1 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,233 - STUART! COME ON, MAN. 2 00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:14,967 YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR, LIKE, 45 MINUTES. 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,200 WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG? 4 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,500 - ALMOST THERE. 5 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:19,333 JUST DECIDING ON THE RIGHT SHOES TO GO WITH THE OUTFIT. 6 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,933 - BUDDY, WE'RE GOING TO THE BAR TO MEET WOMEN, 7 00:00:21,967 --> 00:00:24,000 NOT TURN INTO THEM. 8 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:26,300 - HI. 9 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:29,433 - [chuckles] HEY, SOMEBODY'S ON THE HUNT. 10 00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:31,500 - I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE IN MONTHS. 11 00:00:31,533 --> 00:00:34,867 THIS KITTY NEEDS TO PROWL. 12 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:35,867 SO WHAT'S THE HOLD UP? 13 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,167 - STUART. 14 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,033 HE'S TRYING TO FIND SHOES TO MATCH HIS PURSE. 15 00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:42,900 - LISTEN, PHIL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING HIM TAG ALONG. 16 00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:45,200 YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST GETTING BACK IN THE GAME. 17 00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,433 SO TRY TO BE PATIENT WITH HIM, OKAY? 18 00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:49,967 HEY, PRINCESS, LET'S SHAKE IT! 19 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,867 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE IN A HURRY, UH, YOU CAN GO AHEAD. 20 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:56,267 - OH, NO WAY. I NEED YOU GUYS. 21 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,433 THERE'S NOTHING MORE PATHETIC THAN THE SOLO WALK-IN. 22 00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:00,600 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE SAYING 23 00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:02,667 "I'M JUST HERE TO DRINK AND MEET A MAN," 24 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:06,200 AND I DON'T LIKE TO TIP MY HAND THAT EARLY. 25 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,667 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO GET SOME LADIES. 26 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:14,967 SOME LOVELY LADIES, SOME LUSCIOUS LADIES. 27 00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:18,067 - MAYBE THE SOLO WALK-IN WOULDN'T BE SO BAD. 28 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:20,467 - ALL RIGHT, EASY, EASY. 29 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,933 A LITTLE LEFT, A LITTLE LEFT. 30 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:24,567 ANGLE IT, ANGLE IT, ANGLE IT, ANGLE IT! 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,067 OKAY, FELLAS. 32 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,367 [door shuts] 33 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,400 - UM...I'LL GO FIRST. 34 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:32,267 HASKELL, WHAT'S WITH THE COFFIN? 35 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,867 - WELL, I WAS TAKING MY AFTER DINNER CONSTITUTIONAL 36 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:37,067 WHEN THIS GUY WALKS UP TO ME AND HE SAYS, 37 00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:39,067 "HEY, WANT TO BUY A COFFIN? 38 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:42,067 IT'S IN MY VAN IN THE ALLEY." 39 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:44,333 SO BEING A STREET-SMART NEW YORKER, I SAID, 40 00:01:44,367 --> 00:01:47,067 "SURE." 41 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,067 - HASKELL, YOU CAN'T KEEP A COFFIN IN THE APARTMENT. 42 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,200 IT'S WEIRD. 43 00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:53,733 - WHY? WE LET YOU IN. 44 00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:56,667 TRUST ME, IT WON'T BE HERE LONG. 45 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,767 I'LL PUT UP SOME POSTERS IN THE BUILDING, 46 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,567 AND SOMEONE WILL GRAB IT. 47 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,067 IN FACT, I JUST SAW OLD MRS. SNYDER IN THE LOBBY, 48 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:07,733 LOOKING PARTICULARLY CREAKY. 49 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:13,400 IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS GIVING DEATH A PIGGYBACK RIDE. 50 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:16,400 [upbeat pop music] 51 00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:21,367 * 52 00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,700 - AH, WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE WALK-IN, BOYS. 53 00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:30,800 NOW MAMA NEEDS TO FLY SOLO. 54 00:02:30,833 --> 00:02:34,400 - ALL RIGHT, I FEEL LIKE GETTING CRAZY TONIGHT. 55 00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:37,067 AH, WHAT'S IN A "POMERITA"? 56 00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,300 - ONE SHOT OF TEQUILA, 57 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,900 NO SHOT OF GETTING A WOMAN. 58 00:02:41,933 --> 00:02:44,300 BARKEEP, TWO BEERS PLEASE. 