1 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,247 - THERE'S THE CHAMP. 2 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,715 CONGRATULATIONS, HASKELL. 3 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:15,749 I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 4 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,985 - OH, PLEASE. IT'S NOTHING. 5 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,688 - OH, COME ON, THEY'RE FLYING YOU BACK TO OHIO 6 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:24,392 TO NAME A BOWLING LANE AFTER YOU. 7 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,659 THAT'S A BIG DEAL. 8 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,861 - IT'S A HUGE DEAL. 9 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,463 - WELL, I WOULD LOVE TO COME WITH YOU GUYS, 10 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,865 BUT I DON'T WANT TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR BOYS' TRIP. 11 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,001 - OH, WE ARE GONNA GET CRAY-CRAY IN AKRON. 12 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,536 - AHH. 13 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:39,073 - I BOOKED US ON A TOUR OF THE OLD STICKLY FURNITURE FACTORY. 14 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,341 - OH. 15 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,044 YOU JUST PROMISE YOU'LL USE PROTECTION, STUART. 16 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,646 EDEN WOULD HAVE LOVED TO COME CELEBRATE, 17 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,415 BUT SHE'S GOT HER FIRST PAPER DUE TOMORROW, 18 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,850 AND SHE'S CLOISTERED AWAY LIKE A TINY LITTLE MONK. 19 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,485 - UH-OH. 20 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,422 COME ON. COME ON. 21 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,724 - LOOKS LIKE YOUR LITTLE MONK IS ON A JAEGER BREAK. 22 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,126 - WHAT? 23 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,593 EDEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 24 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,129 YOU'VE HAVE HOMEWORK DUE TOMORROW. 25 00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,663 HOMEWORK? 26 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,565 HOW OLD ARE YOU? 27 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,135 I'VE GOT TO GO. 28 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,736 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 29 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,172 I'M PAYING GOOD MONEY TO SEND YOU BACK TO COLLEGE. 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,506 YOU HAVE AN ENGLISH LIT PAPER DUE, 31 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,275 AND YOU'RE HANGING OUT AT A BAR? 32 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,876 - I AM GETTING IT DONE. 33 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,346 PROCRASTINATION IS PART OF MY PROCESS: 34 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:22,583 DELAY, DELAY, DRINK, FLIRT, PANIC, RED BULL, CRANK IT OUT. 35 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,153 - WELL, HERE'S MY PROCESS: 36 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,188 POKE, PROD, NAG, NAG, RED BULL, 37 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,357 EDEN GETS HER ASS OFF THE BAR STOOL. 38 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:31,225 - YES, MOM. 39 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,526 - OH, I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. 40 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,429 I'M YOUR MENTOR, YOUR FRIEND, YOUR CONFIDANT. 41 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,698 NOW, GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 42 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,601 - WHY CAN'T YOU BE COOL, LIKE MY OTHER FRIENDS' BOSSES? 43 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,602 - IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 44 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,804 - I HATE MY OWN GOOD. 45 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:47,375 - HEY, EDEN. - NO BOYS. 46 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,177 - HEY, GUYS. 47 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,979 - JUST ABOUT TO TOAST HASKELL ON HIS BIG HONOR TOMORROW. 48 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,481 - OH, NOW, YOU KNOW I'D BE THERE 49 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,316 IF SOMETHING IMPORTANT HADN'T COME UP, RIGHT? 50 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,819 - YES, HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET TO GOLF? 51 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,188 - IT'S NOT JUST GOLF. 52 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:02,256 IT'S A CELEBRITY TOURNAMENT. 53 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,857 I'M IN A FOURSOME WITH LIL' WAYNE. 54 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,092 - OH. 55 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,494 - WHY GIVE THAT UP? 56 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,896 ALL I HAD TO DO WAS REARRANGE MY ENTIRE PATIENT SCHEDULE 57 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,499 AND TRANSFER ALL MY ROOT CANALS TO DR. CHATTAHARI. 58 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:15,269 AND IN EXCHANGE, I HAVE TO GO TO HIS DAUGHTER'S SITAR CONCERT. 59 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,904 - AND I APPRECIATE IT, STU. 60 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,839 AT LEAST SOMEONE'S MADE THE EFFORT. 61 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,940 - OH, SO WE'RE ALL GOOD. 62 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,643 A TOAST TO MY BUDDY, HASKELL, 63 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,346 WHOSE ACHIEVEMENT ON THE LANES WILL NEVER BE-- 64 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:28,048 DAMN, DAMN, DAMN. 65 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,217 - PHIL. - HUH? HUH? 66 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,418 - PHIL, THE TOAST. 