1 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,033 - [humming] 2 00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:14,867 - GOOD EVENING, HASKELL. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 3 00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,667 - IT WAS DELIGHTFUL... PEANUT. 4 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,033 - AW, THAT'S SO CUTE. 5 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,567 YOU KNOW, MY EX-WIFE AND I USED TO HAVE 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,200 PET NAMES FOR EACH OTHER. I USED TO CALL HER-- 7 00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:22,567 - I WAS OFFERING YOU A PEANUT, YOU FREAK. 8 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,667 SIT DOWN! 9 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:27,500 UH-UH-UH-UH, NOT THERE. THAT'S PHIL'S SEAT. 10 00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:29,033 - HOW COME HE ALWAYS GETS TO SIT THERE? 11 00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,033 - IT'S THE POWER SEAT, AND HE'S THE PACK LEADER. 12 00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:33,200 NOW, PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN, PULL THE SLED, 13 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,900 AND PRAY FOR SCRAPS LIKE THE REST OF US. 14 00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:37,967 - HEY. - OH, OH, THE KING IS HERE. 15 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,300 SIRE, YOUR CHAIR AWAITS. 16 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,400 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT DOWN BEFORE I GOT HERE, 17 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:46,400 BUT I'M LIKING YOUR ATTITUDE. [laughs] 18 00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:47,733 WHAT'S GOING ON? 19 00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:49,467 - HEY, YOU GUYS. - HI, HOLLY. 20 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,767 - OOH, HOT WINGS. AAH-AAH...OH! 21 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,533 - PUT DOWN THE WING, HASK-- 22 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:56,433 PUT IT DOWN! PUT IT DOWN! 23 00:00:56,467 --> 00:01:00,133 THIS HAPPENS TO BE MY DINNER. I'M STARVING. 24 00:01:00,167 --> 00:01:02,433 - HOLLY, YOU'RE EATING BAR FOOD FOR DINNER? 25 00:01:02,467 --> 00:01:04,167 - WELL, YOU KNOW, IT DIDN'T SEEM THAT PATHETIC 26 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,067 UNTIL I HEARD IT OUT LOUD. 27 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,600 I'M A VERY HIGH-PAID DIVORCE ATTORNEY, OKAY? 28 00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:11,100 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SHOP AND COOK. 29 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:13,167 [laughs] 30 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,300 - YOU GOT TIME TO CHEW AND SWALLOW? 31 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:18,500 - OH, SHE'S BACK. 32 00:01:18,533 --> 00:01:20,067 - WHO'S BACK? - WHAT? WHO? 33 00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:21,267 - THIS WOMAN I'VE HAD MY EYE ON. 34 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,533 - OH, WHICH ONE? 35 00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:24,433 - THE BLONDE WITH THE BLACK DRESS. 36 00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:27,267 - OH, OKAY NOW, SHE'S PRETTY. 37 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,667 THAT'S SOME GOOD TASTE, STUART. - THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 38 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,933 AND I PROMISED MYSELF THE NEXT TIME I SAW HER, 39 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,300 I WAS GONNA MAKE MY MOVE. 40 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:34,933 - ALL RIGHT, YOU GO, MAN. GO GET HER! 41 00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:38,067 - I CAN'T WAIT. - HE'S NOT MOVING. 42 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,600 WHY IS HE NOT MOVING? 43 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,200 - [clears throat] YOU KNOW, MAYBE NEXT TIME. 44 00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,467 - WHAT? 45 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,467 - YOU KNOW, STUART, 46 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,467 WE ALL HAD A ROUGH TIME DATING AFTER OUR DIVORCES. 47 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,500 AND BY "WE," I MEAN HASKELL. 48 00:01:51,533 --> 00:01:53,300 - BUT WE EVENTUALLY SLEPT WITH DOZENS OF WOMEN. 49 00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,800 AND BY "WE," I MEAN PHIL. - [chuckles] 50 00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:57,867 - YEAH, WELL, SINCE MY DIVORCE, 51 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,333 I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN ON THE SCOREBOARD. 52 00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:01,200 I'M TRYING TO GET BACK OUT THERE, 53 00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:02,900 BUT I KEEP GETTING SHOT DOWN. 54 00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:04,733 AND THAT'S NOT EXACTLY A CONFIDENCE BUILDER. 55 00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:06,233 - SWEETIE... 56 00:02:06,267 --> 00:02:07,833 - PICKING UP WOMEN ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE. 57 00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:09,067 I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 58 00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:11,200 - NO, NO. YOU GUYS... 59 00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:15,233 WOMEN DO NOT WANT CHEESY LINES AND SLEAZY INNUENDO. 