1
00:00:02,198 --> 00:00:04,363
There he is.
2
00:00:04,364 --> 00:00:07,563
Mr. New York. Mr. Broadway.
3
00:00:07,564 --> 00:00:08,730
Happy last day.
4
00:00:08,731 --> 00:00:10,098
- I made you this.
- Aw.
5
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:13,197
It's a bunch of pictures of you.
6
00:00:13,198 --> 00:00:14,530
Well, I had to take the
necessary precautions,
7
00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:17,197
because the last time you
left, you forgot who I was.
8
00:00:17,198 --> 00:00:18,663
You called me Jebecca.
9
00:00:18,664 --> 00:00:20,663
Well, thank you so much,
Jess. I really like it.
10
00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:22,064
- Cool.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:23,364 --> 00:00:25,230
Well, that's a kick in the shins.
12
00:00:25,231 --> 00:00:27,463
Look, nothing personal, but,
you know, I've moved a lot,
13
00:00:27,464 --> 00:00:29,697
so I have this system that I use.
14
00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:33,063
Duffel bag full of essentials only.
15
00:00:33,064 --> 00:00:35,530
And... one Jess cube.
16
00:00:35,531 --> 00:00:37,630
You can't get rid of me.
17
00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:39,530
Look, Jess, when I move,
I make a clean break, okay?
18
00:00:39,531 --> 00:00:41,263
I'm not going to get all sentimental.
19
00:00:41,264 --> 00:00:43,197
And you promised you
wouldn't make a big deal.
20
00:00:43,198 --> 00:00:44,597
No, you're right, you're right.
I promised you I wouldn't.
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00:00:44,598 --> 00:00:46,230
- You did.
- But...
22
00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:47,597
what about everyone else?
23
00:00:47,598 --> 00:00:49,431
Showtime!
24
00:00:50,464 --> 00:00:52,198
Hit it, Schmidt!
25
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,297
Huh?
26
00:00:55,298 --> 00:00:57,263
Oh.
27
00:00:57,264 --> 00:00:59,097
Nick, where's your Donald Trump wig?
28
00:00:59,098 --> 00:01:00,130
- It's here.
- Ugh.
29
00:01:00,131 --> 00:01:01,130
This was not my vision.
30
00:01:01,131 --> 00:01:03,263
I specifically said "dazzle."
31
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,363
You said "razzle-dazzle," and we said,
32
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,097
"We don't want to do that."
33
00:01:06,098 --> 00:01:07,563
Yeah, we told you this
is not what he would want.
34
00:01:07,564 --> 00:01:09,230
This isn't how men say good-bye.
35
00:01:09,231 --> 00:01:12,397
Live from New York, it's Coach's good-bye!
36
00:01:13,631 --> 00:01:15,130
Yeah, show's over.
37
00:01:15,131 --> 00:01:16,563
We ain't doing this?
38
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:27,707
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
39
00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:30,030
The system works.
40
00:01:30,031 --> 00:01:32,297
Remember, essentials only.
41
00:01:32,298 --> 00:01:34,563
It's not just for packing;
it's a way of life.
42
00:01:34,564 --> 00:01:37,330
You want to move forward, you
got to get rid of the past.
43
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,097
That means throw out all your junk...
44
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,097
- Right...
- Emotional junk, actual junk.
45
00:01:41,098 --> 00:01:42,163
Got to make a clean break.
46
00:01:42,164 --> 00:01:43,730
Clean break. That's right.
47
00:01:43,731 --> 00:01:45,563
You're blowing my mind right now, Coach.
48
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:47,630
- Doesn't even mean anything.
- Or does it mean everything?
49
00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:49,163
I cannot believe you're
50
00:01:49,164 --> 00:01:51,130
all buying into Coach's crazy system.
51
00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:52,597
You guys have fun with your clean break.
52
00:01:52,598 --> 00:01:54,463
I'm gonna go to my room, and I guess
53
00:01:54,464 --> 00:01:56,130
I'll have to cancel the horse and carriage
54
00:01:56,131 --> 00:01:57,430
that I hired to take you to the airport.
55
00:01:57,431 --> 00:01:58,630
May and I are driving.
56
00:01:58,631 --> 00:02:00,130
You are now.
57
00:02:00,131 --> 00:02:01,363
You guys sure you're up for this?
58
00:02:01,364 --> 00:02:03,430
I am ready for this. I'm single again.
59
00:02:03,431 --> 00:02:05,430
I'm a new man. I'm leaving the past behind.
60
00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:06,697
I want to get rid of my stuff,
61
00:02:06,698 --> 00:02:09,363
but all my stuff is really, really good,
62
00:02:09,364 --> 00:02:11,330
and I just can't get rid of it.
63
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,030
It's not, and you have to.
64
00:02:13,031 --> 00:02:14,130
Everything you own is trash.
65
00:02:14,131 --> 00:02:15,130
You're basically a hoarder.
