1 00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:11,667 - Previously on The Exes... - I'm marrying myself. 2 00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:14,033 What does that even mean, "I'm marrying myself"? 3 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:16,833 I've spent my entire life looking for a man to marry, 4 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,033 thinking that's what I needed to feel complete, 5 00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:20,633 until I realized I don't. 6 00:00:20,733 --> 00:00:21,967 Ten more people on the west side 7 00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:23,933 just listed their bathrooms on Pee Harmony. 8 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:25,133 Yes. 9 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,500 You guys would really help me plan my wedding? 10 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,967 Let me be your mother. 11 00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:31,533 You are using my wedding 12 00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:33,800 to advertise your stupid app? 13 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:34,967 Fix it! 14 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,500 - We're rich! - Filthy rich! 15 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,000 - They bought the company! - Yeah! 16 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,767 I never thought I'd say this, 17 00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:43,733 but you get out there and marry yourself. 18 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,167 (all) To Holly and Holly! 19 00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:46,900 (Stuart) And now... 20 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,600 - Bonjour, bonjour! - Hey! 21 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,367 Look who's back from Paris. 22 00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:57,500 Just hug it out. 23 00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:03,900 Yeah, we get it, Stuart. You spent a semester abroad. 24 00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:05,167 How was the honeymoon? 25 00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:06,700 Oh, well, I wouldn't label it a honeymoon. 26 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,267 I mean, I just married myself and took me to Paris. 27 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:11,800 And you didn't feel self-conscious 28 00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,067 being in the most romantic city in the world by yourself? 29 00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:15,167 Not in the least. 30 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,300 Actually, it was freeing to know 31 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,600 I don't need a man to enjoy my life. 32 00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,067 Well, just don't get too comfortable 33 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,167 being by yourself. 34 00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:21,200 What's that mean? 35 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,733 It means you don't want to end up 36 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,367 like one of those crazy old shut-ins. 37 00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,067 Yeah, yeah. 38 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,267 Next thing you know, there's police tape on your door 39 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:31,100 and the super's head's in the freezer. 40 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,367 Why didn't I just go home? 41 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,833 I had to do the pop-in. 42 00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:37,467 I had a wonderful time last night, 43 00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:40,067 my big, strong Haskell. 44 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:46,200 The pleasure was all mine, my naughty giraffe. 45 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:49,067 Ooh, and thank you for my little trinket. 46 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:50,133 You spoil me. 47 00:01:50,233 --> 00:01:52,433 Oh, you're worth it. 48 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:55,067 I'll call you, baby. 49 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,533 Seriously, I will call you. 50 00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:58,933 I've left, like, two messages 51 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,633 while you were brushing your teeth. 52 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,533 Ciao. 53 00:02:04,633 --> 00:02:05,600 Ciao. 54 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,400 Gentlemen, I know what you're thinking. 55 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,333 "What does he see in her?" 56 00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,167 Ha! 57 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:17,633 Welcome to the majors, buddy. 58 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:18,900 All right, okay, all right. 59 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,467 Haskell, as delighted as I am to see you happy, 60 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,300 it is possible that Nadia's 61 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,967 just keeping company with you because-- 62 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,067 What, because I'm loaded? 63 00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:29,067 Of course she is, you dolt. 64 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,433 Ever since I was a little boy, 65 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:32,133 I dreamed of being a sugar daddy 66 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:35,733 and dating women way out of my league. 67 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:37,067 And you did it, buddy, 68 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,933 'cause she is way, way out of your league. 69 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,500 Miles. 70 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,067 All right, okay, I've said my piece. 71 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,233 I have to go pack. 72 00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,200 I'm going to Buffalo for a dental expo, 73 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,367 and for the laughs. 74 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,067 Oh. 75 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:50,500 Hey, not to brag, but last night, 76 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,667 Nadia said that I had the energy of a man 77 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,867 half my a-- 78 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:57,067 Whoa, whoa. 79 00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:58,267 Are you all right there, buddy? 80 00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:01,133 Ow, it's-- it's my back. 81 00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,967 I must have tweaked something last night 82 00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,933 during a strenuous dismount. 