60 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,367 I MEAN, WE WANT TO BE LISTENED TO AND UNDERSTOOD. 61 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,233 WE WANT A MAN WHO IS SMART AND SENSITIVE AND CARING. 62 00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:24,600 - NO, THAT'S WHAT WOMEN THINK THEY WANT. 63 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:26,533 WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, YOU WANT A MAN 64 00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:28,067 WHO'S GONNA PUT IT ON YOU. - UGH. 65 00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:29,733 - YOU WANT A MAN WHO'S GONNA TAKE YOU THERE. 66 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:34,200 YOU WANT A MAN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WOW. 67 00:02:34,233 --> 00:02:37,200 - WELL, OKAY, NO-- DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, STUART. 68 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,900 COME HERE. COME HERE, LISTEN. 69 00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:42,333 WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO WHAT'S BETWEEN THE EARS, OKAY? 70 00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:45,500 JUST GO BE YOUR SWEET, SMART, SENSITIVE SELF. 71 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,667 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. THANKS, HOLLY, I WILL. 72 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,567 BUT...I DON'T PLAN ON GOING IN UNARMED. 73 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,567 SMILE ON. 74 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,667 - SMILE ON, WOMEN OFF. - [laughs] 75 00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:59,200 - OH, HE'S TALKING TO HER. 76 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,667 THAT'S GOOD. DON'T LOOK. DON'T LOOK. 77 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,233 SHE'S SMILING. SHE'S LAUGHING. 78 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,167 OH, I LIKE HER. OH, SHE'S GETTING UP. 79 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,533 WAIT, SHE'S LEAVING. SIT DOWN, YOU BITCH! 80 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:13,833 - SORRY, BUDDY. YOU STRUCK OUT AGAIN, HUH? 81 00:03:13,867 --> 00:03:15,133 - NOT ENTIRELY. 82 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,800 SHE SAID TO "FRIEND" HER ON FACEBOOK. 83 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,633 - OH, CONGRATULATIONS. 84 00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:20,800 YOU GOT TO EIGHTH GRADE WITH HER. 85 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:27,100 - * WE LOST OUR HOMES, WE LOST OUR WIVES * 86 00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:30,400 * THREE STRANGERS, WHAT WE GONNA DO? * 87 00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,267 * OUR DIVORCE LAWYER SAID 88 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,067 * SHE'D PUT A ROOF OVER OUR HEAD * 89 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,433 * YEAH, SHE CAME TO OUR RESCUE * 90 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,700 * SHE'S WHERE WE GO WHEN OUR HEARTS ARE BROKEN * 91 00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:41,767 * WHERE WE TURN WHEN WE FINALLY LEARN * 92 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,967 * WE LOST THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES * 93 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:48,233 * JUST CALL US THE EXES 94 00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:49,767 - YAY. 95 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,733 - OH, STUART, I'M STARVING. 96 00:03:51,767 --> 00:03:54,433 OH, THOSE LOOK GREAT. 97 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,867 OW. OW. OW. OW. 98 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,667 - DROP THE EGGS! HOW'S IT FEEL? 99 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,400 AAH! 100 00:04:02,433 --> 00:04:05,100 TAKE IT. TAKE IT! TAKE IT. 101 00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:06,667 - HOLLY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 102 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,267 YOU CAN'T LIVE ON BAR FOOD AND TABLE SCRAPS. 103 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,800 YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK. 104 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,467 TOMORROW, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE 105 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,767 SOME QUICK, SIMPLE MEALS. - OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD. 106 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,233 HASKELL, YOU GONNA EAT THAT BACON? 107 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:16,833 - WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S NOT A QUESTION. 108 00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:21,067 - ALL RIGHT, STUART, BATHROOM'S ALL YOURS. 109 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,900 SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, BUT LET'S FACE IT... 110 00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:26,067 IT WAS WORTH IT. 111 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,500 YOU KNOW, IF YOU WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME LAST NIGHT, 112 00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:31,133 YOU'D BE SHOWERING AT THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY'S APARTMENT. 