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00:00:03,847 --> 00:00:05,906
Hey, Baxter. Oh.
2
00:00:05,908 --> 00:00:07,699
Uh, yeah, I won't bother
you if you're busy.
3
00:00:07,701 --> 00:00:09,701
Oh, you're not bothering
me. Come on in. What's up?
4
00:00:11,847 --> 00:00:13,638
Is this a trap?
5
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,656
Is a bucket of water gonna
fall on my head or something?
6
00:00:16,658 --> 00:00:19,659
No, no, no. I mean, you bother me a lot,
7
00:00:19,661 --> 00:00:20,795
but not today.
8
00:00:20,797 --> 00:00:22,330
As a matter of fact, for
the next couple weeks,
9
00:00:22,332 --> 00:00:24,998
it's happy Mike Baxter.
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Oh, that's right, it's
bass festival season.
11
00:00:28,556 --> 00:00:31,861
It's Big Ass Bass Festival.
12
00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:33,363
Show a little respect, you know.
13
00:00:33,365 --> 00:00:34,765
Christmastime can suck it.
14
00:00:34,767 --> 00:00:36,232
This is the most
wonderful time of the year.
15
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Yeah.
16
00:00:37,436 --> 00:00:39,202
You know, I actually can't wait.
17
00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:42,073
- I-I heard there's gonna be a beer garden this year.
- Yeah.
18
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It's gonna make the three-legged race
19
00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:45,675
a lot more fun to watch.
20
00:00:45,677 --> 00:00:48,395
And the lawn dart game.
I'll tell you what, huh?
21
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It's the 25th anniversary
of Ed and I doing this,
22
00:00:50,956 --> 00:00:52,048
so I'm pulling out all the stops.
23
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:54,117
Yeah, I bet Ed has some
crazy ideas cooked up, too.
24
00:00:54,119 --> 00:00:55,418
Ed always has crazy ideas,
25
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,787
but this time of year,
they work in perfectly.
26
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Nothing can beat what he did
for the grand finale last year.
27
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28
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Fireworks and a
performance by Air Supply.
29
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That's because Toto wasn't available.
30
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Yeah.
31
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Ironically, they were in Africa.
32
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Oh, I love that band.
I'm a total Toto-head.
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We were just talking about the festival,
34
00:01:16,274 --> 00:01:18,160
and we're both excited
about what your big surprise
35
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- is gonna be this time.
- It's bad news, Mikey.
36
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- Yeah?
- Yep.
37
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You're gonna have to host
the festival without me.
38
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I'm out.
39
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:27,087
Yeah. You know, your surprises aren't
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quite as fun as they used to be.
41
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
42
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All right, look, I'm not buying this.
43
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You're not coming to the festival?
44
00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:42,066
Yeah, yeah, Ed, I mean, who's
gonna pour the Bass-tinis?
45
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,001
Yeah.
46
00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:47,471
Pond. James Pond.
47
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:50,107
Netted, not stirred.
48
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I'm serious. I'm gonna
be away that weekend
49
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,310
with my lovely bride.
50
00:01:54,312 --> 00:01:56,946
Aw, what can I say? We're newlyweds.
51
00:01:56,948 --> 00:01:58,516
We're joined at the arthritic hips.
52
00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:02,534
Okay, well, you have a
wonderful day at work, my love.
53
00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,754
- Mmm...
- Okay.
54
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,488
It won't be wonderful
until I get back home
55
00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:06,523
to see you, my dear.
56
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:08,159
- Oh... ta!
- See you later, Bonnie.
57
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,760
Love your lovin'.
58
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,161
What do you mean you're
not coming to the festival?
59
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- What's the matter with you?
- Yeah, Ed.
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We all love our wives, but what could be
61
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,700
more important than the festival?
62
00:02:16,702 --> 00:02:18,101
Bonnie wants me to accompany her
63
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to the Bessler Art Museum
Annual Gala in Connecticut.
64
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,975
Oh, the Bessler Art Gallery?
Why didn't you say something?
65
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You hate art.
