1
00:00:01,625 --> 00:00:03,150
Hey, guys! Hurry up!
2
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:04,865
I'm the maid of honor and
I have to be there early
3
00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:06,661
and I wanna get a
picture in before we go.
4
00:00:06,678 --> 00:00:10,222
Miami Vice called and I'm not sure...
I don't know how to finish that joke.
5
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,153
- What?
- Ah, it's crap joke, it's crap joke.
6
00:00:12,189 --> 00:00:14,395
Winston, please. Your
belly is on my hip.
7
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,764
- Dad, can you come and take our picture?
- BOB: All right.
8
00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:20,442
Having a little trouble getting
off this air mattress.
9
00:00:20,477 --> 00:00:22,333
Oh, here we go.
10
00:00:22,386 --> 00:00:24,392
And we... okay.
I'm off, I'm off.
11
00:00:24,412 --> 00:00:26,406
Here... where is it? All
right, give me this.
12
00:00:26,436 --> 00:00:27,676
Let's do this.
13
00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:29,243
Okay, you ready?
14
00:00:29,249 --> 00:00:31,418
Scrunch together. There we go.
15
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:33,012
No...
16
00:00:33,086 --> 00:00:35,605
- uh, Rick, move one step to your right.
- Me?
17
00:00:35,611 --> 00:00:37,743
Yes, one step to your right.
18
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,412
One more step to your right.
19
00:00:39,424 --> 00:00:41,900
- I can't go much further.
- One more step to your right.
20
00:00:41,919 --> 00:00:43,917
Until you get into the hallway,
21
00:00:43,929 --> 00:00:46,850
- and then, once you get in the hallway...
- No, I see what you're doing, dude. - Dad,
22
00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:49,876
- Very funny, buddy. - Dad, Dad, we have to go...
- ...go directly to the Chinatown trash can
23
00:00:49,894 --> 00:00:52,434
- where you got that suit. - There's nothing wrong
with this suit. - Dad, we need to take the picture.
24
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:53,892
I wore this at my
high school graduation.
25
00:00:53,911 --> 00:00:57,254
- Nick, you're not doing yourself any favors.
- I look very handsome. I look like I'm on Miami Vice.
26
00:00:57,272 --> 00:00:58,885
- Should I take the picture?
- No, I'm not doing this.
27
00:00:58,903 --> 00:01:01,549
- He's getting on me about the suit.
- You're ruining the picture. - Okay.
28
00:01:01,574 --> 00:01:02,974
- I'm not doing it. I'm out of here.
29
00:01:02,986 --> 00:01:05,799
- Stop. Where are you going?
- Was gonna do my cool poses.
30
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:08,271
You ready? One, two...
31
00:01:08,772 --> 00:01:11,492
♪ Who's that girl?
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
32
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:13,878
♪ Who's that girl?
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
33
00:01:13,884 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ It's Jess.
34
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:18,641
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:19,435 --> 00:01:21,160
- JESS: You changed.
- Check it out.
36
00:01:21,178 --> 00:01:22,634
Schmidt gave me his worst suit.
37
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,568
He said, if I could get it over
my thighs, he didn't want it.
38
00:01:25,574 --> 00:01:28,574
Miami Vice called, and
this time, I answered.
39
00:01:28,592 --> 00:01:30,747
- (laughing): Yeah?
- Yeah!
40
00:01:31,230 --> 00:01:33,974
I hope you're not doing all this
'cause of what my dad said.
41
00:01:33,992 --> 00:01:36,794
I don't think you're an
unemployable alcoholic bummer.
42
00:01:36,813 --> 00:01:38,642
- What?
- No, I don't think you're a child.
43
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:41,687
- Whoa, when did he say that?
- Hmm?
44
00:01:42,094 --> 00:01:43,401
- What?
- Bob said that about me?
45
00:01:43,414 --> 00:01:44,813
Anyway, the point is...
46
00:01:44,832 --> 00:01:46,950
I don't think you're
any of those things.
47
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:49,256
We're at a wedding together.
48
00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:50,948
It's nice, right?
You look great.
49
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,743
Thanks. So do you.
50
00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:55,098
- I'm gonna go find Cece.
- Yeah.
51
00:01:55,705 --> 00:01:58,618
All right, I guess
we're doing that.
52
00:02:00,749 --> 00:02:04,080
There are so many fun,
cool traditions at this thing.
53
00:02:04,098 --> 00:02:06,089
The groom comes in
on a white horse.
54
00:02:06,102 --> 00:02:09,451
So, basically, they're just
copying my Bar Mitzvah.