113 00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:33,333 - UH-UH, HONEY, YOU DID FINE. 114 00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:34,633 - YOU'RE NOT HELPING HIM. 115 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,133 IF HE WANTS TO TALK TO HOT CHICKS, 116 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,767 HE HAS TO LEARN HOW TO GET HIS SWAGGER BACK. 117 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,733 - YEAH, I KNOW, HE NEEDS SOME CHITTY-CHITTY-BOOM-BOOM. 118 00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:46,600 - IT'S BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WOW. 119 00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:49,067 AND YOU JUST RUINED IT FOR ME. 120 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,067 - WELL, I THINK I KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT, 121 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,933 AND IT'S WHAT'S BETWEEN THE EARS. 122 00:04:52,967 --> 00:04:54,933 - YOU GOT THE BETWEEN PART RIGHT. 123 00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:58,100 - LISTEN... 124 00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,767 I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 125 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,100 I'M THE LADY HERE. 126 00:05:07,233 --> 00:05:09,900 OH, BOYS! 127 00:05:26,867 --> 00:05:27,833 - ALL RIGHT, SO TOMORROW AT 10:00, 128 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,067 YOU HAVE THE ROSEN DIVORCE, 129 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,200 AND A DEPOSITION AT 11:00. 130 00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,833 AND FOR LUNCH WE'RE GONNA GET 131 00:05:31,867 --> 00:05:34,600 MATCHING "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'" TRAMP STAMPS. 132 00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,867 - SOUNDS GREAT. 133 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,167 - HOLLY, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? 134 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,600 - SORRY, WHAT? 135 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:42,867 - WHAT IS WITH YOU? 136 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,400 YOU HAVE BEEN DISTRACTED ALL MORNING. 137 00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,833 - NO, I HAVEN'T. - YES, YOU HAVE. 138 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,833 SOMETHING IS GOING ON. TELL ME, TELL ME, 139 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,067 TELL ME, TELL ME. - NOTHING IS GOING ON. 140 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,400 - YES, IT IS. TELL ME. TELL ME. 141 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:52,900 I'M NOT STOPPING UNTIL YOU TELL ME, 142 00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:54,500 TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME-- 143 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:56,933 - SHH! ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU. 144 00:05:56,967 --> 00:06:00,067 SO THIS MORNING, I'M AT THE GUYS' APARTMENT, 145 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,067 AND I WALK INTO THE BATHROOM 146 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,433 JUST AS STUART IS GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER, 147 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,800 AND I SAW HIS-- 148 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,500 - OH, MY GOSH, YOU SAW LITTLE STUART? 149 00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,067 - LITTLE? THAT THING LOOKED LIKE 150 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:15,667 IT WAS TAKING HIM FOR A PIGGYBACK RIDE. 151 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:17,233 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 152 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:19,633 - STUART'S GOT A KING-SIZE GIGGLE STICK? 153 00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,733 - YEAH. 154 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:23,300 - HOW BIG ARE WE TALKING? 155 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:27,600 - WELL, ANY BIGGER, YOU COULD FEED IT PEANUTS. 156 00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:28,933 - OKAY, I NEED TO SEE A PICTURE OF THIS. 157 00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:31,400 DRAW IT. 158 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,400 - UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER PAD. 159 00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:35,967 - OKAY. 160 00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,500 - AND THAT MARKER-- THE THICK KIND. 161 00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:40,600 - OH... - YEP. 162 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:45,567 OKAY... 163 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,800 HAPPY? 164 00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:53,067 - I'D LIKE TO TAKE SOME PERSONAL TIME. 165 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,567 - HA HA. 166 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,067 - ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT EXAGGERATING? 167 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,167 I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE YOU'VE SEEN ONE 168 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,467 FACE TO-- IN PERSON. 169 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,367 - YES, I'M SURE. I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A WHILE 170 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,067 SINCE I'VE SEEN THE CHRYSLER BUILDING, 171 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:08,867 BUT I'D RECOGNIZE IT GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER. 172 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:11,733 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'LL LET YOU GET BACK THEN 173 00:07:11,767 --> 00:07:13,833 TO FANTASIZING ABOUT STUART. 