66
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,045
Now, come on now, easy, easy, now.
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Art is very important to Bonnie.
68
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,047
Well, art's very important
here in Colorado,
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- and bass fishing's like fine art.
- Yeah.
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00:02:33,313 --> 00:02:35,319
I once caught a fish by the nuke plant,
71
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,154
looked like a Picasso painting.
72
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Three eyes, gills on top of its head,
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and a thumb.
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And you ate it.
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00:02:45,153 --> 00:02:47,710
See, I'm-I'm gonna hate
missing our festival,
76
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but this is the kind of
choice that I didn't make
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with my other marriages,
78
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,170
and you know how well they turned out.
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All right. Can't argue with that.
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00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:57,207
- Thanks for understanding.
- Mm.
81
00:02:57,209 --> 00:02:59,475
And when Air Supply gets
here, have them dedicate
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00:02:59,477 --> 00:03:02,178
"Lost in Love" for Ed.
83
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:04,049
That's my jam.
84
00:03:05,217 --> 00:03:07,684
What do you mean "you
can't argue with that"?
85
00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:09,886
You'll fight anything.
86
00:03:09,888 --> 00:03:11,054
- No, I won't.
- Yes, you will.
87
00:03:11,056 --> 00:03:12,690
- No, I won't.
- I know what you're doing.
88
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:13,724
No, you don't.
89
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:14,924
No, you don't, no, you don't,
90
00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,694
but thanks for helping me warm up.
91
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,331
'Cause, yes, I will fight this.
92
00:03:21,699 --> 00:03:24,891
I am so excited I get to run
the Kids' Corral this year.
93
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Well, you're about to find out
that setting up fun and games
94
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:29,606
is not all fun and games.
95
00:03:29,608 --> 00:03:31,507
Yes, but, um, it doesn't matter
96
00:03:31,509 --> 00:03:33,293
because I am doing this for you.
97
00:03:33,295 --> 00:03:34,744
You've got my goddaughter in there,
98
00:03:34,746 --> 00:03:37,947
so I want you to go rest
before the big kapow!
99
00:03:37,949 --> 00:03:41,851
Yes, because birth is just
like Batman punching the Joker.
100
00:03:41,853 --> 00:03:44,355
Okay, Goldfish Pond.
101
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:47,090
You're gonna have to buy lots
of live goldfish for prizes.
102
00:03:47,092 --> 00:03:50,393
Don't be like Eve.
Remember to feed them.
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00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:52,296
Next, corn dogs.
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00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:55,531
Don't be like Eve.
Remember to cook them.
105
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,201
Are you paying attention?
106
00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,737
Yes, cook the goldfish and
put fish food on the corn dogs.
107
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,138
Mandy?
108
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,374
I am kidding. Look, I have got this.
109
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,726
I don't want you to give
this another thought.
110
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:06,076
- Now go home and rest.
- Okay.
111
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:08,879
Last thing. Face painting.
112
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,215
It is the most popular booth
and the reason that you will hate
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00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:14,384
children's cheeks for
the rest of your life.
114
00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:16,653
I know. It's so hard
to find a face painter.
115
00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:18,422
Oh, no, they're easy to find.
116
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,922
They're usually in their car smoking pot
117
00:04:19,924 --> 00:04:21,958
while they should be painting faces.
118
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:26,465
Well, Kris, I am way ahead of you. Jen!
119
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What do you think?
120
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,174
Ah, that's amazing. He
looks just like a tiger.
121
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,641
Oh, yeah, I feel like a tiger.
122
00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:39,977
I should be in a cage,
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00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,946
just pacing back and forth.
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It's great, uh, but how
long did that take you, Jen?
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I got it down to two and a half hours.
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That's not gonna work.
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You're gonna have to paint a face
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every three or four minutes.
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00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,958
Oh, like an assembly line?
130
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,198
- Exactly.
- I quit!
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00:04:59,931 --> 00:05:01,699
I am an artist.
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00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,436
You should hire gang
members to tag the children.
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00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:09,639
Okay, I will find someone.