59 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:48,067 HEY--OH, HEY. - HI. 60 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,100 - HOW WE DOING OVER HERE? 61 00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:50,467 - WE'RE DOING ALL RIGHT. 62 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,567 - YEAH, WELL, MAYBE WE COULD DO BETTER THAN ALL RIGHT. 63 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,133 YEAH, MY NAME IS PHILLIP, THIS HERE'S MY FRIEND-- 64 00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:58,367 - HI, DR. STUART GARDNER, DDS. 65 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,533 I'M A DENTIST AND I'M DIVORCED. 66 00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:04,133 ALTHOUGH THE DDS STANDS FOR "DENTIST," NOT "DIVORCED." 67 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,933 ALTHOUGH IT COULD STAND FOR "DIVORCED DENTIST STUART," 68 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:08,767 THAT JUST OCCURRED TO ME. 69 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,300 - WOW. 70 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:19,067 IF I EVER FEEL LIKE I'M HAVING TOO MUCH SEX, 71 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,800 YOU'RE MY WINGMAN. 72 00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:24,600 STUART, ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET THIS RIGHT 73 00:03:24,633 --> 00:03:26,267 IS IF YOU DO IT ON YOUR OWN, OKAY? 74 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,867 SO...FLY, BABY BIRD. 75 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:30,100 FLY AWAY FROM THE NEST. 76 00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:31,200 - YEAH, BUT-- - YEAH, YEAH. 77 00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:32,333 FLY, FLY, FLY, BE FREE. 78 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,867 BE FREE. 79 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:36,167 - STUART. - HM? 80 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,867 - STUART, OKAY. [clears throat] 81 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:42,233 SO THE REALLY CUTE GUY THAT JUST MOVED INTO OUR BUILDING 82 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:43,833 IS SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE. 83 00:03:43,867 --> 00:03:45,767 NO, DON'T LOOK! 84 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,067 I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MEET HIM. 85 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:50,633 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO UP AND SAY "HI, I'M HOLLY"? 86 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:53,933 - THE WORLD'S JUST RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES WITH YOU, 87 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,600 ISN'T IT, STUART? 88 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,833 HERE'S THE PLAN, OKAY? 89 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:01,933 YOU ARE GOING TO PRETEND TO HARASS ME. 90 00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:04,967 AND THEN I'LL PROTEST AND SIT AT HIS TABLE FOR PROTECTION. 91 00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:06,133 COME ON, IT'LL WORK. 92 00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:07,300 LET'S GO, COME ON. 93 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:10,667 - OKAY, YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 94 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,767 EXCUSE ME, MISS, IF YOU'RE FREE FOR DINNER-- 95 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,400 - GET YOUR HAND OFF MY ASS, YOU FREAK! 96 00:04:17,433 --> 00:04:20,200 CAN I SIT HERE? THIS GUY'S BEEN BOTHERING ME ALL NIGHT. 97 00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:22,267 - SURE. 98 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:25,267 HI, I'M JASON. - HEY, I'M HOLLY. 99 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:27,467 - DON'T WE LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING? 100 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,400 - WE DO? 101 00:04:30,433 --> 00:04:32,233 TALK ABOUT FATE. 102 00:04:32,267 --> 00:04:34,133 - OR JUST GOOD LUCK. - YEAH. 103 00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:37,267 SO, UM, WHEN DID YOU AND YOUR WIFE MOVE IN? 104 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,467 - OH, A COUPLE WEEKS AGO, AND I'M NOT MARRIED. 105 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,933 - OH, MY GOD. 106 00:04:41,967 --> 00:04:46,667 I'M NOT-- [gagging] 107 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,133 - YOU OKAY? 108 00:04:48,167 --> 00:04:50,333 - I-IT'S JUST A POPCORN KERNEL WENT DOWN THE-- 109 00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:56,167 [gagging sounds] 110 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,133 - CAN I GET YOU A GLASS OF WATER? 111 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,300 - I'M FINE, I'M FINE. - YEAH? 112 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,167 - JUST TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF. 113 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,267 - OKAY. 114 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,367 LET'S SEE, UM... I'M AN ARCHITECT. 115 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,400 - OH, MY GOD, I'M SUCH A BIG FAN OF BUILDINGS. 116 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,900 [choking] 117 00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:16,867 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE GOT AN EARLY MORNING TOMORROW. 118 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,433 I HOPE WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AROUND THE BUILDING. 