66
00:02:15,131 --> 00:02:16,130
Not true.
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00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:17,430
Everything has meaning.
68
00:02:17,431 --> 00:02:18,630
Everything is connected to something else.
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00:02:18,631 --> 00:02:20,430
You need to be hard on yourself, okay?
70
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,763
- Now, take this box and fill it up.
- Okay...
71
00:02:22,764 --> 00:02:25,030
- Think I can do it?
- Absolutely.
72
00:02:25,031 --> 00:02:27,597
Okay. I'm gonna get hard and fix myself.
73
00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:29,663
- What?
- That's not... No.
74
00:02:29,664 --> 00:02:31,630
That's... I didn't... No.
75
00:02:31,631 --> 00:02:32,997
Oh, here we go.
76
00:02:32,998 --> 00:02:34,530
The Regis Philbin crepe pan.
77
00:02:34,531 --> 00:02:37,363
Come on, Coach. You can't give this away.
78
00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:39,363
Remember February 2014?
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00:02:39,364 --> 00:02:41,163
Or, as we like to call it,
80
00:02:41,164 --> 00:02:43,363
- Crepe History Month.
- Crepe History Month.
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00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,663
It was a hot winter's night.
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00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,697
We were drunk, but our
judgment was on point.
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00:02:46,698 --> 00:02:48,197
You hear that sizzle?
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00:02:48,198 --> 00:02:50,497
Let that sizzle speak!
85
00:02:50,498 --> 00:02:52,363
Those pancakes are paper-thin.
86
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:54,363
There's only three left, so act fast.
87
00:02:54,364 --> 00:02:56,497
This crepe pan... is a knockout!
88
00:02:56,498 --> 00:02:58,730
- Coach, we got to act fast.
- We got to act fast.
89
00:02:58,731 --> 00:03:00,563
- We got to act fast!
- They're so thin!
90
00:03:03,464 --> 00:03:06,030
You got to take the Rege,
at least for the memories.
91
00:03:06,031 --> 00:03:07,556
- The Rege, man.
- The Rege!
92
00:03:07,676 --> 00:03:09,110
- You know, I can't get rid of the Rege.
- Can't get rid of the...
93
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:09,911
Psych!
94
00:03:10,031 --> 00:03:11,330
I'm getting rid of the Rege.
95
00:03:11,331 --> 00:03:12,563
Memories are nonessential, all right?
96
00:03:12,564 --> 00:03:14,663
That's what makes the system work.
97
00:03:14,664 --> 00:03:16,497
I found an ant farm full of candy wrappers.
98
00:03:16,498 --> 00:03:17,697
Is this essential?
99
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,197
Like, really, what do you think?
100
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:21,030
Hmm? I need you to get harder, Nick.
101
00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:23,130
Can you get harder for me?
102
00:03:23,131 --> 00:03:25,063
- What?
- Do you need me to get hard with you?
103
00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:26,297
I feel like you're not...
104
00:03:26,298 --> 00:03:27,663
meaning to say what you're saying.
105
00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:29,130
Talking about cleaning up.
106
00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:30,664
Schmidt, I think you forgot about this box.
107
00:03:32,031 --> 00:03:33,497
Oh, oh, that's cool. Thanks, man.
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00:03:33,498 --> 00:03:35,597
- I appreciate it.
- Oh... you got a Cece box.
109
00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:37,197
So what? It's not like everybody
110
00:03:37,198 --> 00:03:39,230
hasn't seen your Phylicia Rashad box.
111
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:41,430
- No, you hav... You have?
- Birthday card...
112
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:44,330
Don't... please don't go
in the Cece box. Don't do...
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00:03:44,331 --> 00:03:46,530
a crude drawing of...
114
00:03:46,531 --> 00:03:49,230
you and Cece and your mixed-race child.
115
00:03:49,231 --> 00:03:50,497
Yes, I painted that.
116
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,030
Ooh, five dollars! Come to daddy.
117
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:54,430
This five dollars belongs in the box.
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00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,330
It's from the night that I first met Cece.
119
00:03:56,331 --> 00:03:58,263
Looks like it's finally
just the two of us, huh?
120
00:03:58,264 --> 00:04:00,530
Oh, God, you're about to say
something stupid, aren't you?
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00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,297
Yeah.
122
00:04:02,298 --> 00:04:04,297
Girl...
123
00:04:04,298 --> 00:04:05,630
And then I said something stupid, and Cece
124
00:04:05,631 --> 00:04:07,063
made me put money in the douche bag jar.
125
00:04:07,064 --> 00:04:08,430
What'd you say? You say you can flex
126
00:04:08,431 --> 00:04:10,230
- your butt cheeks like pecs?
- I bet you were all like,
127
00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:12,563
"You're making my dong go crazy!"
128
00:04:12,564 --> 00:04:13,630
I bet he said something chauvinistic...