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This is not your
problem, so you go home.
135
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- I've got this.
- Okay, okay.
136
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:16,716
- But if you need anything...
- I won't. Go home.
137
00:05:17,883 --> 00:05:19,783
Okay, I am getting a
little scared, Kyle.
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00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:21,651
Relax.
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00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:24,454
I'm not gonna maul you.
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00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:27,559
Although I could tear the
ass off an antelope right now.
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00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:34,230
Hey, is that my favorite bottle of wine?
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00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:36,566
I knew I liked you.
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00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:38,001
Yeah.
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00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:40,069
It's also your mother's
favorite bottle of wine,
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00:05:40,071 --> 00:05:43,463
so hands off of that.
146
00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:44,540
Still like me?
147
00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:47,143
No. Now I'm on the fence.
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00:05:47,145 --> 00:05:49,213
So, why are you giving her this gift?
149
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,181
What, uh... what do you want from her?
150
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,751
Maybe I just want her to know
how much she means to me.
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00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:57,388
Uh-huh. What do you want from her?
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00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,557
She's taking Ed to some
gallery opening in Connecticut
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00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:02,259
the same weekend as the bass festival.
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00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,216
Oh, yeah, yeah, the Bessler Museum.
155
00:06:04,218 --> 00:06:05,429
Yeah, she goes every year.
156
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:08,564
Look, galas are kind
of her natural habitat.
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00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:10,900
Well, that's great for
her, but she's making Ed go?
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- She's making him?
- Yeah.
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00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:14,871
She's made him love her so much
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that he thinks he actually wants to go.
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It's, like, diabolical.
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And the bottle of wine is
supposed to convince her
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00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,347
- that they should stay here instead?
- Exactly.
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00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,581
Right. And you really think
you can convince my mother
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00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:28,285
to give up Monet and
champagne for a... for an event
166
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:31,355
that includes a worm race?
167
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:32,855
We don't do the worm race anymore.
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00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:35,961
I had to shut it down.
The mob got involved.
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00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,228
You don't think I can pull this off?
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00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,598
I think she will see right through it.
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,400
Look, honey, you don't need the wine.
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00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:44,667
You're-you're a salesman.
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00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:47,537
Just-just sell her on the,
the importance of the festival.
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00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:48,939
You really think I can do this,
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00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,244
or do you just want that bottle of wine?
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00:06:53,612 --> 00:06:55,815
Honey, honey, I believe in you.
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00:06:55,817 --> 00:06:56,838
Yeah.
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00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,109
And I don't need the bag.
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00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:10,326
Hey. You wanted to see me, Mike?
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00:07:10,328 --> 00:07:11,828
My favorite mother-in-law.
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00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,997
Oh, darling. My favorite son-in-law.
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00:07:13,999 --> 00:07:16,333
And don't tell Vanessa's sister
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00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:17,837
or that idiot husband of hers.
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00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:21,638
Mum is the word, Mum.
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00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,239
Why don't you have a
seat? You know Chuck.
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00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:25,772
- Oh, Chuck, hi.
- Yeah. Nice to see you, Bonnie.
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00:07:25,774 --> 00:07:28,029
Although I must say I
miss seeing you with Ed,
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00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,780
you crazy lovebirds.
189
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,848
No, you don't.
190
00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:33,150
No, I don't.
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00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,650
I didn't think so.
192
00:07:34,652 --> 00:07:37,588
- So, what's going on here?
- Okay.
193
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,922
Well, we're doing our
final push for promotion
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00:07:39,924 --> 00:07:41,764
for our Big Ass Bass Festival.
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00:07:41,766 --> 00:07:43,116
Oh, what a charming name.
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00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:46,971
Oh, uh, would you like a T-shirt?
197
00:07:46,973 --> 00:07:49,799
Uh, I really wouldn't, thank you.
198
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:52,602
Okay, so here's what's going
on. Our radio sponsors are gonna
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00:07:52,604 --> 00:07:55,605
have us on the air to
reach out to people...
