1 00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:13,633 - PHIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? 2 00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,967 I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH THAT HOT E.R. DOCTOR. 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,667 - I WAS AT HER HOUSE, ABOUT TO MAKE MY MOVE, 4 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:20,667 SHE GETS A CALL AND HAS TO GO INTO WORK. 5 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:24,967 TURNS OUT SOME JOGGER IN CENTRAL PARK GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. 6 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,567 WHY ME?! 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,833 WHY ME?! 8 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:32,400 IS THAT AVATAR? - MM-HMM. 9 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,767 - I LOVE THAT MOVIE. 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,300 - OKAY, NOBODY PANIC. 11 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,533 JUST GET WHATEVER YOU NEED TO GET THROUGH THE NIGHT AND LEAVE. 12 00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,533 - OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? 13 00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:40,667 I--IS THE BUILDING ON FIRE? 14 00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:43,900 - WORSE. MY MOTHER'S COMING. 15 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:46,767 HER FLIGHT TO ST. LOUIS GOT DIVERTED TO JFK, 16 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,767 AND SHE CAN'T GET OUT TILL TOMORROW. 17 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,133 - UH-HUH, UH, I'M SORRY. 18 00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:51,667 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 19 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,333 - THE PROBLEM IS SHE'S COMING TO STAY WITH ME... 20 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,167 AND MY FIANCé. 21 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,700 - YOU NO LONGER HAVE A FIANCé. 22 00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:01,267 - YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER ALREADY? 23 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,733 - [mocking] NO I HAVEN'T TOLD HER ALREADY. 24 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,367 SHE THINKS I STILL LIVE IN THIS APARTMENT WITH BRAD. 25 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,333 - HOLLY, YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM EIGHT MONTHS AGO. 26 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:11,567 HOW COULD YOU LIE ALL THIS TIME TO YOUR OWN MOTHER? 27 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,067 - DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. 28 00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,067 HER, I'M AFRAID OF. 29 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,233 YOU, I COULD SNAP LIKE A TWIG. 30 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:20,167 IT HASN'T BEEN EASY 31 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,633 TELLING MY MOTHER THAT MY FIANCé CHEATED ON ME 32 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,067 AND THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A WEDDING. 33 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:27,533 I MEAN, SHE WAS SO HAPPY I WAS FINALLY GETTING MARRIED. 34 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:29,067 BUT I'M GONNA TELL HER. 35 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,833 I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT MOMENT. 36 00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,367 IN THE MEANTIME, IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME 37 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,400 IF YOU GUYS WOULD JUST, FOR ONE NIGHT, MOVE ACROSS THE HALL 38 00:01:36,433 --> 00:01:38,733 TO MY APARTMENT, PLEASE. 39 00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:40,333 - OKAY. YOU GOT IT. - WHY NOT? 40 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,900 - YOU KNOW WHAT-- YOU KNOW WHAT? 41 00:01:41,933 --> 00:01:43,933 YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR US, SO IT'S THE LEAST WE COULD DO. 42 00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:46,200 - OH TH--I LOVE YOU GUYS. 43 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:49,900 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! 44 00:01:49,933 --> 00:01:51,100 PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GET OUT! 45 00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:54,200 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! 46 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,667 - OH, MY GOD, HURRY UP, YOU GUYS! 47 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,067 MY MOM'S CAB JUST PULLED UP. 48 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:12,133 HASKELL, IT'S ONLY ONE NIGHT. 49 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:13,500 WHY ARE YOU TAKING A BOWLING BALL? 50 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,933 - WELL, THE LAST NIGHT OF MY MARRIAGE, 51 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,933 I TOLD MY WIFE I WAS GOING BOWLING. 52 00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:21,567 AND SHE SCREAMED, "IT'S EITHER THAT BOWLING BALL OR ME." 53 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,600 I KEEP THIS AS A REMINDER THAT I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. 54 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,767 - OKAY, HOLLY, HERE'S A LIST OF WOMEN 55 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,367 WHO COULD CONCEIVABLY STOP BY. 56 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,600 - OH. - ALL RIGHT? 