119 00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,300 REALLY SORRY. OKAY. 120 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:23,600 - OH, MY GOD, IT JUST WENT DOWN. 121 00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:26,333 WAIT! 122 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:34,600 - SO... [chuckling] 123 00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,100 I GET IT. YOU'RE INTO ME. 124 00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:38,867 I'M INTO YOU. 125 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,833 I THINK WE'RE SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE. 126 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:47,267 - [speaks Serbian] 127 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:54,467 - I'M SORRY, WHAT? 128 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,500 - [speaking Serbian] 129 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:03,900 - [replying in Serbian] 130 00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:05,933 - [laughs] 131 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:13,300 [speaking Serbian] 132 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:21,500 - YOU SPEAK FOREIGN HOT GIRL? 133 00:06:21,533 --> 00:06:22,867 - SERBIAN. - OH. 134 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,900 - AND YES, I-I HAVE A LOT OF SERB PATIENTS. 135 00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:25,900 I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP MY PRACTICE 136 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:26,900 IF I LEARNED THE LANGUAGE. 137 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,267 - [speaking Serbian] 138 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:31,100 - [replying in Serbian] 139 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:32,233 SEE YOU LATER, PHIL. 140 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,667 - OH, HEY! [laughing] 141 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:39,400 STUART, BUDDY, WHAT'S THE RUSH? 142 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,867 - WELL, I COULD HELP YOU WITH THE LANGUAGE, 143 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,400 BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN TO DO THIS RIGHT 144 00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:44,067 IS IF YOU FLY, BABY BIRD, FLY. 145 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:47,700 - OH, COME ON, MAN, LOOK. LOOK, LOOK, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 146 00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:49,967 LISTEN, MAN, HELP ME OUT WITH THIS, PLEASE? 147 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:52,167 - ALL RIGHT. - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 148 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,300 WHAT'S HER NAME? - TATIANA. 149 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,300 - WHOO! 150 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,633 EVEN HER NAME IS HOT. 151 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,867 WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND SIT DOWN? 152 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:06,467 AND TELL TATIANA SHE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. 153 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,567 [conversing in Serbian] 154 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,933 - SHE SAYS YOU'RE SWEET AND YOU HAVE A SEXY SMILE. 155 00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:18,667 - YEAH. 156 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:21,133 - UH, OR SHE SAID YOU HAVE TOO MANY TEETH. 157 00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:24,167 I'M STILL GETTING USED TO THE ACCENT. 158 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:32,067 - UH, YEAH, WELL, UH, ASK HER 159 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,267 WHAT'S SHE DOING IN NEW YORK. 160 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:37,967 [conversing in Serbian] 161 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,933 - SHE'S A LINGERIE MODEL. 162 00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:45,067 - POW! [grunting] 163 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,767 ALL RIGHT, UH... 164 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,300 TELL HER IT'S AWFULLY NOISY IN HERE. 165 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,967 UH, WHY DOESN'T SHE COME UP TO THE APARTMENT FOR A DRINK? 166 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,233 - UH, THAT'S KIND OF QUICK, ISN'T IT, PHIL? I MEAN-- 167 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,667 - STUART, NOT IN MY WORLD. JUST SAY IT. 168 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,400 - YOU'RE GOING TO SCARE HER OFF IF-- 169 00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:01,833 - PLEASE? JUST SAY IT. 170 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:07,867 [conversing in Serbian] 171 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,300 - SHE BOUGHT IT. 172 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,267 WOW, I JUST PICKED UP A LINGERIE MODEL. 173 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,767 - YEAH. - YEAH, HA-HA! 174 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,300 - CONGRATULATIONS, I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF YOU GET LUCKY. 