200
00:07:55,607 --> 00:07:56,773
that really don't understand
201
00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:58,674
what the B.A.B. Festival is all about.
202
00:07:58,676 --> 00:08:00,143
Oh, that stands for Big Ass...
203
00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:03,013
I was able to break the code...
204
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,948
You know, they may know the-the event,
205
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:06,716
but they don't know the
history of the event, right?
206
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:08,852
People like you, Bonnie.
People who are new to Colorado.
207
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:10,288
Right, right, so, would you mind
208
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,521
if we bounced a few ideas off you?
209
00:08:11,523 --> 00:08:12,723
No, not at all. I'm not...
210
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,725
I'm not sure that I'm
exactly the target, uh,
211
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:18,362
Fat Ass Bass, uh, audience...
212
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,466
Big Ass Bass.
213
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:27,069
Oh, Big. I stand corrected.
Forgive me, forgive me.
214
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:30,406
All right, I am, I am all
ready for the history lesson.
215
00:08:30,408 --> 00:08:32,775
You know, this is...
this is kind of like
216
00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:33,910
listening to public radio.
217
00:08:33,912 --> 00:08:36,380
No, no, it's not like public radio. No.
218
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:40,358
It's a totally... no. Hell no! No.
219
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,816
- All right, give it a shot.
- Okay, here we go.
220
00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:44,755
25 years ago,
221
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:49,095
Mike Baxter and Ed Alzate had a dream.
222
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:53,829
To create a festival
that would bring together
223
00:08:53,831 --> 00:08:57,333
their two great loves:
fishing and the family
224
00:08:57,335 --> 00:09:00,270
they were building at Outdoor Man.
225
00:09:00,272 --> 00:09:02,738
This is the story of that journey.
226
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,607
This is the story of
227
00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:09,545
the Big Ass Bass Festival.
228
00:09:09,547 --> 00:09:10,948
Yeah.
229
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,083
Man, are-are you hooked?
230
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,419
That's actually funny. Are you hooked?
231
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,753
- I'm on the edge of my seat.
- Right.
232
00:09:17,755 --> 00:09:19,389
But th-the history is
even more interesting
233
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,391
'cause it started with
just me and Ed and my family
234
00:09:21,393 --> 00:09:22,626
sitting on a cooler of beer
235
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,761
with other customers of the
store that liked to fish.
236
00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:26,929
- And-and this year we're drawing thousands.
- Right.
237
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,531
And we'll raise more than 200 grand
238
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,467
- for the Children's Hospital.
- We hope. 200 grand.
239
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,368
Oh, wow. I'm certainly reeled in.
240
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:33,937
Reeled in. Get it?
241
00:09:33,939 --> 00:09:38,034
Yeah, I do, and that was magnificent.
242
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,376
And next year the festival
will be even bigger.
243
00:09:40,378 --> 00:09:43,713
But the reality is... without Ed here,
244
00:09:43,715 --> 00:09:46,282
it's gonna just, uh, feel smaller.
245
00:09:46,284 --> 00:09:49,151
I see.
246
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,622
Well, Mike, I know why
you're sharing this with me,
247
00:09:52,624 --> 00:09:55,424
and you've... you've given
me something to think about.
248
00:09:55,426 --> 00:09:57,493
Bonnie, that's all I
wanted to do is just kind of
249
00:09:57,495 --> 00:09:59,829
open your mind a-a smidge
just to th-the world
250
00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:00,963
we live in around here.
251
00:10:00,965 --> 00:10:03,165
Uh, a new and exciting world.
252
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:07,072
The world of Big Ass Bass.
253
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:13,109
Chuck, you should do
voices for animated films.
254
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:14,477
Shouldn't he? Shouldn't he, Mike?
255
00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:16,979
You know, Bonnie, I've heard better.
256
00:10:20,518 --> 00:10:22,519
Hello? Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
257
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,920
I have been calling around to
try and find some ponies to rent,
258
00:10:24,922 --> 00:10:26,490
but no one seems to have any.
259
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:29,596
Can you please explain the
great pony shortage of 2020?
