
00:12:58,060 --> 00:13:00,360
No, I want to do it, I
want to do it, hold on.

381
00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:02,700
But I can't see, let me turn it... uh...

382
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,360
You know what? To Nick.

383
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,070
What can't you do?

384
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,870
A lot, you know, I can't say "Frebuary."

385
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,740
No one can!

386
00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:11,570
Frebuar... Febuar-ar...

387
00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:13,370
- Feb.. I...
- Whatever.

388
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,040
- Feb... February.
- Yeah, it's February.

389
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,840
I can't say the alphabet
unless I'm singing the song.

390
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,850
And I never learned how to love.

391
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,480
But enough about me... Guys' Night!

392
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:21,510
Let's go, gentlemen.

393
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,920
Man, that is... that is heavy.

394
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:25,350
Hey, Nick, that's something
we should talk about.

395
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,990
I mean, what are we gonna do,

396
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:28,860
sit around all night
and talk about love?

397
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:35,030
♪ I want to know what love is ♪

398
00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:41,000
♪ I want you to show me ♪

399
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,000
♪ Ooh... ♪

400
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,170
♪ I want to know what love is ♪

401
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:47,370
♪ Oh... ♪

402
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,510
♪ And I want you to sh... ♪

403
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:51,950
- ♪ I know you can show me ♪
- Sad song.

404
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:53,350
Hey, buddy.

405
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:54,380
Hey!

406
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,780
What's happening?

407
00:13:55,820 --> 00:13:57,580
I freaked out about the
whole teaching health thing,

408
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:01,220
and then I went and I-I
got drunk with Ned...

409
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,460
Neddy!

410
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:03,460
And then I bet

411
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,230
everybody in the bar

412
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,060
that I could do a backflip off the roof,

413
00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:09,230
and that's what I came to do.

414
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:10,460
So...

415
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,230
Hey, look, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

416
00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,270
Uh, I... I totally
understand how you're feeling.

417
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,540
Yeah? Does, uh, teaching

418
00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:17,200
scare the crap out of you, Jess?

419
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,570
Well, it is my life's calling,

420
00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:20,140
- so, no.
- Exactly.

421
00:14:20,170 --> 00:14:22,980
- You don't get it.
- I do.

422
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:25,250
What's up, player?
It's the British dude.

423
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,580
This is my first time
teaching, and I'm scared, too.

424
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,650
- It's a terribly important job.
- Yeah, but health

425
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,920
is the most...

426
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:31,990
I'm good.

427
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,550
Health is the most important

428
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,160
subject on Earth.

429
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:36,390
Yes, it is important.

430
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:38,120
'Cause you know kids,

431
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,790
they're always wanting to
have sex with each other.

432
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,430
They don't know that it
just feels good for a second

433
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,730
and then you're sad.

434
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,830
And that's why we need someone great,

435
00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:47,070
someone strong, who the kids trust.

436
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,270
Okay.

437
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,500
Someone who can yell at them

438
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:50,800
about chlamydia.

439
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,110
That does... that sounds like...

440
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,510
like something Coach would do.

441
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:56,980
- You can teach.
- I can teach, guys!

442
00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:58,410
That's mostly what I
was trying to tell you.

443
00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,750
No one needs to worry about me anymore!

444
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,480
No!

445
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,250
- Oh, my God.
- I'll get him.

446
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,090
- No.
- Yes.

447
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:08,790
Don't do anything heroic right now.

448
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:26,640
This guy's amazing.

449
00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:31,440
♪ Hello ♪

450
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,720
♪ Is it me you're looking for? ♪

451
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,180
♪ I can see it in your... ♪

452
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:40,020
I want to be the someone

453
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:42,220
that somebody is looking for.

454
00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:44,460
-♪ In your smile... ♪
- But what do I have to offer?

455
00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,390
Do not talk about yourself like that.

456
00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:47,960
Come on, guys, what do
I bring to the table?

457
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,030
That's easy, man.

458
00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:50,200
You're the cute one.

459
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:51,230
- What?
- That's right.