175 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,367 COME ON. 176 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:31,067 - [humming vigorously] 177 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,133 A BEAUTY, AIN'T IT? 178 00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:34,567 - BYE-BYE. - OH, NO! 179 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,200 NO, NO, NO. 180 00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:38,833 NO, NO, STAY, STAY. 181 00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:40,400 HASKELL, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT THING. 182 00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:43,600 IT'S A MOOD KILLER. 183 00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:47,067 - THERE. NOW IT'S DECOR. 184 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:50,567 - SO HERE... 185 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,100 COME ON IN. 186 00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:56,800 [loudly] HAVE A SEAT. 187 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:58,400 HELLO. 188 00:08:58,433 --> 00:09:00,800 - [speaking Serbian] 189 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:04,167 - I'M SORRY, WHAT? 190 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,333 - [speaking Serbian] 191 00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:10,267 [popping sound] 192 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,500 - OH! I GET IT. 193 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:14,133 YOU WANT CHAMPAGNE. CHAMPAGNE. 194 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,233 - DA! DA. 195 00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:17,067 - PERFECT. 196 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:19,767 LISTEN, I'M GOING TO GO FIND SOME CHAMPAGNE. 197 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,267 YOU KEEP TATIANA COMPANY. 198 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,967 - I THINK I COULD SUFFER THROUGH THAT. 199 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,067 - ALL RIGHT. 200 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,167 [chatting in Serbian] 201 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,733 - HASKELL, IT'S AN EMERGENCY. 202 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:30,933 TATIANA WANTS CHAMPAGNE. DO WE HAVE ANY CHAMPAGNE? 203 00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:34,467 - YEAH, I PUT SOME IN THE FRIDGE. 204 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,267 BEHIND THE CAVIAR, THE TRUFFLES, 205 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,300 AND MY DATE WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON. 206 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,633 - TATIANA? 207 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:47,167 - BYE-BYE. 208 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,100 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. 209 00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:50,333 NO BYE-BYE. 210 00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:53,567 STUART, WHERE'S MY MODEL GOING? 211 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,267 - WE TALKED ABOUT HER FAMILY AND IF IT WAS HARD BEING AWAY. 212 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,167 SHE GOT A LITTLE HOMESICK, SO SHE'S GOING TO GO CALL THEM. 213 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:03,800 - [speaking Serbian] 214 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,533 - OH, SHE WANTS TO HAVE DINNER WITH YOU TOMORROW NIGHT. 215 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,667 - YEAH, REALLY? - YEAH,MM-HM. 216 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,000 - DA. - DA? 217 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:12,633 - DA. DA! 218 00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:15,500 - BYE-BYE. - WHOA, BYE-BYE. 219 00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:21,633 - BYE-BYE. 220 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,633 - OH, SHE FORGOT HER PURSE. 221 00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,700 AH, TATIANA, I THINK I-- 222 00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:30,567 [speaks in Serbian] 223 00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,267 - ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GOING TO WORK? 224 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,833 - YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT AT MEETING JASON, RIGHT? 225 00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:54,100 - YEAH, I REALLY THOUGHT WE HAD HAD A CONNECTION 226 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,800 UNTIL I STARTED HOCKING UP A FURBALL. 227 00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:58,800 - THEN TRUST ME, THIS WILL WORK, OKAY? 228 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,600 WE BREAK INTO HIS MAILBOX, STICK YOUR MAIL IN IT, 229 00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:03,067 HE'LL THINK IT GOT THERE BY MISTAKE. 230 00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:04,633 AND HE'LL COME BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT. 231 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:08,600 - GOD, YOU'RE A SNEAKY LITTLE THING, AREN'T YOU? 232 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:09,900 - LADIES. - HELLO. 233 00:11:09,933 --> 00:11:13,933 - WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE ALIVE. 234 00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:20,233 ALL THAT BABY NEEDS IS THE RIGHT BUYER. 235 00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:23,133 HELLO, MRS. SNYDER. HOW YOU FEELING? 