260
00:10:31,196 --> 00:10:34,968
Oh, I'm sorry, then don't
call yourself a pet shop!
261
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:39,001
Okay, Mandy, we're ready.
262
00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:41,170
Okay, not-not yet.
263
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,439
Not yet.
264
00:10:43,441 --> 00:10:46,446
And done. Four minutes flat.
265
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,284
Is she a bunny?
266
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:57,386
Or a kitty or a dog
267
00:10:57,388 --> 00:11:01,157
or anything in the
animal kingdom, really.
268
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:02,192
What do you think?
269
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,161
Well, she looks like she did it herself.
270
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,497
In the dark.
271
00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:09,534
With her foot.
272
00:11:12,537 --> 00:11:14,637
Well, it's kind of her own fault.
273
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:16,508
She doesn't have any
natural bunny features.
274
00:11:18,476 --> 00:11:20,577
Okay, I know I quit
being the face painter,
275
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:23,816
but now I'd like to withdraw my face.
276
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,049
Hey, everybody. Brought
over the tickets.
277
00:11:27,051 --> 00:11:30,152
And my special agave
syrup for the snow cones.
278
00:11:30,154 --> 00:11:31,320
Snow cones?
279
00:11:31,322 --> 00:11:33,656
You did rent the machine, didn't you?
280
00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:36,025
Uh, Ryan, of course she did.
281
00:11:36,027 --> 00:11:38,160
How much of an idiot
do you think she is?
282
00:11:38,162 --> 00:11:41,030
Yeah, come on, man.
283
00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:44,501
Good God.
284
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,502
That's not what the face painting's
285
00:11:46,504 --> 00:11:48,070
- gonna look like, right?
- Right.
286
00:11:48,072 --> 00:11:50,240
We're not even sure what
that's supposed to be.
287
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,078
Yeah, come on, man.
288
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:55,779
Shouldn't you go back to
your wife? I mean, how is she?
289
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,881
Uh, her back hurts,
her feet are swollen,
290
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,549
and, "Those aren't the
chocolate chip cookies
291
00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:02,021
I wanted, go back and
get me the right ones".
292
00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:07,623
So, uh, yeah. She's great.
293
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:11,562
Well, you go ahead and tell her
that I am way ahead of schedule
294
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,796
and not to worry.
295
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,535
Uh, yeah, she's not really
liking me talking right now.
296
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,871
- Can you believe that guy?
- Yes. It's like he's reading my mind.
297
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:24,274
Everything is going wrong.
I'm terrible at this.
298
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:26,912
Do you want me to paint
a smile on your face?
299
00:12:28,479 --> 00:12:31,580
Kyle? What kind of makeup is this?
300
00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:33,617
Uh, it's whatever they
had at the Dollar Mart.
301
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:36,221
It's not coming off and it burns.
302
00:12:37,455 --> 00:12:40,292
- It was a dollar.
- Oh, my God.
303
00:12:48,432 --> 00:12:50,000
- Hey.
- Hi.
304
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,734
You know, when we started
doing this festival,
305
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:52,902
this thing was a guppy.
306
00:12:54,672 --> 00:12:56,338
Ooh, honey, are you feeling okay?
307
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,642
'Cause you look like you
might have a haddock.
308
00:12:59,644 --> 00:13:01,745
I do now.
309
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:04,981
Hey, everybody. The boss is here.
310
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:06,683
- Look busy. Look busy.
- Wait a minute.
311
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:08,584
Does this mean you're back?
312
00:13:08,586 --> 00:13:11,621
You bet. I'm ready to
pound beers or nails.
313
00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:12,689
Used to do both.
314
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,458
Until this little piggy
went to the hospital.
315
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:19,335
Ooh. Ha-ha. Wow, you
convinced my mother to stay.
316
00:13:19,337 --> 00:13:20,697
You really are a good salesman.
317
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:23,766
It goes without saying, but,
uh, thanks for saying it.
318
00:13:23,768 --> 00:13:25,602
Well, it's not quite, Mikey.