129
00:04:13,631 --> 00:04:16,263
...that comes from insecurity
130
00:04:16,264 --> 00:04:18,297
but ultimately leads
to something endearing.
131
00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,530
You know, it doesn't matter what I said.
132
00:04:19,531 --> 00:04:21,530
- Nonessential, right?
- Exactly.
133
00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:22,997
So, good-bye, Cece.
134
00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:24,097
May some poor street urchin
135
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,363
with a perfect 34-D
136
00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:27,131
enjoy the sports bra
that you left in my car.
137
00:04:28,531 --> 00:04:29,697
We got to tell Schmidt
138
00:04:29,698 --> 00:04:31,097
that Cece is in love with him.
139
00:04:31,098 --> 00:04:32,763
Right now, he is out there
140
00:04:32,764 --> 00:04:34,463
throwing away all of his Cece mementos,
141
00:04:34,464 --> 00:04:36,497
acting like he's just going to move on.
142
00:04:36,498 --> 00:04:39,763
Jess, I cannot watch this
when I know what I know.
143
00:04:39,764 --> 00:04:41,563
- I know.
- We got to tell him.
144
00:04:41,564 --> 00:04:43,330
I promised her I wouldn't get involved.
145
00:04:43,331 --> 00:04:45,397
I always meddle. I've learned my lesson.
146
00:04:45,398 --> 00:04:47,730
She's trying to get
Schmidt out of her system,
147
00:04:47,731 --> 00:04:49,263
and we have to support her,
148
00:04:49,264 --> 00:04:51,297
even if it means letting
her climb a mountain
149
00:04:51,298 --> 00:04:53,030
with no prior knowledge or experience.
150
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,263
Yeah, but does she know that
Schmidt and Fawn broke up?
151
00:04:55,264 --> 00:04:56,730
Is she getting our voice mails?
152
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,597
I don't know. She hasn't called me back.
153
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:01,163
Maybe there's no reception
on the top of Mount Shasta.
154
00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:02,730
We try again.
155
00:05:02,731 --> 00:05:05,097
- Hey, Cece, it's Je...
- Hey, yo, Ceec, what up, fam?
156
00:05:05,098 --> 00:05:07,330
It's your girl Winston,
aka Winnie the Bish,
157
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:09,630
aka-ak-aka Brown Lightning.
158
00:05:09,631 --> 00:05:12,263
Schmidt dropped Fawn
like a bad habit, okay,
159
00:05:12,264 --> 00:05:13,763
so ain't nobody riding shotgun.
160
00:05:13,764 --> 00:05:16,063
So you better get on
while the getting is good.
161
00:05:16,064 --> 00:05:17,664
You got it?
162
00:05:19,631 --> 00:05:22,063
I hate that you're so good at this.
163
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,497
I was so nervous.
164
00:05:23,498 --> 00:05:25,297
Look at all this crap.
165
00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:26,430
Look at this.
166
00:05:26,431 --> 00:05:28,030
"Associated Strategies."
167
00:05:28,031 --> 00:05:30,063
"Ass Strat." What a joke.
168
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,330
More like "Butt Strat."
This place is total butt.
169
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,230
Hey, Jess, it's our sex mug.
170
00:05:35,231 --> 00:05:36,497
- What?
- What?
171
00:05:36,498 --> 00:05:37,763
Oh... nothing.
172
00:05:37,764 --> 00:05:40,497
It's just a mug that
Nick and I used for sex.
173
00:05:40,498 --> 00:05:42,463
- Oh, gross. Like, in it?
- Ew! What?
174
00:05:42,464 --> 00:05:44,697
No. No, we used it when we were dating.
175
00:05:44,698 --> 00:05:46,230
It was hard to find times
176
00:05:46,231 --> 00:05:47,630
to be intimate with everyone around,
177
00:05:47,631 --> 00:05:49,663
so we needed to come up with a code.
178
00:05:49,664 --> 00:05:52,130
Just a way to let each
other know we were aroused
179
00:05:52,131 --> 00:05:53,663
without arousing suspicion.
180
00:05:53,664 --> 00:05:55,630
That's wordplay.
181
00:05:55,631 --> 00:05:58,299
It's also a free writing lesson.
182
00:05:58,419 --> 00:05:59,163
When one of us
183
00:05:59,164 --> 00:06:01,197
left the mug on the entryway table...
184
00:06:01,198 --> 00:06:02,463
"Ass" out meant it was time to...
185
00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:04,363
- Make love...
- Bone.
186
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,730
Yeah, make love.
187
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,497
We're getting rid of this
thing... especially since
188
00:06:07,498 --> 00:06:08,730
you guys aren't using it anymore, right?
189
00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:10,463
- Right.
- Wrong.
190
00:06:10,464 --> 00:06:13,363
I, Winston L'Andre Bishop,
191
00:06:13,364 --> 00:06:18,378
saw that very mug on
this very hallway table
192
00:06:18,498 --> 00:06:20,363
just last week...