55
00:02:10,151 --> 00:02:11,545
Oh, my goodness.
56
00:02:11,807 --> 00:02:14,557
That is Bucky the Badger,
Wisconsin's mascot.
57
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,427
Yeah, I got a sweatshirt
with his face on it,
58
00:02:16,462 --> 00:02:18,580
and he's wearing a sweatshirt
with his face on it.
59
00:02:18,737 --> 00:02:21,192
Bucky cool. Bucky!
60
00:02:21,256 --> 00:02:22,950
He's got a super weird
thing with badgers.
61
00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,637
Is that a real badger?
62
00:02:24,822 --> 00:02:27,598
Hey, the ceremony lasts
for three hours,
63
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:30,675
so you better go pee now.
You know, your weak bladder.
64
00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:32,444
- You remembered.
- Of course I did.
65
00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:35,269
Now I have to pee. Every time
you say "pee," I have to pee.
66
00:02:36,315 --> 00:02:38,267
Thank you for coming.
67
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,291
- Go pee. Okay.
- I'm gonna.
68
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,290
It's okay to be nervous.
69
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:46,898
But nothing can go wrong.
70
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:50,084
All you have to do
is go out there,
71
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:54,292
get married, and I will
do the rest, okay?
72
00:02:54,784 --> 00:02:56,868
(women gasping)
Schmidt!
73
00:03:01,966 --> 00:03:03,481
Get out.
74
00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:05,253
Well, this certainly
isn't the bathroom.
75
00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:07,466
Get out. Get out.
76
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,605
Guys, guys, shut up
and listen to me-- it's Cece.
77
00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:16,638
- She doesn't want to get married.
- Damn. - What happened?
78
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,568
Well, her exact words were: "I
don't want to marry Shivrang,
79
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:21,780
"but my whole family has flown out here
from all the way across the world.
80
00:03:21,798 --> 00:03:25,795
I can't back out now. Please, Schmidt,
as my closest friend, help me."
81
00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:27,571
- What did Jess say?
- Well, Jess didn't hear it--
82
00:03:27,577 --> 00:03:28,801
Cece told me with her eyes.
83
00:03:28,814 --> 00:03:31,483
- Oh, so nothing happened. - Cool, so she's
marrying Shivrang. - No, guys, I know Cece--
84
00:03:31,501 --> 00:03:33,701
- I know her looks.
- Schmidt, what were you doing back there?
85
00:03:33,719 --> 00:03:34,988
Cece's backing out
of the wedding.
86
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,444
- What?
- It's true. She told me.
87
00:03:36,469 --> 00:03:38,313
- With her eyes.
- Oh, my God.
88
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,510
I thought you were talking
about something real. Schmidt.
89
00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:42,173
The wedding's
happening-- let her go.
90
00:03:42,198 --> 00:03:45,245
I have let her go. I'm with
Elizabeth now and she's amazing.
91
00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:48,426
Look, Jess, I'm telling you this
as Cece's friend and nothing more.
92
00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:50,170
Cece loves Shivrang--
I know that
93
00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:51,800
'cause I know her
better than you do.
94
00:03:51,818 --> 00:03:54,276
False. When you've had
sexual congress with someone
95
00:03:54,281 --> 00:03:57,226
and you've peered into their soul at
the exact moment of fulfillment...
96
00:03:57,239 --> 00:03:58,770
- Ew.
- No, no, hear him out.
97
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,920
Schmidt, listen up
and listen good.
98
00:04:00,957 --> 00:04:03,576
You are not to talk to Cece,
you are not to look at Cece,
99
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,729
and you are not to have
eye conversations with her.
100
00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:08,770
Or I will bust you.
101
00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:10,514
Hard.
102
00:04:10,544 --> 00:04:12,760
- And later, I'm gonna bust you hard.
- Yeah, you are.
103
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:16,073
Good night, nurse.
I've been naughty.
104
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,769
Sorry, I didn't know--
you guys were supposed...
105
00:04:17,787 --> 00:04:19,081
not supposed to hear that, so...
106
00:04:19,106 --> 00:04:21,481
Bros ever before the ho.
107
00:04:21,506 --> 00:04:23,275
- Anybody have a jar?
- I'm sorry, okay?
108
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,752
But we have to
sabotage this wedding.
109
00:04:25,769 --> 00:04:27,388
- Winston?
- No, guys, look,
110
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,031
you always bring me into
these situations, and
111
00:04:30,063 --> 00:04:33,970
I get in over my head
because I love pranks.
112
00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:35,784
I really do.
I mean, you know that.