67 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,953 - OH, RIGHT, ACHIEVEMENT ON THE LANES, 68 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,088 NEVER FORGOTTEN, YOU THE MAN CHEERS. 69 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,258 SEE YA. 70 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,662 - * DE-DO DE-DO 71 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,631 - * DO-DO-DO DO-DO-DO 72 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:47,134 * DO-DO-DO 73 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,336 - * DE-DO DE-DO 74 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,470 - * DO-DO-DO 75 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,239 * DO-DO-DO-DO 76 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,276 - GO AWAY, YOU PAIN IN THE ASS. 77 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,544 - OPEN UP. 78 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,246 WHAT? ARE YOU HERE TO BABYSIT ME? 79 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,580 - NO. 80 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,416 I'M HERE TO INSPIRE YOU. 81 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,785 YOU KNOW, I WAS AN ENGLISH MAJOR IN COLLEGE. 82 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:08,456 IN FACT, MY PROFESSOR ONCE HELD MY SENIOR THESIS UP IN FRONT 83 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:11,859 OF THE ENTIRE CLASS AND SAID MY WORDS ON WORDSWORTH 84 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:15,429 WERE WORTH MORE THAN WORDSWORTH'S WORDS WERE. 85 00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,266 WHAT A GASBAG. 86 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,968 - BUT AN ASTUTE GASBAG. 87 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,036 - I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU. 88 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,540 - I REMEMBER HOW EXHILARATING WRITING PAPERS COULD BE, 89 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,511 OH, GETTING SWEPT UP IN THE RAPTURE OF LANGUAGE, 90 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:34,748 SPENDING HOURS PORING OVER EVERY SENTENCE, EVERY IMAGE, EVERY-- 91 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,285 - AND DONE. 92 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,619 - DONE? 93 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,788 WHERE ARE THE CHEWED PENCILS, THE TYPEWRITER RIBBONS, 94 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,523 THE BOTTLES OF WITE-OUT? 95 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:46,994 OH, PROBABLY IN A LANDFILL ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE '80s. 96 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,462 I'M BEAT. YOU DO ME A FAVOR: 97 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,797 SPELL-CHECK IT AND HIT SEND? 98 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,836 - OKAY. 99 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:03,544 OH, WELL, THAT'S A WEAK TOPIC SENTENCE. 100 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:07,681 AND THAT'S NOT A PLAYFUL METAPHOR. 101 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:11,118 HMM, MAYBE I'LL MAKE A FEW TWEAKS. 102 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:14,622 WHO AM I KIDDING? IT'S A TOTAL REWRITE. 103 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:19,393 - COME, STUART. LET'S GO. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 104 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,729 JUST PUTTING TOGETHER SOME SNACKS FOR THE FLIGHT. 105 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:25,132 I LIKE SAVORY FOR TAKEOFF AND SWEET FOR LANDING. 106 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,335 - I LIKE SLEEPING PILLS FOR TAKEOFF 107 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,002 AND A SLAP IN THE FACE FOR LANDING. 108 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:32,840 YOU GUYS HAVEN'T LEFT YET? 109 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,409 STUART, HASKELL, THIS IS DEE DEE. 110 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,678 SHE'S A FLIGHT ATTENDANT. 111 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,513 - HI, GUYS. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 112 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,649 - OH, WELL, NOT TO BRAG, BUT WE'RE HEADED TO AKRON 113 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,984 TO GET A BOWLING LANE COMMEMORATED IN MY HONOR. 114 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,587 - OH, THAT IS SO COOL. 115 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,889 CONGRATULATIONS. 116 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,991 - OH, AH, HA. 117 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,961 THEY'RE ALSO PUTTING MY PORTRAIT UP 118 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,464 IN THE GALLERY OF LEGENDS... 119 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,466 - muah! 120 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:02,636 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY, LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO RUSH ANYBODY, 121 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,572 BUT DEE DEE HAS A FLIGHT TO MAKE, 122 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,840 AND I'VE GOT A TEE TIME, SO I'LL CALL YOU, BABY. 123 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,241 - OKAY. 124 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,645 OH, BY THE WAY, I LEFT THE GUEST TOOTHBRUSH IN THE BATHROOM. 125 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,381 - WHAT GUEST TOOTHBRUSH? 126 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,582 - THE PINK ONE BY THE SINK. 127 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,485 - IT'S MAUVE, AND IT'S MINE. 128 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,052 - OOPS, SORRY. 129 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,489 - OH, ONE SECOND. - MM-HMM. 130 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,890 - HELLO. 131 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,493 - SEE, I KNEW MY TOOTHBRUSH WAS WET WHEN I USED IT THIS MORNING. 