236 00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:27,633 - I KEEP TELLING YOU, I'M FINE. 237 00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:30,667 - YOUR MOUTH SAYS YES, BUT YOUR SKIN COLOR SAYS NO. 238 00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:41,133 [knock at door] 239 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:44,767 - OH, IT'S YOU. 240 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,067 - I TAKE IT THAT MEANS JASON HASN'T COME BY YET? 241 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,867 - NO. 242 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:52,800 WHAT KIND OF CREEP KEEPS SOMEBODY ELSE'S MAIL? 243 00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:57,900 HE JUST WENT FROM "POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND" TO "IDENTITY THIEF." 244 00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:58,900 [knock at door] 245 00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,100 IT'S HIM. 246 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,767 - [excited squeal] 247 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,800 - OH. 248 00:12:11,967 --> 00:12:14,267 - MIND IF I STASH MY COFFIN HERE? 249 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:19,067 - I'VE ALWAYS DREAMT OF SOME MAN SAYING THAT TO ME. 250 00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,400 - WELL, PHIL HAS A DATE, AND FOR SOME REASON, 251 00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:22,367 HE THINKS IT'S A MOOD KILLER. 252 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,567 - YEAH, HE'S RIGHT, AND NO. 253 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,867 - SURE, WHY SHOULD YOU HELP ME? 254 00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:32,067 A SIMPLE MAN TRYING TO SCRATCH OUT AN HONEST LIVING. 255 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,267 MAYBE EVEN SEND HIS MOTHER A CHECK EVERY NOW AND THEN. 256 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:37,433 - ALL RIGHT, HASKELL. 257 00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:42,100 - AND WHEEL LOCK. 258 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,267 - HEY, HE'S NOT COMING, IS HE? 259 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,467 [sighs] 260 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,800 I'M GOING TO GO GET SOME WINE AND ICE CREAM. 261 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:50,467 - THROW IN SOME KITTY LITTER AND YOU GOT 262 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:54,433 THE SAD WOMAN TRIFECTA. 263 00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:56,900 - HASKELL, WHENEVER PHIL'S DATE'S DONE, 264 00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:59,100 YOU GET THIS GHOULISH BOX OUT OF HERE. 265 00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:01,233 - I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY'S SO SQUEAMISH ABOUT THIS THING. 266 00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:04,567 IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A DEAD BODY IN IT. 267 00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:12,500 NO, WE'RE OKAY. 268 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,367 - STUART, COME ON, MAN. 269 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,200 TATIANA'S GOING TO BE HERE ANY SECOND. 270 00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:18,467 GREAT. NOW, REMEMBER... 271 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:19,833 I WANT TO KEEP IT LIGHT TONIGHT. 272 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,633 - MM-HM, GOT IT. 273 00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:27,167 - WHAT'S THAT SMELL? 274 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,567 YOU WEARING MY COLOGNE? 275 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,967 - YEAH, I BORROWED SOME. 276 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:35,633 I THINK IT'LL AVOID CONFUSION IF I SMELL LIKE YOU. 277 00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:38,300 [doorbell rings] 278 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,267 - [greeting in Serbian] 279 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:52,167 - DAMN, GIRL, YOU LOOK HOT. 280 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:56,300 - [translating] 281 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:59,267 - STUART, DO ME A FAVOR. 282 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,267 AND TELL HER SHE LOOKS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL 283 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,533 THAN SHE DID LAST NIGHT. 284 00:14:03,567 --> 00:14:07,500 - [translating] 285 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:09,833 - OH. [speaks Serbian] 286 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:10,933 - UH, SHE SAID, "THANK YOU." 287 00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,400 - [giggling] 288 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:17,433 [conversing in Serbian] 289 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,267 - WHAT'S UP WITH THE HAND GRAB, MAN? 290 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,467 WHAT'D YOU SAY TO HER? 291 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,067 - NOTHING. NO, I--NO, I JUST SAID 292 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,433 THAT I AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID. 293 00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:32,367 - OH, OKAY. 294 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,167 DON'T DO THAT. 295 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,500 IT'S MY LINE. [laughs] 296 00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,433 NO MORE PIGGYBACKING, JUST...TRANSLATE. 297 00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:40,900 - OKAY, OKAY. - OKAY. 298 00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:45,367 NOW, TELL HER THAT I HAVE AN AMAZING NIGHT PLANNED FOR US. 299 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,100 YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO DINNER AND A CLUB. 300 00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,267 AND SOME DANCING. 