193
00:06:20,364 --> 00:06:22,730
"Ass" very out.
194
00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:24,997
Ooh...!
195
00:06:24,998 --> 00:06:26,463
Winston, that mug hasn't seen
196
00:06:26,464 --> 00:06:28,030
any action in over a year.
197
00:06:28,031 --> 00:06:29,230
You're off your rocker.
198
00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:30,730
If I were off my rocker,
199
00:06:30,731 --> 00:06:33,497
would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?
200
00:06:33,498 --> 00:06:34,997
Oh, Winston.
201
00:06:34,998 --> 00:06:38,463
You see, just last week,
I took this selfie with...
202
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,030
Wait, not that one.
203
00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:45,298
That's crazy. Not that one.
I forgot I had this one.
204
00:06:46,398 --> 00:06:48,197
This selfie,
205
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:50,530
in front of that table.
206
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:53,397
Sex mug. Question is, who put the mug out?
207
00:06:53,398 --> 00:06:55,603
All right, let's not play the
"who put the mug out" game.
208
00:06:55,723 --> 00:06:57,078
We should be focusing on Coach.
209
00:06:57,198 --> 00:06:59,397
I saw you checking out
Jess's butt last week.
210
00:06:59,398 --> 00:07:01,397
- No.
- Yes, she was wearing the "look at me" skirt.
211
00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:03,097
- All right, well, let's not try to...
- My money's on Jess.
212
00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:04,763
- Wait.
- She hasn't had sex since Ryan,
213
00:07:04,764 --> 00:07:06,730
and desperate times call for Nick Miller.
214
00:07:06,731 --> 00:07:09,030
Is the "look at me" skirt the green one?
215
00:07:09,031 --> 00:07:10,430
- Hey. Do not change the subject.
- You are implicating yourself
216
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,063
by changing the subject like that.
217
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:13,397
Hey!
218
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:14,430
I put the mug out.
219
00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:17,030
Okay? And, actually, nothing happened,
220
00:07:17,031 --> 00:07:18,663
and I regret nothing.
221
00:07:18,664 --> 00:07:20,463
Now, I'm going to my room,
222
00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:23,531
and I'm considering
throwing out my sunglasses.
223
00:07:31,673 --> 00:07:34,630
So long, old friend.
224
00:07:35,631 --> 00:07:38,230
Just doesn't feel right.
225
00:07:38,231 --> 00:07:40,563
Welcome back, old friend.
226
00:07:40,564 --> 00:07:42,164
Hey.
227
00:07:43,264 --> 00:07:44,497
Got a second?
228
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,379
Jess, we don't have to talk about it.
229
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:49,063
Obviously, I was the
one who put the mug out,
230
00:07:49,064 --> 00:07:51,597
so I wanted to thank
you for covering for me.
231
00:07:51,598 --> 00:07:53,263
- No problem.
- Obviously, we're broken up,
232
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,763
and it was... a moment of weakness.
233
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:57,463
I didn't even know you put
it out; I didn't see it.
234
00:07:57,464 --> 00:07:59,230
- Oh!
- No harm, no foul.
235
00:07:59,231 --> 00:08:00,063
- Well...
- We didn't bone.
236
00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,530
No bone, no phone home.
237
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:04,630
- Great. So we're cool.
- I'm cool if you're cool.
238
00:08:04,631 --> 00:08:05,497
Fanterstic.
239
00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:07,730
I'm going to knit a scarf for Coach.
240
00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:09,363
- I'm sure he'll love it.
- Okay, bye.
241
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,098
- Thanks for the chat.
- Sayonara.
242
00:08:13,098 --> 00:08:14,263
Hey, Nick, uh, do you want
243
00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:15,597
to know why I put the mug out?
244
00:08:15,598 --> 00:08:17,430
- We're cool!
- We're cool.
245
00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:18,463
- Go knit that scarf.
- Right.
246
00:08:35,564 --> 00:08:37,098
Okay.
247
00:08:39,098 --> 00:08:41,297
No, no, no! Cece!
248
00:08:41,298 --> 00:08:43,364
I want it back! I want it back!
249
00:08:44,631 --> 00:08:46,163
Pop, pop, little bubble!
250
00:08:46,164 --> 00:08:48,297
Let that sizzle speak.
251
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:50,363
It's time to flip. Care to do the honors?
252
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,564
Ah, sure, man. That'd be cool.
253
00:08:53,464 --> 00:08:55,363
Rude.
254
00:08:55,364 --> 00:08:57,630
Winston, you're not gonna trick
me into taking the stupid pan.
255
00:08:57,631 --> 00:08:59,463
It stays behind... that's the system!
256
00:08:59,464 --> 00:09:01,163
Clean break.
257
00:09:01,164 --> 00:09:02,597
You know what, fine, Coach,
don't take it with you.
258
00:09:02,598 --> 00:09:03,997
Leave everything behind.
