1 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,214 - OH, GOOD, YOU'RE ALL HERE. 2 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,383 MY FIRM IS HOSTING A CHARITY DINNER TONIGHT 3 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,251 TO SEND UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN TO CAMP, 4 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,053 AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO INVITE 5 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:21,722 THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN MY LIFE. 6 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,457 SO WOULD YOU CARE TO ATTEND? 7 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,393 - NO. - SORRY. 8 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,161 - WELL, TOO BAD, YOU'RE GOING. 9 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:30,131 I BOUGHT AN ENTIRE TABLE, AND EVERYONE I INVITED BAILED. 10 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,199 I CAN'T SIT ALONE. 11 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,768 I'LL LOOK MORE NEEDY THAN THOSE KIDS. 12 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,237 - SO, WHY DON'T YOU BAIL? 13 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,006 - BECAUSE THOSE CHARITY THINGS ARE ALWAYS STOCKED WITH MEN. 14 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,174 I'M GETTING MARRIED IN TWO MONTHS, 15 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,177 I NEED A GROOM. 16 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,614 - SO BASICALLY YOU'RE JUST USING UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN 17 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,149 AS A PLOY TO SNAG A HUSBAND. 18 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,952 - CONGRATULATIONS, STUART, YOU CRACKED THE CODE. 19 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,154 SUITS AND TIES. SEE YOU AT 8:00. 20 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:55,989 - * DE-DO DE-DO 21 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,428 * DO-DO-DO, DO-DO-DO 22 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,695 * DO-DO-DO 23 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,300 * DE-DO DE-DO, DO-DO-DO * 24 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,501 * DO-DO-DO-DO 25 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,904 - SO, HASKELL, SEE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BID ON? 26 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,707 - WELL, I DO HAVE MY EYE ON THIS COP RIDE-ALONG. 27 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,543 YEAH, JOINING THE BOYS IN BLUE 28 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,279 PATROLLING THE GRITTY STREETS OF NEW YORK. 29 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:21,349 PLUS THEY GIVE YOU A BADGE AND WHISTLE. 30 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,584 - WELL, STEP UP AND MAKE A BID. 31 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,453 - WELL, IT HAS BEEN MY LIFELONG DREAM. 32 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:31,492 - EIGHT BUCKS. 33 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,461 HASKELL, YOU JUST CHANGED A KID'S LIFE. 34 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,830 HE IS NOT GOING TO CAMP. - OH. 35 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,899 - HOLLY. HOLLY. GUESS WHAT? 36 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,335 THEY'RE AUCTIONING OFF A PRIVATE COOKING LESSON 37 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,472 WITH ROBERT THOMAS. HE'S A CULINARY GOD. 38 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,375 - WELL, AT LEAST YOU FOUND A MAN. 39 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,542 THE ONLY ONES I'VE SEEN 40 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,611 ARE MARRIED, DIVORCED, BITTER, OR GAY. 41 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,414 ONE GUY WAS ALL OF THEM. 42 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,250 - LISTEN, LEARNING FROM CHEF THOMAS WOULD BE 43 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:57,985 THE FIRST STEP IN FULFILLING MY DREAM. 44 00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,620 ONE DAY I PLAN ON OPENING UP MY OWN RESTAURANT, 45 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,190 LA PETITE MAISON DU STUART DANS LE JARDIN. 46 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,626 YOU KNOW, NOTHING TOO PRETENTIOUS. 47 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,461 - RIGHT. 48 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,197 - HEY, STUART, CHECK IT OUT. 49 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,598 DINNER WITH CAREN DUPREE. 50 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,099 REMEMBER HER? SHE PLAYED MRS. MORGAN 51 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,402 ON THAT CLASSIC '80s SITCOM, THE MORGANS. 52 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,337 - YEAH, YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT SHOW. 53 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,873 I USED TO WATCH IT AFTER BADMINTON PRACTICE. 54 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,543 - YOU ARE WHITER THAN THE COLOR WHITE. 55 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,282 THE MORGANS WERE LIKE MY SECOND FAMILY. 56 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,483 - MM. - YEAH, EVERY TIME THE KIDS 57 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,885 SCREWED UP, MRS. MORGAN WOULD ALWAYS BE LIKE, 58 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,887 "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BACON." 59 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,923 - THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT. 60 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,891 AND THEY HAD THAT GREAT THEME SONG, REMEMBER? 