132 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,397 - THAT WAS THE AIRLINE. 133 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,432 A PASSENGER ON MY LAST FLIGHT IS IN THE HOSPITAL 134 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,601 WITH MYSTERIOUS SYMPTOMS, AND THE CDC THINKS 135 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:37,170 HE MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS, SO UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS, 136 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,940 THEY WANT ME AND ANYONE I'VE HAD PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH 137 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,075 TO REMAIN QUARANTINED. 138 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,312 - WHAT? NO. NO. NO. NO. 139 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,747 I'VE GOT A GOLF TOURNAMENT. 140 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,315 TOUGH BREAK, PHIL. 141 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,783 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOUGH BREAK, PHIL? 142 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,251 WE ALL HAD PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH HER. 143 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,253 SHE KISSED YOU, USED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH, 144 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,955 AND I WAS ALL-- YOU KNOW WHAT? 145 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:59,927 LET'S JUST SAY... 146 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,529 LET'S JUST SAY THAT WE'RE STUCK HERE. 147 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,096 - NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE STUCK HERE. 148 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,164 I'VE GOT AN AWARD TO PICK UP. 149 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,100 - NO, HASKELL, I'M SORRY, 150 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,437 BUT AS THE MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL ON SITE, 151 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:12,172 IT'S MY JOB TO ENFORCE THIS QUARANTINE. 152 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,807 - MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL? 153 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,809 YOU'RE A DENTIST. 154 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,078 I MEAN, IF THERE'S A GINGIVITIS OUTBREAK. 155 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,780 YOU CAN CALL THE SHOTS. 156 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,348 - COME ON. COME ON. 157 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,350 HASKELL, THIS IS SERIOUS. 158 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,353 NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL WE GET THE ALL CLEAR. 159 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,888 - IN THE MEANTIME, 160 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,324 I'LL BE COMING THROUGH SHORTLY WITH A SELECTION OF BEVERAGES. 161 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,868 - HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, HOLLY, WITH TWO SUGARS 162 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:43,003 BECAUSE YOU ARE SO SWEET. 163 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,938 - WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY TODAY? 164 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,941 - MY ENGLISH LIT PROFESSOR JUST POSTED THE GRADE FOR MY PAPER. 165 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,143 - REALLY? AND WHAT DID WE GET? 166 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,613 ALTHOUGH I HAVE A FEELING IT BEGINS WITH AN A. 167 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:56,650 - IT DOES, A... B-MINUS. 168 00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,220 BOOM! 169 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,589 - THAT STINKS. 170 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:04,492 I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A B-MINUS IN MY LIFE. 171 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,959 - I THINK IT'S A PRETTY GOOD GRADE. 172 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,128 IT WAS MY FIRST COLLEGE PAPER IN YEARS. 173 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,163 - I DON'T CARE. THAT WAS AN A-PLUS PAPER. 174 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:14,134 IT WAS BRILLIANT, INSIGHTFUL, IT BROKE NEW GROUND. 175 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,169 - AW, THANKS. 176 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,505 THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SO PROUD OF ME 177 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,306 IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE GRADE. 178 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,042 - OH, BULL FARTS. 179 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,144 YOU POURED YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO THAT PAPER, 180 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,846 AND YOU DESERVE TO BE RECOGNIZED. 181 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,515 - HOLLY, REALLY, I'M OKAY WITH IT. 182 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,749 - I'M NOT. 183 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,384 WHO DOES THIS TWEED-JACKETED HACKADEMIC THINK HE IS? 184 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,886 - HE'S HEAD OF THE LIT DEPARTMENT, 185 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,187 A FORMER RHODES SCHOLAR, 186 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,624 AND WINNER OF THE AMERICAN MEDAL FOR LITERARY CRITICISM. 187 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,893 - OH, SWEETIE. 188 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,095 THEY HAND THOSE OUT LIKE CHICLETS. 189 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,401 - HOT TOWEL? 190 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,938 THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. 