259
00:09:03,998 --> 00:09:05,463
Try not to remember anyone.
260
00:09:05,464 --> 00:09:07,630
We are nonessential.
261
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,431
Message received.
262
00:09:11,998 --> 00:09:14,330
Nah, Coach, I don't think so.
263
00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:16,763
Because this crepe belongs
264
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,464
in the belly of someone with a heart.
265
00:09:28,231 --> 00:09:29,331
Damn it!
266
00:09:30,331 --> 00:09:31,431
Ouch!
267
00:09:37,498 --> 00:09:38,607
Why are you so secure?
268
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,631
You're filled with
things that nobody wants!
269
00:09:43,664 --> 00:09:45,997
Oh. Thank God.
270
00:09:45,998 --> 00:09:47,430
Hey, how are you?
271
00:09:47,431 --> 00:09:49,163
I dropped something in the
bin, and I need it back.
272
00:09:49,164 --> 00:09:50,531
You Jewish?
273
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,663
I just need a bo... I just need a box.
274
00:10:00,664 --> 00:10:02,497
I just can't part with you.
275
00:10:02,498 --> 00:10:04,997
- Okay, I'll tell you what happened.
- You knit fast.
276
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:08,163
Winston had fallen asleep
polishing his candelabra.
277
00:10:08,164 --> 00:10:10,197
I had just opened a bottle of pink wine,
278
00:10:10,198 --> 00:10:12,063
- and then you showed up.
- Oh, hey.
279
00:10:12,064 --> 00:10:13,463
Just working out.
280
00:10:13,464 --> 00:10:15,031
Got to sweep the temple.
281
00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:28,764
Damn...
282
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,030
So, see, it wasn't my fault.
283
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:35,030
In your defense, I've
been working on my body,
284
00:10:35,031 --> 00:10:37,031
doing my burpees, and it shows.
285
00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:50,263
I'm not gonna do that again.
286
00:10:50,264 --> 00:10:52,064
- Nick...
- Warrior pose!
287
00:10:53,631 --> 00:10:56,630
Nick, is there anything that I do
288
00:10:56,631 --> 00:11:00,631
that makes you think
about putting the mug out?
289
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,764
No, I-I can't think of anything.
290
00:11:07,764 --> 00:11:09,630
Right.
291
00:11:09,631 --> 00:11:11,730
It's just not the way
that this old brain works.
292
00:11:11,731 --> 00:11:13,397
Clean break.
293
00:11:13,398 --> 00:11:15,730
Great. Clean break. I agree.
294
00:11:15,731 --> 00:11:17,998
Jess, hold on. Hey,
hey... H-How is that...?
295
00:11:18,731 --> 00:11:20,731
Jess, wait!
296
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,631
Yeah, I'm stuck.
297
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:27,949
Well, we seem to be
298
00:11:28,069 --> 00:11:29,138
in a bit of a conundrum.
299
00:11:29,258 --> 00:11:30,761
How do I know this is your box?
300
00:11:30,881 --> 00:11:33,130
Do you have any identification, "Cece"?
301
00:11:33,131 --> 00:11:35,030
Cece's my ex-girlfriend;
it's a box of her things.
302
00:11:35,031 --> 00:11:36,997
But I can tell you
everything that's in there.
303
00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:38,730
There's some paintings, erotic writings,
304
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:39,730
there's a brassiere.
305
00:11:39,731 --> 00:11:41,430
Why would you have her brassiere?
306
00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,263
Well, you know, she left
it in my car, and I kept it.
307
00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:44,763
She never asked for it back?
308
00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:48,430
Okay, um, Wally, look,
it's a box of memories.
309
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:50,730
Memories that I'm not
ready to let go of yet.
310
00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:52,363
Maybe if I could talk to Cece...
311
00:11:52,364 --> 00:11:54,297
Can't talk to Cece; Cece's
on top of a mountain.
312
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,197
Look, I know this is unusual,
313
00:11:56,198 --> 00:11:57,463
but I need that box back, Wally.
314
00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:59,097
I need it back more than anything else
315
00:11:59,098 --> 00:12:00,763
I've ever needed in my life.
316
00:12:00,764 --> 00:12:02,330
Please.
317
00:12:02,331 --> 00:12:05,128
Does she know she's on the mountain,
318
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:06,997
or is she being held
there against her will?
319
00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:07,730
Damn it, Wally, give me the box!
320
00:12:07,731 --> 00:12:09,763
No! No!
321
00:12:09,764 --> 00:12:12,097
No! No!
322
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,430
Wally!
323
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,063
Stop blowing the whistle!
324
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:16,564
You're sexually safe!
325
00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,497
Coach, is that a bigger bag?
326
00:12:21,498 --> 00:12:24,330
My old bag broke, so I got a wheelie.
327
00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:25,563
Same system.
328
00:12:25,564 --> 00:12:27,130
Still only essentials.