61 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:43,063 * TAKIN' IT, MAKIN' IT, SHAKIN' IT WITH THE MORGANS * 62 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,533 * YEAH 63 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,805 - OKAY, YOU PEOPLE, GET IN YOUR FINAL BIDS. 64 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,642 AND I'D LIKE TO REPEAT, FOR SOME OF YOU HANDSY GUYS, 65 00:02:54,642 --> 00:03:00,548 I AM NOT AN AUCTION ITEM. 66 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,253 OH, I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW, WITH THIS SUPER FLU, 67 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,087 I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME. 68 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,822 BUT IT'S FOR THE KIDS. 69 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:13,561 - OKAY, LET'S SEE WHO WON THE POLICE RIDE-ALONG. 70 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,796 IT'S KINDA HARD TO READ. IT'S A LITTLE WET. 71 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,766 UM, BUT I BELIEVE THE WINNER IS HASKELL LUTZ. 72 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:22,270 - I'M GOING TO BE A COP! I'M GOING TO BE A COP! 73 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:25,706 - OH, UN-UH, UN-UH. HEY, HEY! 74 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,575 WE GOT A PROBLEM? 75 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:31,078 WE GOT A PROBLEM? 76 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,347 - OKAY, AND THE WINNER OF THE DINNER 77 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,015 WITH CAREN DUPREE IS PHIL CHASE. 78 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:40,854 - HA-HA! I WON! 79 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:45,859 - EDEN, WHO IS THAT HOTTIE IN THE CHEF BOYARDEE OUTFIT? 80 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,629 - THAT'S ROBERT THOMAS. HE'S CATERING THE EVENT TONIGHT. 81 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,631 IN FACT, HE'S THE BIG PRIZE. 82 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,335 - OH, YES, HE IS. 83 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,969 - HOLLY, I'M THE HIGH BIDDER ON THE COOKING LESSON. 84 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,405 - GIVE ME THAT CLIPBOARD! 85 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,739 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I TOLD YOU COOKING 86 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,140 WITH ROBERT THOMAS IS MY DREAM. 87 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:03,644 - SORRY, COOKIE, HE'S MY DREAM NOW. 88 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,079 - YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU. 89 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,781 - MM-HMM. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT LOW? 90 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:11,051 THE CLIPBOARD. - D'OH! 91 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,886 - OH. 92 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,323 LOOK AT HOW MUCH THESE TWO WANT TO HELP THE CHILDREN. 93 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,957 IT--IT'S SIMPLY INSPIRING. 94 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,426 STOP IT, YOU IDIOTS! 95 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,160 - WHAT'S--WHAT'S GOING ON? - OH. 96 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,729 - OH, UH, CHEF, I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN. 97 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,631 I WANT TO LEARN FROM YOU. - AND I REALLY WANT TO 98 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:27,668 STUDY UNDER YOU, TOO. 99 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,870 - WELL, SINCE YOU'RE EACH SO... 100 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,405 PASSIONATE, I HAVE A PROPOSAL. 101 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:34,074 IF YOU BOTH PAY THE TOP AMOUNT, YOU CAN SHARE THE LESSON. 102 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:37,678 THAT WAY, YOU WIN, AND SO DO THE CHILDREN. 103 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,046 - THEN LET'S DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN. 104 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,416 YES, THE CHILDREN. 105 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,353 I'D MAKE A GREAT MOM. 106 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,496 - I WAS, UH, TOLD TO REPORT HERE, OFFICER. 107 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,697 I'M HASKELL LUTZ. 108 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,632 - OFFICER WILSON. YOU'RE MY RIDE-ALONG? 109 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,868 - AFFIRMATIVE. 110 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,102 YEAH, CAN I GET MY BADGE AND WHISTLE? 111 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,471 I WAS TOLD I GET A BADGE AND WHISTLE. 112 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,738 - REALLY? 113 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,641 WE'RE DOING THE BADGE AND WHISTLE? 114 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,110 OH BOY, OH BOY. 115 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,950 - YOU BLOW THAT IN THE CAR, WE'RE DONE HERE. 116 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,920 - WE GOT A 10-50, VICINITY OF 82nd AND 1st, COPY. 117 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,155 - 10-50. THAT'S A SUSPECTED BREAK-IN. 118 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,957 LET'S ROLL. 119 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:27,060 - THE IS CAR 617. WE'RE ON A CODE EIGHT, OVER. 120 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,162 - CODE EIGHT, WHAT'S THAT? UH, ROBBERY? 121 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,231 DRUG DEAL? - BATHROOM BREAK. 122 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,701 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M GOOD. 123 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,102 - OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL. 124 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,104 THIS IS MY LAST DAY ON THE JOB. 125 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,407 I'VE PUT IN MY 20, AND NOW THE WIFE AND I 126 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:42,009 ARE HEADED DOWN TO BOCA TO OPEN A SUPERCUTS. 