113
00:04:35,796 --> 00:04:39,284
- Yeah. - But look, it's time
for me to just face the facts
114
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,488
that I'm no good at them.
115
00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:45,153
You know, I'm 31 now, and it's
time for me to cut the nonsense.
116
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,680
You're 100% right, man,
but just, I don't know...
117
00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:50,106
what about today, just today...
118
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:52,542
you give me full-on crazy?
119
00:04:53,124 --> 00:04:54,568
- Yeah!
- You listen here!
120
00:04:54,606 --> 00:04:57,137
- Hey, hey, hey. Nobody's doing anything!
- Yeah! - What?
121
00:04:57,168 --> 00:04:59,499
- What?
- Jess asked us not to,
122
00:04:59,519 --> 00:05:03,330
so we are going to enjoy
Cece's wedding like adults.
123
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:05,846
So good night, nurse.
124
00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:07,859
Sorry for saying that.
125
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,063
I am all...
126
00:05:09,094 --> 00:05:11,202
I'm all turned around.
127
00:05:11,401 --> 00:05:14,039
We sabotaging this thing or what?
Absolutely.
128
00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:18,822
(indistinct chatter
and laughter)
129
00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:21,355
Hello, Auntie.
130
00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:23,996
This is embarrassing.
131
00:05:27,045 --> 00:05:29,046
I'll be right back.
132
00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:33,205
Excuse me, Elizabeth.
Can I talk business?
133
00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:34,789
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
134
00:05:34,808 --> 00:05:36,824
- I want you to call it off.
- What?
135
00:05:36,848 --> 00:05:39,891
Whatever you're planning
on doing, don't do it.
136
00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:42,829
- This wedding means a lot to Jess.
- What are you doing?
137
00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:44,602
What has happened to you?
138
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,744
- You changed your suit, you're carrying
her purse. - Yeah, I am.
139
00:05:46,768 --> 00:05:48,235
You're wearing deodorant
140
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:49,797
- under both arms...
- Both arms, yeah.
141
00:05:49,812 --> 00:05:53,875
Why are you trying so hard, man?
Either Jess wants the real you or...
142
00:05:53,999 --> 00:05:55,825
or she don't.
143
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,966
The real Nick would help
me sabo this wedding.
144
00:05:58,019 --> 00:06:00,607
Is "sabo" short
for sabotage, Schmidt?
145
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:01,894
Why would you...?
146
00:06:01,919 --> 00:06:04,033
- I mean, why would you even say that?
- I knew it was. I was being mean.
147
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,893
- I was bullying you to get dominance in this moment.
- You know it... of course you know... you know it is.
148
00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:08,191
- I want you to call it off.
- You know it's...
149
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:12,531
- You know "sabo" is short for sabot... sabotage.
- I know... I know... Hey, skin it and call it off.
150
00:06:12,554 --> 00:06:14,707
- You got it, man.
- Thanks, man.
151
00:06:14,744 --> 00:06:17,217
- I'll call it off. No problem, Nicholas.
- Thank you, buddy. I appreciate that.
152
00:06:17,248 --> 00:06:18,423
- Thank you.
- Now.
153
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,078
Now?
(air horn blares)
154
00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,478
(horse neighing)
155
00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:24,877
(Shivrang yelling)
156
00:06:24,899 --> 00:06:26,347
Shivrang, hold on!
157
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,050
Ow, my testicles!
158
00:06:28,071 --> 00:06:29,890
Don't get on the highway!
159
00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:33,059
Just reared up and just
took off... (groans)
160
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:36,477
- SHIVRANG: I'm scared that it might have
damaged me. - MAN: No, no, no, no damage.
161
00:06:36,508 --> 00:06:39,693
Are you enjoying the wedding
festivities, Schmidt?
162
00:06:40,147 --> 00:06:43,000
What a spunky horse.
163
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:46,615
I know you're responsible
for the horse thing.
164
00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:48,321
- Was I?
- Yes.
165
00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:49,805
- Was I?
- Yes.
166
00:06:49,845 --> 00:06:51,996
- Was...?
- Yes.
167
00:06:57,038 --> 00:06:59,022
- Was...?
- Yes.
168
00:06:59,147 --> 00:07:01,181
- (quickly): Was I?
- Yes.
169
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:03,961
(quietly):
Was I?
170
00:07:04,039 --> 00:07:05,206
Schmidt.
171
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:08,240
(quiet, gentle music playing)
172
00:07:15,849 --> 00:07:17,919
(over speaker): ♪ If it hadn't
been for Cotton-Eyed Joe ♪
173
00:07:17,944 --> 00:07:19,849
♪ I'd been married
a long time ago ♪
174
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,638
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪
175
00:07:21,656 --> 00:07:24,061
♪ Where did you come
from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪
176
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,805
♪ If it hadn't been
for Cotton-Eyed Joe... ♪
177
00:07:27,837 --> 00:07:29,800
It's okay. Who are
you working with?