329
00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:30,363
Is there a pan in there?
330
00:12:30,364 --> 00:12:32,230
Nah. Nah, that's not a pan.
331
00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:33,763
That was just, uh, the sound of
332
00:12:33,764 --> 00:12:35,463
two track pants hitting together.
333
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:38,564
You know, the buttons
be like... ting... ti...
334
00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:42,130
But, um...
335
00:12:42,131 --> 00:12:43,763
Yeah, since I got this new suitcase,
336
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,130
I might as well take a few more things.
337
00:12:46,131 --> 00:12:48,130
Just to fill up space. Know what I mean?
338
00:12:48,131 --> 00:12:49,463
Just to fill up space.
339
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,697
Like, uh...
340
00:12:51,698 --> 00:12:54,298
take these glass grapes.
341
00:12:56,331 --> 00:12:57,563
Just to fill up space.
342
00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:58,697
Not that I want them.
343
00:12:58,698 --> 00:12:59,697
Of course not.
344
00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:00,997
And this blanket.
345
00:13:00,998 --> 00:13:02,497
For cushioning.
346
00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:04,763
That smells nice, huh?
347
00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,231
For cushioning, dude.
348
00:13:07,398 --> 00:13:08,763
These mystery novels.
349
00:13:08,764 --> 00:13:10,530
Take these.
350
00:13:10,531 --> 00:13:12,763
Not 'cause they're Jess's, just because...
351
00:13:12,764 --> 00:13:14,497
I'm an avid reader now.
352
00:13:14,498 --> 00:13:16,997
Stop smiling at me, man.
353
00:13:16,998 --> 00:13:19,163
I'm taking Nick's workout jams.
354
00:13:19,164 --> 00:13:21,030
'Cause, uh...
355
00:13:21,031 --> 00:13:22,997
that one time I trained him,
356
00:13:22,998 --> 00:13:24,663
saw a lot of results.
357
00:13:24,664 --> 00:13:27,097
I remember. He was so fat.
358
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,663
And I'm taking this remote.
359
00:13:29,664 --> 00:13:31,997
Because you always hit
the info button by mistake.
360
00:13:31,998 --> 00:13:34,397
No, no, it's not by mistake, Coach.
361
00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:38,197
I like to know more
about the cast and crew.
362
00:13:38,198 --> 00:13:41,397
Remote's gonna miss this TV so much.
363
00:13:41,398 --> 00:13:44,197
Our TV is gonna miss that remote.
364
00:13:48,264 --> 00:13:50,063
Smells like all our fingers.
365
00:13:57,231 --> 00:13:58,397
Hey, Jess.
366
00:13:58,398 --> 00:13:59,997
Hey.
367
00:13:59,998 --> 00:14:02,630
Do you really think
368
00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:04,997
I haven't thought about
putting this mug out?
369
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:07,363
Oh, I don't know, Nick. You said it.
370
00:14:07,364 --> 00:14:09,297
What's past is past. Clean break.
371
00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:12,530
Think about my living
conditions for the past year.
372
00:14:12,531 --> 00:14:15,430
I live across the hall from
my beautiful ex-girlfriend.
373
00:14:15,431 --> 00:14:17,563
And your living conditions...
374
00:14:17,564 --> 00:14:19,763
you live across the hall from
your beautiful ex-boyfriend.
375
00:14:19,764 --> 00:14:22,497
Two true beauties.
376
00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:23,730
So you have thought about it.
377
00:14:23,731 --> 00:14:24,997
I'm a man.
378
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,730
- I am a human man.
- Interesting.
379
00:14:26,731 --> 00:14:28,187
You're the one who's always
getting out of that shower
380
00:14:28,307 --> 00:14:29,513
in that little towel, Jess.
381
00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,630
Or you're wearing your glitter
382
00:14:31,631 --> 00:14:33,397
or your pantyhose.
383
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:35,563
They're driving me crazy! Okay?
384
00:14:35,564 --> 00:14:37,563
I know how hard it is to
get those pantyhose up,
385
00:14:37,564 --> 00:14:39,563
and I just... I just
sometimes want to rip 'em down.
386
00:14:39,564 --> 00:14:41,297
Just admit it, Miller!
387
00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:43,097
You're thinking about putting
the mug down right now!
388
00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:44,630
No.
389
00:14:44,631 --> 00:14:47,663
Admit that you want me
to be thinking about it.
390
00:14:47,664 --> 00:14:49,931
I don't want you to think about
it, so stop thinking about it.
391
00:14:50,051 --> 00:14:52,063
Well stop talking about it and
then I'll stop thinking about it.
392
00:14:52,064 --> 00:14:53,397
- So, you are thinking about it?
- Look, Jess!
393
00:14:53,398 --> 00:14:54,764
I'm not not...
394
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,497
thinking about it.
395
00:15:02,431 --> 00:15:05,430
Hey, guys. Want to know
what happened to me today?