57 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:34,067 - IF IT'S KEIRA, I'M ACROSS THE HALL. 58 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:35,700 IF IT'S SUSAN, I MOVED. - OKAY. 59 00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:37,133 AND IF IT'S CRAZY SANDY, 60 00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:38,800 BOLT THE DOOR, CALL 911. 61 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:43,933 HOLLY, I--I'M SERIOUS, YOU BOLT THE DOOR, CALL 911. 62 00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:46,433 - ALL RIGHT. 63 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,067 - OKAY. 64 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,767 AH, THE EX-FIANCé, HUH? 65 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,867 - YEAH, UNTIL I TELL MY MOM, I WANT HER TO THINK 66 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,433 THAT BRAD AND I LIVE HERE AS A LOVING COUPLE. 67 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,333 DIE... 68 00:02:57,367 --> 00:02:59,400 YOU CHEATING... 69 00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:01,067 BASTARD. 70 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,833 - SO, YOU'RE GONNA TELL HER TONIGHT, HUH? 71 00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:04,667 - YEAH, I HAVE THIS PLAN. 72 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,067 SHE'S GONNA COME IN, I'M GOING TO OPEN UP A LITTLE WINE, 73 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,900 AND AS SOON AS SHE HITS THAT 2 1/2-GLASS SWEET SPOT, 74 00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:11,167 I'M GONNA LOWER THE BOOM. 75 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,767 - HOLLY, YOU KNOW IT WOULDN'T BE SO HARD 76 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,133 IF YOU HADN'T DECEIVED HER ALL THIS TIME. 77 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:17,167 - LIKE A TWIG, STUART. 78 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,733 [doorbell rings] - OH. 79 00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:27,400 OH, GOD. 80 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,867 [clears throat] 81 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,700 YOU'RE AN ADULT. YOU CAN DO THIS. 82 00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:32,767 YOU'RE AN ADULT. YOU CAN DO THIS. 83 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,733 YOU'RE AN ADULT. YOU CAN DO THIS. 84 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:38,067 HI, MOMMY! 85 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:40,067 - HELLO, DEAR. 86 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,500 OH, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU LIVE IN THIS CITY. 87 00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:43,633 I'VE BEEN HERE HALF AN HOUR. 88 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:47,433 I'VE SMELLED URINE TEN TIMES. 89 00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,300 WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU LOOK TIRED. 90 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,167 - UH, NO, I'M JUST EXCITED TO SEE YOU. 91 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,967 - ME TOO, HONEY. 92 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,567 SO WHERE'S BRAD? WHERE'S YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND? 93 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,067 - [nervous chuckle] 94 00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:58,733 - MY GOD, HOW LONG DID IT TAKE BEFORE I COULD FINALLY SAY THAT? 95 00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:01,067 I MEAN, REALLY, HOW LONG? 96 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:03,067 - LONG, MOM, LONG. 97 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:06,067 UNFORTUNATELY, BRAD IS UM, HE'S OUT OF TOWN ON BUSINESS. 98 00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:07,400 - WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. 99 00:04:07,433 --> 00:04:08,433 WHEN'S HE COMING BACK? 100 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,400 - WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING? 101 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,233 - TOMORROW MORNING. 102 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:14,133 - YOU'LL JUST MISS HIM. 103 00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:17,067 - WELL, I'M JUST THRILLED THERE'S A HIM. 104 00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:18,400 - AWW. 105 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:20,467 - TO BE HONEST, BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED, 106 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,733 THERE WERE NIGHTS YOUR FATHER AND I WONDERED IF ONE DAY 107 00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:26,767 WE WERE GOING TO MEET YOUR SPECIAL FRIEND BARB. 108 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:30,200 I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, HOLLY. 109 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:31,300 - HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! 110 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,533 HAVE A BIG OLD GLASS OF WINE, MOM. 111 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,067 - NONE FOR ME, THANKS. - WHAT? 112 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,767 WHEN DID YOU STOP DRINKING? - I DIDN'T STOP. 113 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,767 I'M JUST A LITTLE TIRED FROM THE FLIGHT. 