178
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:31,545
♪ Where did you come from?
♪ Where did you go?
179
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,726
♪ Where did you come from...
180
00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,851
Cotton-Eyed...
181
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,858
Joe.
182
00:07:37,095 --> 00:07:39,245
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪
183
00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:41,101
Winston, no!
Don't do this.
184
00:07:41,107 --> 00:07:42,840
What's done is done, Nicholas.
185
00:07:42,927 --> 00:07:44,446
(chuckles nervously)
186
00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:46,533
Turn it off! I couldn't stop
it even if I wanted to.
187
00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:47,922
Turn it off!
188
00:07:48,084 --> 00:07:50,069
- Nick!
- Pranks!
189
00:07:50,192 --> 00:07:51,645
- Wrong way!
- What... What did you...
190
00:07:51,669 --> 00:07:52,939
Of course!
191
00:07:52,964 --> 00:07:55,453
Of course you were
scheming with Schmidt.
192
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:56,978
Jess, I didn't do anything.
193
00:07:57,015 --> 00:07:59,340
You think that Schmidt and
Winston would be smart enough
194
00:07:59,365 --> 00:08:01,015
to duct-tape the sound board?
195
00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:02,484
That's brilliant!
196
00:08:02,509 --> 00:08:05,414
Plus, we both know
that this is your CD.
197
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,427
♪ Where did you come from,
where did you go? ♪
198
00:08:07,465 --> 00:08:09,060
♪ Where did you
come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪
199
00:08:09,085 --> 00:08:11,266
Why did you need me for this?
200
00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:13,529
Nick?
201
00:08:14,449 --> 00:08:16,212
Winston must have taken
that out of my car.
202
00:08:16,242 --> 00:08:18,582
How gullible do you think I am?
You're fist-pumping right now.
203
00:08:18,601 --> 00:08:20,855
- No, I'm not fist-pumping.
- Yes, you are.
204
00:08:20,955 --> 00:08:22,527
Aah!
205
00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:25,825
- It's so freaking catchy.
- I thought I could count on you.
206
00:08:25,844 --> 00:08:28,913
- I thought things would be different now.
- How could you think I would do this
207
00:08:28,937 --> 00:08:31,118
- at your best friend's wedding?
- Because it's exactly
208
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:32,931
the type of thing that you do.
209
00:08:32,955 --> 00:08:36,878
- A stupid, childish prank.
- Oh, childish?
210
00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:39,979
You're right.
211
00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:41,655
I'm a child.
212
00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:43,759
(grunts)
213
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,964
- Great sabo, man!
- I'm so good at pranks, man.
214
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,336
- I feel alive.
- Really good...
215
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:49,943
- (laughing)
- Phase three.
216
00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:52,956
What's phase three?
Whatever it is, I'm in.
217
00:08:52,987 --> 00:08:55,860
- Let's do this.
- (grunts)
218
00:08:59,285 --> 00:09:01,603
(quiet, gentle music playing)
219
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,386
- Uh, hey, Jess?
- Hmm?
220
00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:14,180
- We went too far.
- What?
221
00:09:14,343 --> 00:09:16,212
- It's bad.
- How bad?
222
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:18,319
It's really bad.
223
00:09:22,683 --> 00:09:23,945
Schmidt...
224
00:09:23,992 --> 00:09:26,063
- What did you do?
- It was Winston's idea.
225
00:09:26,082 --> 00:09:27,257
Oh, my God.
226
00:09:27,281 --> 00:09:30,492
I'm really sorry, okay? I didn't want
anybody to get hurt, but it's too late now.
227
00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:32,827
- It's bigger than all of us.
- Tell me everything.
228
00:09:32,846 --> 00:09:35,345
Or, so help me God,
I will mess up your hair.
229
00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:37,110
Your precious hair.
230
00:09:37,408 --> 00:09:39,933
- Winston's in the... (mumbles)
- What?
231
00:09:39,977 --> 00:09:43,057
- Winston's in... (mumbles)
- What? Say it louder. Say it louder.
232
00:09:43,069 --> 00:09:46,096
Winston is in the air
ducts with a badger.
233
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:48,198
- What?!
- Nick's there, too.
234
00:09:48,231 --> 00:09:49,637
WINSTON:
Ah, Nick.
235
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,884
You've never gone along
with one of my pranks before.