174 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,467 - I'M NOT FANTASIZING. 175 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,667 LOOK, THE WHOLE THING JUST CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE. 176 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,967 IT'S KINDA LIKE THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE JAWS 177 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:23,167 LEAP OUT OF THE WATER. 178 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,133 ANYWAY, JUST FORGET I MENTIONED IT. 179 00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:26,567 - IT'S ALREADY BEEN FORGOTTEN. 180 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,567 - UH, NO. MY PAD. 181 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,533 - OH. 182 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,200 WHAT? 183 00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:38,600 JUST GONNA STICK IT UP ON MY WISH BOARD. 184 00:07:41,233 --> 00:07:43,967 [knock on door] 185 00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:46,067 HI HI. 186 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,567 - HEY, EDEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 187 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,067 - OH, I'M HERE TO SEE STUART. 188 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,967 I'VE GOT SOME DIVORCE PAPERS FOR HIM TO SIGN. 189 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:56,967 - STUART'S DIVORCE WAS FINAL A FEW MONTHS AGO. 190 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,667 - YES, WELL, BUT, UM, SOME OF THE FORMS 191 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,567 FELL THROUGH THE CRACKS. 192 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,133 LIKE THE--LIKE THE I-95s 193 00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:09,800 AND, UM, THE B-52s AND SUCH. 194 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,433 ANYWAY, WHERE'S BIG STU? 195 00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:15,200 - WAIT, I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU. 196 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,533 EDEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 197 00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,433 - OH, SHE'S HERE TO SEE BIG STU. 198 00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:20,567 - BIG STU? YOU TOLD THEM, DIDN'T YOU? 199 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,200 - TOLD US WHAT? - YEAH, WHAT? 200 00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:24,267 - NOTHING. NOTHING TO TELL. 201 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:27,600 - HOLLY SAW STUART'S SCHLONG, AND IT'S GINORMOUS. 202 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,867 - HOW GINORMOUS? 203 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:36,433 - TALL ENOUGH TO RIDE SPACE MOUNTAIN ON ITS OWN. 204 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:42,500 - NO WAY! 205 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,800 - YEAH, IT'S TRUE. 206 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:44,967 I WALKED IN ON STUART THIS MORNING 207 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,533 IN THE BATHROOM BY ACCIDENT. 208 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,067 - I'M NOT BUYING IT. 209 00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,867 STUART DOESN'T CARRY HIMSELF LIKE A MAN 210 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:53,200 WHO JUST HIT THE JUNK JACKPOT. 211 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,933 - SO STUART'S WELL-ENDOWED. BIG DEAL. 212 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:57,300 IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 213 00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,100 - IT CHANGES EVERYTHING! 214 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:03,167 HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN ANIMAL PLANET? 215 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,867 THERE'S A PECKING ORDER IN THE SPECIES. 216 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,867 WE HAVE TO KNOW WHO THE ALPHA MALE IS. 217 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:12,333 IT SETTLES DOWN THE PACK. OTHERWISE, THERE'S CHAOS. 218 00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:15,967 SCRATCHING AND NERVOUS DIGGING. 219 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:18,100 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND 220 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,867 OF MACHO THING YOU GUYS HAVE 221 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:21,500 ABOUT A MAN'S SIZE, 222 00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:23,767 BUT AS A WOMAN, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. 223 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,933 I MEAN, WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO WITH IT. 224 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:31,367 - I LIKE 'EM BIG. REAL BIG. 225 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,867 - HEY, GUYS. - HI, STUART. 226 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:39,467 - UGH, I HAD A LONG, HARD DAY. 227 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:43,767 I'LL TELL YOU, I AM DRAGGING. 228 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,233 - THAT'S THE RUMOR. 229 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:52,600 - EDEN, WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? 230 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,700 - NOTHING. SHE'S NOT STARING AT ANYTHING. 