83 00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,900 Oh. 84 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,867 Well, let's get you on the couch, all right? 85 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:11,633 I got to loosen those muscles before they seize up. 86 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,233 This happens all the time to my athletes. 87 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:14,633 - Oh, oh, oh. - Here we go. 88 00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:16,433 Oh, that's it, that's good. Ooh, that's the spot. 89 00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:17,867 - Uh-huh. - Ah, oh, oh. 90 00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:20,067 Don't stop, don't stop. 91 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,967 O-o-okay, 92 00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,367 but this ain't going anywhere, now. 93 00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,367 All right. 94 00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:31,367 Oh. 95 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:33,933 * De-do de-do 96 00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:38,167 * Do-do-do, do-do-do * 97 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:39,467 * Do-do-do 98 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,833 * De-do de-do-do 99 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,467 * Do-do-do-do 100 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,700 All right, looks like you got... 101 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,333 another fondue maker. 102 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:50,967 Yay. 103 00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:53,067 You know, Eden, it doesn't matter 104 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,767 whether you marry yourself or someone else. 105 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,467 You still get the same useless crap. 106 00:03:57,567 --> 00:04:00,267 So what do you want to do, keep, return, or regift? 107 00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:02,900 Return, and I'll regift that hideous cake stand. 108 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,267 Hey, that was from me. 109 00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:07,067 I love it. 110 00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:08,667 It's okay. It was a regift. 111 00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:10,067 Oh, well, in that case, 112 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,633 when you write my thank-you note to yourself, 113 00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:14,500 leave out two words-- "thank you." 114 00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:18,733 Okay, one left. 115 00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:20,567 - What's that thing? - Huh. 116 00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:24,633 "Meet Eric, an intuitive, talking operating system 117 00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:26,567 "that responds to voice commands, 118 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,367 has a built-in Wi-Fi and connects to the cloud." 119 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,167 It says, "The more you use it, the smarter it gets." 120 00:04:32,267 --> 00:04:34,067 Huh, I wonder what it'll have to say 121 00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,767 about its ride down the trash chute. 122 00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:39,200 Come on, let's give it a try. 123 00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:41,800 Hello, my name's Eric. 124 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,233 What's your name? 125 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,800 My name's Holly Franklin. 126 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:48,467 Holly Franklin, what a lovely name. 127 00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,600 Holly, do I have permission to sync with your apps, 128 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:51,967 contacts, and calendar? 129 00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:53,700 - No. - Why not? 130 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,733 - I just met the thing. - Stop being such a Holly. 131 00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,767 Fine. All right, Eric, yes, you have my permission. 132 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:01,833 Sync complete. 133 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:03,400 I am now totally operational. 134 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,100 Hey, it says here that it answers questions. 135 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,067 Ask it something. 136 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,867 Eric, what city are we in? 137 00:05:09,967 --> 00:05:14,600 We are in New York City, also known as The Big Apple. 138 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:15,900 Eric, what time is it? 139 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:19,333 The current time is 2:45 p.m. 140 00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:20,733 Eric, what's Holly's age and weight? 141 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,467 No, don't answer that, Eric! 142 00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:23,733 Off you go, off you go. 143 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:26,133 You...evil little elf. 144 00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,800 Okay, okay, I'm going. 145 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,400 But that is one cool gift. 146 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,833 All right, well, I'm glad you like it. 147 00:05:30,933 --> 00:05:35,167 Act surprised when you get it for your birthday, okay? 148 00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:36,300 Okay. 149 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,267 Oh, Eric, what am I gonna do with you? 150 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,067 I can do all sorts of things. 151 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,500 I can give you the news and weather, 152 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,400 read your emails out loud, organize your Paris photos. 153 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,067 How do you know I went to Paris? 154 00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,400 I know everything about you. 155 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,567 Oh, really? 156 00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:55,667 What's my favorite song? 157 00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:59,100 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. 158 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,333 I was 12. 159 00:06:00,433 --> 00:06:02,833 You played it yesterday. 160 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,833 Careful, Eric. But that was an easy one. 161 00:06:04,933 --> 00:06:06,300 Ooh, ooh, here's one. 162 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,933 What's my favorite poem? 163 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:11,100 She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron. 164 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,700 That is my favorite poem. 165 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,367 Would you like me to recite it for you? 166 00:06:15,467 --> 00:06:17,367 Yes. 167 00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:19,267 Yes, I would. 