236
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:54,048
- This is exciting.
- (grunts)
237
00:09:54,073 --> 00:09:57,254
I never noticed, but you kind of
have a girl butt. Is that weird to say?
238
00:09:57,273 --> 00:09:59,109
This priest is never
gonna know what hit him.
239
00:09:59,138 --> 00:10:00,896
Wait, that is the plan?
240
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,244
You're gonna drop a badger
on a priest?
241
00:10:03,256 --> 00:10:05,446
(snarling)
(laughing): Oh! He's mad.
242
00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:07,163
That can't be the plan, man!
243
00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:10,684
- What did you do? What did you do? What did you do?
- I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this, okay?
244
00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:13,059
It's just, when Nick
got involved, it became too big.
245
00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:15,070
What? What do you mean,
"when Nick got involved"?
246
00:10:15,101 --> 00:10:17,129
- He wasn't always involved?
- No. He said no.
247
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:20,041
He said, "Jess means too much to
me," or some crapola like that.
248
00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:21,604
- What are you doing?
- Calling Nick.
249
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,400
Jess, he's in the ducts!
250
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:24,672
The ducts!
251
00:10:24,701 --> 00:10:27,145
- Beautiful ceremony.
- Happy day.
252
00:10:28,264 --> 00:10:30,458
- The ducts!
- I know where he is, Schmidt.
253
00:10:30,518 --> 00:10:32,435
(phone ringing)
254
00:10:32,736 --> 00:10:34,796
- What? No, no.
- That's my phone.
255
00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:36,788
- I said no phones.
- I know. I'm gonna get it.
256
00:10:36,806 --> 00:10:38,138
They can track us with phones.
257
00:10:38,156 --> 00:10:40,369
What is going...? Relax.
You're so weird with pranks.
258
00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:41,814
- What is going on with you?
- Put the phone away!
259
00:10:41,845 --> 00:10:44,540
I'm trying to! I'm trying
to turn it off, you idiot!
260
00:10:44,564 --> 00:10:46,915
(Bucky snarling)
Oh... no.
261
00:10:46,972 --> 00:10:48,172
- What's going on?
- Uh...
262
00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:49,722
Bucky got out of his cage, man.
263
00:10:49,743 --> 00:10:52,414
- No! No! I'm getting out of here!
- Let's go get him. No, you're coming with me.
264
00:10:52,439 --> 00:10:54,782
- You got to help me find the badger, Nick!
- (screaming)
265
00:10:54,811 --> 00:10:57,717
- You don't be no bitch!
- I want out of this place!
266
00:10:57,735 --> 00:10:58,761
Bucky!
267
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,302
PRIEST: God bless both of you.
(air ducts rattle)
268
00:11:00,319 --> 00:11:02,854
May he shower you
with many, many children.
269
00:11:02,902 --> 00:11:04,086
(rattling)
270
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:05,439
Ugh, he's not picking up.
271
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,657
- Of course he's not picking up.
He's in the... - Don't say it.
272
00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:09,295
(whispers): ...ducts.
273
00:11:09,648 --> 00:11:10,852
He's in the ducts.
274
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,538
WINSTON (faintly echoing): Nick, stop
being a bitch! Don't be no bitch!
275
00:11:13,557 --> 00:11:14,921
(Nick grunts)
WINSTON: Bucky!
276
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,077
- I'm going up there.
- Okay, good.
277
00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,614
'Cause I really don't want
to go up there. Look,
278
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:20,645
I'm the kind of guy that likes to enjoy
the AC, not see how the sausage is made.
279
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:23,140
Seriously, Schmidt?
Shut up and give me a boost.
280
00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:26,251
Bucky...
281
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:27,990
(Bucky chitters)
Aah.
282
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:29,528
(Bucky snarling)
283
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:31,843
- Winston!
- Nick, where are you?
284
00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:33,342
- WINSTON: Marco...
- Polo!
285
00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:34,856
I don't want to play that.
286
00:11:35,287 --> 00:11:37,393
- No! (screaming)
- JESS: Nick, it's me!
287
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:38,995
Nick, it's me!
288
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,828
Jess, what are you doing here?
289
00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:43,175
Look, I-I know you didn't
plan the sabotage,
290
00:11:43,198 --> 00:11:46,050
and I know you're doing this just to get
back at me, but please don't do this.
291
00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:49,152
Jess, it's not about
the sabotage, okay?
292
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,351
It's about the fact that you think I'm
gonna screw up everything I touch.
293
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,851
- No, Nick, I don't.
- You know what, Jess?
294
00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:56,298
This is where I belong.