114 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,267 - OH, MOM, PLEASE, COME ON. 115 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,833 HAVE A GLASS--MAYBE 2, 2 1/2, 116 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:44,967 - I'M FINE. 117 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,367 I'M GONNA GO FRESHEN UP. 118 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,700 BUT WHEN I GET BACK, I WANT TO HEAR 119 00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:49,233 ALL ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PLANS. 120 00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:51,067 - YEAH, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT OVER WINE. 121 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:53,833 - NO, I WANT TO BE CLEAR-HEADED WHEN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR WEDDING. 122 00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:55,100 THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. 123 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:58,067 WHO NEEDS WINE? 124 00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:01,567 - ME. 125 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,500 BARB'S LOVER. 126 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:06,933 - OH, MY GOD. - WHAT'S THE MATTER? 127 00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:09,067 - I'M SEARCHING FOR AVATAR... 128 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,133 SHE'S ONLY GOT BASIC CABLE. 129 00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:13,733 NO PREMIUM CHANNELS. 130 00:05:13,767 --> 00:05:15,467 NO WI-FI. 131 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,067 SHE'S LIVING LIKE AN ANIMAL! 132 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,333 WHAT'S THE SNACK SITUATION LIKE? 133 00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:25,133 - CARB-FREE, SUGAR-FREE AND GLUTEN-FREE! 134 00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:27,567 HER FOOD'S GOT NO FOOD! 135 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,767 - GUYS, COME ON. 136 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,167 WE DON'T NEED SNACKS OR TV, OKAY? 137 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,467 WHY DON'T WE JUST HANG OUT A LITTLE? 138 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,500 TALK ABOUT OUR LIVES, HMM? 139 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,767 I'LL GO FIRST. 140 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,800 - STREAMING AVATAR! - THANK YOU! 141 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,667 HOLD YOUR HANDS STEADY. I CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN. 142 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,067 - THEN--THEN SHOVE OVER. 143 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,967 - YOUR THUMBS ARE COVERING THE SC--COME ON, MAN. 144 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,267 - Y-YEAH. 145 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,100 - LET'S FACE IT. MOVIE NIGHT'S NOT HAPPENING. 146 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,867 I'M GONNA GO TO BED. - YEAH, ME TOO. 147 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,900 - YEAH, ME TOO. 148 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:05,067 - HOLD ON, THREE GUYS, ONE BEDROOM. 149 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,400 THAT'S NOT HAPPENING EITHER. 150 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,600 - WELL, I MEAN, WHAT ARE OUR CHOICES? 151 00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:09,867 BED, COUCH, FLOOR. 152 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,633 - WELL, THERE MUST BE SOME FAIR WAY TO DO THIS. 153 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,067 - YEAH, THERE MUST BE. 154 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:17,900 I'M GONNA GO SLEEP ON IT. 155 00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:19,433 - THE GUY IS A GAZELLE. 156 00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:21,467 - YES, HE IS. 157 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,700 SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA GO DOWN, HUH? 158 00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:28,133 FINE. 159 00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:32,233 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THE MAN WHO SLEEPS ON THE FLOOR. 160 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,100 HE HAS NOTHING TO LOSE. 161 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,333 NOTHING! 162 00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:39,667 - ALL RIGHT, ALL FRESHENED UP? 163 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,867 HOW ABOUT A GLASS OF WINE? 164 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,933 - WHAT'S WITH YOU AND WINE? 165 00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:47,967 THE TIME FOR HEAVY DRINKING IS AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED. 166 00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,567 - MOM, WE NEED TO TALK. - YES, WE DO. 167 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,733 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PLANS; SO WHERE ARE YOU? 168 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:56,067 - ABOUT THE WEDDING, UM, THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS-- 169 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,667 - YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS, HAVE YOU? 170 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,267 - NO, I HAVEN'T, AND THE REASON FOR THAT-- 171 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,567 - HONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME. 172 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,333 YOU'RE BUSY. YOU HAVE YOUR CAREER. 173 00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:05,700 - UH, NO, IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. 