460
00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:52,500
Look, I'm the smart one,

461
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,000
Winston's the silly one,

462
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,070
Coach is the sports one,
and you're the cute one.

463
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,540
Well, if I were so cute,

464
00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:59,010
then how come I can't
find anyone to love?

465
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,710
'Cause you're aiming too low.

466
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:03,410
Nick, my man, you don't
find diamonds underground.

467
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,910
That's exactly where you
find diamonds, Winston.

468
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:07,250
Let's... can we not...

469
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,520
This is not about gems, okay?

470
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,820
This is about Nick valuing himself

471
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,490
enough to aim for the top.

472
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,160
Now, I-I've been to the top
of the mountain, with Cece,

473
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,690
and it was glorious up there.

474
00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,890
And you know, one of these
days... could be tomorrow...

475
00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,190
I'm gonna be a millionaire.

476
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,600
If I don't have Cece,

477
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:25,030
then what do I have?

478
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,030
You got a million dollars.

479
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,240
If I'm being honest, you guys, uh...

480
00:16:29,270 --> 00:16:31,070
I'm worried about being a cop.

481
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:32,510
- Sure.
- You know, what if I see something

482
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,440
really bad and then it...

483
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,880
it changes me?

484
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:38,010
You know, it makes me lose my faith

485
00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:39,550
and then I become really bad?

486
00:16:41,780 --> 00:16:43,550
You guys really think I'm the cute one?

487
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,220
You know what's not cute?

488
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,920
Pretending that you
don't know that you are.

489
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:48,050
Schmidt, this sangria

490
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,190
is just delicious.

491
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,020
Thanks, man.

492
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,260
I'm jealous of that

493
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,530
little orange in there.

494
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,760
It gets to just drink

495
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,260
all the sangria it wants.

496
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,930
Yeah. I'm probably gonna...

497
00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,270
I'm gonna eat the orange, too.

498
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,770
- Guys' Night.
- Guys' Night!

499
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,870
It's like instant world music.

500
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:13,280
- Wait, shh.
- Why "shh"?

501
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,880
I think he's finally...

502
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:18,250
- asleep.
- Asleep.

503
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:21,920
Cheers.

504
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,590
Chin-chin.

505
00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:25,330
Um...

506
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,600
Hey...

507
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,060
I'm sorry.

508
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,300
I was a little bit of
a jerk to you earlier.

509
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:32,570
No, it's fine.

510
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,300
I'm used to jerks.

511
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,740
I used to work in finance.

512
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:37,500
Oh! Finance!

513
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,670
- Mm-hmm.
- Really?

514
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:39,770
Why did you leave?

515
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:44,240
I know this sounds silly, but I realized

516
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,610
that the only time I'd
been really happy in my life

517
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,250
was teaching my little
sister how to read.

518
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,450
She suffers from crippling dyslexia.

519
00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:53,090
- Oh, God!
- What?

520
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,260
You're just... so perfect.

521
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,490
Well, it's more common
than you might think.

522
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,430
No, you're like the most perfect person

523
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,130
I've ever met. And it's like

524
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,360
you're an angel who's been

525
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,100
sent down to the Earth, like...

526
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:04,660
have you ever seen the
movie The Preacher's Wife?

527
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:08,170
Anyway, I just have this
big, stupid crush on you.

528
00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:15,210
I...

529
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,480
didn't say that.

530
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:18,700
- No, it's fine. It's-it's...
- Shouldn't have said... No.

531
00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:20,180
I shouldn't have said that.
I'm sorry, um...

532
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,275
I need a bucket.

533
00:18:21,325 --> 00:18:22,175
Now!

534
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,950
- Um, you should go.
- I need a bucket!

535
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,420
Just go.

536
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,450
No, let me help, please. Let me help.

537
00:18:26,490 --> 00:18:27,820
No, just go, just go, just go.

538
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,890
Ugh, gettin' the mouth sweats.

539
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,660
- Oh, I need a bucket!
- Just go.

540
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,490
- Just go. Just go.
- Okay.