301 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:54,300 - [translating] 302 00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,533 - OOH! [speaks Serbian] 303 00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:57,767 - SHE SAID THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. 304 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,100 - YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE. 305 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:05,567 [conversing in Serbian] 306 00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:10,167 - ANOTHER HAND GRAB! STUART, KITCHEN, NOW PLEASE. 307 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,633 STUART, WHAT'S GOING ON? 308 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,900 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 309 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:20,700 - AW, COME ON, MAN, THE LAUGHING, 310 00:15:20,733 --> 00:15:23,867 THE HAND GRABBING, BORROWING MY COLOGNE. 311 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,067 ADMIT IT. YOU LIKE HER. 312 00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,633 - [scoffs] NO, I--HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? 313 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,167 THAT'S--WH-- OKAY, I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER. 314 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,367 - MM-HM. 315 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,067 - I TRIED, PHIL, I TRIED, I TRIED TO RESIST, 316 00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,167 BUT-- [stammering] 317 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,567 LOOK, I'M GOING TO BACK OFF. 318 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,700 I MEAN, THE LAST THING I WOULD WANT TO DO 319 00:15:36,733 --> 00:15:37,700 IS STEAL HER FROM YOU. 320 00:15:37,733 --> 00:15:42,833 - [laughs] 321 00:15:42,867 --> 00:15:45,700 YOU? STEAL HER FROM ME? 322 00:15:45,733 --> 00:15:48,900 DR. STUART GARDNER, DDS, IS GOING TO STEAL 323 00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:51,267 A LINGERIE MODEL FROM ME? 324 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,067 [laughs] 325 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,467 - I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT SOUNDS SO CRAZY. 326 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,233 I AM THE ONE WHO PICKED HER UP IN THE FIRST PLACE. 327 00:15:57,267 --> 00:16:01,200 - YEAH, WITH MY WORDS, MAN, COME ON. 328 00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:05,533 AND BY THE WAY, ALL OF THIS HERE. 329 00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:07,900 - WELL, MAYBE IT WAS THE WAY YOUR WORDS WERE SAID 330 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:08,900 BY ALL OF THIS... 331 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:14,500 HERE. 332 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:16,967 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT, LOOK, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 333 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:17,967 WE CAN'T FIGHT OVER HER. 334 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,200 - THERE'S NOT A FIGHT. 335 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,833 DUDE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE RING. 336 00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:22,800 YOU'RE IN THE STANDS EATING HOT DOGS. 337 00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,733 - OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 338 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,200 IF YOU'RE SO CONFIDENT, THEN WHY DON'T WE LET HER DECIDE? 339 00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:29,467 - OKAY, WHY DON'T WE LET HER DECIDE? 340 00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,933 - TATIANA... 341 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:37,100 [speaking Serbian] 342 00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,633 - DA? 343 00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:42,567 [conversing in Serbian] 344 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,300 - PHIL? - MM? 345 00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:48,333 - [speaking Serbian] 346 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,867 - YEAH, SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT "CHEMISTRY," BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. 347 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,933 - NICE TRY, BUDDY, I CAN SEE IT IN HER EYES. 348 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,067 - [speaking Serbian] 349 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:09,500 - SHE SAID SHE'S HOT FOR ME TOO. 350 00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:11,233 - WHAT? 351 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:15,067 - [continuing in Serbian] 352 00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:21,800 - WELL, WHAT'D SHE SAY? WHO'D SHE PICK? 353 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,800 - YOU. 354 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,867 - YEAH! 355 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:25,933 - AND ME. 356 00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:30,267 - WHAT? 357 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,533 WAIT A SECOND. 