319
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,304
See, Bonnie is still going to the gala,
320
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,972
but she knew it was
very important for me
321
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,506
to be here with my Outdoor Man family.
322
00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:32,843
Oh? She really must love you.
323
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,545
How diabolical.
324
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,546
She convinced me that our young marriage
325
00:13:37,548 --> 00:13:39,649
can endure a brief separation.
326
00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:41,541
Okay, well, whatever
you guys decide is fine.
327
00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:42,852
So I'll get you a hammer and a beer.
328
00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:44,286
Yeah, just one little thing
329
00:13:44,288 --> 00:13:45,722
that you can do for me, Mikey, please.
330
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,357
- Just name it.
- Yeah?
331
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,227
Convince my wife to stay.
332
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:53,532
I can't be apart from her. Okay?
333
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,140
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man,
334
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:06,809
talking about, well, Outdoor Man.
335
00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:08,844
When this store opened
almost 30 years ago,
336
00:14:08,846 --> 00:14:11,747
it was just a simple
bait and tackle shop.
337
00:14:11,749 --> 00:14:14,217
I was just a simple marketing director
338
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:17,053
with rugged good looks.
339
00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:20,490
This was a time when
we all had great hair.
340
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,258
I invited hunters to the store;
341
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:24,895
they'd say, "Hey, you
only have fish stuff".
342
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,564
And then the mullet was king.
343
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,955
I'd say, "Thanks, but come in.
344
00:14:28,957 --> 00:14:30,567
We've got something for everyone here".
345
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,669
When they did, they
found hunting jackets,
346
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,871
field gutting gloves,
and T-shirts that read,
347
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,741
"Hunters Do It in the Woods".
348
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:41,210
When they saw camo and
ammo, the hunters smiled.
349
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,514
When I invited campers
to the store, they'd say,
350
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:47,349
"Nah, you just have
fishing and hunting stuff".
351
00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:50,587
At that time the rattail was king.
352
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,454
I'd say, "Thanks, but come on by,
353
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,189
we've got something for everyone".
354
00:14:54,191 --> 00:14:57,426
When they did, they saw tents,
sleeping bags, and T-shirts
355
00:14:57,428 --> 00:15:01,197
that read, "Campers Do It in the Woods".
356
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:04,367
Oddly enough, they in fact do.
357
00:15:04,369 --> 00:15:07,036
Outdoor Man thrives on variety.
358
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,804
When I invited mountain-climbing vegans,
359
00:15:08,806 --> 00:15:12,442
I'd say, "We have boots
made of fake leather".
360
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:15,812
And now the man bun is king.
361
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,560
Outdoor Man is more than a store;
362
00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:18,714
Outdoor Man is a family.
363
00:15:18,716 --> 00:15:20,717
And families welcome all types of people
364
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:22,484
with all kinds of hairdos.
365
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,920
So I invite everyone to
come by our 25th Annual
366
00:15:24,922 --> 00:15:27,891
Big Bass Festival and meet our family.
367
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,659
You might just find you're one of us.
368
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:31,394
My buddy Terry Bradshaw will be there.
369
00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:34,535
He's had the same hairstyle since 1975.
370
00:15:37,268 --> 00:15:40,472
Chrome-Dome Baxter out.
371
00:15:43,341 --> 00:15:45,141
- Hi.
- Hi.
372
00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:47,810
Hi, you are supposed to
be at home taking it easy.
373
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:49,913
Well, when Ryan was
here, he got the idea
374
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,448
that things weren't going so great.
375
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:55,352
What? No, I am killing it.
376
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,820
So, Ryan was wrong.
377
00:15:57,822 --> 00:15:59,689
Just like he was wrong
about the cookies.
378
00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:02,592
Stupid Ryan!
379
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,460
Are these so hard to find?
380
00:16:04,462 --> 00:16:05,828
Okay.
381
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:08,264
Well, you sound disappointed
that things are going well.
382
00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:09,466
I find that odd.
383
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,101
No, it's nothing. It's just...
384
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,835
I don't want to tell you
385
00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:15,137
because it makes me sound
like a terrible person.