174 00:07:05,733 --> 00:07:07,067 - OF COURSE IT IS. 175 00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:09,367 THERE ARE INVITATIONS, A DATE, A PLACE, A DRESS. 176 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,767 IT'S OVERWHELMING. 177 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,467 AND I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE FOR YOU. 178 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,900 - OH, NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY. 179 00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:16,233 - NO, IT'S NOT. 180 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:17,833 YOUR SISTER JILL HAD MY HELP, 181 00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:19,633 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET. 182 00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:20,833 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 183 00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:22,900 I'M NOT LEAVING HERE UNTIL WE HAVE 184 00:07:22,933 --> 00:07:28,100 YOUR ENTIRE WEDDING COMPLETELY PLANNED. 185 00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,533 - [yawns] 186 00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:46,967 MORNING, BABY. 187 00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:54,233 BABY? 188 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,500 - GOOD MORNING,FUNNY FACEFUNNYFACE. 189 00:07:55,533 --> 00:07:57,533 - [screams] 190 00:07:57,567 --> 00:08:00,467 OH, HASKELL, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED? 191 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,833 - TAKE IT EASY, PRETTY BOY. 192 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:04,167 THE--THE FLOOR WAS KILLING MY BACK. 193 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,467 ANYWAY, I STAYED ON MY SIDE OF THE FENCE. 194 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:11,067 YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAD TO BE SLAPPED BACK SEVERAL TIMES. 195 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,833 [knock at door] 196 00:08:15,867 --> 00:08:17,833 - OH, HEY, EDEN. 197 00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:21,600 - SO...SHOULD I ASK HOW IS HOLLY OR HOW WAS HOLLY? 198 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,600 - IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. 199 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,933 - I MEAN IT, HASKELL, STAY OUT OF MY BED! 200 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,100 - OKAY, SOMETHING FREAKY IS GOING ON HERE. 201 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:44,767 AND I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHY I WASN'T INVITED. 202 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,133 - UH, IT JUST UH--HOLLY'S MOTHER SHOWED UP UNEXPECTEDLY, 203 00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:48,967 SO WE HAD TO SWAP APARTMENTS 204 00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,467 UNTIL SHE TELLS HER SHE'S NO LONGER ENGAGED. 205 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,800 - WOW. NO MATTER HOW OLD WE GET, 206 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,967 WE STILL WANT TO PLEASE OUR MOTHERS. 207 00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,067 I'M ALWAYS GONNA BE MY MOM'S LITTLE GIRL. 208 00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:02,167 EVEN THOUGH I DO LIKE, TOWER OVER HER. [laughs] 209 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,100 - GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. 210 00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:06,733 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF BREAKFAST TREATS YOU ALL LIKE, 211 00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:08,133 SO I JUST GOT AN ASSORTMENT. 212 00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:09,667 - OH, THAT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL. - YEAH! 213 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:12,300 - NO, NO, DON'T EAT THOSE! - WHAT? WHY NOT? 214 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:15,067 - IT'S HER BAD NEWS BASKET. 215 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,633 OKAY, SHE GAVE ME ONE JUST LIKE IT 216 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:20,300 WHEN SHE ASKED ME TO WORK NEW YEAR'S. 217 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,833 TAKE ONE BITE, AND YOU'RE HER BITCH. 218 00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:26,333 - I ALREADY TOOK A BITE. 219 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,467 - LOOK, DON'T LISTEN TO HER. EAT UP, ALL RIGHT? 220 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:35,200 I MEAN HAVE A SCON--[gasps] TRY A CRUMPET, THOSE ARE YUMMY! 221 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,800 - WAIT A MINUTE! 222 00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,600 YOU DIDN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER. - [sighs] 223 00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:43,467 - NOW WE'RE STUCK IN THE LAND TECHNOLOGY FORGOT. 224 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,833 - I TRIED. 225 00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:47,633 I WAS READY TO, AND THEN SHE WOULDN'T TAKE THE WINE. 226 00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:50,367 SHE WOULDN'T TAKE THE WINE! 227 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,800 SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GONNA STAY 228 00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:56,133 AND HELP ME PLAN MY ENTIRE WEDDING. 229 00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:58,500 AND THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS PROUD OF ME. 230 00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,800 AND THEN I-- - YOU JUST CRUMBLED. 