358 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,067 SHE WANTS TO DATE BOTH OF US? 359 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:37,833 - OH, SHE DIDN'T USE THE WORD "DATE." 360 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,600 - YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 361 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:50,867 I'M GOING TO GO IN THERE 362 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,067 AND TELL HER IT AIN'T HAPPENING, ALL RIGHT? 363 00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:53,067 GRAB A SNACK, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 364 00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:56,100 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 365 00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:58,400 YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I, UM... 366 00:17:58,433 --> 00:18:00,733 I THINK IT SHOULD PROBABLY BE ME TO GO AND TELL HER 367 00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:01,967 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE. 368 00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,533 - OH, NO, NO, UH, UH, UH, UH, UH, UH. 369 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:07,233 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK. LOOK, WE GOT TO FACE IT. 370 00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:09,333 THE ONLY WAY EITHER ONE OF US HAS A SHOT 371 00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:10,433 IS IF IT'S BOTH OF US. 372 00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:14,533 - SO WHAT DO WE DO? 373 00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:18,400 - PHIL. 374 00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:22,900 STUART? 375 00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:32,867 [giggling] 376 00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:46,067 [whispering in Serbian] 377 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,467 - WHAT'D SHE SAY? 378 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:51,200 - SHE WANTS US TO KISS EACH OTHER. 379 00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:56,067 WE'RE DONE. - THAT'S IT FOR ME. 380 00:18:56,067 --> 00:19:00,533 - OH, HOLLY, WAIT, WAIT. 381 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,333 WOW. 382 00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:06,433 - WOW RIGHT BACK AT YOU. 383 00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:12,167 - UM... 384 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,067 YOUR MAIL GOT PUT IN MY BOX BY MISTAKE, SO... 385 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:16,900 HERE IT IS. 386 00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:18,300 - IS SOMETHING WRONG? ARE YOU OKAY? 387 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:19,967 - YEAH...UH, NO. 388 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,400 YOU GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING RIGHT... 389 00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:24,433 HERE. 390 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,433 - OH, MY GOSH. 391 00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:30,733 - I'LL SEE YOU. 392 00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:34,700 - WAIT, I DON'T... LOOK LIKE THIS. 393 00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:36,067 I JUST GOT CAUGHT IN THE RAIN. 394 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,500 AND, UM, AT THE BAR THE OTHER DAY, WHEN I WAS-- 395 00:19:38,533 --> 00:19:39,533 [choking noise] YOU KNOW, I JUST-- 396 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:42,100 I HAD A PIECE OF POPCORN-- 397 00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:43,567 CAN WE JUST START OVER PLEASE? 398 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,867 - SURE. 399 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,200 - THANKS. HI, I'M HOLLY. 400 00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:48,067 - HI, I'M JASON. [laughter] 401 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,333 - YOU WANT TO COME IN FOR A DRINK 402 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:50,667 SO I CAN PROVE I'M NOT THE BUILDING WEIRDO? 403 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,133 - I WOULD LIKE THAT. - AND GET THIS CRAP OFF MY FACE. 404 00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,167 - OH, WELL. 405 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:03,600 - [groans] 406 00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:07,100 GOOD EVENING. 407 00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:08,800 - [gasps] - OH, NO, NO, NO! 408 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,867 WAIT, COME BACK! 409 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:13,200 I'M NOT THE BUILDING WEIRDO! 410 00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:20,500 - PHIL, I'M SORRY THAT I MESSED UP YOUR DATE WITH TATIANA. 411 00:20:20,533 --> 00:20:22,200 I BROKE THE GUY RULES. 412 00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:25,267 - NAH, WITH A WOMAN THAT HOT, THERE ARE NO RULES. 413 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,867 - HEY, GUYS. 414 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,567 MY NIGHT WAS A TOTAL BUST. 415 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,167 - YEAH, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. 416 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,533 - OH, YEAH? ANYBODY WANT TO GO SEE A MOVIE? 417 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,667 - YEAH, SURE, I'LL GO. - YEAH, ME TOO. 418 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,667 - OH, GREAT. 419 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:41,200 WE'LL MAKE IT A THREESOME.