295
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:59,465
With Winston and a badger.
296
00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:02,620
All right, Nick, look, let's just go
get the badger and get out of here.
297
00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:04,784
Can't get the badger
because it's loose.
298
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,709
What?!
299
00:12:05,727 --> 00:12:08,170
Hey, Jess, welcome, welcome.
300
00:12:08,182 --> 00:12:09,395
- No! Jess!
- (screaming)
301
00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:11,976
You know, I'm just staying
positive, but, uh...
302
00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:14,601
- I'm pretty sure this is where we die.
- JESS: Winston!
303
00:12:14,628 --> 00:12:17,181
When you complete
the seven circles,
304
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,380
you will be officially married.
305
00:12:19,414 --> 00:12:21,665
You don't have to walk
so fast, you know.
306
00:12:28,685 --> 00:12:30,335
Guys?
307
00:12:30,788 --> 00:12:32,213
Guys, you know...
308
00:12:32,232 --> 00:12:34,818
I've been thinking
a lot about the Earth.
309
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:37,288
We got to leave it better
than when we found it.
310
00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:39,737
- Is this what you wanted
your life to be? - (sighs)
311
00:12:39,755 --> 00:12:42,687
Is this how you wanted to enjoy
your best friend's wedding?
312
00:12:42,712 --> 00:12:44,769
Nick, look, no.
Stop that.
313
00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:47,943
- I am not a healthy person.
- Yeah, I know. I know, Nick.
314
00:12:47,961 --> 00:12:49,280
Oh, you do?
315
00:12:49,298 --> 00:12:51,851
- So a part of you agrees with your dad.
- No. (Bucky snarling, claws scraping)
316
00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:54,188
- Just... oh, my...
- Okay. We got to get out of here.
317
00:12:54,201 --> 00:12:57,976
PRIEST: ...lovely ceremony with
all your family and friends.
318
00:12:58,226 --> 00:13:00,428
Tell me that there isn't
a small part of you
319
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,080
that's scared that
I'm too much of a mess.
320
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:05,175
- We have to go.
- That this thing is a mistake.
321
00:13:05,525 --> 00:13:07,109
You and me.
322
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,575
Just admit it, Jess.
323
00:13:12,883 --> 00:13:14,884
Yes, there is a small part.
324
00:13:16,425 --> 00:13:17,643
Yeah.
325
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,794
But...
(both yelling)
326
00:13:20,628 --> 00:13:22,349
Run!
(screaming)
327
00:13:23,272 --> 00:13:25,390
(guests gasping)
328
00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:26,616
(Nick groaning)
329
00:13:27,353 --> 00:13:28,647
Oh, my...
330
00:13:28,671 --> 00:13:30,546
(groans)
331
00:13:31,401 --> 00:13:33,420
- It's okay.
- Jess?
332
00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:35,740
Always a bridesmaid...
333
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,313
(guests murmuring)
334
00:13:40,239 --> 00:13:41,473
(Bucky chittering)
335
00:13:41,511 --> 00:13:44,348
Aah! Something touched my leg!
336
00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:49,168
You know, sometimes I feel like I
never really felt love, you know?
337
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,870
Do you know?
338
00:13:54,545 --> 00:13:56,299
Hey! Hey, hey, everybody.
339
00:13:56,332 --> 00:13:59,767
Hi. Hi. I'm Jessica Day. I'm
the, uh, maid of honor.
340
00:13:59,785 --> 00:14:02,791
I'm also the person who fell through the
roof with my friend Nick Miller here.
341
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,930
Um, I have a few things to say.
342
00:14:05,036 --> 00:14:08,512
Um, there might be a badger on the
loose, but I have my best people on it.
343
00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:10,256
I'm on it.
Don't scare the badger!
344
00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,865
- Schmidty, help me!
- Okay!
345
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,207
- (screams)
- (screams)
346
00:14:13,225 --> 00:14:14,981
- Funnel it into the mandap!
- Okay.
347
00:14:15,012 --> 00:14:16,878
WINSTON: Hey, guys.
He's in the ninth row.
348
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,453
He is headed north.
349
00:14:19,189 --> 00:14:21,835
JESS: Where were we? Um, Your Honor,
please tell us where we were.
350
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,998
We were on the seventh circle.
351
00:14:24,105 --> 00:14:25,165
So close.
352
00:14:25,177 --> 00:14:26,471
JESS:
Great. Cece, go.
353
00:14:26,496 --> 00:14:29,104
- Jess, you don't have to fix this.
- Fix what?
354
00:14:29,204 --> 00:14:32,239
This is a perfect day.