541
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:36,360
Why is there ice in here?

542
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,370
More room...

543
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,630
for what's about to happen...

544
00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:43,200
- Oh, God...
- Oh, my God!

545
00:18:44,230 --> 00:18:46,460
When I get home I'm hitting the books.

546
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,700
I am going to crush health.

547
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,800
- Yeah, you are.
- Yeah.

548
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,100
Ned!

549
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,500
Let me get his contact before we leave.

550
00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:54,940
- What?
- Ned! I need details, bro!

551
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,540
Hey, man. Am I gonna get your e-mail?

552
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,310
- What's gonna happen here?
- Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.

553
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:00,940
- Let's do it, let's do it.
- Yeah.

554
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,480
It's therealned8@guhmail.com.

555
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,150
At guhmail... you mean Gmail?

556
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:07,660
Oh, is that how you say it?

557
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,690
Um...

558
00:19:10,590 --> 00:19:11,650
Good morning.

559
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:12,960
Good morning.

560
00:19:12,990 --> 00:19:15,620
Can I, um... talk to
you about last night?

561
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:17,530
No, I want to talk to
you about last night,

562
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,730
because I said some things, um,

563
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:23,070
that don't reflect how
I really feel about you.

564
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:24,340
Um...

565
00:19:24,370 --> 00:19:26,030
so I'd really appreciate it

566
00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:28,170
if you could strike
them from the record.

567
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,540
It was the conference talking, not me.

568
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,710
Consider them struck.

569
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,340
Thank you.

570
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,550
Enjoy your Thanksgiving vacation.

571
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,180
It's, uh, an American holiday

572
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,320
where we celebrate the fact that we...

573
00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:44,250
didn't know how to farm by ourselves.

574
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:46,520
Are you curious to know

575
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,660
how I really feel about you?

576
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:50,090
- No.
- Because if you were

577
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,330
interested, I'd tell you that

578
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:53,930
I won't enjoy my Thanksgiving

579
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,730
because I won't get
to see you every day.

580
00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:58,500
I think you're beautiful

581
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,940
and totally insane,

582
00:19:59,970 --> 00:20:01,370
and when I'm at work,

583
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,540
I can't focus,

584
00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:03,670
because I can't get you

585
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:04,710
out of my head.

586
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:13,850
Hey.

587
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,050
Hey, uh, you guys want to stop

588
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,720
on the way home and get some pancakes?

589
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,560
Hey, what do you call them in England?

590
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:20,620
Roundy-yums.

591
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:21,390
Really?

592
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,620
No.

593
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,460
See you after the holidays.

594
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,030
Oh, boy.

595
00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:30,800
You didn't see anything!

596
00:20:34,470 --> 00:20:36,970
Where'd your lipstick go?

597
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,470
- Hit 'em! Hit 'em!
- From the back.

598
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:39,740
- Hit 'em!
- Ugh!

599
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,940
It smells terrible in here!

600
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:44,150
How many beers did you guys drink?

601
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:46,080
- So much.
- Beer, beer! Lots of beer.

602
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:47,380
Just a lot of beer.

603
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,420
- That's how beer smells.
- So many beers.

604
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,550
Smells like sangria.

605
00:20:50,590 --> 00:20:51,890
That must be the perfume

606
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,560
from all the ladies we
hooked up with. Yeah.

607
00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:54,790
- Mm-hmm.
-They were all Spaniards.

608
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:55,990
Mine was named

609
00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,390
Señorita Lucinda Madrid.

610
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,660
Say, how was the conference?

611
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:02,050
It was just... stupid... conferences...

612
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:03,150
Ugh.

613
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:06,550
So, she finally hooked up with Ryan.

614
00:21:06,725 --> 00:21:08,875
He put his teeth behind her teeth.

615
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:09,950
Wow!

616
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,325
Aah!

617
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,825
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

618
00:21:30,925 --> 00:21:33,100
What the hell did you guys
do to my blanket?

619
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,825
Synced and corrected by backinblack
www.addic7ed.com