386
00:16:15,139 --> 00:16:18,343
Okay, well, now I must know.
387
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,944
I've just been sitting at home,
388
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,545
feeling swollen and uncomfortable
389
00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:24,481
and totally useless,
390
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,950
and I thought if you were struggling,
391
00:16:27,952 --> 00:16:31,654
then I could, you know,
step in and feel needed.
392
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:34,524
Okay. Well, good news:
393
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,496
I am totally blowing it.
394
00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:42,531
Don't toy with me, Mandy.
395
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:44,000
I'm fragile.
396
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,402
No, no, seriously, okay? Look at this.
397
00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:48,971
No ponies, no face
painter, I got nothing.
398
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:51,309
I was this close to
starting a fight club.
399
00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:55,545
Look, let's-let's face it, okay?
400
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:57,980
I am not the amazing you.
401
00:16:57,982 --> 00:17:00,083
I haven't always been
the amazing me, either.
402
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,683
What do you mean?
403
00:17:01,685 --> 00:17:04,347
Dad threatened to fire me
for the first couple of years.
404
00:17:04,349 --> 00:17:05,721
There were runaway ponies
405
00:17:05,723 --> 00:17:07,923
and dart injuries and...
406
00:17:07,925 --> 00:17:09,993
one year I forgot to rent
the snow cone machine.
407
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,995
Come on, man.
408
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:14,663
And there was a clown who...
409
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,498
well, legally, he
should have notified us
410
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,537
when he moved into the neighborhood.
411
00:17:19,837 --> 00:17:23,561
Okay, so... what do I do now?
412
00:17:23,563 --> 00:17:25,941
Well, we sit down and we work through
413
00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:27,110
all of this together.
414
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,530
- Like sisters.
- Thank you, sister.
415
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,916
But, um, next year, I suggest
that you get pregnant
416
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,450
and we pawn it off on Eve.
417
00:17:34,452 --> 00:17:36,955
Interesting.
418
00:17:39,221 --> 00:17:41,578
Hey, there.
419
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:42,968
Listen, if you're looking
for the good stuff,
420
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,327
it's marked in the bottle
"Not for you, Chuck".
421
00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:49,099
Just about to pour myself a Manhattan.
422
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,101
- Join me.
- Yeah, just a little one.
423
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,396
Okay. A splash. Here you go.
424
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:55,537
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
425
00:17:55,539 --> 00:17:59,042
- So, um, Ed said he's staying for the festival.
- Yeah.
426
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:00,743
I was hoping, uh, you would, too.
427
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:02,812
Aw. That's very kind of you,
428
00:18:02,814 --> 00:18:07,585
but, um, big butt fish festivals
are not my cup of tea.
429
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,878
That's what I used to say
about in-laws, until I met you.
430
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,156
- Oh.
- Not the, the big butt part, that was...
431
00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:17,127
So you must really love
that gala in Connecticut.
432
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,563
Oh, I wouldn't say love. I just, um...
433
00:18:20,565 --> 00:18:23,065
I fit in. You know?
434
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:26,068
Well, I think you could
probably fit in here.
435
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:29,015
Mmm. I don't think so, Mike.
436
00:18:29,017 --> 00:18:31,407
I'm more champagne and caviar
437
00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:36,145
and not "pin the tail on the walleye".
438
00:18:36,147 --> 00:18:38,180
You know, I think you
just might have invented
439
00:18:38,182 --> 00:18:40,449
a fun new game.
440
00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:42,752
We have caviar here, you
just have to dig it out
441
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:44,286
of the fish with your finger.
442
00:18:46,324 --> 00:18:47,990
I wouldn't have any purpose.
443
00:18:47,992 --> 00:18:50,160
I don't want to go and stand around
444
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:52,695
like, uh, Ed's trophy wife.
445
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:54,264
Nobody's calling you a
trophy wife around here.
446
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,502
I know, I'm trying to get it started.
447
00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:59,334
Look.
448
00:18:59,336 --> 00:19:01,036
Let's be honest.