191 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,806 AS SOON AS I GET THE GO-AHEAD FROM THE TOWER 192 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,608 I AM OUT OF HERE. 193 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,209 - IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL BE COMING THROUGH 194 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,178 WITH OUR MEAL SERVICE. 195 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,580 - WELL? 196 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:03,283 - I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MY COLLEAGUES AT THE CDC. 197 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,885 YOU KNOW, HASKELL, WHEN YOU'RE A DOCTOR, 198 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,086 YOU'RE PART OF A BROTHERHOOD-- 199 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,555 - WHAT DID THEY SAY? 200 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,557 - WELL, THEY'RE STILL RUNNING TESTS ON THE PATIENT, 201 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,758 BUT UNTIL THEY KNOW FOR SURE, 202 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,092 I'M AFRAID WE'RE ALL STUCK HERE. 203 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,695 NO, YOU'RE STUCK HERE. I'M LEAVING. 204 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,965 IF I GO NOW, I CAN STILL CATCH THE LAST FLIGHT TO AKRON. 205 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,332 - HASKELL, STOP. - NO! 206 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,834 THERE'S NOTHING GONNA MAKE ME MISS THIS CEREMONY. 207 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,402 IT'S TOO IMPORTANT TO ME. 208 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,805 THIS IS MY DAY, MY MOMENT. 209 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,407 - LOOK, I CAN'T STOP YOU, BUT IF YOU INFECT EVEN ONE PERSON 210 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,443 AT THAT BOWLING ALLEY, CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF? 211 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:33,180 - I THINK SO. I REBOUND QUICK. 212 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,281 - HASKELL... 213 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,950 - ALL RIGHT. 214 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,486 - I'M SORRY. 215 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,188 - HEY, SO WHAT'S THE WORD? ARE WE OUT OF HERE? 216 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,223 'CAUSE IF I LEAVE NOW, I CAN STILL MAKE THE BACK NINE. 217 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,892 - THE CDC CONFIRMED QUARANTINE PROTOCOLS 218 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:45,959 ARE STILL IN EFFECT. 219 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,094 - DAMN IT. 220 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,862 - CHECK BACK IN WITH MY COLLEAGUES. 221 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:53,601 THEY GAVE ME THE DIRECT DOCTOR'S LINE. 222 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,868 THE SECRET IS, 223 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:59,506 WHEN YOU HEAR THE RECORDING, YOU PRESS TWO. 224 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,741 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 225 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,710 THE ONE TIME IN MY LIFE I'M BEING HONORED, 226 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,044 AND I CAN'T BE THERE. 227 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,146 - WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME? 228 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,414 - TO YOU? 229 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,449 - YEAH, I REALLY WANTED TO PLAY IN THAT TOURNAMENT. 230 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:13,086 - YOU SELFISH SON OF A BITCH. 231 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,622 - WHAT? 232 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,890 - I'M MISSING ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS IN MY LIFE, 233 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,491 AND THE ONLY THING YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT 234 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,060 IS SOME STUPID GOLF GAME. 235 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,328 - WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 236 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,996 - YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME. 237 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,132 YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO COME IN THE FIRST PLACE. 238 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,533 - BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS COOL. 239 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,801 - WELL, I WASN'T. 240 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,137 - WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS, HASKELL? 241 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,640 - A FRIEND WOULD KNOW. STUART KNEW. 242 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,042 LET'S BE HONEST. 243 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,677 I'M NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU. 244 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:41,548 THE ONLY ONE WHO IS IMPORTANT TO PHIL CHASE IS PHIL CHASE. 245 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,752 - PHIL, BAD NEWS: WE'RE OUT OF THE FISH SELECTION. 246 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,054 BUT DON'T WORRY. 247 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,556 I'M GOING TO SNEAK YOU A SUNDAE. 248 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,668 - COME IN. 249 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,436 - PROFESSOR STRAF, I ASSUME? 250 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,805 - GUILTY. 251 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,974 AND TO WHOM DO I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF SPEAKING? 252 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,776 - I'M HOLLY FRANKLIN. 