231 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:03,033 - BIG TIME. 232 00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:05,133 ALL SHE EVER TALKS ABOUT IS MY SISTER JILL 233 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,067 AND HOW PERFECT HER LIFE IS 234 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,800 AND HOW PERFECT HER MARRIAGE IS AND... 235 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:13,300 [sighs] FOR ONCE, I WASN'T THE PATHETIC LOSER 236 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,300 SITTING AT HOME ALONE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT 237 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,400 WAITING FOR HER ASSISTANT TO BRING OVER FILES 238 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:19,567 SO SHE COULD BURY HERSELF IN WORK. 239 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,600 - WHERE SHOULD I PUT THESE FILES? 240 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,400 - BUT LISTEN, YOU GUYS. 241 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,300 I PROMISE, I'M GONNA TELL HER TODAY AT LUNCH. 242 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,767 - OKAY, YOU BETTER. 243 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,500 'CAUSE I'M NOT SLEEPING HERE WITH THE NIGHT CRAWLER. 244 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:37,133 - OH, THE NIGHT CRAWLER, HUH? 245 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:40,533 WELL, I WAS GOING TO LET IT GO, BUT... 246 00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:42,567 YOU LICKED MY EAR. 247 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,867 IT TICKLED. [laughs] 248 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:52,300 both: [gasp] 249 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,867 - WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 250 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,133 I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING OUT TO LUNCH. 251 00:10:55,167 --> 00:10:57,267 - I COULDN'T WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE. 252 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,833 I'VE DREAMT ABOUT SEEING YOU IN YOUR BRIDAL GOWN 253 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,433 EVER SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL. 254 00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:05,667 WELL, YOU WERE NEVER REALLY LITTLE BUT YOU KNOW, YOUNG. 255 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:09,567 - HI, I'M COLLEEN, YOUR BRIDAL CONSULTANT. 256 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,867 OH, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS. 257 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,533 - WELL, LET'S NOT START BRAIDING EACH OTHER'S HAIR JUST YET. 258 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,067 - OKAY, TIME TO TRY DRESSES. 259 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,133 - OH, NOT ME, RIGHT? 260 00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:23,133 NO, NO--DRESSES NO--OH, MY GOD. 261 00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:24,933 NO, MOM, THIS IS SO CRAZY--WE NEED TO TALK. 262 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,567 - AND WE WILL. JUST TRY ON ONE DRESS, 263 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,067 AND WE'LL TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 264 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,300 - THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW 265 00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,900 IS TRY ON A WEDDING DRESS. 266 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,900 - I HAD SUCH FUN DOING THIS WITH YOUR SISTER. 267 00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:36,933 BUT I KEEP FORGETTING... YOU'RE NOT JILL. 268 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,767 - GIVE ME THE DAMN DRESS. 269 00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:47,733 - IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE, SWEETHEART? 270 00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:51,800 - OH, GOD, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STRAPS AND HOOKS AND ZIPPERS? 271 00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:55,067 WHAT IS THIS THING? OH, THAT'S WHERE MY BOOBS GO. 272 00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:57,500 - COME ON OUT ALREADY, HONEY. 273 00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,400 WE JUST WANT TO GET AN IDEA. 274 00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:02,500 - OKAY, FINE. 275 00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:06,600 - [tearing up] HOLLY... 276 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:09,767 - WHAT, AM I FALLING OUT SOMEWHERE? 277 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,133 - YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL. 278 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,733 - REALLY? 279 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:17,667 - LOOK FOR YOURSELF. 280 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,600 - [gasps] 281 00:12:20,633 --> 00:12:23,900 I DO. 282 00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:27,300 I'M A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE. 283 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:30,333 AND I'M GETTING MARRIED. 284 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,333 - OH, PERFECT, SHE'S HERE. GUYS, WE'RE OUT OF HERE! 285 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,900 - LOOK WHAT I HAVE. 286 00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:43,633 all: [angry moans] 287 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,367 - NO! 288 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,333 NOT ANOTHER BASKET. 