231 00:09:54,733 --> 00:09:56,533 - OH, NO, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 232 00:09:56,567 --> 00:10:00,033 I, UH--I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS. 233 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:02,033 IT'S THE NEW CORDS. FIRST OF THE SEASON. 234 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,267 CHECK 'EM OUT. 235 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:07,000 - OH, OKEY-DOKEY. - NO, THAT'S IT, WE'RE LEAVING. 236 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:08,100 - I WANT TO STAY. - GET A GRIP. 237 00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:10,667 - I WAS TRYING TO. 238 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:12,700 - WOW. WHO KNEW? 239 00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:15,100 THE LADIES LOVE THE CORDS. 240 00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:16,667 AND I'LL TELL YOU, I JUST BOUGHT 'EM 241 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,333 BECAUSE THEY LOOK SUPER COOL WITH TURTLENECKS. 242 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,333 - [laughs] 243 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:22,800 YEAH, THERE'S NO WAY MR. CORDUROY'S 244 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,800 SWINGING A BIG BAT. 245 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,267 - SUDDENLY I'M FEELING VERY VULNERABLE AND UNSETTLED. 246 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,767 WINTER IS COMING. 247 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,133 WHO WILL LEAD US THROUGH THE HARD SEASON? 248 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,467 - ALL RIGHT, STUART'S GONNA BE IN HERE ANY SECOND, 249 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,100 SO JUST ACT NATURAL. 250 00:10:46,133 --> 00:10:47,433 - NATURAL. 251 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,733 WE JUST LURED A MAN TO A HEALTH CLUB 252 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:52,267 TO TAKE A PEEK AT HIS BABY MAKER. 253 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,833 - WE'RE NOT PEEKING, WE'RE VERIFYING. 254 00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:58,133 - WELL, DID WE HAVE TO SPEND AN HOUR AND A HALF 255 00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:00,067 DOING CARDIO AND WEIGHTS? 256 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,400 - DON'T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS 257 00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:02,967 TO INVITE THE GUY TO THE GYM, 258 00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:05,067 SKIP THE WORKOUT, AND HEAD RIGHT TO THE SAUNA? 259 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:08,800 - NO. THAT'S MY NORMAL ROUTINE. 260 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:13,067 - PHIL, THIS BOYS DAY AT THE GYM 261 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,233 WAS A GREAT IDEA. 262 00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:15,733 WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN. 263 00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:18,500 SO LISTEN, NOW THAT IT'S JUST US GUYS, 264 00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:23,233 TELL ME... 265 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:27,733 HOW CAN I DO BETTER WITH WOMEN? 266 00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:29,833 I MEAN, REALLY, REALLY. 267 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,967 WHAT HAVE I GOT THAT'S GONNA MAKE ME STAND OUT 268 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,667 FROM THE AVERAGE JOE? 269 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:37,800 MAKE A WOMAN REALLY GO, "WOW!" 270 00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,833 - I GOTTA GO. - ME TOO. 271 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:53,633 - YOU TOOK HIM TO A SAUNA? 272 00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:55,700 - HOW'D YOU FIND OUT? 273 00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:59,667 - HASKELL'S TWEET. 274 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,933 - PEOPLE LIKE TO KNOW MY WHEREABOUTS. 275 00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:05,067 LOOK, WE HAD TO KNOW, AND NOW WE DO. 276 00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:08,167 THERE'S A CHANGE IN THE PECKING ORDER. 277 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,533 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, NUMBER TWO? 278 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,533 - HEY, GUYS. - HEY, STUART. 279 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:17,700 - OOH, LET ME GET THAT BAG FOR YOU. 280 00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:19,167 - THANKS, HASKELL. 281 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,833 - WOULD YOU LIKE A BEER? 282 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:22,533 - UH, YEAH, I'D LOVE ONE. 283 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:23,800 - I'D LIKE ONE TOO, PLEASE. 284 00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:24,933 - GET YOUR OWN. 285 00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:29,100 AND STRAIGHTEN THOSE MAGAZINES. 286 00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:31,533 - SO, HOLLY, YOU READY FOR YOUR FIRST COOKING LESSON? 287 00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:32,933 - OH, AM I EVER. I MEAN, CONSIDERING 288 00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:34,300 THAT FOR LUNCH TODAY 289 00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:38,967 I HAD A SLIM JIM AND AN ANTIBIOTIC. 