253 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:12,179 I'M HERE ON BEHALF OF ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS, EDEN KUNKLER. 254 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:15,683 - AH, EDEN, DELIGHTFUL YOUNG LADY. 255 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,350 AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATION? 256 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,787 YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO YOUNG TO BE HER MOTHER. 257 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,822 - I'M IN NO MOOD TO BE CHARMED. 258 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:25,693 BUT YES, WAY, WAY TOO YOUNG. 259 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:29,329 I HAPPEN TO BE HER EMPLOYER, HER BENEFACTOR, MENTOR, FRIEND. 260 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,799 - WELL, TO ALL OF YOU, MAY I SAY WELCOME. 261 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:35,502 - WHY DON'T YOU SAVE YOUR WHIMSY FOR THE FACULTY COCKTAIL PARTY. 262 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,604 EDEN WROTE A BRILLIANT, INSIGHTFUL PAPER 263 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:40,808 TO WHICH YOU INEXPLICABLY GAVE A LOWLY B-MINUS. 264 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,943 - WELL, THAT'S MOST UNLIKE ME TO OVERLOOK BRILLIANCE. 265 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,444 - WELL, YOU DID. 266 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,579 THE PROSE WAS ELEGANT, THE LANGUAGE VIVID, 267 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,049 BORDERING ON POETIC. 268 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,952 - I MUST SAY, I'M IMPRESSED BY YOUR PASSION. 269 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:56,123 I'M AS PASSIONATE ABOUT THAT PAPER AS IF I WROTE IT MYSELF. 270 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,825 - WELL, IN THAT CASE, I HAVE NO CHOICE 271 00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:01,361 BUT TO GIVE IT A FRESH READ AND RECONSIDER ITS MERITS. 272 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,529 - REALLY? 273 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,397 OH, I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA GET UGLY. 274 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,900 I WAS PREPARED TO TEAR YOU A NEW ONE WITH AN ALLEGORY. 275 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,839 - YOU KNOW, HOLLY, MY TEACHING PHILOSOPHY 276 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:15,876 IS BASED ON A LINE FROM A FAVORITE KEATS POEM OF MINE: 277 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,912 "THE ONLY MEANS OF STRENGTHENING ONE'S INTELLECT 278 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,082 IS TO MAKE ONE'S MIND UP ABOUT NOTHING. 279 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,085 - ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH, 280 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,221 "LOVE IS MY RELIGION, AND I COULD DIE FOR THAT. 281 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,458 I COULD DIE FOR YOU."? 282 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:35,963 - "MY CREED IS LOVE, AND YOU ARE ITS ONLY TENET. 283 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:40,100 YOU HAVE RAVISH'D ME AWAY BY A POWER I CANNOT RESIST." 284 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,470 - TO QUOTE ANOTHER FAVORITE POET OF MINE, 285 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,605 "LET'S GET IT ON. 286 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:54,314 HEY, STUART, I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, 287 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,117 AND WANT YOU TO BE TOTALLY HONEST, ALL RIGHT? 288 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,519 AM I SELFISH? - YES. 289 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,989 - SO YOU'RE SAYING I'M SOMEONE WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT HIMSELF? 290 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,456 - ABSOLUTELY. 291 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,925 - WELL, WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY EVER TELL ME THIS? 292 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,126 - WE THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS. 293 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,460 - I THOUGHT IT WAS PART OF MY CHARM. 294 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,062 - NOT IN THE LEAST. 295 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,800 - SO IF I'M HEARING THIS RIGHT, I'M A SELFISH GUY. 296 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,169 YEAH, THAT DOESN'T MAKE PHIL CHASE FEEL GOOD AT ALL. 297 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,637 - IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO. 298 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,540 - AND HASKELL'S UPSET BECAUSE MISSING HIS CEREMONY, 299 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,477 AND HE THINKS I DON'T CARE. BUT I DO CARE. 300 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,913 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA FIX THIS. 301 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,848 - IT STARTS IN AN HOUR. THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO. 302 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,349 - YEAH, THERE IS. 303 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,484 I'M GONNA HAVE HIM SKYPE IN. I DO IT WITH ALL MY CLIENTS. 304 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,286 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GONNA CALL THE BOWLING ALLEY RIGHT NOW 305 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,421 AND ARRANGE FOR IT TO HAPPEN. 306 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,856 - I DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH TIME. 307 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,192 I DON'T THINK IT WILL WORK. - OH, I'MA MAKE IT WORK. 308 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:42,129 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN BE VERY NEGATIVE SOMETIMES, STUART. 