289 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,300 FANCY MEAT'S IN THERE. 290 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,500 - YEAH, AND ENGLISH BISCUITS AND FRENCH CHEESES. 291 00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:53,300 - OH, NO...TRUFFLES! 292 00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:56,667 WE'RE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE. 293 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,100 - YOU DIDN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER, DID YOU? 294 00:12:58,133 --> 00:13:00,233 - I WAS GONNA, BUT YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME 295 00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:03,233 IN A WEDDING DRESS. 296 00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:06,333 - WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN A WEDDING DRESS? 297 00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:10,667 - HAVING THE MOST MAGICAL DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 298 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,767 THEY ASSIGN A SPECIAL PERSON JUST TO YOU. 299 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:17,500 MINE WAS COLLEEN. WE'RE BEST GIRLFRIENDS NOW. 300 00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:20,233 OH, AND THEY FIT YOU IN THE BRIDAL SHOP. 301 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,667 I'M A SIZE FOUR. 302 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:24,667 A SIZE FOUR! 303 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,133 MY MOM SAID I WAS GONNA MAKE 304 00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:30,900 AN EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE THAN MY SISTER. 305 00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:32,933 AND THEN AFTERWARDS, WE HAD LUNCH 306 00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:37,300 AND WE TALKED AND WE LAUGHED AND WE GIGGLED. 307 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:41,067 I'VE NEVER GIGGLED WITH MY MOM BEFORE. 308 00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:43,800 - LISTEN, HOLLY, UNLESS THERE'S A LITTLE GROOM IN THIS BASKET, 309 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:47,233 THIS WEDDING AIN'T HAPPENING. 310 00:13:47,267 --> 00:13:48,333 - I KNOW. 311 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,067 I KNOW. 312 00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,733 BUT I'M POWERLESS. 313 00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:52,867 I NEED HELP. 314 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,967 I NEED A BRIDAL INTERVENTION. 315 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:58,667 - DON'T WORRY. WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU, OKAY? 316 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,067 WE WILL COME OVER FOR DRINKS 317 00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:02,067 AND YOU'LL FIND THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL HER, 318 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:05,167 AND WE'LL BE THERE TO BACK YOU UP. 319 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,167 - REALLY, YOU GUYS WOULD DO THAT FOR ME? 320 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,800 - YOU'VE DONE A LOT FOR US. 321 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,267 WE'LL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS. 322 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,467 - THANKS. - AND WHEN YOU RETURN 323 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,700 TO YOUR FORLORN LITTLE EXISTENCE, 324 00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:19,067 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET A PREMIUM CABLE PACKAGE. 325 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:25,567 - HURRY UP, MOM. THE GUYS ARE HERE. 326 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,567 HI. 327 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,333 MOM, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET PHIL, STUART, AND HASKELL. 328 00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,233 GUYS, THIS IS MY MOTHER, MARJORIE. 329 00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:37,567 - NICE PLACE YOU GOT HERE. 330 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,400 SWEET! 331 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,400 - HOLLY, UH... 332 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:46,867 YOU DIDN'T TELL US YOU HAVE SUCH A HOT MOM. 333 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:49,700 - OH, ISN'T THAT NICE? - [laughs] 334 00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:52,100 YOU MUST BE THE CHARMER OF THE GROUP. 335 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,800 THE LADIES MUST LOVE YOU. 336 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:57,133 - I DO ALL RIGHT. 337 00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,267 - I BET YOU DO MORE THAN ALL RIGHT. 338 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:04,800 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LET'S STOP, STOP. 339 00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:07,367 - A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, MA'AM. 340 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,900 YOUR DAUGHTER HELPED ME THROUGH A VERY DIFFICULT TIME. 341 00:15:09,933 --> 00:15:11,267 SHE'S A WONDERFUL WOMAN. 