290 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:41,633 - TERRIFIC. HEY, YOU GUYS REMEMBER SUSAN, 291 00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,100 THE GIRL FROM THE BAR THAT I FRIENDED ON FACEBOOK? 292 00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,433 - YES. - I POKED HER. 293 00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:50,333 - IS SHE STILL ALIVE? - STOP. 294 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:51,867 - YES. 295 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,667 YEAH. I PLAN ON SEEING HER TONIGHT AT THE BAR. 296 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,100 - YOU ASKED HER OUT? 297 00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:56,800 - NO, SHE POSTED ON FACEBOOK 298 00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,167 SAYING SHE'S GONNA BE THERE, 299 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,267 AND IF ANYBODY ELSE WANTED TO DROP BY-- 300 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,533 SO GUESS WHO "ANYONE ELSE" IS. 301 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,067 I'M KIND OF NERVOUS. I MEAN, 302 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:06,067 I CAN'T BEAR TO STRIKE OUT AGAIN. 303 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:07,600 - WELL, THEN YOU NEED TO START ACTING LIKE 304 00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:10,067 YOU GOT WHAT THE LADIES WANT, 'CAUSE YOU DO. 305 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,667 ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT A SERIOUSLY-- 306 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:17,067 - SWEET DISPOSITION. 307 00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:19,433 YEAH. AND WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT GIRL, 308 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,733 SHE'S GONNA BE ALL OVER YOU. 309 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,067 - THANK YOU. THANKS, GUYS. 310 00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:25,267 SO I GUESS NOW I JUST HAVE TO COME UP WITH 311 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,267 SOME SNAPPY CONVERSATION STARTERS. 312 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:32,367 - HOW 'BOUT "LOOKEE HERE"? 313 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,167 - YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? 314 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,400 THAT'S NOT WHAT WOMEN WANT. 315 00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:38,333 - HOLLY, COME ON, TELL ME YOU DON'T LOOK AT STUART 316 00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:39,933 A TAD DIFFERENT. 317 00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:41,100 WHEN WOMEN KNOW STUFF LIKE THIS, 318 00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:43,900 IT AFFECTS THEM. 319 00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,667 - DO I LOOK AFFECTED? 320 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,567 I MEAN, COME ON, IT'S THE SAME LOVEABLE STUART. 321 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,500 NOTHING'S CHANGED. 322 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:53,533 - STUART WILL SEE YOU NOW. 323 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,167 DON'T MAKE HIM WAIT. 324 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,500 - OKAY, STUART. I'M ALL YOURS. - OKAY, GREAT. 325 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,067 LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED. NOW, WE BEGIN 326 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:04,233 WITH THE CORNERSTONE OF ANY GREAT MEAL-- 327 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:06,967 THE BAGUETTE. 328 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:08,633 - WOW. 329 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,100 - YEAH, IT'S A BEAUTY, ISN'T IT? - YEAH. 330 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,500 YOU WANT TO STOP WAVING THAT THING IN MY FACE? 331 00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:14,633 - SO, IF YOU HAVE A BAGUETTE AND A SALAD, 332 00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,233 YOU GOT AN EASY MEAL. 333 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,067 SO LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE, LETTUCE... 334 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,600 - OH. - YEAH, MUSHROOMS... 335 00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:21,633 - MM-HMM. - HEIRLOOM TOMATOES, 336 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,800 BABY CARROTS. 337 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,733 - BABY CARROTS. - AND THE SOUL 338 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:28,933 OF ANY GREAT SALAD-- THE MIGHTY CUCUMBER. 339 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,267 - OH, MY GOD. - YEAH. 340 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,567 SO YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO WITH THIS BAD BOY? 341 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,633 - NUH-UH. 342 00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,067 - WE'RE GONNA WASH IT. HERE YOU GO. 343 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,567 GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD. 344 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,867 - I DON'T--OH... - THERE YOU GO. 345 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,500 - NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS. 346 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:53,767 JUST WASHING A VEGGIE WITH MY BUDDY. 