309 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,365 YEAH, I'D LOOK INTO THAT. 310 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,668 - MAY I TAKE YOUR TRAY? 311 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,070 - IT'S ALL YOURS. 312 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:53,173 - OH, YOU HARDLY TOUCHED YOUR PRETZELS. 313 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,507 - THEY WERE STALE. 314 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,744 I'M NOT EVEN FLYING FIRST IN MY OWN APARTMENT. 315 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,949 - I DON'T MEAN TO BE PUSHY, 316 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:05,218 BUT I ASKED FOR A GINGER ALE ABOUT 30 MINUTES AGO. 317 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,354 - THERE'S ALWAYS ONE. 318 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,258 - SO HOW ARE YOU DOING, HASKELL? 319 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,926 - HOW DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? 320 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,495 INSTEAD OF BASKING IN THE ADULATION OF MY FANS, 321 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,231 I'M STUCK WITH YOU, A GUY I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO, 322 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,267 AND A WOMAN WHO TOLD ME THAT MY SOFA CUSHION 323 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,869 COULD BE USED AS A FLOATATION DEVICE. 324 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,105 - WELL, LISTEN. 325 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,673 PHIL WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO TELL YOU THIS HIMSELF, 326 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,708 BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW HE'S CALLING THE BOWLING ALLEY 327 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,143 AND ARRANGING FOR YOU TO BE SKYPED IN 328 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,478 SO YOU CAN ACCEPT YOUR AWARD. 329 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,513 - WHAT A GREAT IDEA. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 330 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,482 - WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING IS, PHIL DID. 331 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,351 - SO IT'S ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN. 332 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,153 I'VE GOT TO PUT ON MY BOWLING SHIRT 333 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,055 AND PRACTICE THE LUTZ VICTORY KICK, 334 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,590 BECAUSE MY FANS ARE GONNA EXPECT IT. 335 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,128 - SO DID YOU SET EVERYTHING UP? 336 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,897 - I COULDN'T. THEY CANCELED IT. 337 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,331 - OH, GOD. WHY? 338 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,465 - LACK OF INTEREST. 339 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,267 THEY COULDN'T SELL ENOUGH TICKETS. 340 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,203 IT'S GOOD THING I DIDN'T TELL HASKELL ABOUT THIS. 341 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,238 THE POOR GUY WOULD BE CRUSHED. 342 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:03,276 - PHIL, YOU KNOW HOW WE TALKED ABOUT YOU BEING SELFISH? 343 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,477 - UH-HUH. 344 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,612 I THINK YOU MIGHT WANT ALSO WANT TO WORK 345 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,914 ON YOUR ANGER ISSUES. 346 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,750 - I DON'T HAVE ANGER ISSUES. 347 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,920 - I TOLD HASKELL YOU'D SKYPE HIM IN. 348 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,187 - ARE YOU CRAZY? 349 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,623 WHAT THE WERE YOU THINKING? 350 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,591 SEE? YOU SEE? YOU SHOULD WORK ON THAT. 351 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,428 - AHH! 352 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,467 - THERE'S MY LITTLE FUN-SIZED CO-ED. 353 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,603 BOOP. 354 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,738 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 355 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:35,675 - OH, YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBS, 356 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,111 THOUGHT I'D DROP BY, 357 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,547 SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING FOR YOU... 358 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:45,218 AT SCHOOL... WITH YOUR GRADES. 359 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:49,789 - WELL, ACTUALLY, I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM PROFESSOR STRAF. 360 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,792 YEAH, IT TURNS OUT HE RE-READ MY PAPER AND CHANGED THE GRADE. 361 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,562 - OH, DID HE NOW? 362 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,731 AND WHAT PRAY TELL DID HE CHANGE IT TO? 363 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,201 - A C-MINUS. 364 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,735 - WHAT? 365 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,471 HE LOWERED IT? 366 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,539 - YEAH, I GUESS HE REALIZED HOW CRAPPY IT WAS 367 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:09,542 IN THE FIRST PLACE. 368 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,777 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING 369 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,012 GOING BACK TO COLLEGE. 370 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,546 LOOK, I'M SORRY I WASTED YOUR MONEY. 