127 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,779 SO, WE'RE JUST GOING TO TAKE A NICE LEISURELY DRIVE. 128 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:49,917 MAYBE STOP OFF FOR SOME SUGAR-FREE FRO-YO. 129 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,852 - BUT I WANT TO SEE SOME COP ACTION. 130 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,588 BUST A PERP, YOU KNOW, SHAKE DOWN A STOOLIE. 131 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,925 GET SOME FREE PRODUCE FROM A THANKFUL IMMIGRANT GROCER. 132 00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,794 - FINE. YOU CAN HIT THE SIREN. 133 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,434 OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 134 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,276 - OH, IT'S YOU. 135 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,745 - YOU THINK I'M HAPPY ABOUT THIS? 136 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,648 MY ONE CHANCE TO BE RECOGNIZED BY A WORLD-CLASS CHEF, 137 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,982 AND I HAVE TO SHARE IT WITH A WOMAN WHO THINKS 138 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:26,454 HAUTE CUISINE IS FOOD COOKED BY PROSTITUTES. 139 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,456 - THERE'S NO NEED TO GET SNIPPY, ALL RIGHT? 140 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,725 I KNOW IT'S NOT IDEAL, BUT AT LEAST WE CAN ACT CIVILIZED. 141 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,297 OH, HELLO, ROBERT. 142 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,266 - WELCOME, CHEF. - HI. 143 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,568 FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO THANK YOU BOTH 144 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:43,070 FOR YOUR GENEROUS CONTRIBUTION TO A WORTHY CAUSE. 145 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,572 AND I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET A LOT OUT OF THIS. 146 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:47,808 - OH, I KNOW I WILL. - ME TOO. 147 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,209 - OKAY, LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING'S SET UP. 148 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,744 NOW LET'S GET COOKING. 149 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,280 FIRST, I THOUGHT WE'D START WITH A DECEPTIVELY SIMPLE 150 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,484 PASTA PRIMAVERA. - OOH, SOUNDS ROMANTIC. 151 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:59,653 - LET'S BEGIN BY DICING A CARROT. 152 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,259 EXCELLENT KNIFE WORK, STUART. 153 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,528 - THANK YOU, CHEF. 154 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,629 - HOLLY, LET'S SEE YOUR TECHNIQUE. 155 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,499 - OKAY. 156 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,400 - HOLLY, HOLLY, HOLLY, HOLLY. 157 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,402 HOLLY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR MORE OF A GENTLE SLICE, 158 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,539 AND LESS OF A VENDETTA. - OH. 159 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,875 - DONE, CHEF. 160 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,745 - STUART, YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS. 161 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:28,716 I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO NEED MORE HANDS-ON INSTRUCTION. 162 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:31,018 - WELL, THAT'S, UH, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. 163 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,120 - RIGHT. - ALLOW ME. 164 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,589 KNIFE THERE. 165 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,925 EASY CHOP. 166 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,760 GOOD. 167 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,395 THIN SLICES. 168 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,301 - YOU MUST BE PHIL. 169 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,738 - OH, MY GOD, MRS. MORGAN! 170 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,078 HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME? 171 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,047 - WELL, YOU'RE THE ONLY GROWN MAN IN HERE 172 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,716 WITH A LUNCH BOX. 173 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,417 - I TOOK A SHOT. - OH. 174 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,920 I'M JUST SO NERVOUS, I-- PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT. 175 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,556 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING DINNER 176 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:09,790 WITH MRS. MORGAN. 177 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,358 - I GOTTA TELL YOU, YOUR SHOW, 178 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,426 IT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME GROWING UP. 179 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,563 YOU'RE KINDA LIKE MY SECOND MOM. 180 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,831 - OH, THAT'S SO SWEET. 181 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,733 THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD, 182 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,569 AND OLD. 183 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:24,004 - I--I'M SORRY. I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY. 184 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,073 - OH, RELAX, PHIL. I'M JUST FUNNIN' WITH YOU. 185 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,642 MRS. MORGAN IS JUST FUNNIN' 186 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,043 WITH ME. 187 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,245 WHOO! 188 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:37,284 YOUR SHOW HAD SUCH AN IMPACT ON ME GROWING UP. 189 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,953 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT EPISODE, SEASON SIX, 190 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,789 WHEN YOU CAUGHT MARCUS ON THE ROOF 191 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,423 SMOKING CIGARETTES WITH HIS BUDDIES. 