347 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,767 MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD. 348 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,567 - HOLLY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HANDLE IT SO GINGERLY. 349 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,400 GO AHEAD, IT'S NOT GONNA BITE YOU. 350 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:03,867 - [nervous laugh] - COME ON, HERE, LET ME HELP. 351 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,567 - OKAY. - LOOK, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS 352 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,333 MOVE YOUR HANDS BACK AND FORTH. 353 00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,533 THERE YOU GO. YOU SEE? THERE'S A-- 354 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:12,667 THERE'S A RHYTHM TO IT. 355 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,233 ATTA GIRL. 356 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:17,300 ATTA GIRL. YOU'RE A NATURAL. 357 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,533 I TELL YOU, IT'S LIKE YOU'VE DONE THIS A THOUSAND TIMES. 358 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:23,833 - STUART? - YEAH? 359 00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,400 - I GOTTA GO. 360 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,900 - HI, GUYS. 361 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,067 - HEY. - HEY. 362 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,933 OH, SO... - HUH? 363 00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:40,067 - HOW WAS THE COOKING LESSON? 364 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,900 - FINE, JEEZ. FINE, JEEZ. - REALLY? 365 00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:45,567 BECAUSE STUART SAID YOU GOT ALL FLUSTERED, 366 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,133 AND YOU JUST RAN OUT. 367 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,933 AND I WAS LIKE, "SHE'S PROBABLY GOT A REASON." 368 00:15:48,967 --> 00:15:51,433 A REALLY, REALLY BIG ONE. 369 00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:54,233 - OKAY, OKAY, YOU WERE RIGHT. 370 00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,300 I WANTED TO BELIEVE I WAS MORE EVOLVED, 371 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:58,767 BUT IT TURNS I'M NO BETTER THAN AN ALLEY CAT IN HEAT. 372 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,300 - [chuckles] 373 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,167 WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING IS I WAS RIGHT. 374 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,400 - MMM. 375 00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:05,300 - AND THE OTHER IMPORTANT THING IS-- 376 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,467 NO, THAT'S IT. I WAS RIGHT. 377 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,133 - WILL YOU TWO STOP BABBLING? 378 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,467 STUART HAS APPROACHED A WILLING FEMALE. 379 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,700 THE COURTING RITUAL HAS BEGUN. IT'S BEGUN! 380 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:18,467 - THAT'S IT, WE ARE CANCELING ANIMAL PLANET. 381 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,833 - LOOK, HE'S TALKING TO HER, YOU GUYS. 382 00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:22,067 THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. 383 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,400 - YEAH, BUT SHE JUST CHECKED HER WATCH. 384 00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:25,800 THAT'S BAD. THAT'S BAD. 385 00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:29,300 - UNCROSS YOUR ARMS, YOU ICE QUEEN. 386 00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,867 - I CAN'T WATCH THIS ANYMORE. 387 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,700 IF ONLY SHE KNEW HE HAS A FERRARI PARKED 388 00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:36,700 IN THOSE CORDUROYS. 389 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:40,467 - SHE'S GOING TO. 390 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,533 OH, SORRY. OH, STUART! 391 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:43,633 I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU THERE. 392 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:44,967 - HI. - HEY, HOLLY. 393 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,067 SUSAN, THIS IS MY GOOD FRIEND HOLLY. 394 00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,467 - HI, HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO MEET YOU. 395 00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,067 I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU GUYS. 396 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,533 HEY, WOULD YOU MIND GRABBING ME A GLASS OF WHITE WINE? 397 00:16:52,567 --> 00:16:57,800 - OF COURSE. SUSAN? - NO, THANK YOU. 398 00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,533 - SO STUART'S QUITE A GUY, ISN'T HE? 399 00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,467 - OH, YES, HE'S VERY NICE. 400 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,967 - OH, NICE. WELL, HE'S MORE THAN NICE. 401 00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:08,900 [chuckles] MUCH MORE. 402 00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,367 MUCH MORE. 403 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,533 - [chuckles] 404 00:17:12,567 --> 00:17:14,567 - SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE? 405 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,300 MUCH MORE. 406 00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:21,633 YOU FOLLOW? - NOT REALLY, NO. 407 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:27,600 - SUSAN... HE'S ENORMOUSLY GIFTED. 