371 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,881 MAYBE I SHOULD JUST DROP OUT. 372 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,449 - NO. NO, YOU CAN'T. 373 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,650 - WHY NOT? 374 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,052 BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET A C-MINUS. 375 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,187 I DID. 376 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,991 WHEN YOU SAID TO SPELL-CHECK YOUR PAPER, 377 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,826 I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY, AND I-- 378 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,429 I KIND OF SORT OF REWROTE EVERY WORD. 379 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,864 - YOU WHAT? 380 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,133 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 381 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,234 - I DON'T KNOW. 382 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,835 I'M NEW AT THIS WHOLE MENTORING THING, 383 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,604 AND I JUST WANTED YOU TO SUCCEED. 384 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,706 - WHAT, SO MY PAPER WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH? 385 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,241 YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ME? 386 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,842 - NO, NO, OF COURSE I BELIEVE IN YOU. 387 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,912 I'M JUST A CONTROL FREAK, A LOVING ONE, 388 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:49,016 BUT I JUST THOUGH IT WOULD DO BETTER 389 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,218 WITH A LITTLE HOLLY MAGIC, YOU KNOW. 390 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,286 - YOU GOT A C-MINUS. 391 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,022 - WELL IT USED TO BE A B-MINUS. 392 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,357 - YEAH, WHY DID HE GRADE IT TWICE? 393 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:07,100 - WHO KNOWS WHY PEOPLE DO THINGS? 394 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,237 A LOT OF THOSE EGGHEADS DRINK. 395 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,773 - OH, MY GOD. 396 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,808 YOU WENT TO GOP SEE HIM, DIDN'T YOU? 397 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,843 - TO GET YOU A BETTER GRADE. 398 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,645 - NO, TO GET YOU A BETTER GRADE. 399 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,280 - OH, I'M SORRY, EDEN. 400 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:25,285 I SCREWED UP, BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DROP OUT. 401 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:29,289 - ARGH. 402 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,625 OKAY, I WILL STAY IN SCHOOL ON ONE CONDITION, 403 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,461 THAT THE HOLLY FRANKLIN SCHOLARSHIP 404 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,796 COMES WITH A WHOLE LOT LESS HOLLY FRANKLIN. 405 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,232 - YOU GOT IT, NO MORE INTERFERING. 406 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,700 - OKAY. 407 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,671 - I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A C-MINUS. 408 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,806 - WELL, HERE. HE EMAILED ME HIS COMMENTS. 409 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,276 FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF. 410 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,478 - OH. 411 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,980 "LACKED IMAGINATION. 412 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:57,517 "TOOK A PREDICTABLE POSITION. 413 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:01,121 DIDN'T BUILD TO A SATISFYING CLIMAX." 414 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,659 - THAT MAN IS NOT A FAN OF YOUR WORK. 415 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,169 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - SHH. 416 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,471 - I'M DISABLING THE ROUTER, SO HASKELL CAN'T SKYPE INTO 417 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,906 A CEREMONY THAT ISN'T HAPPENING. 418 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,308 - THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, ACTUALLY. 419 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,709 THEN HASKELL WON'T GET HURT. 420 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:27,480 - I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, MAN, NOT BEING SELFISH IS HARD WORK. 421 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,583 - COME ON. GET IN HERE. IT'S ABOUT TO START. 422 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,819 DON'T SKIMP ON THE FOREHEAD. 423 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,555 THE LUTZES ARE A SHINY PEOPLE. 424 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,157 - YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS. 425 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:40,260 AT FLIGHT ATTENDANT ACADEMY, I DID GREAT IN MAKEUP, 426 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,796 CPR NOT SO MUCH. 427 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:47,267 - WELL, THIS IS QUITE A SETUP YOU'VE GOT HERE, HASKELL. 428 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,369 - OH, WELL, MY FANS PAID GOOD MONEY, 429 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:52,139 AND THE HASKELL HEADS DESERVE TO SEE THEIR CHAMPION 430 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,141 IN HIS FULL. GLORY. 431 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,143 WELL, IT'S SHOWTIME. 432 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:59,579 LIGHTS, CAMERA, AND... 433 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,613 "WI-FI UNAVAILABLE." 434 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,483 - OH, MAN, DAMN TECHNOLOGY. 435 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:04,717 WELL, WE TRIED. 