342 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:12,833 - OH, YOU'RE A POLITE YOUNG MAN. 343 00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,667 HOLLY, IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY GETTING MARRIED, 344 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,667 I'D SAY GRAB THIS ONE. 345 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,633 - AW. 346 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,333 - HE WON'T CURL YOUR TOES, 347 00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:21,667 BUT HE'D BE THERE FOR THE LONG RUN. 348 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:27,667 - MOM! 349 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:29,300 - OH! 350 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:32,233 THEY KNOW I'M JUST HAVING FUN. 351 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,233 - LOOK, MOM, I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE HERE TO MEET 352 00:15:39,267 --> 00:15:41,333 THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN MY LIFE. 353 00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:44,833 - WELL, AREN'T YOU FORGETTING ONE? 354 00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:48,100 THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE? 355 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:49,833 BRAD? - BRAD! 356 00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:51,967 BRAD, OF COURSE. 357 00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:55,100 - OH, YOU GUYS MUST KNOW MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW. 358 00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:57,800 - BRAD, RIGHT, BRAD. 359 00:15:57,833 --> 00:16:01,533 - I FIND HIM A LITTLE DISTANT. 360 00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:03,933 - WELL, I THINK WE JUST ELIMINATED YOU 361 00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,167 AS THE BEST MAN AT THE WEDDING. 362 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,067 [laughter] 363 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,167 - AH-HAH. 364 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,733 - SPEAKING OF WHICH, 365 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,833 HOLLY, HAVE YOU DECIDED ON YOUR MAID OF HONOR? 366 00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:15,333 - NO, I HAVEN'T. 367 00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:17,967 AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 368 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:21,267 RIGHT AFTER I'VE CHECKED ON THE HORS D'OEUVRES. 369 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,767 - JUST, UH, JUST FOR THE RECORD, 370 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,767 MY WIFE CONSIDERED ME A VERY CAPABLE LOVER. 371 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:38,433 I'LL GO CHECK ON THE HORS D'OEUVRES. 372 00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:40,167 - I CAN'T DO IT. 373 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,800 I CAN'T BREAK HER HEART. 374 00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:43,400 THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY OUT. 375 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:47,433 STUART, PLEASE MARRY ME. 376 00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:49,600 - HOLLY, UP, UP, COME ON, GET UP. 377 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,800 - OW. 378 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,967 I JUST CAN'T GET THE WORDS OUT. - SURE YOU CAN. 379 00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,367 LOOK, JUST--HERE, PRACTICE ON ME. 380 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,067 OKAY, JUST PRETEND I'M YOUR MOTHER. 381 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,067 SAY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, GO AHEAD. 382 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,267 - OKAY, MOM? - YES, SWEETIE? 383 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,800 - I CAUGHT BRAD CHEATING ON ME, 384 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,067 AND THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A WEDDING. 385 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:04,467 - OH, NO. AND SOMEHOW 386 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:06,733 I MADE YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU COULDN'T TELL ME? 387 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:09,567 I'M SO SORRY. 388 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,400 - SHE WOULD NEVER DO IT LIKE THAT. 389 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:12,800 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, SIT DOWN. 390 00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:14,567 IF WE'RE GONNA DO IT, LET'S DO IT RIGHT, OKAY? 391 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,433 YOU BE ME. GO. - OKAY. 392 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,900 MOM, THERE ISN'T GONNA BE A WEDDING. 393 00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:19,333 I CAUGHT BRAD CHEATING ON ME. 394 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:21,933 - WHAT DID YOU DO?! 395 00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:24,133 YOU DROVE HIM AWAY, DIDN'T YOU? 396 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:25,600 OH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. 397 00:17:25,633 --> 00:17:28,800 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP. 398 00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:30,200 OH, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW. 399 00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:31,633 YOU'VE BROKEN MY HEART! 400 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,267 - IT'S OKAY, MOM, I'M--I'LL FIX IT. 401 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,967 I'LL GET HIM BACK, IT'S-- - SEE, NOT SO EASY, IS IT? 402 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,600 - I--I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE SCREWED. 