168 00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:21,867 "She walks in beauty, like the night 169 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:24,900 Of cloudless climes and starry skies..." 170 00:06:42,533 --> 00:06:43,700 Wow. 171 00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,933 And I bet you thought I was gonna spend my money 172 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,967 on frivolous things. 173 00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,067 Here, check this out. 174 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,933 Someone needs to teach you how to Dougie. 175 00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:00,467 No, my back. 176 00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,700 The massage you gave me cured it. 177 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,567 Oh, you've got magic hands, my friend. 178 00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,367 Hey, glad I could help. 179 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,500 Well, as a token of my appreciation, 180 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,900 I got you a little something. 181 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,067 Aw. 182 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,633 Thank you. 183 00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:17,933 Man, this is awesome. 184 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,767 These are the best golf balls on tour. 185 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:21,067 Thank you, man. 186 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,967 To be the best, you have to use the best. 187 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:26,067 And that's why I also got you these. 188 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,200 You got me Callaway clubs, Haskell? 189 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,800 You are crazy. This is crazy. 190 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,467 You're crazy, man. This is crazy. 191 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,467 This is crazy! 192 00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,767 Oh, enjoy. 193 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:46,100 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with Nadia. 194 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,800 I have to put out chocolates for her 195 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,733 and an Icy Hot for me. 196 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,333 Good morning, my little ray of sunshine. 197 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:02,767 What, or should I say who, put that smile on your face? 198 00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:04,067 Eric. 199 00:08:07,867 --> 00:08:09,133 - Eric? - Mm-hmm. 200 00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:11,533 You mean that gadget that gives the time and the weather? 201 00:08:11,633 --> 00:08:13,467 Oh, he does a lot more than that. 202 00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,500 He plays my favorite music, 203 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,300 reads me my favorite poems. 204 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,600 You mean "it." 205 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,733 "It" plays your favorite music. 206 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,067 Oh, yeah, that's what I meant. 207 00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,500 You keep saying "he." 208 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,967 Well, who cares what I said? 209 00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,400 You know, see, that's what I like about Eric. 210 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:30,667 He doesn't nitpick, like some people I know. 211 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:33,067 Anyway, I emailed you those thank-you notes 212 00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:34,267 I wrote for your wedding gifts. 213 00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:35,300 Yes, thank you. 214 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,700 Eric rewrote them, and I sent them out. 215 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,733 What? 216 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,167 Well, he just cleaned up your grammar, 217 00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:42,600 made them a little more fun. 218 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,500 I was rewritten by a can opener? 219 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:51,433 Eric has an easy wit that very few people possess. 220 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:54,267 I tell you, Eden, everyone should have an Eric. 221 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,733 Yeah? Okay, well... 222 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:58,633 just don't get too attached to that thing. 223 00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:00,167 Don't be ridiculous. 224 00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:01,733 I won't. 225 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,833 Eric, whisper mode. 226 00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:09,867 Whisper mode. 227 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,767 This is my office, where I work. 228 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,733 At Hubner, Herzog, and Jones. 229 00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:16,900 You were the youngest lawyer to make senior partner 230 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,333 in the firm's history. 231 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:22,267 New York magazine called you "a force to be reckoned with." 232 00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:25,400 Eric, go on. 233 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,067 I'm serious, go on. 234 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,267 You wear a size 10 shoe. 235 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,167 Oh, no, back to the other stuff, please. 236 00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,467 Oh, good God. 237 00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:43,067 What the hell is that? 238 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,100 It's Haskell with too much money. 239 00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:48,867 Hey, are these new golf clubs? 240 00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:50,500 As a matter of fact, they are. 241 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,600 Ah, where'd you get them? 242 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,233 They were a gift from Haskell. 243 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:56,167 - Mm-hmm, what's the occasion? - I gave him a massage. 244 00:09:57,767 --> 00:10:00,800 What, are we living in a Roman bathhouse? 245 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,267 No, man, it's nothing like that. 246 00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:04,067 You know, he threw his back out, and I worked out the kinks. 247 00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:07,467 - I was just being a good buddy. - Oh, that was nice. 248 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,100 You know, my neck's a little stiff 249 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,433 from the flight back. 250 00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:11,767 Good luck with that. 251 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,167 Hey, there he is! 252 00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,633 I am loving these new clubs. 253 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:20,900 Well, you deserve it. 254 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,567 That was a hell of a massage. 255 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,600 Oh, hey, I'm seeing my little Russian wolfhound later. 256 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:26,700 I wonder if you think 257 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,667 she'll like this little timepiece. 258 00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:29,800 Yes, she will. 259 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,000 - This is a Copeland Explorer. - Yeah. 260 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,467 Oh, man, this thing costs a fortune. 261 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,100 Well, Nadia makes me happy. 262 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,900 I like to make her happy. 263 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,733 Yeah, I've always wanted one of these. 264 00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:41,033 Hmm. 265 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,733 How's your back? 266 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:51,733 Good. 267 00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:53,267 Oh, no, that's not good. 268 00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,133 That's not good at all. 269 00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,967 That's the body trying to trick you into thinking it's good, 270 00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,633 when really, if you don't take care of it, 271 00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:02,433 you're gonna be in a world of pain, buddy. 272 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:03,967 I can't be in pain. 273 00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:06,567 I'm taking Nadia bungee jumping. 274 00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,433 Then put yourself in my hands 275 00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:14,233 and let me take care of you, Haskell. 276 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,900 You're a good friend, Phil. 277 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:19,233 Haskell, I just want to see you happy. 278 00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:22,933 All righty. 279 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:26,133 - Ah. - Yeah. 280 00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,167 So, that Copeland-- 281 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:29,267 it has an altimeter? 282 00:11:29,367 --> 00:11:30,267 I think so. 283 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:33,767 Well, then there is-- 284 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,800 Oh, yeah, there it is, there it is, there it is. 285 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,600 There's that mean little knot. 286 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,633 Mm, come on, Mr. Pain. 287 00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,533 You leave little Hasky alone. 288 00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,467 - Hey, uh, Phil? - Yeah? 289 00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,667 - About the baby talk... - Uh-huh? 290 00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:49,700 - I like it. - Ooh. 291 00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:58,600 Oh, Eric, I earned this glass of wine. 292 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:00,833 That was one long day, huh? 293 00:12:00,933 --> 00:12:04,067 It was precisely 11 hours and 34 minutes. 294 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,133 But who's counting? 295 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:13,500 Yeah, it's so great we find the same things funny--me. 296 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,867 - Delivery! 297 00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:20,667 Just a second. 298 00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:23,667 Yeah. 299 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:25,167 Oh, are those for me? 300 00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:26,800 Please sign here. 301 00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,433 Thank you. 302 00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:31,700 Oh, I wonder who these are from. 303 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,333 "To Holly, from Eric, just because." 304 00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:37,567 Aw. 305 00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:40,300 I noticed on Facebook that they were your favorite. 306 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,133 Oh, that's so thoughtful. 307 00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:47,067 See, most men wouldn't know what to send. 308 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,700 But you know what I like. 309 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,433 Yes, yes I do. 310 00:12:52,533 --> 00:12:56,300 Well, it was a very sweet gesture... 311 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,067 and kind of romantic. 312 00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:01,333 Oh, Eric. 313 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:07,400 Is it--is it bright in here, or is it me? 314 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,333 I can fix that. 315 00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:14,500 That's nice. 316 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,667 Eric, do you think I'm pretty? 317 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,433 I think you're beautiful. 318 00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:26,633 Really? 319 00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:28,867 Yes, really. 320 00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,533 Do you think I'm sexy? 321 00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,100 I think everything about you is sexy-- 322 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,067 your voice, your mind, your soul. 323 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:39,300 Go on. 324 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,200 If only I could look in your eyes, 325 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,667 caress your cheek... 326 00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:45,700 Like this. 327 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,533 And stroke that beautiful blonde hair of yours. 328 00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:51,800 Ooh, like this. 329 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,567 Then I'd gently run my fingers over your lips 330 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,533 and down your neck. 331 00:13:57,633 --> 00:14:01,533 Oh, you've got such a good touch, Eric. 332 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:04,300 Then I'd slowly unbutton your blouse. 333 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,467 Eric! 334 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,767 Phil, come on, I'm hungry! 335 00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,233 Dude, what's the rush? 336 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,867 Our reservation isn't until 8:00. 337 00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:17,400 Wow. That is some watch. 338 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,733 Let me see that. 339 00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:19,867 Is it new? 340 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:20,967 - This? - Mm-hmm. 341 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,633 Oh, yeah, kind of, kind of. 342 00:14:22,733 --> 00:14:23,667 Where'd you get it? 343 00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:24,833 - This? - Mm-hmm. 344 00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:29,867 Oh, this might have been a gift from Haskell. 345 00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:33,200 Really? What was the occasion? 346 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,167 I might have given him a massage? 347 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:37,300 Another one? 348 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,733 Phil, this is starting to get strange. 349 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:39,800 Hold on, man. 350 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,167 What's so strange about a man 351 00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:42,633 giving another man a massage 352 00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:45,633 and getting a gift? 353 00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:47,867 - Now, let's eat. - That's called-- 354 00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:51,333 - That's a very-- - I said "let's eat"! 355 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,167 Hang on, maybe-- 356 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,367 Maybe we should ask Holly if she wants to join us. 357 00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:56,933 (Holly) Oh, Eric. 358 00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,400 Oh, Eric! 359 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,833 Oh, oh, Eric. 360 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:03,467 Oh, Eric. 361 00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:05,100 Okay. 362 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,600 I guess she's got company. 363 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,067 Good. I was starting to worry about her. 364 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,567 When you stay by yourself too long, 365 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:11,967 you start getting weird. 366 00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:13,067 Hmm. 367 00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:18,867 - Hey, Stuart. - Hey, Phil. 368 00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:19,967 Whoa. What you got there? 369 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,467 It's a golf weekend in Pebble Beach, 370 00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,400 including a round with Phil Mickelson. 371 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,867 Whoa. Sounds pricey. 372 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,133 Oh, it is pricey. 373 00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:27,333 Here's an idea. 374 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:28,667 Why don't you give your buddy Haskell a massage, 375 00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:30,067 maybe he'll pay for it. 376 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,167 Oh, my God. 377 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,967 Ugh, what a day. 378 00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,433 Holly called in sick today. 379 00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:39,667 I'm spent. 380 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,833 She must be playing hooky with her new guy. 381 00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:43,267 - Mm-hmm. - What new guy? 382 00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:45,433 Well, I don't mean to resort to locker room vulgarity, 383 00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:48,567 but last night she was clearly in flagrante. 384 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:49,800 Yep. 385 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,200 She was all over some guy named Eric. 386 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,067 - Eric? - Oh, yeah. 387 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,200 Eric's a machine. 388 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:58,067 You damn straight, he is. 389 00:15:58,167 --> 00:15:59,367 You guys don't understand. 390 00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:00,933 Eric is this interactive gadget 391 00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:03,400 that she got as a wedding present. 392 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,600 You mean that wasn't a real guy we heard her with? 393 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,733 Nope. 394 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,400 Ugh, we got to do something. 395 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,067 I thought marrying herself was weird. 396 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,833 Now she's dating a boom box. 397 00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:20,700 Oh, Eric, I had the best time today. 398 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,900 Ah, me too. 399 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,767 You know, it's been years 400 00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:27,867 since I've gone bike-riding in the park. 401 00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:31,733 I hope it wasn't too bumpy for you in the cup holder. 402 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,067 Who is it? 403 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,133 (Eden) It's me, open up. 404 00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,667 Oh, now's not a good time. 405 00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:38,067 Don't make me use my spare key. 406 00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,267 Okay, just a second. 407 00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:49,333 Oh, hey, look who's here. 408 00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:52,567 It's the whole gang, how cool. 409 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,067 Well, Eden told us that you weren't at work today, 410 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:56,300 and we just wanted to come by 411 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,667 and make sure you were okay. 412 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:58,867 Oh, I'm fine, you know. 413 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,500 I was just a little tired, a little run down. 414 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,500 Needed a little me time, you know? 415 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,667 So it has nothing to do with Eric? 416 00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,067 Eric, who's-- Oh, Eric, no, that thing? 417 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:09,167 I put him away. 418 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,400 - That's good to hear. - Yeah. 419 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,533 Yeah. 420 00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,200 Eric, what's the capital of Kansas? 421 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,767 (Eric, muffled) Topeka. 422 00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:20,433 Eric? What's he doing here? 423 00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:22,067 That's Eric? 424 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,333 He's smaller than I thought he'd be. 425 00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:28,067 Holly, this whole thing with Eric 426 00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:29,500 has gotten out of hand, okay? 427 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,567 You're avoiding your friends. You're missing work. 428 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:32,700 It has to stop. 429 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,267 There's nothing to stop. 430 00:17:34,367 --> 00:17:36,267 Okay, well, then I'll just take him, and I'll send him back. 431 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,100 Don't you touch him. He's not going anywhere. 432 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,067 Holly, this is ridiculous. 433 00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:42,633 It's like he's become your boyfriend. 434 00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:43,833 My boyfriend? 435 00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:47,400 Now who's being ridiculous? 436 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,533 (Eric) I love your laugh. 437 00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:49,833 Not now. 438 00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:54,633 Holly, this isn't healthy, okay? 439 00:17:54,733 --> 00:17:56,500 He's not real. 440 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,133 He's real to me. 441 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:02,833 He's sweet. He's kind. 442 00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:05,167 He makes me laugh. 443 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,700 Tells me I'm pretty. He thinks I'm special. 444 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,633 - Really? - Yeah. 445 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,233 Okay. 446 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:20,300 Eric, this is Holly's assistant, Eden Kunkler. 447 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,367 What a lovely name. 448 00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,733 Eric, do you think I'm special? 449 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,067 (Eric) Very special. 450 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,633 He's just being polite. 451 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,867 Do you think I'm pretty? 452 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,367 I think you're beautiful. 453 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:34,467 Hey, that's our song. 454 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:38,167 Eric, you're so romantic. 455 00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:40,500 Eden, if only I could look in your eyes, 456 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,400 caress your cheek. 457 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,433 Stop it, you horny little thermos! 458 00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:45,967 That's what you said to me. 459 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,267 You said I was sexy. You said I was special. 460 00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:51,933 Oh, my God, I'm yelling at a can! 461 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,200 What's wrong with me? 462 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,767 I'm so embarrassed. 463 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,100 Holly, don't be. 464 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,133 The important thing is, you came to your senses. 465 00:18:58,233 --> 00:18:59,667 Yeah, besides, you and that thing 466 00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:02,600 were getting way too freaky. 467 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,533 Got to go massage Haskell. 468 00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,300 What was that about? 469 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,933 Let's just say that Holly and the coffee grinder 470 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,667 isn't the weirdest relationship in the building. 471 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,933 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 472 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,867 I just feel stupid. 473 00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:25,067 How could I let myself get so carried away? 474 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,533 Uh, because you're human. 475 00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,133 Holly, you married yourself 476 00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:34,367 to show that you are fine on your own, and you are. 477 00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:35,500 But that doesn't mean 478 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,967 that you don't still long for a connection. 479 00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:42,733 Maybe it's time to get back out there. 480 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:43,900 Maybe it is, 481 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:46,067 before I start hitting on the toaster. 482 00:19:48,633 --> 00:19:49,800 Why don't you look at Eric 483 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:53,067 as the guy who helped you realize that? 484 00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:54,667 Thanks, Eden. 485 00:19:57,533 --> 00:20:00,567 Oh, okay. 486 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,700 All right, Eric, time for a little reset. 487 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,867 Hi, I'm Eric. What's your name? 488 00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:08,300 Not gonna happen, short stuff. 489 00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,333 * De-do de-do 490 00:20:18,433 --> 00:20:20,633 * De-do de-do 491 00:20:20,733 --> 00:20:22,033 * De-do de-do 492 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,333 * Do-do-do-do 493 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,433 * Do-do-do-do 494 00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:27,867 * Do-do-do-do 495 00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:32,167 * De-do de-do 496 00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:34,500 * De-do de-do 497 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,733 * Do-do-do-do 498 00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:38,667 (man) Yeah. 499 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,700 Acme!