436 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,319 YEAH, THAT'S IT. BREAK DOWN THE SETS. 437 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,887 KILL THE LIGHTS. THAT'S A WRAP, PEOPLE. 438 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,789 - OH, NOT TO WORRY. 439 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,558 I'VE STILL GOT 4G ON MY TABLET. 440 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,661 - OH, BUT LET ME-- LET ME SEE THAT REAL QUICK. 441 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:15,995 YOU KNOW, IT LOOKS A LITTLE DIRTY, 442 00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,797 AND THE LAST THING I WANT IS FOR YOU TO BE SMUDGY 443 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,199 TO YOUR FANS. 444 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,334 - WELL, NO, LOOK, THERE ISN'T ANY TIME; GIVE ME THAT. 445 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,902 - OH, WELL, IT'S NOT CLEAN YET, HASKELL. 446 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,804 - STUART, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT CLEANING STUFF. 447 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,706 - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 448 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,275 LOOK, I'LL JUST DO IT FROM MY PHONE. 449 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,009 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 450 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,344 I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, HASKELL. 451 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,613 YOU KNOW, THE SCREEN IS SO TINY, AND YOU'RE THE KING. 452 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:34,814 - LOOK, GIVE ME THAT. - UH-UH. 453 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,183 - GIVE ME THAT PHONE. GIVE IT TO ME. 454 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,384 - NO. - GIVE IT TO ME. 455 00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:40,086 - AH, MY ARM! MY ARM! - 456 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,021 - NOTHING IS GONNA KEEP ME AWAY FROM THIS CEREMONY 457 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,890 - THERE IS NO CEREMONY. 458 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,194 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 459 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,095 - IT WAS CANCELED. 460 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,997 - WHY WAS IT CANCELED? 461 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:54,100 - I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU, HASKELL. 462 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,936 TSUNAMI. 463 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,205 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON? 464 00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,739 WHY WAS IT REALLY CANCELED? 465 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,608 - THEY DIDN'T SELL ENOUGH TICKETS. 466 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,380 - SO NOBODY CARED. 467 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,983 THE BIGGEST EVENT IN MY LIFE, AND IT MEANS NOTHING. 468 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,452 - IT'S NOT NOTHING. 469 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,721 YOU WERE THE MIDWEST BOWLING CHAMPION. 470 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,223 YOU ACHIEVED SOMETHING. 471 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,392 - THAT'S RIGHT, AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU. 472 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:24,531 - NO, THEY CAN'T, BUT MAYBE... 473 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,635 MAYBE IT'S TIME I STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. 474 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:31,471 I DID SOMETHING GREAT ONCE. 475 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,072 I WILL AGAIN. - YEAH. 476 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,675 - AND WHATEVER IT IS, WE'LL HAVE YOUR BACK. 477 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,244 - THANKS. 478 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:38,645 AND THANKS FOR SETTING UP THE SKYPE, 479 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,413 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, FOR WRECKING IT. 480 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,251 I WAS WRONG TO SAY YOUR SELFISH. 481 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,253 NO, NO, YOU WERE RIGHT. 482 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,255 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YOU IN THE BEGINNING. 483 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,423 - WELL, YOU WERE THERE FOR ME IN THE END. 484 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:54,394 - AW. - YOU JUST WRECKED IT, STU. 485 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,496 - GOOD NEWS. THE AIRLINE JUST CALLED. 486 00:19:56,496 --> 00:20:00,333 TURNS OUT THE PASSENGER JUST HAD A SEVERE FOOD ALLERGY, 487 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,202 SO WE'RE ALL CLEAR. 488 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:07,173 IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE SERVING YOU ALL TODAY. 489 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:10,410 FEEL FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE APARTMENT. 490 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,150 - * DE-DO DE-DO 491 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,620 - * DE-DO DE-DO 492 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,190 - * DE-DO DE-DO 493 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,559 - * DO-DO-DO DO-DO-DO 494 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,562 * DO-DO-DO 495 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,198 - * DE-DO DE-DO 496 00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,567 - * DE-DO DE-DO 497 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,536 - * DO-DO-DO-DO 498 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,538 - YEAH. 499 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,473 - ACME!