396
00:15:05,431 --> 00:15:06,571
We're kind of in the middle of something...
397
00:15:06,691 --> 00:15:07,344
Fine, I'll tell you.
398
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:10,130
I spent $500 to get
back a five dollar bill.
399
00:15:10,131 --> 00:15:11,997
Go ahead, call me a fool.
400
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,463
You won't be the first
person to call me that today.
401
00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:15,463
You're a fool!
402
00:15:15,464 --> 00:15:17,263
I need to move on.
403
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:19,163
I'm never gonna get Cece back.
404
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:20,530
And I know it's my fault that I lost her.
405
00:15:20,531 --> 00:15:21,763
You lost her twice.
406
00:15:21,764 --> 00:15:23,763
- You had her...
- I know I lost her twice.
407
00:15:23,764 --> 00:15:25,763
- Why would you have to...?
- Then you got her, then you blew it.
408
00:15:25,764 --> 00:15:26,763
Then you got her...
409
00:15:26,764 --> 00:15:29,330
Who are you clarifying this for?
410
00:15:29,331 --> 00:15:31,197
Are you sure you know
how Cece feels about you?
411
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,697
Yeah, I mean, she said a thousand times
412
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:35,557
- that she only wants to be friends with me.
- Schmidt...
413
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,530
Jess, Cece doesn't love
me and she never will.
414
00:15:37,531 --> 00:15:39,297
So I think it's time to let go.
415
00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:41,497
- Nick, I want you to have this five dollars.
- What?
416
00:15:41,498 --> 00:15:44,329
Go buy yourself something
special, like a burrito.
417
00:15:44,449 --> 00:15:45,497
I love burritos.
418
00:15:45,498 --> 00:15:47,030
Oh, I have to tell you something, Schmidt!
419
00:15:47,031 --> 00:15:48,363
I...
420
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,563
But I can't tell you.
421
00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:52,063
So, I'll...
422
00:15:52,064 --> 00:15:54,063
I'll tell you. Loophole!
423
00:15:54,064 --> 00:15:55,197
Nick...
424
00:15:55,198 --> 00:15:57,297
Cece's in love with Schmidt.
425
00:15:57,298 --> 00:15:59,363
What?
426
00:15:59,364 --> 00:16:01,330
Yeah.
427
00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:03,630
For real?
428
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,997
- Well...
- Also, Winston promised...
429
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,297
- Why are we talking about Winston?!
- Winston...
430
00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:09,577
Cece loves me! Nick, we did it!
431
00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:10,840
I got to go!
432
00:16:12,904 --> 00:16:13,796
Can't wait for Cece
433
00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:14,893
to get back from her trip.
434
00:16:15,013 --> 00:16:17,523
I'm going after her. Coach...
435
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,298
I used to wish that you were uglier.
436
00:16:23,698 --> 00:16:25,363
I don't wish that anymore.
437
00:16:25,364 --> 00:16:27,163
I only wish you the best.
438
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:29,597
Hey, you're the handsome
one in the loft now.
439
00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:32,497
Big responsibility, but
I think you're ready.
440
00:16:32,498 --> 00:16:34,663
All right, you guys, I'm off.
441
00:16:34,664 --> 00:16:36,530
Off to climb a mountain.
442
00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:38,197
I'll see you in autumn.
443
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,197
Winter at the latest.
444
00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,330
- Good luck, Schmidt.
- Yeah.
445
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:43,030
- You go get her!
- Okay.
446
00:16:43,031 --> 00:16:44,263
Find that girl.
447
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,130
- See you, Schmidt!
- Bye!
448
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,730
Cece!
449
00:16:49,731 --> 00:16:52,531
Cece.
450
00:16:54,564 --> 00:16:56,330
Hey, um...
451
00:16:56,331 --> 00:16:59,197
so, I was, I was on the
top of this mountain,
452
00:16:59,198 --> 00:17:00,730
and I finally got cell reception
453
00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:03,230
and there were, like,
20 voice mails from...
454
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,998
Are you in love with me?
455
00:17:06,231 --> 00:17:08,363
Because I'm in love with you.
456
00:17:08,364 --> 00:17:10,697
Deeply.
457
00:17:10,698 --> 00:17:12,697
But I assumed that you
would never because I've...
458
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,297
I've messed this up so many times.
459
00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:15,997
And you've made it very clear
that you just want to be friends
460
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:18,097
with me and I value
that friendship so much.
461
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:20,097
So if I'm ruining it by doing
462
00:17:20,098 --> 00:17:22,363
any of this, please, please stop me!
463
00:17:22,364 --> 00:17:25,098
Schmidt.
464
00:17:28,598 --> 00:17:30,697
I'm in...
465
00:17:30,698 --> 00:17:32,397
I'm in love with you.
466
00:17:34,564 --> 00:17:35,763
Really?
467
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,130
Mm-hmm.
468
00:17:37,131 --> 00:17:40,197
Yeah.