192 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:46,960 AND HE WAS LIKE, "I ONLY DID IT BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DID." 193 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,462 AND THEN YOU SAID TO HIM, 194 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,498 YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID, DON'T YOU? 195 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,467 - I SAID, 196 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,337 "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BACON." 197 00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:01,008 - YES, YOU DID. 198 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,314 - YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO TRY THE STRAWBERRY? 199 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:10,117 IT'S VERY TASTY. 200 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,252 - WELL, WHAT ARE WE DOING BACK AT THE STATION? 201 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,621 I PAID FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT. 202 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:14,622 - MY SHIFT IS DONE. 203 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,156 ANOTHER OFFICER WILL BE TAKING OVER. 204 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,691 I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED YOUR RIDE-ALONG. 205 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,793 - YEAH, IT'S BEEN MY LIFELONG DREAM 206 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,496 TO WATCH A COP EAT A WAFFLE CONE. 207 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,239 - HEY, BUDDY. NAME'S BURKE. 208 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,974 - HASKELL LUTZ, YOUR RIDE-ALONG. 209 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,076 - WHOA, RIDE-ALONG. NO CAN DO. 210 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,945 WHEN YOU SIT IN THAT PASSENGER SEAT, 211 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,647 YOU'RE MY PARTNER. 212 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:41,181 - WOW, THAT'S GREAT. 'CAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANT-- 213 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,116 - SHUT IT! HERE ARE THE RULES. 214 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,318 WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THIS CAR, WHATEVER YOU SEE IN THIS CAR, 215 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,287 WHATEVER YOU HEAR IN THIS CAR, STAYS IN THIS CAR. 216 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,922 DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 217 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,057 - NO, SIR. 218 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,291 - YOU GOT A KEVLAR VEST UNDER THAT? 219 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:56,229 - N-N-JUST A COTTON-POLY TEE. 220 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,564 AM I GONNA NEED ONE? 221 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,332 - ONLY IF YOUR NUMBER'S UP. 222 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,912 - CHEF, I AM ADDING PRECISELY ONE TABLESPOON 223 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:15,048 OF HERBES DE PROVENCE TO THE SAUCE. 224 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:18,686 I INVITE YOUR CRITIQUE. 225 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:22,723 - IF I WAS HANGING WALLPAPER I'D BE THRILLED. 226 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,692 IT'S VISCOUS AND LUMPY. 227 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,926 - THANK YOU, CHEF. 228 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:29,262 - ROBERT, 229 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,932 I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME SEEM TO GET THIS CORK OUT. 230 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,268 CAN YOU HELP? 231 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,170 - JUST EASE IT HERE. 232 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,538 both: AAH! 233 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,610 WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME FOR A DRINK? 234 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,578 - I'D LOVE TO. 235 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,150 EXCUSE ME. - YES. 236 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,753 - ROBERT. 237 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,955 - I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR LITTLE WINE STUNT, 238 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,790 BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. I'M WINNING HIS ATTENTION, 239 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:01,061 AND HIS RESPECT. - OH, REALLY, LUMPY? 240 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,865 HE THINKS YOUR SAUCE TASTES LIKE WALLPAPER GLUE. 241 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,333 - OH, HOW LITTLE YOU KNOW. 242 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,002 THAT'S HOW CHEFS SPEAK TO THEIR MOST TALENTED APPRENTICES. 243 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,470 IT MEANS I'M DAZZLING HIM. 244 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,105 - OH, YEAH? WELL, GET READY TO MEET 245 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:15,976 RAZZLE AND DAZZLE. 246 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,011 - REALLY? REALLY? YOU'RE TAKING IT THERE? 