355
00:14:38,918 --> 00:14:42,189
I'm sorry, everyone,
but I can't do this.
356
00:14:42,871 --> 00:14:45,808
And it's not
because of the horse.
357
00:14:46,076 --> 00:14:48,313
Or the badger.
358
00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:50,759
Or "Cotton-Eyed Joe."
359
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,100
This isn't what I want.
360
00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:59,837
What I want is to be
with someone else.
361
00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:05,813
Shivrang, I feel
terrible. I'm sorry.
362
00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:07,126
No...
363
00:15:07,151 --> 00:15:09,526
No, Cece, it is okay.
364
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:12,392
In fact, it's more than okay.
365
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:15,495
I don't know why I didn't tell
you the truth ages ago, but...
366
00:15:15,525 --> 00:15:17,442
but I want to be
with someone else, too.
367
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,677
- Really?
- Yes.
368
00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:23,333
I have tried to forget you,
Elaine-- really, I have--
369
00:15:23,351 --> 00:15:25,470
- but I just can't.
- Who the hell is Elaine?
370
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:27,503
And I don't care
what my family says.
371
00:15:27,522 --> 00:15:30,711
I want to marry you
in a Presbyterian church.
372
00:15:30,771 --> 00:15:32,576
(guests gasping)
373
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,468
Oh, Shivvy.
374
00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:36,822
I've loved you
since the first grade.
375
00:15:36,849 --> 00:15:40,266
And I'm so lonely without you. I just lay
awake at night, and I just write about you
376
00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:43,010
in my journal, and I paint
pictures of you on my easel.
377
00:15:43,028 --> 00:15:45,202
I want our children to
be photographers and...
378
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,111
and backpack across Europe.
379
00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,424
Will you take me away
from this madness?
380
00:15:49,442 --> 00:15:52,532
And you are not too short for me. I
don't care what your mother says.
381
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,371
Oh, Elaine!
382
00:15:54,699 --> 00:15:55,728
Come!
383
00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:57,681
ELAINE:
Let's go to Vegas and elope!
384
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,528
(Elaine whooping)
385
00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,857
I feel slightly rejected.
386
00:16:04,276 --> 00:16:05,601
Well...
387
00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:08,889
- you were slightly rejected.
- Yeah.
388
00:16:09,157 --> 00:16:11,108
You okay?
389
00:16:11,484 --> 00:16:13,833
Well, I'm not as
good as Elaine.
390
00:16:13,989 --> 00:16:15,510
Who could be?
391
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,418
I feel better than I've
felt in a long time.
392
00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:20,687
Good. I'm glad.
393
00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:24,756
Boobies.
(chuckles)
394
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,151
I don't think the badger's
actually rabid. I think, um...
395
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,420
he's just kind of a dick. So...
396
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:34,001
Hey, Nick.
397
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:36,628
- You okay?
- Me? Yeah.
398
00:16:36,659 --> 00:16:38,119
You mean from the fall?
399
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:40,378
Yeah. And...
400
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:44,097
- what we talked about.
- Yeah. Look, Jess, it's not...
401
00:16:44,142 --> 00:16:45,929
you know, that big of a deal.
402
00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:48,092
And we tried.
It's just...
403
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,511
You might be right about your
fears, you know, it's...
404
00:16:53,529 --> 00:16:54,704
Just...
405
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:56,497
just say it.
406
00:16:56,679 --> 00:16:59,669
I-I think we should
call it, you know?
407
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:02,450
It's not like we're
in love or anything.
408
00:17:03,629 --> 00:17:05,797
We had one night.
409
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:13,085
Okay, let's call it.
410
00:17:13,131 --> 00:17:15,831
I think that feels good to me.
411
00:17:15,873 --> 00:17:17,743
Does that feel good to you?
412
00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:28,536
ELIZABETH: But you must
have feelings for her.
413
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,771
You tried to
sabotage her wedding.
414
00:17:30,790 --> 00:17:33,384
I sabotaged her
wedding as a friend.
415
00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:36,332
I didn't want her to
marry someone else
416
00:17:36,357 --> 00:17:37,847
as a friend.
417
00:17:37,938 --> 00:17:39,613
It's only mantic
because it's a wedding.
418
00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:41,949
I would be just as happy
to sabotage, I don't know...
419
00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:44,352
- let's say, her tax audit.
- Schmidt.
420
00:17:44,884 --> 00:17:46,853
Weird day, huh?
421
00:17:47,128 --> 00:17:48,586
It's a beautiful wedding, Cece.
422
00:17:48,657 --> 00:17:50,291
- Thank you.