469
00:17:40,198 --> 00:17:44,163
Yeah, it's kind of stupid
how much I'm in love with you.
470
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,263
You should've seen how fast
I came down that mountain.
471
00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:48,130
I mean, a lot of it was falling.
472
00:17:48,131 --> 00:17:49,764
Luckily, the ground just stopped me, but...
473
00:17:52,098 --> 00:17:53,397
You remember this?
474
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:56,497
Looks like it's finally
just the two of us, huh?
475
00:17:56,498 --> 00:17:58,763
Oh, God, you're about to say
something stupid, aren't you?
476
00:17:58,764 --> 00:18:00,397
Yeah.
477
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:03,630
Girl, I'm-a marry you.
478
00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:04,763
Jar.
479
00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:07,263
I know this might seem crazy,
480
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:10,097
uh, and...
481
00:18:10,098 --> 00:18:13,097
probably a little bit
impulsive, but it's not.
482
00:18:13,098 --> 00:18:15,630
Not for me.
483
00:18:15,631 --> 00:18:18,098
I've known since the minute that I met you.
484
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,663
Oh, my God.
485
00:18:22,664 --> 00:18:24,163
Cecelia Parikh...
486
00:18:24,164 --> 00:18:25,263
Oh, God, you're gonna say
487
00:18:25,264 --> 00:18:26,298
something stupid, aren't you?
488
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,263
Girl, will you marry me?
489
00:18:32,598 --> 00:18:34,297
Would you please shut up?!
I can't hear the answer!
490
00:18:34,298 --> 00:18:35,198
Oh. Shh. Yeah.
491
00:18:36,331 --> 00:18:37,263
Yes!
492
00:18:38,998 --> 00:18:41,164
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
493
00:18:42,364 --> 00:18:44,297
We're getting married!
494
00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:50,331
We did it!
495
00:18:53,531 --> 00:18:55,164
Go say bye.
496
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:01,431
Uh...
497
00:19:02,498 --> 00:19:06,197
I love you guys and, uh...
498
00:19:06,198 --> 00:19:08,598
I'm gonna miss you.
499
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:11,131
Especially you, Jebecca.
500
00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:13,630
Aw.
501
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:15,663
All right, man.
502
00:19:15,664 --> 00:19:17,997
All right! Aw.
503
00:19:17,998 --> 00:19:19,097
We're gonna miss you.
504
00:19:19,098 --> 00:19:20,163
Bye, buddy.
505
00:19:20,164 --> 00:19:21,397
Good-bye, Coach.
506
00:19:21,398 --> 00:19:22,563
See you, man.
507
00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:24,197
- See you, Coach!
- Save the date! Bye!
508
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:25,463
Bye!
509
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,197
- Bye!
- Don't ever change, Coach.
510
00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:29,330
- See you at the wedding!
- He's gonna change.
511
00:19:29,331 --> 00:19:30,997
- Later!
- Bye!
512
00:19:30,998 --> 00:19:34,163
- See you, buddy!
- See you!
513
00:19:34,164 --> 00:19:37,297
Adios.
514
00:19:44,364 --> 00:19:47,297
- I think it's time.
- It's time.
515
00:19:51,498 --> 00:19:53,697
Clean break?
516
00:19:53,698 --> 00:19:55,564
Clean... break.
517
00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:59,863
Actually, do you mind talking
with me for, like, ten minutes?
518
00:19:59,983 --> 00:20:01,297
Cece and Schmidt are in my room.
519
00:20:01,298 --> 00:20:02,297
Oh, sure.
520
00:20:02,298 --> 00:20:04,597
Oh, Cece's crying.
521
00:20:04,598 --> 00:20:06,330
- Aw.
- Aw.
522
00:20:08,664 --> 00:20:11,130
I can't believe this is happening.
523
00:20:11,131 --> 00:20:13,030
It's everything that I've ever wanted.
524
00:20:13,031 --> 00:20:15,563
Okay, I know. Me, too.
525
00:20:15,564 --> 00:20:18,363
But... we can't have
sex if you keep crying.
526
00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:19,497
- I'm gonna stop.
- Great.
527
00:20:19,498 --> 00:20:20,663
- I'm gonna stop.
- Great!
528
00:20:20,664 --> 00:20:22,097
'Cause I get it. It gets in the way.
529
00:20:22,098 --> 00:20:23,764
Right. All right.
530
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,497
Okay.
531
00:20:30,498 --> 00:20:31,497
I know.
532
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:09,630
Well, these people were about to throw away
533
00:21:09,631 --> 00:21:11,063
a perfectly good mug.
534
00:21:11,064 --> 00:21:13,063
Full disclosure, it used to be a sex mug.
535
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,631
But now it's a cat mug.
536
00:21:16,998 --> 00:21:20,097
Nothing wrong with us.
537
00:21:38,318 --> 00:21:42,406
Synced and corrected by OussLP
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