247 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,080 - OH, YEAH, AND THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 248 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,882 - WHAT DO YOU GOT A THIRD ONE? 249 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,458 - HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP, LUTZ? 250 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:35,963 - SHOULDN'T WE BE STOPPING FOR SOME OF THESE LIGHTS? 251 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,765 - LIGHTS ARE FOR SHEEP, LUTZ. 252 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:40,133 ARE YOU A WOLF OR A SHEEP, HUH? HUH? 253 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,802 'CAUSE WE ONLY GOT WOLVES IN THIS CAR. 254 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,206 LET'S HEAR IT! 255 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:50,577 - YEAH. 256 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,512 - ALL UNITS, WE HAVE A 10-20 IN PROGRESS 257 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,114 AT THE CORNER OF 95th AND BROADWAY. 258 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,449 - 10-20? THAT'S AN ARMED ROBBERY. 259 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,952 - AND THAT IS TWO BLOCKS AWAY. OH, WE GOT THIS. 260 00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,323 SHOULDN'T WE WAIT FOR BACK UP? 261 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,325 - I ALREADY GOT BACK UP. YOU, PARTNER. 262 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,260 - NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT YOUR PARTNER. 263 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,395 I'M THE RIDE-ALONG. 264 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,931 I JUST WANTED TO SEND A KID TO CAMP. 265 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,338 - THERE'S THE MINI MART. 266 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,807 I'M GOING IN. 267 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,910 IF ANYBODY GETS PAST ME, 268 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:23,944 HANDLE IT. 269 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,850 - HANDLE IT? 270 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,819 W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "HANDLE IT?" 271 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:34,721 THAT'S A VERY VAGUE INSTRUCTION. 272 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,894 HELLO. 273 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,896 THIS IS HASKELL LUTZ, 274 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,032 THE RIDE-ALONG. 275 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:47,634 I WANT TO GO HOME NOW. 276 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,837 OVER. 277 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:52,272 - WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? 278 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,375 N-N-NOBODY, NOBODY. I'M JUST AN AUCTION WINNER. 279 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,910 - YOU'RE A COP. YOU'RE WEARING A BADGE. 280 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,678 - NO, NO, NO. NO, IT'S NOT A REAL BADGE. 281 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:03,016 IT--IT-IT'S A NOVELTY BADGE. SEE, IT SAYS, "LIL' SHERIFF." 282 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,185 - I DON'T CARE. COPS IS COPS. 283 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,420 AND I HATE COPS! - NO, PLEASE, PLEASE. 284 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,622 PLEASE LET ME GO. LOOK, I CAN'T I.D. YOU. 285 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,858 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR FACE. 286 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,125 - YOU WANNA SEE MY FACE? - NO, I DON'T! 287 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,595 - YOU WANNA SEE MY FACE? - I DON'T! 288 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,098 - GOTCHA. 289 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,666 - IT'S YOU? 290 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,334 - YEAH, I CUFFED HIM INSIDE, TOOK HIS MASK. 291 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:28,976 HOW MUCH FUN WAS THAT? 292 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,744 - I THINK I JUST WENT CODE EIGHT. 293 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:42,422 - NOW, YOU SURE YOU DON'T MIND AUTOGRAPHING A FEW MORE THINGS? 294 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,757 - AS LONG AS THEY DON'T WIND UP ON EBAY. 295 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,460 'CAUSE IF THEY DO, I WANT A CUT. 296 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,162 - BUT I WOULD NEVER SELL-- 297 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,032 WAIT A SECOND, YOU'RE KIDDING WITH ME AGAIN, AREN'T YOU? 298 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,666 - MRS. MORGAN'S CRACKIN' JOKES 299 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,068 IN MY APARTMENT. 300 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,469 HEY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 301 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,009 OKAY, IT'S JUST A FEW THINGS. 302 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,918 MRS. M IS IN MY BEDROOM. 303 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,921 WHY IS MRS. M IN MY BEDROOM? 304 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:18,025 - WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BACON. 305 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,527 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 306 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,795 - I'M SORRY. AM I BEING TOO SUBTLE? 307 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,331 - OH. 308 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:27,300 - HEY. 309 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,337 - UH, NO, BUT, UH, 310 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,605 I CAN'T FOOL AROUND WITH MRS. M. 311 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,275 I MEAN, UH, WHAT WOULD MR. M THINK? 312 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,244 - PHIL, PHIL. 313 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:41,014 MRS. M IS IN RERUNS. 