408 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:32,733 ENORMOUSLY. 409 00:17:32,767 --> 00:17:35,533 - WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? 410 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,933 - FOR GOD SAKES, THE MAN HAS A HUGE PENIS! 411 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,933 - HOLLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 412 00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:48,067 - TALKING YOU UP. 413 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,567 - SUSAN, SUSAN, LOOK-- 414 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,933 - WHAT'S-- WHAT'S GOING ON? 415 00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:52,767 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A REALLY NICE GUY. 416 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,967 I MEAN, YOU SEND OVER YOUR PSYCHO WING WOMAN 417 00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:57,233 TO BRAG ABOUT YOUR SIZE? - NO. NO, NO, NO. 418 00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:58,800 - AND YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT? 419 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:01,233 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WANT ANYMORE! 420 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,500 - WELL, I KNOW WHAT I WANT. TO GET OUT OF HERE. 421 00:18:09,533 --> 00:18:14,133 - NO, SUSAN-- - SUSAN-- 422 00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:17,433 DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, STUART. 423 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:20,867 SMILE ON? 424 00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:28,433 - OKAY, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 425 00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:30,833 YOU LOOKED A GROWN WOMAN DEAD IN THE FACE 426 00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:33,700 AND SAID--AND I QUOTE-- "HE HAS A HUGE--" 427 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:37,067 - I KNOW WHAT I SAID! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. 428 00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:40,067 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID THAT HE WOULD NEVER 429 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:43,367 GET ANYWHERE WITH WOMEN UNLESS THEY KNEW WHAT HE HAD. 430 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,300 - YOU IMPLY IT, OKAY? YOU SUGGEST IT. 431 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,667 YOU DON'T TAKE IT OUT AND SMACK HER OVER THE HEAD WITH IT! 432 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:51,600 - STUART, OH, MY GOD, 433 00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:53,300 I'M SORRY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 434 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,700 I REAL-- I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP. 435 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,467 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS TOLD HER. 436 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,367 I THOUGHT THE SAUNA WAS A SACRED PLACE. 437 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,433 - NO, SHE TOLD US SHE SAW YOU IN THE BATHROOM 438 00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:02,900 GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER. 439 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,733 - WE ONLY WENT TO THE SAUNA TO VERIFY IT. 440 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:10,367 AND MAY I SAY, SIR, BRAVO. 441 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,067 - LOOK, I KNOW I REALLY SCREWED UP, 442 00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,933 BUT PLEASE DON'T LET IT STOP YOU FROM GETTING OUT THERE. 443 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:17,533 - NO, NO, IT DIDN'T. 444 00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:20,067 AFTER YOU SCARED SUSAN OFF, I TRACKED HER DOWN. 445 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,533 I APOLOGIZED, AND WE TALKED, LAUGHED, 446 00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:23,833 AND I TOOK HER OUT FOR COFFEE. 447 00:19:23,867 --> 00:19:24,833 - OH, GOOD FOR YOU. 448 00:19:24,867 --> 00:19:26,567 YOU TOOK HER OUT FOR COFFEE. 449 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,067 - YEAH... 450 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,100 RIGHT AFTER WE HAD SEX! 451 00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:34,133 [all cheering, laughing] 452 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,067 I'M BACK, BABY. - YEAH, YOU ARE! 453 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,733 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, 454 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,500 IF I HADN'T OPENED MY BIG MOUTH 455 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:44,500 AND COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED YOU, 456 00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:46,167 YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE CHASED HER DOWN 457 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,167 AND BONDED OVER HOW COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE I WAS. 458 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,067 SO I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, 459 00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,200 YOU'RE WELCOME. 460 00:19:56,533 --> 00:20:00,267 - WOW, YOU'VE GOT BALLS. 461 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,933 - I THINK WE HAVE A NEW LEADER.