403 00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:43,567 - YEAH, I MEAN, HOW AM I GONNA TELL THAT WOMAN 404 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,600 THAT I CAUGHT MY FIANCé CHEATING ON ME EIGHT MONTHS AGO, 405 00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:46,733 AND THERE'S NO WEDDING? 406 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:47,967 I MEAN... 407 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,633 - YOU JUST DID. 408 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:51,933 - SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T SHE? 409 00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:54,733 - YEAH. 410 00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:56,767 - MOM... 411 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,100 [sighs] 412 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,867 - LOOK, HOLLY, JUST GO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER. 413 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,500 THE WORST PART'S OVER. 414 00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:14,267 - OH, NO, THE WORST PART HAS JUST BEGUN. 415 00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:19,267 MOM? 416 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,367 ARE YOU OKAY? 417 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,800 OH, MOM, SAY SOMETHING. 418 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,200 PLEASE? 419 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,633 - EIGHT MONTHS. 420 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,067 YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME FOR EIGHT MONTHS. 421 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,267 [clunk] 422 00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,267 EVERY TIME WE TALKED ON THE PHONE. 423 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,067 EVERY TIME I BROUGHT UP BRAD AND THE WEDDING, 424 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,433 IT WAS ALL A LIE. 425 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,900 WE WENT TO A BRIDAL SHOP. 426 00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:43,667 YOU PICKED OUT A WEDDING DRESS. 427 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,133 AND IT WAS ALL A LIE. 428 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,767 WHAT DID I DO? 429 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,733 WHAT KIND OF MOTHER HAVE I BEEN 430 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:54,500 TO MAKE YOU FEEL YOU COULDN'T TELL ME. 431 00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:03,067 HONEY, I AM SO SORRY. 432 00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:09,700 - REALLY? YOU'RE SORRY? 433 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,267 - WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO SAY? 434 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:14,433 - SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 435 00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,100 - I-I-I DON'T GET IT. 436 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:19,300 YOUR SISTER TELLS ME EVERYTHING. 437 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:20,533 - THAT'S IT. 438 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:21,967 THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 439 00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:24,567 IT'S JILL. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT JILL. 440 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,467 HOW JILL LEADS THE PERFECT LIFE. 441 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,933 - IT'S NOT THAT. 442 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:32,767 JILL'S NOT PERFECT. SHE'S JUST...MARRIED. 443 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,900 I--I GET MARRIED. 444 00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:35,900 I DON'T GET-- 445 00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:37,833 - ME. 446 00:19:37,867 --> 00:19:39,233 YOU DON'T GET ME. 447 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:43,933 - NO, HONEY, YOU KNOW I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 448 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:47,433 I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 449 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,633 I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE ALONE. 450 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,400 - MOM, I AM HAPPY, OKAY? 451 00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:53,833 AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M EVER GONNA GET MARRIED. 452 00:19:53,867 --> 00:19:56,600 BUT, I'M NOT ALONE. 453 00:19:56,633 --> 00:20:00,767 I'VE GOT THOSE THREE GUYS IN THE KITCHEN. 454 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,467 TRUST ME, THEY'RE A LOT BETTER FOR ME THAN BRAD WAS. 455 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,633 - UGH, THAT BRAD MAKES ME SICK. 456 00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:07,700 TO THINK YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH 457 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,900 THE PAIN OF THAT ALL BY YOURSELF. 458 00:20:09,933 --> 00:20:11,633 - IT BROKE MY HEART. 459 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:15,267 - I KNOW. 460 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,967 KNOW WHAT BREAKS MY HEART? 461 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:22,667 YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE TO DO THIS. 462 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,767 COME ON. 463 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,000 - CAN WE COME OUT NOW? 464 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,867 - TIGHTER, MOMMY. 465 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:42,900 MMM.