314 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:45,118 CAREN DUPREE IS LIVE AND IN YOUR BEDROOM. 315 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,522 OH, MAMA. 316 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,359 - I AIN'T YOUR MAMA, PHIL. 317 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,494 - OH. HOO-HOO-HOO. 318 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,663 HEY, DO YOU, UH, REMEMBER THAT EPISODE 319 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,665 WHEN Y'ALL WENT ICE FISHING? 320 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,269 HOW BIG WAS THAT SALMON? 321 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,105 - WHAT'S WRONG, PHIL? 322 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:09,142 - NOTHING. I-I-I JUST CAN'T DO THIS. 323 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,011 - I SEE. 324 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,847 YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTED TO ME. - NO, IT'S NOT THAT. 325 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,218 I JUST DON'T THINK OF YOU THAT WAY. 326 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,787 - THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. 327 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,856 I DON'T USUALLY DO THINGS LIKE THIS. 328 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,026 OH, BABY, THE TRUTH... 329 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,995 IS I JUST CAME OUT OF A DIVORCE. 330 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:29,096 - MM. 331 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,597 - I GUESS I'M FEELING KINDA LONELY. 332 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,732 - I TOTALLY GET THAT. 333 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,034 YEAH. I'M DIVORCED, TOO. 334 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,336 WHEN MY WIFE WALKED OUT ON ME, 335 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,105 I DIDN'T FEEL TOO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. 336 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,872 - HOW'D YOU GET THROUGH IT? 337 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,542 - I'M NOT GONNA LIE. IT WAS HARD. 338 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,178 BUT, EACH DAY, 339 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,447 IT HURT A LITTLE LESS. 340 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,018 AND EVENTUALLY, YOU MOVE ON. 341 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:55,022 CAREN, COME HERE. 342 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,124 YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. 343 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,161 AND YOU'RE GONNA MEET SOMEONE GREAT. 344 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,196 - YOU REALLY THINK I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL? 345 00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,565 - HEY. 346 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,467 WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BACON. 347 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:11,271 - OH. 348 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,546 - CHEF, PERMISSION TO LEAVE THE LINE AND START PLATING. 349 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,049 - PERMISSION GRANTED. 350 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:23,683 HE'S AN EAGER LITTLE FELLOW, ISN'T HE? 351 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,218 - YEAH. IT'S JUST THAT THIS LESSON 352 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,120 MEANS SO MUCH TO HIM. 353 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,556 YOU KNOW, HE'S REALLY PROUD THAT YOU'RE BEING SO TOUGH ON HIM 354 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,358 'CAUSE YOU THINK HE HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL. 355 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,959 - OH, NO. I'M BEING TOUGH ON HIM 356 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,628 BECAUSE HE'S DREADFUL. 357 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,464 - READY, CHEF. 358 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:45,272 - ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE. 359 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,109 - I HAVE FOR YOU TODAY A PASTA PRIMAVERA 360 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,811 WITH HANDMADE LINGUINI AND MARKET VEGETABLES. 361 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,416 - THE VEGETABLES ARE SOGGY AND OVERCOOKED. 362 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,852 - GOOD TO KNOW, CHEF. 363 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,821 - THE SAUCE IS BLAND AND CHALKY. 364 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:05,092 - EXCELLENT. I'LL WORK ON THAT. 365 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,460 SO, UM, AHEM, MINOR IMPERFECTIONS ASIDE, 366 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,861 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE DISH AS A WHOLE? 367 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,597 - A HOLE IS PROBABLY WHERE I'D BURY IT. 368 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,432 - OKAY! ALL RIGHT. 369 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,767 WELL, LESSON OVER. WE EACH GOT WHAT WE CAME FOR. 370 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,902 YOU GO FORTH AND COOK, STUART. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 371 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,104 - GO, GO. - HOLLY, HOLLY. 372 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,705 THIS IS VALUABLE FEEDBACK. 373 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,907 SO, DO YOU THINK I HAVE A FUTURE IN THE CULINARY ARTS? 374 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,609 TELL ME, CHEF TO CHEF. 375 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,112 - "CHEF TO CHEF?" 376 00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,179 YOU'RE NOT A CHEF. 377 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,615 YOU'RE A POSER PLAYING DRESS-UP. 378 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,884 YOU FOLLOW. YOU DON'T INVENT, YOU MEASURE. 379 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,221 YOU DON'T CREATE. YOU COOK WITH YOUR HEAD. 380 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,822 CHEFS COOK WITH THEIR HEARTS. 381 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,757 SO, IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION, 382 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,459 DO YOU HAVE A FUTURE IN THE CULINARY ARTS? 383 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,727 YES. 384 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,129 AS A DINER. 385 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,502 - SORRY I WASTED YOUR TIME. 386 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,143 - SO, WHERE WERE WE? 387 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,145 I THINK IT'S MY TURN 388 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,712 TO CRITIQUE YOU. 389 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,149 YOU KNOW, DECENT HUMAN BEING TO POMPOUS, 390 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:05,452 SELF-INFLATED JACKASS. 391 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,820 YOU MAY BE A FAMOUS CHEF, BUT YOU ARE NOT HALF THE MAN 392 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,956 THAT STUART IS. SO, IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION, 393 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,291 "WHERE WERE WE?" 394 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:15,695 YOU WERE LEAVING. 395 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,996 - THAT'S TOO BAD. 396 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,500 BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW, I'M NOT ONLY A GREAT CHEF, 397 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,535 I'M ALSO A BRILLIANT LOVER. 398 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,541 - NO! GET OUT! 399 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,754 NEVER GET OFF THE COUCH. 400 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:47,194 NEVER GET OFF THE COUCH. 401 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,396 - RIDE-ALONG WASN'T WHAT YOU EXPECTED? 402 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:53,600 - I MET THE DEVIL. 403 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,404 HE WAS NOT A NICE MAN. 404 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,538 HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? 405 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,408 - HASKELL, I DID A GREAT THING, MAN. 406 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:02,875 I MADE A WOMAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF 407 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:07,247 BY NOT HAVING SEX WITH HER. 408 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:11,218 - AH, BORROWED A PAGE FROM MY BOOK. 409 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,585 - HEY. 410 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,786 ANYONE SEEN STUART? 411 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,488 - KITCHEN. 412 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,294 - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY? 413 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,762 WHAT AN ARROGANT JERK, HUH? 414 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,831 - AGREED. 415 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:28,501 - I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING HE SAID SERIOUSLY. 416 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,936 - ACTUALLY, I DID. 417 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,239 - OH, NO, STUART, YOU CAN'T. 418 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,540 HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 419 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,275 I KNOW WHAT COOKING MEANS TO YOU, 420 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,678 AND I WOULD HATE IT IF THAT BLOWHARD TOOK AWAY YOUR PASSION. 421 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,413 - TAKE IT AWAY? HE CRUSHED IT. 422 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,249 - OH. 423 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,883 - BUT THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, 424 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,552 AND I REALIZED HE WAS RIGHT. 425 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:46,919 I MEAN, IF I EVER WANT TO BE A CHEF, 426 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,955 I CAN'T JUST FOLLOW RECIPES. I HAVE TO DIG DEEPER. 427 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,424 I HAVE TO LEARN TO COOK WITH MY SOUL. 428 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:55,528 - SO, YOU'RE NOT DEVASTATED? HE DIDN'T CRUSH YOUR DREAM? 429 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,164 - NO, NOT AT ALL. IN FACT, 430 00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,099 I THINK IT WAS THE BEST COOKING LESSON EVER. 431 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:04,036 - SO I THREW OUT A PERFECTLY HOT GUY FOR NOTHING? 432 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,741 COME ON, RAZZLE AND DAZZLE. 433 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,677 LET'S GO GET THAT CHEF. 434 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,951 - * DE-DO DE-DO 435 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,153 - * DE-DO DE-DO 436 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:24,724 - *DE-DO DE-DO * 437 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,026 - * DO-DO-DO DO-DO-DO 438 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,363 * DO-DO-DO 439 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,732 - * DE-DO DE-DO 440 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,934 - * DE-DO DE-DO 441 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,069 - * DO-DO-DO-DO 442 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,071 - YEAH. 443 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,007 - ACME!