- It was Schmidt
423
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,948
that you were
talking about, right?
424
00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:58,134
It was.
425
00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:01,548
I'm-I'm sorry, Elizabeth.
426
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:04,455
Don't be sorry. It's not your problem.
It's Schmidt's.
427
00:18:04,508 --> 00:18:06,814
- Why is it... Why is it my problem?
- Who's it gonna be?
428
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:08,904
Me or her?
429
00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:10,963
No, she's right.
430
00:18:11,129 --> 00:18:14,185
- You have to choose.
- We're gonna do this now?
431
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:18,074
But can... can we sleep on it,
maybe? Maybe take the night?
432
00:18:18,288 --> 00:18:19,301
I've got...
433
00:18:19,326 --> 00:18:22,493
I just got this brand-new Coldplay bootleg.
Live from Rotterdam.
434
00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:24,673
What if we just make some pasta
and really listen to it?
435
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,634
Are you in love with her
or are you in love with me?
436
00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:31,199
You have to decide.
437
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,740
Can I get a beer?
438
00:18:40,759 --> 00:18:42,546
- Heisler?
- Perfect.
439
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:44,727
(sighs)
440
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:46,776
(clattering)
441
00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:49,755
(grunting)
442
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,190
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
443
00:19:03,178 --> 00:19:05,045
Bucky bit me.
444
00:19:05,165 --> 00:19:06,821
- Bit me bad.
- Hmm.
445
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,892
Yeah. So, um...
446
00:19:09,293 --> 00:19:11,127
so I'm pretty dizzy.
447
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,869
Okay.
448
00:19:14,217 --> 00:19:16,805
Okay, what happened with Jess?
449
00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:18,860
We called it.
450
00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:20,685
And she left.
451
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:24,170
Yeah, we-we called it off.
452
00:19:24,487 --> 00:19:28,793
So, now I'm gonna drink,
because that's my move.
453
00:19:29,563 --> 00:19:32,470
Yeah. That was also
your dad's move.
454
00:19:34,903 --> 00:19:38,619
Yeah, when things get
messy, you just run away.
455
00:19:40,454 --> 00:19:43,089
But, you know, there
are other moves.
456
00:19:46,366 --> 00:19:47,940
(chuckles)
457
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:49,968
Go.
458
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,291
Thanks, man.
459
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:58,813
Hey, bartender, can you
call an ambulance?
460
00:19:58,904 --> 00:20:00,576
I'm about to bleed out.
461
00:20:00,595 --> 00:20:02,357
Thanks, man.
462
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:11,564
Look, I know you think
we should call it,
463
00:20:11,582 --> 00:20:13,736
but I don't want
to give up on this,
464
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,268
even if we don't
know what this is.
465
00:20:17,775 --> 00:20:19,984
I want to un-call it.
466
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:23,452
Please, can we un-call it?
(sniffs)
467
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:24,787
(sighs)
468
00:20:24,812 --> 00:20:27,036
Before you say no...
469
00:20:29,347 --> 00:20:31,398
Don't say no.
470
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:38,151
♪
471
00:20:45,299 --> 00:20:47,850
(chuckling)
472
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:51,116
♪ Down, down in my bones...
473
00:20:51,147 --> 00:20:52,386
Hey, give me the keys.
474
00:20:52,414 --> 00:20:54,979
- Where are we going?
- I don't know.
475
00:20:55,561 --> 00:20:57,461
Where did we come from?
476
00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:59,158
- Where do we go?
- (laughs)
477
00:20:59,177 --> 00:21:02,350
- Where did we come from?
- (laughter) Shut up.
478
00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:05,348
Yeah, that was
"Cotton-Eyed Joe," wasn't it?
479
00:21:06,942 --> 00:21:08,930
♪ You talk to me...
(groans)
480
00:21:08,942 --> 00:21:09,641
(laughs)
481
00:21:09,654 --> 00:21:11,342
I felt like something
was gonna happen.
482
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:13,148
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
483
00:21:13,216 --> 00:21:15,779
♪ So let's go to bed
484
00:21:15,798 --> 00:21:18,123
♪ Before you say
something real... ♪
485
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,529
JESS:
Turn left.
486
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,560
- NICK: No, I'm going to make three rights.
- JESS: No, Nick, just turn left!
487
00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:24,322
NICK:
No, it's slower my way.
488
00:21:24,401 --> 00:21:26,195
JESS: Why would you
want to go slower?
489
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:28,698
♪ 'Cause it's you
490
00:21:28,812 --> 00:21:32,496
♪ Oh, it's always you
491
00:21:35,764 --> 00:21:40,764
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com