449
00:19:01,038 --> 00:19:04,274
Somebody like me is gonna
stick out like a sore thumb
450
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,875
- at this festival.
- Really?
451
00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:09,478
What kind of people you think
come to a festival like this?
452
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,114
Oh, I don't know,
fishermen, hunters, uh,
453
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:14,383
people who like dirt?
454
00:19:14,385 --> 00:19:17,978
And then the mayor, policemen,
455
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:19,886
professors, janitors,
456
00:19:19,888 --> 00:19:22,599
and, I guess, people that like dirt.
457
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:23,892
Yeah, those people.
458
00:19:23,894 --> 00:19:25,628
What do you think all
these people had in common
459
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:26,895
before they came to the festival?
460
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:28,064
I don't know.
461
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,499
They all thought they would
have nothing in common.
462
00:19:30,501 --> 00:19:32,669
Look, I guarantee if
you give us a chance,
463
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,871
you might find that you do fit in here.
464
00:19:35,973 --> 00:19:38,933
That sounds nice... I mean, fitting in.
465
00:19:38,935 --> 00:19:40,237
Fitting in, l-listen.
466
00:19:40,239 --> 00:19:42,644
Why don't you come on downstairs
and meet some of the people
467
00:19:42,646 --> 00:19:44,367
putting together the, the festival,
468
00:19:44,369 --> 00:19:47,083
and I might find, um,
something for you to paint.
469
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:50,553
Oh. Well, I, I'm a
small-brush painter, though,
470
00:19:50,555 --> 00:19:51,888
I'm not a big-brush painter.
471
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:53,590
All the big-brush painting's been done,
472
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:56,092
but Mandy has a little
struggle right now
473
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,695
with the-with the fine art part of this.
474
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,163
Really? You mean, like still life?
475
00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:04,199
They rarely sit still.
476
00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:05,834
Come on down, and I'll show you.
477
00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:07,593
You might want to down
the rest of that Manhattan.
478
00:20:07,595 --> 00:20:08,640
I think you'll need it.
479
00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:22,504
Okay! Almost ready. Almost.
480
00:20:22,506 --> 00:20:24,328
Look at her. She's glowing.
481
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:25,455
Yeah.
482
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,724
If I haven't said thank
you yet, Mike, thanks.
483
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,258
You actually already have said that,
484
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:30,727
so next time you talk to your doctor,
485
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:31,969
you might want to mention this?
486
00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:37,633
All right. Prepare
to be wowed, everyone.
487
00:20:37,635 --> 00:20:39,201
Looks like you're having a ball.
488
00:20:39,203 --> 00:20:40,637
Oh, I am, I am.
489
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:44,707
Turns out I'm a Big Ass gal after all.
490
00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:46,584
Mom.
491
00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,379
All right. Now, first up,
492
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:52,881
we have a very
traditional piece... Kyle.
493
00:20:52,883 --> 00:20:55,250
Hey, wow.
494
00:20:55,252 --> 00:20:57,286
- Nice.
- Wow.
495
00:20:57,288 --> 00:20:59,255
Yeah, now I've been a
tiger and a leopard.
496
00:20:59,257 --> 00:21:02,225
- Yep.
- Guess I have the heart of a predator.
497
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:06,048
In some ways I've always known.
498
00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:10,967
And next, we have a tip
of the hat to surrealism.
499
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:12,968
Mandy.
500
00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:14,403
Oh.
501
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:16,171
Ooh.
502
00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:19,007
Yeah, I'm so wearing
this to the club tonight.
503
00:21:19,009 --> 00:21:21,244
- Yeah, you look amazing.
- Yeah.
504
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:23,514
- Yeah, what, uh, what is she?
- What is that?
505
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,281
- I'm an antelope.
- Oh, boy.
506
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,783
- Uh-oh.
- You...
507
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:29,622
Kyle? Kyle?!
508
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:34,731
Bonnie, for the kids,
let's just stay away
509
00:21:34,733 --> 00:21:37,195
from predator and prey.
510
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,534
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -